Navigating Grief While Managing Your Online Business: Essential Strategies for Entrepreneurs

Losing a loved one is never easy, but what happens when grief intersects with the demands of running an online business? After losing my aunt, who was like a mother to me, and my parents since 2019, I've faced the challenge of balancing deep personal loss with the responsibilities of business ownership. Today, I share my journey and insights to help fellow entrepreneurs prepare for such unexpected events and manage the delicate balance between grieving and maintaining their livelihoods.


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Transcript

Carrie Saunders: 0:01

When running an online business, dealing with grief and the loss of a loved one isn't as straightforward as it is when you're an employee. The subject is very top of mind for me, as I lost my aunt just a few days before recording this episode, and she was like another mother to me. This is actually my third significant family loss while running our business and I feel it's important, as business owners, to really understand how to deal with the disruption in life like this, and also it's a disruption in your business. So join me as we find out how you can be prepared for something unexpected like this, how you can continue to run your business, all while taking the time that you need to heal.

Carrie Saunders: 0:43

Welcome to the e-commerce made easy podcast. I'm your host, k Saunders. When we started this business, all I had was a couch, a laptop and a nine-month-old my main goal To help others. Now, with over 20 years in the e-commerce building industry and even more than that in web development, I have seen a lot. I love breaking down the hard tech into easily understandable bits to help others be successful in their online business. Whether you're a seasoned e-commerce veteran or just starting out, you've come to the right place. So sit back, relax and let's dive into the world of e-commerce together.

Carrie Saunders: 1:15

Welcome back to the e-commerce made easy podcast. Today we're talking about something a little bit different. We're talking about how to keep running your online business in the midst of grief and loss, and I know this can be a bit of a sensitive subject here and I'm going to do my best to keep it pretty lighthearted, because I have actually experienced the loss of my mother, my father and an aunt who is like a mother to me during running the business, and actually all of those events have happened since 2019. So kind of all pretty close together if you really think about it, and all three of them, in my opinion, were young when they died. I know a lot of people die even younger, but these are people who died in their sixties and my father actually made it to 70. But I still feel like in this day and age, that's pretty young and it's still a bit of a jolt to our system, especially as we're 40 something year olds or 50 something year olds if you're in the same age bracket as me, and you don't really quite expect that quite yet you think the person's going to live to like 80 or 90 or something like that. So it can be really a jolt to your system, especially when things happen quickly and suddenly, like it has had been the case for my three losses.

Carrie Saunders: 2:27

So what I want to talk to you, though, about is how do we keep our business going? Because that's our livelihoods. It's not like we're trying to be insensitive. It's our livelihoods. It's how we're making our money and providing for our families, right.

Carrie Saunders: 2:41

But we also have to take the time for ourselves to grieve and to really process our feelings that we have as employees. We're able to just take, you know, weeks off and not really worry about where's the money going to come in? Is my business going to lose traction? Are we going to go slide backwards because of this missing element in our business, which is us as business owners? So how can we really deal with all these different aspects of our lives? Because it's completely perfectly natural and normal for us to be thinking about our finances and our business, even while we're dealing with grief, and it might feel, we might feel guilty because we're worried about our finances and our business and the myth of losing a loved one, because we know that, you know, having family and having important friends in our life are actually more important than money and things like that. But we also need to be able to provide for our families too. So we're kind of in this push and pull and in just it's just hard to really process all these different parts of our emotions because we have so many facets of them when we're the online business owner ourselves.

Carrie Saunders: 3:57

So, first off, we need to make sure we acknowledge and accept our grief. You shouldn't feel poorly that maybe you try to do some work on this on this particular day or a particular half day. We need to make sure that we give ourselves grace when you are ready to do work. Don't feel guilty about being ready to do work when you try to do work and think you're ready to do work, but then you find your brain is really kind of stopping you and you can't stay focused. Give yourself some grace and realize, okay, maybe right now is not the good time for me to do work and I need to just sit back and really process my feelings and really decide what do I need right now? We also need to have just faith that things are going to work out how we need them to work out when we build up a lot of worry around our business or around our personal or around our finances, then we are more attracted to that worry and the result and the outcome of what we're worrying about. When we try to release that worry and have faith that things are going to work out in the timing that they're supposed to, in the finances that they're supposed to, in the healing that we need from this grief, then we're going to find the right path to what we actually need. So I want to encourage you to do some things that might help you get through these situations like this.

Carrie Saunders: 5:32

I know for me. I find that when I'm in a situation like this, I really listen to my brain and my body. If I am really distracted, if I'm tired, if I'm getting headaches, if my stomach's upset, then I know it's time for me to take my stomach's upset, then I know it's time for me to take a moment for myself and I need to process the grief. I need to process what's going on around me. Our bodies are really good indicators of what is really going on mentally and subconsciously that we may not realize is happening on our conscious brain. So we really need to listen to what is our body actually telling us so that we know when we need to take those breaks, when we need to take a mental break, when we need to do some journaling, when we need to do some processing of the events that have happened leading up to this tragic event. And then, when we do have that sense of we feel pretty good and we feel like we can concentrate on our work, take those moments and embrace them.

Carrie Saunders: 6:38

Don't feel guilty that you aren't grieving your loved one in those moments. Most likely they would want you to be thriving and still moving with your life and not worrying in you know, grieving so hard on them, your life, and not worrying in you know, grieving so hard on them. I know pretty much everybody that I've lost would not want me to be really harping on the fact that I've lost them and would really want me to keep moving forward. So give yourself grace and be okay with those moments when you do feel like doing your work and when you do feel productive and when you feel like you're able to, you know, keep moving forward in your life despite the fact that you've lost somebody close to you, and realize that we all take a different amount of time to grieve for different people. I know for my three. You know very close losses. It's been very different on when and how and how long I've grieved. They're all just different because they had different roles in my life and different impacts in my life and different daily impacts in my life. So also give yourself grace.

Carrie Saunders: 7:49

You know if it takes you longer than you think to get through your grief and also remember that grief never really goes away. I've had quite a few really good analogies that I've seen over the past six years or so. I'm losing all three of these people about how we don't ever lose that grief. But what we do is we grow around the grief we get. The grief gets lighter. It doesn't ever go away, but it's less of a burden to carry. So whenever it does become lighter, also don't feel guilty. Then I know some people will feel guilty when they don't have that grief like on them all the time. There's nothing wrong with having the grief be lighter and being able to do your life again. So you really, like I said, you really need to focus on you and how you feel and your others around you to make sure that you're staying healthy.

Carrie Saunders: 8:47

Now, when it comes to business and making sure your business is going forward. What you really need to do is when you do feel those moments where you feel like you can concentrate and you can work on your business, really be strategic on the items that you work on. Likely, you're going to find that you only have a limited amount of time that your brain's going to be able to do that work, so you need to be doing the top things in your business. It's really going to push your needle forward and keep things moving. For example, let your email go. Let that inbox get as big as it needs to. Obviously, you want to scan through it and make sure there isn't anything actually important that needs to go on this very important list, but don't worry about it. If it gets to hundreds or even a thousand emails in your inbox, you will get through that. So make sure you're really giving yourself grace to not necessarily do. You don't really need to do all those day-to-day tasks that really don't move your needle forward At this moment in time, when you have something like grief that's consuming a lot of your normal day. They say that you would be working.

Carrie Saunders: 9:55

Make sure you're doing your income, reducing activities on those days when you feel like you can, and don't worry about the day-to-day stuff that really should be done but really isn't that important to get done. So really think about that. Make sure you're very flexible with your work schedule. You know this week I have had to leave the office early or leave at odd times to help my family prepare for this situation and give yourself the grace and the flexibility to be able to do that. Know that it's okay if you leave work early. It's okay if you take a half a day or even take a whole day if you really need it on certain days. So really be mindful of being kind to yourself when you do take those moments to take a break. It's also great to have at least a few team members, if you don't already have them. Having a few team members can really help get those essential things done that need to be done no matter what during the week. So make sure you have a good supportive system behind you and at least some employees or some contractors that you really trust to help you keep things moving and going along.

Carrie Saunders: 11:11

And you're going to want to make sure you give yourself time to heal and I know we talked about this a little bit, but I really mean it. You really need to give yourself time to heal, and I know we talked about this a little bit, but I really mean it. You really need to give yourself time to heal. I know for me, I was really trying to juggle earlier in this week before recording this episode, you know, making sure that I did the things I need to do in the business as well as being able to give time to heal, and there were times that I was pushing a little bit too hard on doing things for the business. And then I recognize it and I stepped back for a second and I said Carrie, you need to take a break, you need to give yourself some time to heal.

Carrie Saunders: 11:47

So the moral story of most of this episode is really listen to yourself. This is going to be different for everybody out there, as well as every person you might lose. It's going to be a bit different. That's at least been my experience so far and it's just. It's okay that it's different. It's okay that it's different for you versus a different family member. It's okay if it's different for you between a few different family members that you have lost. Just know that that's fine, it's normal and it's natural. So I hope this is really helpful.

Carrie Saunders: 12:23

It's a bit of a different topic, I know it's a little bit more of a sensitive topic, but I feel like it's so important because, as online business owners, we many times don't give ourselves the grace and the space to really be kind to ourselves from a grief standpoint and from getting the things done that we need to get done during a grieving process in our business. And it's okay to be doing both. And it's okay that if there might be some days you're just doing one, you're just grieving, it might be some days you're just working and you're able to do that mentally that day, and that's okay. So I want to make sure that you really understand that you know you best. So listen to you. Don't listen to what others tell you on how you should be when you're grieving and when you're running a business. So just make sure you're listening to you and listening to your body and your health and all the things around you. Your body, your internal body, tells you so much about what's going on in your mind and in your brain that you don't consciously know. So make sure to listen to it, all right?

Carrie Saunders: 13:29

So that's all I have for this week's episode of the e-commerce made easy podcast. If you're loving your show, please be sure to rate us on Apple podcasts, as that helps us get our word out to more listeners out there, and if you're listening on the YouTube channel, be sure to hit that subscribe button. We love to hear your comments and feedback. You're always welcome to email us at podcast at bcsengineeringcom, and you can always find our show notes at our e-commerce made easy podcastcom a website Again. That our e-commerce made easy podcastcom website. Again. That's e-commerce made easy podcastcom. We will see you next week.