Secrets to Parenting with Grace

When Cathlene Miner confronted her inner demons and emerged as a pillar of strength, she didn't just reshape her body; she reshaped her life. In a candid conversation, she walks us through her remarkable transformation from struggling single mother to fitness professional, unravelling the complexities of self-perception and its rippling effects on our existence. Her story isn't just about overcoming adversity; it's a blueprint for parenting with purpose, for nurturing a spirit of resilience, and for infusing daily routines with joy and abundance.

Peel back the layers of personal growth and you'll find self-perception at its core. Cathlene and I tackle the weighty topics of honesty within and the influence of our social circles on our life's trajectory. We share the wisdom of listening to our internal cues, approaching life with a poised confidence, and aligning our actions with deeply held values. The journey isn't about racing to the finish line—it's about cherishing each step, especially when guiding our children through the complexities of literacy, technology, and setting healthy boundaries.

The digital world is a labyrinth of content, and as parents, it's our duty to shield our children from the perils that lurk within. Cathlene introduces us to her visionary platform, designed to let kids express their creativity safely and learn the ropes of digital entrepreneurship. We discuss the urgent need for vigilance in online spaces and the broader implications of digital safety for future generations. True love, as we uncover, often means setting firm limits and preparing our offspring to navigate a world of instant access and endless distractions.

Transcript

Julie Hilsen: 0:09

Hello, dear friends, and welcome to another episode of Life of Love, where we gather in the spirit of sharing the divine feminine curiosity, love, creativity and just everyday inspiration. So today is a very special day. I get to introduce Kathleen Miner to Life of Love. She is a heroine. She's a heroine of motherhood. She even has a few grandchildren, she's a mother of four, and it's just a beautiful story how she's navigated the transitions of her life with such grace.

Julie Hilsen: 0:46

And you know, I know that she's going to have a lot to share with us about her journey. But from what? Everything I've seen about her and we've talked about before this episode, I know that she's going to bring forth inspiration and hope and hope and just her work with nonprofits and helping people monetize their dreams and passions has been just monumental. And I'm just so honored to have this space and this time with her. And I hope everyone can listen to the end, because I know there's going to be so many pearls and so many lovely things that she can share with us. And I encourage everyone to check out her website, catherine minorcom, and I'll put a link to it, but you don't want to miss anything because she's just a bright light in this world and Kathleen Kathleen, thank you so much for being here.

Cathlene : 1:38

Well, thank you so much for having me. It is my honor to be here.

Julie Hilsen: 1:51

I'm a big fan because I know how hard it is to be a mom and when your number one passion and goal is to raise these children and hold a family together, it can be so thankless, and you know sometimes we need things to add sparkle or to add value to that.

Julie Hilsen: 2:07

But, you know, the main thing is that there's value to it, because we're very important and needed, and I would love for you to share something about your story that could inspire someone who might feel like they're living in a thankless situation or, you know, you're you focus a lot on self-perception and, um, give us some idea of how that came about and um, was it because you weren't feeling appreciated, or or you had trouble finding your abundance, even though it was around you? Like, just give us some insight as to that and how you came about having that perspective.

Cathlene : 2:43

Yeah, so for my self-perception, which is what you think and feel about yourself I started to think about it because when I was younger, I had an eating disorder in high school I'm just going to give you a little background story and then I realized that in order for me to be able to stay healthy for the rest of my life, I've got to figure this out. So I started to eat better, started to exercise and was really excited and loving that journey and the things that were going right in my life were the things that I was focusing on. Well, the one thing that I felt wasn't really going the way I wanted it to was the way I felt about myself and so kind of condense all of this. I got pregnant at 19, was feeling really down about myself, not because I was pregnant, because I was really sick. So those of you might know what hyperemesis is when you get sick your entire pregnancy basically.

Julie Hilsen: 3:38

It's never-ending morning sickness.

Cathlene : 3:40

So I was in the hospital for about seven months of my pregnancy and, believe it or not, I had hyperemesis all four pregnancies. So it just, unfortunately, is something my body is like yeah, you're pregnant. Okay, this is what happens. So I started to realize that, with my job and all these things that were going right, I wasn't. So I needed to start focusing on myself and what I thought about myself.

Cathlene : 4:06

Now, after having two children, I became a single mom. So I was a single mom of two kids and I was working a full-time job and two part-time jobs. And one of my part-time jobs was in the fitness industry because I wanted to again stay healthy and be able to work out. But I didn't have the money to join a gym because I was a single mom and trying to just get my life together and make ends meet. So the way I did that was I got certified to teach all different kinds of aerobics and then I was teaching women. So I was personal training them. But then I started to realize how great I was feeling about myself and I said you know what? I'm going to start adding this into my personal training.

Cathlene : 4:46

So, as I was training these women that were looking amazing. On the outside, what I was noticing was they weren't very happy. They still weren't happy. They thought that was what was going to make them happy right, being a certain size and being able to fit into a certain clothing or bathing suit. But that really wasn't it. So I started to focus on their self-perception, what they felt and thought about themselves. So that's how self-perception in my life changed my life. But how I was able to start helping other women change theirs and then, later down the road, as I was being a stay-at-home mom I was a stay-at-home mom for over 20 years is when I started writing the book. So that's how that came about and it's really simple. I mean, this isn't hard stuff you have to do. You just have to do it. You have to take the time to do these things. That take about five or 10 minutes a day and that's like 30 days.

Julie Hilsen: 5:41

Your, your blog is change it in 30 days because it makes it part of your routine.

Cathlene : 5:47

Absolutely, it's part of your routine. But also, I do my book every six months because it takes about five to six months for the outside world to start, you know, piling on you again, and then you subconsciously start to think these things or get into these habits and routines that you really need to shift again. So it's not like you do something once. It's like going to the gym. You can't go to the gym for two weeks and decide, oh, I don't ever have to go again because I feel amazing. It's something we have to work on all the time, just like spirituality. I mean, there's so many things that you just have to keep a part of your everyday life.

Julie Hilsen: 6:22

It makes sense. I mean everything else else. We detox, we clean out our refrigerator. You know, like if you do it every two weeks, it's not so bad, right? If you do it every week, it's. You know, it's like your, your mental, your perception, and you're right, things are coming at us all the time and you have to like deal with it, subconsciously almost, because it's just so intense that you oh, I love, I love how you put that. That makes a lot of sense.

Cathlene : 6:49

But also whatever you think and feel about yourself. I always say it dictates the chances you take, the choices you make, the relationships you stay in and the ones that you leave, and that is both professionally and personally. So it also affects the people that surround you and the relationships that you're in, because we attract those things right. So if we're really feeling in a funk all the time, we're probably going to attract a lot of people that feel like they're in a funk or people that need help getting out of a funk. Right, Well, maybe we're that kind of person that can help people. But when you're in a funk, sometimes the last thing you really need is to be surrounded by those type of people. We need to be lifted up by working on your self-perception regularly. It really does change literally everything around you.

Julie Hilsen: 7:38

And it's just so wonderful because it's all inside of you. It's not that exercise program, it's something that you can learn about yourself. But how beautiful that you had this space where you're like, okay, I'm going to show up as my best person and that's all we can do is show up as our best self. And then you're like, wait a minute, there's something missing. And so many times the people around us reflect what we need, right, like they're mirrors and, like you said, you attract what you put out there. So it's beautiful work to look at yourself and really be honest.

Julie Hilsen: 8:18

It is.

Cathlene : 8:21

But it's hard for a lot of people too. It really is, and that's why some people don't do that. They feel like they'll go to therapy, they'll go do all of these other things or vent to a whole bunch of other people, but they're not willing to take a look at you know what? It's really? Something in me I need to change, I need to shift. It needs to be a mindset shift, because nobody can fix this for us, nobody, and especially if you're trying to hide it.

Julie Hilsen: 8:51

You'll go to that therapist and you'll say everything you think they want them to hear, right? Because you're not willing to be vulnerable to lay it out, because it's scary.

Cathlene : 9:01

It is, and a lot of what I see with therapy is and I work with this a lot right because of the nonprofit that I have is so many times, unfortunately, they want to start looking back into the past, and I understand. Sometimes, yeah, you might need to dig some things up and figure out where it came from. But when do we start moving forward? You know, by digging up a lot of things from the past all of the time, it sometimes will bring up things that now we've got to heal from that too. So, by working on your own self-perception, where you are right now in this life, it gives you the opportunity to say, okay, here I am, this is where I want to be, this is where I want to go and to start to move forward, because we're all limitless. I mean, we really are. We just have to give ourselves the chance to be that way.

Julie Hilsen: 9:55

That's so well said. And you can't create a new timeline, you can't create a new reality if you're stuck in the past and re-dredging and muddying the waters. I love that symbolism. I think it's a Lao Tao I'm probably saying it wrong, but he says you know, wait. He's a famous philosopher. He says wait till the water settles. Can you wait for the water to settle so you can see your path? And I feel like so many things right now. We want to just take immediate action, we want a bandaid, we want to fix, just you know three-step program let's get in and out, and life isn't like that.

Julie Hilsen: 10:31

You're a divine being. You're very, very complicated. It's okay to not know the answer, and I think that's the scariest thing about bringing all this stuff up. It's like can I ever get to?

Cathlene : 10:39

the end.

Cathlene : 10:41

So you're telling people there's hope Right and there never is an end. There really is never an end, and sometimes I found that to benefit me a lot, and it is just take a step back. Take a step back, especially if I feel like I have to rush to do something and we talk about that in the book. If I feel like it's a go, go, go, I have to do this now. That's my sign always to say, okay, I need to. I need to take a step back, give it a day, unless it's something that's going to affect somebody's wellbeing. If I don't make a decision right now, then I just take a step back and I see how I feel in the morning, or see how I feel in a few hours or in a week.

Cathlene : 11:17

Because every time I have ignored that and just went with it, I either felt like it was a waste of time or I felt like if I would have waited, I wouldn't have been so upset, so aggravated, things would have went smoother. And also when we're always trying to run and grab at things or say, oh my gosh, I got to rush and do this. It really should be a red light bulb that goes off that says, oh, whoa, whoa, there's something better out there, slow it down. Slow it down Instead of saying, oh my gosh, I got to get through this really quickly, so it's the opposite. And so many people do think when they feel that rush, oh, I've got to do this, that means I've got to do this now. And I think when we realize that it's actually the opposite, we'll see our lives start to shift.

Julie Hilsen: 12:07

It's freedom right? It's like you don't have to put pressure on yourself.

Cathlene : 12:14

Right, we don't. And and you know, then some people say, well then that's laziness, that means you're not moving forward. No, there's a difference, and the difference is you feel that difference inside too, right?

Julie Hilsen: 12:26

So when I'm excited about something, you know that you're coming at something with your quality, with your values underneath it and with your confidence that you're not, you're not uncomfortable, you're, you're present and you're there with a hundred percent. It doesn't feel funky like that Funky. I love how you said that it's a red light when you have to feel like you're grabbing or pushing to get something done. You're not in your resource and you don't see it. You don't see the gifts around you, because your tunnel vision of what you've got to do, that's when you're going to have an accident. You're, oh, so many times if you're rushing around, that's when you get into a car accident. Right, it's like the universe saying you're going too fast, you're, you're not in the moment. Hello.

Cathlene : 13:11

Yeah. So I really feel like we have to think about it in that way. And if more people would just even start out with 50% of the time thinking about it that way, because it's hard for people that are used to being on go, go, go and I used to be that way and so I know, and all the signs would point to you know, basically beating me over the head of stop and I would not listen. And so now I do, and it's so much more of a peaceful life, but still with getting things done, because I'm following the things that excite me. Now are there things that don't excite me that I have to do sometimes?

Cathlene : 13:53

Yes, that's life, but that's different, right? There's things that we have to get done. We have an obligation, like making dinner. If you're a stay at home mom, you don't feel like making dinner that night, but you want to know what, like everybody has to eat, you've got to do it. So there's it's different when we get those signs of slow down. Don't try to run after this person either when they start to veer away from you, which is something else with self-perception, that people, when they really start to dig in and they notice that people around them are changing and they get a little nervous because they're like, oh my gosh, I haven't heard from that person in like a week. Okay, well, that's really what you asked for, though, because that person was so toxic for you. Let them go, like, let them go If you want to get to where you want to be. Unfortunately, that person's probably going to have to be out of your life for a little while, or forever.

Julie Hilsen: 14:53

That's hard because we get attached and then you feel like you might let someone down and then you like guilt in and you know there's so much that can come at you and you know that's right. I'll just share what I do when I'm feeling in this, this brantic.

Julie Hilsen: 15:10

You're like how am I going to get all this done? I have a list and it's just like oh, I'll just get quiet and ask my angels. I'll say you know, show me, show me what there is for me to see with this. And all of a sudden, answers will start coming to me. I'll listen to a song, I'll get inspiration. You know there's there's no substitute for turning on some music and dancing around your kitchen when you have to get something done, Cause all of a sudden, it's like this flow comes in and you're open to, to creativity, and I like to think about it when you're you have.

Julie Hilsen: 15:44

If you've ever been surfing or bodyboarding, you know you wait, you sit and you wait for that wave, Cause you know the timing. If you catch that wave, you're going to get your thrill, Like, and it's going to be easy, it's going to be effortless, and sometimes you miss the wave, but that's part of life, right, Like, and sometimes you get dumped on and it doesn't work out, but it's just nothing but grace, because as long as you're learning, as long as you're showing up and you're saying I'm just here for my best, my best self, whatever I can do today is what I can do and it's okay. Don't put all this pressure on yourself. There's so much pressure to be something bigger and better than what what you are, because you're perfect. So I just I always like to tell people when I love that your message is in alignment with it, because it just reinforces Well, I love what. Your message is in alignment with it because it just reinforces Well, I love what you just said about alignment.

Cathlene : 16:34

So that is that feeling that you get when you feel like you're rushing. The reason why it feels so frantic and out of line is because it's out of line. That's why you don't feel right. So, by taking that minute and just like what you said, asking your angels and guys and God, whatever it is people relate to, I will say I, I, even if you can call it talking to yourself, whatever works for you.

Cathlene : 16:57

I do that a lot. I do. I just stop. And it may be it's to myself, but usually these days, since I don't have any more kids at home, I can talk to myself out loud and I do it a lot at home. I can talk to myself out loud and I do it a lot. I just say, okay, what am I supposed to be seeing here? Please put the right thing in my path. Excuse me in my path, excuse me.

Julie Hilsen: 17:33

I love it. We're doing a hydro flask commercial.

Cathlene : 17:37

I know, right, we love them. Actually, we all have them Although sometimes, when they drop and you're out somewhere and it sounds like you know a bomb shot, yeah, um. But I feel like I talk to myself a lot and I tell myself you know what, what is it? Or my angels and guides just show me the way. I need help, and I've done that through the years. And you know I have four children.

Cathlene : 18:03

There's been times where, you know, as my kids were growing up, going through the teenage years and even some of them in the early 20s, when I was like, oh my gosh, like I don't even know how to handle this right now, because things just come out of left field. Oh, like I always tell people too that have little kids and you tell me, if you can relate to this because you're a mom, that the things you worry about when your kids are little are not the things you're going to have to worry about when your kids are little, are not the things you're going to have to worry about when they get older. They're not, they're not. And so I've talked to women who will talk to me about you know. You know Sarah's not reading and she's, you know, six years old. It's, she's going to be fine, she's really going to be fine, it's going to catch up, she's going to be fine.

Cathlene : 18:56

But you know, we put so much of our energy in that and I would love to just throw out there to parents, moms, since that's what I can relate to, to give yourself a break to you know, take a deep breath and talk. Talk to yourself, your angels, your guides, just like you said. But as they got older, I felt you, you know some things that some of my kids went through, which is just life right, and you're like boy, I didn't really figure out how to handle this one. This wasn't in my book of mom bombing, you know, and you just have to ask for help and it comes that's surrender.

Julie Hilsen: 19:31

Like here we are. What, what can we do? And and to me it always comes back to love. And as long as, no matter what your child's struggling with, your foundation of love is number one of what they need. They need your unconditional acceptance, they need your soft landing. You know sometimes, sometimes they need limits and consequences. I'm not saying, let your kids do whatever they want, but sometimes love is saying, well, this isn't loving and it's unacceptable, but I love you. And if you make a bad choice, you have a consequence, but I'm still going to love you. It's not. My love isn't conditional on you making the right choice, but I'd like to see you make the right choice. That would be fun to celebrate it.

Cathlene : 20:12

Yeah, and I think I love what you said because I think you know I'm 52. And so I say that because it seems like I was raising my kids a little bit different than maybe some of the newer parents are now from what I see. You know, they always want to make sure they talk about their feelings all the time and all of that. Now, I'm not saying that's wrong, but I am saying that if you keep, our kids need boundaries, right. So. And the other thing is, if we keep asking our kids how they feel all the time, they're probably going to come up with something that they didn't really feel, because they just want to answer your question. And that's something that I've seen in just the timing of things right now. And so I agree 100 percent it's follow them. They need the love, they need to know there's a soft landing, they need love. But also I think sometimes we've got to tell our kids hey, listen, that's not a smart choice, it's not. I love you, but also my job as a parent is to guide you in the direction, because even more so these days, tell me if you've heard this.

Cathlene : 21:29

But you know the human brain as far as being developed, right, I mean they're saying now it's not until they're 26 or 27 years old. And how? Why has that changed? A lot of it has changed because of this phone. So the thing is is now they have instant gratification.

Cathlene : 21:46

So problem solving isn't something that's coming natural to a lot of kids. Having to wait, like we just talked about that big red flag, they want it now. Having to wait so that part of their brains have not developed like, say, mine has or yours did, because we had to go, we had to wait for things. It wasn't instant gratification, and if we needed an answer we had to go find it right, whether we went to the library or had to look in the encyclopedia or had to ask somebody else what are their, what's their opinion?

Cathlene : 22:21

What did they think? Have they ever heard of this? And now they look it up, now it could even I mean obviously all the fake stuff that's out there. They don't even know if it's true that they're learning what they're learning. But so I think a parent's guidance is even more important now. Not that it wasn't before as well, but our kids are being bombarded with so much stuff that as parents, it's our job to make sure that they're at least headed in the right direction. They need to make some of their own choices after a certain age, and we need to be there when they quote if they fall, but we need to at least be able to point them in those right directions.

Julie Hilsen: 23:04

I couldn't agree more and I love what you're doing with the social media awareness and how we need to protect our children and it's such a mission and it's so needed, absolutely. And I said something about making a right or wrong choice and I'd like to edit that because I truly believe and I've had a change of my perspective because I used to judge things a lot as right or wrong. I would like to propose you say you needed to learn that lesson. You made that choice so you could learn about that and you don't have to make that choice again because you already learned it. And that's how I have compassion for myself. I'd be like, ooh, I don't think I'd do that again, but I'm really glad I got to see that.

Julie Hilsen: 23:53

And you know, that's that's life. You play out scenarios and and hopefully you can stay on course, just enough so you don't make a hard left turn and into something that is changing everything around you for making it too hard. But there are. There are reasons for these obstacles and just to to give your kids the idea that you trust them, you believe in them. Everybody makes a choice that they regret, but it's how you recover, it's it's how you give yourself compassion, how you learn how to modulate and and and take responsibility for any, any harm you might have caused or any repercussions. I mean to me when a child can say I messed up, what can I do? What more can we ask for in our society?

Cathlene : 24:44

Absolutely A hundred percent, a hundred percent. And the thing is too, when we learn it's just let's not do that again, then you know, we want our kids and ourselves. It makes it so less sticky.

Julie Hilsen: 24:58

It makes life so less serious, it's less heavy. You can move on from that. Like judgment shame oh, you're a bad person. No, you're a good person who made a choice you regret. It's part of being alive. Everything doesn't have to be so serious.

Cathlene : 25:16

That's absolutely right. And I think, with our kids, if there's things that say they're heading in a direction that you're like this is not good, of course there's times when you do have to say, like you said, making those decisions, we do have to guide them in those decisions because we know that it's going to be detrimental to their health or wellbeing and I think that's where, as a parent, we have to make that choice. Do we let them fall, which I agree with, letting them fall right, so that they know when they get back up we're here, just go in the way. That way didn. When they get back up, we're here, just go in the way. That way didn't work. So now we're going that way, you know.

Cathlene : 25:56

But then as a parent, it's our responsibility too to say no, that's, that's not going to work and we have to give those hard boundaries and I I hope that I know back in the day. I say back in the day because my parents were sure like that, like no, that is not happening. But looking back I will say they were right every single time. It wasn't like they were unreasonable, they just there were certain things that they knew. If I moved forward with it, it would literally change my life in not a good way. So I love the balance between it. And you're right, I don't think there are any mistakes. I think that we just need to learn from them and not mislead them, and that's what we want to make sure our kids know.

Julie Hilsen: 26:44

So beautiful. Well, we're coming up to to the end of our time, but I just wondered was there anything else that you wanted to share about what you're working on right now? And and just just anything else at all, I mean.

Cathlene : 27:04

So a friend of mine went into business together and so I'm the co-founder of a site. It's called zz adam, zz a t e m. So if you want to get your business out, so it's blogging and we have a very high SEO reach. So our search engine optimization is very well done in the background and we just encourage people. We did this because, with me helping so many women, this is for men or women, but of course, when you're a personal trainer, you end up helping them with all kinds of stuff, right, because you're with them all the time. If they're starting a business and you've done your own businesses, they'll ask your opinion and you can head them in the direction. And then my very good friend of mine is the founder of one of the largest women's networking organizations in the world, and so she's helping women with business every single day. So we wanted to have people's information to be picked up on search engines without having to run ads and things like that. So that's when we created this platform. So if anybody wants to get their information out there, go it's. You can either get to it on your desktop or we have an app and you simply put your blogs in there and it'll start getting picked up. So it's absolutely amazing. And when I say the tech stuff, like I, I've learned a lot about coding, of course, because we had to have this site built right. So I've learned a whole lot of things that if you would have asked me three years ago and I've said you are crazy, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not doing any kind of tech stuff. The other thing that we have not launched yet has to do with kids and a kids creator site, which is completed. It's just a matter of launching it because I am, like you said, very much an advocate about safety with kids online, because the minute we give our kids a phone, we are opening up their world to things that they should not be seeing.

Cathlene : 28:49

Now, when we were creating this app, I had to do a lot of research and the stuff I saw okay, like it is jaw dropping, the stuff that's out there that kids all they have to do is be on, just be on their phone, because the difference is too. Like we were saying when we were younger, we had to look for things. Look for things right. First we had to know what it was if it was brought up in a conversation, maybe, or you see it on the front of a magazine. Oh, what's that piques our curiosity, and then we gotta figure out what it's talking about. Now the stuff's being fed to them, right, and the algorithm in the background.

Cathlene : 29:31

So our kids that are seemingly good kids they're not looking for this information about, you know, harm, harming themselves, or drugs or sex or any of this. They're not looking for it, but it's finding them. And I keep going like this because I I imagine it just being at them through the phone, because that's what's happening and we've got to protect our kids from this. And so right now, say, a kid wants to watch something on YouTube, and it's like a kid showing somebody how to make slime, right, very, very innocent. Well, in the middle of that YouTube video, an ad may pop in, and I've seen it myself. Ad pops in and it's totally inappropriate content for somebody that's nine years old or whatever age they are, and so this stuff is not being filtered like it should. So what we have is something that's only for 17 and under. The kids actually learn how to be an entrepreneur as well, because they're able to monetize their stuff. So that's, that's something we'll have to talk about at some point once we launch it.

Julie Hilsen: 30:38

But yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to have that conversation, Cause it is, it's like the silent lurker. It's like it used to know the creepy guy, because he looked creepy and nobody talked to him and you could stay away. But now the creepy guy is in camouflage and just coming straight into your consciousness.

Cathlene : 30:57

It's um that loss of innocence is such a tragedy and we have to reclaim it we do, and so I've, you know, sometimes I feel like, unfortunately, that it becomes political, and I'm not a political person and so I feel I've just been thrown into some things lately that I'm like, oh my gosh, like I just really do have I've. Now I've got three grandkids too. So even though my kids are, you know, youngest one is 18 and the rest are older, you know, I've got three grandkids and they're at the ages where I mean they all know technology, I mean they have a lot of limits, they're not allowed to be on things and they don't play games and stuff like that. But I know what's out there and it's scary, but us as parents and grandparents, we can help. We can help, we can really change it.

Julie Hilsen: 31:50

Right, I do think you mentioned political, and I know I don't like to get political or religious. I'm spiritual but I don't like to get into religious. But at some point, you know our the way our society's set up. We have government overreach on a lot of things. How has this been dropped? This is this is our. I mean, if they can read all of our emails with the Patriot Act, you know like how come our kids can't be protected. It's something that's lacking in our world and I feel like there's been a light being shone on it for a reason and we can make it change. But yeah, at some point there has to be some kind of repercussion and unfortunately it's political, because it'll be like a law or something like. I know we don't like to get political.

Cathlene : 32:44

At some point our people that we elect need to be accountable, so I, and the thing is is, if they're going to, we have to make sure that they have the best interests of our families, and I don't feel like that's happening. So the only way is for us to speak out about it and talk about it, and so that's what I've been finding myself doing more and more. And I will say again, when you say we surround ourselves with the people that are for our highest good and, um, there've been some people that don't agree with me, but I will say I, I have to I asked myself like I don't understand. I still don't understand, because I'm I'm just trying to bring something out there that's protecting kids. So you know like I don't understand the mindset, but then again, I'm it's not my job to. It is just to make sure that I feel like I'm doing the right thing, because if we all do the right thing, which is protecting our kids, then it will just grow from there. And that's what I would love to just tell everybody to.

Cathlene : 33:49

Whatever you have in your heart, do it. Don't worry about what Susie Q or Johnny is going to think about it. It doesn't matter, because in the big picture, it matters what you're doing, and those people are probably just afraid of what everybody else will say, so that you know so. And that's kind of what happens, right, that domino effect of negativity versus and I try to keep this stuff as positive as as you can with a situation that's kind of scary, but I think I think we do a pretty good job. And I think we do a pretty good job because we're moms and we know, we truly know deep in our hearts that we are only doing this for the good of the kids, like that's. There's no other reason for this. It's not trying to prove a point. I just think we have to make sure our kids are safe, and this online stuff and the stuff that they're learning um is a problem and I've, unfortunately had my own personal experience with it and it is not good it's not good.

Julie Hilsen: 34:49

It is not good. We had experience in our family with it and it's just like we had to sit down and have a conversation I never thought we'd have to have and, um, yeah, it was good because, you're right, you control what's in your field, you can control what you can control, and if we all do our best to control what we can control what's in our field, then you're right, it'll make a ripple effect and everyone doing their best can help out.

Cathlene : 35:17

So that's, that's hope. It is hope, and I think also parents need to not be afraid to take the phone away.

Cathlene : 35:26

We could be talking about this all day, so I won't keep you all, but I mean they need to because you know, I mean we did that, we took away the phone for a year, a full year. I mean it is what it is. You have to do your part and I think so many parents are afraid of their kids getting mad at them, but they're kids and they need our guidance and actually they want boundaries.

Julie Hilsen: 35:55

They really do. Yeah, the world's a big, scary place without boundaries. I mean, think about it.

Cathlene : 36:02

Well then that. That, though, also represents how they go out into the world, right? Are they going to have boundaries when they have relationships and say, I don't, they realize, okay, I don't need to be treated this way. If they don't have any boundaries, they're going to take anything, right? So it is our job to do that. So, anyway, there's always a lot to talk about, because I know us moms have been through there's a lot of ups and downs, and I would say, the more kids you have, the more you have in your head about things that have happened.

Julie Hilsen: 36:32

So, yeah, and sometimes living a life of love means making a choice that might not be the easiest, but you're doing it from your heart. So thank you so much for sharing all this wisdom and grace. This has been wonderful. I can't wait to share it. Yes.

Cathlene : 36:51

Thank you so much for having me. This has been amazing. The time has flown by.