Have you ever wondered what it truly means to live for your children, rather than just being willing to die for them? Join us on this insightful episode of the Steel Roses podcast as I explore this profound concept. Together, we dive into my personal transformation from sacrificing my health and sanity for my kids to leading by example and how this shift has positively impacted both my parenting and professional life. I talk about the significant role support and responsibility play in leadership, and how our behavior and mindset can shape those we lead, especially our children.
Taking a break from the podcast, I recently had a chance to reflect on balancing work, family, and leadership. This hiatus allowed me to reassess my passion for podcasting and focus on a new product launch. This episode highlights how our daily actions and decisions, observed closely by our children, can foster critical thinking and independence. I also discuss the importance of treating others with respect, planning ahead to minimize stress, and the power of self-reflection in both personal and professional realms.
Have you ever wondered what it truly means to live for your children, rather than just being willing to die for them? Join us on this insightful episode of the Steel Roses podcast as I explore this profound concept. Together, we dive into my personal transformation from sacrificing my health and sanity for my kids to leading by example and how this shift has positively impacted both my parenting and professional life. I talk about the significant role support and responsibility play in leadership, and how our behavior and mindset can shape those we lead, especially our children.
Taking a break from the podcast, I recently had a chance to reflect on balancing work, family, and leadership. This hiatus allowed me to reassess my passion for podcasting and focus on a new product launch. This episode highlights how our daily actions and decisions, observed closely by our children, can foster critical thinking and independence. I also discuss the importance of treating others with respect, planning ahead to minimize stress, and the power of self-reflection in both personal and professional realms.
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Speaker 1:
Hello everybody, welcome to Steel Roses podcast. This podcast is created for women, by women, and I have a little special someone here that wants to tell everybody a little message. Do you want to welcome everybody to the show? Say welcome to the show, welcome to the show and thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. Okay, there you go, and that was my little co-host for the summer series. Thank you all for hanging in there with me this summer.
Speaker 1:
So I saw this quote that said you know, in quotation it says I would die for my child. And that's accurate, right, like who? Who here? Who here, who has kids, wouldn't say something to that effect? You always hear parents saying that I would take a bullet for my child, I would walk on broken glass, the gamut. But the thought starter here is but would you live for them? What does that mean exactly?
Speaker 1:
So for the first five or six years of my kids' lives, I was of that mindset. Everything was for them. I'm sacrificing everything for them. I will put my whole self aside, I'll put my health aside, I'll put my sanity aside. Everything is for them and I don't regret that at all, because it was what I felt was needed at the moment. They needed all of me and I could not also take care of me in that same moment. There's a lot of people that don't do it that way and, honestly, probably better for you mentally, because I physically and mentally really took a pretty big hit in those early years. And then, when I start to think about the living for that moment, that was actually the transitional moment, pivotal moment for me, when my kids were about five and six and it started to kind of percolate in my head that I'm their example. They watch me and their father and that's their example of how they're going to be when they grow up.
Speaker 1:
So let that sink in for a minute, cause we get wrapped up in articles online. You get wrapped up on seeing stuff on social media about mom stuff and you know hashtag, mom wine club or like you know. You see like you get wrapped up in like the. You know what are they supposed to be eating? What are they supposed to be reading? How much screen? What are they supposed to be eating? What are they supposed to be reading? How much screen time are they supposed to have? It's incredibly overwhelming. There's loads and loads and loads of things out there that moms should be doing this.
Speaker 1:
Let's boil that all out and really down to the core. You're going to have to lead by example. Now, this isn't just applicable to having kids, this is also something that I apply to my professional life as well. So if you're a professional, listening to this, you know, think outside the box. Here you lead by example. Now, when you're talking about children, it does run deeper in terms of like having to change things.
Speaker 1:
Because when I thought of leading by example, when I first found myself in a leadership position like a true leadership position that I had a whole, I had teams of people assigned to me. I had this policy. I used to call no man left behind, and the reason I called it that was because I had always felt the burn of being, you know, the last man standing in the office back when I worked in offices, and I would be there until the wee hours putting to, collating papers or whatever it was at the time that I was working on. And then, when things switched virtual, I would always be online by myself in the middle of the night. You know, if there was an urgent report, urgent submission, urgent, whatever it was, I was there by myself for the most part, and I always said to myself that when I got into a leadership position, I would change that. I'm not going to be one of these managers or one of these people that has her team working late and while I sign off and log off for the night.
Speaker 1:
Being a leader is is a huge amount of responsibility, not because you're accountable for you know finances or reports. It's not because you're accountable for the bottom line, which is pressure. The reason why a leadership position has so much responsibility is because, once you take on that position, it's not just you and your own timesheet and your own mental health and your own workload that you're responsible for. You are responsible for all these other people. I apply that to my professional life as well as my home life, because to me, when you're leading, you have to show the example. You have to be the person that stands there and says I am going to stick around while you work on this task that you need to stick to, and I'm going to ping you and just let you know I'm here and if you have questions, I'm here for you, because that's what a leader does. A leader supports. A leader does not walk away and pass the buck. A leader supports. So that applies professionally and it applies personally.
Speaker 1:
And when you look at the application to your children, well, how am I going to be a leader to my children? Like, think about it like that, how am I leading by example here? If I tell my kids, if I tell my kids they are going to eat organic, healthy vegetables, or if I'm telling my kids you have to make sure that you know you're having a well balanced diet, but on the side I'm not eating a well balanced diet. Or on the side they see me, you know, snacking all day, like that's the example they're going to pick up the example. They're going to hear your words but they're going to pick up the example. That's really what's going to resonate with them is I saw my mom doing this all the time. I'm going to do it. And so communication and you know, communication with your kids is key but, like, the example, is critical.
Speaker 1:
So, case in point you know, when I had that pivotal moment, when my kids were about five and six years old and I had, you know, the first part of their lives was totally sacrificed, my life was sacrificed for them. I came out of that unhealthy and mentally like not well and just overworked and burned out and a change was sorely needed. And I did. I made this. I made massive shifts. It took lots of time and I think that's the other thing that you know people, people think that a change is going to be overnight. Or you think that you know I'm gonna, I'm gonna make this change today, on Monday, and you know that's it. It's good, it's carried through for the rest of my life. It takes work. So the real thing to think about here is like you know what? I'm going to make small changes here.
Speaker 1:
So when thinking about it in terms of your kids, for example, I happen to curse a little bit more than I should and I say bad words. I'm getting some nod, a nod from my daughter on the side of here. She's agreeing with me yes, they don't need to know the words, thank you. So I do, I do, and so I'm trying to get a handle on that, because they tell me now that, mommy, that's a bit, you really got to stop saying these bad things and I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, I do. So you know. That's like a good, like simple example that I'm trying to get a hold on Eating habits, healthy eating habits.
Speaker 1:
That's a big one in our household. I am not great at making sure that I eat during the daytime, so I've been doing, you know, making sure I have protein shakes and I make sure the kids understand like this is a healthy shake. This is something that mommy does, so that way, you know, if I'm a little short on time, I make sure I have protein shakes. Like you know, there's things that you can do so that your kids can see that you are leading a healthier. You know, whatever lifestyle, it doesn't have to be healthy. I'm not. That's not really the soapbox I'm trying to stand on.
Speaker 1:
The point is is that you want to live your life for your kids, showing them a better way. Now, I'm sure that everyone listening to this and hearing my voice can think back on their childhood, to traumatic moments or times where you were, like you know this happened. It really affected me. This is your time, this is your moment to break whatever cycle it was that was done to you and to make it better for your kid. Like really think about that. This is your moment as a parent to be able to say, like you know what I really didn't like it, how my parents handled X, y and Z situation. I'm going to do better for my guys and you have the power now to do this. So, instead of saying like, oh, yeah, I would sacrifice my life for my kids but then, like you know, doing no other parts, like really think about that.
Speaker 1:
How can you live your life in the best way possible, to give your kids this example, of letting them see this is the best way possible. You know, and I mean, we all have our vices, we all have bad habits. Like it is what it is. We're human beings, right. Like no one's perfect all the time. The twins picked up my sweet tooth. Like it is what it is, but we can do. We can all do better. We can all do these things better. We can all try harder, and I know it's exhausting, believe me, as I record this, I'm already tired. Um, but it's really just thinking, thinking of it with that lens. Like, yeah, I would die for my kid, but will I live for them and how will I show them?
Speaker 1:
You know, even with this podcast, I think I might've shared it on a prior episode where I took about a four week I took like a four or five week break from recording and doing anything with the podcast and do any editing recording I threw. I had campaigned out, you know, my last spring series episodes that I had in my stock and all I had to do really was like I had my product launch, which you guys know about, and you know it's there and I actually think it's ready now at this point I just have to click the button. So there's been things I've been working on in the background and I took this huge break just to see, like you know, do I still want to do this, which is okay. And so I took this break to say, like, do I still want to do this? Do I still want to podcast?
Speaker 1:
And the thing here is that my kids saw me enjoying podcasting so much and they heard me doing it so much. When I stopped doing it, my son pointed it out and he was like what happened? Like you don't podcast anymore. That was really cool and that was like a moment where I was like, wow, like they were paying attention, they did see what I was doing and they are watching me, for an example, you know my daughters happen to think it's cool, like it is cool, like I think this is awesome and I actually really very much enjoy it. So, um, and I actually really very much enjoy it. So that little hiatus that I took helped reinvigorate me, you know, and there you go, Like that's another thing here. That's another example of, like, maintaining a balance, and I explained to my son like I took a little break, mommy took like a little vacation and now I'm back at it.
Speaker 1:
Like you know, lead them by example professionally. Lead people by example. If you've had been in toxic workplaces or you've had people treat you like garbage, you know you don't have to go ahead and turn around and treat people like that. Treat people authentically. Look at people and highlight their skills and help them really surpass their goals, because that's really what is going to elevate you as a person, as a professional and as a parent. It's the same thing, it's literally the same thing. Really think through that. Like there's so many dynamics professionally that you can pull through and apply to your kids.
Speaker 1:
One of the things that I had thought about doing recently because my kids are getting older they're very sharp children and because they're getting older, they're starting to ask to do things on their own. And we're not asked to do things on their own, rather, but they'll say like Mommy, you know, can I do X, y and Z? And I'm always like, no, no, I don't have time for that right now. I can't deal with that. And my son said to me the other day he was like Mommy, I could just do it myself, out of the fact that they need me to sit next to them. Because they don't. Now I'm going to say like if they asked me to do something before I say no, I'm going to ask them to present their case. Tell me why you think you can do this right now by yourself. Present me your case and if it's viable, you can do it. And that's how I'm going to talk to them. That's literally those words that I just used here as an example. That's how I'm going to talk to them.
Speaker 1:
I always like to do that to them because I'm like you know what they need to really start to think through critical thinking. You know, I want them to use their frontal lobe Like let's get these guys, let's get this generation of children thinking outside the box. Let's get them thinking now. Let's make them into a better society than what we have right now. And that starts at home. All of that work starts at home. It's amazing the amount of examples we get from home and then we pull it through into school and work and dating the whole thing. You get it at home first and then you leave the house and bring it out there. So think really hard about what is happening at home as the example and how your little people are going out there in the world and for all the professionals that are listening to this that don't have kids again, apply it to your job. Apply all this to your job.
Speaker 1:
Lead by example and the simplest core that I have used to death you treat people how you want to be treated.
Speaker 1:
Do you want somebody dumping work in your lap at 430?
Speaker 1:
No, you don't. That's messed up. To be perfectly honest, that's messed up Anytime that happens, unless you know it's coming like. There should always be a plan. There should never really be a moment that something gets dumped in your lap at 4.30. I don't care who the client is, unless you're on retainer and being paid to be on call all the time. There's never a reason for that. Like you could always plan ahead as much, you can plan as much as possible and have people in place to deal with stuff like that. Nothing has to happen that way.
Speaker 1:
So really think through professionally, personally, how you're managing things. Are you leading by example? Are you living for these people? Yeah, you might sacrifice for them, but are you living for them? How are you living? How are you doing it? So just some thoughts for me. I am grateful for all of you, really appreciate everyone listening. I do ask him, when you have a minute, if you could just click the review button. Leave me some stars. I would greatly appreciate it. Leave a review if you can. I would love to hear from you. We got this new great or I got this new great feature where you can message me directly through the podcast, which I think is pretty cool. So I'm just waiting for one of you to click that link so you can message me and you know I'll see you on the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this one. It's a little bit of a thought starter there and you