Ep. 44 Letting go of the gender roles with money (with special guest Andrea Blythe)

Feeling disempowered in your relationship with money?  Join me as I interview my good friend, Andrea Blythe as she discusses her experience with financial disempowerment.  Andrea shares her personal narrative of awakening to financial self-reliance in the wake of her divorce, a story that illuminates the path to empowerment and leaning into trust—trust in oneself to manage money and make life-changing decisions.  We peel back the layers of emotions in financial decision-making within relationships, reflecting on the impact of traditional gender roles and the subtle quest for permission to spend. 


In this episode we discuss:

• How disempowerment with money shows up differently for each of us
• The gender roles we assume with money and how that's changing
• Trust that we give and put in others but not in ourselves and in the Universe
• Being in our body vs. being in our heads and how being in our body FEELS so much better.

To connect more with Andrea, visit her website at Let Love Rise (https://letloverise.com/about-andrea) or on Instagram here at (https://www.instagram.com/letloverise)

Grow the CEO cohort begins May 1st.  To join the waitlist, click here (https://generatealifewelllived.com/grow-the-ceo)



People and work mentioned in this episode:
Abraham Hicks  (https://www.abraham-hicks.com)
Atomic Habits  (https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits)
Mike Dooley (https://www.tut.com/team/mike-dooley)

Ep. 35 Embracing Mini-Retirements for Financial and Emotional Freedom (with special guest Robert Hill)  (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-35-embracing-mini-retirements-for-financial-and/id1683027890?i=1000645298904)

Compassionate financial mentor and guide to female entrepreneurs so that they have peace of mind and fun with their money in order to live life now and in the future.

To join the waitlist for Grow the CEO cohort click here.

Generate a Life Well Lived website

Generate a Life Well Lived YouTube Channel

New to Human Design? You can receive your Human Design chart here

As always, thanks for listening.

From my soul to yours.
Erin

Transcript

Erin Gray: 0:00

You're listening to Generate a Life Well-Lived podcast. I'm your friend and confidant, erin Gray. I'm a former certified financial planner, turned human design, financial mentor and guide to entrepreneurs. I believe our money and our business can only thrive at the level of our emotional wellbeing. I empower entrepreneurs to feel confident with their money and in their business so that they can have fun now and in the future. On this podcast, we will explore all things money, business and self-development, including human design. I hope you enjoy the journey where I share everything that I know and am continuing to learn along the way, as I honor my heart's desires while inspiring and encouraging you to do the same. Hey, hey, my friends, how is everyone today? I've got Andrea Blythe on the podcast today and she is the creator of Let Love Rise and she teaches using the four pillars of moon music, mindset and magi, magi, magi, magi.

Erin Gray: 0:55

See she told me before and I'm like dude, you got to explain this stuff to me and so we can talk a little bit about that too, because, uh, yeah, it's fascinating. So on the podcast today we're going to talk about how disempowerment with our money shows up with I think it shows up in different ways for each of us, right, Um, the gender roles that we've assumed with money, and then how that's also changing. And trust Andrea and I were talking about this before, of like trust that we give and put in others and we don't put it in ourselves or we don't. I think letting go and trusting like universe, God, spirit, source, whatever you believe in has been a big one. And then also how being in your body feels a lot better than being in your head.

Andrea Blythe: 1:43

So preach body feels a lot better than being in your head, so preach, so thank you for being here. Oh my God, thanks for having me here. I'm just so excited to be here and having this conversation with you. I know it's something we talk about regularly.

Erin Gray: 1:56

So, yeah, this is fun, yeah, so let's dive in, let's talk about if you want to share, like kind of take people on the journey of that you've had with money and how you know, because you and I've had these conversations offline of like how money and disempowerment has showed up for you versus for me and there's like it's all. It's different for everyone, right, but I think that there is a uh, I think people can relate to how, like your story and how it showed up for you how like your story and how it showed up for you.

Andrea Blythe: 2:28

Yeah, yeah, well, thank you again for having me on here today. Um, disempowerment with money is, um, that was like a hard pill for me to swallow, because I know very clearly now that I intentionally chose to give my power away and, um, I did this particularly in my marriage. So I am coming. I'm four years post divorce. I was married for 20 years, lived in a very traditional like Beaver, cleaver, gender stereotypical role type marriage and I knew throughout that that I and I knew throughout that that I, I um empowered my then husband to make all the financial decisions and was totally at peace with that, had complete and utter trust in him and his guidance for the family. And um didn't really recognize until being on the other side of my divorce, um, going through, going through the divorce, and particularly this was the hardest and final piece. I mean, there's so many pieces of picking your life back to, piecing your life back together, especially if it's something like for me. It was a 20 year marriage. I've known him since high school days, was just like my best friend and I felt blindsided by the divorce. So, just picking up all those pieces, I tended to everything else. And then there was continually like this lingering financial piece so it's like you have to learn your finances and take charge over this and, um, and there was a moment and I'm I'm a big numerologist Um, and it was on February 22nd of the year 2022. So two 22 of 2022.

Andrea Blythe: 4:18

And I was at a friend's house in gig Harbor, uh, washington, just overlooking the water, just, you know, trying to catch my breath, like on this road trip with my puppy. I was like, why did I even get a puppy? What am I doing, you know? And I just, it's something clicked. On that day I received an email get this at 2 22 in the morning. Um, that was it that. That just spoke to me in a way about it was like you have the power. You have the power to, um, you like I, I was in a huge scarcity mindset, like thinking that I needed, I needed him to, you know, either pay me more child support or him to do this or take care of that.

Andrea Blythe: 5:08

And it was just like it was this moment of clarity that I had tried to encapsulate in my writing. And so there is a blog post called 222. That was about this moment where I was like it, just like it felt like there was a pressure valve released. When I was like it, just like it felt like there was a um, a pressure valve released.

Andrea Blythe: 5:27

When I was like I am choosing to be limiting myself in this mindset of scarcity and dependency on him, even though, like, we had officially divorced at this point it was a couple of months after no, he was almost even years after the divorce was final. And that's when I realized it's time, it's time for you to come home, face your finances, and when you do so, it is going to strengthen you, it is going to empower you, it is something that you it's the, it is something that you it's, it's the final piece of the puzzle that you are ready to take on. And I don't and I think that that was important too Like there was so much tending to set, it was such a big wound that this was the last part, and it's one that I will still say, that today, 2024, I am still healing this wound, this financial, you know wound of disempowerment.

Erin Gray: 6:29

Yeah, I think I think a lot of us are right, Like, I think that we think we hear people that talk about things on podcasts or you know wherever they are Right, and we hear things and we think, oh, like that person has gotten to a place where it doesn't show up, and I don't, I mean, everybody gets to have their own belief, but, like, I don't know if that will ever be the case for me. I just know that the intensity that I feel in my body is not the intensity that I used to feel, Right and, and I think that it shows up as each time I want to up level, right, there's just this, this boring song that is on repeat, that that it tells me things around scarcity. When it comes time for me to, like what, I'm going outside my comfort zone, Right, and I think that, um, yeah, so for those of you listening or watching, it's like it's okay that, like I think that's part of the attachment, right, Like we want that to go away so that we can feel safe and okay, Right, Versus you know what. It gets to stay there as long as it wants to, and it doesn't, it doesn't have to define who I am, or you know, drive, drive the bus anymore.

Erin Gray: 7:42

And I think with you, know you share your story is very powerful, because I think there's a lot of women that I talked to Like I was disempowered with money, of the fact of like I learned all of the things, I was going to take care of our money, I was going to do all the things, but I still gave my power away to money. Of like we can't do X Y Z because of money, or we need to save more or we need to Right, and so a lot of do X Y Z because of money, or we need to save more or we need to Right. And so a lot of, I think a lot of spouses I would say majority of women, right, that I've talked to, I want to say majority of women that I talked to. But women that are in this position, um, give their power away to their spouse, right. Like we either stay in marriages for because of because they are the breadwinner, right, or we, you know, don't want to ask for things because they're the ones that you know handle the finances.

Erin Gray: 8:31

Like there's just so many ways and and if this is you, if you are saying, Ooh, like this is this, are some of the things that I do. This isn't a problem, right? It's just like oh, this is awareness of, like, yes, you also, I think a lot of you know I, I, I wasn't a stay at home mom, but I know lots of stay at home moms that were like well, he makes the money and so I don't really have a job.

Andrea Blythe: 8:57

Right, like we, we, you feel it's empower ourselves, right, yeah, it creates like a dynamic, a role of it's almost, and I, and I know I again, I think I, I put myself in that position. But that dynamic it's goes straight back to childhood, where you're like asking your parent for money even though it's like, oh no, like I am also working. I was a stay at home mom for 13 years. I have three amazing beautiful children. I kept a large house and two dogs and I did all of that and yet I did. I write like access to the money was always it was, it was asking permission for this and permission for that, whereas you know, like I don't, I, I I'm going to assume that he did not feel the same way, that he needed to ask me permission to spend money, and but he definitely made decision Like we never, we all, we were always saving for a rainy day, yeah, and I just trusted that like that, that was in our best interest.

Erin Gray: 9:54

But yeah, and I always say to those women that think that, right, it's like, in order for your spouse to to generate that money, what would he or you know, however your spouse to to generate that money, what would he or you know, however, your spouse, right, like what would they have to actually pay someone to do all of the cleaning, to do all of the nannying, to do all of the you know, grocery, like all of that right, and I think I think we have, as women, we have um gosh, what is the word I want to say? It's like um downgraded, our like down, like downgraded, or, uh, you know, minimized our value. Yeah, diminished our value. Um, for what we bring to the table If we aren't doing air quotes, right, for those of you listening like, uh, you know, we don't have a business, or we don't have a job, like we don't have a paycheck coming in Okay, yeah, cause it feels like, if you're a stay at home mom, it actually feels like all you're doing is spending the money.

Andrea Blythe: 10:54

And in many ways you are because you are, you are buying the groceries, right, you are taking the kids to the activities you're doing these things for, and all this money, your job is to disperse that money. So you know, like so, um, that's very much what it. What it feels like that if you're not, if you're not bringing the money in, then you're just you're the spender, and yeah.

Erin Gray: 11:23

Yeah, yeah. Um, tell me, I know you said a two 22, but did you ever feel in your marriage Like Hmm, I don't know if I like this, like maybe we agreed to this back when we got married, but like I'm a no for this now.

Andrea Blythe: 11:34

Or like this doesn't feel as good as it used to feel, or yeah, if I think about that, I, I, it really comes back to, um, how we chose to spend our, our money on, specifically on fun things and on vacations and things of that nature. Um, I, you know, have done so much reflection on my former life, um, and one of the things that I've noticed is that, you know, we have, like this, this, uh, saying, you know, keeping up with the Joneses, and, and back in my married life, I feel like we were the Joneses and yet we did not. I mean, and we had a. There were so many great things, like we love to gather and have people at our house and host these spectacular events and parties, and that's still a passion of mine. I love to host a good, you know themed event.

Andrea Blythe: 12:26

However, we didn't travel, and I love to travel and we, we camped, we car camped and we did that, but it was it kind of kept us in this or me for sure, in this mindset that we don't have enough, we don't have enough, we don't have enough. And the truth is we had more than enough. We could have taken that family vacation to Hawaii, like so many people go on an extravagant vacation once a year and they go to Hawaii or they go to Mexico or they go, I don't know, but the Florida, wherever, disneyland, yep, we did not do that. Yeah and um, and and and. Then we would have like, and then I would bring that up, and then we would have the conversation where one evening we would sit down and we would talk about the finances and, and it would go on for like hours where I would start rolling my like it didn't, I was like, okay, whatever, it just became a point.

Erin Gray: 13:20

It's like it's like whatever Right, like it's like, yeah, whatever, okay, nevermind, nevermind.

Andrea Blythe: 13:24

We'll go camping at Clark's Fork again.

Erin Gray: 13:26

Yeah, and I think this is really important to note because, again, you're sharing a lot of you know, like when I was a financial planner and then also friends and um clients and things of that sort it's like if you aren't the one that is doing the money, handling the money or you know, however you want to describe it, sometimes your spouse lives in that poverty consciousness, right, and even though you have money and this is what I have found with a lot of people like we're not talking like, oh, a hundred thousand dollars in savings. We're talking like millions of dollars in savings and we feel like we don't have enough. And that is that is straight from our beliefs and how we feel in our bodies. And like what you're describing of your ex-husband. You know like that, like that used to be me right, like I was, like we've got to get to retirement, we've got to.

Andrea Blythe: 14:21

You know like, save so much even though we had the money right, feeling like you're literally like paycheck to paycheck is what it felt like, yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, cause there always had to be, yeah, saving and increasing, changing the goal right, like you would hit yeah, you would hit the goal and it was like, okay, cause we, we've been taught right, like that there's a number that's going to bring us that safety and security.

Erin Gray: 14:41

Right, it's something external outside of us. We think that if we have X amount of money, we're going to feel safe, we're going to feel certain, we're going to feel secure, and so then we get there and we're like, well, that didn't work, so we need to.

Andrea Blythe: 14:53

I need more we need more Right?

Erin Gray: 14:56

So, um, tell me about, like in terms of what you kind of already mentioned this, but like your gender roles, were they pretty much like okay, you stay at home, you're the mom, you do all of the things, and then I'm the husband and I and did he ever have that kind of attitude? Because this is what I've also, you know feedback that I've received from other people. It's like I make the money, so I make the decisions. Like that has been a a sentiment that a lot of people have shared with me as well.

Andrea Blythe: 15:24

Yeah, and I wouldn't say, like he wasn't like a total asshole about it.

Andrea Blythe: 15:32

Yeah, I don't mean it. I don't mean so much grace right now, like that's, that's big on me to say that Um, but but yes, absolutely, absolutely, there was not. Like if, if there was a purchase or if there was anything, let's just say, over a hundred dollars like that, that went through the conversation channel. He, it was definitely uh like the conversation channel. He, it was definitely uh like, like I would need to get um permission or um, yeah, that stamp of approval, or can we do this or can we not? Or you know, and so my needs, my, the things that I desired, um, were always I would just drop them down to the and that included. Again, that included travel, and I don't think I really knew how much my soul was yearning to travel until I'm in this chapter of my life and what I'm doing and how I'm choosing to use my money to empower me, and and, yeah, like, like you said, getting into my body and feeling like, does this feel good, does this feel right? And is this where the joy is? Because that's something that I have really learned. You know, like I I say it a lot. The joy is in the journey and it's, but like that. I say that not to be flippant or quit, you know, or like a cute little catchphrase, but it helps me with my decision-making to feel how it feels in my body. Does this feel right? It could be super scary, because I am redefining my relationship with finances.

Andrea Blythe: 17:09

I was listening to the podcast I forget the gentleman's um name that you had a couple weeks ago about mini retirements. Oh yeah, with Robert, and I just kind of loved that um, that framing of it. And because you know, when I left my, my very lucrative high school teaching job I say that with the wink wink when I left that to to step out in faith on myself and my business with let love rise. Yeah, people would ask me they're like are you retiring? I'm like I'm 50. No, I'm not retiring.

Andrea Blythe: 17:44

But then, listening to that mini retirement, I was like but in lots of ways I'm, I'm, I'm taking on a relationship with my money in a way that feels retirement. Ask, because I know that how I'm choosing to spend it now is so drastically different from how I was raised, because it goes deeper than it's not just this didn't start just with my husband, right, like, of course it started younger than that and then I found the mate who would reinforce. You know the gender roles, but it's very different from how we used our money, how I'm using it, but I also believe now so fully in this abundant source, divine source, and when we are fully aligned with ourselves and our creator, divine intelligence, that, like it, it comes. It comes like we need to just open up those floodgates and have a different approach to it, instead of, you know this Ebenezer Scrooge type, yeah, holding on.

Erin Gray: 18:47

And, yeah, I want to go back to a couple of things, because I think it's like you know, I wrote down like, slowly, over time, right, like this is what happens, right, it's not like you and maybe it did, but tell me if I'm, if I'm on point of like it, it, it, it feeds itself a little bit at a time. Right, it's like, okay, well, you get married and we, you know, we have this agreement and this and this, and then, like, slowly over time, his probably fear got greater, right, and then your minimization of your, you know, desires and wants, you know, became less and less and less. And so, just being really aware of like and I think this is where we get to slow down, we get to ask ourselves like what do I want? You know, like, that has been something that I'm not the same person, that when I got married 15 years ago, right, and, and what I agreed to or what we decided 15 years ago isn't the same now, and that's okay. Like, we are meant to evolve and to grow and to change.

Erin Gray: 19:41

Um, you said you know, like the joys in the journey, because that used to piss me off so much, because I'm like, what do you mean the joys in the journey. Like we, we've been taught right. We have been taught that the destination is going to bring us the feeling and it's never, it's never going to do that. Nothing outside of you is going to do that, and I remember Abraham Hicks saying one time she's like you can never have a happy ending to a she didn't say piss, poor journey but, like a, a, a not feeling good journey right.

Erin Gray: 20:10

Like you can't. You can't go along life and you know whatever goal you're going towards or whatever you're trying to achieve, and you have it. You feel in your body. You feel lots of frustration and anger and like these are baseline emotions you're feeling on a daily basis. To then get there and think like okay, I'm going to feel amazing now, right.

Andrea Blythe: 20:31

Like yeah, but that is a hundred percent how we are raised in this society. It is like I mean, I used to. I was born and raised in the Bay area of California and, choosing to leave, I left seven years ago and that decision to leave was a great decision, just because I needed to break free of the pattern that you know that was societally. You know the Silicon Valley, like what is happening there, like the creative but it's, but it is on this trajectory of this is what you do, like it's almost like I'm, I'm seeing like a um, I've been in a lot of airports lately, those people, movers. You know the flat, yeah, magic carpets.

Erin Gray: 21:18

Yeah, the magic carpet. So when?

Andrea Blythe: 21:19

you're on one of those and, like, you get on and you just keep going right, you go to school, you get the education, you go to college, you start a job, then you get married and then you, you know, and I knew that I wanted to get off of that magic carpet ride. I knew I wanted to raise my, my kids, and I wanted to be home and I wanted to be that supportive role, like the role of mother, has been very strong inside of me and I'm so grateful that I did for 13 years, had that opportunity. But then there was this constant again that keeping up with the Jones, and then you know, another kid comes in and, like you said, like the fear probably for my ex-husband, like was like, oh my gosh, there's another mouth feed and more diapers and more everything. And then comes the third and so you're just going, going, going, going, going. At this pace that is just, it's unsustainable. And so we uprooted and moved here to Boise, idaho, to relieve that tension.

Andrea Blythe: 22:17

And that's when I went back into the workforce and, um, you know, everything changed and the rest is kind of history and I think a lot of um, a lot of it came out of me switching out of that role of being the at-home mom and going back into my life's work and passion for teaching. Yeah, and the switch that that had for you know, because my ex at that point was going to find himself, was going to discover his passion, and you know, long story short, didn't work. Didn't work, he went back to the money and then I quit my job and I'm now, I'm like you know, here we are like this is just, but it's that change. Is that like that's where I, I think I was moving towards. Is that, like, life is meant to be enjoyed?

Erin Gray: 23:16

Yes, evolving and growing. Like either we're going to do it or life's going to help us do it. Like that is my firm belief. Like either we're going to choose it willingly and be like okay, we're going to do these things and it's going to be uncomfortable, or life is going to do it for you and then you're going to be forced to do it for life.

Andrea Blythe: 23:33

That force doesn't feel so, so good in my body, but like it's going to urge you.

Erin Gray: 23:37

It's going to urge you to evolve and to grow. And you know, yeah, going back to like what you were saying about, like Silicon Valley and like I think I think business and marketing is changing and I think it's coming. It's starting to come from a place of like do you want this? Versus something's wrong with you. But I think that you know old school way of business and marketing is like something's wrong with you. You need this to fix right. Like this is the thing that's going to create you to feel happy, or like I mean, why do people go and buy things or go on? When I say go on vacations, most of us old Aaron, would go on vacation to escape or to like fix something right. Versus. This is just who I am, it's part of who I be and this is just a way to express myself.

Erin Gray: 24:29

Right and so how many of us have been told or bought into the lies of marketing of like there's something wrong with you. This is going to fix you, versus all of us are whole and worthy and love and light, and if you want this, because you just want it to evolve and grow, versus you need this to make you feel a certain way. Yeah, so true, that is so true. Yes, and so I think that you know, when you talk about Silicon Valley or just like all of us, how we have been conditioned. You know you were saying, like it doesn't matter where. I've traveled all over the world and you, no matter who you are, it's, it's fascinating. That's what I love about travel. It's like you meet people and they are very different than you and then they are the exact same as you.

Erin Gray: 25:15

You know, I was having a conversation with a woman in Thailand that was taking me through the streets and she was like she was telling me how her you know, shooting like her family shoulds her to do these certain things. I'm like it happens in America, and she was just like what? I'm like, oh yeah, it's like it doesn't matter where you go, right, like we have these cultural, societal beliefs and these norms that we have been expected to fit in, versus asking ourselves like what do I want, what do I want my life to look like? And you know, it's okay if it, if I signed up for one thing and I evolved and I've grown and I'm like I don't really want to do that anymore, you know.

Andrea Blythe: 25:50

Yeah.

Erin Gray: 25:51

And here we go back to trust, right, like, I think so, and you and I were talking about this offline. It's like we, here we go back to, we've been conditioned that, like, the money comes from these specific places, if I have a job, the money's going to come from here, or if I have a business, it's going to only come from here. Right Versus, our minds are limiting where the money gets to show up from. And this isn't you know, because I think some people can, can hear law of attraction and think, well, are you just sitting on the couch doing anything? And it's doing nothing. It's like, no, you're actually. When you're like, when you believe in something, you're actually taking action towards it. Right, like you're going.

Erin Gray: 26:29

And you're doing things Right Like um, but the trust, the, the amount of trust that we have in something higher than us, like this was. This was what I had to learn for myself, because we did go to church when I was younger, but like it stopped around 10. And then I don't know if I really had anything that I believed in that was higher than myself, and so for a long time I believed I had to do it all. I had to do all the heavy lifting right, which feels really heavy.

Andrea Blythe: 27:00

Yeah, it's like Atlas rolling the boulder.

Erin Gray: 27:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know for you what has been your journey on trusting and letting go, and yeah, no, that's.

Andrea Blythe: 27:14

That's such a great question. Because, yeah, going back to two, 22, 22, like having that ability, I was like, oh, I am limiting myself in this scarcity mindset, I am feeling like I need this from him or from somewhere else, and it's like, no, no, abundance is within you. So that was a message that came to me. And then, and then, working towards that has, um, what is what eventually led me to quit my job as a high school teacher? Because I recognize that time is such an asset I mean, we all are gifted the same amount of time and how I was choosing to energetically spend my time was in a profession that was actually limited.

Andrea Blythe: 28:06

I can look at the rubric and it doesn't matter that I have my master's degree in education from Stanford. They could not care less. I get a little stipend for having a master's, but here's what you're going to make this year, here's what you're going to make next year, here's what you're going to make at 65. And guess what? It is never going to be above $60,000 for somebody who was very well educated, you know, and again, if you're working, if you're working for the school district, because I think people yeah, I think people will hear that and be like oh, okay, well, but there's other ways.

Erin Gray: 28:44

This is, I think, where people get stuck of like oh, if I'm only a teacher, I can only, but there's so many other ways that you can teach and generate money. Right, but we've been taught like oh, you're a teacher, you're going to work and get your pension versus right, I can generate money however I want to, but it's not going to be.

Andrea Blythe: 29:02

Yes, exactly, exactly, and and so, and, then, and then it goes back to that like what do you want? And like I was noticing in my body, like just waking up in the mornings were really hard, like thinking about lesson planning. I was like I just the passion that I had when I came and went back into teaching seven years ago. I was lit up and I was so ready.

Andrea Blythe: 29:25

And then you know, we all know what happened to education in 2020, 2021. And every year coming out of the pandemic, I was like this is the year that, you know, kids are re-engaged and things are just going to work, and I'm going to reignite my path, and I was just like no, like something changed within me and my joy and my drive for showing up for those kids and then offering them the feedback that they needed, and all the time and the effort, and, at this time where I'm just like it's up to me to create my own abundance, and I was like, if I really think about what I love, love, love to do, it's not teaching French anymore. So I it was so hard for me to recognize that, but that was part of my journey is just listening to my body and how it felt, all the messages that I would get, and then just really working through that decision and had such a supportive team over at the high school I used to teach at, or the school I used to teach at and was so supported by by my administration there, to to live the life that I wanted to live Right. And so I knew, though, like I had been. You know, all this law of attraction stuff.

Andrea Blythe: 30:39

I got um, I got certified as um under Mike Dooley's training as an infinite and possibilities trailblazer teacher, and then I went on and did um you know his higher level mindset um coaching program courses and stuff like that, and I was like, okay, now it's time for you to actually walk the walk. You have to lean in and you have to have that trust fall into the loving arms of the universe that you always talk about. Like you know, one of my first pillar is the pillar of the moon and the moon has been such an incredible source of just reassurance for me during all of this. Like just looking up to the moon and the stars has just been like that is where I feel just safe and secure and held and like that. There are stories and messages that have been told throughout history. You know it's the same and it's beautiful and if I'm going to really trust that, then trust it and see what is going to happen.

Andrea Blythe: 31:47

And you know I'm still in a very delicate, I would say, stage of that journey where that's like it is a tango with fear, a hundred percent, because I'm still, you know, proving to to myself that I can generate based on, like, when I follow the joy and I follow what lights me up and I follow my intuition and my passion and my instincts. That you know it's. It's like field of dreams If you build it, they will come, and I'm learning that and I'm recognizing that, but only when I step out of my own way, only when I allow, like this is about the joy, this is about what's being offered and this is not attached to money. Yeah, the money will come.

Erin Gray: 32:35

Yep, it's that. That's been a huge one. I want to go back to, like being in our body, because our bodies are this infinite, intelligent, you know, beings, things, whatever you want to call them, right, and I think so often we look at how we're feeling and we think something's wrong, versus looking at how we're feeling and being like this is here to tell us something. We are off course. Right, we are sent here to feel joy and love, and you know, I mean part of the human experience. Right, we're going to feel sadness and grief and anger and all of that. Right, but on a daily basis, like if you were to list your top three emotions frustration and anger and fear is not what God, universe source sent you to feel and be here and and and play with on a daily basis. So if you, if you are to, you know, look at how you're feeling on a daily basis and those are some of I call it, you know, those lower vibration emotions, they're not negative emotions, they're not bad emotions they're alerting.

Erin Gray: 33:40

Yeah, they're, you know they're, they are there to show you. And I mean that was the same for me, like I had to look and be like, okay, I'm frustrated all day, every day. And Andrea and I are both generators, right, like that is our telltale sign, like we are way off course. Right, like, sister, you got to get back on course, cause this is not, this is not what you are, you know, meant here to be, came here to be, and and and meant to do you know, and so, following that joy, because I think here we go back to societal conditioning. We've been so taught that you go and you make money. And then you, what do you think retirement's about? Retirement's about go and make money and then you get to enjoy your money at some point in the future, which, when your body might not. I could totally go down a rabbit hole on retirement, like how?

Erin Gray: 34:22

many people actually get to actually retire right Versus? How are you feeling and what does your life look like on a daily basis? Like when people are like, well, how's your weekend? I'm like there's no weekend to me anymore. Like every day is. Is a weekend day to me? Or what society would deem Right? Because? Right Because if you're waking up and you're doing stuff you don't want to do, asking yourself why, like really slowing down, to ask yourself like, why am I doing this? And a lot of us the answer will be money. It is.

Andrea Blythe: 34:55

It is because for me, like with the teaching job, that paycheck it is because for me, like with the teaching job, that paycheck, you know, and obviously medical benefits that came with it that was worth it, even though I knew like it was limited, like I I was only going to get this much, but I was working this hard and it didn't matter how great of a teacher I could show up in my sweats and show movies or I can teach, you know, the most interactive, amazing, comprehensive lesson, and it didn't matter. It didn't matter Like this is what you're going to get paid. And then you really, yeah, you have to question that time and like, is this the best use of my gifts and the best use of my time? And when I realized that the answers were no and no, then I realized I'm doing an actual disservice to this school and to these students and to this community for me to show up in this capacity, because life is pointing me in a new direction and I think a lot of us got pointed in a new direction in 2020, 2021.

Andrea Blythe: 36:08

That was a pretty big shakeup, you know, like it just really illuminate a lot of things and, of course, I went through the divorce. During all of that and my whole life, you know just I, I, I apparently chose the path of let's have a really hard, forced lesson, which, by the way, I don't recommend. There are gentler ways to do it, people. But if you want the hard lesson, um, ignore, ignore, ignore your yourself, your intuition, your gut. Um, just try to keep the peace. You know that's what I do, uh, and then, yeah, take a deep breath get ready.

Erin Gray: 36:46

You said something like it was worth it, like the, because this is a lot of. This keeps a lot of people from starting their own business. Right, like, well, I have health insurance, or you know, and, and there's so many ways to to like, open yourself up to the possibility of like you know, if there were infinite possibilities, what would you know? Like, just start opening that, that discussion or that, because I think we've been here, we go back to, we've been taught like health insurance is so important. I mean, my gosh, we just recently changed from global insurance to. It's not even called health insurance, it's called cost sharing, I think, which is basically, you know, you have people that are healthy and we all pay in and but the.

Erin Gray: 37:33

I mean I was paying $1,300 a month for never going to the doctor and I'm like, here we go back to values. Right, for some of us, you might value that. That is not a strong value of mine to have you know, when I'm healthy and I don't go to the doctor, to be paying that amount, you know. And so it's just really getting clear on like, what are your values? What do you value? How do you want to use your money? And there's no right or wrong way and I think we've been taught. We have been taught like everybody needs health insurance, you know everybody needs X, y, z, it's like. But what if we don't like? What if we? Or if we do, we want to do it differently. Like there's so many different ways to to look at things and to not have you know those things as a limitation as to why we don't want to follow and do what we truly want to do and the fear is just, it's, it's huge.

Andrea Blythe: 38:25

Like I, I I love feeling safe and secure. I'm a Taurus Like. I love security, like that is my signature, and so throwing myself intentionally into a very insecure experience is is so scary and I know. I know that I am worth it and I know that the universe is going to meet me there. I know that I am going to be supported in ways that are unexpected and it's just and it is. It's a constant thing, like I mean, if you step into my house you will see affirmations all over, like on my refrigerator there's one that says that I am financially wealthy now and I see that every time I open my fridge I am financially wealthy Now. I'm just constantly reminding myself that I have access.

Andrea Blythe: 39:22

I am the co-creator of my life. We all are. We are all creating the life that we are living right now, which I understand for some people to hear. That is really hard, because you might be in a really tough place right now. I have been there. I have seen my world crumble in front of me and I had to really step back and be like what's my part in this? Because how did I create it? Our thoughts really do become our thing.

Andrea Blythe: 39:50

So, for the powerful co-creators of our life, it is worthwhile to spend two, three minutes every morning before getting out of bed just to visualize the day ahead, and it could be from. It could be super mundane. If you have to go to the grocery store, visualize the joyful connections that you're going to have there or that you pick a line where there is. You know it moves quickly and fast and it's a very pleasant and inner counter with the sales clerk. You know like we can just intentionally think about what it is that we want to create throughout our day and it goes from the small to the huge and and and that financial piece and just reminding ourselves that, no, I am, I am I. I have the ability to create the life that I want to live. Yeah, I mean, and that I think that's the ability to create the life that I want to live.

Erin Gray: 40:40

Yeah, I mean, and that I think that's the best news, because for some people, they'll be like oh, you know, like, when you hear that, like you said, that's the best news because if you created that, you can create something else, right? Like I remember, my first coach was like well, you're all pissed off about you know where, how you're working and in your family's business, and all this. Like, you created that. So the best news is you get to recreate something different if you don't like it. Right. And that feels so much more empowering than like this is just the way that it is, this is just the way that it has to be.

Erin Gray: 41:09

And I want to go back to fear, because I think that we can have a really tender and strong relationship with fear, because I believe that fear is always showing us something. And the more that we practice the reason why feet, the reason why we fear fear, right, oh, we don't want to feel fear is because of the way it feels in our bodies. Yeah, but the more that we practice feeling it, the more. And I always like compare this to like lifting weights right, like if you're going to. I always like compare this to like lifting weights right, like if you're going to go and you're going to start lifting weights and you're going to deadlift, you are not going to go to the gym and just start lifting 150 pound, deadlift, right. You're going to go to the gym and you're going to be like where do I deadlift? And you, that might be all you do for the first day right, and then the next day you might be like okay, well, how do I deadlift, right?

Erin Gray: 41:57

And so it's the same thing with fear of like. We have been so conditioned like, oh, don't be scared, oh, no, no, it's going to be okay, right. Versus embracing it to just be like what is this fear Like? I would ask myself, like, what is this fear trying to show me what needs to be seen, that I've pushed down, you know, like, and allowing it to come up? And and for some of us, you know, this is how I had to start like 30 seconds in the beginning, because it was really intense in my body, right. And and the more that we are practiced at feeling like that's why we call them the lower vibration emotions, because we aren't used to feeling that right but the more like, why do we want to feel? Why do we want to feel joy? Cause it feels better. But if we're just practiced at feeling disappointment and fear and sadness and grief, then it it's just how it feels in our body and we're just not as practiced at it. So you know, really getting to befriend fear.

Andrea Blythe: 42:53

Yes, that's what I was going to say. I. I see fear nowadays as um my seven-year-old self, the little girl whose parents went through divorce at that age and it was really scary. All my stability was rocked at a very young age. And when I recognize that that's really where fear, that insecurity, comes from, that pain point, and I can lovingly look at that little girl and say I hear you, I know you're trying to keep me safe and protected and secure, but I'm in the driver's seat of my life right now, so you can get in the back seat. Here's your juice box, here's your snack. I'm going to buckle you in. You're going to be okay, Thank you.

Andrea Blythe: 43:35

And I think you know that the gen and that's how I can be compassionate and gentle with myself, instead of because it's super easy going to be okay, Thank you. You know that the gen and that's how I can be compassionate and gentle with myself, instead of because it's super easy also to be like geez, you know why the F am I like, like doing this again. I thought I, I thought I got through this. I like why am I being? You know, and we can beat ourselves up. It's like no, no, we don't need to do that either.

Erin Gray: 43:57

Yeah, the seven-year-old probably needed to hear like it's going to be okay. Yeah, I love you.

Erin Gray: 44:04

It's going to be okay, You're going to be okay, and I got you, you know, and, and I think that that is I was just talking to someone earlier before our podcast about inner child, you know, and it's just like those are the parts of us that maybe didn't get what we needed in that moment, and so it's okay, Right, Like, how do you want to speak to yourself when it's right, Like we, we do have a choice. You can beat yourself up, which feels terrible in our bodies, or you can tenderly and lovingly turn towards it and ask yourself, like, what do you need right now? You know what, what is what are you, you know, asking that maybe you're not receiving, or you know all of that, just tenderness, hand on heart. You know, like, it's okay, I see you. Thank you for sharing with me. No, um, that little, that little girl or boy within us that you know didn't get, maybe didn't get that reassurance that we, that we were, we were wanting and searching for.

Andrea Blythe: 44:55

Right, yeah, and I think I think it's important to point out the difference between fear and courage, because I used to, when I started, let love rise, like the first tagline I had, for it was helping you become fearlessly authentic is what I call it fearlessly authentic? And and then it like hit me. I was like dude, that is so not right. Like I mean, the fear is there.

Andrea Blythe: 45:25

The courage is to take the small step to step into the gym, like you said, like day one step in the gym. Where is the dead lifting space? Like that's courage is just taking that small step, like, and not allowing the fear to prevent you from doing it, because we all share the same fears, we all have different dreams for ourselves, but that fear is, um, it's just so important to recognize, like I see you, you're here, you're real, you're going to be with me on this journey actually, and that's okay. And you know, the 50 year old in me that has lived this life and have had these experiences is trying something different. Yeah, and I'm going to take a step forth in courage, which has an underbelly of faith and trust. Yeah, and I in myself and in something greater, not just in something greater, but also in myself, like I can do this.

Erin Gray: 46:21

Yeah, I think I always say like we don't talk enough about like willingness and courage and allowing you know like courage is such a huge one, because I think, like exactly what you said, a lot of us and you see all these t-shirts it's like be fearless. It's like that literally I don't know if that can actually happen. Like we are human with our mind and literally I don't know if that can actually happen.

Andrea Blythe: 46:42

Like we are human with our mind and, like I don't think that that's the case. The only way that you can be fearless is if you're playing small because you don't, if you're not allowing fear into your life. I could be wrong on this, but, like, if you're not allowing fear in your life, I feel like you are playing so safe and and so small. And then and then just to question yourself like how does that? How how does it feel again in your body? Like how does that if you're not?

Erin Gray: 47:06

feeling what just came to me. I'm like if you're not feeling fear, then you are for sure going to feel some other lower vibration emotion.

Andrea Blythe: 47:12

You're going to feel jealousy. You're going to feel you're going to feel.

Erin Gray: 47:15

You're going to feel, you know, anger because you're you are wanting to, you know you're wanting to evolve and grow Right, and so it's like fear is part of it and so, like, you say like, and I think we, you know you see these movies and it's like bravery and it's just like go do the thing. It's like no, like we're scared and we still do it Right, we, it just comes along. You know the ride with us versus thinking it has to be like eradicated. I think a lot of it you know, it's.

Erin Gray: 47:44

It's, it's like the same thing with our ego or our mind or whatever. However you want to describe it. It's like we. We don't have to take control of it, we don't have to tell it how it needs to be. It's just like oh, it can just, it can chatter all the way to where we're going from the backseat though that's how you say. You're getting the backseat, yeah, yeah. So anything else that you want to share that maybe I, I missed, and then also like where people can find you. But if you have anything else that you want to like share that, um, um, talk about.

Andrea Blythe: 48:13

Yeah, no, this is. This has been a great conversation. I, I, I, I love, um, I love just the direction of it and just how we can recognize, like, where we give parts of ourselves away, um, how, how we, um, how we are writing our stories. So that's, that's a big, that's a big part of my work is, um, you Let Love Rise, developed out of me, processing through my grief, through storytelling, like taking snippets of my life and being like, okay, this just happened, what was that all about? There's got to be something in this that I can learn from and that maybe I can help inspire other people to learn from this, inspire other people to to learn from this. So so, yeah, I'm just like continually, I think that's the other thing. Is that just, it's, it's a continual process, it's not.

Andrea Blythe: 49:04

You know, again, I'm going to go back to that flippant little phrase joy is in the journey, but you know, the journey is as long as we have our inner drumbeat going and the breath in our lungs, like we're on this journey through life, and so it's just what's over the next hill and the next hill and the next hill, and just constantly checking in with ourselves and constantly releasing and letting go and surrendering and forgiving, and that is just something that I wish it were a one and done, but I'm recognizing it's just like. That's why I love the moon so much. The moon is constantly phasing, it's constant state of change and it's a reflection of us. The moon rules over our physical bodies and our emotional state, and it is it's like I'm constantly changing, and so so are you, and it's a beautiful thing just to to remember that this is an unfolding, it is a journey, and it's a journey that we can enjoy.

Erin Gray: 50:11

Yeah, I love that. I love that because I think about too, of like we do have a choice. Like right, we can look at something. We can look at the journey with fear and like, oh my goodness, what's going to happen, and all of that. Or we can look at it like how we used to as children, right Of wonder and anticipation and excitement and curiosity, and like what's it going to be. Like Right, and, and it is a choice, right it is, that choice comes from practice, right it? Just, if you're more practice and fear, which is how I used to be, then that's, it's okay and we just change it.

Erin Gray: 50:49

But, like we, can look at like life of like what, what is today going to bring? Like, yeah, so fun, you know. And back to our bodies, like, and it just feels so much better when you come to it from that place.

Andrea Blythe: 50:57

Yeah.

Erin Gray: 50:58

Yeah, absolutely, it's like an exhale it is. It is like like yeah, yeah, yeah. So where can people find you, learn more about you? All of the things share Awesome.

Andrea Blythe: 51:13

So let love risecom is the hub for everything. Under letloverisecom you'll see the moon and that's where I post videos, usually new moon and full moon videos and little stories. I'm definitely a storyteller when it comes to the moon, so just sharing little quips of insight, the moon music mindset and the Magi it's all there so you can see events. Right now I have a special offering for people called cosmic calendar control. So this is one of the things that the Magi, which we didn't talk much about, but it's, you know, just using a standard deck of cards to cause.

Andrea Blythe: 51:54

It is an actual calendar um, based on your birth date, on the day of the week that you were born. It helps you understand the energies, um, how to align yourself. So it's just, it's one of those small shifts, right, it's like atomic habits. Also, it's like when you want, when, when, when you recognize that where you are is not where you ultimately want to be, whatever it is in your body is speaking to you and showing you that it's like, okay, well, I'm not going to go from A to Z, like I'm not like a quantum jump, but from A to B.

Andrea Blythe: 52:32

It could be just looking at the energies, like the cosmic calendar control and knowing that for me, like Wednesdays, which is today, is my Mercury day. It's my communication day. I absolutely love that we are having a conversation on a Mercury day. That is for me, and so I know that that is a well-suited day for me to send emails or have conversations, and that's just one small thing. So you can find that also on let love rise. The cosmic calendar control, um yeah, but everything is there, okay.

Erin Gray: 53:00

Everything is good. Thank you for coming on and sharing your knowledge and your story and all of the things, and for those of you listening or watching, thank you for sharing your time with us. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for tuning in today. I appreciate you spending your time with me. I created grow the CEO cohort for the entrepreneur that wants to be in a community with other heart based entrepreneurs. It's a place where we blend the 3d of money, like understanding your bookkeeping and taxes and investing and how it applies to your business, along with the 5d of money, like the energetics and the emotions that you feel with money. To learn more about grow the CEO cohort, you can head over to my website at generate a life well-livedcom and, as always, from my soul to yours.