Ep. 53 Rewriting Money Stories: A Journey of Transformation (with special guest Annie Moussu)

What if your childhood beliefs about money were holding you back from financial ease and freedom? Join me as I sit down with Annie Moussu, an EFT master practitioner, who reveals how growing up in a Vietnamese immigrant household in California shaped her money mindset. From her father's focus on saving and academic success to the emotional toll of hearing "that's too expensive," Annie explains how these early messages cultivated a scarcity mentality that influenced her entrepreneurial journey.


In this episode we discuss:

• Annie's experiences growing up with an immigrant Vietnamese family and developing a scarcity mindset around money
• How Annie's relationship with her father and witnessing her mother's submission impacted her views on power, money and relationships
• The somatic impacts Annie experienced when stepping into her power, like blushing, tensing up, and overthinking before public speaking
• Using EFT tapping, grounding techniques, and checking in with the body to release stored tensions and fears
• Overcoming the belief that making money has to be difficult and hard work
• Allowing pleasure, sensuality and joy into life in order to raise your vibration and magnetize what you want
• The power of exploring your sexuality to unlock creativity, confidence and financial flow

If you would like to learn more about Annie, you can connect with her via her website here (https://hushyourmind.com) or through her podcast, Hush Your Mind (https://www.hushyourmind.com/podcast).

Compassionate financial mentor and guide to female entrepreneurs so that they have peace of mind and fun with their money in order to live life now and in the future.

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As always, thanks for listening.

From my soul to yours.
Erin

Transcript

Erin Gray: 0:00

You're listening to Generate a Life Well-Lived podcast. I'm your friend and confidant, erin Gray. I'm a former certified financial planner, turned human design, financial mentor and guide to entrepreneurs. I believe our money and our business can only thrive at the level of our emotional wellbeing. I empower entrepreneurs to feel confident with their money and in their business so that they can have fun now and in the future. On this podcast, we will explore all things money, business and self-development, including human design. I hope you enjoy the journey where I share everything that I know and am continuing to learn along the way, as I honor my heart's desires while inspiring and encouraging you to do the same. Hey, hey, my friends, how are we today? So I've got Annie Musu on the podcast today, and she is an EFT master practitioner that helps women set boundaries and create healthy relationships. So, first and foremost, annie, I'm so grateful that you're here and willing to share your time with us, so I'm excited for our conversation today.

Annie Moussu: 0:57

Thanks for having me, erin. It's a pleasure to be here, yeah.

Erin Gray: 1:01

So we're going to talk about all things money, annie's relationship with money growing up, how she's been able to transform it using EFT, and just kind of dive in. You know, one of the things on the podcast that I always you know that's kind of at the center of what I want to bring to everybody is like, hey, we've all had our relationship with money Right, and wherever you are along the journey, it's perfectly okay. And if it's not where you want to be, that's okay too and you can change it and transform it. So let's dive in. So tell us a little bit, if you're willing to share just your experience growing up with money and the family dynamics and and elaborate a little bit on that.

Annie Moussu: 1:40

Sure, yeah, I grew up in Southern California. My parents are Vietnamese immigrants. They came to the US as the boat people and in the 80s they met each other and they raised a little family and it waswinner and my mother is the traditional role. The woman stays at home, she's cooking, taking care of the kids and then the dad is going to work. My dad really insisted on academic success because it was what gave him the golden ticket to succeed in the US. He immediately enrolled in a college and he picked the degree that would give him the most opportunities and so he became an engineer.

Annie Moussu: 2:34

And so we grew up, my brother and I, in an upper middle household, upper middle class household, but it didn't really feel that way. We definitely had the immigrant mindset. So that meant like saving up every little penny, um making sure we um buy stuff on sale. Um. I remember picking out stuff that I'd like at the store my jeans, or like pair of shoes that I want and then my dad would say, no, that's too expensive, go back. Pair of shoes that I want. And then my dad would say, no, that's too expensive, go back, find a cheaper pair. Um, that the whole you know thing with desire has been really difficult for me because as a kid I kept being told no, that's too expensive, no, that's too expensive. And then I'd go to school and I'd see the other kids would have like the newest shoes or the Nike, you know, new Nike shoes or I don't know whatever. They'd go to the movies and they'd see the latest film out and I was not a part of that, could not follow the conversation, couldn't understand what they were talking about.

Erin Gray: 3:38

Yeah, it was very Because there was just no funds allocated for that right. That was just like no.

Annie Moussu: 3:42

Yeah, yeah, even their cultural barriers, like my parents didn't really get at the time, like what the point of going to the cinema was. They're like why is the volume so loud? Why are we, why are we all sitting in the dark? Like yeah, and so americans, yeah, I yeah. Yeah, we went to a movie when I was five or six. I remember seeing Aladdin at the cinema, yeah, but I didn't go until junior high with my friends.

Annie Moussu: 4:11

Later on, yeah, it really just wasn't a thing, yeah. And so my, my mom spent a lot of time with us, taking care of us, and she'd say you know, your dad is just so busy he can't be here with you because he's. This is the way he loves you. He's making money so that you have a comfortable household, a life, a comfortable life. I just wanted him to go to, like, the school play that I was in, or come to the reward ceremony or something. I'd see him on the weekends and he'd take us out into some you know nature outing. He really loves national parks. That was another way he showed his love. But my mom kept saying this is the way he's showing that he loves you.

Annie Moussu: 4:53

He's making the money, that's how we're living this life and growing up. Then I, you know, brought that into my work. Maybe I'm kind of jumping ahead here, but yeah, that came into my work later on one of my financial blocks, because I got the idea that, well, the man makes the money, the woman doesn't. And then who am I to make money on my own plus be an entrepreneur? There are no business owners who are women in my family and none of them are doing them, doing it online. You know, they're like they're, they're cutting hair or something like that. It's not anything at all what I'm doing, and so, yeah, um, I don't know I could go in so many directions, but I think that kind of gives a pretty good picture.

Erin Gray: 5:45

I want to go back and I mean, obviously we're not in your dad's head or in his body, but do you think that you know that almost that poverty consciousness, what I call right, or that scarcity mentality, comes from that place of fear, of like never wanting? Like you, I always say like there's a moving either towards something or moving away from something, right, and the energy is very different. And so do you feel like that your dad was like so tight with the money or so saving, you know conscious, because it was like I never want to go back to. You know, maybe the life before you moved to America and that was kind of what was um played into him being so fear-based or poverty conscious in that, in that regard, yeah, I think he definitely grew up in very extreme poverty in Vietnam and I think he's such a logical, rational person.

Annie Moussu: 6:40

He realized very quickly that the best way to succeed is to save up every penny. And so he started a retirement plan in his thirties, like very early, and uh, made we. He wanted to save all the money to invest in our house and so, uh, yeah, we had a very comfortable life, uh, and at the same time I I I learned much later on that it was just one of his dreams it's the American dream to go from rags to riches. And he did it. He really did it. He just was so determined to become rich. You know, whatever that meant for him, yeah, whatever that meant for him, yeah, yeah, and so he. I don't, I'm not quite sure. I think that he was just so. When you come from such extreme poverty or extreme situations like that, sometimes there are people who fall into like the victim mindset or who can't really get the motivation to, you know, or the hope to to make something happen. But it's opposite. For him, it was like that's the motor for him to go after what he wants.

Erin Gray: 7:48

It's like the motivator, yeah, and I want to say like poverty consciousness. When I think about poverty consciousness, I don't mean like um, it is a mindset, but it doesn't mean that we don't have money. Right, like I. I've met a lot of people I was this person too. Right, like poverty conscious versus wealth consciousness. It's like you can have money and you can still feel like you don't have money or you don't have enough money.

Erin Gray: 8:08

You know, um, and I think your, yours and my upbringing are very similar in the sense of like cause I wrote down, you know, like the messages that you received. Like this is this is how we formulate our beliefs. Right, like our parents think, cause, my dad was the same way. He thought, and we've had several conversations about this. You know he's like I thought I was being air quotes, right, whatever, a good parent is a good parent by providing for you. Right, but like exactly what you were saying. You're like I just wanted him to come to. Like you know some of my games or my plays, or like whatever that is, and you know I'm from the standpoint of like is that?

Erin Gray: 8:46

I think a lot about this. Like is that the generation that we were in, you know, even though we weren't like in the 1950s, right, like we grew up in the eighties where, in a way, like the mom still did a lot of stuff and the dads went to work and prepare I'm air quoting for those of you listening you know, provided for us financially and that's what you know. If you think about where our parents came from, generational wise, that's kind of what it was taught back then, you know. So it makes sense why our parents or our dads wanted to do that for us.

Erin Gray: 9:17

And also, sometimes the messages we received from that was like, hey, you don't care, which isn't, isn't the case at all, but that's, that is what we kind of as we move through life. Right, those are the stories or the beliefs that we pick up, or we, yeah, we create from that, you know? Um, so, in terms of like being with money because you saw the way that your, your dad was, your mom, like that with money in terms of like being very aware and and would you say conservative, is that a good word to say with with money? In terms of like being very aware, and would you say conservative, is that a good word to say with with money?

Annie Moussu: 9:47

or my mom, was the complete opposite. She's like that's what men take care of, like in their household. It was my dad and he's the one who also made all the important decisions for her. It was like this is not my, my strength, I'm going to let your dad deal with that. And because he makes the money, he's the one that gets to make the decisions. So it's very kind of maybe old school mindset. I'm not quite sure, but in my household that was what she kept saying. So you can imagine how that would feed into my business. Later on I'll get into that. But yeah, so she doesn't to this day deal with the finances. Part of that is because of the language barrier. She speaks English, but it's definitely not her strength. She can't really read all the technical texts and filling out a tax filing form.

Erin Gray: 10:41

Yeah, I'm like first of all, and tax stuff is already right, like it's already so complicated.

Annie Moussu: 10:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she just leaves that up to him and I think they've come to um, they have their own collaborative way of working through this kind of stuff. You know each couple is different, so for them it's like okay, yes, that's your strength, you do that, and this is my strength, you do that, and that's they're fine with that.

Erin Gray: 11:05

Yeah, so at what? At what point did you you know you've, you grew up you realized, okay, this is kind of the way that the story has been at what point and I'm sure it probably was an evolution, right but like, what's what? What point did you start being like, okay, this is kind of interfering with either how I want to live my life or kind of what was your aha moment? I know we don't have like one aha moment, but like when was it the like the tide's turn where you're like, hmm, this is not how I want to be with money anymore.

Annie Moussu: 11:33

Yeah, there are so many, but the first one that comes to mind that when I was 15, I became very rebellious of feminist. I saw how my mom was just submitting to everything that my dad was saying and she wouldn't stand up when we felt like she should have stood up for herself or when we needed her support. We would have appreciated her perspective as well as my dad's, and maybe find a way to move forward about something she wasn't there for that. She just left that all up to my dad, and so I said I'm never going to be like that. I will never let a man control me.

Annie Moussu: 12:12

And my dad was extremely controlling, very harsh, abusive, constantly criticizing me. That's just how he showed his love, apparently how he showed his love. Apparently, I didn't really it didn't feel like that, of course, but I had learned that he has the power to treat me like that because he's the one who gained money, and so no one said anything. That was just how things were, and so it's yeah, the money and the self-esteem and the self-empowerment, like oh, got mixed up together, you know, and that was when I really put my foot down.

Annie Moussu: 13:01

I said I'll never become like, I'll never be in a relationship where the woman is of lower status than the man, and I've been able to create that with my husband. But the past caught up with me eventually Because, like you were saying so well earlier, we either go towards something or we're being repulsed by something, and both have their own light and shadow. Something good for myself by saying I'm moving away from this mindset, my parents' old school traditional mindset, going towards something that's really aligned to me. But in my body, as I was tapping later on, I realized, oh, there's a part of me that still adheres to this old traditional mindset and there's nothing I could tell myself in my mind that would change that until I released it on a somatic level.

Erin Gray: 13:48

I wrote down. You know it's interesting because I think and my mom has said this before, you know, she's the same thing, Like I don't ever want you to depend on a man. So me and my sister, you know, have always worked and she wanted that because that was her experience with her mom, like kind of the similar, you know, like her mom would tolerate some things from my grandpa and stuff like that. And you know, my mom saw that, had that polarity and was like I don't want my girls to do that and it's amazing. And also, like we can take it to. You know, I always say like where's the middle right? Like we can be on both ends, or like we really want to be a live in the middle of like. Because I took it to the point of like, live in the middle of like. Because I took it to the point of like, well, I don't need a man, right, I'm going to do it all myself.

Erin Gray: 14:27

But then we don't develop the muscle, we don't practice the skill of receiving right and receiving. You know help and receiving, you know ease, and like sometimes we almost take that and it's and it's nothing that our parents air quotes have done, right, it's just like they are. They are using their experiences and teaching us Right, and we develop these beliefs and stories. And so you know the, the fact of being able to receive and it doesn't have to be hard and you know you can enjoy things and I think that that's you know, if you're listening, you know what has been your experience and like have we taken it all the way to the other side? Because we have had that polarity right, like the, the contrast is a beautiful thing, but we don't have to swing. You know, take the pendulum way to the other side. You know, like, where is the? Where's the learning? Where is the middle ground for us to use what we see, what we don't like or don't want, and how can we use that to to move us forward?

Erin Gray: 15:29

I want to talk a little bit about because you know, in the coaching world and this is kind of how I got started is there's lots of air quotes of like money, mindset, right, and we change our thinking and I've always said, like that's great, but if you're in your body, you don't feel safe with money. If you don't feel um, yeah, okay, or at ease, it doesn't matter how much thinking and mantras and affirmations you're doing like we've got to get into the body. So do you want to share just a little bit about some of the things that you've done? Obviously with EFT and you know, you know how how that switched for you. Like were you trying to do a lot of like mindset work and then you were like this isn't working or what. What was it like for you?

Annie Moussu: 16:14

Yeah, I didn't become really concerned with money, mindset stuff until I was observing myself in my business. So, for example, I would get really nervous speaking in front. I share a lot of who I am in my podcast and my blog and it has really magnetized the right people to me. But for a really long time I was kind of just on the fence of how much should I share, and it just didn't feel comfortable and I realized that as I tapped on that, I learned that I had a fear of my own power, because I had learned very negative connotations about what it means to be a powerful person with my dad.

Annie Moussu: 17:13

If he has power to control me because he's the one who makes money, naturally my unconscious mind will be repulsed by the. I'd blush like crazy or my throat would tense up or I'd be overthinking before, during and after the public appearance, and then I'd beat myself about stuff that I didn't say, or maybe I should have said this differently. It was just so draining, and so that was one way when I realized, okay, this is true in my body, even though my mind is saying but yes, you are allowed to be powerful, you have got something to share with the world, you've helped people. It's valuable what you're saying. I can say that over and over. But if I'm feeling all this tension as I'm writing, I can immediately sense that something is off. And it will uh, it will curb the creativity, it will curb my magnetism and the, the confidence that I want to radiate out to people.

Erin Gray: 18:27

Yeah, I think that's so powerful because I think a lot of us have felt or feel that way and we use our mind I think, subconsciously, unconsciously, right To protect us. Right, like that overthinking that, like all of that stuff that you're talking about in your head, like that's our mind or, or you know, trying to protect us, right, versus and it, and also like for a lot of us, it doesn't feel safe to be in our bodies in a consistent basis. Right, like growing up, we were probably taught, like you know, all of consistent basis. Right, like growing up, we were probably taught, like you know, all of our feelings, right, emotions, like stop crying, you know, why are you whining? Or like, why are you so upset about this? Or you're too sensitive, right, like all of those, those stories that we've been told and so we have yeah, I don't want to say unconsciously, but like I guess that's the word that's coming to mind is like we've gotten out of our bodies.

Erin Gray: 19:19

Right, we, we've lived in our heads because it's a it's a safer air quotes right Way to be than in our bodies and so talk a little bit more about so you notice this, because if someone's listening and they're like, ooh, that's me right, like I do blush or I do feel that. What were some of the things that you? You said tapping, was there anything else that you did? You know, I always talk about like it's really being with ourselves, which is really scary in the beginning, right Like if we're experiencing those emotions, they can feel really intense in our bodies. What are some, I guess, suggestions or things that you've done that people can try and play with, to kind of be with ourselves and in our bodies and with those sensations that we're feeling in that moment?

Annie Moussu: 20:04

Yeah Well, the first thing that comes to mind is grounding. Grounding was something that I discovered on my own. I didn't even know it was called grounding at the time, but I was kind of pushed into it because my husband and I struggled with a codependent relationship for many, many years and that was a direct consequence of growing up with an abusive father. I just rehashed the same trauma through my marriage, and so we would get into these almost constant arguments on and off for several years, arguments, um, on and off for several years. And if I didn't get into my body very quickly, I'd stay up in my head and all the emotions would dictate my reactions and worsen things. And same for him, same for my husband. And so I remember just one day, um, totally panicked, like what are we going to do now? This fight is so horrible, it's painful, it's scary, and I don't know. I just felt the call to focus on my feet. I don't know, and you know, in the self-help world there's a lot of visualizations with the tree roots growing out of our feet, and I just imagine those roots going all the way down into the earth, into the center of the earth, even just as deep as I needed and I just breathe deeply and I felt all the rage and all the fear just coursing through my body and I feel it just be all red in my neck and my chest, it rise up into my head and just breathing, breathing, breathing, breathing. So I got kind of, you know, pushed into a corner to have to do that, I'd say for most people.

Annie Moussu: 21:51

I'd really recommend like, yes, if you can pay attention to in those moment of crises, get into your body immediately and focus on your feet, because that's the most grounding you want to get, or into your maybe your hips or something. If you think of of trees, the trunks are the most solid. You have the leaves on the top that are just moving with the wind. That's like our thoughts and our fears and limiting beliefs and if you stay up in your head it's going to take you away, you're going to be lost up there. If you go down to the roots, the solid trunk in your belly or in your hips or in your feet, then you can anchor yourself into Mother Earth and feel much more centered and then you kind of take down the stress response so you can think more clearly.

Annie Moussu: 22:34

So start paying attention in your daily life, these small moments as I start with the small moments when you notice any sort of physical tension showing up in your daily life. So it could be as soon as you open up your laptop for the workday, people who are online entrepreneurs. You open up your laptop. What kind of mindset are you in? Are you feeling peaceful? Are you feeling nourished, hydrated? Then pay attention to, maybe an hour later, put a notification on your phone, then take two minutes to check in with yourself, ask yourself how are you doing? How are you doing? What tension am I feeling right now in my body? Where is it? And then just stay with it Breathe, breathe, breathe. And you know, if I get really panicky, I'll just start tapping on the acupuncture points in EFT. I'll just go round and round in silence until I feel calmer.

Erin Gray: 23:34

I love that. You said like and I'm paraphrasing like start small, like for sure, when we're in those heightened, you know, the fight, flight, freeze responses, right, we do want to be with it, but that might be too intense in our bodies. So when you're not in, that response right. When you're just, like you said, like opening up your laptop, or like when you wake up in the morning, like there's not, like how are you feeling? Kind of do what's called like a body scan, right, Like top to bottom, like what am I feeling in my body? And I think so often and this is a cultural thing be curious to if you notice that from living in Europe now too, is like the rush, fast pace society that we live in, Right, and the for lack of a better word neglect, right, that we pay attention to our bodies. And like how are we feeling? Like we have such a to-do list from the get-go when we wake up in the morning, versus how am I feeling?

Erin Gray: 24:25

And that's what I had to do at the very beginning, Like I had to put an alarm on my phone, like every hour, like checking in, Right, and you know, what am I feeling in my body in this moment? And you know, two minutes is not going to break. Five minutes is not going to make or break your day, Right. Like you can do that every hour to get into the habit of what does it feel like when I connect with my body? Um, do you find that as well in in like the society? You know, we I think Western society is definitely like this, but like in a rush rush culture that from where you live and things of that sort. Is it similar like that, or is that mainly a Western thing that we have created for ourselves?

Annie Moussu: 25:07

Oh yeah, it's um, it is here in France where I live too. Especially when I lived in Paris as a student, I could definitely feel that rush in any big city. I'd say you can feel that rush here. Where I am in Northwestern France it's in the countryside, so it is more low key, and then the French culture is very. They find the off time so precious, so everyone gets some, you know, five weeks at least paid leave every year and that is just uh, the norm here. When I tell people that in the U? S it's two weeks, they're like what, how, how do people do that? Oh, that's so typical of Americans, you know, like that's uh, they're just so surprised. Um, yeah, and you know, I think it's, it's you. You can create a hell in your mind anywhere, it doesn't matter what's around you, yep. So yeah.

Annie Moussu: 26:03

And.

Erin Gray: 26:04

I, I think that there's. I think all things play into it, right, like cultural, societal, religious, like there's so many things, and, like you say, and at the end of the day, right, like we get to choose, like, how do we want to feel? Right, like we're so practiced in being a certain way and so really breaking up, how you know, like our bodies, our nervous systems feed off of those chemicals. So if you're used to feeling stress and you haven't felt stress in a while, your body's going to serve up stress so that you can feel it, cause that's what it's used to, you know. And so just just slowing down, which seems so counterintuitive to what you know, if you have, if you think you have a lot of things to do, or you do have a lot of things to do, right, like it seems counterintuitive to slow down, but that's actually what we want to be doing, so that we can, you know, change the change, the dynamic or the direction right Of where we're going. So tell us a little bit more.

Erin Gray: 27:02

So, in terms of you know, when you realize that you were, you know you started your, your business, and when did it show up for you in terms of, or has it just been an ongoing thing for you to really. You said that you were, you know, not really showing up as your full self. Cause I think a lot of people like we think we fear failure, but we really might fear success more right Like to really be our biggest, boldest version of ourselves. So how, over time, you know, has the money stories shown up for you in your business and then how have you been able to transform them? And I'm sure it's, it's a work in progress, right, like it's not, like we get to a point where we're like thank you, all done. Right, like, yeah, it's always something work in progress.

Annie Moussu: 27:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's. There's so many avenues here. Um, when I thought talked about power the other side of it is I was also afraid of being criticized and ridiculed, kind of like with my father. But also in school I was bullied a little bit and it was really horrific. And so if I put myself out there, there's a part of me that felt scared of being ridiculed and put down that I wouldn't be able to manage the negative reactions, especially from trolls. And then it was showing up in like discovery calls and seeing the price of my packages. Even though I know that I'm competent, there was always a part of me that felt not good enough direct consequence from my childhood as well. So it's just this really gnawing direct consequence from my childhood as well. Um, so it's just this really gnawing low self-esteem, like no matter what I do, it's never good enough. And so when I said the price, I felt nervous and of course that's felt in the potential clients experience.

Erin Gray: 28:50

It's interesting, you know, with price, because people, this is actually something that we're experiencing with um, people, this is actually something that we're experiencing with um, our daughters trying out, or did try out, for a team in gymnastics. And I noticed when they, you know, told us that you know, you can come and try out and this is something she wants to do. It's not something that we've, you know, I've always been like we're not doing all of that stuff unless you want to do it. You know, and and they kind of listed everything and then they said like, and then they didn't list the price. And then they came out during tryouts and they, you know, talked about more things, but then they didn't talk about the price. And then they called last night to talk about things and then they still haven't talked the price.

Erin Gray: 29:33

The price, I'm like, just name the price. I'm like, why is everyone so squirrely about? Like? It's literally a number with a dollar sign in front of it. You know, but we have.

Erin Gray: 29:39

But that was just such a perfect example of how people one number one, how far I've come, like that was a celebration for me, cause I'm like, cause she was like well, are you yes or no? I'm like well, I want to know what is the price. Like it's everything that we're going to, you know, take into consideration. I'm like I'm pretty sure we're a yes, regardless of the price, but like what is the price, you know? And um, so it was a celebration. And then it was also like where have we come from that? It's this like huge ordeal.

Erin Gray: 30:09

It's like if you were to be like well and I always say this, you know it's like well, if it's 2000 tissue boxes, you would have a totally different, you know, feeling about it. Or there's 2000 trees or 2000 pens, right, like we don't even bat an eye about that, but we say dollar or Euro or you know whatever it is, and we we may right Feel this tenseness in our bodies. And so I think, I think you know being in business, like money's just part of business, it's just an exchange, it's just like it's just it's just part of it. And so, like noticing what our stories are around money, because, like you say, like when you're, if you are doing you know calls with people and you're having, like what is the feeling? You're feeling Because you're going, that is an energetic thing that's going to transfer to that other person. You know what I mean. They, like, they're going to sense that if you're if you're, I don't want to say funky, but like, if you know, if you feel a little off with, with, with the price, you know.

Annie Moussu: 31:11

Yeah, totally yeah. Yeah, I've come a long way with the pricing. I can say it confidently. Now, and especially because of the you know, the numerous testimonials I have over the years, I just constantly remind myself, like, look at all the positive impact you've had on others. Remind yourself of this, even when I get into those negative thought spirals, I'll pull them out. I have a Google Doc of, like you know, 80 pages of thank you notes and testimonials that I've collected over the years. That's really helpful to kind of get out of the mind.

Annie Moussu: 31:45

But yeah, like, like we were saying, it's ultimately how we feel within, because even you know, as in recovering at that time or recovering overachiever, I would get still get into those really negative thought spirals, like, despite all these testimonials, I still didn't feel good enough. Or despite the fact that I know I need to take a break, for some reason I can't take a break. I have to keep working two, three, four hours straight and then, when I'm so tired, I have to go and stop and drink water or something. When I'm so tired, I have to go and stop and drink water or something you know. So I realized that that was linked to my um, my, my ancestors, my parents, um, life before. I didn't realize at the time, but I kept observing myself Like why do I keep having to work so hard for so little, keep having to work so hard for so little? And I, even if I try to cut back my tasks on my calendar, if I had just one or two tasks per day, somehow those tasks became like 25 tasks and it would take up the whole day. How is that possible? It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.

Annie Moussu: 32:54

And I kept observing over the years and I saw that there's this old story of the struggle and that's that's so typical for our society is just we.

Annie Moussu: 33:04

It needs to be hard, uh, it it making money is difficult, um, and, and there's a part of me that also felt like I owed it to my ancestors to work hard and to gain the badge of honor, like, yes, you've all worked so hard for me, you've sacrificed so much. And it'd be, it'd be, a shame for me, I'd feel so ashamed and guilty to have an easy, comfortable, pleasant life doing what I love. You know, when they have to get up, get up and go out and hang out with, I don't know, not hang out with people, but, you know, be with people who are really unpleasant or whatever and just work their butts off. I didn't really feel like I could kind of be with that guilt fully for a long time. It's it came in in stages where I was just crying and tapping, crying um, and embracing that guilt and the the shame that came with rest and play and relaxation. Um, yeah, that was a big one, yeah.

Erin Gray: 34:14

I think you, you hit on some really big things because you know shame and guilt, we think that we have. We don't have to do anything, right, but like, in order to transcend where we are, like, we've got to feel that, right. Like we, we think like, okay, we don't want to feel the shame, we don't want to feel the guilt, so we keep working harder, right, or we keep working more versus no, a lot of, I think you, your people and my people are very similar to us. Right, like recovering alcohol, not alcoholics, workaholics. Right, like, where we are, you know where rest and play is actually, uh, work for us in the sense of like that takes effort, right, because that is such a uh, complete opposite of what we have always done. Like we, we don't need to work any harder, right, we need to work less. We need to, you know, allow for, you know downtime and play, and you know just being for lack of a better word like kids, again, right, and I don't think a lot of people talk about like, and when we go through that, what's actually going to come up is shame and guilt. Right, like we can get more practiced at feeling the shame and the guilt, because that is what's kind of keeping us in this cycle, right, like we feel guilty, so then we go back and we work more or we have more to do, is like there will always be more stuff for us to do, and so really it's like getting practiced at feeling the guilt and the shame, because that's where it is where we get to come up and we get to release it Right, like does it still come up for me sometimes, but it's not intense in my body, like what it used to, right, and it doesn't drive the bus like it used to.

Erin Gray: 35:55

And I think also, too, if you want to share, you know, like, you know um. You were talking about um charging and you know, I think a lot of people say, like, well, charge what you're worth. But my view is, like we're, we're priceless, right, like I think we charge what you feel Number one you would pay for, like, without a doubt, like I would totally pay for that, and that you feel like that the perceived value is right, Like um, because I think we can get into that, like charging what you're worth. And then you're almost, like almost, from a window of tolerance, place right, like you're you're charging to a point where you're outside your comfort zone and that doesn't feel comfortable for you.

Erin Gray: 36:37

Um and so, which all comes back to like worthiness and deservedness, right, like what do we feel worthy of receiving, what do we feel deserving of having? And you know, I think a lot of us, old Aaron, would say I was totally worthy of having a lot of money, but working hard for it and my, my switch had to, you know, flip to be like worthy of having money and receiving it from an easeful, fun and joyful place. You know was that kind of similar, I guess, for you in terms of yeah, the like it's okay to work hard for money, but it's not okay to to have money come to you in a yeah, easeful and yeah, without stressing and struggling.

Annie Moussu: 37:20

Yeah, yeah, definitely. It ties into the. This other issue that I had to deal with is being able to receive support from the universe. So if I grew up in an abusive environment where I had to figure out things by myself and become independent very quickly, I pull that into my business. That would mean I don't need life to help me or support me or bring me ease. I've learned to work hard for this. So it was like I was saying to the universe no, let me do my thing, I don't need anyone to help me. And I was unconsciously refusing the universe's support.

Annie Moussu: 38:01

And so, yeah, I had to tap on old stories around that of how unsafe it was to depend on others emotionally, physically, because that would mean I'd be put down, criticized, minimized, punished. There's just too many risks just to let go and believe that I can rest and not struggle anymore. And so that emotional regulation is essential. It is essential because if we don't have that foundation, then it everything's going to be very hard to do, or it's going to take a lot of effort, or it's going to take a lot of time. The thinking will be unclear, ideas won't come very clear, it won't come very easily.

Annie Moussu: 38:47

Yeah, yeah, so it, it. It definitely took a long time to get there. I now have work four day, uh, four day work week, and I make sure I only have um three time slots for one-to-one sessions each day, because I just do not want to do more than that. And then I have like passive income streams as well, so that helps complement what I'm doing one-to-one um and and yeah, that's. It's been a really long process, but I'm I'm glad to be here now.

Erin Gray: 39:13

Yeah, yeah, I think it's. It's also like taking time to think about, like, what do you want, right? Like what, redefining what your definition of success is, and also, um, you know, the, the idea that there was two things that I had to realize is one I love all of the humans and I also love time by myself, right, and so, like you're saying, like you know, talking with people, I love it. And also, like, two or two or three times, you know, two or three hours a day I'm, that's it, right, and recognizing that and not forcing yourself to.

Erin Gray: 39:50

Like shooting you know, the shooting comes from the mind and like you have to, and all of this, like, no, when I, when I overextend myself, I don't get to show up as my best self, you know. And so, honoring, like, how do you work best and when? When do you like to work? Right, like we're, you know, the business world is so much, like you got to get up at 5.00 AM, and like I woke up this morning, and nine, nine o'clock here, for any, what is it for you? Are you four or five o'clock now, or six, almost, maybe?

Annie Moussu: 40:17

Yeah.

Erin Gray: 40:18

So we did a. Typically I start work at 10 and I know that you know you might be listening and be like, well, nine to 10, it's I have come because I used to believe like you do have to wake up early, you do have to, you know, you know, rush, rush, rush and all of these things. And and if that were true, then think about all of the people that make all of the money that that don't do that you know. And so allowing yourself to like, really create, like, strip it all down right, like how do I want my business to look, like, how do I want to feel on a consistent basis, and a lot, you know, some of my stuff doesn't look like what other people do. That's okay.

Erin Gray: 41:01

I think we get into this shooting right, and what you're saying, like it comes from this grounded place. When you're grounded, when you are, when you are in your body, when you feel good in who you are, then your decision-making is so much feels easier, right, because you're not in your head trying to make your decisions. You're really coming from a grounded place. So is there anything else, any that you want to say or add that maybe we haven't talked about that?

Annie Moussu: 41:26

you want to add, yeah, I'd say, you know, it's been a ride. So I didn't realize for a long time that pleasure and joy that's not necessarily tied to work is essential as well. They're both very essential. So for me, you know, it's mostly like nature walks. My husband and I take walks in nature every single day, on the weekends even longer, and that's been really rejuvenating. And then also I've you know this is coming from left field but a lot of sensual exploration that has helped me become more aligned with what I want in life and to give me that spark and the joy of waking up every day, waking up to my mission and then helping people. So you're talking about, you know, cultivating this wellbeing and I'd say, in all areas of life, ideally that we can show up fully for our clients and for ourselves and our work and do the best work we can. And so I've, yeah, played a lot with my sensuality and my sexuality. My husband and I, we were constantly exploring that aspect in our relationship. It's been one of the most beautiful um discoveries, uh, just on so many levels where we're very close Um, but it's been a wonderful way to see, through my body's wisdom, that I wasn't quite ready for pleasure or joy. Even especially people who come from trauma backgrounds, there will be a part of them very often that feels like they don't deserve to have a happy life, even if their mind says, of course I want a happy life, of course I want a happy life, of course I want a happy relationship, of course I want enough money so that I can do what I want to do In their bodies, in mine as well, it was no, I've learned to stay small because that was what kept me safe, and so I for a long time didn't feel like I could fully step into really enjoying my time off. So even if I had put that four-day work week into place in the beginning, it was extremely difficult to respect it. I'd constantly work more than the hours that I had set out for myself. So it doesn't matter what it says in my calendar, I was just going to go overboard anyway. And then on the weekends and my time off, I'd be thinking about work all the time, about the next idea, the next offer, you know who to contact, et cetera, and so that that has also been a very huge yeah.

Annie Moussu: 44:03

Turning point for me on my journey as an entrepreneur is to when I, you know, when I'm in bed with my husband just learning how to be with all of this tension in my body that I've kept during work week, and then on the weekends or in the evenings or whatever, you know, that's when we play it would just come like yeah, I'd say it just. It would just be so evident that I had kept all of this tension up and then the you know, the orgasm would come, or the sensual play would just be so ecstatic and it was just such a vast difference from what I was bringing into my work. My husband was saying what if you brought this energy, this heart, this, you know, this joy into your work? Can you do something like during the week too? To like he was encouraging me to have a self-pleasuring practice so that I just be more aligned with that sacral energy as well?

Annie Moussu: 44:54

That's where, you know, our sensual sexuality, our self-confidence, creativity, and that's where their finances are as well.

Annie Moussu: 45:03

That's when we feel so alive, is when us women tap into our sacral. You know, that's where all of it happens, and that has been a huge turning point as well, in like how my finances came to me in a much more graceful way. Like, for some reason my husband. I would notice that after you know we'd play or something sometimes it was the day of I'd get someone who's interested in my services would sign up, or maybe a few days later someone would sign up, and we kept seeing that same repeating pattern. This is really strange and when I read a lot more about how chakras work, and especially the second chakra, the sacral chakra, I realized, oh, there's something going on with our life force, energy, when we can let go and be a kid and play with it and let it flow through us and let it inspire us to take an aligned actions in all of life, including our business, and somehow that magnetizes people to us. It makes us super attractive to other people because we're so awake and alive and joyful. Yes, yes, yeah.

Erin Gray: 46:16

I love that, annie. I'm like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, when we really think about it, like if we talk about, like we always, you always hear money is energy or just you know, vibration. It's like when you are in a higher vibration, right Like on a consistent basis and that's not to say that Annie and I don't feel shame or guilt or frustration or anger, right Like we're human beings and we have those emotions, but on a more consistent basis, right, the vibration that we're in is one of joy and play and fun. I have like full body chills right now, right Like, and when you were in that type, right Like, that is how things come to you, because it is, it is in that vibration, and so I'm so happy that you shared that and and and stated that, because I think for a lot of women, right Like it's, that could be a whole nother podcast we could have about right Like, about how we have been taught like pleasure is for other people and not for us, and just you know, and whatever form of play and pleasure is for you, right Like, what is that?

Erin Gray: 47:13

And doing more of that because the more like I always say like nobody wins the struggle award, right Like nobody gets to the finish line is like, well, annie struggled the most, so you know she wins. It's like we need more people in the world to be love and light and you know, like, just have so much fun. Um, because I think it gives permission for everybody else to be like, yeah, that's what I want. I want to be able to, you know, have and live like that, like fun and ease and flow. So, yeah, thank you so much, annie, for your time sharing your wealth of knowledge, all of the things that you've done where can people um find out more about you or connect with you?

Annie Moussu: 47:58

Yeah, people can find me at hushyourmindcom. I have a blog and my podcast is under the same name, and then on my website you can also find my newsletter, that's. I have a free PDF that shows people how to tap the basic sequence to help release people pleasing, which is a very typically feminine issue. Right, that's, my main specialty is helping people with boundaries and relationships, and then I also do free, you know, 15 minute tapping sessions in exchange for an interview, and so I just ask questions to get ideas for content, and it's a very fun mutual support kind of opportunity. So, yeah, I'd be a joy to connect with your audience.

Erin Gray: 48:31

I love that. Okay, I'll put all of Annie's information in the show notes and again, thank you, annie, and thank you for everyone that's listening and watching. I appreciate you Until next time.

Annie Moussu: 48:41

Thank you, Erin.

Erin Gray: 48:43

Thank you for tuning in today. I appreciate you spending your time with me. I created Grow, the CEO cohort for the entrepreneur that wants to be in a community with other heart-based entrepreneurs. It's a place where we blend the 3D of money like understanding your bookkeeping and taxes and investing and how it applies to your business along with the 5D of money, like the energetics and the emotions that you feel with money. To learn more about growthy CEO cohort, you can head over to my website at generate a life well-livedcom and, as always, from my soul to yours.