Ep. 51 Transforming Financial Literacy (with special guest Tania Vasallo)

On this podcast episode, Tania Vasallo, host of The Courage to Be Podcast and I discuss our relationship with money and how that plays out in our business and our lives.


In this episode we discuss:

• Tania's Background and Relationship with Money
• Creating a Safe Space to Talk About Money
• Being Aware of Limiting Beliefs Around Money
• The Importance of Doing Inner Work with Money
• Empowering the Next Generation with Money

Books and Websites we mentioned on this podcast:

• Agora Financial (https://agorafinancial.com)
• The Motley Fool (https://www.fool.com)
• The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity by Edwene Gaines (https://edwenegaines.wwwhubs.com)

You can connect with Tania in a couple of ways:

• Her website here (https://www.thecouragetobehappy.com)
• Download her free guide "Women's Top Money Mistakes" here (https://taniavasallo.lpages.co/womens-top-mistakes/)  
• Tania's Podcast: "The Courage to Be"  (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-courage-to-be/id1664543123)

Compassionate financial mentor and guide to female entrepreneurs so that they have peace of mind and fun with their money in order to live life now and in the future.

To join the waitlist for Grow the CEO cohort click here.

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Generate a Life Well Lived YouTube Channel

New to Human Design? You can receive your Human Design chart here

As always, thanks for listening.

From my soul to yours.
Erin

Transcript

Erin Gray: 0:00

You're listening to Generate a Life Well-Lived podcast. I'm your friend and confidant, erin Gray. I'm a former certified financial planner, turned human design, financial mentor and guide to entrepreneurs. I believe our money and our business can only thrive at the level of our emotional wellbeing. I empower entrepreneurs to feel confident with their money and in their business so that they can have fun now and in the future. On this podcast, we will explore all things money, business and self-development, including human design.

Erin Gray: 0:29

I hope you enjoy the journey where I share everything that I know and am continuing to learn along the way, as I honor my heart's desires while inspiring and encouraging you to do the same. Hey, hey everyone, how are you today? I've got Tanya Visayo on the podcast today and she is the host of the Courage to Be podcast, and she and I have very similar missions, and her mission is to empower entrepreneurs, teaching them how to master their mindset and achieve success in life and business without burning out along the way, which I think so many of us right. It's that delicate balance. So on today's podcast, we're going to talk about burnout, we're going to talk about money and, um, also like just being ambitious, or I should say, toning down the ambition, so that we can, like you know, along our journey, we can still have what we want and have a lot of fun. So, tanya, thank you so much for being here, and I'm so grateful that you're sharing your time with us.

Tania Vasallo: 1:24

Thank you, I'm excited. I'm excited for our conversation and see where it goes to.

Erin Gray: 1:29

Yeah, so you want to dive in and talk about your experience, because one of the things that I have always said about the podcast is I want people to listen and to be like, hey, you know what? I'm not the only one that's experienced that, and so I share a lot of my journey and my experience on the podcast, and so I would love it if you would open to sharing your experience with money and how you know you've been able to kind of transform and change that, as well as some of the clients that you've worked with and how that you know it shows up for them as well. Like we all I think a lot of us all experience the same thing.

Tania Vasallo: 2:06

Yeah Well, uh okay, let's see I'll. I'll give you the the background so you understand a little bit of where my relationship with money has stemmed from. So I was born and raised in Spain at the end of Franco's dictatorship, so there was a lot of the remnants of patriarchy. And to add to that, also in my family, because my dad's seven brothers and one sister the sister is the youngest so very male dominated and you know, just success was, you know, supposed to mean the men and the family, the women were kind of there as being more subservient and helping out and raising the kids. And but the flip side of that is that my mom's American. So, even though I was born and raised in Spain, I had the opportunity to come and live here in the States because I have double nationality and I wanted to be here in the States as an adult and then I ended up getting married with an American man. So I've just been here for the last whatever 20 something years, and so money was definitely not something that was talked about in Spain.

Tania Vasallo: 3:20

You know, as a different culture, I think certain things overlap, like here in the States, but it just it wasn't talked about. You didn't ask people what salaries they made. There was never a spoken directly, but there was like an unspoken language of just a man is a financial plan. Basically, you know it's like you'll grow up and you will marry a man that knows about finances and he'll take care of you and the family. You know it's like you'll grow up and you will marry a man that knows about finances and he'll take care of you and the family. You just do your part and he'll do his part. Like the roles were very defined and and if you don't marry, if you're not lucky enough to marry a man, then your dad or your brother or your uncle will take care of you, and when the dad's not in the picture, it'll be your brother. If you don't have a brother, which is my case, then it'll be an uncle or something, but it's always like a male figure that's the one that's going to be in charge. Or these were my beliefs and then my upbringing. Because, it's interesting, I speak with some of my cousins, wives or other women in Spain that are friends of mine and they don't have the same perspective. So this is my particular perspective, meaning that I gave growing up to all these things. But anyway, I was here in the States and I started my own business in 2015,. I think it was towards the end of 2015. And I was learning all about business and business, and business.

Tania Vasallo: 4:49

But one of the main things is, when you're running a business, in order for it to be successful and to know that you're running a business, you have to have a good relationship with money, because business is all about money, it's about exchanging money, so there's no way around it. Like, as much as you want to avoid the subject, you can't. It's kind of like saying, well, you know what, I'm going to ignore health. I really I'm not into health. I don't want to learn about health because I just it doesn't rock my boat. I don't really want to learn about it. But guess what? You have a body, you live in a body and if you don't learn about health, then it's just going to be a more difficult journey on this planet. Let's put it that way.

Tania Vasallo: 5:32

So I realized I'm like, okay, well, let's dive into the subject of money. And so I started surrounding myself with mentors, teachers, that all kinds of courses, certifications, you know, regarding money, because I became very curious about it. That's how I explore, you know, subjects when I'm interested in them. I'm like, okay, let me go learn, let me see who. Let me tackle it from the psychological perspective, from the financial perspective, from the mindset. You know, from the spiritual side, like I've done every piece of work that you can think and continue to do. It's not a one stop shop Like it's a constant. You know learning, you find new mentors, you find new colleagues, new masterminds. But it all started.

Tania Vasallo: 6:15

I can share with you a story, aaron, of when we moved back. So we worked in corporate. So we worked in corporate. I worked in New York City for these multimillion-dollar companies like Starbucks, samsung, at&t, wireless. I did all their advertising. I was an art director in New York City and that's part of the burning out and just like, okay, I don't want to do this anymore and we quit our jobs. My husband was also an art director and here in the States, when you quit corporate, if you have an 401k you know, which is a pension plan for anyone that's listening outside of the US you have to roll it over into what's called an IRA.

Tania Vasallo: 7:00

I had no idea about this stuff. I'm just getting the information from the human resources person. So I'm like, okay, I have to do this by law. Let me go to Citibank, let me roll it over in 10 IRA. No idea, I don't even know what an IRA is, what it's going to do, what questions to ask, nothing, mind you. On the other hand, I speak two languages bicultural. I have master's degrees, I've gone to university, but because, like I said, the unspoken language was a man's, a financial plan women don't really need to learn about money. So that was my mindset. I went into this cover. Now, in hindsight, obviously, I wasn't thinking any of that when I went into the bank and got assigned a representative, and so he rolled it all over and he's, like you know, asking me all these questions and using lingo that I don't understand. And because I don't want to sound stupid and you know I want to sound, or I want to seem like I know what he's talking about, like I know what he's talking about, he's just asking me questions about my risk tolerance and should we invest in this fund or in this other fund? Again, I have no idea. I don't know what the fund I'm like. Yeah, sure, that sounds perfect.

Tania Vasallo: 8:16

And then we moved to Spain, I quit my job and we left to go live in Spain for four years. So I'm like, gave him the money, but it's my money and let's see. Let's see how it grows. Well, that was in 2007. So I came back and I had lost money. I have not made much money, but on the other side I have my husband that has been investing in the stock market for a while. He enjoys doing the stock market investments. I've never been curious about that. I've never asked him questions about that because, again, I'm associating that's a guy's thing. You know, women like I was never good at math, like I had all these stories about it, yeah.

Tania Vasallo: 9:00

And so I'm so upset when I get back from Spain and I'm like I can't believe I lost all this money. You know, like I think I lost like a third of like what my investment was and that, and just for years. And so my husband looks at me and he's like why don't you call our family financial advisor meaning from his side of the family, because him and I did not have a financial advisor and ask him to give you a list of recommends of stocks with dividends? I'm looking at him like what's a dividend? Like I didn't even know. And it was like there's this shame and there's this embarrassment you know of like. But I felt comfortable enough to ask him yeah, what sucks is if you don't have someone to feel comfortable enough to be able to ask these kind of questions. So he explained to me you know the dividend, you know the company, you can reinvest it. It's a little chunk that they give you at the end of the quarter or the month or the year, depending on how it's set up. And so I'm like, oh, okay, okay. And he's like you, should you want to reinvest that money, you know, don't go out and use it. So he's giving me a little bit of education about these things, because no one's taught me this. No one teaches these things. No one teaches it in school, no one teaches it. You're lucky that you have parents that teach you awesome. Or if you have a husband, like I did, that was awesome at wanting to explain, because not all husbands or partners want to do that.

Tania Vasallo: 10:25

I remember a client of mine that, with her partner and he also invested in the stock market and she kept being curious and asking questions and he's like no, you don't want to learn about that, it's not your cup of tea, so it's, we want to foster education around this. So, anyway, it's, we want to foster education around this. So, anyway, the, the financial advisor, sent me the list. The good thing is that I've been working in advertising, so I went through that list and I'm like no, not that company, not that company.

Tania Vasallo: 10:56

You know like I just knew certain companies that I'm like never, I'm never putting my money there. You know like I just just my values didn't align with them, because I knew from behind the scenes, on certain companies that I had worked with and pharmaceutical and stuff like that that I was like no, no, no, never. And so what that did is it made me feel very empowered, you know, in the sense of I picked five companies and different sectors and this was more an intuitive thing Because, again, it wasn't like education. He just sent me a list and I followed their advice my husband and the advisor, yeah, and I picked five stocks and and then I let the money grow you know, and just I'd look at it every so often, every six months or something like that, and they say that it takes an average.

Tania Vasallo: 11:44

And you've been in the financial world, you know, and just I'd look at it every so often, every six months or something like that, and they say that it takes an average. And you've been in the financial world, you know, like, from what I've heard is that it takes about seven years to double your money. And and 10 years, so it was a little bit over seven, but I didn't just double it, I added a zero to my balance you know, so I 10 X everything that I had there and I was like, holy crap, this is awesome.

Tania Vasallo: 12:07

You know like, suddenly, now that empowerment went from wow, I feel confident. You know, like I got to choose my stocks. Now it's like, wow, I was able to do this and I'm barely looking at like my money's multiplying. This is awesome. Let me learn more about this. Like, how can you know? It's not just the money that I'm making, you know, by my hard working, you know with my business. But now it's like, wow, money does this. Like you can invest in other places.

Tania Vasallo: 12:34

So now I started getting curious and that's where my journey of wanting to learn about money started. You know, I was like, well, let me. I started subscribing to different companies that do the research for you of stock investments. You know, from Agora Financial to Motley Fool, you know to learn about these things. And so, from there first, I started learning about the stock market and how could I grow my money from there and what companies to invest in and stuff. Some of them were good investments. Others were like that bad idea, I should have gone down that route.

Tania Vasallo: 13:18

And then I got curious about crypto, and so I started getting involved with crypto in 2017. I did not understand that completely, but it was just more of an intuitive thing of just like no, this is the future, and I just speculated. It's not like I took all my portfolio of money and put it in there, and so my next thing now is I want to learn about real estate investment. You know, I'm like, I want to learn. You know, like, how do people become wealthy? By learning, by educating yourself and and, and realizing that it wasn't just my dad and the men, you know that, my uncles that can become successful with this. It's almost like I needed to prove to myself and to them like no, I can be as successful as you or more them. Like no, I can be as successful as you or more. You know. Like, this is not a gender thing, you know. So I became very curious.

Tania Vasallo: 14:10

I, like I mentioned before, I started learning from different mentors. I tackled it more from the spiritual and mindset side. You know, like, a lot of my teachers were women, uh, and learning about wealth learning, learning about investments, learning about the psychology behind money, learning about how we relate to money and then I started teaching it, because I was already teaching women in my groups about business and how to grow their business, because I was having success with it and I launched a course I want to say two, almost three years ago that was called money magic miracles because I was like, okay, if everything that I've been doing has worked for me, the proof is going to be if I can teach others to do the same thing. Or is this just a strike of love? And so in that first cohort we had about 20 women. It was mostly women, I think. There may might have been one or two guys, I think, but there wasn't that one. Anyway, it was 20 people and in 60 days they manifested over 1.2 million dollars collectively.

Tania Vasallo: 15:22

You know, like things that were not happening before. Like houses were starting to be sold and they'd been on the market for over 300 days. People were getting IRS refunds that they'd never gotten on an IRS refund in their life. There was people that had never gotten a raise at her job She'd been at the job for 17 years and they gave her a raise and a bonus of ten thousand dollars each. So she got 20 grand and that clients being sold. You know, it was just amazing, erin, just to see that.

Tania Vasallo: 15:54

Okay, if you, there's a system. There's a formula you know, like let's apply it together, and so I'm a big believer that when you're learning things and when you're um and they're working for you, become the teacher, teach it to other people, lift people as you're climbing. You know, other people are teaching me and they're being my mentors. Why not pull the ones that are a couple steps behind me so that they can learn too? So that's been my journey with money and um, and I'm loving it, and if you would have told me five, six years ago that I'd be teaching about money, I would have laughed at you because I was all creative. You know, like I don't talk about money, we don't talk about money. It's a taboo subject. No one talks about that. So, uh, it's been an incredible journey. I'm still on it, like I said, and I'm loving every minute of it, and I love being in these kinds of conversations. You know where you can talk with other women, feel safe enough and comfortable enough that you can talk about these things.

Erin Gray: 16:50

That was going to be my comment of like you mentioned this at the very beginning of like you being able to ask your husband, you know, like I'm curious about this and like what I think money goes back to is like, do we feel safe to have these conversations? Do we feel safe to ask these questions? Because if you don't feel safe, then you can't even start with the knowledge or the curiosity, because you don't feel like that's. You know, like safety is number one, right, like priority, and then, once you feel safe to do those things, then you get to start asking people questions and people that you trust and like learning about that. So, you know, first and foremost is like you know, how do you actually feel like and this goes back to like being in our bodies, right, like, how safe do you feel to who? What friends do you have? Or mentors do you have? Or you know other entrepreneur friends that you have where you can talk, cause you know, like you said, it's like money is the language of business, like there is no getting around it. Right, like that is what we do all day, every day, and also so many of us want to bypass or not. You know, look at it. Or, if we do look at it, we have so much shame or fear around it versus just seeing it. As you know, I always say, like I have a Kleenex box on the edge of my desk. I'm like if you were to look at your numbers like they were Kleenex boxes, you would have, like, probably neutrality in your body right, like you wouldn't be, it wouldn't have an emotional charge, the way that a lot of times, money does for us and one of the things that I always love to.

Erin Gray: 18:21

You know you started looking through your stocks and choosing them. You know intuitively and also knowing, like Ooh, I've worked for that company. No way Like the thing with the you know mutual funds and the stocks and things of that sort is and everybody gets to choose how they want to invest, but like we're never in the boardroom when these people are having their meetings. You know, and so 100%, I've made money in the stock market. That has been the majority of how I've built that, and probably real estate, how I've built my wealth. You know, and also you know investing your money.

Erin Gray: 18:55

And like knowing, like I think we're growing our consciousness of like what is this company? What are their values? Like, what are they investing in Um. And you know we don't sit on the board, we don't sit in the boardroom with you know, the companies, and I think that that is very different than how you run your business, right, like you are the person that makes the money, you are the one that can be the decision maker, and so, just keeping that in mind, right, like there's, there's the point of like investing your money, and also like what happens with people in the market and fear-based, right, like when, when a lot of the people feel fear in the market, that's when stocks, you know, um or mutual funds, you know, decrease.

Erin Gray: 19:35

And so just understanding, and I think, like you said, right, like understanding how, how markets move, and understanding you know, like what are you investing in Um? You know, I think, for a long time, what are they called Socially conscious funds? I think is what they call them, trying to remember but like didn't really used to be on a level playing field with a lot of other funds, and now I think they're really like you know what, like this is a thing people really care about and want to invest their money in companies that care about the earth, care about their people, you know. And so, just like you're saying, tanya, like educating yourself on what are my options and understanding how mutual funds or stocks work, and you know all of that kind of stuff. And the other thing that you said that I love was like I chose things on my intuition, because you and I've talked offline a lot about like human design and following.

Erin Gray: 20:26

You know our knowing and I think so much of the financial world is like I call it mind-based right. Like we want to look at the, the data, but how much of it is like what you enjoy, what you want to do, like you said now, like I really want to get into real estate because that's something that I'm curious about, I want to do, and so there's no one one right or wrong way to invest your money. Like I always want to drive that home of like how do you actually like? What lights you up, what are the things that you are curious about and that want that are interesting to you, because obviously you're going to find out more information about it. You're going to stick with it, those types of things. So, really, just like I think people want to like oh well, who's doing what? Versus like what do I want to do? How do I want to invest my money Right.

Tania Vasallo: 21:17

So important? Yeah, it's. Um, there's a couple of things that I wanted to add from that. First, that women make better investors than men. You know, I've seen that we're we're more connected with our intuition. We also can manage better like the emotional side, with the rational side. So it's not just like all you know, all rash, like we might, we go through all the information, and so for anyone that's listening, that's kind of like oh, but I'm so scared I don't even know where I would start with this. You're at the right place, you're starting at the right place. Just being here and listening to something like this. I always tell women, clients, friends, you know I'm like, start where you're at and what gets you curious, you know, and it could just be picking up a book about money. It could be from the spiritual side. You know, like I remember one of the first books that I read about money was Edwina Gaines, the four laws of spiritual prosperity.

Tania Vasallo: 22:24

So yeah, it's mixing the spiritual side with the financial side. Instead of like, let me pick up a book of, like Dave Ramsey and you know, and then we're talking about all these numbers and it's like, no, you know, like if, if that's making you contract and it's giving you like allergies, and you're just like, oh, I don't even want to go down that place, then don't go down that path. There's so many different avenues to learn about money and there's so many different mentors and, uh, more and more women, which I'm loving, you know, because we get to have these conversations and say, real conversations.

Erin Gray: 23:03

Real conversations, right, like I know. It's like we actually get to connect and get vulnerable and we feel safe to be with each other and we get to share on an intimate level versus I think sometimes you can go in a room of you know when you're with your advisor or whatever, and it's just very I don't want to say sterile, right, but like that sometimes is like it's. It's like this is what you do versus how are you feeling and you know what, what is intriguing or scaring you or you don't understand.

Tania Vasallo: 23:38

Like having those real intimate conversations scaring you or you don't understand, like having those real intimate conversations. Yeah, it's so important I think it's. I kind of see myself as bringing a little bit of more of this feminine energy to have very male energetics that we've been giving it because it's interesting. I um, you know, I just got, I recently got certified at the Napoleon Hill Institute and and that's all. Napoleon Hill wrote this book called Think and Grow Rich. For anyone that hasn't read it, you need to go out and read it. If you read it 20 years ago, go out and reread it again. So it's all about. You know, it was written almost 100 years ago. It was 500 interviews that he did with the successful men of that time. So again, very male. You know energetics behind that. The principles are outstanding and they've been proven. You know it's that book has made millions of millionaires, you know, just following the principles. That book has made millions of millionaires just following the principles.

Tania Vasallo: 24:42

But I think we're at a point in time where, because women are more allowed to use money, to invest their money I mean we're not talking that long ago, it's like 50 years ago Women needed here in the US. I'm not talking about Spain, because Spain we even have worse laws, and the seventies, women had a still ask for permission for a loan for if they wanted to open up a business or something. So this is not that long ago. So we're still, I feel, like women and money. We're still kind of in our infancy. And as we keep growing and having more of these conversations and injecting it with more of our feminine energy, I think it's going to be pretty amazing to see what the world is doing in 100 years. Because, first off, women are going to be inheriting a lot more money. There's going to be much more money in women's hands. Women are the decision makers and families, you know, when they have men around.

Tania Vasallo: 25:48

But the other thing that I wanted and it's swinging back to this, it's so important for everyone that's listening to start asking yourself those questions of how do I relate to money? What are my beliefs around money? Because here's the thing 50% of marriages end up in divorce. If you're one of the lucky ones that stays in a marriage and that 50% that made it out of that 50% that's in the marriage, 80% of those women will outlive their spouses. So at some point in your life you will be by yourself, either by choice or because of circumstances of divorce or loss of your loved one, you're going to have to face finances on your own. So why not do it While you're in a good place? You're being curious, you're wanting to have these kinds of conversations versus emergency crisis.

Tania Vasallo: 26:54

My spouse just died. I don't know what, the how I'm doing, you know, and what I'm doing with money, and I have several stories I'm sure you do too, aaron and the financial world. And like spouse suddenly dying and a woman not knowing she. They were very wealthy, but she didn't know how to pump gas in the car. She didn't know how to write a check because the husband handled a little bit. That's just one example.

Tania Vasallo: 27:19

I knew another woman Well, I didn't know her directly because I was the wife of her ex-husband and she had no idea what the husband was doing. You know, while he was alive, the businesses he was running, the contracts that she now owed. You know they don't know about their own credit. You know, because maybe they've been raising kids, you know. So it is so important for us as women, whether we're choosing to be on our own and learning about finances or we are in a relationship. But just be cautious. I've also known that women at MIT, you know, like Ivy League schools, married with four kids, league schools, married with four kids husband's thinking that she's having an affair, leaves her with $20 in her wallet and blocks, freezes all the accounts, and she's not even in the same city. And I'm talking to a woman, you know, with degrees, like because if you're thinking like, oh well, that wouldn't happen to me, that's just. You know, that's a different social economic class. You know, like I'm smart and like no, all areas.

Erin Gray: 28:23

I've seen it with women and men of not paying attention, not knowing where their accounts are, not knowing how much, not sitting down and talking about it, and we didn't even talk about going down this rabbit hole.

Erin Gray: 28:38

But I have this theory around with with human design and our solar plexus, of like. If we are undefined in our solar plexus because that means that we all have emotion, right, but like for us that are defined, we have that's kind of like, our energy on a consistent basis. But those of us that have an undefined solar plexus, a lot of times if we aren't aware, we amplify that energy. And so if you're dealing with a spouse that doesn't have a very good relationship with money, and then you don't necessarily want to sit down and have those conversations because it stresses you out, right. And so I've just met a lot of people, regardless of male or female, of like. You're saying, right, like they don't know how much money they have, they don't know where all of the accounts are, they, and then the whole business thing. Like we could go down another rabbit hole with you know people in business and not understanding like. You know like or knowing like. What are we all on the like what are our liabilities? What are we on the hook for, for lack of a better word Like what do we owe? You know, so that on the hook for, for lack of a better word like what do we owe you know, so that you know, we're aware.

Erin Gray: 29:44

And I think that knowledge is power. And also what you know. Going back to our intuition, going back to our bodies, like how are we feeling if we aren't sitting down with our money from a very loving and supportive, nourishing place, asking ourselves why not? Right, like why don't you want to know about your money? Why don't you want to know? You know where you're investing, or you know not? I mean, I see this in business too. You know it's like not wanting to call the CPA or not wanting to, you know, talk to the bookkeeper, or not keeping up with your books on a consistent basis. You know it's like that is there to to get curious about, and and not from a shame place, cause I think we go to shame so easily, right Versus, why am I not doing this? Right, like this is important, this is an important thing, and not like money is so important more than something else, but understanding your numbers, understanding where your money is going. That's an important thing to know.

Tania Vasallo: 30:53

Yeah, it's such a, and we've all gone up and down in that space.

Erin Gray: 31:01

I used to be hypervigilant and avoid it all at the same time.

Tania Vasallo: 31:06

Yeah, yeah. So I'm glad that you're saying that, erin, because it might sound to someone that's listening to us like, oh well, erin's run a business, she's been in the financial world, she's got it all together. She just likes that kind of stuff. Here's the thing Money touches everything in this world. Unless you live in the Amazons, you know, and you're like hunting and gathering and you build your own hut, but that's like a 0.5% of the population on this planet. So everyone else, money touches everything. So wouldn't you want to learn about money and how you relate to it to create a better relationship with money? You know, and you can even personify it. You know and just say, okay, if, if money were.

Tania Vasallo: 31:58

You know a woman. I had one of my mentors say that she's like oh yeah, I always saw it as money being. You know this sophisticated woman. She wants to be treated nice, she wants to be taken care of and some people have personified it as a man. You know, if you're a woman, but think about it Like if you were in a relationship where you're ignoring your spouse or your friend. If it's a girlfriend, you know this sophisticated, high class, awesome. You know, queen, that you have there. You've been best friends for a long time and suddenly you're in the space of like no, I don't want to. I don't want to look at her. I don't want to look at the numbers.

Erin Gray: 32:40

That was me all the time. You're not good enough, you're not enough Not enough, don't have enough.

Tania Vasallo: 32:47

It's not feeling good. It doesn't feel good to hang out around you. You're never there for me, you know. Like, start asking yourself those questions, like if you would never say that to your kid, you know you'd never say that to your spouse or to a friend. So how are you relating to money? Do you carve out time with it? Do you treat your money nice? Is it nicely put together in your wallet? Or do you just have loose change and pockets and purses and just crumple it up and don't care about it? And I've caught myself there Once again. I'm sharing from a perspective of we were just talking about skiing, I when I I. This is why you need mentors and you need these kinds of conversations, because I've even been teaching about money and I was just recently completing another course with one of my mentors and we were revisiting this. I even teach it.

Tania Vasallo: 33:47

And then I caught myself. I'm like no, I keep my money good, you know, I have it in the wallet and everything's put together, everything's good. And then I'm like, except for when I go skiing, because I have a small backpack and so I don't carry my big wallet in the backpack what do I do with my money? I take the four or five credit cards no, maybe not that many three credit cards like my APM, another credit card, and then I fold up the bills, whatever change I have, and I wrap it around with a rubber band and I was like, when I became aware of that, I was like, oh my God, here I am preaching that we have to treat money nice and we and I'm even doing it and I'm not like I'm bundle even though I was nicely folded that with a rubber band come on, tanya, you know like, just take your, take your wallet, you know, and put it in the backpack, the whole thing, and start doing what you preach. You know it's like. But here's the thing, I just wasn't aware of it. I needed someone to reflect back to me. I was like Ooh, I caught myself.

Tania Vasallo: 34:52

So this whole relationship with money is an ongoing thing. It's not a one-stop shop. It's not like oh yeah, let me do Aaron's course eight weeks, I'm done, I did great, and then I don't have to deal with it ever again. Or I go to my accountant, I do my taxes, I don't have to work. No, it's ongoing. Money touches everything. So why not foster and create that relationship and make it better and better every year. Learn to make more money, learn to multiply your money, learn to create wealth so that you can leave a legacy. You know pass it down. I'm a big believer the more money we make, the bigger impact we can have in the world. So we should all be learning about money and learning how to earn and make more money for ourselves and for our loved ones and for our community, you know, and being able to give back.

Erin Gray: 35:43

I think this is. You said this and it's so, because that that is one of my missions is like for people to make however much money they want to make and have however much money they want to have, and then use it and give it in whatever ways they want to. Because I think a lot of us have grown up like I never resonated with money is the root of all evil. But a lot of people have said that and it's actually and I'm not a big religious person, but in the Bible it's like it never was money is the root of all evil. It was something more so of like the person and they're doing right Versus um, money being the root of all evil, but it's the love for money with that one, because that's a big belief, limiting belief, that I've encountered with many clients.

Tania Vasallo: 36:28

And for those of you that aren't religious, like you're saying, aaron and sorry that I jumped in, but you might be thinking because I didn't grow up with religion either and I did not grow up with that with that saying, even though it's a cultural, limiting belief, that even if you're not religious, it could be a version of that and I did grow up with a version of money.

Tania Vasallo: 36:53

People with money are corrupt, or people with money are bad, and I see that over and over again. And guess what that's going to do? If you have that limiting belief, you could be making millions, you can inherit millions, and as fast as it comes in it's going to go right out of your hands. You know why? Because you believe that money is a root of a lever, or people with money are better. People with money are corrupt. So you don't want to be a bad person. If you inherited $5 million, you're going to be like, oh, and not consciously.

Erin Gray: 37:26

Here's the other thing I just wrote down subconsciously.

Tania Vasallo: 37:28

right, it's a subconscious belief so you will get rid of it. Or if they just gave you a substantial pay raise and you're making all this money and then you're like, how is it that I just got a 50% pay raise and I'm still living paycheck to paycheck? Well, it's because it's a subconscious belief that money people with money, are bad, or money is the root of all evil, or money is. You know, people with money are corrupt. So you may, you're making a lot more, but you're going to find ways to spend it, or the car's going to break down, or you're going to have a health issue. You know that you have to pay money for, or something's going to show up so that you can verify that money is a root of all evil or that your people with money are bad, or people with money are corrupt.

Tania Vasallo: 38:12

So you really, really have to dig deep and do the work and pay attention to what are those limiting beliefs that you have and we all have them, because this is a little part of the programming that's been passed down to us. You know it's our subconscious mind. Does not get a subconscious mind. It's like sponges. That's why they say kids are like sponges, because there's no conscious mind created. You don't have rational. The rational part of the mind is not developed enough until age seven. So from the moment you're born until seven, you're just absorbing everything, from the arguments between your parents about money to the kid that took the dollar from you or whatever your story. We all have the stories you know or the beliefs that you were given through your place of worship, through your teachers, through your caregivers, through your parents. So we really have to analyze what are those limiting beliefs, because if you haven't, I don't care what age you are. Most likely your seven-year-old is running your financial life. You're making decisions based off of the meaning that your seven-year-old made about money.

Erin Gray: 39:23

Yeah, totally that's what I was going to say is like I didn't grow up religious and I didn't have the root of all evil, but my parents used to fight about money. And so here we go back to what you just said. Right, subconsciously, oh, money, if I have money, then that might mean I'm going to fight and I don't want to fight, right? And so, like Tanya saying, it is very, it's like being aware, but it is very, um, I don't want to say specific, but that's the word that's coming to mind, right, because someone might say, oh well, I don't have that belief, but you have to look at like, okay, but what is your current reality show you, and there is some type of belief underneath there that is creating that. And so, really, like Tonya is saying, it's like being aware of like, and this takes slowing down, this takes actually questioning, right, and some of the beliefs you know, we may not even be aware until we start working through some of these beliefs, and then we get to like these deeper seated beliefs that we have.

Erin Gray: 40:18

And so, yeah, I think that, like you said when you said, like the seven-year-old is running the show, it's like that's what it is for a lot of us and that's what it was for the majority of my life Right, like I was doing all of the things from an action based right, but in my body I was still feeling a lot of fear. I was still feeling a lot of lack and insecurity. And I don't know if you want to talk about this, but, like how many of us, we try to fix that by having more money, but that will never cure what is going on internally with us, like that's an inside job, that's the, that's the, the work that we have to do internally because, like you said, you will generate a lot of money and you will figure out a way to get rid of it. Like Tonya saying, not on purpose, but things will just magically I'm air quoting for those of you listening right Magically happen that you're like how do how am I back to to where I was before?

Erin Gray: 41:14

So, yeah, I think that that's um, really really being clear on, like, what are my beliefs and and you know what, what is actually? What is my reality compared to what do I want to believe? Or what do I think I want? You know, I think I want to believe.

Tania Vasallo: 41:32

Yeah, it's so important to do the inner work like you're saying, aaron. You know, just pay attention, ask, pull out a sheet of paper and and journal and ask yourself the questions what did my mom believe about money? What did my dad believe about money? What did my grandparents believe about money? What do I believe about money? What did my culture tell me about money? What did my religion tell me about money? What did my you know, what did the media say about money? You know like what, when we're watching movies, when we're listening to podcast, you know like what, what did I absorb? Because that's all the programming you currently have.

Tania Vasallo: 42:10

If you've never done this, you are still being run by the program that's been given to you and it's not your fault, it's none of our faults. You know, this is just the way our subconscious mind has been programmed. But if you want different results in your life and you want to start cultivating a relationship with money, if you want to start generating money and keeping it and growing it, you know, not just making it, because a lot of times people are like oh, I don't need to worry, I make a ton of money. Yeah, but how much of that have you kept? You know like you keep your money? Do you know how to grow your money? Are you building wealth for your family and your loved ones? You know? So if the answer is no and you're not liking the results, that means that you need to do some internal work on this. You know, and just question, ask, think, think about what you know your beliefs are, because what's holding your back is it's these paradigms, it's these limiting beliefs that you've acquired.

Erin Gray: 43:08

Yeah, and I think also too, like one thing that has been really paramount for me is when it comes up, like it just came up the other day, like when Tonya saying, like Aaron, I know all kinds about finances and it still comes up for me, right, because that is a sensitive subject for me, and being present with it, like so often we want to repress it or suppress it in some way.

Erin Gray: 43:34

Right, like we want to go do something, or we want to turn on the TV, or we want to get on our phones, or like actually seeing it and allowing it to be there. Right, like for me it comes up as as fear for sure. And so, being present with myself in that moment and allowing that to come up and to be seen, because those are those parts of you, like Tanya saying she was saying you know, like when your mind is seven-year-old, running the show, it's like that's that seven-year-old body, right, 10-year-old body that hasn't that, didn't feel safe, that didn't feel like everything was going to be okay, and so in those moments that you're experiencing it, I would encourage each of you to spend some time with yourself in that moment, right, like I think so often we're like we don't have time for that versus no, like there's nothing more important than you and how you feel, and letting that come up and come out and to be released.

Tania Vasallo: 44:31

Yeah, it's so important. I think the the key element there is awareness because, like we were mentioning before, it's ongoing work. It doesn't matter how successful you've been, whether you have to be able to become aware of what you're doing, how you're, it becomes easier, like I'll share with you. Um, one of my limiting beliefs, or my upbringing, was our family were this badge of honor. It's, it's. We're so proud because we're hardworking. You know, if you want to be successful and you want to make money, you have to work hard for it. And so, like I'd pay my dad a compliment, you know, like they got named best company around the world. The Spain division was the one that got selected. Oh, congratulations dad.

Tania Vasallo: 45:33

Yeah, but I had to work really hard for this so that you know when you're it's on a loop. You know you keep on getting this, this feedback. You see him leaving early, coming late, and then you know he did become successful, he did make his money and all these things. But that's just a limiting belief that he has. And now I've acquired and I can't tell you how many years it's taking me to untangle this belief, you know, and so I still catch myself to this day and age. It gets easier and easier and I catch myself faster and faster. Do this, and so I have to make it harder and make it. You know like I have to generate all this subconscious work and air quotes again, you know it's like. No, it can be as easy. You can still make, you know, a good chunk of money. You could still make a big amount of money on the stock market, or you could be. You know like, you don't have to work all this hard.

Tania Vasallo: 46:35

So my invitation is number one is become aware. You know like what Aaron's saying. You know you have a feeling, you feel fear in the body because of some money transaction or something that's going on with money. Analyze it, sit with it, become aware of it, don't try and suppress it. And then the second one would be, the second step would be go sit down and write about it. Why did I just feel like that? Why did I react that way? Why was I not wanting to give a bigger tip? You know like why? You know like, why was I being stingy with that? Or why didn't I give myself the massage? Why didn't I permit myself or gave myself the gift? Because it's too expensive? You know like, analyze, think. It's all about thinking you know it's, it's just pay attention, journal about it and then take action. And then, once you uncover that limiting belief, in my case you have to work hard for money. Someone else's case it might be. Money is a root of all evil, or I'm not deserving, you know.

Tania Vasallo: 47:37

I'm just naming some of those right, like yeah, it could be a combination of them and then, once you decipher what it is, then just go look for evidence of the opposite. If you believe that money is a root of all evil or people with money are corrupt, I want you to go out and find at least five people that are not corrupt, that have a lot of money, and one example would be Mother Teresa. You know, I know a lot of people to like, oh, you can't be spiritual and and think about money or have money, or you can't be happy and have money. Well, why not? You can have both. You can be spiritual and have a lot of money, and not only that spirituality and money.

Tania Vasallo: 48:15

I'm a big believer that live on the same vibration. You know people that are very spiritual, are very connected. There's a lot of gratitude and that vibration. There's a lot of um, generosity. I mean think the first person that comes to mind is mother Teresa. You know, like, yes, she gave to the poor, but she was an incredible manifester. She knew how to maneuver and get those millions and make that money.

Tania Vasallo: 48:39

That's why it's important for all of us to it should be our duty and we should all have that at becoming stewards of money and learning how to make as much money as we can so that we can give it away, so that we can support our families, so that we can send our kids to the schools we want to send them to, so that we can support our families, so that we can send our kids to the schools we want to send them to, so we can take care of our health. It gives us power, in certain ways, that that poor people you know poor people can't help poor people, you know it's people with money that can make the change. So, again, awareness, become aware, you know if you're feeling it in the body. Second, journal about it and decipher what is the limiting belief. And third is, go find the evidence of the opposite of whatever's holding you back. Uh, you know, in this case, like, oh, I believe that money's the root of all evil. Mother Teresa one example Okay, is there anyone else in my community that has a ton of money and they're not evil, they're super giving and generous.

Tania Vasallo: 49:38

Oh yeah, look, bill Gates. They started out their foundation. Oh, warren Buffett, look at Warren Buffett's giving away all his money, you know, and he's not leaving it for his children. You know, like, just start looking for evidence of things that you're like oh yeah, they're not bad people. Or, in my case, you have to work hard for money. Well, let me look for evidence. Who do I know? That doesn't work at all. If that would look, if that statement were true, then the people that are working two and three jobs would be the richest people on this planet. And it's not the case. It's usually people that aren't working that much, you know, because they're being a smart. They know how to invest. So go and look for evidence of the opposite of that limiting belief that you might have.

Erin Gray: 50:21

Yeah, I just told my kid we were talking about Warren Buffett yesterday and I was like he's giving all of his money. I don't quote me exactly, but like a large majority of it, right.

Erin Gray: 50:30

It's going to charities and my daughter was like, well, what about the kids? I'm like girl, everybody has abundance within them. They all know like generational wealth is not. I don't believe generational wealth happens from passing it down. Generational wealth happens from teaching our children how to generate their own wealth. Right Like, because we all know people that have received a lot of money from inheritance and they here.

Erin Gray: 50:52

We go back to what we just said, right Like, teaching our children, which I think is so important teaching our children how to generate their own money, to understand their own abundance, to to um, I mean, they already know it. We try to condition them out of it and then we have to teach them again, you know. But like, you know, helping our kids understand, um, and that they are empowered and powerful with their own money. And you know, that is such a like. That is to me legacy, because when you were able to teach people how, that they, you know they can generate it themselves, and you can do it over and over and over again. So, yeah, do you have anything else that you want to share?

Tania Vasallo: 51:33

No, I feel like the whole conversation of money and kids is a whole other one, especially for you and I that have the younger ones right now.

Tania Vasallo: 51:41

You know like wow, I do feel good that I've been passing down a lot of things that weren't passed down to me. You know, with my parents and I think it's our duty to you know, if you encounter this kind of work or you're listening to it, it's kind of like what Oprah says you can't unknow, or you can't unhear what you already heard. So, if you do have kids, do the work for yourself so that you can pass that on and cut those limiting beliefs, those patterns that have been passed down, you know, and make the next generation even better. You know it's I feel like if I drop dead tomorrow, I'm like, no, I think you know my daughter's only 10, but I think she'll be well off, not because of the money that she's going to inherit it from me and my husband, but because I know that she'll be able to generate, because I've taught her the things you know what to do to self-generate and to understand what money is. Um. So yeah, that's a whole other podcast there.

Erin Gray: 52:49

I'm like that could be a whole nother one that we talk about because, oh man, it's, it's uh, it's really important, because I think, you know, when kids are growing up, I want to say this and then, but like when, at least when I was growing up, it's like we were always asking our parents right, and one of the things that I really teach, or you know, we talk about with our daughters, like if and this is where it's not always the parent's responsibility to provide everything that they want, right, like when she wants something and it is not an alignment or an value that I want to use or spend our money on. I'm like how do you want to generate money to go get what you want? You know like and. And so her thought process is just like, oh, okay, well, what, who do I need to? You know, when she says, who do I need to ask, it's like what service do I need to provide? Or what do I want to do to? You know, like, generate some more money.

Tania Vasallo: 53:32

And yeah, so just, I love it. That's such a gift that you're giving her. I do the same thing with Isla. Like she's going on a they're doing a trip up to Colorado. They did it last year and I had. I was like, no, it's 550 bucks. You know, what do you want to do to make the money? And she we have some friends that have an estate sale business and she set up her little table, have an estate sale business, and she set up her little table, a lemonade stand version of that but she made jewelry and she paid for half the trip and we paid the other half. I was like you're amazing that you did that.

Tania Vasallo: 54:07

And then it came back. You know, months later, it was this year. She's like you know, all of my friends, they didn't have their parents paid for their trip. I was the only one that had to make money for my own trip.

Tania Vasallo: 54:18

And I was like and how did that make you feel? Because I could sense that she was kind of like resentful with it and she's like, well, it kind of bothers me that they get. And I was like, look, you know, that's the way their parents choose to teach them about that, and who do you think is going to be more resilient in the future and is going to know how to make money when they need it for whatever it is that they need. And she kind of like got a little bit proud there and she's like me or whatever you know. So, even though I think it bothered her, in the long run she will remember those lessons.

Tania Vasallo: 54:53

So I think you're doing great with that too, aaron. You know just, I think it's important for them, like we can provide for them. But like you're, aaron, you know just, I think it's important for them, like we can provide for them. But, like you're saying, you know, if there's certain things like I'll go to the store and she's like I really want that, but I really, I'm like awesome, you want to pay for half of it and just give me the money when we get home, that's awesome. You know, get it. You know how to generate money now. So, and it's fun for them, right?

Erin Gray: 55:15

Like it's fun for them, right, like it's fun for them. Like they don't have if, if they haven't, if, if you haven't, you haven't brought all your money stories into them yet, right, like they don't have all of this, they're like, oh great, I'll make it lemonade stand. Like this is fun, like they do believe. Like making money is fun and you know, like they so just allowing, allowing and empowering your children to you know, yeah, how do do you want to generate it If it's not in alignment with what you want to spend your money on? You know, so I love it. Tanya, thank you so much. Where can people find you and learn more about you and all of the things?

Tania Vasallo: 55:48

Well, there's a couple of places I'll just. I have a free guide that's called women's top money mistakes. So if you go to women's top money mistakescom, it's women's top money mistakes and how to fix them. So you won't be left with like, oh my God, am I doing this wrong and this wrong? And now what you know? No, you'll learn a lot of things. Some of them we've covered in our time together here.

Tania Vasallo: 56:12

But there's other tips that I have there in that guide that hundreds of women have downloaded that guide and many of them have used them. Some of them are from our Money Magic Miracles course, and you'll be able to. If you apply them, things will start changing. For you is where I'm going to, and the other place you can come and listen to me on the Courage to Be podcast, if you are a podcast listener, since you're here and Erin has been on my podcast too. She's been a guest there, so you get to listen to Erin and her stories too. So come and listen at the Courage to Be and you can find me there, or, with the guide, you'll get access to my community newsletter and all those things.

Erin Gray: 56:59

Perfect, okay, thank you, ms Tanya. So much. Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge and your time. I appreciate it. Thank you, erin. Thanks for having me and for everybody that's listening and watching. I appreciate each and every one of you Thanks. Thank you for tuning in today. I appreciate you spending your time with me. I created grow the CEO cohort for the entrepreneur that wants to be in a community with other heart-based entrepreneurs. It's a place where we blend the 3D of money, like understanding your bookkeeping and taxes and investing and how it applies to your business, along with the 5D of money, like the energetics and the emotions that you feel with money. To learn more about Grow the CEO cohort, you can head over to my website at generate a life well-livedcom. And, as always, from my soul to yours.