Hypnotherapy for the Soul

Transforming Lonliness Into Inner Peace

Shea & Stella Season 1 Episode 8

What if loneliness wasn't just about being alone, but about a deeper spiritual disconnect? Join us on Hypnotherapy for the Soul as we uncover the profound reasons behind loneliness through the wisdom of Stella's higher self. Discover why being surrounded by others often fails to alleviate feelings of isolation and learn how embodying a persona rather than one's true self can exacerbate these feelings. We dive into the importance of fostering authentic connections with oneself, our hobbies, and the environment, emphasizing our inherent energetic bonds with everything around us. Gain valuable insights into the role of vulnerability and authenticity in overcoming loneliness and enhancing our relationships.

In this episode, we also tackle the intricate relationship between fear and isolation, offering strategies to transform how we perceive and handle fear. Learn about a powerful mini-ritual for self-connection that involves meditation and journaling, helping you to embrace solitude and find contentment within. We discuss the delicate balance between self-sufficiency and nurturing supportive relationships, ultimately guiding you to see everyone as an extension of yourself and choosing connections based on love and expansion. Tune in to enrich your understanding of loneliness and discover practical methods to cultivate inner and outer connections, creating a life filled with genuine, supportive relationships.

Speaker 1:

welcome to our podcast. Hypnotherapy for the soul.

Speaker 2:

This is your host, shea pestle, and this is my co-host where we explore the power of hypnosis and connect to inner wisdom.

Speaker 1:

For answers through our episodes, we share behind the scenes live sessions to help you tap into your inner guidance.

Speaker 2:

Join us on this journey of self-discovery and utilize the power of hypnosis to connect to your higher self.

Speaker 1:

In this episode, we are going to be discussing all about loneliness and what this means from a spiritual perspective, from Varchie or Stella's higher self.

Speaker 1:

She will be giving us insights as to what this experience entails. So if you suffer from loneliness, like many of us, this is a great episode for you, as this will be a unique insight into what this experience really is about from a higher perspective, as I will be interviewing Stella's higher self in this episode. What you won't hear is me getting her into this deep hypnotic state so that we can extract this information from a higher consciousness in the delta and theta wave frequency. And just a reminder, this is not just unique to either of us. Everyone has this access, because we are all spirit. First, we are all connected to the higher realms of consciousness, and this wisdom is innate in all of us. So have an open mind right, keep what resonates with you and leave the rest behind. And now, without further ado, let's jump into the next episode. I'd just like to invite your higher self to speak through Barshi in this moment of time, please, and when you're here, just say here.

Speaker 2:

Here.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for being with us today. Just got some questions about limiting beliefs and an idea that someone might have of just feeling and being alone, and so the first question in regards to this is why do I or someone constantly feel a sense of loneliness, even when I am surrounded by people?

Speaker 2:

Usually a sense of loneliness comes from lacking connection and feeling misunderstood. That can also. That can be for various reasons and one of them is not willing to share vulnerably who you are because it might not have been saved at some point in time. So now there is this different persona that took place. So it's almost like, if that is in society, this feeling of being disconnected because you're not sharing your true self, or at least who you would like to be, but you're sharing who you think you should be. And then this creates this disconnect with the environment, because you can, you're kind of giving the energy into something, into obtaining an idea that it's not sustainable and it's preventing you to feel fully connected with the environment. And I can just give analogy like, for example, as if a bird would fell in the sea and would pretend that it's a fish but in reality it's not a fish. So it would feel kind of lonely there and just not able to connect with anyone. That's how our mind makes it mean that we are separate, even though we are not.

Speaker 1:

Okay, it makes sense. And how can someone overcome the fear of being alone and find comfort in their own company?

Speaker 2:

so basically, you're never really alone, even though it might seem so, because in the 3d plane our body separated from other bodies and that's all there is. Otherwise, energetically we are connected to everything. And if you are focusing solely on your body, you can just perpetuate that belief. And instead of focusing on the feeling of connection and it can be with simple things, things that you love, and it can be a connection to your hobby, or maybe connection to the environment where you live, maybe your apartment or and then maybe your pets or you know and through that you can extend, you can just be you and even feel that it's safe and also explore, yeah, just how it is to be in your own energy. That's one thing, but also I would still say that it's important to focus on feeling connected and not thinking that one has to be connected to a particular outside, for example, or to a particular person, animal, but just have connection.

Speaker 2:

So just pure desire or pure intention to have connection actually can surpass that belief that you're isolated or you're alone, because in reality you're not. You're with yourself, and even that is connection to your soul, and then through that connection you're actually. The more you feel connected to yourself, the more you feel connected to others. And that's kind of paradox maybe for your mind, because it feels it sees everything from a 3D perspective, where there is a lot of separation. But if you kind of tend to your connection to your heart, to your soul, then you feel how everything, just kind of this love that you feel inside of you, that actually resides in you, can um manifest outside and the world will feel different.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's just, there can be no other way and it's a lot of sense from what I'm gathering. Basically, it's a reflection of your own inner world.

Speaker 2:

Correct, yes, exactly.

Speaker 1:

So if someone feels unsupported by others, would it be safe to say that they just don't support themselves?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, to a degree. Yes, Because so one way of looking at it is they might not express all the needs that they have and by not expressing their needs for various different reasons, and usually it's just fear fear of either rejection or, yeah, just fear of not being connected, fear of losing love or whatever that is. So when they are in that, when they don't express what they need, it feels like the world can't provide. So it's kind of always two-way street. It's great that one acts on what they need themselves as well, but also know that you know we are all co-creating this reality, so one person cannot build the entire city. It's just impossible. We need everyone.

Speaker 2:

So it's all about being in the flow and also allowing oneself to receive help or support, love, whatever that is, and then act from that. Usually that's that's the biggest hurdle of someone feeling unsupported. And if there is really, if they are asking, and if there is no support, so there can be also another issue or obstacle can be that the way they are asking, maybe there has there needs to be a change in communication style so that it's more permissive instead of demanding. And obviously I'm just giving an example here. And the last thing let me just get back to that one.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

So the last thing is, if their needs aren't met and their valid needs, and you know their communication is fine, everything works on their end so then they're just not asking the right person.

Speaker 2:

So it's you know. Again, going back to that theme that I said in the beginning, if we want something, it's important that we are not fixated in what shape or form we get that. So, for example, if I want help or if I want love, so that I'm not saying, okay, I just want love from this part and just tune out all the rest, because that's very narrow, I mean we just almost like shoot ourselves in the foot because we don't allow ourselves to accept so much more. So I would say be in the flow, recognize who are people that can support you. If that's the case, if someone is consistently giving you I guess showing up that they can't support you, then just believe that and move on and find support elsewhere, instead of demanding from a single person to give you that, because they might not be able to and for the reasons we don't know and they're usually not personal definitely, and so, going into what you were just talking about, what if you have this feeling that no one understands your innermost thoughts and desires?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's very common, especially for people who were growing up. They couldn't express themselves, they were silenced or it wasn't safe for them to express because their parents didn't allow them to be themselves. So maybe they even had to manage their parents' emotions. So for these people it doesn't feel safe to just express themselves and they might feel that something is wrong with them just on fundamental level, just because of upbringing. And these feelings of being alone and no one understands me. They're very common and I would say it's really important or something that can be, if it's possible, can be done is really reaching out for help, because maybe even having a therapist if having a friend is not like sharing certain things with a friend is not safe, or but really reaching out and having that support of a therapist because having someone that is just so, in a way, so objective, but also really wants the best for you, with no agenda behind it, can be very healing because a person can learn how to be received and just accepted as they are and, yeah, that can really lead to switching this.

Speaker 2:

That's a limiting belief. Every time we feel like we are separated, we don't't feel we belong, is either we are not at the right place or we are not showing who we are, but it's something has to change, because that's a place where we are stuck and it's not a place that we would like to be, and this is not a place where our soul can thrive. So that's a good indicator that we need to do something about it. Yeah, and move on, or move. Yeah, just deal with this one okay, and what would you say?

Speaker 1:

are some self-sabotaging behaviors or thought patterns that contribute to the sense of isolation?

Speaker 2:

I guess some of those are, let's say, people aren't safe. I can't trust people, and this again, a lot of these things stemmed from childhood, because either people were constantly proving that they couldn't be trusted, they were abusive in in different forms. So I guess I would say trust is really really a big one, and and then we trust comes ability. The more we trust and not even trust others but trust ourselves, we can be more, we can be vulnerable and it's important to know that.

Speaker 2:

No matter if outside world, if there is a person that breaks your trust or, yeah, just you find hurts you in some way, you know that you have yourself, that that you now have yourself, and when you are a child you need it outside people for emotional regulation, but now you have yourself and you are an adult and you can do that. So even though one part of you feels like that's so scary, there is a part of you who has your back and you can totally trust it. What you might need to do is just, yeah, just be aware of, reacquaint yourself with all the tools that are available to regulate yourself, because the chances are you'll probably survive Like you have survived everything that has happened to you so far, and you're super adaptable as a human being, so chances are that you will survive all the things that you might fear.

Speaker 1:

Definitely, and how can someone navigate or overcome the fear of rejection or abandonment that often accompanies the feeling of being alone, of rejection or abandonment that often accompanies the feeling of being alone, allowing to feel it.

Speaker 2:

Because when you try to push away that fear, I would invite someone to actually sometimes not for everyone, but for some people what can be useful is they can imagine how would it look like if they were rejected in a certain situation and really live that Like, just experience it and then breathe through it and see that you know they're still alive. And if they allow that to happen, instead of fighting that energy, if they really allow it, like what is the worst thing that can happen and sometimes, or oftentimes, what can happen, if they really allow it, like what is the worst thing that can happen and sometimes, or oftentimes, what can happen, if they really allow that they can sense this sense of freedom or they can feel this detachment and just know that they've never had any control over any matter anyway. So why, you know why, fussing about it or why putting so much fear around it instead of focusing on what do I want? And if that is, for example, I want joy, and if something comes up and you know we are, we get rejected. What we can, obviously, you know, again, allow the sadness and all of that, but also know that maybe it was just because it wasn't in alignment with what you wanted in the first place and that was just for you to have either discernment or maybe just learn how to focus more on or be in your own energy more and be in alignment.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because I mean fear will always be there. It will never disappear. It's really your relationship to that fear. So how you want to deal with it, that's up to you. And this is actually where your power lies. You can acknowledge fear, as I said, acknowledge it. You can listen to it and then you say, all right, let's's go for it and I might as well enjoy it. You know, the worst can happen is what my fears tells me, but what is the best thing? And then just focusing on that and acting anyway, because the worst thing that actually can happen is if fear holds you in its grip and you kind of are not moving and and that's where your life force cannot really flow, and then you become stuck and a lot of actually kind of usually that perpetuates this vicious circle and you don't want that. Have awareness. So, yeah, I hope I answered this one. Maybe I was just going off, no definitely.

Speaker 1:

And is there anything else? Just on breaking this illusion of isolation and the feeling of that, anything else that you might have not touched on?

Speaker 2:

it's such a big subject, but I would say, as with everything, just, you don't have to run from that. If you feel I feel isolated, I don't feel connected, acknowledge that first. Yeah, you don't have to run away from it. And then find parts of you that are connected to something, whatever that is, and that, those parts that feel good, and then follow the path like what are those parts that make you feel connected? Because there is no way that you feel disconnected all the time. There must, there must be times where you do feel connected, and then search for those, build on those, expand those and I'm speaking a lot about 3d reality today, because we are in this 3d reality from the higher perspective.

Speaker 2:

When you go and meditate, you have this feeling of connection, but often what comes up for people is when, let's say, they meditate and then they come in their bodies and they feel like, oh, I don't like the way things are, I don't feel connected to this world, which is valid because of all the obstacles that we have and this illusion of separation and because people live in fear, and then they just basically think of themselves. A lot of people think of themselves more from not from abundance stance, but from lack mentality and then choices are made from lack mentality and that results in other people feeling, oh you know, and it's just, we can just go down that rabbit hole. But it's really important where you focus your energy, and it's not to discard what is, but what you want to create more of, because that's where your focus is. But what you want to create more of, because that's where your focus is, is where your energy flows and your energy is so powerful. It's your biggest asset.

Speaker 2:

So pay attention where you put your focus to and if you want to feel more connected, honestly you can just start observing your life, seeing where do you feel connected, and then do more of that, cultivate that, expand on those things and if that's, if you know you don't have enough of that, find ways to do more of that.

Speaker 2:

Ask for help, as you can even just ask universe or just say a prayer, if that's your thing. But be intentional, like set intention. Yeah, because this physical plane is not to escape but to create things and also create momentum that other people can then snap out of that fear and really start creating from this place of abundance, from place of creation, because we need to go, we need to come to that place, because then things will roll way, you know way, different way than they do now, and then things will actually feel abundant and expansive and people might feel more joy and feel more naturally more supported. But yeah, it starts really with you and instead of you know, seeing, oh, what is not there, seeing what is there and how can I contribute more to lifestyle that I want to live and create?

Speaker 1:

Very cool. Thank you All right. Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Speaker 2:

Just a final exercise that one can take. If they want to, they can have, for example, when you go and meditate, or you can actually light a candle. You can light a candle and then stare in the candle and just feel this light and then allow this light to enter your heart, and what you can do is then start journaling and have conversation with your heart. If that feels right for you, you can then have conversation with your heart and just ask your heart all these questions and this way you will feel more connected to yourself and your heart. Yeah, and then, after you're done, just blow out the light and that's it. So it's a really cool, simple mini ritual that you can, yeah, just practice maybe five, ten minutes a day for next two weeks and see how it goes I love it.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much. I just have my own personal question or statement. So, like, my idea of being alone doesn't necessarily have to mean that I'm lonely and if one can get comfortable, so much so being alone and enjoying that space, would you say that could be a definition of success. And it could also mean that, like you, will no longer have limiting relationships where it depends on codependency and all that stuff. Is that like one of the like themes we experience here on this planet, based on the other perception that we're separate and if we can really just enjoy ourselves fully being alone without anyone, is that not like successful?

Speaker 2:

okay. So the way this planet works is one can't really function by themselves because we need other people. But in, that's fine, we don't have to be. It's not about hyper individualism or something like that. It's not that or being isolated and self-sufficient, but it's really about understanding that you are enough and you don't need others to be. But what you do need is you need to have discernment. Which are the people that can create together with you, so that your creation, whatever you're putting here for, or whatever you want to create, that they can help you expand that, and so this is a little bit so the way, the way how everything is formed now is people have families and then they get attached to their family.

Speaker 2:

Family is their source of safety and even for so many people, family like birth family. It might not be the most beneficial source in terms of emotional and just mental, spiritual nourishment, but they cling to it because that they feel like, okay, I need to have my bond to my family because otherwise I won't survive. I need to have my bond to my family because otherwise I won't survive and family is important. I'm not saying that it's not, but if a person, like a human being, can kind of lift themselves or see another perspective, higher perspective, and see everyone like if we see everyone as part of ourselves, everyone like if we see everyone as part of ourselves. We know that, for example, if I am my right hand and let's say, my index finger on the right hand, I know that I will hang out with other four fingers and I don't necessarily need my toes. And what I mean by that is, if a person is really centered, they know that they're part of everything. They can even trust that all the people that are in their world are there to support them, and that can be family or it cannot be family for them, and that can be family or it cannot be family. But if they choose people from the place of love and expansion sometimes it might they can still be with family. I mean, they can have family for the rest of their lives. You know their ties, but they can even open up themselves to different connections.

Speaker 2:

But you were talking about being alone, and of course you can be alone, and it's actually the thing is that here is this sense or notion that you are. You can be alone Because when you're so connected with yourself, you know that basically you're connected to others and you will have right people that will support you. And it's not about oh my god, I need this particular person. No, it's not about that. But just know that there will always be people that will support you as long as you are following your heart, your mission, whatever that is, because it's just impossible not to be this way Unless you close yourself off. So that's just impossible not to be this way unless you close yourself off. So that's, that's just the final thing that I want to mention. So it's not about you being isolated from others, but having discernment. You know, even some people cannot yeah, some people cannot support you in your whatever you want, wherever you want want to do, and that's fine.

Speaker 1:

But you can feel content with being alone and also choose that you want to be around the people you want to be around.

Speaker 2:

Exactly Because a loneliness is. Being alone is not being lonely, as you said, and that's so important, but I was today. I was more referring to alone as being separated.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, awesome. Thank you so much much. Yeah, you're welcome yeah, I want to thank you bargy, stella and um, your higher self. Appreciate you so much awesome insights today. Thank you for listening to hypnotherapy for the soul brought to you by myself, shay pestle, and my friend and co-, stella, where we share with you behind the scenes live hypnotherapy sessions to give you the authentic experience of what it means to connect to your subconscious mind that you can tap into. Please follow us at hypnotherapyforthesoulcom Patreon and our socials. See you in the next episode.