🌈✨Interview with a New Lesbian: Ashliegh's Bold Coming Out at 32 | Episode 14

We chat with Ashliegh, who courageously stepped into her truth as a lesbian at 32! 🌟 After a life-changing decision to leave her heterosexual marriage of 8 years, Ashliegh's journey is a powerful testament to finding happiness at any age. 🏳️‍🌈💖

Join Adam, Blaine, and Ryan for an unfiltered discussion about Ashliegh's first year out, including her vibrant experiences at Pride and navigating new territories in lesbian relationships. 🎉🏳️‍🌈 She's learned A LOT...we even learned new things! Expect honest, heartfelt, and sometimes explicit conversations about love, life, and laughter in the our greater community. 🚫🔞

Disclaimer: This episode contains unfiltered discussions, including topics on lesbian sex and personal experiences. Listener discretion is advised.

Show Notes:

• [00:00] 🎬 Introduction to Ashliegh and the episode's theme.
• [01:26] 🌈 Ashliegh's inspiring story of coming out at 32 and leaving her husband.
• [03:45] 🎭 Delving into Ashliegh's background and her path to self-discovery.
• [06:19] 💞 Exploring the world of lesbian dating and relationships.
• [09:05] 🏳️‍🌈 The emotional journey of coming out to friends and family.
• [11:20] 🚀 Embracing a new identity and the challenges and joys it brings.
• [14:01] 🌟 Gaining insights into lesbian culture and community.
• [17:01] 🤔 Comparing gay and lesbian dating experiences.
• [19:54] 💖 Ashliegh's personal growth and pursuit of happiness.
• [22:24] 🌍 Breaking down societal perceptions and stereotypes.
• [25:07] 🎉 Celebrating Pride: Ashliegh's vibrant experiences in her first year.
• [28:30] 🌈 Future aspirations and dreams.
• [30:00] 🎙️ Closing thoughts and reflections.

Transcript

Adam: 0:00

Welcome to Coffee with Gays. I am, Adam we have Blaine and Ryan and today our special guest is the one night stand Diane Ashliegh

Blaine: 0:10

Ashliegh our brand new lesbian who just recently came out at 32 and little intro for everybody we're super excited to have you on the show today and You know Ashliegh and I have been friends for a long time and I never thought she was lesbian I know. So today's episode is really about diving into, you you're coming out, the life of a lesbian, the life of a lesbian and what you've learned because you've only been out since March of 2023. So it's been less than a year.

Ryan: 0:42

Oh yeah. So when we met that was brand new, new.

Blaine: 0:45

And she had a husband too. And she, she's gone in this year, gone through a divorce, had Multiple girlfriends, which I'm sure we'll go through.

Adam: 0:52

Shocker!

Blaine: 0:54

A lot of firsts for her, so we're just super interested as a bunch of gays. What you've experienced in your first year as a lesbian. Welcome to the show, Ashliegh. Thank you for having me. Yeah where are you from originally?

Ashliegh: 1:05

I'm from Nederland, Texas. It's terrible it's Belmont, on the line where Louisiana and Texas meet. Okay, so the east side. Southeast. Shout out to Nederland, I guess. So

Blaine: 1:17

not a lot of lesbians in Nederland. Okay. That's where you

Ryan: 1:20

grew up

Ashliegh: 1:21

until when? I went to LSU when I was 18. Yeah. Played softball there. Didn't know I was gay.

Blaine: 1:27

There are other lesbians on the softball team. Oh, yeah. And were they hitting on you? No.

Adam: 1:32

But didn't you ever look at a female and you're like, Ooh, like, anything? I

Ashliegh: 1:36

had so many thoughts like that, but it was just like This is not who I am, like, the first one was when I was eight. And we were playing Suck and Blow. Have you ever played that? Oh, with the card,

Adam: 1:46

right? Yeah. Wait a minute, what were you sucking, what were you blowing? We

Blaine: 1:50

do like this. And you, like, pass it. I can't even, apparently I'm not good at sucking or blowing. Like that, and then you, like, pass it off. A different kind of suck and blow. Did you purposely drop the card for a girl? I

Ashliegh: 2:04

didn't, but, cause I was having a little, Gay panic and like

Adam: 2:08

you actually do that you drop the card and you

Ashliegh: 2:11

accidentally kiss people because you're trying to pass the card yeah

Adam: 2:15

oh my god i'm gonna go to the fucking football team to get play this shit

Blaine: 2:17

yeah it was like totally a fun little school game back in the day so that's when you first

Ashliegh: 2:22

had thoughts Yeah. Yeah.

Adam: 2:26

Because what is it like, as a male, we get boners, so

Ashliegh: 2:31

We don't get boners, but

Adam: 2:34

I know that! But like, what is the equivalent in a female? You know that, how do you know that you're excited? Is it just tingling in your

Ashliegh: 2:42

stomach? It's like a pulsing situation, like

Adam: 2:46

With your hoo ha? Your hoo ha throbs? Oh my god, the more we know.

Ryan: 2:55

That's an enlightening episode already.

Adam: 2:56

Is it true your hoo ha pulse, like pumps? It's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Ashliegh: 3:01

It's like a heartbeat almost, like a

Blaine: 3:03

Wow, I didn't know that either. God, I'm almost 40. How do I not know this?

Adam: 3:09

I didn't know that either! Because I was like, what do you do? You don't get a boner, so what do you I have to go ask my

Ryan: 3:14

mom. Ew!

Ashliegh: 3:14

Ask

Adam: 3:15

Cindy,

Blaine: 3:15

she'll tell you. Mona will tell you. Mona will tell you for sure. That's interesting. Okay, so you've had a few little palpitations. And that's where you were like, okay. So fast forward. You ended up married, when did you guys get married? You're only 32. You were married for

Ashliegh: 3:32

eight years, right? I was with him for 12 years. Okay. And then married for eight, so like it was like 22 right out. Right outta college.

Blaine: 3:40

Right outta college. Did you meet in college?

Ashliegh: 3:42

Met in college. He was in a fraternity.

Blaine: 3:44

Were you also in a fraternity?. Ashliegh: I was like such a bro. Like I. I was at that fraternity so much that I was like in the fraternity.

Adam: 3:53

And you didn't feel any signs that you could have been a lesbian.

Ashliegh: 3:55

I just was like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be the perfect daughter because like my family was religious and like.

Ryan: 4:02

Expectations.

Ashliegh: 4:03

Yeah. Well, yeah, it's Texas, you know.

Adam: 4:06

Blame it on the family because they're the ones that are freaking crazy.

Ryan: 4:09

The family?

Adam: 4:10

That pushed you into the idea like my parents didn't give a shit. My dad was confused, but, you know.

Ashliegh: 4:15

I'm like a people pleaser, so I like wanted to do the expected

Blaine: 4:17

But was it really your family, or was it your expectations that you had for yourself for your family? Cause that would be Ryan's and my experience.

Ashliegh: 4:23

It's a little bit of both, I think. Yeah, cause I wanted the like normal life. of getting married, having kids at first, and then figured out, I don't think I want kids, and then I was like

Ryan: 4:33

Did you see other it was other friends, or I guess other people in your community that were like, living that life that was normal? So that's what you thought was, normal in your environment?

Ashliegh: 4:43

Like, all the girls would, it would be the Pinterest era, we were doing like, their Pinterest wedding, and

Blaine: 4:47

Oh god, yeah And going to Nashville and wearing white boots for a stupid bachelorette party.

Adam: 4:53

You were married,

Blaine: 4:55

did you have any pulsations for women before you got engaged?

Ashliegh: 5:01

Yeah, there was this one time, so embarrassing, but I went on Craigslist and it was like, women loving women. I clicked on it and then like immediately clicked out and was like, no.

Blaine: 5:14

Ryan and I both were in gay chat rooms back in the day. What the fuck do you think

Adam: 5:17

I was, on Gilligan's Island every year?

Blaine: 5:20

I thought you weren't. I didn't think you knew what the internet was.

Adam: 5:22

We had M4M on AOL. That's where I met most of my first friends.

Blaine: 5:26

Oh, that was just me then. Me and Adam were. Never mind. So we get it. But we didn't click out.

Ashliegh: 5:30

I clicked out because I was like, oh, this is this is not right. Yeah,

Adam: 5:34

Were you even around for AOL Dial Up?

Ryan: 5:36

Yeah, I had a little bit of that.

Blaine: 5:37

I kind of forget how much younger he is. Okay, so while you're married did you have any inklings?

Ashliegh: 5:42

Eventually, after three years, Cause where were you living? We were in Houston and we, I was traveling and we did this survey I think this is what kicked everything off we, he sent me this survey where we both answer sex questions and it was like, would you try a threesome, would you try any, like a hundred questions about sex things, then it would group them together and tell you what you answered and so we both said yes to threesomes and things like that. So that's what kicked it off.

Ryan: 6:09

What initiated doing the survey though?

Ashliegh: 6:11

Initiated where we were like, oh, like we both this is I don't know, five, six years into marriage. And so we were like,

Adam: 6:16

do you like women?

Ashliegh: 6:17

We did, and then I was like, oh I think I like women more. And once I figured that out after doing that, He, he was not, he was supportive, as in go try it and figure your shit out, but he was not supportive at all.

Adam: 6:34

Hold the fuck on. Hold the fuck on. You mean to tell me you told him, hey, I think that I would like to try something with a woman.. Alone. And he probably sat there and said, why the fuck did I send her that goddamn questionnaire?

Ashliegh: 6:50

I don't think he even remembers about that. Like I think it was like years before I even got the courage to be like, I like women more.

Adam: 6:57

So this is what's interesting between gay men and gay women, because gay women, if you're bi, gay, guys don't really look at it and go, holy smokes, like you're gay? As if. You know, they're like, oh, it's not bad, who cares? If a gay guy comes to a woman, who's your girlfriend, and says, Hey, I think I want to suck a dick, she's going to be like, What the fuck are you talking about? Do we agree?

Blaine: 7:21

You're gay.

Ashliegh: 7:21

Yeah, you're gay. Yeah. Oh, like she wants to have more threesomes. Yeah.

Adam: 7:26

Did you guys already have a threesome at that point? Yeah. Let's get back to that. So you guys decided to have a threesome, brought in another girl. Where did you find this girl?

Blaine: 7:37

Ooh, this is juicy.

Ashliegh: 7:39

I think it was like Bumble or some app. I don't know. It was like, it's called a unicorn. A unicorn? A unicorn is like a woman that comes into a couple's.

Blaine: 7:50

I'm gonna tell you, I think Ashliegh is one of the most informed gay people I know. She comes up with terms I don't even know.

Ryan: 7:56

The unicorn is only if it's a woman that comes into a opposite sex.

Ashliegh: 8:01

I think it could be a man too, I guess, but most of the time It's referred to as a woman.

Blaine: 8:05

So he probably thought he was like really like just winning.

Adam: 8:10

He's like, yeah, I got two vaginas. All right. And the next thing you know, he's like,

Blaine: 8:14

Were you enjoying that moment more?

Ashliegh: 8:16

I was like, normally it's you know, the girls start. And so that's that was the fun part. And then, yeah.

Adam: 8:21

Can you imagine? She's making she's silly making out with the girl, and literally he comes in and she's No! And pushes him away. Get out of here! Get off!

Ryan: 8:33

Is that, how did it go? How did it go? Yeah.

Blaine: 8:36

I'm like, blushing over that situation. I love it. I love it. How long was this in your marriage, by the way?

Ashliegh: 8:43

This was like, I don't know, six years, maybe?

Adam: 8:45

Oh wait, let me, let me see like this. Of course a lesbian waits six years. Gay men wait six. Weeks. And doesn't. That's the difference.

Blaine: 8:53

So like then you just decided to make it like super serious because I, so I had seen Ashliegh like probably six months prior and in my mind she was happily married. We were in, I forgot where, we were in like some Caribbean town and then she was happy and whatever and then.

Ashliegh: 9:08

I hid it, I hid it well. Yeah.

Blaine: 9:10

Yeah, we, we saw each other again in Bimini and then she's like, I've got something to tell you. And I was like, yay, what? And she's like, I'm a lesbian, shocked.

Ashliegh: 9:21

Everybody else I told was like, yeah, it makes sense.

Adam: 9:23

Blaine once in his life was speechless.

Blaine: 9:26

The people in this group that we hang out with, we're like, I'm the only gay, we're the gay ones. Like we're the two gays. There's no other gays.

Ashliegh: 9:32

There's two other guys. Blaine: Yes. There's two other guys.

Adam: 9:35

Is this like your, work...

Blaine: 9:37

Yeah, it's like a work industry thing that we do. So there's just not a lot of gays. There's a lot of guys, and girls, I would say.

Ashliegh: 9:45

I think I'm the only lesbian.

Blaine: 9:46

I think you are the only lesbian that I know so far. There's a maybe, but she's more of like a swinger, so I don't think that's the same. She also tried to get me to sleep with her and my ex boyfriend. Yeah, we've dealt with that one before.

Ryan: 9:59

Come on, you like it too.

Blaine: 10:00

I just never thought of it. I don't know why. I mean, looking at you now, I'm like, yeah, you totally seem like a lesbian.

Adam: 10:05

Did you look like this before?

Ashliegh: 10:07

No. No.

Ryan: 10:09

Did you feel like you were trying to look lesbian, or this is just me becoming me?

Ashliegh: 10:13

It was just me I hated dresses. I wore them because they were, like

Blaine: 10:17

Yeah, but I never saw you in a dress, really.

Ashliegh: 10:19

Oh, you did.

Blaine: 10:20

Did I?

Ashliegh: 10:20

Yeah. I wore dresses all the time. I have heels on in that shit.

Ryan: 10:25

Heels in a dress?

Adam: 10:27

Pants, a shirt, and shorter hair. What doesn't make you look like a lesbian now?

Blaine: 10:33

You were less masculine back then. I've gotta say everybody says this about me, too. I wasn't as

Adam: 10:38

Flamboyant? Yeah, we always wonder how a woman thought you were straight, but

Blaine: 10:45

I know, but I do think there is something that unlocks a little bit. Where you get to be your more authentic self.

Adam: 10:51

It 100 percent does, because you relax. You're now sitting in that seat and you can relax and you don't have to put that front on. Because even I did it before I was out. And I got really scared that I was going to get leaked out towards the end of it when I started to come out. Because I was living two separate lives. And it's one of those things. You just keep that front up. So I can see that.

Ashliegh: 11:09

I was a people pleaser. And then now I'm like, I feel uncomfortable not pleasing me. Now that's weird to say. But

Blaine: 11:15

What was the moment that said, I'm going to come out because you had a house that you had to sell. I mean, you had like, you had like, you had like a life, like a real life that you had to like split up. This wasn't like a, one of Adam's many breakup.

Ashliegh: 11:31

We had to sell it cause we were getting divorced. But the reason I came out, annoying and sad, but whatever. But I, he blackmailed me into coming out. Cause he was like, if you don't tell your whole family, I'm going to tell. So literally I was like, fuck you. I'm going to call everybody. I like went down the list and called everybody

Ryan: 11:48

to go ahead and come out to them.

Ashliegh: 11:49

Cause he was mad.

Adam: 11:51

That's sad.

Blaine: 11:52

But had you been with somebody else or like, did you just decide like, I'm just going to live this life?

Ashliegh: 11:57

No, I'm just going to go to like fully live how I want to live. Cause I was miserable knowing that I was gay.

Adam: 12:04

Did you cringe every time you had to ride his dick?

Ashliegh: 12:07

No, no, I mean

Adam: 12:08

Because every time I had to put my penis in a vagina, I'd be like, oh god, here we go. Oh, Jesus.

Ashliegh: 12:13

This is where it was confusing it was just like, it wasn't, it was like, everybody talks about how it wasn't, it's not The women are like, oh, it's not that great it's not

Adam: 12:22

But it's also different, because We have, we have to look at, ugh, a vagina.

Blaine: 12:30

And then let's be honest, Adam's a big old bottom, it's not like that's cute.

Ashliegh: 12:34

Did you know there's tops and bottoms in lesbian world too?

Adam: 12:36

We're gonna come back to that. But, in lesbian world, I do know this, that they like to put strap ons and go to town, like that's how they do it. What's the difference between sitting on a real dick or taking it from a fake dick?

Ashliegh: 12:48

It's the person. It's the person. Like, it's a man, attached to a man. Or attached to a woman, you know?

Ryan: 12:55

Because you're still like, you're with a woman, she's just using something to please you.

Blaine: 12:59

And I bet a woman has like, kind of better, like, I don't know, flow. Does that make sense?

Ashliegh: 13:05

Yeah, I mean, you're definitely going to have way more orgasm. I got it.

Adam: 13:10

Ew!

Blaine: 13:11

Have y'all ever been to Pilates, the guys?

Adam: 13:15

No!

Blaine: 13:15

Ryan, have you done Pilates?

Ryan: 13:17

No, but I've heard of it.

Adam: 13:18

Is that like where you like do the swan, like one leg up?

Blaine: 13:21

No, that's that's yoga. This is like a, there's a reformer thing and you move your legs and there's just a certain amount of muscles you use that like literally women use differently than men. And there would be these huge buff men in the class. They'd be just as weak as me and I would be like, ha ha, and there'd be these like women of all different shapes and sizes and they're just like killing it on these reformer machines , and it's just like something in between the cooter, the hoo ha. It's like, we're like super weak here.

Adam: 13:52

The Kegels for guys to do the Kegels. Like, I'm doing it right now, you don't even know it. But, uh,

Blaine: 13:57

It actually just reminded me to do my Kegels.

Adam: 14:00

But, but it tightens, and I don't know if this is true or not, but I think it tightens your butt, too. No, but it also helps you with your stamina. Yes. So you can ejaculate on demand.

Ashliegh: 14:10

I'm learning, too. Because, yeah, I thought it was just to make

Blaine: 14:13

You didn't know that?

Adam: 14:14

Ryan and Brad are gonna be driving around kegel time! Let's go!

Blaine: 14:18

Three times a day, 15 inches, so yeah yeah.

Ryan: 14:22

Squeeze your, squeeze that hole, and

Adam: 14:24

Think of it as if you're trying to ejaculate without a boner.

Blaine: 14:27

No, no, no, if you're trying to stop peeing, is what it's supposed to be. Yeah, if you're trying to stop peeing.

Adam: 14:33

That's the same thing.

Blaine: 14:34

So that's the, that's that muscle.

Adam: 14:36

It's the same muscle that we use. for ours is they're using for the heart pump of their vagina.

Blaine: 14:41

Exactly. Exactly.

Adam: 14:44

Welcome to sex ed with a lesbian.

Ryan: 14:47

Can you accidentally like cum or pee while you're in the middle of doing your Kegel exercises?

Blaine: 14:52

No, but it would keep you, it would keep you from cumming. And it would keep you from peeing.

Adam: 14:56

Do you get random boners?

Ryan: 14:58

I mean, I get boners, but then also like one time, it was only one time. But on the leg machine, it was only one time, and it was several years ago.

Blaine: 15:06

You came on the leg machine? Stop.

Adam: 15:08

You ejaculated?

Ryan: 15:10

This is like the motion, and this just got so excited.

Blaine: 15:14

I'm literally wondering how that would happen.

Adam: 15:16

I'm just wondering what you do after

Blaine: 15:17

it. Just get crusty. And I'm sure it would start having a nice little aroma too in the gym. But maybe that might, it might actually attract the guys, like those pheromones. So speaking of pheromones, this is my, I think this is a good transition. So this is my thing on this interesting situation about your husband, and both Adam and I have been with women. Ryan's a platinum gay, so he's never been with women. So he doesn't understand this topic.

Adam: 15:42

Gold star is if you either been with a woman or came out of a vagina. Platinum is you've never been with a woman, you never came out of a vagina.

Blaine: 15:50

C section.

Adam: 15:51

Yeah, well you guys could also be platinum.

Ashliegh: 15:53

Gold star is you've just never been with a man.

Blaine: 15:55

Because, if you really think about it yeah, there's not as many ways to interact with a vagina as there are as a gay man. Yeah. Ryan was a C section, so he's never touched one, ever. But Adam and I have, and here's my thought on it. It is less about the look, but I hear you, Adam. I think it's more about the pheromones that exist, the sex pheromones. I really, it is repulsive to me as well, but it's not a bad smell. It's just a, it's a scent. And men have the same thing, like I said, you get that musky scent.

Adam: 16:28

I don't even like the musky scent of a man. I need a clean man.

Blaine: 16:33

He showers. Six times a day. I want to smell like mint or like some nice wonderful oregano or something.

Ashliegh: 16:40

What if you found the perfect man that was like, I like your musk, don't wear anything.

Adam: 16:44

I would be like, you're fucking weird. You're fucking weird. And this will never work because I shower more. I wait. Oh God.

Ryan: 16:52

Tell the guy to, I need you to sprinkle this oregano in my hole.

Blaine: 16:58

You should just have like little essential oil bottles by your bed and just choose your scent. What?

Adam: 17:04

So, you know, um, the razor that's what is it, the lawnmower razor? Oh,

Ryan: 17:08

like the, the man

Adam: 17:10

trimmer, groomer thing? Yes, they have what's called the crop mops. And they smell really good. So if you're like running around and you're, you think your balls are going to stink and you're like getting ready to go to a hookup, you take the crop mop and you wipe like your whole like half and it smells amazing.

Blaine: 17:27

So you mean to tell me you shower three to six times a day and you use a crop mop, a whore bath?

Adam: 17:34

Like say that like my partner and I were going to go like. Throw down real quick. And he was like, let's just do it. I would run in and I would usually pee and just do a crop mop just so in case of anything, smells So they give you like little packs, they're like little packs, they're like hand wipes. So you could literally, if you're like maybe I'll have a hookup tonight, stick it in your pocket.

Blaine: 17:56

Ashliegh, maybe you should do this too.

Ashliegh: 17:58

I carry wipes.

Blaine: 17:59

Oh my god, she's she's got a hoe bag. She's got a hoe bag! We did, by the way, we did talk about your fanny packs the other day on our work call. And is that your hoe bag?

Ashliegh: 18:11

It's more like a mom bag though. It's like I have a charger Tide to go. Chap stick. Chaffing Creme

Blaine: 18:19

So you've had some milestones this year. I was there in L. A. with you. So was Ryan, actually, for your first Pride, which, super exciting. And you went to not just one Pride. How many Prides? Four. Four. Which ones did you go to?

Ashliegh: 18:33

L. A., Denver. Denver was really fun. Where else did I go? I didn't go to Houston. Somewhere in San Diego? I don't even know. I don't even remember. There was too many. I went to so many parties. I went to random satellite parties, too. That wasn't the actual Pride. Yeah.

Blaine: 18:51

So this year, when we were complaining about not doing Pride, she was just all over the country doing Pride. Meeting lesbians. And this trip to Dallas, because you're in Dallas now you met a girl on a date that she met at Denver Pride.

Ashliegh: 19:04

Yeah, we met at a party that was you do, you probably don't watch the queer ultimatum, but it was a next Netflix show. It was all lesbians.

Adam: 19:15

Nope, surely would not watch that.

Ashliegh: 19:17

And there was two of the stars that like showed up the party to pay and like I met this girl who was very wasted, but we just made out and then she's from the house, so I met up with her. Yeah. So this is the question I had. And we talked about this for a second. So like, how do you meet girls? Cause we have Grindr's Scruff. We have endless dating apps.

Adam: 19:38

We have so much. But yeah, that's the thing, because lesbians, you get the shaft. If I, and I had this conversation with my employee the other day, is I really think the food chain of command is literally gay men, then it's women, then it's straight men, and then the lesbians get the shaft of it all!

Blaine: 19:56

Okay, but I have a theory. So what's the lesbian app you use?

Ashliegh: 19:59

Um, there's only one that I know of. It's called Her. I hate it. It's like, the notifications go wild and I just ignore it.

Adam: 20:06

They're coming after you.

Ashliegh: 20:07

Oh, you should get this. You should pay for this. It's like, not real ones. Oh, not like girls. No, no. So I like Hinge or Bumble.

Blaine: 20:15

I get why this is, though. And if you think about it, there's a reason. It's because I think that you guys Do you girls, yeah, sorry, you gals, I don't want to say gals, you gals, like you meet a girl and you end up in a relationship quickly. Yeah, like Hinge's thing, it's like the app that's meant to be deleted, like that's their slogan, but that's not really true, guys are players. So when you have men in the mix, I really think there's just a lot of swiping happened in there. And then for us gay men, we have Grindr. You could be in a relationship and still hooking up. The couples are, the guys themselves are, without their partner. So but then the girls don't do that. You guys get jealous.

Ashliegh: 20:58

Yeah. Yeah, I don't U Haul though. I know people who U Haul.

Blaine: 21:01

Um.

Ashliegh: 21:03

Okay, I accidentally. I didn't U Haul. I didn't U Haul. I met this girl. There was no girl.

Blaine: 21:11

It's only been, let's just, let's define the timeline. It has been 8 months since you came out. I met her on Hinge. And it was like I don't know, March, April. And I really liked her. So we like started talking and I said, Hey, I'm like a digital nomad. So stupid to say, but I just travel and I'll see you when I'm in Houston, and ended up being a lot more than what I thought it would be. And then we just we both were like, we don't want to date. We're just going to be like friends with benefits. But then we stopped talking to everyone else. And it turned into a "situationship"

Ryan: 21:44

turned into what?

Ashliegh: 21:45

In between dating and a friends with benefits. We're like, you're saying like, we're exclusive,

Ryan: 21:50

but it is, but it's not said.

Blaine: 21:52

And for example, she was going to a bar with this girl and accidentally invited this other girl that she was dating, right?

Ashliegh: 22:01

It was a group setting. And I invited the other girl. And now this girl, we're just friends, the "Situationship". Girl, we're just friends trying to not have sex or do anything,

Blaine: 22:09

But it was rude. It was rude that she invited the other person.

Ashliegh: 22:13

She got mad at me, and, which is fair, it's fair. I thought it was a group setting.

Blaine: 22:17

I think this makes a lot of sense. It's like a friends with benefits, but it's complicated. Yeah. Because you still have those feelings. Yeah."Situationship".

Adam: 22:25

Yeah, but all of our situationships usually sink. So why, like, Why not just lock it down?

Ashliegh: 22:31

Well, I'm tr I'm learning how to be gay, right? This I wanna go date.

Ryan: 22:34

Just like, have fun. Just want to like, go be be out and about.

Blaine: 22:38

Oh, I guess

Adam: 22:38

it is like, driver's ED. You just gotta have a couple crashes before

Ashliegh: 22:41

you really Like, I don't even really know my type yet. I'm just like, going out there.

Adam: 22:44

Nuh uh, it's a twink, mask, a bear, or a twonk, an otter, or

Blaine: 22:49

What are you, Adam?

Adam: 22:51

I'm a jock.

Blaine: 22:52

Hick is more like it, but whatever.

Adam: 22:54

So what what what what do you guys have?

Ashliegh: 22:56

Femme, which is Feminine, very feminine.

Blaine: 22:59

Or what we would call a lipstick lesbian.

Ashliegh: 23:01

Lipstick, yeah. Masculine, like a masc. I'm definitely a mask. And there's chapstick that's both a little bit. Oh, wow. There's a lot that I don't know. I'm still learning. Yeah, but there's studs. That's like a masc that's like African American.

Blaine: 23:17

Really? I didn't, I've never heard this term either.

Ashliegh: 23:20

I've been called a golden retriever masc before. Where it's I'm just happy and bubbly and I'll do whatever you want,

Adam: 23:24

and your tail's just wagging all day long.

Blaine: 23:27

I have to ask the question that everybody is probably dying to know. Do you like, just like, scissor or something?

Ashliegh: 23:35

I don't even know how that works.

Blaine: 23:37

Scissor me timbers, the whole South Park episode, "The Lesbos"

Ashliegh: 23:40

My mom called it the screwdriver the other day. On accident

Blaine: 23:47

I would think that women would be like super passionate and pleasing each other. Cause it's just like how women are

Ashliegh: 23:52

There's no like start and stop to sex. It's, you can, as long as you want.

Blaine: 23:57

Ryan, are you a lesbian?

Ryan: 23:58

What do you mean there's no start and stop? It's just always, just

Ashliegh: 24:01

Like, when you want to stop, like, yeah, yeah.

Adam: 24:03

But, but, but wait, don't you

Ashliegh: 24:04

There's no, like, oh yeah, but like, you can keep going.

Blaine: 24:06

With us, we have to have a break.

Ashliegh: 24:08

There's no break, you don't have to have a break. You can have ten each if you want. Yeah. You can have what? Ten orgasms each if you wanted to.

Ryan: 24:16

Just back to back?

Ashliegh: 24:17

Yeah.

Ryan: 24:18

Oh my god. Yeah.

Adam: 24:20

I'd be like, I'll see you guys next month. I'm done. I'm done.

Blaine: 24:24

Yeah, he definitely was like the gays the gays are irresponsible, so we need to like, shut him down. Or guys, period. We need to shut him down. They can go focus on something else, but they'll never leave. Women can actually do something else. Are you looking for a relationship now? Do you see yourself with a man?

Ashliegh: 24:39

I want to I want to find friends. I think I'm gonna settle down eventually, join a softball league, even though it's really sterotypical.

Blaine: 24:48

But you went to the lesbian bar last night, not amused. It was a bunch of men, and straight women. At

Adam: 24:53

Sue Ellen's?

Ashliegh: 24:55

Yeah, it was really weird.

Blaine: 24:56

Why were there straight women at your lesbian bar? Now see, this is what I'm talking about.

Ashliegh: 25:00

I'm like, assuming, but it's like, the women where I'm like, I like, look at them, and then they like, get nervous to look at me, and they just like, look away.

Adam: 25:07

They're closeted, that's why.

Blaine: 25:08

Straight women need to stay out of our bars, and straight men need to stay out of lesbian bars. That's right.

Ashliegh: 25:13

There's only 20 lesbian bars in the country. Like, total.

Adam: 25:17

We had 20 just here in Dallas. Gay bars. I really want somebody to open a lounge, though a lesbian lounge a speakeasy, where we could be there at 7pm

Blaine: 25:27

you have to watch the South Park that is Lesbos.

Ashliegh: 25:30

I mean, I want to meet a 22 year old at a, at Sue Ellen's. Like, I want to meet, like, a 30

Ryan: 25:36

year old. Would a, would a lesbian lounge have Like a scissoring back room, or gay bars, they probably would totally have a back room.

Blaine: 25:44

Oh. Like a dark room.

Ryan: 25:46

Not really as much in the, most of the U. S. Europe, and maybe, like, in New York.

Adam: 25:50

We have what's called the Eagle, and in the Eagle, they usually have, like, where you strip down to adjust your underwear, and you go into

Ashliegh: 25:56

the back. There's a in Houston, there's a lesbian bar called Pearl. And it has a patio, and that's where Most women go out to kiss, but there's no hooking up.

Adam: 26:05

You Kiss!

Ashliegh: 26:05

My first date with that girl was like, 12 hours long.

Blaine: 26:08

What were you doing?

Adam: 26:13

I would've had four low blood sugars in that entire time,

Ashliegh: 26:15

what are you just you go out to like We went out to dinner, then we went out to a wine bar, then we went to karaoke. Then we like, just didn't want to we hung out at her house, and then then she was like, oh, come over in the morning, and so then I went over in the morning having breakfast, and like,

Ryan: 26:27

how long have your dates been this past week?

Blaine: 26:30

You know, like, two, two to three hours.

Ashliegh: 26:33

This is apparently gay, too. Like holding your coffee cup like this.

Blaine: 26:39

That's how I kind of do it too.

Ashliegh: 26:40

Yeah. So like this, that's not straight. And then this is like lesbian. Cause it's

Blaine: 26:45

like a two finger. I

Ryan: 26:47

no I know how to put two fingers in a hole,

Blaine: 26:52

but it was super fun. It was super fun to film and very enlightening. And we're super proud of you. Welcome

Ryan: 27:01

your first year, the first year.

Blaine: 27:02

And you've done a lot and really embraced it. Awesome. We're looking forward to see what you do next. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Thanks for coming. So cheers. Coffee with Gays and lesbians and we're going to go out and get crazy.