Ep. 56. Worthiness, Deservedness and Lovability is innate (with special guest Noelle Satisfies Souls)

Ever wondered how your sense of worthiness shapes your success? In this episode, I'm grateful to welcome Noelle Satisfies Souls back to the podcast.  Noelle is a worthiness coach and EFT practitioner, who sheds light on how inherent traits like worthiness, deservedness, and lovability impact our personal and professional lives. Noelle and I believe that worthiness is not something you earn; it's an intrinsic part of who you are.  And by understanding and embracing this, you can unlock your full potential and contribute meaningfully to the collective. 

In this episode we discuss:

• How our self-worth is formed from childhood
• Examine how early societal pressures can lead to lasting feelings of inadequacy
• How our lovability doesn't have anything to do with us
• Imposter syndrome and how it shows up in our business
• Why rest and play help us heal our worthiness wounds

If you want to listen to our previous podcast on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) you can do so here.

If you want to connect further with Noelle, you can connect with here at https://www.noellesatisfiessouls.com or heal@noellesatisfiessouls.com

Compassionate financial mentor and guide to female entrepreneurs so that they have peace of mind and fun with their money in order to live life now and in the future.

To join the waitlist for Grow the CEO cohort click here.

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As always, thanks for listening.

From my soul to yours.
Erin

Transcript

Erin Gray: 0:00

You're listening to Generate a Life Well-Lived podcast. I'm your friend and confidant, erin Gray. I'm a former certified financial planner, turned human design, financial mentor and guide to entrepreneurs. I believe our money and our business can only thrive at the level of our emotional wellbeing. I empower entrepreneurs to feel confident with their money and in their business so that they can have fun now and in the future. On this podcast, we will explore all things money, business and self-development, including human design. I hope you enjoy the journey where I share everything that I know and am continuing to learn along the way, as I honor my heart's desires while inspiring and encouraging you to do the same.

Erin Gray: 0:39

Hey, hey, my friends, how are we today? So I brought back Noelle Satisfye Soul. She was on episode 40. So if you haven't gone and listened or watched that, that was episode 40, how we talked about using EFT to bypass the mind and get into the body, which EFT has been one of my most favorite ways to get into the body. So thank you for coming back, noelle. We're going to talk about worthiness and I should say maybe our worthiness wounds, lack of worthiness or what we're feeling and how that shows up in our business and how to kind of work through, give some tips for the listeners and watchers and all the things. So thank you, noel, for coming back and playing today.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 1:19

Thanks for having me.

Erin Gray: 1:20

I'm happy to be back, so let's dive in. I don't think I introduced you. I like Noel is a worthiness coach, right, and she does EFT practitioner. I'm like, uh, so, yeah, so we've done sessions before and you know how EFT and just I both of us, right, our big believers in let me just simplify it for everybody really, right, like we think there's all of these like things that we need to. Well, first of all, we don't have to work on anything, and the things that really move the dial are worthiness, deservedness and lovability, right, like if we could always just come back to those three things. Let's keep it simple, like that's what it's about, right?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 2:04

Yeah, it is, but you know, simple, not simple.

Erin Gray: 2:09

Yes, for sure. Yeah, Lots of onion peeling and also like right, like everything at the core of it. Right Is really. It all comes back to like I've never had anything that I've ever been goached on. Never come back to worthiness, deservedness and lovability.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 2:27

Okay, that was going to be one of my notes, so I'm going to say it again at the end. But yeah, agreed.

Erin Gray: 2:33

Yeah, you want to talk about that right now or you want to wait until the end to share that, what you were going to say about that.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 2:39

Maybe let's wait until the end, okay, yeah.

Erin Gray: 2:42

Okay, so let's talk about worthiness to the end.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 2:49

Okay, yeah, okay. So let's talk about worthiness. Yeah, worthiness, what is it? Yeah, what is it? And, um, it's a difficult thing. It's like a social construct, yeah, but it's a place to like hit us against each other, right? I mean, it is jk. I mean I feel like that is more unworthiness. Yeah, if you want to say that, not worthiness, but if we're talking about, like, if we were to google it right now, google will tell us it's something like the quality of being good enough or suitable enough, or deservedness, and I think it actually says like deserving of attention or respect, and so this is such like a trigger thing for me. So, everybody, please excuse me, but this is what I'm worthy as coach. Okay, I get really worked up about it and I just want to say it out loud you don't need anything to be worthy, yes, and just saying that, I know I've triggered like half of you watching, but that's okay, cause we're going to talk about it and I'm not saying that. Okay, well, we're all worthy even though we are. So that means we don't have to do anything, even though we don't, but as a human being, we're not going to be satisfied not doing anything. Okay, we're all.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 4:12

Each of us are designed. We talk about human design here. Each of us are designed in a very individual, specific way to fulfill an individual, specific purpose, and I was just on a human design call, talking about the collective. So it's not just about individuality. It's about kind of like fine tuning and stepping into your individuality so that you can then like add to the collective in the most optimal way that you're meant to, because only you can do it, only you can do it. And worthiness is a part of that, where it's something that is ingrained in us as a human being. It just comes with being human, it just comes with it and it cannot be altered. You can't up-level in worthiness, you can't downgrade your level of worthiness. It is always you're just worthy. That's what it is.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 5:11

But what happens is the minute that we, you know we're born. Maybe not the minute, because when we're born we're cute and huggable and we're perfect, and everyone's just like, oh, this little baby is worthy of everything. And then we start developing personalities and ways of being that are in alignment with who we are but may not be in alignment with the people around us, even though they love us, right? Mommy loves you, daddy loves you, grandma loves you, but they already have their right. Mommy loves you, daddy loves you, grandma loves you, but they already have their own expectations in their head and they're going to put it on you because they want the best for you, not knowing whether or not that expectation that is good for them is good for you.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 5:58

And then so as we're growing and this is something that happens from a very young age, you know it's like okay, well, I'm loud and expressive, and they're like no, no, no, no, use your inside voice, noelle. Um, that wasn't me. I'm actually a very introverted person. I know you can't tell right now, but that's where I'm coming from. But you know, for me it's. It's like go talk to the other children, go socialize, and I'm like but I don't want to. Yeah, but in my head now I'm thinking okay, but that means something's wrong with me. Um, if I don't socialize, that means I'm not good enough and all the other children will think I'm not good enough and mommy wants me to socialize. So now I'm not good enough for mommy and it's just all of these layers of layers of messaging that we're not good enough.

Erin Gray: 6:45

So we're not. Can I interrupt real quick? And Noel, and we're not like consciously thinking of this right, like all of this. A lot of this happens right, probably maybe before age seven, from a subconscious standpoint. Maybe it doesn't, maybe it happens after, but it's not like. And tell me if you agree with this too. It's not like we're like thinking those like exactly what you're too. It's not like we're like thinking those like exactly what you're saying. It's not like we're thinking that, but those are the messages that our bodies receive, and then we go and live that out, because those become beliefs by absorption, or you know, by what we perceive or or take in from the, from the world and caretakers and parents, and all of that.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 7:27

And that's exactly exactly what I meant by in the beginning. When you're like, hey, it's simple, it's just these, these things that I'm like. Simple, not simple, because it's not just our minds taking in the message that, oh, we're not, we're disappointing someone or we're not meeting this expectation, it's a feeling that we get. You know, it's a clue that we're picking up in other ways, but then we don't really know how to deal with those things. So it gets kind of like trapped in, which brings into it, incorporates that consciousness versus subconscious thing that Aaron is mentioning, where it's no longer just a conscious thing that we have to deal with.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 8:10

For most of us we don't even know that it's a worthiness issue. We don't know that's what it is, or an unworthiness issue. We don't make that connection. And then inherently, without anyone having to teach us this or without anyone having to put out the vibe that they're uncomfy with how we are, it's just inherent. Because we are social creatures, we are emotional beings, we need to connect with each other other. That's also something that's just in us, so we don't have to be told okay, well, if I'm not connecting, then something is wrong with me. We're just going to feel that you know.

Erin Gray: 8:59

So, yeah, it's a problem when, when I I wouldn't say did you say problem? Yeah, yeah, I don't know if I'd say problem, right, I think, like, everyone goes through it. And I think, when I said simple and you said not simple, it's like what is the thing that we can always like? Yes, it's layers and layers and and as a reminder to like, always come back to like. We think like our brains are going to want to give us all of these other things, and it's like, and also like at the core, like okay, where do I not feel worthy, when do I not feel deserving? And what you said I love, because I remember a coach telling me this it's like our lovability, like same thing with worthiness, right, like we are all lovable, nope, we're doing nothing, but our level of lovability has nothing to do with us and everything to do with the person and their capacity to how much can they give love and receive love. Right, and so it's. I think that you know you were talking about as babies. We come out and like there's, there comes a point in time, and so for those of you listening and watching and maybe it's several points, but I know it was for me it's probably around 10 or 12, that there was a point in time where it was like and I don't want to say it wasn't okay to be, but it was almost like, okay, it's time to start doing things, earning things, um and so, whether that be you know lots of people I'll talk to right Whether that be grades or earning air quotes, earning your keep around the house, or like you need to put in with help with the family, or like there's even when I've talked to my husband he, he has around 12 or 14, you know he was like, yeah, there was a point in time when it wasn't okay to just hang out and be a kid. I needed to do something to, yeah, earn the keep is what like comes up a lot and and and so I think that it's. It doesn't necessarily have to be or is one specific moment in time, but there is a shift of like.

Erin Gray: 10:57

One of the one of the times I remember a coach asking me so is it okay for a baby to just like deserve and, and you know, as a baby worthy of all the love and everything? And I was like, of course, and I was like okay. And then she kind of went up for me. She was like okay, what about a two-year-old? I'm like, of course. And so, as she kept climbing the age you know, five, yes, seven, of course, like why would you expect that?

Erin Gray: 11:17

And then there was where it was like, maybe not so much, you know, like you're capable, you need to be doing some more stuff, and so that can be something that you know, you guys can play with, of like what, what is an age? Like, if I don't always I don't encourage people to look outside of themselves, but but for this example, like what is an age that you see a baby is a baby Okay and worthy and deserving of love and worthy? And then, like, what age is there where your mind starts to kind of like, negotiate with, like, maybe not so much, you know, and it's just fascinating to kind of see, like that we do have a, we do have an age of where we feel like it's okay to just be there and and then it's there the worthiness and deservedness kind of changes.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 12:07

You know, yeah, and it's interesting because I mean, I see that there's an age where we need to start earning our keep. We're here taking up all this weight, okay, and not paying for it. So it's like what are we doing to earn? But this is where we get the message mixed up. Are we? What we're earning isn't like love and worthy and deservingness.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 12:41

Yes yes, thank you. Okay. Yeah, that's not what we're earning, but contributing to feel that that's what it is. Yeah, you're teaching your child the value of a dollar okay, but we need to separate that out where it's not okay. You're working because you want to make money so that you can take care of yourself, because you are worthy Young man or young woman is what we should be saying. You know, why didn't you do this? Or why didn't you do that? You know you need to learn this because if you don't, no one will like you. And, of course, a parent isn't going to say that I hope, but that's kind of like the underpinning message yeah, and it's unfortunate because, again, parents by and large are doing what they do because they think it's, you know, for the best, helpful, they think it's helpful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very interesting aspect, like what age is it where we can't just be anymore?

Erin Gray: 13:52

we have to kind of like, yeah, earning, start earning to be yeah, and I think also of like having compassion for our parents yeah I think, noelle, you're younger than me and the like, but I think our generation, right Like our parents, did you give me that?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 14:07

look, we'll talk about that later.

Erin Gray: 14:13

But the you know our parents, generation right, and their generation very much of like. You do earn your keep, you do like they are. It's like our parent and I always say this of like having compassion and love for our parents and their parents because they were doing the best that they could with what they had consciousness, wise, right. And the same thing can be said for our children, right, like they'll be at a different consciousness raising their kids than we are at ours, and so just, it's not. I never look at it as like our parents. They don't do this like you're saying, noelle. They don't do this intentionally. Their intention is to empower us and to help us.

Erin Gray: 14:50

It's just, sometimes the messages we receive are ones of like, okay, I'm not, I'm not, you know, contributing enough, or I'm not keeping up, or you know, we attach all of these stories and meanings to, to our being. Yeah, so in terms of, I should say how does, how have you seen? Or you want to talk about? How does lack of worthiness should I say lack of worthiness or should I say our worthiness wounds? That's maybe a better like cause. We're all worthy, right, like, so how does our worthiness wounds show up in our business if we haven't tended to them.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 15:35

The biggest way I see is imposter syndrome across the board.

Erin Gray: 15:47

For those of you that may not know what is imposter syndrome across the board?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 15:50

Um, where, for those of you that may not know what is imposter syndrome, it's that feeling of I don't know enough um do enough. I'm somehow unsuitable, undeserving of this role that I'm in, and it comes up all the time for many different reasons, and this is well, I don't want to. We're talking about in business. I'm good for going off on a tangent you have to keep me in check and um, but imposter syndrome and what I find super interesting um is that when you really look at it, it doesn't, it's not based in truth, it's not based in a real thing. Um other ways it shows up in business you're talking about like owning your own business.

Erin Gray: 16:44

Yeah, just like you know what I, what I have seen, or where I didn't feel you know worthy, or clients. It's like if you don't feel your worthiness wound of like to rest, to take time off, to say no, like I hear lots of like well, I'm being lazy. It's like what if lazy doesn't actually exist? What if you are a little scared? What if you, you know, are unsure? What if you are maybe just burnt out? Or what if you, you know, need you haven't given your body the rest that it deserves, like so much of like how it shows up is almost like this pushing and this striving and this earning of you know versus knowing, and and like learning to say no more often and just the. I see it a lot of like rest and play, like well, I haven't done all my work, I can't go play or go have fun.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 17:44

It's like you know don't deserve to take a break. I have not done enough. Yep, actually, talking to a client who it's very stressed out at work, and then when we traced it back, it was because she was one of those children whose parents she would come home with her report card and it's like a plus, a plus, a plus, a plus a minor. And then the parents were like, uh, what is this a minus? Yep, what is that, you know? Yeah, no acknowledgement of like. Okay, well, first of all, they of all, they're all A's and then, technically, all the other ones were A pluses. So then now, as a grown adult, highly, highly, highly qualified in her position, every day she struggles with I don't know enough, this is too much, and she's under an insane amount of work. And that's the other thing where we can't say no, I'm tired, like you're saying no, this is too much. You know, we have to find a way to do this superhuman amount of work, even though we're just human, and if we can't do it, then we're not good enough. It's bananas, it's bananas, but if we can't do it, then we're not good enough.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 19:05

It's bananas, it's bananas, yeah, but if we trace it back, so, like, I'll ask her, okay, so what is the evidence that you're not doing a good job? Do people tell you that? Are your coworkers and your managers telling you you're not doing a good job? No, they say I'm doing wonderfully. They're saying that I'm doing really well, I'm like, so where is this coming from? So again, it's not a conscious thing. It is that deep wound from that client, who was seven, eight, nine, you know a little client, is the one thinking oh my gosh, this is too much work, even though I'm doing everything I can and I'm doing okay, even though she's doing excellently. I got an A minus here. I am no longer worthy.

Erin Gray: 19:58

It's like the expectation to do, like you just said, superhuman things. It's like good enough, isn't good enough, right, like there's this and it's all. When I say it's all created within our minds. It's not a like, it's not coming from a place of like it's our fault, it's just like. This is what happens when we receive these messages and then we don't slow down to pay attention to like how, how is this actually showing up for us? Because she might think I just need to work harder or I just need to. You know what other? If we go to the place of like action, of like what else do I need to be doing?

Erin Gray: 20:38

Versus what is this belief or what is this feeling that I'm feeling on a consistent basis that is having me doing these things, you know, and, um, I always say like, I think that with the grades, like we just move that right into business, right Business and making money, like if we have, if we have been children. That, because I think a lot of people in business and my brother said this and I was like, wow, he's like my therapist said you know what, steven, people that have like had what we were talking about money, but I think it's true for worthiness too. He was like people that have had a good relationship with money don't go into business to make money. They go into for a creative expression or to serve, and money's a by-product. And I think that that's true too with worthiness.

Erin Gray: 21:25

Right Like when you're going into business to like prove yourself or you're trying to, you know that that little child inside wants that like, add a girl, add a boy, yeah, versus doing it from the fun and the joy and the creative expression of doing business and having fun and serving the world and all of that kind of fun stuff, the what we haven't tended to those wounds. It shows up in that. It shows up in those ways.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 21:55

Absolutely, and it is quite a devastating thing, because here we are trying to meet this expectation, whether it be real or not real, yeah, and that requires us to kind of like, change ourselves into something we're not, when the role that we're meant to fill is not being filled fully, because we're trying to fit something else and we're trying to, like, receive it outside of ourselves, right, like we're trying to fit something else and we're trying to like receive it outside of ourselves.

Erin Gray: 22:25

Right, like we're trying to receive. We're trying to meet that, that tender part of us, from a place outside of ourselves, versus tending to some of those wounds that we have within. Right, is that what you? Yeah?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 22:41

Yeah.

Erin Gray: 22:49

Do you? Yeah, yeah, um, worthiness, lack of, no, we can't say a lack of worth. Yeah, I know, I'm like, I'm trying to say like, because I feel like it's like what Abraham says. It's like everything is abundance and it's just a lack of, and when I mean lack of, I mean it's like there is no scarcity, it's just lack of abundance and so it's like everyone is worthy, but we just have that belief that we aren't. But it isn't. It isn't that we're lacking worthiness, it's just, you know, we have wounding, that's having us believe that we aren't worthy.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 23:15

So the unworthiness lie. Can we call it that the unworthiness lie? Yeah, I like that, that's a good one. Can we call it that the unworthiness one? Yeah, I like that. Okay, that's a good one.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 23:23

The other issue with this is that it's super taboo. We can't just go around saying, yeah, I don't feel worthy, because if we could and it was acceptable, then we wouldn't have things like imposter syndrome. We would just go and talk to our manager and be like this is what I'm feeling. Can you help me? Can't do that. Can't do that. We can't just go on instagram and post I don't feel good enough, because that's not what we do.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 23:48

On instagram, we show the best versions. We used to show the best versions of our reality. Now we create the best version of something that is supposed to slightly resemble reality and put it out there. It's like no, this is my everyday life. We can't go out and exclaim to people I don't feel like I'm good enough. Yeah, we don't feel safe. That's not a safe area for us. Yeah, but it's crazy because we all feel that. We all feel that in some aspects, you know, but we can't get together and talk about it, you know, because of that fear of okay. Well, if I actually say it out loud, then it's true. They probably weren't even thinking that I was unworthy, but now they definitely do. If I'm thinking that, then it must be true. They're gonna know, you know so.

Erin Gray: 24:43

Yeah, I was also going to say, you know, one of the things is sometimes, do you think worthiness also ties into compassion for ourselves?

Erin Gray: 24:57

Like, are we cause? What I wrote down is like asking yourself, like if Noel was coming to me and telling me these things, like a lot of times we'll have all of these stories in our head. But if we think about if our friend was saying that to us, we would be adamant Like what are you talking about? Like no, you absolutely deserve you know. And so one of the things to ponder or think about is, like if you were talking to your friend, would you have that same dialogue and that same, those same beliefs if they were coming to you, or would you be supportive and loving and compassionate and curious, and you know. So doing some of that for yourself, because I think sometimes the compassion piece is maybe a little bit more difficult for us because we haven't practiced that as much as we have the beating ourselves up and all of that yeah, but that's built into our societal norms, is it not like we need to make sure that we're taking care of each other?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 26:03

It's selfish to think of the selfish word, you know, because it really is an interesting thing. I love to put that into tapping, you know, to bring that part of us up, that subconscious part of us that's believing that story. Bring it up to the conscious level so we can make it make sense. Because, yeah, if your best friend was telling you this thing, would you say yeah, you unworthy piece of you know what we wouldn't. So why is it okay for two human beings, ourselves being one of them, to go through the same thing? But, our friend, you know, we have all this compassion and understanding, but when it's us, we're like no, I am not worthy, I am terrible, I'm not good enough, yeah, doesn't make sense.

Erin Gray: 26:56

So what would you give as far as tips or, um yeah, tips to heal and work through those beliefs that you have? Actually, let me back up. You mentioned about how it's kind of like. Can you give other examples? First, you mentioned about your client with the manager. How else does cause it can be I guess sneaky is also. The word that comes to my mind is like how is it like you?

Erin Gray: 27:25

know what I mean. It's like sneaky right, like. That's why I was saying it's so simple and you're like but it's not simple. It's like it always comes back to that. But how else does that show up Like? I think it shows up in rest and play and you work through it. Do you mean specifically in business or just generally? I guess just in general. Yeah, like, how, how else, like, if somebody else is listening, how else might it show up that we might not be aware of, but it's no one's giving me a look like girl. It's everywhere.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 28:01

Okay, it is everywhere, it is Okay, it is everywhere. Okay, everywhere. And I'm saying this not from a place of judgment, or you should know this, I'm saying this from a place of I've been there, yeah, so everywhere, everywhere and anywhere in your life that you're stuck, I I'm gonna bet you a hundred dollars that there underneath, there is a worthiness wound or a belief that you're not lovable the three things Erin said at the beginning of this talk you're undeserving or you're going to end up abandoned and all alone. And all those things are different versions of each other. And if you're telling me, oh well, okay, well, I've been trying to lose 30 pounds for the last 30 years.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 29:03

Okay, if we work it down, I noticed that some clients don't believe they're worth the transformation that they're after. Some clients don't believe that they're worth looking as good as someone who is 30 pounds less. Some clients don't believe that they're worthy to be in their body. Um, how else is this? Your relationship issues? And so this goes back to like trying to put it on something that's outside of yourself, whether that is a person, and you're blaming the other person. Well, they should have done this and my life is crazy and obviously all these things happening to me? Why does this happen to me? It shows over and over again these patterns that we fall into, that I'm not worthy of this thing that I want. But the thing is we have this saying in um, we call it subtle body healing. So healing that is not like your physical body, but your emotional body, like life is coming from you, not at you.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 30:27

And again I triggered you by saying that, sorry, not sorry, okay, it's true. If, if you find yourself stuck in a pattern of things proving to you that you're unworthy, it's because you're sending a signal out that you believe that you're not worthy. Yeah, it's that thing of attract like, attracts like is that how they say it? Yep, and so can we start talking about the tips. Absolutely Okay, we really need to make a mind shift. And then I'm going to undo that a little bit. But we need to make this mind shift that it's not about how suitable or acceptable or qualified we are for that external thing, whether it be person or position, et cetera.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 31:27

Okay, it's about how suitable said thing is for you and your alignment, because we have to know who we are, what our alignment is, so that we can know okay, this is who I am, but I'm trying to be that thing over there. That's why it's not working out. It's not because you don't deserve that thing over there, it's because that thing over there is, that thing over there's business. This is your business over here, your alignment is your business and that thing you're not meant for, that it's out of alignment. And so you trying to be over there out of alignment with that thing that is out of alignment with who you are. You're going over there out of your alignment. The thing that is in alignment with you is over here, like hey, I'm over here.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 32:24

I'm over here, where you're aligned, but you can't see me because you're not in alignment with who you are. So it's a thing of it's not about you not being worthy, it's not about you not being suitable. It's about am I allowed to say, the universe, universal.

Erin Gray: 32:44

Of course, Universe, God, spirit, source. Whatever you want to subscribe to, it's like.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 32:49

whatever your thing is right, Like whatever it is, that's yeah absolutely that great to knowing is trying really hard to tell you that's not for you, boo, and that's okay. What is for you is going to look better, feel better, fit better for you. That's why you are you Now. This is different from you know. The other word that we like to throw around a lot in healing circles is grow. You know, like to throw around a lot in healing circles is growth. You know, and yes, we can grow into things, but you know, if you're growing because it feels it feels good eventually.

Erin Gray: 33:30

Yeah, I'm like this is a little uncomfortable on the way there, but once you get there you're like yeah but there are clues, you know it's alignment, because being in alignment feels good yep um, and it is okay to be like, that thing is not for me, that thing is not for me, it's not about me not being for that thing.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 33:53

And then some of us, we have that mind story of oh, but if I'm saying that thing is not good enough for me, then am I selfish Again, the selfish word. Am I big headed? No, you're just who you are and that's okay. So that's like a mind shift that we have to make. It's not about us being suitable for the thing it's about. Is that in alignment with who I am suitable for. The thing it's about is that in alignment with who I am? Yep, okay, that was one tip. Okay, that's a good one. Yeah, okay, um, we want to figure out.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 34:28

This is really a good exercise. If you're just starting out with like figuring out am I worthy, what is my relationship to my sense of self-worth, figuring out what your values are, or figuring out what you value in life, so maybe you feel like, okay, I value this, I value this, I value this, and then you're going to spend time with that list figuring out why you value each of the things. Where did this value come from? Where did you get it from? Did you get it from your dad, is it? Do I like this because he likes it? Do I like this because society says that if I don't like this, then I will not be loved and I'll be an outcast? Is that why I like this thing?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 35:15

And then, if you just want to imagine, maybe you close your eyes, maybe you don't, but you just want to imagine. I know this is going to give some of you anxiety, but like for five minutes you can set a timer. Just imagine a world where nobody can judge you or make you feel bad for what you do and you don't value it. Just pretend, just pretend, I know. Just pretend for five minutes that that's the world you live in. You're going to go down your list and it's like he can look over your shoulder if you want. I don't really value this thing, you know. If nobody else could put their say on what it is you personally value, would you actually value it? Yep, a good thing to figure out. Yeah, you have to. You have to be willing to turn toward yourself and the things that you don't want to look at within yourself.

Erin Gray: 36:11

I want to say something real quick, noelle, here, because here's the deal. You that's like, that's the fast track. Here we go back to like simple, not simple. It's like if every time something was bothersome to you or triggering to you or whatever that really upset you, if you always was like, but where is this within me? Or where is this show up? Or like if that, if that was your constant right, um, and I know this is a practice and I know like in the heat of the moment it really sucks when you're like asking yourself when your kid pisses you off and you're like where is this within me?

Erin Gray: 36:44

And and also what Noel saying is without saying because I interrupted her is it will keep coming up for you Like that we talk about the universe, god spirit source, whatever is. It will keep coming up for you until you are. We talk about the universe, God spirit source, whatever is. It will keep coming up for you until you are ready to learn the lesson. So if you're not willing or you don't have, like, I always say like we don't have to do anything, and also sometimes it makes it a lot easier when we're like, okay, I'm ready to look at this because it will keep coming up in different situations, in different experiences for you, until you learn the lesson. Is that a good way to say it, noelle?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 37:21

Yes, and what I'm saying you want to look at yourself is because I want to encourage you to think, even if you don't believe it right now. What you think it is is not what it is. But I've been using this analogy because I was this child, so I swore, swore there was something under the bed. I swore there was something under there. Okay, he couldn't tell me that there was not a monster under my bed and I just made him more, or her babe, larger and scarier, I would not look under.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 37:59

And there was this one night where I really just had to go to the bathroom and I'm now a nine-year-old yes, I still believe there are things under my bed. At nine years old, I don't know if that's weird or not, but I'm most certainly not going to bed. So what do I do? I'm going to have to. I was like, well, this is the night we're gonna look at this bed. And then I looked under there and there was nothing there. And so that's what I'm saying, where you have to eventually be willing to turn towards yourself so that you can see that there ain't nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you, but you're not going to know that until you look at yourself. Yeah, okay, that's good, okay. And the last thing I would say is start a practice of connecting with your body. Yes, I know we don't like to hear you. How do you?

Erin Gray: 38:59

do that? How do you do that? Like I always think about, like the errands four years ago that were like and then the errands two years ago that was like, okay, I've had lots of mindset coaching but things aren't changing. And then the errand now is like tell me how to get in my body. So, like all of those different versions of Erin, what are some? You know the levels, I guess, right Of of how to, of how to do that.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 39:27

No this is tricky because we are all going to have different relationships with. You know being reactive, but it really is. If, let's say, if you're a person who ruminates a lot I know there's going to be some of you out there if you find yourself thinking about something, thinking about it, thinking about it, I want you to ask yourself the question how is this thought making me feel in my body? We don't realize it some of the time. Hmm, we don't realize it some of the time, but it is happening because we are one whole being with multiple different layers, but it's still one large antenna picking up antenna. Antenna, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, one large receptive tool dealing with whatever it is that you're triggered by.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 40:19

And so, yes, we're very, very trained to be with our minds, but while we're being with our minds, something in our body is also reacting. So it's what's happened? What does this stop making me feel in my body? Oh, it's making my heart race. How strong is that out of 10? Is that like a two out of 10? Is it like a little flutter? Oh no, it's like in my belly. It feels like I just swallowed a rock. You know, we want to make a connection of, like a thought being able to affect our physicality.

Erin Gray: 40:53

I think it's a good way to start that process of getting reconnected to your body um, I mean tapping eft is a big one, um, and so tapping for, does everybody here know? Let's just tell, like, when we say tapping, just explain what that is, just in case if people that are here and listening don't know what that is, what is that? Just a quick little like what does that look like and what is?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 41:25

it. You call it like a therapeutic tool and we're literally just tapping on different hot spots we're going to say energy hot spots on the body, while we're speaking something out loud because we're facilitating the ease of the message to get through our entire systems, not just our mind. Let's just pretend for a moment, even though it's not pretend, it's actually a thing. Our mind speaks one kind of way. It speaks its own language. Your body speaks a different language, and so this is where the discrepancy happens and this is why we get stuck in our heads and why this may be a conscious, subconscious thing.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 42:06

It's not connecting. It's because we're telling ourselves, oh, we're worthy or oh, we're safe, we're safe. We're doing the mantras I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe. But you don't feel safe because your body doesn't speak that language. And so tapping is helping us facilitate that translation, because we're tapping on those hot spots. They run along meridians, that kind of line up with our physical wiring If you want to think of, like the lymphatic system and or arteries and our veins and things like that. There is just a way in which our minds and our bodies are connected. There's a very specific wiring we can't really see, but the tapping is helping us traverse that wiring.

Erin Gray: 43:12

Does that make sense? And so, like you're saying, doing the tapping kind of bypasses the mind and gets into your body to just release, right. It's just, it's all energy and if it's there and it hasn't been moving, then it just allows it to move through your body.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 43:28

Exactly Um, any practice where you can, um, turn your attention to what your body is doing is good If it's just like a very rigorous workout, because we want it to be something that is rigorous enough for your mind to be in the body, you know. So, a nice walk in the park, you're still like up here like la la la, the sun is beautiful, I'm wondering what I'm having for dinner. So that's good for your physicality. But when it comes to our practice that's going to get you in your body, we want to make it something that gives your mind so much work to do. It can't like sabotage, it can't get in there and spiral you out with, like the the mind story you know.

Erin Gray: 44:22

So anything that's tactile would be a good thing to do I always say playing too, like I know this is, this might bring up even more worthiness stories. But, like, playing is like, like you're saying, you're just so, uh, focused in the thing that you're doing. Like, think about a little kid. When they're playing, they are just in their bodies, doing the thing, whatever it is Right. And so what are the things that you might've done as a little kid that you enjoyed and going and doing those to to help get you in in your body?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 45:00

Yeah, and please know and remember that compassion piece. This is not an easy thing. It's simple enough, but when it comes to our capability, it's not because you're not good enough, yep, it's because this is something that has been ingrained in you, in me. For me, it's been decades and decades and decades, almost another decade.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 45:27

It's been a long time you know, and so we have to be patient with ourselves. Yes, undoing this work, or undoing the work of undoing this, and it's not going to be perfect. And even when you do figure out your worthiness wound, it's not like you'll never feel a low sense of self worth or feel unworthy ever again. You probably will, but you're going to have the tools to remember oh, that's not real. This unworthiness thing is a lie. I'm still a badass. I can do this, you know.

Erin Gray: 46:01

And I always say like your recovery time right. Like Noel and I were talking before the podcast and she was like well, I was like I don't like using the word heal and I was like it's not that I don't like using it, it's just that I don't believe there will ever be a point where we're like all done right, it's just. For me, what I've noticed is the recovery time just gets faster and every time I air, quote what I call up level right, like as I'm going outside my comfort zone, as I'm evolving as I'm, you know that kind of stuff, it's the, the worthiness does come up, right, but, like you said, it's and you have the tools now and you're able to get back to what would you call it I don't want to say baseline, but that's the word that comes to mind Like you're just able to, you don't, those stories don't hang around, like those stories used to hang around for days or weeks and now they're like eh, maybe a couple hours or minutes or depending on what it is Right. And so I, when I say recovery, it's just like the, the belief, the, the, you don't believe it like you used to and it doesn't stay as long as it used to. That's kind of the way it feels like for me.

Erin Gray: 47:11

If that's a yeah, this is a process, yes, and it's a practice, right, it's like think about if you got 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years of beating yourself up, of not feeling worthy of, of all of the, the absence of love, right, that we've done to ourselves. No, it won't take you just as long to to do the opposite of it. And also, like you are really skilled at this old way of being and now you're just changing your way of being. And it just takes time. It takes practice. Like I always throw out the deadlift, you know example.

Erin Gray: 47:51

It's like if you want to deadlift, you don't just like decide in like one day you go into the gym and start deadlifting 150 pounds, you're like, okay, well, what gym would I go to? And like, okay, maybe I need to get a trainer and then maybe I need to like check out the form and like there's so many steps in the process. And then you just practice over and over and over again. So, going back to compassion, right, like it's okay. It's okay that it takes time. It's okay that you know you catch yourself in in a story. It's okay that you know it's like. You can always always like. Sometimes people are like oh, I fell off, it's like it's not a problem, you just get back on, it's no problem. Yeah, anything else that you want to add that maybe I haven't asked, or that I left out that, or I haven't thought about or haven't suggested?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 48:37

Um or that I left out that or I haven't thought about or haven't suggested Human design. Do you still have time to talk about that? Yeah, worthiness in your design. I think I'm bringing this up to say that this is tricky because, again, there's not going to be something outside of yourself that is going to inform or alter or change your worthiness. You know there are going to be clues to to what your propensity is or your capacity is or your how prone you are to have something make you feel unworthy. You know, even like the profiles, there's some profiles, um, like you're a fourth line. Fourth line needs to. Was it okay that I? Just how did you support me? Of course it is.

Erin Gray: 49:42

Yes, listen, this is raw real, I don't hold anything back. Okay, so You're Aaron, I'm generator four, six emotional Yep.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 49:55

I'm a three, six generator, not emotional, but okay, we'll talk about that in some other yeah, that's a whole nother topic too defined emotional solar plexus.

Erin Gray: 50:05

I should say we all have emotions, like everybody takes human design to like the next level. It's like whoa, whoa, whoa. No right, we all have emotions. I just have a defined emotional solar plexus. Go, go ahead, noelle.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 50:17

But as a fourth line. Community is big and so if you have a fourth line who also has other things, maybe a kind of circuitry that's more involved with community building, you might be more prone to feeling like am I good enough, Am I worthy enough? Because a big part of who you are is connecting with other people with a bunch of different standards of what is good enough and what isn't. I'm a three, six, Three. You know, life is messy and we make a bunch of mistakes. You just experiment.

Erin Gray: 51:02

I just say, you guys just love to experiment.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 51:04

Yeah, and you know we get a lot of flack for that, so we might be more used to it. It might not be as devastating for a three for someone to say what are you doing with your life? It's like, oh, it's just Wednesday, I'm going to start again tomorrow, it'll be fine, you know. But things like that, you know. And then there are multiple gates where, if you were in like you're feeling more low vibe that day and you have that gate, you're going to feel like, oh, I'm not good enough. You know this is. There are just so many things in the design that is going to affect and nuance your relationship with worthiness, but the key to remember is that it don't matter.

Erin Gray: 51:48

Yes, you're worthy.

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 51:50

Yes, right.

Erin Gray: 51:54

Yeah, that's what I would say. It's like always using your human design as a way to empower yourself. Yeah, that's what. That's what I would say. It's like always using your human design as a way to empower yourself. Yes, and at the end of the day, it's energy, energy, energy, energy, vibration. Right, Like it's all worthiness. Right, Like it's just it's. It's like gravity.

Erin Gray: 52:13

There's nothing to discuss here. It's in the sense of like it's just a fact, you know, and we have been. It's almost like when you, you know, think about something that maybe your parents told you and then you realized it wasn't true. Like this is what I feel like worthiness is right, Like we've been told that it is earned or that it is. You have to, you know, do something for it. It's like worthiness, deservedness, lovability, done, fact, nothing to discuss in terms of like, nothing to do. It's just you, who you are, and I think part of our journey on this planet earth is like remembering that that's true and factual yeah, well said so, with that, where can people find you, learn more about you, work with you, connect all the things?

Noelle Satisfies Souls: 53:11

all right, you can check me out at worthinessembodiedcom. Um. You can send me an email, which would be a heel at my name. Noel satisfies souls. Um, those would be the two best ways. You know, if you have a question cause this is the thing where the nice is tricky very individual. If, like, I have no idea how to get started, I'm your girl, um, so yeah worthiness and body would be a good place to start.

Erin Gray: 53:43

I love it. I'll put it all of Noelle's information in the show notes and thank you all for listening and watching. And, as always, noelle, thank you for coming back, for sharing all of your wisdom and knowledge with us. Okay, until next time. Thank you for tuning in today. I appreciate you spending your time with me. I created grow the CEO cohort for the entrepreneur that wants to be in a community with other heart-based entrepreneurs. It's a place where we blend the 3d of money, like understanding your bookkeeping and taxes and investing and how it applies to your business, along with the 5d of money, like the energetics and the emotions that you feel with money. To learn more about growthy CEO cohort, you can head over to my website at generate a life well-livedcom and, as always, from my soul to yours.