Episode 31: Trans on the Go - Travel Tips

This week, Jess leads, joined by Erica and Rachel!

We discuss the ins-and-outs of traveling as a gender nonconforming person. Tips, tricks and stories! Travel can be dangerous for folx like us; we hope this episode gives you more awareness and confidence!

Links from Jess:

Refugee Restrooms: http://www.refugerestrooms.org

The Translash Podcast with Imara Jones: https://translash.org/podcast/

Links regarding HB 68 from Vanessa - please contact Governor DeWine to urge him to veto the bill!:

Message the Governor: https://action.aclu.org/send-message/protect-trans-youth-stop-hb-68

HRS Press Release on HB 68: https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/gov-dewine-veto-hb-68-dont-let-anti-transgender-discrimination-take-over-ohio

Transcript

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Jess: 0:00

That's last moment adjustments here. Okay, I think we're good welcome back everyone to another episode of transcending humanity podcast. We are thrilled to have all of you watching and listening today. And we have a fun and hopefully informative episode in store. My name is Jess pronouns are they them, and I'll be leading the episode today. At first, I'm actually going to hand the mic over to Vanessa for just a minute. get us started.

Vanessa: 0:38

Hey, everyone, it's Vanessa. I wasn't gonna be on this episode this week. And I'm just gonna bow out really quickly after I talk because I had my vocal feminization surgery. But Ohio today just passed HB 68, which is the anti trans bill for kids, making it illegal for minors to receive gender affirming care in the state of Ohio. It's going to the governor's desk, Governor dewine. And I'm deeply hurt by this for a number of reasons. My stepfather, Bill Romer is an Ohio State House representative. And despite having a trans stepdaughter, he voted yes. On on the bill. So there are only two Republicans in Ohio that voted no on it. There's one House Rep and there's one senator. But I'm hoping that I have this episode published in time for people to click the link, but I'm gonna put a link in the description where people can message Governor dewine and ask him to veto this bill. It's Republicans have put a party over people. And this bill is it's it's gonna kill people. Some people like my stepfather have blood on their hands now. So I just wanted to put that out there really quick. I can't talk anymore. But thank you just for letting me pop in really quick.

Jess: 2:08

Of course, yeah, that's really disappointing. on multiple levels, I totally get it. And especially, I mean, Vanessa had mentioned before that I think her stepfather hadn't really taken much of a position before. So that really sucks. It can be really rough right now out there in in the news of all the politics of bills, and now even, not just bills, but laws that are coming to having to be implemented now, because of the whatever bills that actually passed. I know that's happening in North Carolina, too. There's some laws that made it through that are finally being implemented now. So it's like the effects are finally going to be rolling down. So that sucks. All right. Well, we are going to move away from politics for the rest of the episode, I must admit, so that was that was the political portion. This is episode 31. We're calling this one trans on the go. It is tips for traveling as a trans person. And before we jump in, I need to give my lovely co hosts a chance to introduce themselves. And I brought an icebreaker question because I just tend to do that. So I'll hand the mic over to you both. And the icebreaker question is What is your favorite holiday beverage? Whoever wants to start?

Rachel: 3:47

Well, I do have one. So this is Rachel. I use she her pronouns. So eggnog has historically been my absolute favorite holiday beverage, but my tongue really likes eggnog. The rest of my body does not like eggnog. So I've been very gratified in recent years that an oat milk based economic has come out and is available at my local grocery stores. Because now I can have as much as I want without my body hating me and that's really wonderful.

Jess: 4:26

That sounds so it's just yeah, I'm on that train as well. I must admit. Eggnog is

Rachel: 4:31

good stuff.

Erica: 4:35

America it's been a little bit since I've been on an episode. I have to say I have not an eggnog friend. Sorry guys. My favorite drink is probably like a peppermint mocha which I have to like dole those out like one a week because I will drink them every day and put on a million pounds over Christmas. I Um, so yeah, probably peppermint. For me as just a big coffee drinker. I also want to take a second to say I've been doing vocal feminization training for the last six weeks. So my voice is gonna go from here to here, probably throughout this episode, right? So I just want to know, realize that trans some trans people go through transitions with their voices. And that's what I'm doing as well.

Jess: 5:31

I'm in a similar place for various reasons. So I'm kind of all over the a little bit all over the vocal range. You're in there. And I'm also slightly getting over a cold. So I've got a little a little bit of that too. But

Erica: 5:48

I just Yeah, it sounds good on you.

Jess: 5:53

It's just part of the trans experience. It

Erica: 5:56

is it is for those some of us that are on testosterone gets tend to have some benefit from that those of us that are transplant we either have to go through surgery or go through bulk, which I'm trying to get into first. Cool.

Rachel: 6:13

Okay. Oh, I'm always down for the least invasive option. Right.

Jess: 6:19

It's good to see what the options are. Yeah, yeah.

Erica: 6:21

Yeah, I can't I, sir, I cannot wait to hear Vanessa's voice once it's all healed up. And I know that we heard her a little bit tonight, she's probably not really supposed to be talking about how important it was what she had to say. But I've always had really good vocal range and really good command of my voice. I thought I might have some success with vocal training. And I'm doing really well. So far. It's mostly like muscle memory for me at this point.

Jess: 6:46

100% I get that. Absolutely. Cool. All right. Well, all the disclaimers got it going. So So with diving into the topic now with the trans on the go traveling topic, I want to just start off with acknowledging that we are not the first Transcender podcast that's put out an episode on this topic. It's a it's a great topic to discuss because it can be challenging, or feel, sometimes a little tricky to travel as a trans person. But there is a really great episode that came out this July from trans slash podcast with Mr. Jones. That is called traveling while trans. It is just a great episode, I listened to it. I happen to listen to it while I was on a plane. Just kind of circumstance. I don't even travel that much right now. But I just happened to be on a plane had downloaded this episode, and was listening to it. And I totally got like a travel bug from it. Like I was like, oh, I need to figure out how to like book my next vacation or you know, it was a really fun and and inspiring episode. And I really like the train slash media. Everything that that organization puts out, led by Mr. Jones, and really love how she always highlights her perspective as a black trans femme. Really great. So I just want to acknowledge that episode was awesome. We're gonna talk about you know, we there may be a little bit of crossover and what we talked about, we're also probably going to talk about some different stuff. But just just wanting to acknowledge the, you know, the shoulders that we're standing on here and a little podcast episode world. So yeah, that's. Erica, did you get a chance to listen to that? Yeah,

Erica: 8:47

I did get through it all. I do occasionally listen to her podcast, but I hadn't actually found that one actually loved it. But it was great. Particularly from the black transplant perspective. I thought it was a Those are great. So yeah, probably some overlaps. But we're also going to do our own thing.

Jess: 9:04

Absolutely. Yeah. And we're actually going to start off with the burning question for so many of us trans folks and the unfortunate topic of public discourse currently, which is where to go p. So, I do i know i just mentioned that I was on a plane earlier this year, which I was but I do a ton of domestic travel I do a lot of traveling in the car. And I mean either way, wherever you're going however you're going you may have to deal with going to pee but I'm a lot of times I'm thinking about it of like I'm driving on the highway and where am I going to stop? How am I going to make that decision. And I live in the south. So that is you know, it just really depends on where you are. We'll probably touch on that a little bit more later. But I found this resource which is really, really fantastic that I wanted to bring up and share with everyone listening, it is called refuge restrooms it is. And you can find it at refuge restrooms.org. It's an open source app. It is created by trans and gender nonconforming folks, I actually found out it's also available on iPhone and Android as an app. It started from another database that had a bunch of restrooms already in it. And then it also encourages users to add listings, and you just type in a city or even a specific address, and it'll give you a whole list of restrooms nearby. And then it gives you these little icons that are just super quick to see whether the restaurant or whether the restrooms, excuse me is gender neutral, which I'm assuming probably means it's single use in most cases. And also whether it's accessible, and even if it has a changing table, which if you happen to be traveling with a baby is really great to know. So it has a bunch of locations in the US and also actually international listings. So I am definitely I just recently found this and I am absolutely going to be using it going forward because I just I always am thinking about that when I travel.

Erica: 11:25

Yeah, I love that actually haven't had a chance to, to check this out yet just but I've heard of it. Where are you going to the bathroom on the on our road trip is really difficult consideration, right? Because even if you live in a blue area, like and I know like, there's like a pinpoint where you live jazz and then around it is not great. It can be really hard to leave the city limits or no matter what state in the Union you're in, unless maybe you're like way in the Northeast or in California, you got to drive through some rural areas, and there's always some concern.

Jess: 12:00

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, especially if you're, you know, going through a place you've never been before, and you may not have a spot. Or you're not near a Starbucks, which like, I know, we've mentioned before, a lot of times that Starbucks is always the gym for the restroom stop because Starbucks train. Yeah, they do the single use, and then you can get your peppermint mocha, perhaps. But yes. Right. While you're there. But, um, but yeah, it's so I'm just I'm really stoked about that. And I thought it was really cool that, that that app also has international listings. I mean, it just makes sense. Because it's just as you know, asking people to add to it, it had a bunch of listings in Europe and, and Australia, but there really were, there were dots all over the world. So super cool thing. And I love I mean, I just love to see when trans folks, you know, figure out how to just come together and do a project like that. So I was nerding out a little bit like checking out their GitHub, so just really cool.

Erica: 13:04

Give me some project and we'll get it done. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,

Jess: 13:08

I was looking. I was like, Oh, I I kind of know the stack. Okay. We'll see.

Erica: 13:13

So can I can ask you, you guys a question like, What is your? What's your general bathroom policy. Like, for me, I kind of play it by ear, depending on like, I'm talking like domestic travel at this point. So like, driving somewhere or flying, I always make like a plan. And if I'm going to be in the area where I think Uber could be dicey, then I may choose to go a little bit more non binary and dress. So I play it by ear. I know it's a place that safe that I'm always going to use ladies.

Rachel: 13:46

So I come in this with a lot of privilege, right? As a side gender, woman, right? I don't if I'm just traveling by myself. And actually I also sound a little raspy tonight because I wasn't that just traveling. And I live in the part of the country where everything is frozen and dead right now. And I went to a part of the country where everything is blooming. And so all of my seasonal allergies went. I thought we were done with this, though. That's my vocal Ernests right now. So as myself, I'm very lucky. And I hope that other side gender people who are listening realize how lucky you are to not have to think about this. But as a parent, this is something that is often thought about right I have two daughters and a son. And so then the policy is do absolutely everything that you can to find a single use restroom. Because if I'm solo and I'm traveling with the kids, right, there's a little bit of overlap there population where people will not go away. Why are you taking your son into the bathroom? And I'm going, Gal, have you ever seen a five year old trying to use the toilet? Like you need some help? Yeah, but if my spouse is in a situation where he needs to take our daughters into the bathroom, that's a challenge also. And so right like that strategy of single stall areas is super important. For like, when I'm coming at it for, for travel, but also, again, for anybody who's listening, recognize your privilege, if you don't have to be thinking about this every single minute of your life, because you're gonna use the toilet. I yeah,

Erica: 15:51

I think that's such a good point, Rachel, like, I've got kids that are adult now I still have one, that's a tween. And the bathroom situation, when you're an adult with with young kids still need some supervision. As always, it's always tough. So this is like an area where we all overlap a little bit like, what's the deal with bathrooms being such a problem for some people, right, so we should have right access, there should be more I know, the economics don't really make this work out. There shouldn't be more single occupancy bathrooms. Because not only do we have moms who need to take their sons to the bathrooms and dads who need to take their daughters to the bathroom and babies engage with people that also might need to be doing injections in the bathroom for various medical issues or, or if they are disabled, and they have, you know, some bathrooms that are easy for them. Like, this is a problem that impacts all of us. But when you're trans, then you also have to like what's safe for me. It's not just how convenient but like what's safe. And you know, I remember like having when I had, you know, having daughters like it was a real struggle, because like, take him into the men's room wasn't great. But going into the ladies was also not great. So that I mean, that's that's kind of like a universal problem. Like this whole thing needs some thought, and honestly should just be like, Oh, you're clearly in here using the bathroom. I don't need to be in your business. That should be the rule of the day. Exactly why it's not.

Jess: 17:20

Yeah, I agree. This is a big point of overlap. Yeah. 100%, especially for families. I saw recently a conversation about this online where from a, from a totally sis head perspective, somebody was saying, hey, my, you know, husband takes the kids into the ladies room, because a lot of times the men's room is, you know, not not clean enough to be, you know, wanting to take a really small child into and saying that most you know that this person's husband had never experienced a problem because they, you know, he would show up with the young kids and everyone understood what was going on. But yeah, it's that makes sense. I just, you know, like other trans and gender nonconforming people, this is definitely also a challenge for me even just Yeah, day to day being out in public. But obviously, like we said, before, you know, traveling has that extra layer of sometimes you're in a totally new place. I think it really just depends. I'm still on the single use, like, yes, 100% If there's a family restroom. Absolutely. Right now, I'm in the camp of where it I don't know, where I'm going to go until I get there and see the situation. Because I've actually started in some cases going into like a men's room. If there's not, you know, like if there is just a men's and women's option. Earlier this summer, I was actually at at a theme park in the south, I'll just go that far. And and there was a long line for the women's room. And it was like a lot of, you know, very sis hat presenting women with young girls waiting in this long line. And I was just like, I can't wait, I cannot wait in that line. Like there's no way that's not going to happen. So I just went in the men's room, didn't look at anybody didn't stop, you know, handled my business and left. But for me, it just really depends. I've had I've gotten flack in restrooms for a long time, many years. You know, and so it's it's just tricky. It's like it, you know, it's just always a little bit of a risk. So yes, love the single use. Yes, it is a little more complicated with a kid. I mean, now I go out with my kid who also you know, is like, presents very key ever. That's everyone's, you know, everyone's perspective. So that's That's like a kind of a double hit. And like, I don't know, maybe this will, you know, perhaps even taking him in with me might make it easier in the ladies room? Because we're just like, whatever there's a kid, it's kind of you get the kid past. But yes, it is definitely. It's definitely just something always to, to consider. And anyway, that's, that's why I love this, that this tool is that this resources out there. But But yeah, it's like the constant struggle of trans folks needing a place to pee.

Erica: 20:37

We just need to pay, we just need to pay. That's all it is. I gotta say, I, I've never had a problem in the bathroom. Like, I'm one of those fortunate few that have never like I get some books, but I get looks everywhere I go. So I'm just used to it at this point, right. But what's wild is that no one's ever said to me, I'll get a look whether it's the men's or the ladies, right? I can be no makeup. Just sort of like, we're in workout clothes. And the guys would be like, should you be in here? And the ladies would be like, should you be in here and I'm just like, I'm not focusing on you. I'm just going in the stall. So it's like you some of us get to a point where it's kind of like, there's gonna be issues one way or the other, eventually, you just kind of have to go with what it is. And I think if you just sort of keep your head down, get in there and get it done by people are too busy being like, thinking about who you are. And by that time you're gone.

Jess: 21:35

In and out. Yeah.

Rachel: 21:38

Right. And I would like with this piece of the conversation like I would also just say to my side gendered peers. What are you doing in the bathroom, or like Erica, to your point in the locker room. We all know why everybody is in the bathroom. Like just nobody wants to think about it. So just mind your own business and be a good introvert and ignore everybody around you. It's really not that typical

Jess: 22:12

and just wash your hands. You also do

Rachel: 22:15

that. Please, please, please, please wash your hands.

Erica: 22:18

And into all my sis sisters out there. You see me in line either say nothing, or make me feel welcome. Right be loud about making me feel welcome. So no one else will have the courage to say shit. True. Tell me how great I look.

Rachel: 22:38

And I've only ever seen you on Zoom. But your jewelry is always like just chef's kiss. Amazing. So I'm very envious.

Erica: 22:48

Oh, yeah, here's those earrings. Jensen I was talking

Jess: 22:50

about. I know she the end. You changed your glasses from earlier. This is Oh

Erica: 22:54

yeah, these are okay, so I wear glasses to read to see the computer their prescription. They're not they're not readers. And so these are the upstairs computer glasses because this is what I wear all day. The blue ones are the I'm leaving the house glasses because these are the expensive ones. I'm not losing them somewhere outside.

Jess: 23:12

Got it? Understood. purpose for every sense. Yeah. There you go upstairs,

Erica: 23:18

upstairs and out and downstairs classes. That's right. Nice.

Jess: 23:23

Well, I still still is a lovely color calm. But see, that's the thing about the rainbow earrings. Yeah, there's

Rachel: 23:29

pink leave, right? And they match your sweater.

Jess: 23:30

It just goes with everything. That's the beauty of the rainbow. It just goes with everything. Right? It goes

Erica: 23:36

with everything. It's meant for everybody. That's right. Okay.

Jess: 23:40

Um, so our next thing to chat about with travel is actually to travel in groups, if it's possible. You know, I mean, just in general, that's, I feel a little parental right now, because I'm like, just in general, that's a good safety tip. I also love traveling alone, personally. So I'm like, I'm gonna give this recommendation and say, I don't like to do this, because I love the feeling of traveling alone. It's very freeing. I did it a whole lot when I was younger, not so much now, but it's a lot of fun, but definitely is great, especially from a queer or trans perspective, to travel in groups, just you know, safety and numbers. And if you cannot, or don't want to travel in groups, I would also suggest finding, you know, if you notice other friendly looking folks, other progressive looking folks, you know, you see the you notice the t shirt or you know, maybe just, you know, just happen to notice that there are other like queer trans folks around you or you know, like I said, there's some some kind of political signals that have you feel a little more welcome, like, Hang close to those people. I went to the beach. This Fall and it was the first time that I went to a beach after having top surgery. So I was I was like, you know, spending a lot of time shirtless as, as people do after after a lot of trans mass folks, you after top surgery, it was like the summer off. Oh, yeah. And it was amazing and so wonderful to have that experience and be able to, you know, sunbathe and swim in the ocean and just be on the beach, without a shirt after, you know, feeling like I haven't been able to do that, since, you know, I was a little kid. But the I was in the south, and my wife and I have been actually in the last several years, going to a few different beaches in the south to to kind of try to find our find our beach. And queer friendliness is a very important part of that, where is our beach, that we're going to feel comfortable kind of, you know, going on vacation when we go to the beach a little more routinely, as as an idea, so we were there. And, you know, I was, I was hanging out really enjoying myself, but also very, very aware of everyone around me and kind of the vibe, because I was in South Carolina. And you know, just really wasn't sure, I mean, I always feel a little unsure just being really visibly queer in a potentially red area but but especially being shirtless with like some pretty fresh top surgery scars. I was a little nervous. And one day we happen to notice that there was a group of queer folks like a bigger group that definitely had at least a few queer folks in the group. And we kind of did the, you know, from a distance I like kind of walked by and did the, you know, Hey, what's up and got the Hey, what's up back, and we were like, Hey, let's just set up next to those people any days, and we're on the beach together, because I know that if we get some crap, like they're gonna, they're gonna be nearby. And that's gonna be better because I was with just my wife and kid and was definitely a little nervous of like, you know, not just if anybody says anything to me, but I feel a different layer of vulnerability and protectiveness with, you know, with my family there. My kid is really young and just don't want, obviously, from a safety perspective, but it's also just from a kind of emotional perspective. Like, I don't want him to have to see that, you know, do you want to protect him from that kind of hostility that I do sometimes encounter? I want to keep him as far away from that as possible. So I definitely was, you know, very much on the lookout, but for sure, it was like sticking close to that group. And I don't think that, I mean, I have never had anybody give me any sign of annoyance for that. Even if I'm a complete stranger, and I'm just like, I'm just gonna kind of be in your proximity. So Erica, have you ever experienced that?

Erica: 28:02

Yeah, yep. I love that. I think in some ways, we're kind of in the same boat. We are. We are a family that loves the beach will go internationally, but we also go domestically and we're still kind of looking for our beach that has like the vibe that we want part of that super queer friendly, right? Yeah, if I'm out somewhere, and I see a queer group of people, whether it's the beach or on a trip or something like that, I'm like, finding every way to make like a subtle height. What we need is like an official sign. Right? Maybe like, look, it's the flag. I don't know. Just like, I see you do you see me? You know, trying to get attention. But yeah, if if I feel unsafe, it's uncomfortable and I see noticeably weird group of people, I will just sort of like scoot up near them. Just because safety in numbers, right. And also just I think like, one of the things I love the most when I travel is just weirdness, seeing queer people seeing queer things seeing all of us around the world and I love being in your those groups of people, but it is reaffirming and reassuring. I do want to touch on something you said about the beach though. I used to I've always loved the beach, right. And I used to hate going to the beach number one because I turned into a lobster in like point five seconds without lots of sunscreen and covering up. So I've always covered up but even when I was at the pool or wasn't gonna be out in the sun long I really didn't like that having a shirt on made me feel uncomfortable. And it was when I went to the beach first time as myself in a bikini and I was like, Oh, this is why I didn't like that. I love being out in Katy. It's great. It's amazing. It's awesome. I will do it all day long. But if I have to like put on a swim shirt and look kind of like a guy I'm like oh So I just want to illustrate like this, that's sort of my version of like, shirts coming off that trans mask let's go through.

Jess: 30:09

Well, yeah, I mean, that's just another another variation of trans experiences. That is how your how you feel comfortable in your body, you know? And, yeah, yeah, I totally get that I actually, a couple of years ago, we had been to the beach. And this was really as I was kind of going through part of my, you know, trans awakening, I was like really, really, really craving wanting to be shirtless and trying to find a place to like, get myself in the like, shade tents, so that I could like take my top off and not be seen by anyone, not just because, you know, for like, multiple reasons of like, I just want I just really want to be practice is totally an alone experience. But I do want to have this experience. And, and that was obviously a big sign to me that I was like, and you want top surgery and to work on that. But that was just part of part of that process. Yeah. So I will say also, of all the beaches that we've looked at are all of all the beaches that we visited kind of recently, that last one that we went to where we saw the group of queer folks is one that we are probably going to go back to because that was actually the first time that we saw a group of queer folks at that beach. And I actually knew about the beach because I went there with a group of queer folks back when I was in college when some friends got married, like 20 years ago, so yeah, so

Erica: 31:44

tell us which beach this is eventually.

Jess: 31:48

Spot? Yeah, yeah, we might be really very curious. Yeah, no, we might have found isn't. I'll tell you it was um Edisto.

Unknown: 31:58

Oh, wow. Really? Yep. Edisto

Jess: 32:02

Island Yep. And we we are want to go to Foley to these are both outside of Charleston, South Carolina. Ish. Charleston ish. Edisto is kind of in between Charleston and Savannah. But yeah, we've we've been trying several up and down the South and North Carolina coast. And, you know, checking them out. There is another one that I believe is super queer friendly in North Carolina. Because I have some queer friends who vacation there on the regular. Um, it's a little further up. So it might even be a little easier for you, Erica, it is Carolina Beach.

Erica: 32:34

Oh, yeah, I've heard about Carolina Beach. Okay, so I just I are sort of vaguely from the same area. She knows like my my siblings. Right. So I'm going to reveal a little bit here. I've never been Desto. But I am very familiar with that. So I'm surprised because for those of you don't know, it is just an island of like beach houses. There's like nothing there. Right? There's like a restaurant. So that's kind of surprising. But maybe that's why I would say in the Charleston area. I'm more of a fan of Sullivan's Island. It's on the north side of Charleston. It's like the locals beach. And it's seems to be quite liberal and quite from the one word check it out.

Jess: 33:15

Hey, that. Yeah, I'm gonna put that on the list. Check it out. Yeah. No, never

Rachel: 33:21

have too many beaches. No, that are safe to go to. Right.

Jess: 33:26

No, they're I mean, no, no, no lack of beaches is needed. It's it's great to have a lot of options. And

Erica: 33:34

yeah, I will say something worth adding for those of you that are trans mask trans mask leaning and sort of wanting to see like, Would I like to be topless? It's quite common at international beaches. This as I think it'd be like, well, that's while I'm there. Let me try it. No one's gonna blink an eye and that might I don't know if that might help you sort of affirm like, Yeah, this is what I want.

Jess: 34:01

That's a really good point. Yes. The European culture differences. Another another advantage of?

Erica: 34:08

You'll even find that like in Mexico, like, not far from here. Totally. Nice. You don't have to go to Europe. Go to Mexico. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's it. That's all I got to say on that. No,

Jess: 34:22

very cool. Um, so a little bit more on domestic travel for just a minute. The speaking of the South, we were, you know, talking chatting a little about Southern beaches, and I have actually found that Charleston is a very welcoming city. In general. Of course, it depends on where you are. So like, wherever you go, it depends on where you are. Right? And who's around you in that space at any given time, obviously, but I just wanted to kind of shout out like, hey, the South is not all bad. The South gets a really bad rap. I feel like it's especially from people who don't live there. Sometimes people who have never been there, and it gets a, it gets a bad rap for an understandable reason. There are a lot of you know, there's a lot of conservatism in the South. There's a lot of even, you know, extremism in the south, but it really is all over. You know, conservative folks are all over the country, even right wing extremists really are all over the country. And so, you know, sometimes you will find pockets of the South, different cities, different neighborhoods that are really, really welcoming. What I found in myself personally, being someone who has been from the south and live here now is that people in the South will actually go out of their way to let you know that they are queer friendly, because I think it has that rap of not always be, you know, they'll like find a way I've had restaurant owners come to my table and start talking to me about their really good queer friends. You know, just because they thought me and my wife dining there something that happened to me in Charleston, you know, there are definitely some spots in where I live now. And in some other places in North Carolina, there are actually little stickers that go in shops or restaurants that say y'all means all. And so and it has like a heart. And if you see that sticker that's like that's, you know, it is kind of everyone is welcome thing, but it really is specifically LGBTQIA plus, you know, kind of call out there. And I've noticed that other cities have like similar stickers that are just, you know, it may be a different phrase or something. But there are different ways that kind of that communication is, is made. And then sometimes even if you think you're in a really progressive place, like kind of on the flip side of that, you still really have to watch yourself, I've actually run into some really rough situations in San Francisco, which is like, pretty much the most liberal, you know, city in the US by a lot of counts. And I also lived in the bay area for a long time, I had a lot of amazing times in San Francisco, but I actually have run across some pretty rough harassment there, too. And so you really, it really just depends. You always have to, you know, I think like Taryn would say, keep your head on the swivel, right? But, but I just wanted to kind of shout out the South for a minute that it's not, you know, it's not all bad. You just really have to be aware of yourself, and especially in the big city. There are generally neighborhoods, like specific neighborhoods that are Yes.

Erica: 37:44

So I would love to jump in on this one. So as also a southern girl, I grew up in Atlanta, Atlanta is one of the gayest cities in the United States. With any any area in the south, right, you have to understand that typically, the cities tend to be blue, and the rest of the state is red. It's not consistently like that. But typically, the cities are blue. And the more in the center of the city that you are, the more blue it gets. So if you're visiting Atlanta, like as you go towards the suburbs, and what is a huge city, it's a way bigger than you think it is. As you get towards the suburbs, you might run into more and more issues, but the city itself is good. And there's some really great queer neighborhoods. We all know Orlando is. I have friends in Tampa Bay that are trans and queer and love it same for Sarasota fall. We all know about Miami, right? Asheville, obviously, green, actually, Greenville, South Carolina is quite tolerant, because they have, because they have so many industries, international injuries, they're that people from all over the world that live there. And it's really kind of changed the city. It's a small city. So you got to stay inside a small area, but quite safe, honestly, Charleston called out is Nashville tends to be kind of safe. Like, again, it just depends on where you're going and what you're doing. And you can find those queer neighborhoods. But like, just you were just saying, everywhere you go, you know, particularly in the US, you're going to run into people that aren't into who you are. And they feel like they should tell you that. And that can be in New York City that can be in San Francisco, like you said, because there are people visiting, visiting those places from all over, or maybe they live there may come from a really conservative place. So if you have a bad experience in the city, it may just be the asshole that's visiting the city.

Jess: 39:37

Right under percent. Yeah,

Erica: 39:39

I would say I would bear. We've all seen like the heat map of places not to go. I would be less concerned about Southern cities than southern rural areas. Right? There's probably only two states in United States that I would never step foot in because it's basically illegal for me to be there. But the rest of the country like I'm gonna go. And with a little bit of research, you can find those places that are safe, you can connect with those groups. And, you know, usually those queer communities love to receive you in terms of like meeting you for a meal or something like that. And they can point you in the right direction travel. Do travel in the US. Yeah, absolutely.

Jess: 40:22

Yeah. Well, you call your your nogo. States Erica,

Erica: 40:27

Texas, and I have family in Texas. Right. And I think, what's the shoot, I can't remember there's one more. That's really bad. I'm starting to get concerned about Missouri. And unfortunately, I have family in Missouri. So I don't know how I'm gonna handle that. And next time we have to go. But yeah, particular Texas in particular is quite bad. Yeah. If I had to go had to go. I had to go. I would resist it pretty hard. I would find the safest way to do it. And that might be not going. It's Erica.

Jess: 41:06

Yep. 100% That was that was the state I thought of, but I just wanted to.

Erica: 41:10

Yeah, there's another one that'll come to me once we're done. Like, but I can't think of it off the top my head right now.

Rachel: 41:16

No, brains can be real asshole sometimes. The other thing that I am kind of thinking about where where I live, right, like I live, not that far from Minneapolis, is to also name that. As you have a different experience as a white queer person, versus being a queer person of color. Right, so Right, like as you're thinking about traveling, thinking about all those different intersections of how you show up in like, like Minneapolis. Every go and voice just go nuts. Um, fun and safe to visit? If you are a white queer person, not as fun and safe to visit if you are not, I mean, regardless of the queerness, right, like, if you're not white, it's Minneapolis is a rough place. Though, you feel like you weren't researching Right? Like thinking about that, too, is really important. Yeah,

Erica: 42:31

I've been once and I was sort of struck by even though there's, you know, quite a few, like ethnic restaurants around like, just how white that city is. Yeah,

Rachel: 42:41

yeah. Right. Well in it. This is an obviously an episode specifically about policing. But one thing, I think to look at for safety and traveling is where did the police in the city that you're visiting live before they come to work? Because if any Apalis almost none of those police actually live in Minneapolis. So like they can they can leave work. And that's a big deal, right? Like if if a law enforcement person has to deal with the fallout of their terrible behavior, because they live in the city where they are doing their job? Well, that's a different dynamic than if they could just hightail it out to suburbs. And not come in for a few days.

Jess: 43:44

Yeah, and I think that's a little bit of a theme too, because I don't know, I know of other cities where police don't don't live in the city. And it's also like what you said, yeah, it's, it's if they are able to go home, and it's not where they live. But yeah, it's also like, the aspect of policing your own community versus policing, a community that you feel is potentially separate is a different mindset. Right?

Erica: 44:10

I think there's something worth calling out here. You know, where Rachel was going is in kind of, like, we're just started, like, we really index on places not to go on the south. And really, if you look at a map, the US is sort of diagonally from Florida, up to just the other side of of Washington State, right. And, but if we really take a look outside of those areas there, there are some areas that are still quite tough, like the Northeast also has quite a bit of problems. It just doesn't get publicized quite as much, right. So no matter where you're going in the US, do your research, make sure that you are going to a queer friendly place and you have a plan and things aren't working out bail. It's not worth the money to stay in. You put yourself in an unsafe situation. Yeah,

Jess: 44:59

absolutely. It's absolutely important to trust your gut and all things, but especially personal safety. And while you're traveling, you know, you can always, like, get a snack down the road, or, you know, hopefully, or, you know, if you need to move along and go a few more exits down or something like that to, you know, really make that pitstop. It's worth it if that's, if you're getting that you're getting that tingly feeling that it's not, it's not okay. Or, you know, I kind of mentioned those, like, if you see progressive political signs, well, the flip side is, you know, you get off the freeway, and you see all of the, you know, you see a bunch of conservative signage, or, you know, folks wearing conservative merch, or you know, whatever, and you just have that feeling like, that's a that's a clue to, to maybe find a different spot, or make a little bit of a different plan, if at all possible. On the note of, you know, doing a little bit of research, where you're going as well, I have started to do, if we're going to if I'm going to a city that I don't, you know, I don't know. And I did this kind of recently, I went to Charlotte in the last couple of years and was trying to figure out where to stay, you know, and we'd like to stay in Airbnb. So I just said, there were tons of Airbnb is all over. And I just had no idea where to stay. And so I actually Googled, like, gay neighborhood, Charlotte, you know, to like, find, and then I was like, Okay, we'll stay in an Airbnb in this area, just in general. I've also found if, if that doesn't bring anything up, that in and of itself is a sign, like, if there is not, if there's not anyone online, that's talking about a gay neighborhood, that kind of tells you something that maybe there are not a lot of queer people or not, maybe not a lot of queer culture, in that specific city. But sometimes I even will just Google, you know, whatever the city name is, and like, gay bar, and yes, you know, obviously, this is, you know, this is a very trans centered show, but you're not gonna, you're not gonna be able to, like, necessarily type in, like trans bar. But, you know, a lot of times if you just type if it's like, Hey, Rob,

Erica: 47:10

when can we have trans bars,

Jess: 47:11

I know, we should do that. Good, be awesome. And unfortunately, all the lesbian bars are closed closing, there's that the death of the lesbian bar, that's, that would be a whole nother. Anyway, but yeah, that's another little trick. Because even if you don't, you know, want to drink, that can land you in a part of town, that will be more friendly. And at least let you know, you know, kind of, even if it's just, you're passing through a city, and you need to grab lunch, you know, if you have a choice of where to go, you know, try to find a queer neighborhood, and then find your lunch spot around there. Because a lot of times, that will end up being a friendlier lunch spot. I have also noticed that we'd like to stick close to like colleges and universities, as long as it's a bigger, like, if it's a public college, you know, and not, obviously, not a

Erica: 48:06

religious school, like the state university or something. Yeah.

Jess: 48:10

But, um, but yeah, that's, that, I've noticed that that is also just kind of tends to be Well, generally, generationally, folks are, I just think a bit more open minded, being younger, and a lot more. There are just a lot more, you know, openly identifying LGBTQ IA, folks in Gen Z, and, you know, younger generations in general, but just also a lot of times those, those universities are going to draw just more diversity. And so it's just going to be a friendlier spot. Yeah.

Erica: 48:46

Something I would add to that is, you know, obviously, like you said, if you're not getting hits, in terms of like, queer, friendly, gay friendly, or neighborhoods or restaurants or whatever, that's a red flag, or if what you're getting is raids and crime associated with him, that's a red flag, but I'd say it's also as as trans as a queer person, it's always good business to take yourself on a queer tour of where you're going, right? Those businesses, those people need your patronage. Not only are they gonna be friendly for you and look out for you, they need your income go there and and I would also say what are the tourist areas of the city? Right? If if the touristy areas of the city involve a whole lot of conservative stuff, avoid that. But if there's some cool touristy stuff, like look, I gotta say the almighty dollar wins the day. Right? Stick to touristy areas and you're probably going to do much better than if you're in areas you don't even know what's going on. Particularly international as well. Like if you are a person who loves to dive into the local culture, then that local culture had better be one you know her Sure is accepting of you.

Jess: 50:04

Yeah, that is that is solid, solid points of advice. I actually wanted to ask you, Erica, if you what what pointers you would add for international travel? Because I have not. It's been a long time since I've traveled internationally. And I know you recently went on a trip.

Erica: 50:19

Yeah. So since I transitioned, we have been on three, three international trips. So yeah, I just came back, I think weeks ago. Now, time dilation is still a problem for me from Egypt, we spent two weeks in Egypt trip of a lifetime for us, because we both were just fascinated with with with all that's going on with Egypt. And something we always wanted to see, we wanted to take our, our youngest at a time when they could remember it. Right. But also when we could take them out of school for two weeks. So that means getting older. And so in playing that trip, we have a lot of concerns. Because when you look into a country like Egypt, especially an Arab country, that's quite conservative, very typically not friendly to the LGBTQ community, right? laws in place. But the more I read up on it, the more read on blogs, there was already a lot of concerns about like, Well, honestly, if you're not addiction, you're you're not Arab, you should be leaving tourist areas anyways, because it's just generally not. And I kept finding enough information that led me to believe that if I went, I would be able to prioritize my safety by staying in those touristy areas. You know, at the end of the day, you have visitors from all over the world there. Right. So I went is kind of a little bit more non binary version of Erica, but also kind of on the aircon side. And I had a really interesting experience, where even if I wasn't wearing makeup or wearing, you know, traditionally, you know, I'm more of a fim person, I got gender correctly half the time, right, which was wild, I didn't expect that. And people didn't really care, they didn't notice. And I pulled up and had a conversation with our guides. So like Egypt's the one where you always want to go with a tour company, because it's just too many wheels need to be greased for you to do that on your own, it's gonna be a huge mess for you. And when he said to me, he's like, look, what you got to understand is, tourism is our one of our biggest and biggest industry industry. So like, that's one thing to look at internationally, if tourism is huge part of their income, you're probably going to do okay. Now, what he also said is like, look, you're not Egyptian, you're not Arab, we don't apply our culture to you. Because we know that's fruitless. We have people here from Asia, from Mexico, from Canada, from Russia, from France, from other parts of Africa, like, we don't have time to police that because we can take you all on tour and get your money. And so it was really kind of affirming, like they didn't care. Now, what you should know is like, if I had tried to seek out the Egyptian queer community or trans community, I would have been buying a whole lot of trouble for myself. Right? So there's there you need to know the line of that where you go, I wouldn't say while I was there, I saw quite a few family members, right. And even hilariously back to your beach story. I was in line to fly back from Luxor to Cairo sort of on the second half of our trip. And there was a translator in the airport in the same line to get on the same airplane as me. And I saw because I happened to turn around and talk to my partner. I was like, I think I know who that is. I didn't recognize her. But I was like, I think I know who that is back there. And then I caught her looking at me. And then she caught me looking at her. And it was like this whole because there's like 30 people in front of us and I didn't wanna be like, you don't want to do the airport. Yeah, like, WAG or like know, we got to come up with something because like, it's also not a situation where I could afford a pin. And also she couldn't see it from 30 people away anyways. And so we were both pretty sure about each other, but we didn't really have a chance to interact. So I have been on the plane first. So when she came by me, she just looked me dead in the eye. And she was like, welcome to Cairo. And then like a little tap on my shoulder and have gone. And so when we got off the plane and we were in baggage, once I got my luggage, she got hers, we actually pulled up and chatted for a couple of seconds and just sort of like it's amazing. And it was weird. I actually wound up seeing her at the Sphinx a week before and didn't realize it was her when she saw me. Like, and I saw like, again, there's quite a few queer people there a bit just because everybody wants to go now. Not every country is like Egypt. So if you're going to travel internationally, you probably don't do well in first world countries in general. Right? very cosmopolitan, very used to people from all over the place. It's going to be fine. You're always going to do well in tourist areas. If you're in developing countries, you've got to do your research, really understand the law. local laws, you're more likely to run into trouble if you engage with the local peer community, if that is an if they have an illegal status, right? Avoid it. Just for your own safety, but at the end of the day, if you're from America and you're spending your dollars, you're gonna be fine. But the research is pretty easy to do. Right? So I think the other thing to pivot to here is, oh, also just check with your friends. There are quite a few people in the queer community and travel like, Do you have any money or anybody in your network who's been to I don't know, Iceland. And you can usually find that find out how how safe it is. Iceland is also very great, by the way for our community. But then I would say, and then I would say, if you're going to, this is a particular tip, if you're going to an Arabic country, somewhere in the Middle East, your documentation is going to drive some uncomfort trouble for this for you potentially. Right. So my passport has my legal Erica, my legal name on it. Because passports in the US allow you to choose what your gender is it says female, right, even though my birth certificate does it, my license does as well, because that's how my state works. And so when I was in line, like everywhere there you get frisks no matter what everybody gets risk, even if you go you go through metal detector, you get for us usually get breast twice in the airport. And what I discovered is like having the app on my passport, the guys would be like, Well, you go to the lady in the line, because in Arab countries, women don't touch men, and vice versa. Right. So what I discovered, the first time this happened was the Arab lady in front of me was like, I'm not sure what to do with you, because it could be bad if I touched you. But should I. And I was really confused. Unfortunately, my tour guide like smooth that over. And so what I learned as I went through those airports to be like really encouraging to her, because there was no way to avoid what my passport said at that point, no matter how I dressed. So I tried to like fit it up for those situations. So your paperwork is going to drive a lot of your experience, particularly in airports, which other airports are probably fine. But if your documentation says, your old gender on there, you're going to be stuck with dealing with that everywhere you go. Right. So if you have the wherewithal to change that, do it, it's gonna make your life easier, I would say the most important thing to get is your passport, because you can choose your gender, on that passport, regardless of what your state says, regardless of what's on your driver's license, right. And then you can use that everywhere, even in the States, right? So it kind of helps set the bar. Another thing I would say, for those of you that fly a lot in the United States and out is if you're in the US get precheck, right, get TSA PreCheck. I did that until like eight years ago, because I was traveling a lot and just makes your life easier, because you don't go through the all the same level of performance of security that we have. But with precheck it's really friendly to trans people not because they set it out that way, because the bar is so much lower, it's actually like they are like you have a pulse, you have pre check the governor who's your go through, right. So if you can afford precheck, it's usually like five years might be like$100, it's a little bit of a pain to get but much more than an afternoon and make your life so much easier traveling especially as trans. And they have almost nowhere do you have to go through the scanning machines that like really flag you because the ginger doesn't match what the machine wants, because you're just going through a metal detector. So get precheck if you have the money to afford the global version of that. That's awesome. I haven't done that yet. Because that's a couple of $100. And I need to travel more than once a year for that. But that also just sort of makes the whole process so much easier. I think I think that's about it. Do your research. Make sure your documentation that you have control over has the name and gender you want. If you don't you're going to be forced to deal with that in the airport. And there is no way around that. Right. But with international travel, you are an American, you do have the almighty dollar behind your back you have a far more leeway than you want. Just make safe choices.

Jess: 59:19

That is very solid advice. Yeah, I've heard about I've heard the recommendation of precheck from everyone who has it. So

Erica: 59:27

that's that's the obstacle shoes off. Don't take your belt off. Don't have to like you just put your your backpack on the thing. You don't take anything out. It's fine. Now I will say with pre check. If you're in a really really busy airport, they might be like sorry for checks not open today and you got to deal but most of the time, it works out in your favor.

Jess: 59:49

That's good to know.

Rachel: 59:51

Erica, can I ask you a question on all your amazing advice that you just gave? Yep. Um, so But for our twin siblings who do want to travel internationally, but don't have the ability or capacity to change their gender on their passport, if you're going to like a conversation with your therapist, like, what would? What would kind of like an opening question for that look like so that you could like, kind of mentally talk yourself through that if you needed to talk yourself through it, to prepare

Erica: 1:00:29

yourself for the situation? So let's say yes, my passport, I hadn't done a legal name change, because that's their requirement. And so security change, right? Yeah, those are the two requirements, get your passport. And so of course, in some states, it's much harder to do with the state, that mandate was easy as pie. I would say, know what you're in for. Um, and understand that and work this through with your therapist, if you need to game it out, like dress for the gender as much as you feel comfortable honestly, like aiming for non sort of a non binary look, we'll probably serve either way, because then people can kind of make up their own minds. But then remember that the airport is really impersonal. It's not about you, your, your, your cattle, they're trying to get through there. And they're just doing what the things tell them. Certainly, there are bad actors that are probably getting more of a feeling than they should, but most people are just trying to like they're not getting paid a lot of money. Just try to get through the day. So work with your therapists, or whoever you need to game this out with, like, what's my strategy? The reality is I'm going to be standing in line with a bunch of people, I'm going to have to interact with these people for maybe 30 seconds less I get pulled out. If you get pulled out for a search, it probably has far more to do with the random search code on your card than being trans. Honestly. Not downplaying the experiences that people have had. But having traveled a bunch and having been flagged a lot, before I was trans for no noticeable reason. Like there's codes on your on your on your boarding ticket that will let you know like you're highly likely to get pulled aside for random search, it's probably not because you're trans because you got bad luck. So just be prepared to just get through that day. Whatever you need to do. But for those of our siblings that really struggle with being misgendered that really I don't, I don't. So it's not that hard for me. For those that do. You need to find ways to help yourself, get through that to do some self care maybe before and after the process. But honestly, like, just get through it as fast as you can, with making the least amount of fuss possible, because that will make it go all the faster. But you need to prepare for the fact that that's the way it is. And ultimately, just try to remember that these people don't really care who you are. They're not targeting you. They're trying to get you through the door.

Jess: 1:02:53

Yeah, they're just trying to get they're just trying to get through and get to their break. Go home. And yeah,

Erica: 1:02:58

yeah, because they, you know, they 1000s of people come through an hour and I know it can feel like you've been singled out. And honestly, it's probably not the case. But you feel that way because you already are a marginalized community.

Jess: 1:03:14

Yeah, absolutely. And you mentioned dress, and like I even when I'm traveling domestically, especially if I am, you know, driving in the south and going through a rougher area, I will also I will often just I mean, I'll just wear like gray or black and something kind of big and kind of just try to disappear myself a little bit, you know, like, throw on the good old, like, dysphoria hoodie or whatnot. And like, you know, and just work on, you know, work on a little bit of just trying to blend blend into the crowd a little bit more, just to be able to feel a little extra layer of safety and I think that possibly can apply for the you know, for the airport to I jet I personally like to be as comfortable as I'm willing to be flying anyway. Because I don't really like the you know, it's just like the plane and all the you don't have a lot of space in there, it gets uncomfortable. There are a lot of things about travel that I really love, but like the tiny amount of space you have in your seat in your plane is not one of those things so to where like, you know, as as gentle with myself as possible.

Erica: 1:04:26

Definitely err on the side of comfort for travel, especially for air travel because it is so uncomfortable having non restrictive clothes, dress in ways that will help you feel affirmed in your gender. I will say as someone who's been on HRT for two years, like if I get pressed, there are certain things that there are two things that can't be hidden. So even if I look like a guy, there's gonna be a bra under here because I cannot wear one at this point. So there are some things that are there just the way they are. And you just I have to make strategies to get, you just just gotta get through, just gotta get through it. It's part of travel, no matter, no matter whether you are SIS or trans traveling via the airport, docks. And the rest of the trip doesn't have to suck, because you just have to get through that, those few moments. Dress to get through. And if you feel like as a trans woman, you need to signal some feminists go for it, but also realize that you need to be comfortable. And you know, same as a trans mask person, like go for what you want to do. But I guess I would say, Do understand the laws and your state like you're flying into Texas. I don't know if I would ever find the Texas because like, I have no means of escape. Right? I'm in my car, at least I can turn around.

Jess: 1:05:49

Whenever I've driven through Texas, I've always had a no stopping policy personally and that. But I'm usually driving on 40 through the through the Oh, yeah. So that's possible. I mean, if you're driving on 20 or if you're the I mean, Texas is big. So you know, if you're really driving across it, you're gonna have to stop. You're

Erica: 1:06:08

gonna have to stop i Sorry, little anecdote we I, like I said, had family in Texas. So we used to go out there every summer just to drive from Atlanta to Texas every summer in this whole second day with mostly Texas. Yep. Yeah. It's big. So just take care of yourself. Do your research before you go dress for comfort, know that the scanner probably isn't really out to get you. But yes, there are plenty of examples of people having issues with it. Just try to get through the best you can. The people on either side really aren't trying to target you. They're just dealing with whatever the machine says. But then do pre check.

Jess: 1:06:47

The pre check solid words of advice.

Rachel: 1:06:51

And I'll throw that out if you have kids to assist the parents pre check the kids don't need it. And then you don't have to mess with the shoes.

Erica: 1:07:00

I think it's like, is it 16 They can go through without needing pre check of their own or something. No, no, maybe it's it might be 12

Rachel: 1:07:11

But it's great. I know as I'm always away.

Erica: 1:07:14

Great little kids you just breeze through man. It's so easy,

Rachel: 1:07:19

though, just for that cross section of our audience also if you're traveling with little kids, it's worth the money. Yeah, the airport.

Jess: 1:07:26

Recheck, recheck, yeah, I felt like I gotta put that on my to do list. No. But yeah. Nice. Nice. All right. I think we're gonna start to wrap it up here. Thank you both for joining me for this episode. This has been really fun to talk about trans on the go. And different travel tips I wanted to before we close out. Do you all want to mention where you can be found? If you want to be found that is? Social handles and whatnot?

Rachel: 1:08:02

younger person? Well, sure. Um, so if you're not looking for me here, you can also have kind of a project addict. And he will provide everything that I'm working on at link period T. No, I did it wrong. I'm gonna start again. Link T R period E. Backslash Rachel Hansen.

Erica: 1:08:34

All right. You can find me on Instagram and threads as Erica dot Barraca and that America is FA R ICA. You can find me on LinkedIn. Eric Vogel, Erica M. Vogel, there's a couple of Erica Vogel's out there. So throw that in there. And I have website Oh Erica so oh h e r i c.com

Jess: 1:09:02

Awesome. Thank you both for that. And so I'll share mine too. I'm I'm on LinkedIn as Jess Bradley. I don't know if there any other Jess Bradley's on there but my pronouns are they them and it's pretty obvious when you see my profile. It's me and it just looks like on a profile. Exactly. I am also on threads as Jess underscored does underscore life and that's l YFE. Life So that's been really fun that that app has been enjoyable recently a really fun that community. And I'm also have an organization that I founded about almost a year ago called making baby that can be found at making gayby.com That's ma KINGGAYBY dot com. I think I spelled that right. I think I did that. And I'm mentioning that one too, because I actually have been working for several months now on a project that I'm going to be launching just after the new year there, I'm going to be launching a couple of online courses. That organization is for LGBTQIA, specifically, you know, calling out queer and trans parents and prospective parents. I have the most information out there right now for prospective parents. And the courses that I'm going to be launching are both, there's going to be two different queer family building courses. And then once I get those launched, I'm going to start to try to crank out some more content that is for people who already are parents, a little bit more actual parenting content. But that's been a really fun project of mine recently, and has has been something that's taken up taking up a lot of nights and weekends. And I'm very excited to get it out the door pretty soon after the new year. So I will be talking about that on my socials coming up more.

Erica: 1:11:04

So love that, too. This chipset is

Rachel: 1:11:07

beautiful. Sorry. I've just I've looked at it right now. And I know it's lovely.

Jess: 1:11:14

Well, thank you.

Erica: 1:11:15

Yeah. Two comments. One of them is for Vanessa, who's in the back row, she will be adding this at least if she's not listening right now. Like, we should probably think about publishing a list of places that are queer friendly, on our website, places to go that we know and resources just to make it easier for people to bank.

Vanessa: 1:11:33

Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Yeah.

Erica: 1:11:36

And then comment number two just is that Jabba the Hutt over your right or left shoulder there. It is Chewbacca.

Jess: 1:11:43

Yes. Chewbacca. Can you see the

Erica: 1:11:47

thunder? Is that is that? Is that? Orlando really hard.

Jess: 1:11:53

It's really hard to see it. Maybe it's hard to see my guess is Lando. It's it's

Rachel: 1:11:59

Oh, there he is. There he is. Okay, yeah,

Jess: 1:12:02

these are these are original. By the way, this is not any kind of new action figure this straight out of the 80s.

Erica: 1:12:10

Sweet, huge Star Wars nerd and a longtime fan of boba not just from the recent series. Is that Yoda next that you bought in kantele?

Jess: 1:12:20

No, no, that switches. Those are some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Erica: 1:12:24

Oh, okay. Yeah,

Jess: 1:12:26

yeah, switching shows there. But yeah, I yeah, I love these old toys I've got I broke out just a few for my kid to play with. And it is he's been very entertained. So yeah, good stuff.

Erica: 1:12:38

Yeah. So I've been trying to listen to you talk and then staring at Java in the background. So it's been difficult. i

Jess: 1:12:42

Okay. Yeah. Well, I thought about blurring the background. But yeah, no.

Rachel: 1:12:49

No, although I've been doing the same thing. So I'm glad to be in good company. Like I'm a fan. I love the Star Wars.

Jess: 1:12:57

Oh, yes. I'm a huge, huge Star Wars fan. I'm concerned. We always do some kind of binge in the winter. And we are considering rewatching and or that was good, or our winter binge. Yeah. So. So yeah, that's it. You still have to chat about it. We also have there's some other things that we've you know, only watch through once like Mandalorian and Oh.

Erica: 1:13:23

So we've done mando twice. We're definitely looking for the next sport to the next season. I haven't watched boba more than once or Mandor or Andover once, but I probably will.

Jess: 1:13:35

Yeah, yeah, endorses. I love that one so much. It's a big, big favorite of mine.

Erica: 1:13:41

I grew up making. I know, this is a huge segue from what we were talking about. But I grew up watching Star Wars models as a as a little kid. And making like little scenes from Star Wars and like aging my models, they look like they had been like shot with laser bolts and filming them being blown up. Like I wanted to be like a Star Wars modelmaker when I grew up, that is not what I do. But that's what I wanted to be.

Jess: 1:14:06

And you never know late pivot.

Erica: 1:14:10

I really make all that stuff digitally. And I am a retired digital artist, I suppose. I'm not looking to start over.

Jess: 1:14:18

That sounds like a lot of fun though. Just yeah, yeah. Star Wars was also a huge part of my childhood. Very happy to say it's, it's still a huge part of my life. I love it all about it. Right?

Erica: 1:14:32

Yes. On the other side of Alright, so I'm gonna break one more thing down so if you're trans particularly a trans femme, you're hopefully know about the whole Hodge thing. The shark from IKEA. I am not a blush girl. But behind this screen, I have a bill Hodge sighs Bantha from staff to Bantha on my bed from Star Wars so that her name is mellow. She stays on my bed. Wow.

Jess: 1:15:02

that's classy. It is classy.

Erica: 1:15:04

Yeah. That's the level horns. She's very fluffy like she's great. And soft

Jess: 1:15:09

too. Yeah. Oh,

Rachel: 1:15:11

this just makes me heart so happy.

Jess: 1:15:15

We could probably I'm sure we could do a whole Star Wars Episode. Hey, there's an idea.

Erica: 1:15:19

Oh, yes, yes. And then I can bring in my my partner's like, almost left side stuff Gregor that she has.

Jess: 1:15:26

Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a whole thing. Yeah, just love we could we could do a whole nother hour on that but we'll have to wrap it up anyway but All right. Well thank you everyone who is watching and listening for joining us for this episode. Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe. You can find this podcast on YouTube, Spotify, Apple podcasts and Buzzsprout. You can also access our audio files and YouTube video directly at our site at transcending humanity.com where we have links to become a patron as well which is a great way to support the show. So thank you again. Y'all have a lovely night and we will catch you next time. Bye!