From Regret to Redemption: Embracing Growth and Forgiveness

What if the mistakes of your past could actually be the key to unlocking a future filled with growth and self-acceptance? On this episode of the Bite Size Podcast, I share my deeply personal journey of overcoming the guilt and self-criticism that followed the end of my first marriage due to my own poor decisions. Learn how shifting from a limited mindset to a growth mindset, alongside practical tools like journaling and positive affirmations, can help you turn what feels like setbacks into powerful stepping stones toward the person you're becoming.

Forgiveness, faith, and self-acceptance take center stage as we explore how our past actions do not determine our worth. Drawing from my experience of straying from my faith and making regrettable choices, I emphasize that you are chosen, forgiven, and deeply loved. Embrace your unique path, celebrate your individuality, and take empowered steps toward your goals. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that we are each divinely created for a divine purpose, and you are not alone in this journey of personal growth and transformation. Share this episode with someone who might need a little encouragement today, and let’s grow together.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

When I say that it doesn't define you. Your past doesn't define you. It actually refinds you and how. I want you to look at it, as it has made you who you are. And if it is past mistakes that you have made, it is not who you are, but it's who you are becoming.

Speaker 1: 0:25

Welcome to the Bite Size Podcast. I'm your host, lorraine Michaels, former EMT and nursing assistant, now business owner and wild entrepreneur. I walked away from over 15 years in medicine to pursue my passion and my God-given talents. Now I get the honor of helping other women discover their passions and purpose. If you're feeling stuck in life, unsure where to go or what to do, welcome. If you're exactly where you want to be great, you're welcome here too. If you have faced any kind of hardship or setback, you have found a safe place here. In other words, no matter who you are or what you've been through or what you're going through, this is the space for you. On the Bite Size podcast, we'll discuss life, business and faith. There's something for everyone. So grab a cup of coffee and something to take notes with, because there will definitely be things you won't want to forget. Hey friends, welcome back to the Bite Size Podcast. I'm your host, Lorraine Michaels, your go-to expert for all things authentic, all things health, wellness and discovery, right and empowerment.

Speaker 1: 1:51

Today, I want to dive into a powerful topic. What I want to talk about today is your past and how it could be possibly holding you back from who you are created to be. Your past doesn't have to define you, and so today's episode I want to give you the freedom to let go of your past. The thing that might be holding you back or the thing that you might be hanging on to that was from your past. That is just keeping you from becoming your best self. So let's get started. The first thing I want to talk about is shifting your mindset, and I know it is. It's a buzzword now mindset and master your mindset and all things, and it is. However, it is very powerful and I talk about it throughout my coaching is your mindset and how you need to get from a limited mindset and develop a growth mindset and doing that shift. Well, here is how that shows up in this and why it's important. So what I want to talk about is your past is just a chapter. It's not the whole story.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Sometimes in life, things happen that we make a decision and it's not who we are. We do something that is not really reflective of who we are at our core, and I'll give you an example. Some of you, if you've been following me for a while, you know my first marriage ended because of my poor decisions, and I made decisions, my poor decisions, and I made decisions that weren't in alignment with who I am to my core, and I had to suffer the consequences of it. And so we have to give ourself grace. And obviously you learn, you change, you move, you move on, you repent, you know, you make sure that you don't do those things that got you into that situation, but you have to recognize that every experience good, bad, it has shaped you into who you are today. So those experiences, those choices that you made, have actually shaped you into the person that you are today. And so what catapulted all of this was I am applying for my passport renewal, and so I have a passport, but obviously it's expired and I have a different name on my passport and I have been married three times now, and so you have to show all documentation of name changes and whatnot, and so I sent in the appropriate documentation and I got a kickback.

Speaker 1: 4:59

Basically, they needed more information. I had to go through my records and basically show every step of my name change, and so, while I was looking for the appropriate documentation, I started feeling really crappy about myself. Like, good Lord, lady, you have been married and divorced three times. Well, married three times, divorced twice. It just really sucked. And I started getting down on myself. And I had to stop playing the tape of the victim card. Right, I had to stop playing the tape of beating myself up and all the bad decisions I made. And you play the tape. You start playing the tape of what people think of you, what people are saying behind your back, yada, yada, yada, and it's a spiral. Right, I had to immediately stop and tell myself okay, lorraine, I need to shift my perspective. And so here are the action steps that I want to give you.

Speaker 1: 6:00

For my first point of shifting your mindset, the first thing you need to do journal, journal it out when you start reflecting on your past and you start getting down on yourself because of your past. Journal it out, write down the limiting beliefs that are tied to your past. So, for instance, for mine, it was before. It was no one's ever going to love me, no one's ever going to respect me or look at me as a decent woman. I'm always going to have that scarlet letter because I cheated on my first husband, and so journal it out. What are the limiting beliefs that are tied to your past and identify where they come from and then challenge their validity.

Speaker 1: 6:48

I know I'm not a bad person. I know I'm a fantastic woman. I am a faithful, loving wife. I am a child of God. I am forgiven, I am loved, given, I am loved, and so I had to remember those things and I had to start saying them out loud and recalling what God says about me, which goes into the second part of affirmations. Create positive affirmations that you can repeat to yourself to remind yourself who you really are, and repeat them to yourself daily. And it doesn't have to be some woo-woo stuff, like. It doesn't have to be some crazy stuff that's not true, like. Think about the things that are true. You are forgiven, you are chosen, you have a purpose and, yes, we all make mistakes, but that is not who you are. Your mistakes are not who you are. And then three visualization Spend some time each day visualizing the life that you want, free from those limitations, and I guarantee you that will start to shift your mindset and your perspective and, ultimately, your mood.

Speaker 1: 7:57

And the second point that I want to talk about is embracing your unique story. Your experiences give you the unique perspective and strength that you have. Only you have gone through the things that you have gone through, right, I mean, yes, probably other people can relate and they've done something similar, been through something similar. Other people can relate and they've done something similar, been through something similar. I've walked through marriage and divorce, and I've walked through infidelity and abuse and addiction, but nobody's story is identical to mine. Nobody's experience is identical to mine, and that makes me unique, just like it does you. And your story can actually inspire someone and help someone who's going through a similar thing, and so I want to encourage you one to heal through it, because you can't deal with what you don't heal. And so I want to encourage you to heal from whatever you have gone through, but also don't keep it, because God actually brought you to that and through that for a reason, and it's to help other people as well.

Speaker 1: 9:16

And so what are the action steps that you can take is to share your story, find a group, a group of friends, a small group or a group of church or just a small community where you can share your story, your journey, your testimony. It could be through social media, it could be through a blog, it can be through a newsletter or even a podcast, but you have a story and it's unique to you and you should share it. Which leads to the second part of the action steps that you can take is to connect with others. Reach out to people who have overcome the same thing. Find that commonality and I don't want to say be careful with this. It's not trauma bonding, because we don't want to relive in the past, because that is actually recreating the thoughts, feelings and emotions that you identify with in your non-healed state. That goes into neuro reprogramming and your subconscious mind and reprogramming. That's a whole other thing that I can go into forever. But connecting with people, connecting with other people who have overcome similar things as you, similar struggles as you, and not trauma bonding and learn from what they did to overcome and how they healed and what they're doing.

Speaker 1: 10:44

And then number three is to celebrate your wins, no matter how small they are. Celebrate the victories, the small victories that you have, that you've made, that have brought you closer to God, that have brought you closer to healing and wholeness. And the third point that I want to talk about is that empowerment action taking action that empowers you to live authentically Moving forward. It requires intentional effort, it requires intentional actions, and each step that you take it builds momentum towards your future. I don't want you to forget about your past, but I also don't want you to live in your past, and so, when I say that it doesn't define you, your past doesn't define you. It actually refinds you. How I want you to look at it as it has made you who you are, and if it is past mistakes that you have made, it is not who you are, but it's who you are becoming and what have you learned from it. So the action steps that I want you to take for that is to set goals, set clear, definite, achievable goals that align with who you want to be.

Speaker 1: 12:11

Ask yourself who is the best version of myself? What does that look like? What does she drive? Where does she live? Who are her friends? What does she do for work? Does she own a business? Is she a stay-at-home mom? Is she married? Does she have a beautiful family? I want you to picture everything. Does she have land? Does she have animals? Does she garden? Does she have land? Does she have animals? Does she garden? Is she a dog? Mom, like I, really want you to envision your best life, your highest life, and start to set goals small, clear, achievable goals and write them out.

Speaker 1: 12:49

There's huge power in writing them out and then create a plan. So, after you write them out, write a plan, take your first goal and what are you going to do to get there? Break it down into small, actionable steps so that you can see the clear picture and the clear pathway of what you need to do in order to achieve that goal. What can you do today, what can you do this week, this month, to move you closer to achieving that goal? And then the third step in that is I want you to stay accountable. Find someone, not a group of people. You need to find one or two people of people. You need to find one or two people that you can hold yourself accountable to, someone that you're going to tell your goals to and your steps to, so that they know what you're wanting to achieve and how you're going to achieve it and when you want to achieve it, so that they can keep you accountable. There's nothing wrong with that, and, in fact, it helps us hold our feet to the fire so that we actually get it done.

Speaker 1: 13:58

And remember, friend, your past does not define you. I have made some horrible, horrible choices in my past, but that's not who I am. That's not who God created me to be. I fell off the path, I walked away from my faith and I did some terrible things to myself and to those around me, but that is not who I am. I am forgiven, I am chosen, I am loved, and so are you, and so I want you to embrace the journey that you're on. I want you to celebrate your uniqueness, what makes you you, and I want you to take those empowered steps towards your goals and towards turning into the person that you were created to be. So, friend, if you found this episode to be helpful, please share it with someone. Share it with someone who needs to hear it, share it with someone who could be encouraged by it, and always remember you were divinely created for a divine purpose and there was no mistake in you. Until next time, friends.