Gay Dating Unhinged 🤪: Navigating Gay Dating's Ups & Downs | Episode 15

Dive deep into the wild world of gay dating with Adam, Blaine, and Ryan in Season 3, Episode 16 of "Coffee with Gays." From heartfelt breakups to the thrilling chase of new connections, this episode uncovers the raw truths of dating within the gay community. Laugh, cringe, and maybe even shed a tear with us as we share our personal dating stories, advice, and the occasional mishap. Plus, don't miss our taste test of a new caffeinated beverage that's perfect for any time of day check them out at  @drink.alldae

🌟 Highlights:

- Adam's journey back into the dating scene
- The complexities of gay dating compared to other relationships
- Our very first sponsor introduction  @drink.alldae   – and a taste test!
- The ups and downs of using dating apps from Grindr to Archer
- Tips on making a great first impression and dating etiquettes
- A deep dive into what really turns us off on a date
- 💬 Want to join the conversation? Drop your dating story or advice in the comments below!

Show Notes for Description:

0:00 Introduction to Gay Dating Unhinged
0:17 The Freedom of Dating Post-Breakup
2:07 The Complexity and Challenges of Gay Dating
2:16 Our First Sponsor and Taste Testing
7:33 Discussing Dating App Dynamics
19:15 The Importance of Respect and Communication in Dating
25:17 Blaine's "Boy Tornado" 😂
34:55 Tips for a Successful Date
49:02 Adam's Personal Dating Stories
1:04:58 Expanding Dating Horizons Beyond the City

Remember, the journey through dating is as much about discovering ourselves as it is about finding someone else. Join us as we lay it all out on the table in this heartwarming and hilariously candid episode of "Coffee with Gays."

Transcript

Discussing Gay Dating and New Sponsor

Speaker 1 0:00

We're going to be the loud ones. We're willing to speak out.

Speaker 2 0:02

I'm not politically correct. If you want the truth, I'll give it to you.

Speaker 3 0:06

We're going to start having this wine. Maybe we'll show some true colors.

Speaker 2 0:13

Welcome to Coffee with Gays. I am not your host, but partially your host. I am Adam.

Speaker 3 0:20

I'm Ryan and I'm Blaine, and today's episode is Gay. Dating.

Speaker 1 0:26

Unhinghinged, so we're going to talk about it and we're really excited because we have an announcement. Uh, we wanted to do this a long time ago, but we're we were, um what do you call it? Like handcuffed, uh, by a previous relationship of a cast member, and now adam is single, so he's ready to talk about dating single and out in the wild and you're dating and that's pretty much all we've ever heard about for like the last three weeks so let me say this I, I, I, I loved my last partner.

Speaker 2 1:01

I would never say anything bad about him. I loved him to death. But we came into realization that we had differences and some different stuff. We needed to work through things in our own personal lives and we figured it's best to part ways and to figure our lives out. And we loved him too.

Speaker 1 1:21

Everybody loved him Really more than you. Yeah, it's actually a nice story.

Speaker 3 1:23

My mom loved him Really more than you. Yeah, Everybody. It's actually a nice story. My mom loved him. Oh yeah, that's true you said it in Florida.

Speaker 1 1:32

Your mom will take him.

Speaker 2 1:35

I wish the best for him. I still worry about him but loved him to death and I hope everything in life works out so great.

Speaker 3 1:46

So now we're on to your dating life. You're sounding so mature. I'm really proud of this. This it's in there. No, I know it's in there.

Speaker 2 1:53

We just make fun of each other that's going to be part of this today is like we're going to talk about the highs and the lows of dating in the gay world because everybody thinks, oh, it's just two dudes, they just just get together and then you know they date and they fuck and they do whatever. But in realness I think the dating world in the gay life is the hardest of all couples versus straight, gay, lesbian you know it's the hardest of all.

Speaker 1 2:20

And before we get into our very exciting trivia game, I wanted to announce our first sponsor that just launched in the tiktok shop, a brand that I've been working with all day, which I'm super excited about. Uh, it's a lightly caffeinated beverage, so it's not coffee, but it's made from the cascara bean, so it's light coffee, so very coffee, with gaze s and it's a really smell that coffee though?

Speaker 1 2:44

no, it's not. It's not a coffee beverage, so it's lightly caffeinated. It only has a little pick-me-up. Yeah, it's just a third of the milligrams of coffee a cup of coffee would have. So we like to say, like when it's like too late for a cup of coffee, but too early for your afternoon beer but it still has alcohol no, it doesn't have alcohol.

Speaker 3 3:03

Oh, it doesn't have alcohol free beverage so this is like oh, it's not a seltzer, it's just a slightly.

Speaker 1 3:09

You're a contractor like when you're like having your midday slump, like this has been a really great beverage. I like it so like we're gonna do a little taste on your laptop you know what? And my laptop, um, we're gonna do a little taste test. What's the first flavor? The first one is ginger yuzu.

Speaker 3 3:27

What is yuzu?

Speaker 1 3:29

It's kind of like a lemon. Oh, this is good, super refreshing.

Speaker 2 3:33

It's not a strong taste. It has a ginger, but I would think more of a lime, a lemon lime. This is like a seltzer water with a hint of lemon.

Speaker 3 3:46

I really like this yeah, and you know what this is. Oh, this could make like a moscow mule you should do a tiktok for that.

Speaker 1 3:56

Okay, I just literally set up their tiktok and their tiktok shop this is.

Speaker 2 4:00

That would be really good yeah so that's like not super gingery, but since it doesn't have alcohol, we can put alcohol in it to make out what we need to be Speaking of.

Speaker 1 4:12

You have that. Okay, let's move on to the passion fruit guava.

Speaker 3 4:16

Okay, cleanse your palate.

Speaker 2 4:20

I don't know Ice cream.

Speaker 3 4:22

Passion fruit guava. Cleanse it with our mimosa. Next up, passion fruit and guava. Next up. Okay, passion fruit guava.

Speaker 2 4:29

Mmm.

Speaker 3 4:31

I don't like that.

Speaker 2 4:32

If you like sweet drinks, this would be like a grapefruit. Is that what it's called?

Speaker 1 4:37

It's guava, it's a very tropical passion fruit and guava.

Speaker 2 4:42

I could get down with this if I was on the beach somewhere. Yeah, but it's very it's beach like it.

Speaker 3 4:47

It tastes like very tropical, yeah, beachish and maybe like a pool, like a pool day or something we're trying to feel all day. Yeah, by the way, regardless.

Speaker 1 4:57

All of these only have 60 calories per can and they are all naturally sweetened, so there's no like monk fruit or anything or any. No sugar added and they're called all day all day g-a-e, because you can drink it all day, all day, you can and you don't get like that hype, like I had too many celsius's the other day and I was like wired no joke, yeah, no jitters or crash no, it's good. Okay, now let's move on to the hibiscus dragon fruit. I think you like this one better yeah, which one are we?

Speaker 1 5:27

hibiscus dragon it's more like a tea I like the first one the best I do love the ginger you do love.

Speaker 2 5:36

I love the ginger a lot. Yeah, I would buy the ginger all day long, this one it's like a tea.

Speaker 1 5:44

So I think if you're a tea drinker like an herbal tea drinker, you'd really like that.

Speaker 2 5:49

This one isn't something that you would do at a party. This is something to calm down with.

Speaker 1 5:54

This might be after the afternoon beer. Every beverage has to be a party beverage.

Speaker 2 6:02

I mean, if I was laying, laying back, watching a very like the notebook, I would be drinking this Okay.

Speaker 1 6:11

So basically, I think but they're good, they're all good, they all have a different personality. I think people will really like it. There's a variety pack. I like the ginger. You can go on TikTok shop and get all day. We have a discount running right now and then, if anybody's like a creator and wants to order samples, we'll send samples and, uh, you can do your own videos. Where can they buy that? Uh?

Speaker 3 6:33

you can buy them at all drink all daycom, so you have to have them shipped. Can you buy them at likea local there?

Speaker 1 6:37

is also a store locator. We're at a lot of cool coffee shops in new york. We're in intelligentsia. We're not like widely distributed yet we're not at Kroger. Not at the Kroger yet, not at Whole Foods, not at Sprouts. We are working on it. It's the very beginning of this product.

Speaker 3 6:53

I know we all got to start somewhere.

Speaker 1 6:54

Did it go?

Speaker 2 6:55

on Shark Tank.

Speaker 1 6:57

No, we're not going to need to go on Shark Tank. I already have some really cool interest for some really uh, good distribution down here.

Speaker 3 7:04

So I might, yeah, I might do the ginger make my moscow mule now oh my god okay we just don't have it in a copper mug, but because we have our, you know, coffee with gays branding. Um well, the mexican mule, actually, when it's with tequila oh, ryan, you gave it away that it's with tequila.

Speaker 1 7:25

Oh, oh, I guess we already talked about that didn't we?

Speaker 2 7:28

yeah, you just said I'm gonna make my moscow mule now, so I had a really fun idea is I want to know what your song of the week is. So what, like what song, one or two songs, are you feeling this week? I'm gonna give it to Ryan first. What's your song of the week?

Speaker 3 7:46

My song this week is called Brave by Ella Henderson.

Speaker 2 7:52

Can we play it real quick? Yeah, we can play it.

Dating World and Playlist Favorites

Speaker 3 7:55

And so go, wrecks your heart and the world's gone dark and your soul is black from blue. You still got love to give, got a lot to live for. We'll pull through. I tell you you play this song. I don't know about you, but if I made a whole playlist, but that's one song that stuck out to me this week, um, and it's because I was putting on a conference and so I wanted, I was looking for a lot of like upbeat, positive kind of anthems like that, um, and that one, yeah, that one like really just makes me feel really good and strong and loved, and like, well, you know, and be brave and get through it. So that felt really good. You listen to that on the treadmill and start running. I guarantee you, like you'll, you'll feel, you'll feel good.

Speaker 1 8:43

Also Lane, I mean mine, is just kind of a classic Freedom by.

Speaker 2 8:51

George Michael. So where did this?

Speaker 1 8:52

venture from. I've had a lot going on the last few weeks. I feel like it lifted over the last week and it just makes me very happy. I don't belong to you and you don't belong to me. I have freedom, freedom, freedom, give or what you take Freedom, freedom, freedom. I can't believe you're making me do it. Oh, the holy blood just turned it the way. I am Freedom. I can't believe you're making me do it.

Speaker 3 9:26

Oh the holy pot just turned it the way I am.

Speaker 1 9:29

Okay, what's?

Speaker 2 9:30

your. So my song of the week, now that I am getting back out in the dating world, is an amazing song from Carrie Underwood and it's called the More Boys I Meet, the More I Love my Dog Each time I'm in. The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog each time I'm in. The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog. That you don't have a dog. Now that I'm back in the dating world which is the scariest thing in the world for me, because I hated it, um, back in the day, and it's getting even worse now it is I feel like the more boys I meet, the more I'm just like, oh god, why am I doing this? This is horrific. So that's where today's topic came from. That's where all of this has come from. Today, is you know me? And now in this whole dating world of gay life it's great do you think you okay, but I love it.

Speaker 3 10:23

I hate it Also, though, because you just ended your relationship not too long ago. Did you not want to just wait and not start dating again?

Speaker 2 10:34

There was two aspects of that One I look at it as shit. I'm 37 years old. The relationship had its ups and downs. We had a lot of moments where we broke up in between and this is really sad to say is I just think that I was, at the end, so done with it and, in my head, so mentally moved past it that I was like I'm going to give myself a week or two and then I went back out in the dating world Like I was fine, moving on with it. I don't have any hang-ups. I don't have anything that's still holding me back from the relationship. I learned what I needed to learn from it and I want to move forward and I feel like I am on borrowed time.

Speaker 1 11:17

I mean, it's already hard for Stuart Medium to rise and perform. Rise to the occasion. Come on, stewart. All my sedentafil, though, so he should be doing pretty good now.

Speaker 2 11:31

All my cialis got flushed down the toilet, so my toilet's the only thing that's got a boner in my place oh, I guess I had to give him all my viagra I mean, you can get that.

Speaker 3 11:39

Pretty well, I have a lot of it okay tmi.

Speaker 2 11:42

All okay, tmi.

Speaker 1 11:45

What if?

Speaker 2 11:45

my next future ex-husband's watching this and is like oh, adam, can't get a boner, I can't get a boner. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 11:52

First of all, can we talk about that?

Speaker 1 11:55

Can we also not stigmatize using Viagra? Let's be honest, like every single one of our friends does it, and it just makes for and honestly, I think most straight men need to validate it by saying our friends do it.

Speaker 3 12:06

Therefore we, you know it's okay.

Speaker 1 12:07

No but I feel like straight men could really use a lot of help and they don't go get it and I feel bad for my straight girlfriends because they have horror stories and we don't have horror stories, we just have good sex. We have thing horror stories. I mean, maybe you do okay, that dating world, but of I want to do a quick little trivia game and it is titled Would you Date a Guy If? Oh, okay, so that's the beginning.

Speaker 2 12:36

This is where we get canceled.

Speaker 1 12:38

I thought we already were. Would you date a? Guy if he had a piercing on his face, ryan.

Speaker 3 12:44

Yeah.

Speaker 1 12:48

No, no. Date a guy if he had a piercing on his face ryan yeah, no, no.

Speaker 3 12:51

Would you date a guy if he had a piercing on his penis? Ryan you, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, because they can also remove it you're not playing him on the street, just as also we're saying dating a guy.

Speaker 1 13:02

For both, I would say no on the face.

Speaker 3 13:07

I don't know about that. Is this like a nose?

Speaker 2 13:09

I don't need somebody that looks like they fell into a toolbox.

Speaker 1 13:12

Or a fucking fishing line. Okay, we're moving on. This is rapid fire. Would you date a guy with a low credit score? Yes, no, ryan, no, I have.

Speaker 3 13:22

I didn't date you.

Speaker 1 13:23

You didn't. Yeah, I have. I didn't date you, you didn't date me.

Speaker 3 13:27

Yeah, it was a gay handshake. Well, you know what. He had a low credit score then and I did want to go on a date but I didn't know your financial issues then what he did that was back then.

Speaker 2 13:39

But you know, real quick we could learn as long as you're trying to recover.

Speaker 3 13:41

Back then I had a horrible credit score. I have a way better credit score now. People, I okay, real quick, we could learn. As long as you're trying to recover, then I'll give them so hold on, let me go with that.

Speaker 2 13:46

Back then I had a horrible credit score I have a way better credit score now and like, so you passed judgment because of the credit score and you have no idea what that person went through to have to go through that. Like I will fight. I had to go through a really rough bankruptcy a long time ago and it had eat, it had eaten, my credits were to disaster and like, still I'm fighting to get out of that and I'm on the upper end of that whole thing and that makes you a resilient.

Speaker 1 14:16

It's very true, but it doesn't mean that ryan would date you, or nor should he have to. Okay, moving on and I.

Speaker 3 14:22

I also had a bad credit score at one point, because we're all getting in a situation I know.

Speaker 1 14:29

Okay. Would you date a guy if he was still close friends with his ex-boyfriend?

Speaker 2 14:34

Yes.

Speaker 1 14:36

Really God? I don't know.

Speaker 2 14:39

There's other factors involved.

Speaker 1 14:42

We just had this situation happen in our friend group.

Speaker 2 14:45

That's a completely different situation. They were too close. That's what the kind of close is. No, that's bullshit. They were still in love close. They weren't friends close. My ex Drew and I are still there. We talk all the time. There is no sexual chemistry between us anymore. That all played out out and that's all. It's great and I love drew to death and I wish nothing for the best for him and I would do anything for him, but there's nothing sexually there would you date a guy let me let me do it into multiple parts would you guy date a guy that hated pets?

Speaker 1 15:19

dogs hated such a strong word Hated pets.

Speaker 3 15:23

Dogs Hated that's a strong word Disliked.

Speaker 2 15:27

Didn't like. Yes, I would, because I know that I could change him. I know that if there's something that's Hold on, I'm listening, just listen, I'm listening. I would want to find the root of the cause, of why he doesn't like an animal, a dog, a cat or whatever and then introduce.

Speaker 3 15:43

Yeah, I didn't think he doesn't like an animal a dog, a cat or whatever and then introduce.

Speaker 2 15:47

I didn't think why I actually like what you're saying, but I don't like the idea that you're like, yes, because I can change him. Well, but what I'm saying is I can make him see a different side of this. I can make him see that you know I love boxers and a boxer is the cutest fucking dog in the world and there's so much fun and they're lovable the cutest fucking dog in the world and they're so much fun and they're lovable and I could put a puppy boxer in front of him and he would be like I'm sold, okay.

Speaker 1 16:10

Would you date a guy who is allergic to animals like highly allergic, so you could never have any animal ever? Yes yeah, really yes, okay. I am dating a guy right now that is allergic to marshall and it is really hard. He has to take allergy meds.

Speaker 3 16:24

Any allergy shot?

Speaker 2 16:25

I don't know if he's allergic to Marshall, but it's fine, because you don't even like Marshall. I love Marshall, well, that's why.

Speaker 1 16:31

Marshall's never here.

Speaker 2 16:32

Oh, marshall's not here because I'm going on a business trip next week and my mom was here, because it takes a week to get him back to the place that he lives at very, very soon.

Speaker 1 16:41

Go on, shut up. Would you? Here we go? Would you date a guy who has a completely opposite diet than you? Ie vegan. Yes, yeah, vegan, vegan diet no milk, no meat. Well, you know, we're not vegan.

Speaker 2 17:00

so I would try, but it would be very tough for me. Because I'm a red, I love meat. And potatoes, dude. Yeah, I am milk, I am the whole nine yards, Like you, put me on a dairy farm. That is what I eat. Yeah, we know. So you would so hold on. Here's what makes it tough is I'm typically the cook, so for me to have to cook for a vegan.

Speaker 1 17:23

I'm actually going to turn back. I'm gonna say no, okay, I think it would be very hard for you. It would.

Speaker 3 17:25

It would be really tough, but I feel like I wouldn't let that immediately stop from like dating you know, the nurse was a vegan and he did a lot of cooking.

Speaker 2 17:34

So I gotta say, like he taught me how to cook and that's the only reason it really works and that's the thing is, if he was to cook and to teach me how to cook for somebody who doesn't eat that, then I could probably do it.

Speaker 1 17:47

I couldn't date a non-cooking vegan, that's for sure. Okay, what about would you date a guy if he had very different political beliefs than you but was respectful about it?

Speaker 2 17:58

Yes.

Speaker 1 18:00

Ryan, I've done it all the time.

Speaker 2 18:02

Yeah, yeah, I'm surprised. I mean it all the time, yeah, I'm surprised.

Speaker 3 18:06

I mean respectful.

Speaker 1 18:08

As long as they're respectful about it.

Speaker 3 18:12

Yeah, I mean that hasn't been something that I've actively looked for.

Speaker 1 18:16

Yeah, so my boyfriend and I are very different areas of the political spectrum.

Speaker 2 18:22

So here's what's, funny.

Speaker 3 18:24

And it's fine, also now that I'm well. Yeah, this is a tough one you guys don't talk politics.

Speaker 1 18:29

You and bradley do you?

Speaker 3 18:30

I, I think in this case like I could uh, no, we do, but like I could reframe the question.

Speaker 1 18:37

Very politically active person, how about that?

Speaker 3 18:40

but completely because I feel like I could be with like different political like in the us, someone in like two different political parties. But if it comes to a very specific person, like someone, I don't think I could be with someone that's in love and obsessed with trump, like that's not gonna work, but I could be with someone that's republican yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 18:59

You can be with someone who voted for trump, but not like obsessed. You couldn't be with Marjorie Taylor Greene the gay version of Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Speaker 2 19:08

Let's go into that, though this is going to make a lot of people hate me. I will vote for Trump on this next one. It's not going to happen, because I can't deal with Sleeping Joe. I'm sure there's people that are fucking pissed right now as I say this, but I looked at trump's policies are way better and I don't give a shit. He runs his mouth and he's an idiot when he does that and it fucking drives me crazy, and if you put a fucking clamp on that beak, he'd be a way better.

Speaker 3 19:39

Oh, yeah, that'd be no hands down if he had shut his mouth so here's.

Speaker 2 19:46

So here's where I go with. This is like what's, what's? How do I not get political?

Speaker 1 19:51

no, but just, would you date a guy that like was, like?

Speaker 2 19:54

it was like I absolutely love joe biden and I would say you do your thing, dave, I'll do my thing. And yeah, because also we can be respectful about it.

Speaker 1 20:00

It's fine, I'll do my thing. Yeah, when it gets to the polls, we'll see where we land, if you can be respectful about it, it's fine.

Speaker 2 20:03

Yeah, it's your thing, I'll be my thing, yeah.

Speaker 1 20:05

When it gets to the polls, we'll see where we land. Yeah, if you can be respectful about it, I think it's totally fine. I think it's when people are just like you have to think the way I think, better off.

Speaker 2 20:13

Can you have a calm conversation with your partner?

Speaker 3 20:17

about your differences and a whole nother topic that needs to be worked on whether it's politics or anything else. It's true, we'll come back to that later Okay.

Speaker 1 20:31

Would you Dana Guy if he was? We have a few of these that are not in our inner circle but like, anyway, that was more introverted than you and it affected your social life. Ryan, we're gonna go with Ryan.

Speaker 3 20:46

Well wait, you think Bradley's work? No, but Bradley's super social. He's very social.

Speaker 1 20:52

I'm saying would you date a guy that is super introverted? You really liked him. Let's see, you're really in love with him, everything. But he's introverted and he doesn't want to go out all the time.

Speaker 3 21:01

I say no more, maybe that first day. Then I learned that and I think I'd realize it's just probably not going to work. So the answer is no for Ryan. I knew that so.

Speaker 2 21:10

I would, with the understanding of I can go out without you. You can stay home. I'm going to go out, I will. I will fill my cup up with my extroverted energy. You can stay home and have a night to yourself watching tv and fine, yeah, I can, truly.

Speaker 2 21:28

Yeah, like you mess with that like I'm very secure in my relationships and I think part of it comes into like, if he's gonna leave me or cheat on me or whatever, then it's gonna happen no matter what. So, like us separate it's fine and then together we're amazing. I'll I do that all day long. What about?

Speaker 1 21:46

you, yeah, um, I have dated this before and I think it's really challenging. I did like the home life portion of it, uh, but I think it became very challenging. I did go out by myself, but then it turned out to me being going out by myself and not having like a boyfriend. So but I I like to go out by myself. Like, what I love about my current boyfriend is that you know, I can go do my thing. He's not pissed about it. He does his thing with his friends and then we do things together.

Speaker 1 22:14

I think that's the perfect scenario so I don't think I could be with the really hardcore introvert that never wanted so I'll go back to this is with the introvert.

Speaker 2 22:22

Extrovert is. I think that there's two parts of that, like in my past relationship as shocking as this may be my, my ex was very introverted and he did the extroverted things for me so that I could have that outlet and I stayed home a lot for him to get that introvert side. So we counterbalance that back and forth and nobody probably ever done that. You would know. I saw it. Yeah, okay, all right.

Speaker 3 22:48

I just I saw it too well and that's well, and like bradley's also social, but he's also really good about like, which I think has been good for me like knowing. Okay, ryan, it's time to end the sunday fun day what's inside?

Speaker 2 23:01

anyway, it's ryan.

Speaker 3 23:04

We're to cut this off, I know, but we're going to Point is he helps me find those times where I need to also relax, because I'm not always the best at that.

Speaker 1 23:12

Yeah, and you found time to just be together at home too, which I really like, and I do need somebody that does that as well, because I can get caught up.

Speaker 2 23:21

We all need to be grounded by somebody and I think, because we're all all three of us are very extrovert Nobody introverted would want to sit here on this podcast. I'm going to say that it would be very like like a brat, Like it's just, it's not, that's not their thing.

Speaker 3 23:37

It's an extroverted person. Do you feel like you've been extroverted your whole life? Or is that changed? Don't know oh I've been my whole life.

Speaker 1 23:50

I came out with my mom's vagina screaming. She was stressed out as soon as you showed up. Um, you know, I was painfully shy as a child. Uh, yeah, we talked about this.

Speaker 2 23:55

I was really painfully shy is that why you're so loud?

Speaker 1 23:59

yes, yes, my mom was a homeroom teacher. My mom was a homeroom teacher. My mom was a homeroom teacher. She used to throw all the parties and I would sit in the corner and all the other kids were playing and she had paid for everything and she's like, son, go play with everyone. And I was like, no, I'm good. And then I literally was like having panic attacks going to college. I was popular in high school and I had like my close crew, but going to college was terrifying. No, not at all. I was super popular in high school, middle school. Yes, you were a football player. Yes, I was a football player all the way until my sophomore year, second grade. Wait, you played football. Yes, what did you play?

Speaker 2 24:39

Baseball yeah.

Speaker 1 24:41

All the wimp sports. All the wimp sports. You didn't play football in the freaking day. I'm winning money.

Speaker 2 24:47

105 degree heat. I asked my mom when I was little my neighbor Patrick wanted to play football. He was playing football. I was like, mom, let me play football. And she was like, no, you'll get hurt.

Speaker 3 25:00

No, it's true football, but we're speedos and touch each other.

Speaker 2 25:02

that's what you long that's where the horror?

Speaker 3 25:05

you, but on it. You know, oops, my god, this is, we're gonna get canceled.

Navigating the Gay Dating Scene

Speaker 1 25:11

No, yes, I was uh, look, I was when I went to college I don't know what like sparked to me. I finally found my social vibe and was able to like meet people and then I had a ton of friends. So, yeah, it was great. But I mean, I had to really like snap out of that for sure. And let's move in to, uh, the dating scene, which are now a part of and I find it really ironic that I've been dying to do this because I've been. I was dating a ton before I met my current boyfriend yeah, you were hey, what tornado?

Speaker 1 25:41

the tornado we're gonna be talking about that, um, but you know, I think that there is a big misconception in the gay world that, um, it's easy to horrible because we're so promiscuous so I've been dating now for probably like two weeks, I guess.

Speaker 2 26:00

So my ex and I broke up about a month or a month ago, um, so I've been dating for about like two weeks. Um, like god it's. I've had some great dates, I've had some horrible dates and it's it's been roth and it I I just sit down and I go back and I'm like maybe my relationship wasn't that bad and then I go no, like we broke it off for a reason. Stick to our guns, we're good. Um, but it's definitely been rough. I went on an amazing date last week with this guy and like we hit it off and I I was like davin, oh. And I literally was like, oh, this guy's amazing. I was like shit, right out of the gate. I got found somebody that's great and then literally was like, oh, this guy's crazy. I was like shit, right out of the gate. I got found somebody that's great and then I was like what are you into?

Speaker 1 26:50

and you look like you describe for everybody what that so anybody, that's not days like when somebody says what are you into?

Speaker 2 26:56

it's like are you a top verse or bottom is the picture? Let's not be, so top is the one that's pitching pitching verse. We'll do either way. The bottom is catching and he said he's a bottom and I went oh, you're a catcher and right there you look at your wedding day and then you see it all get ripped away my god, with you and dating, I am learning and adam is the biggest fucking sap in the entire world.

Speaker 3 27:25

Like this guy sad sap like you're a sappy.

Speaker 1 27:28

I know Like you're like imagining all these guys, david and I really connected.

Speaker 2 27:34

We shared some very touching shit. We were crying at dinner together Like it was amazing, like I literally was, like this is an amazing guy.

Speaker 3 27:44

I didn't know you guys went to two bottoms on a date crying there's nothing worse than that.

Speaker 1 27:48

That's why you just have to be versed like me, so you can just switch it up medium would stand his job. Well, you know you've got the viagra. I don't understand why you don't use it take 800 milligrams. I shouldn't he was cute, though, so I would have thought it wouldn't super sexy. We definitely have those challenges. You've got to be compatible, and then you've got to deal with all the dating stuff, period, like yeah, I mean there's so many things out there, like when you're on it, when you're like out on the dating apps.

Speaker 2 28:16

I mean I have found, like I, I love a farm boy, I love a cowboy. Um, I found a lot of them and they're like, you're too masculine for me and I'm going I'm oh too masculine because there's a thing with tops, tops one very feminine bottom. They want a submissive feminine bottom. I'm not submissive, I mean maybe, but I'm not submissive in the personality wise of this.

Speaker 3 28:42

I have a very strong personality and I knew this so, and that's out there, you, you can have two strong how am I phrasing that? Two strong personalities, yeah, but strong personalities that are in that traditionally masculine mindset, I guess.

Speaker 2 29:01

Yeah, I mean, I get that, but there's a lot of people that are very scared of that. As our current single guy guy is our only single guy, only single guy now, yeah, um, what are you using to find guys?

Speaker 1 29:18

we've talked about safety on apps before, but, like, what are you finding success with? And I love. Let's highlight the one app that I feel like actually has the best idea when it comes to horrible, horrible platform.

Speaker 2 29:32

So I saw okay, so let me get to this. I'm on Grindr, sniffies, tinder, facebook dating app. I know it's crazy and Archer is it.

Speaker 3 29:47

Archer, yeah, also, they're not all. We can't really call them all dating apps. You call Grindr a dating app. No, they each have their own function. I feel like.

Speaker 1 29:57

Let me also put this out there. I've been on dates from Grindr.

Speaker 2 29:59

Even though I'm on Grindr and Sniffies, I'm not one that wants to hook up with somebody every night. If I find somebody, I want to have some dialogue. I want to have some dialogue on ask conversation. We may end up going out for a drink and then hooking up and that's fine, but I Sniffies is raunchy, like I didn't realize how raunchy and nasty that is. Like, literally, people put their Sniffies as an app and it's it's only web-based.

Speaker 1 30:28

It's only a web-based app.

Speaker 2 30:29

They put, like I am face down in a pillow, bottoms up, doors open, come, rail me and I'm like oh, I have to tell you the first time I saw and I'm not a prude, like, yeah, I have done my fair share in the day and I've done my stuff, but I'm like, oh, to put that all out there like that.

Speaker 1 30:52

My favorite one, when, uh, I saw snippies for the first time with by from one of our friends, because I didn't even know snippies existed was, um, when it said that there was this office building. These guys were in a bathroom in an office building by the mexican restaurant matitos oh my god, on the first floor. It was very specific, in a stall on a sunday and I was like what? Brexker church?

Speaker 3 31:15

gets out. You can't come over. There's a church across the street raise the church, raise the cock so what's your favorite app, adam, as of now?

Speaker 1 31:25

where are you having the most success?

Speaker 3 31:26

snapchat snapchat are you back on the snapchat? I know you're back on the thoughts group. Is that where you're meeting?

Speaker 2 31:35

them. So no, so no, I don't think you're going to talk about so this is really.

Speaker 2 31:39

This is really funny. So snapchat like I've always had snapchat but I never really used it and then I got invited into this like group of people that just share a lot of their nakedness, um, and I put on my like title of my snapchat. It just basically says um, dallas gay farm boy and that's what it says. So what people are doing is they're quick adding me. So if you have somebody that's a mutual friend, they're quick adding me. They're like oh, my god, I'm like I'm here, or I'm there or I'm somewhere, and a lot of people are in dallas, yeah, I'm like. Oh, hey, let's go right now, let's grab a drink, or, which is really really funny, um, I, going back to that is no app is a good app. There's no apps that are good. I've never dated somebody that I've met through an app. I've always dated somebody that I've met through meeting somebody.

Speaker 1 32:38

I completely agree with you. I think meeting people in the wild is the best way to do it.

Speaker 2 32:41

It is the best way because I feel like when you.

Speaker 1 32:45

You met Brad in the wild right.

Speaker 3 32:50

No, everyone, yeah, Everyone. It's so ironic, ironic, isn't it ironic?

Speaker 1 32:54

yeah, almost everyone I've met, and I, yeah, and I enjoy it that way yeah I've met someone I don't like sitting on my boyfriend in the wild too. We were just out of sunday, monday. He grabbed my hand. He did yeah. He grabbed my hand as I was walking out to jr's and he he grabbed my well, I had my other ring on, but he grabbed, grabbed and said are you married? And I go, that would be this finger.

Speaker 1 33:15

And we chatted for a few seconds and I said, well, I thought about giving him my number and I was like, no, I don't want to sound desperate, lesson for you. And then I said you know, we're going to go, not to be desperate. And I said we're going to go to JR's, not to be desperate. And I said we're gonna go to JR's my friends have already gone and I talked to you for a second. If you want to talk to me more, I'll be over there and I was like, oh, we'll see, totally forgot about it. And then he came up to me at JR's and I was like, oh, hey, and then we started making out by the end of it and everything, and the rest is history. We went on our first date the next day we waited a long time and I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 33:53

Yeah, and we dated and went on real dates for the first time without like hooking up or anything so yeah, it was, it was, it was nice it was nice, and all from a guy I met out on a sunday fun day, so so so you're still let's go through the things.

Speaker 2 34:08

Grinder, I feel like it's just a hookup app, even though I talk to people and all that stuff. I did meet somebody on grinder that I'm going to date with on thursday, which he's. He's a very, very nice guy not direct at all, but very nice guy and apparently everybody knows him. Yeah, yeah sniffies, um sniffies I'm very scared of. It's just a very. Can we not look at the fucking?

Speaker 1 34:32

No, I'm not.

Speaker 2 34:33

Sniffies. I'm just very scared of and I'm just I'm worried with sniffies and I just Adam, let's keep you away from sniffies.

Speaker 1 34:40

Yeah, I think that. Yeah, let's do that.

Speaker 2 34:44

Tinder I like, but I feel like there's a lot of fakes on Tinder and I feel like there's a lot of fakes on Tinder and there's not a lot of verifications in a lot of these apps.

Speaker 3 34:56

Arch is Arch Arch Archer.

Speaker 2 34:59

Archer is this new site. That's awesome because it verifies. You have that four pictures up. You have to have a face recognition and it's like your phone. We get the password. You have to put your face in like a really tight square and it's like your phone. When you get the password, you have to put your face in a really tight square and it recognizes the dynamics of your face to make sure that your face and your fingers are the same person. Love it to death. But there's a downfall, one you can't search far out of your region, so it's literally the Dallas Metroplex and that's it. I can't go past. I think, and I may be rolling this like 20, 15, 20 miles is that like, unless you're traveling, like wherever you are?

Speaker 2 35:38

wherever you are okay um, and then, like it says like, put in like tags, which there's a farm boy tag, and I was like, oh my god, this would be great, but I can't search by the tag. That sucks. If I want to find a farm boy, even if they're an hour away from me, two hours away from me, I'll travel for that dig If they're in my room and I can't search that way.

Speaker 1 36:03

I love that I'll travel. Let me just put the elephant in the room. The guys on Archer are really not cute. They're not cute and they're not cute. I hate to say that. I'm not trying to be rude.

Speaker 2 36:16

But hold on. What makes me go? Why is I'm sitting there going? Are the people on Grindr, tinder and all the other apps fake profiles that the app company puts up to get people to engage? That would be interesting to get people to get online. Have you ever thought about that? I've never thought about that but because think of it this way right archers fighting you could good-looking people on there, but they're having an unsuccessful like problem, because when you're a good-looking person you get in there.

Speaker 1 36:49

You're like, oh, but then everybody that messages. But just wait a minute.

Speaker 2 36:52

But if you logged into archer, it's all a bunch of fake profiles that you didn't know were fake and they were all good looking people you're like oh, there's a fucking bunch of hotties on archer I mean, I think that's a stretch.

Speaker 1 37:04

I think it's a stretch, I bet you marketing one and one. Maybe when they started the app that might have been the case, but I think, like most of them are like actual, real people now, but yeah.

Speaker 2 37:14

Yeah, Facebook.

Speaker 1 37:16

Okay, my favorite Facebook dating story of all is one of our friends who I go to the nail salon with often ran into one of the people that runs the nail salon on Facebook dating and it's just like he kind of yells at us and he's very intense. But uh, I just thought like wow, what a small world and I didn't know him on the on facebook dating yes, speedo so what I've had a lot of success with is the facebook dating app, and so I I connected with this guy.

Speaker 2 37:48

He lived outside of Dallas, which was totally fine with me. Really good looking guy.

Speaker 1 37:54

Is this the East Texas boy? Yeah, okay, oh, I can't wait for this story?

Online Connection Turned Awkward Encounter

Speaker 3 37:59

Yeah, I haven't heard it. I want to hear it, okay.

Speaker 2 38:01

So he lives in East Texas and we connected on this Facebook app and I said you look really familiar. And he was like, hey, you look familiar too, and this Facebook app. And I said you look really familiar. And he was like, hey, you look familiar too. And like we chatted for like a couple of days and he was like, hey, do you want to swap numbers? I was like yeah, sure. So we swapped numbers and his name was already in my phone and I went wait, how the hell is this guy's name in my phone? So then I started scrolling through the top of my text and I was like, oh my gosh, we had talked like two and a half years ago and like we never connected. So we had texted for like a couple days and then phone chatted all that stuff amazing chemistry, like great chemistry, get great conversation.

Speaker 2 38:42

And I reached out to one of his friends and I said what do you know about this guy? Like give me the lowdown. He was like he's a great guy, but he ghosts people a lot. And I was like what do you mean like ghost people? He goes, he'll say he'll come on a date and then he'll ghost you. And I was like oh, that's weird and I'm like, okay, what do I have to lose? Fuck it. Like you don't show up on the date, I'll have a date on, stop, oh fuck.

Speaker 2 39:09

So so, um, we scheduled a date when he was he was gonna be in dallas, all that stuff. Because I didn't say it was like you wanna grab dinner out by you, I'll come out there, like I can meet you halfway, like I'm very, very accommodating. So, um, he was like no, I'm gonna come in and meet friends of mine in Dallas, like just, we'll do dinner when I'm in Dallas. So it was a Saturday night. We were supposed to meet at my place at 630, go to dinner at 7, have dinner and then go meet his friends out after dinner, where were you going to meet his friends out at dinner at?

Speaker 2 39:52

the local bar yeah okay but you are safe.

Speaker 1 39:55

You're having a date first on the dinner first.

Speaker 2 39:58

Yes, okay, I knew it was gonna take like an hour and 15 minutes for him to get into dallas. So at like an hour and a half before it was like I don't know like five o'clock, I was like, hey, text me when you leave and I'll like gain some time to be here. And I had a stress to get dinner reservations because I was fighting with them. I'm like where do you want to go? What do you eat Like? What are you like? What are you good with? What are you not? And then I found a good place and then I called them. They're like and I was like, please do whatever you can to just make this time work. I'll pay you, just do it. And they got me squeezed in.

Speaker 2 40:36

She was like she called me back. She's like I got, I got a team for two, so I call, or I texted him and I said, hey, just let me know when you're gonna head out here. And he said, hey, I, you know. I meant I was just getting ready to text you. My friend of mine is coming into Dallas with me. Like he went through a bad breakup and I was like, oh, no big deal, rose, before hose, I get it Like no big deal, brand, and I said, do you want me to add him to dinner? And I'm like oh God, I don't want to do this, but do we add him to dinner?

Speaker 2 41:11

And he was like no, I'm going to just meet you at the bar and we'll just go from there. And at that point so exactly, exactly, note to self At that point I should have went. No, this isn't no, no, no, because you're not. I'm doing a lot of legwork to get this to work, you're. You're bringing me bullshit at that point. So this is where it gets real good. Oh, so I was advised by majority of my friends to do not go to the bar. Do not go. Do this. This is a big mistake. Like you are worth more than this as it. It's not like I'm not trying. I'm gonna give anybody a shot once, as carrie underwood says. So I went to the bar and met up with him and his friends. His friends were amazing, um, great people, had an awesome conversation. Him with me, it was like I wasn't even there, like he would have very quick conversations with me and he would run to go see other people, or like country boy at the big city bar not in and I literally was like, wow, okay.

Speaker 2 42:15

So the next chapter of this, I hear that he knows my ex and he tells me the dialogue of how he knows my ex and I was like oh shit. So then I remember a conversation that my ex and I had about this guy that he had. My ex said he dated, but apparently he didn't date. From the dialogue of all this stuff and I'm clicking and two and two is getting to four and I'm like, oh shit, now my ex is over at the bar. This is not good. Like this is going to go down really ugly. So they were like, hey, we need to leave. And I said, hey, I'm just, I'm going to go home, like this has been a great night. But I got to go. So I went to the bathroom, came back, my ex and I had a difference and I'm not going to get into that. But I walked and I said, hey, look, this just happened. I need to leave and the guy was like, okay, catch you later. And I was like, wow, there's not even concern here no, and then he didn't come in.

Speaker 3 43:22

He didn't come in for the day. Yeah, he didn't come for the day. He didn't come over the day. That's what I told him we just wanted to go to the city in europe. I don't know why he ever bothered going to you.

Speaker 2 43:32

You just needed to go to the big city and fuck around. So I literally was like wow, this was a complete waste.

Speaker 1 43:38

I mean, it wasn't a day.

Speaker 3 43:39

No, it wasn't a date this was a grab drinks with your friends and then you can ignore me what are you his like backup in case he doesn't meet anybody at the bar, then I he'll text you. Oh, now I'm ready.

Speaker 2 43:50

Okay, then I go home and I was hurt by a lot of things that night that happened. I was like you know what I'm just setting up for myself. I texted him and I said look, it was great meeting you. You're a nice guy, I think you're. He wasn't mean to me. He was a nice guy, he wasn't mean to me.

Speaker 1 44:12

No, I know.

Speaker 2 44:13

But I said look what you're looking for, what I'm looking for. Two different things.

Speaker 1 44:18

Okay, brad, this is the thing. This is why I told Adam. First of all, the text string is very long, so we can't get into that.

Speaker 2 44:32

Can I, can I but give me five percent of your time right and after all the text? There was no rebuttal, it was just a thumbs up.

Speaker 1 44:40

Thumbs up on this big text, that was this big and literally I was like I would never in my entire life give that guy so much fucking credit period and look, I get bros before hoes, I get all that stuff.

Speaker 2 44:52

I can roll with that. But if shit, will you know, folds down, I would at least expect like, hey, are you okay? And no, there ain't one. But what hold on okay? Hey, text me when you get home. I just want to make sure that you're you're okay no, so show some sort of concern.

Speaker 1 45:08

No, actually you shouldn't have texted anything.

Speaker 3 45:10

I shouldn't know you're saying he should have texted that. He should have sent that to me.

Dating

Speaker 2 45:13

Well he doesn't care, he doesn't care, no shit. So this is learning 101. I shouldn't have sent anything Not a thing, especially a text, and here's the thing.

Speaker 2 45:22

Hold on, I every time I got drunk I was like I'm pissed about this. I'm pissed Like this guy's an asshole, like I'm pissed. His friends are right, his friends. Everything that his friends said is one track and one point. And I was like, fuck this dude, this is a piece of shit. Yeah, like everything that I could have wanted personality-wise amazing conversation 101. But if you're going to be a dick out with your friends, no, I'm not doing that no, yeah, yeah, he's done that.

Speaker 3 45:55

You're not trying to do anything.

Speaker 1 45:56

But you've learned that lesson now, because I would not have done that at all, you know. So I was involved at speaking of how to date in a little bit of a boy tornado before I met my current boyfriend. I call it the boy tornado because I was dating six people at one time. It was a lot and juggling that is like really hard. But I think also like my advice on this stuff is this is why you don't put so much into one person when you start dating. You have to like literally I like okay, you got a bunch on the bench and you bring them into the game for your dates and you put them back on the bench. You keep them all going. You keep people warm and then, as they become dicks, you kick them to the curve and you try to find that MVP and it's just like a lot when you're doing that.

Speaker 3 46:44

Do they know that they're one of several on a bench? First of all, I'm one of several on the bench, I know, or is it just? Or is it just that understanding, like it's just a baseline, like assumption, I think for most part, like they don't think I'm.

Speaker 1 47:00

I can guarantee you like I'm not the only one they're dating. Probably either.

Speaker 2 47:05

They're probably not willing to admit it there is no understanding that you're the only one until you say what are we doing? Are we exclusively dating? At that point it is a line in the sand and then you are the only one. Until then there is no assumption, because I can tell you right now, while there is the assumption that that?

Speaker 3 47:27

no, there's an assumption that, exactly that you are assuming, you should not be assuming, though. No, not, it's not. You're not listening right, you're not. Not the assumption that you two are exclusive together. Until that conversation right.

Speaker 2 47:41

So I agree, yeah, I agree with that. So, like even with with asshole aaron, like right, um, I was still talking to other people because I know, like if I put all my eggs in one basket and that basket turns over, I'm done, fuck that shit, I'm not doing that. I've learned that long in my day. But you also and this is the biggest thing in dating you have to have respect. So you can go out and date a lot of people, but you need to have respect for every person that you're dating if you want something to move forward with them. And that's where that guy lacked.

Speaker 1 48:19

He lacked respect for me and that's why I was like you know why you're not a respectful person why would you even demean yourself by even like asking him for, like, any kind of acknowledgement of your feelings?

Speaker 2 48:34

I I'm sorry it's embarrassing, but it is embarrassing.

Speaker 1 48:37

And I literally look back on that and I'm like I wish the world was different, because it shows how nice of a guy you are. But like you know, Most people think I'm a dick. I know You're that too.

Speaker 2 48:50

I never thought that. I'm a very respectful person and I don't care who you are, what or whatever, like I will give you the most respect ever, but I also want that respect back. Yeah, and if you don't give me the respect back, if I give it to you, you don't give it back but how pissed do you think that guy would have been if he didn't even hear from you again?

Speaker 1 49:11

he probably would have been texting you because he's been like how dare that guy not text me?

Speaker 3 49:15

I can tell you.

Speaker 1 49:16

That's what would happen. I mean, I'm never you hadn't texted him that night and hadn't texted him the next day and hadn't texted him Like hope you make it home safe to Oklahoma, I can dare guarantee you this guy would have been like probably texting you, but like hey, you want to like meet up tomorrow? Tomorrow, blah, blah, blah. He had fun with his friends and was like I can't believe I didn't get a text from that guy. Yeah, well, he's off learning lessons. Yeah, it's been a bit. You've been out of the game for a bit. I, unfortunately, have been in the game for a while.

Speaker 2 49:45

So, um, now we can kind of help you and teach you how to do the right thing but all right, so let's go into the next part, the do's and don't of dating on a gay app. Like what you should and shouldn't do not a gay app.

Speaker 1 49:59

I think like, really like how you should go on a date, like first of all, you should have canceled the date because you should go to dinner period right and I agree with that, so.

Speaker 2 50:08

So I'm going to go into the app side of this and this is gay, straight, whatever, like. There are things when you're promoting yourself because that's what you are, you're marketing yourself out there to the world, right? One it looks very good if you're verified on any app. Like, if you're verified, then people know this is the real deal. Two, if you're going to post pictures that are just nothing but you and a group of friends, I'm swiping left all day long because you're just trying. One, it's bad for you because if you have a hotter friend in your picture, they're gonna be like oh who's the hotter guy?

Speaker 2 50:47

tell me, I'm wrong I mean you're, you're right I know like nothing, so let me put this up. If I was to put Brett next to me, they'd be like, oh, who's the hot guy on the left? And I'd be like, fuck you, what do I make? Well, I don't want to date you, I want to date your hot friend, brett don't put.

Speaker 3 51:08

Brett on your profile.

Speaker 1 51:12

I just I never had a lot of like alone photos. I guess I did when I went, you didn't? I mean I did when I went to Europe and stuff. So like I got a bunch, I just don't have photos taken of me. I'm not like Ryan, I don't like do photo shoots all the time we got a good one of us the other day with Toyota that's marketing the 4Runner, put a whole group of pictures of every car that they have.

Speaker 1 51:35

No, at the end there may be one picture of all of them what about if a guy sends you a photo with his friends in it? Same?

Speaker 2 51:46

and then it would be like who, which one are you?

Speaker 1 51:48

yeah, but if you know, at that point if I know, then it's fine like if you're chatting back and forth, hey, I'm out with my friends.

Speaker 3 51:53

Here's a photo like how's my day? That's different.

Speaker 2 51:55

So then, that's fine, because then you can kind of gauge his personality of who he's with. But coming out of the gate and I've seen this with a lot of profiles is there would be a good looking guy in the front and then the fucking wackadoodle in the back that's the one you're chatting with the other thing is is like whack-a-doodle in the back, yeah, okay so what are your other big things for?

Speaker 2 52:33

you, you should, you should always have a picture with you without a hat, okay, so that we can make sure you are you? Don't have hair, because I mean without sunglasses, and you need to have a picture that you're smiling in, because I have had, and there's nothing against people that have some jacked off teeth I mean you kind of do, but it's cute and endearing farm boy with that gap.

Speaker 1 52:55

We love that gap. So there's a lot of.

Speaker 2 52:58

There's a lot of people out there that I've seen that they'll have flat, like they won't smile, and then they smile and I'm like that changed the whole dynamic or when you're seeing your glasses it's all of it like yeah, you need to give the real you out to the world. Um, the other thing is, don't use ai generated people like come on, it's ridiculous, because you look at something that's so good and you may be a good looking guy, but you're going damn that ai looks way better than you.

Speaker 1 53:30

God I gotta tell you I follow this guy in west hollywood that I met probably 12 years ago and he's like a little twinkie thing. And I mean his photos I just came across this year. I haven't seen him in years I they're just so filtered.

Speaker 2 53:44

It is unbelievable it's horrible dull filter, because here's the other thing is when you give all these filtered photos and then you go to sit down for a date and your date walks up and goes I don't have that happen.

Speaker 1 53:55

Who are?

Speaker 2 53:55

you? Who are you? Oh, I'm the guy you're on the date with. I would 100.

Speaker 1 54:00

I'd be like yeah, let's establish dating rules. So when you go out with a guy this is my opinion you should set a dedicated time. You shouldn't have your phone out and you shouldn't be looking on. I used to be that person, oh my god, because I worked all the time and now I make sure that my phone is down, face down, and I do not look at it the whole day. It's down before your face down.

Speaker 2 54:23

Yes, yes, really your so. So let me give a couple different things. One your phone should be face down. One do not disturb you.

Speaker 1 54:33

Should should be 100% into that conversation, because I'm telling you right now it is your one shot, going back to marketing, it's your one shot to sell this, and if you can't sell this, you're out Also, like you really learn a lot about a person then and like there have been times I've been like God I can't be with this person because this is so painful to get through without my phone, because this person is boring or not interesting.

Speaker 2 55:01

The other thing is never bring them out, which I've fucked up a lot of time. Never bring them out to a gay bar or to meet your gay friends. One thousand percent. Before you go on the date with them.

Speaker 1 55:12

Stay away from the bar, stay away from the gay friends, for sure.

Speaker 2 55:15

Any friends for a while? I mean gay friend yeah, for sure. Any for a while. I mean like right, I dated for a while, but like I wouldn't want to bring anybody right in here for years.

Speaker 1 55:21

But yeah, it's a whole difference. We, we waited a few months, even though you guys kind of already knew who he was. But, um, I think it's really important to have your own alone time. And then I I learned a lesson myself too, because I was dating so much that I was going on dates like multiple times a week and it was exhausting. And it was exhausting so like when, with my current boyfriend, I went on our first date and I just kind of like dialed it in dress wise, I mean, I wore a hoodie and converse because I just didn't care that much, admittingly not because he's not cute or great, it's just like I was going on so many dates.

Speaker 1 55:57

It was like, well, I'm just like another date but he dressed really nice because it was really important to him. He's the one that grabbed me in Woody's and, like you know and I did dial it in and that was our first like little spat is about me dressing and I was like, oh, I really let my style go. That's when I got the stylist from.

Speaker 3 56:15

Taylor's style? Isn't that when we introduced Taylor?

Speaker 1 56:18

yes, that's what we interviewed. Well, you had already started working with them. And then I started working with them and I absolutely loved it. Um, but then I went on a date with him and he was like, oh my god, you look great.

Speaker 2 56:27

And I was like, yeah, it's because of Taylor's style so I want to know from you what is, what is your turn offs from the date? What, what you go. I'll never come back from the city.

Speaker 1 56:38

Let's see, I think the guys that don't offer to pay anything or split, like, if I insist on paying, then fine, but if you don't even offer to expect me to pay for you because I'm taller atop or whatever, I am in that scenario. That's just kind of gross. So let me pause on that. We're going to go around with this. So if the date was bad, what do? Whatever, I am in that scenario. Uh, that's just kind of.

Speaker 2 56:55

So let me pause on that. We're gonna get around with this, so what? So if it was bad, what do you do? Do you offer to pay, do you offer to split, or do you wait for that?

Speaker 1 57:04

I'll always offer to split if it's bad okay, what about you?

Speaker 3 57:08

if the date's going bad, yeah, what am I offering? To split it, or so?

Speaker 2 57:13

your options.

Speaker 3 57:14

Are you paying, you're splitting or you put more on them I mean, I think I just always start with the split, actually, unless I just knew I wanted it, like it was good, and then I can pay.

Speaker 2 57:24

I always I. If it's a bad date, I'll split it. Yeah, now, if it's a good date, will you pay?

Speaker 1 57:29

I usually will pay if I like, really like them what about you?

Speaker 3 57:33

yeah, I depend. Literally it's I don't know, it's different.

Speaker 1 57:35

I think ryan's a splitter.

Speaker 3 57:37

I mean him and bradley use the splitwise app in their right everyday life yeah yeah, okay, and we still did that because I love about it, because like it doesn't feel, like sometimes you're like, oh, that was just five dollars, I don't need to add it, or whatever. But like you can add in the five dollar thing and you just put it in the app and put in the app and then it all counts and there's no. For us it works. It's different for everybody's play.

Speaker 1 57:57

It's very true, it's very true, but I will try to be like over the top and be like impressed if like so like.

Speaker 3 58:03

But I other thing, though, because I do like like, I like giving gifts and I like paying and doing, you know, but I I really like doing it just in unexpected ways. So it's not just like out at dinner, it's just I like getting a random like gift, like oh, I thought of you, like you know, and I said I love and I'm like I want to give this to you.

Speaker 1 58:22

Like, here you go, I like that gift like I the unexpected I went to really nice so I'm very one.

Speaker 2 58:28

if I had a really good date, I'm back. That date with david was I paid that? It was a hefty bill. Where did you go? We went to the Italian restaurant In Antecca. I don't regret that one fucking thing. Even finding out that he's a big old bottom, I don't regret that at all.

Speaker 1 58:47

You kind of already knew that, I agree. What are your big dating turnouts?

Speaker 3 58:54

It's the phone thing. What about you, adam? Great um, what are your big dating turnouts? Right, it's, it's. The phone thing is for sure number one. Yeah, what about?

Speaker 1 58:57

you, adam, it's where you will walk up and get out it's the not being present.

Dating Tips and Relationship Insights

Speaker 2 59:05

Yeah, so same thing don't say if it's not being present, whether that's phone or otherwise and not and I also will take a step with this is even not being just on the date, but not like in the run of it is the lack of communication. And I'm a very big person. I was, I sold real estate, I've done a lot of sales, I am very on top of my phone when it comes to communicating, unless I'm in a group of 800 people, I'm, I'm on top of communicating. You text me individually, I'm right back at it, um, and I think that that's the same way that it should be, but in like you should be able, because this is a funny story I started talking to a guy and he gave him my number and he would just snap me random shit pictures of himself and random faces and all that stuff every five minutes and it was like throughout his day, right?

Speaker 2 59:51

he's saying it was like I'm just some guy you met, yeah, and I'm like you need to read the room I would be like the guy driving in his car and he was like I'm driving snapping.

Speaker 3 1:00:02

Oh, I'm at the grocery store snapping and this was like a text to you yeah, and I'm like calm down you're not reading the room.

Speaker 2 1:00:09

That's more like I've never on twitter I'm like, I've never snapped you back, don't Wasn't that a text message though.

Speaker 3 1:00:17

Yeah, like is he sending it?

Speaker 1 1:00:18

to everybody. He's just trying to show Adam he was thinking about him during the day. Okay, that's too much. That's too much, it's too much, but like.

Speaker 2 1:00:26

I go back to the guy that I had a good conversation with where we would bullshit while we were driving, Like he called me like what are you doing?

Speaker 3 1:00:40

I'm like I'm driving to another job so you look, oh cool like he's, like you know I got this, this, this going on.

Speaker 2 1:00:43

We'd be like I'm all about phones. I like I love we know I started out like that too. Yeah, read the room. Or can't press it enough. Read the room. If you're texting somebody and they're not texting you back, read the fucking room.

Speaker 1 1:00:51

They're not coming to the table okay, I'm sorry, but you're talking about the guy that sent you the pictures.

Speaker 2 1:00:57

Yes, and he still sends me pictures and I don't respond. You kept texting the country boy.

Speaker 1 1:01:04

I know that didn't text me back For two days. I know For two days and then said hold on, Read the room yourself.

Speaker 2 1:01:11

I know that, I know that, I know that, but hold that. I know that, I know that, but hold on the dialogue. Behind that is I had great conversation until I insulted him and then I felt bad, you insulted him how I sang like hey you're an asshole.

Speaker 1 1:01:27

No, you didn't insult him and you didn't have great conversation and he didn't respond after that. It was a weird text. Oh god, it creeped me out. Okay, I'm glad you learned a lesson, adam, but you know, it's just one guy and he's from east texas.

Speaker 2 1:01:41

Probably wasn't gonna work out anyway so like here's my other thing, that's. That's a turnoff. Like is somebody being too needy, like at a restaurant? Is that a turnoff?

Speaker 3 1:01:53

what do you mean? Like they're very high maintenance I I guess everyone has their own like different level of high maintenance, because when I've been going ordering my over tequila soda splash of grapefruit with a lime. Some people are acting like that's high maintenance, but hold on. So let me get back to this.

Speaker 2 1:02:08

If the waiter messed it up, would you be like this isn't what I order, or would you like?

Speaker 3 1:02:13

no, it's fine, I'll, I can roll with it if it's really off, I think about hey, you know this isn't what I ordered, can I? You know, I actually ordered this like I don't think that's respect, that's in a respectful way to do it. I'd be turned off by that killing?

Speaker 1 1:02:26

I just think it'd be. They're rude to a waiter that would yeah, it's about the.

Speaker 3 1:02:29

How are they handling it like?

Speaker 2 1:02:31

so. But here's the thing like but if they were like if they're like oh my god, ew, can you believe?

Speaker 3 1:02:36

I can't believe they gave me this. This shit sucks.

Speaker 2 1:02:39

Send it back like yeah, they walk out so there's a, there's a balance and and this is where I I get very like. I'm like, if something comes messed up, I'm like, hey, really sorry. Like I actually I come very submissive with that. I'm like, hey, really sorry, I wanted a Diet Coke, but I got a Coke. Whenever you get a second, can you just swap that out? That's where my submissive other than the bed, that's where my submissiveness comes into.

Speaker 1 1:03:09

You're submissive in bed too. We just said that. Oh, you said other than.

Speaker 2 1:03:14

If you were in the present and not on your computer, you would have heard that you would be a bad date for me. I was looking at my nose um, but like things like that, like it depends on you can address it. It's how you address it. If you're like I didn't fucking order this and that's not what I want, yeah, then I'm like no, I don't want, I don't need that. No, because that's going to carry into the relationship. What about you?

Speaker 1 1:03:43

talking to you. Yeah, what's what's the question? I already said, I already said what my turnoffs are on a day. Yeah, but we're talking about if the food comes out. I already said it. Well, no, I mean, if they're rude about it, then yeah, like, even if it's picky, if they're like, oh, it's not really medium rare, it's medium. I think that would be like on a first date especially, like I think you have to be very low maintenance.

Speaker 2 1:04:06

Yeah, because, again, on your first day, you need to put out your best person. Even if you're a picky person, you need to drop all of those guards down and you need to put out the best thing that you can offer with this, and I think a lot of people fail at that no, I completely there's also.

Speaker 3 1:04:23

I don't know there's. So there's like what? What is that version of the best, but what also is like the real you? Are you covering that up and do I need to know that right away? So like how much of that do you bring away?

Speaker 2 1:04:34

So that's very true. You should be able to like look, I'm not saying if you're a vegetarian, you need to go eat meat. I think that if you're a vegetarian, you can be like hey, I'm a vegetarian, like I don't usually do this, but you know I'll give it a shot, like give it a try, why not? But you can't sit there and be like I'm a vegetarian. How dare you order calamari in front of me and you can't do that stuff oh, that would be ridiculous yeah, you've got another one, please yeah, you've got to be next, you gotta be next.

Speaker 1 1:05:07

And now with that, so interesting well you got a lot of dating to do, adam. We have to find you a man. I'm really excited. We'll do some updates. I think you should really stop being so anti-dating. Embrace it, because I actually look, I have been dating now for four years, since my last boyfriend, right, and I have enjoyed the journey and I've met some great guys and obviously like been disappointed and and then randomly met somebody who's now my boyfriend and uh, I didn't expect it.

Speaker 3 1:05:43

You know also, how long is it? How long has it been already?

Speaker 1 1:05:47

we're at like five months now, I know that's big. You know, four months at christmas, yeah, before christmas, before thanksgiving how long have you and and bradley been together?

Speaker 3 1:05:58

this is uh. Well, we met and may will be two years since meeting. Three years in may, right?

Speaker 2 1:06:04

no, two years okay I have now thought outside the box because I'm like, okay, how do I find? Because I know what I want for a type of man and I'm like how do I look outside of the box of apps and try to figure this out.

Speaker 1 1:06:20

And I think you need to look outside your box, cause I think your biggest issue is you have a list and he has to be a farm boy and he has to be like and he has to be this and he has to be that, and I don't think we all like anybody who picks anybody. I don't think it's like the person they'd so think we all like anybody who picks anybody.

Speaker 2 1:06:35

I don't think it's like the person they'd so, right when I was younger my friends used to laugh at me and they'd be like, oh my god, you have the heinz 57 list. Catch up, how you know? I know that was my nickname, right, so they would have. They would say, you have the heinz 57 because I would have 57 different things that the guy needed. Hot, and yes, I have. I have come down on that and I have changed.

Speaker 3 1:06:53

Now there's only seven things One, so here's my sister's probably watching this.

Speaker 2 1:07:05

So here's the funny thing is and you're going to die for this. So I was like, okay, how do I meet people outside of the gayborhood here that are more into like 90s country, the shit that I want? And I used I can't even say this kind of work. I used to ride horses back in the day, uh, back until I was like probably like 16 ish. Um, so I have been talking to some people that I know and I'm like I want to come ride horses again, like let me come ride. And they're like I've got racing horses and all that stuff. You're not going to be able to handle them. I don't want to.

Speaker 3 1:07:42

Did they even ask what you can handle?

Speaker 2 1:07:43

No, Exactly so now I am starting barrel racing training on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 1:07:50

Oh wow, adam, that's pretty hot. That should be your new grinder profile photo, so I'm gonna start learning to barrel race? I've never you know there is a gay rodeo. I'll come to your rodeo.

Speaker 2 1:08:01

That's never gonna happen. Why? But because I don't. I don't. Are we going to the game?

Speaker 3 1:08:05

rodeo.

Speaker 2 1:08:05

Yeah, we're probably going to but um, so my thing is is I'm like I need to get outside of the city, I need to get that farm life back in my life because I'm dying for it and I'm like this is a way that I can go relieve that need that I need and I can meet other people and a lot of people in this industry are women, but even if they're just straight people, it would be good to meet other people outside of our eight. Gay coffee with gays.

Speaker 3 1:08:38

I 100% support that. I'm really excited, I agree.

Speaker 1 1:08:42

And, who knows, maybe they'll have a like a G boy. For you. It's going to be a rough night.

Speaker 3 1:08:47

Yeah, I think it's important for all of us to do that. I'm trying to do that.

Speaker 2 1:08:50

So you know, I said to the girl I said let's give this a shot. I can ride horses, but I don't know if I can barrel race. It'll be a whole other chapter in my life that I want to see. You can ride cowboys.

Speaker 3 1:09:01

He's going to be doing that too.

Speaker 1 1:09:05

Well, you know what, Adam? Good luck to you and your dating. Looking forward to it. Don't fall off the horse. Don't fall off the horse. Get back on that horse. Get don't fall off the horse, get back on that horse, get back on that horse. And yeah, I think that that's it for our episode of Coffee with Gavs on dating. Finally, jesus, that was a lot. I know we weren't allowed to do it before. I know we weren't allowed to do it and now Ryan and I are both in relationships, but tables turned, I know, we can now live vicariously through you and your adventures.

Speaker 2 1:09:38

Thank you all for the drinks and they're amazing and cheers A little pick me up.

Speaker 1 1:09:43

Tune in next time.

Speaker 2 1:09:44

It's time for our pick me up before brunch. Tune in next time to Coffee with Giggs. Thanks for being with us, cheers.