Ready Set Reiki®️
A podcast about Reiki and Energy work. From the curious beginning to the seasoned Master Teacher. Welcoming all those who work with energy.
Join Reiki Master Tracy Searight as she guides you on a journey through this landscape of energy work. Each guest offers an in-depth unique perspective sharing their journey which had 'a profound effect on their healing and development as a person. Come along on this journey and explore all the possibilities of working with energy.
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www.thefeathersister.com
Tracy Searight is an Educator, Yoga Teacher, Reiki Master, Grandmaster, Sound Practitioner, Author and Podcaster.
Find her on Feather Sister with Wellness living
offering training in 10 different systems of Reiki
Training in Chair Yoga, Yin Yoga and Restorative
Ready Set Reiki®️
Episode #95 Amanda McCordic Healing Journey: From Terminal Cancer Diagnosis to Reiki Advocacy – Embracing Personal Resilience, Mental Health Struggles, and Community Healing
Imagine facing an aggressive breast cancer diagnosis and being told you have only months to live. That's the reality Amanda McCordic confronted in December 2019. In this emotional and inspiring episode of Ready Set Reiki, we bring you Amanda's courageous journey from a terminal diagnosis to defying the odds through the power of Reiki. Her story is a transformative testament to hope, healing, and the extraordinary mind-body connection that has kept her scans clean since November 2020.
Amanda's path was far from easy. As she navigated her battle with cancer, she also faced the heartbreaking struggles of her husband Matt’s untreated schizophrenia, culminating in his tragic suicide in March 2020. Amanda opens up about how Reiki became a beacon of strength and healing through these unimaginable challenges. Her initiative, Dragonfly Reiki Marketplace, is a testament to her resilience and dedication to spreading the healing light of Reiki, even in communities where skepticism abounds.
Moreover, Amanda shares invaluable lessons on self-love, personal boundaries, and the importance of consent and free will in the practice of Reiki. Her heartfelt narrative highlights the transformative power of positive thinking on physical health and underscores the significance of community and ongoing learning for new Reiki practitioners. Please tune in to hear Amanda's profound insights, the legacy she aims to leave for her children, and the liberating acceptance of life's unpredictability. It's an episode that will leave you inspired and hopeful, reminding us of the incredible strength of the human spirit.
Amanda McCordic is a mother, wife, lawyer, entrepreneur, terminal cancer survivor, and Holy
Fire® Karuna Reiki Master.
In December 2019, Amanda was diagnosed with aggressive Breast Cancer, and by April 2020,
the cancer was deemed terminal. A classic type “A” personality, Amanda made the conscious
decision to live with hope and to focus on healing, rather than dying.
Through divine intervention, Amanda had her very first Reiki session 12 hours after finding her
first cancer tumor. Amanda’s cancer journey kicked started her spiritual journey, and she leaned
heavily into Reiki to help her heal all parts of her body, mind, and soul. Defying her oncologist's
expectations or understanding, Amanda was able to heal her cancer metastases, and her
scans have remained clean since November 2020.
While pushing through her healing, Amanda witnesses her husband, Matt, losing his battle
with his mental health. In March 2020, Matt committed suicide in their home, leading to some
of the most emotional and spiritually challenging days of her life. Amanda again leaned into
Reiki, making peace with his choice and the difficult path they had walked together. Amanda
openly chronicled the ups and downs of her cancer journey and her loss of Matt on her Facebook
page, “Amanda’s Tango with Terminal Cancer.” Offering candid insight into her path and the
lessons she had learned.
Amanda credits Reiki with guiding and healing her. Amand has such gratitude for all that Reiki
is and does for her, she felt called to help spread the light, hope, and love of Reiki to all those
who seek it, while also assisting Reiki Masters with sharing their light through entrepreneurship.
It was as a result of this calling that Dragonfly Marketplace was created.
Amanda resides just outside of Fredericton, New Brunswick, with her second husband Brad,
children Ethan and Amelia, dogs Larsen and Zoe, and cats Jake Puralota and Cleo
Ready Set Reiki is a journey
From the curious beginner to the Season Master Teacher
All Energy workers of all systems and all levels.
Thank you.
Speaker 2:This is Ready Set Reiki a podcast about Reiki, the universal energy life force, From the curious beginner to the seasoned master teacher, welcoming all systems, all lineages and all levels. Reiki is a journey and not a destination, and on this ready set Reiki journey, we refer to ourselves as guides rather than host, as we too are traveling, supporting each other and learning on this Reiki journey as well. And, with that said, I am your guide, tracy C Wright, and joining me today on this journey is Amanda McCordick, and she is a mother, wife, lawyer, entrepreneur and terminal cancer survivor and a holy fire Corona Reiki master. Now, in December 2019, amanda was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer and by April of 2020, the cancer was deemed terminal. A classic type A personality, she made the conscious decision to live with hope and to focus on healing rather than dying. Now, through divine intervention, she had her very first Reiki session 12 hours after finding her first cancer tumor.
Speaker 2:The cancer journey started a spiritual journey and she leaned heavily into Reiki to help her heal all parts of her body, mind and soul, defining her oncologist expectations and understandings. Amanda was able to totally heal herself and her scans have remained clean since November 2020. While pushing through her own healing. She witnessed her husband, matt, losing his battle with mental health. In March of 2020, matt committed suicide in their home, leading to some of the most emotional and spiritual challenging days of her life, again leaning into Reiki, making peace with his choice and the difficult path they had walked together.
Speaker 2:Now Amanda openly chronicled the ups and downs of her cancer journey and her loss of Matt on her Facebook page, amanda's Tango with Terminal Cancer, offering candid insight in her path and lessons she has learned. Amanda credits Reiki with guiding and healing her with gratitude for all the Reiki is and does for her. She felt called to help spread the light, hope and love of Reiki to all those who seek it, while also assisting Reiki masters with sharing their light through entrepreneurship. Resulting of what this calling is, dragon Marketplace was created. She resides in Canada and, with her second husband, brad, children Ethan, amelia and her dogs, welcome Amanda to Ready Set Reiki. Thank you so much for having me All right, wonderful and very powerful little bio introduction of you, so let's just get started on this journey. Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3:So I was very much a classic type-a personality. I am the oldest daughter of a very large family so I kind of grew up feeling like I had the you know, the burdens of the world on my shoulders. I definitely felt like I was strong enough and smart enough to handle it all, so that I kind of keep those on for a long time. But thankfully, through the cancer journey with Reiki, I've kind of moved past that. But thankfully, through the cancer journey with Reiki, I've kind of moved past that. And now I'm just this eclectic entrepreneur who has a bunch of different businesses. I remain healthy and happy and continue to put a lot of my energy into Reiki and helping others to spread the Reiki where it needs to go, which I think is everywhere. Wonderful, wonderful.
Speaker 2:So when did Reiki come into your life? Do you think that Reiki found you or you found Reiki?
Speaker 3:Oh, reiki definitely found me. So in 2019, I was having a very it was a very challenging time in my life. My husband's mental health was was really coming to a head. I had attempted to leave him. That wasn't, that wasn't successful. I ended up back with him.
Speaker 3:Actually, just days before my before, I found my first tumor and I was in a very low point. You know, on the outside, looking in, we had everything. We had a nice big house, nice cars, good vacations, very successful businesses. Materially, we had everything that we kind of dreamed of when we were young and broke, and so on paper, we had made it. But of course, I knew how I felt, which was exhausted and disconnected and just so devoid of joy and just so devoid of joy. And in hindsight I didn't even realize I was joy, wasn't even something that registered in my brain as something that I should have. I was just so busy grinding and trying to keep my husband held together and trying to keep anyone from knowing the chaos that was going on in our lives, especially our children. You know, I always thought that my husband, matt, would get help, and so I always wanted to protect his relationships with everybody so they didn't do too much damage. I spent enormous amounts of energy kind of buffering him from some of the natural consequences of the choices he was making. So it was a really, really low point.
Speaker 3:I took my office manager at the time to see a psychic for her birthday and the psychic, christy Flynn was her name. She's Canadian, but she traveled to where our little province, new Brunswick, on the East Coast, and she was so good. She was so good. She, you know, and I was. I was a just a typical divorce lawyer, if you can envision what a you know like. That's what I was like, and classic type A.
Speaker 3:So she was so good. She instantly narrowed in exactly what was happening in my family, in my family, in my life. She could identify the people that were there to talk to me my grandfather and, you know, another family member, and it was just so on point. It couldn't be ignored Like I'm a logical. I'm a logical person and there is no way that I could dismiss all of that. She also told me very kind of point blank, that I could, that I, my husband, was going to die and that I could delay it by holding on. But I couldn't prevent it and if I held on too tight, it would take both of us over the edge. And when she said that I knew it had the ring of truth, I know truth. When I hear it and I thought, man, she's right, it had the ring of truth, I know truth when.
Speaker 3:I hear it and I thought, man, she's right. She ended the session. I was kind of gathering up my stuff, and she ended the session by leaning over and touching my hand, and she looked in my eyes deep and she said if you ignore everything else I've said to you today, you need to go find Pam Allen LeBlanc. She is a Reiki master in your area and you need to book the first session. She has not. The second, not the third, I don't care what you have to cancel. You take the first session. She's got available and you cannot cancel it.
Speaker 3:I was notorious for canceling self care. I have more massage credits, I think, than anybody else in the in the country of Canada, so it was so intense that I immediately went home and booked it. I had a very peripheral understanding of Reiki, but very, very you know. I kind of knew what it was, but not really. So I booked the session, though, and the first one.
Speaker 3:So, as we said in the bio, uh, the night before my Reiki session, I was in Toys R Us with my daughter and my bra strap fell down, and I just slid my hand in under my shirt to casually pull up my cheap bra, and there under my hand was this hard tumor and it was about the size of an egg by then how I had never I guess life was just so chaotic that I wasn't paying attention before that um, and literally, like my whole life stopped in the barbie aisle of Toys R Us, um so, but the next morning I was scheduled for my first Reiki session that I had set up more than two months before, and so Reiki definitely found me and, and really that kickstarted just this amazing, beautiful spiritual journey that I'm on now. I love how you talk about how it's not a destination, it's a journey, because I I live that um. So that's, reiki found me and it for me, it's really gone hand in hand with the cancer journey, which has also been just an incredible blessing, which I know is. You know, some people take offense to um, but that that's what it's been to me. It's just been this incredible gift.
Speaker 3:It had some downsides, right. You know there was some sacrifice associated with the gift, but it was worth it, right? So, yeah, reiki definitely found me.
Speaker 2:Wow, what a beautiful and amazing story and how wonderful is you had someone that gave you that connection of someone who's an amazing resource. Pamela is wonderful. She's one of my teachers. I learned animal Reiki from her, so how wonderful, wonderful.
Speaker 3:Well, and and we started, you know, pam was so great at making. Pam is an incredibly busy person. Just you know, she's she's always running in six different directions, but she made space for me so that I could meet with her every week and we really just had this immediate connection. Um, you know, we have a lot of the same themes in our life. So, yeah, so that kind of jumpstarted it for me. It, uh, it was wonderful yeah.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. So you have been out and sharing this gift of reiki with the world, even putting together, you know, shining your light through entrepreneurship, and created the dragonfly marketplace. So, as you're out navigating in this journey here, what is a common misconception that you have found about reiki? Oh well, there's so many, so you know you have to keep in mind that you know, found about Reiki.
Speaker 3:Oh well, there's so many. So, you know, you have to keep in mind that. You know I'm in Fredericton, new Brunswick, which is a very small city, you know. So I was close. I worked with the same group of people who were all kind of divorce lawyers. So when I was diagnosed terminal in April of 2020, which is fairly common in the divorce, for divorce lawyers we either die of cancer or heart attack by like 50. Everybody just kind of expected me to lay down and die because that's what, that's what happens, right. And so when I started healing and getting happier and you know I wasn't getting dull I was getting happier, and you know I wasn't getting dull, I was getting brighter and happier and bubblier. And, um, people thought I'd lost my mind and you know. And so it's, you know, and I was.
Speaker 3:You know, I started Reiki in December 2019, getting it in May of 2020. I had my first level one and two. I was still trying to figure out what it was, because it was this kind of life changing, altering thing and it took me quite a while to get my head around what it was and what I was prepared to surrender, know, and I didn't realize it at the time, but I had a lot of religious trauma that you know Reiki has helped me process. So I, you know, in the beginning I was a little it was difficult for me to talk about Reiki because everyone thought I'd lost my mind. You know, I think some people thought the cancer was in my brain and I was just looting Um cause. Then it was such a dramatic kind of change for who, who I was, um, so the misconceptions are so many. Um, you know, I a lot of people were kind of saying, well, if it, you know they're there, dear, if it makes you feel better, and they, you know, they, kind of thought I was going to die anyway. So let her have her little delusions. But yeah, I think it's just that this, this misunderstanding, that it's more fringe than it is and that you have to go way out there for it to benefit from you. So one of the things that I tell people. So just to back up for a second, I have Dragonfly Reiki Marketplace, which is my baby, but I also have a full operating divorce firm, legal firm. We have fully incorporated Reiki into that, into our office. So all the lawyers are either Reiki masters are on their way to being Reiki masters. We have a full time Reiki masters. We have a full-time Reiki master just to work with staff and clients.
Speaker 3:The office gets Reiki'd every morning, all kinds of stuff, and so one of the things that I love telling people is you don't have to believe in it, you can be as skeptical as you want. Please question it. Question it as much as you want, because the truth can withstand questioning. And for me, that was such a departure from what I was raised. I was raised in a Baptist church which is very, very large here, and I was raised that it was a sin to question that. It was a lack of faith that you know I was to blindly follow, and in fact, when I was a kid, they created a whole separate youth group for me and my best friend because we asked too many questions and we were taking the other children, and so I think the biggest misconception or maybe misconception the wrong way but one of my favorite things about Reiki that makes a difference is that you can question it. You don't have to buy in hook line and sinker. You should question it. You should feel out what feels right to you and it works, whether or not you believe it or not. You just need to give that consent. And I loved, as a lawyer, the fact that it was all based on this idea of consent and free will was huge for my buy in.
Speaker 3:And so now all the new clients that come through our office, I say to them all the time it's easier for me for you to experience Reiki than it is for me to explain it to you. So first, if you want, you get a free session. If you open a file with us, you get a free session of Reiki so that you can experience what it is. And then, if you have questions, I can talk, but I want you to experience first. And again, you don't have to believe. You can think it's all malarkey and I really think in my mind that Reiki it's almost two levels. It's like you can just believe it's psychosomatic and that's why it works. Or you can believe that there's a spiritual, deep connection to source and the universe and all of that. And to me I have no idea where people are on their journey right. So whichever group they want, like label one, label two it doesn't matter to me. Just give your consent for it to help you. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, what a beautiful offering that you're able to give your clients. It's amazing.
Speaker 3:We found real differences in people make better decisions when they're calm and not panicked, and these are. You know there's a lot of fear associated with children and division of marital property and household finances. So we can get people out of that fight or flight, we can get them into forward thinking, we can get them calm, it's better results for them at a lower cost and it's easier on our lawyers. So it's a win-win. Reiki works with everything. Everything, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, divorce top stressors right, yeah, absolutely yeah. So if our listeners are paying attention to your timeline here, so December 2019, you were diagnosed with this aggressive breast cancer right, and in April 2020, it was deemed terminal. Now this is this landscape of behind COVID right in our world here, and then, on top of it, you had to deal in March of 2020, when things are, you know, starting to gear up in the in our country. You know, of COVID and the lockdown your, your husband, lost his battle with mental health, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that was March of 2021. So a year, yeah, a year, almost just a year later, yep.
Speaker 2:Okay, so all this is going on and yet you know you've risen up to help others in their healing journey. So everything that you've been through in your journey, what can you say, has been the biggest challenge, or rather struggle, you have faced in your healing journey?
Speaker 3:Oh, without you know, I always thought that my life would be kind of defined in kind of before cancer and after cancer.
Speaker 3:And there's no doubt that there was bad, like there was difficulties in that battle, like telling my daughter, my little girl she would have been like nine at the time that I was gonna, you know, because they thought I was gonna die within months. So you know, having those conversations that was difficult, but really the loss of Matt was just so much worse and I actually think of my life kind of before, like my time with Matt and my time after Matt. And so you know, me and I had, I had surrendered to Reiki pretty early on, almost every part of my, my being, in my, except for Matt. I would say, you know, take any release, anything from me that does not serve my highest purpose, except for Matt, I'm keeping him does not serve my highest purpose, except for Matt, I'm keeping him. And I knew, you know, you know it will. It was pretty bad at time. We found out subsequent to his death through brain scans that he had untreated schizophrenia and so his light was really really light, but his dark was really really dark and I.
Speaker 3:There was many nights where I really didn't know if I would, if I would make it through the night, and I often said to him you're going to end up killing me. And I still couldn't leave him because I knew he was sick and and I was, so you know, focused on saving him. I really believe, you know, I hear people say like you can't save someone, and I think, like they don't know me, they don't know how, they don't know how hard I'm prepared to work and how far down I'm prepared to push my own needs in order to look after him. But it did. You know, my cancer journey started me thinking about me, self care, what I wanted in life, and I made the decision that I was going to create the life I wanted, whether I lived three months or 60 years, that that was, that was going to be the focus, and so that made me start questioning all these dynamics between me and Matt, the things that I accepted, why my needs weren't important, why I allowed myself to be abused, you know, in almost every way, and what I was teaching to my children. And all of that came to the surface. Um, and I. It was only in January, when I started kind of changing my meditations to say, okay, you can take from me anything that does not serve me and yeah, okay, everything.
Speaker 3:And me and Matt had had a very um, several series of very kind of deep conversations. One of them was around me taking harsh chemo and I had said I'm not doing that. We, if I'm going to die, I'm not dragging it over three years, I'm going to die. I'm going to die or I'm going to live. And so I said you know, I'm not taking really harsh chemo, that's just going to keep me barely alive, but rob me of any kind of standard of living and I don't want my kids to live through that. I don't want their childhood defined by that. And I remember he cried and he said you know, I have no interest in being in a world without you. I, I, I can't stand the thoughts of you dying. But more than that, I can't stand the thoughts of you being in pain. I would never want you to live if that meant you were in insufferable pain.
Speaker 3:And I realized in that moment that that was exactly what I was expecting of him for all these years, because I knew that he was in insufferable pain at times we had tried to get help through various avenues and, for whatever reasons, it wasn't successful, and we were really at our wits end as to how to help him. But I realized that I was asked. That's exactly what I was through guilt and shame and pressure. That's what I was dragging him through life. And so I made that discovery in August, percolated on it until about January, because, even though I realized that I wasn't prepared to voice it because I, you know, I couldn't give him that permission we had a talk and I said you know, I want more than anything for you to heal, just like I healed. But you got to want it because it's your life, it's not my life, and I don't know what it feels to be you. And so I'm just going to love you and I'm going to love you no matter what choice you make, and I'm going to hope you get help and I'm going to continue looking for help. But ultimately, this is your journey. Um, cause he was.
Speaker 3:It was getting worse and at the time I didn't realize it Because, you know, when you're in the middle of a storm, it all looks the same. But he was. You know, it was getting more and more dramatic and more and more dangerous in a lot of ways. So letting go of him and letting and respecting the autonomy of what he ultimately decided, and then being open about it and saying he had an amazing life, he did amazing things and he made the choice to end his life and though it pains me to no ends, I respect that. To end his life, and though it pains me to no ends, I respect that, and I made the decision early in my cancer journey that I was going to be so honest that there and it was. That was a marked departure from my earlier life, because I was so secretive as to what was happening in this house and I thought, no, no more I'm. You know I'm going to. You know it was part of my processing too.
Speaker 3:So, but the loss of Matt was both terrible and beautiful and I just want to give a bit of a trigger warning, I guess. But you know I found him with a gunshot wound to the head alive in our home and it was as horrific of a moment. You know I had feared for many years what that would look like. You know I had suspected for for at least the last 10 years of our marriage that it would end that way and never in my you know, at all the times I thought about what it would be like. The pain of it couldn't even come close to what the actual horror was. But even in that worst day of my life, there was beauty and there was things to be thankful for. And because I had Reiki, I remember like when I pulled into the house, I sat in my car for a minute and I just did Reiki Just to prepare myself for whatever was in front of me and I collected myself and I went in and of course, then we went through the next terrible parts. But I returned to the bedroom where he died or where I found him, and I just sat and did Reiki and I didn't want that to become one more traumatic emotion and memory that I pushed down. And so I went and I looked around the room, I took it all in and I just sat and I I released, and there are beautiful things I found.
Speaker 3:So when I was at the hospital with Matt telling him that it was, you know, he was non-responsive, um, you know, but I was holding his hand and talking to him and I said, like you can go, like it's okay, and uh, my grandpa. I was raised by a single mom, so my grandfather was kind of a massive part of my my childhood and who I am as a person. And so I said to Matt, I said my grampy will be there to meet you, you know, know that my grampy will be there. Well, when I went into the room beside his bed, I actually found my, the obituary for my grandfather. I don't know where my, I don't know where Matt found that, I don't know where, like I'm sure it was tucked away in a drawer somewhere, but there it was and it was confirmation to me that, okay, my grandfather was there, we're on the same page.
Speaker 3:You know, I had told Matt in our last conversation and he had talked openly about suicide. I really didn't believe he'd do it, but he did talk openly about it and I had said, you know, in that moment I had this well, the universe, the universe gave me the insight to say, like you know, don't hold anything back, say everything, everything that you need to say. And so one of the things I had said is you need to send me so many signs that you're okay. And he has it started immediately. We dimes everywhere, um, and we're a we're a debit family, like we tap everything. Um, we have jars and jars and jars of dimes that have been found in the most random of places, from in walls to, uh, in flower beds, to under towels, to under sheets. You know, just amazing.
Speaker 3:But you know, after Matt died, I was exhausted in a way that I had never been before. I went through all the different stages of grief, including anger, you know. I was finally safe enough to be angry and Reiki is what helped me process all of that. You know the ups and the downs. It's what taught me how to sit with my feelings, and so I hadn't done that my whole life. It's like if something hurt, I was just like, oh, that hurts, let's put a wall around it and just get busy over here so I don't have to deal with it. And so I had all these sore spots inside of myself that I was, you know, but I didn't know what to do with.
Speaker 3:But Reiki led me to what I needed to do and in one meditation I thought, like how do I don't even know where to start? And the energy told me treat yourself, treat your inner child like you. Would your daughter Ask her why she feels that way? And then listen without criticizing, ask her, ask yourself what is the basis of that assumption? Is that actually factual? Do you know that? Are you guessing that? Does that make sense, now that you've said it out loud?
Speaker 3:And so I started this and Matt's death allowed me that because, you know, I had this very hectic, crazy busy life with all these businesses and, you know, just everyday life, and I really just retreated to my backyard where I would meditate, where I would. You know, me and Matt had this crazy rollercoaster of a life together, and it, you know, the highs were high. A life together, and it, you know, the highs were high but the lows were so low and there really wasn't anything in between. And so Reiki taught me how, in these one out, like on, you know, I continued to see Pam, but I also kind of moved through the levels of Reiki fairly quickly because I was convinced of its healing abilities. And so I, you know, I, leaned into that so deeply during that time, and it was also in tandem with, you know, when I was, when I was told that my scans were cleared, the doctor said Listen, this is really great, but at some point you're going to get a bad flu or some big emotional thing will happen in your life and your body's going to get run down and this cancer will just explode through you. And so I, you know, at the time I kept thinking like I can't imagine what could be more, you know, taxing on my body than this. And so it really kind of kept me honest in my focused on healing, because I needed to manage that stress. I couldn't just push it down, because I knew that pushing it down led to cancer and I already learned the lessons from that. I was ready to put that crutch down. So, yeah, I mean, I think that's what my biggest challenge was. But it was also a gift and, like all of it was a gift, I'm thankful for every moment of the path and the journey I walked with Matt, because it's led to where I am right now, which is just amazing. It also led me.
Speaker 3:You know, for years I hid in Matt's chaos and his mental health. Nobody expected me to be working on myself, because he was a hot mess. Oh, amanda's great. She holds Matt together, isn't she a a great wife? And he's so lucky to have her. And you know, every once in a while he'd smile at me and say you know you hide in my mess so you don't have to deal with the stuff that's going on inside of you. And I'd say, what are you talking about? Like he was right, he was totally right, um, and so there was nowhere left to hide. You know, I knew I had to deal if I wanted to remain healthy, to live my life and raise my kids. I knew that I needed to do that inventory of pain and hurt and all of that, and Reiki was the tool that got me through that.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. Well, thank you for sharing that and being so open and transparent about your journey, and I am sorry for your loss.
Speaker 3:He's good. I could always tell when he. You know, he could be in Vegas and I could be on the east coast of Canada, or he could be out hunting in the mountains in Alberta. I always could tell when he was, when his soul was happy and when it wasn't. And you know, I still feel him all the time. I still, you know, every once in a while it's always when I least expected or hear his voice, and it's always the same, like usually when I'm spiraling about something with business, and he'll say, like, like come on, asshole, you know what you're doing is right. Like it's just the same way that he would have referred to me, right. So he's good and I'm thankful for it all.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. So our next question is what do you wish your younger self knew about your current profession in Reiki?
Speaker 3:So I was. When I was young I was fairly spiritual, not necessarily in the classic Baptist way, but I, you know, I felt very connected to the spirit. And then I went to university and law school and I really, it's almost like I put a cement wall up. It's like, okay that we call it hippy dippy, that's hippy dippy, I'm a logical lawyer, that's over there, that's here. And I really at some point made the decision and I don't, I don't recall, but at some point it's like I got to a fork in the road and I said that stuff's all over here and not for me. I'm a business woman, I'm a lawyer, I I've got no time for that hippy dippy stuff. I wish the younger could know that.
Speaker 3:You know those two paths can and should walk hand in hand and I don't think I would have lost myself in the same way. You know, by the time Reiki knocked down my door, I was so disconnected from who I wanted to be and who I thought I should be. I really was a shell, who I wanted to be and who I thought I should be. I really was a shell and I had this reoccurring, almost fantasy of just ceasing to exist. And it's not that I wanted to die because I, you know, I had these amazing kids that I could have never left. But I just thought, if there was a way for me not to exist and not to hurt anybody, that would be the choice. I think that's how disconnected I felt. So if I could go back, I would say, like, don't let go of that, Continue to develop it Like it is.
Speaker 3:You know, almost every psychic I've ever gone to they start off by saying, oh, you could do this if you wanted. You have blocked all of that, and you know, and so you have blocked all of that, and you know, and so, and I've started opening that up and so, yeah, I think you know, sometimes I lament, you know, the 20 plus years that I lost of my spiritual journey, but I think I had to go through those hard days to get the lessons, which is why I don't take offense when I offer Reiki to someone and they're a hard. No, that's okay. Maybe I planted the seed and maybe they're gonna. You know, maybe that seed's gonna take 20 years to produce, but it's, I'm still gonna plant it.
Speaker 2:Very good. So you shared a little bit about. You meet with Pam for Reiki sessions. So when it is that time to get that energetic tune up, what qualities do you look for in a Reiki practitioner?
Speaker 3:So in the beginning. In the beginning it was just for me, it was just the calm that it brought to my life. But now you know me and Pam she she remains my Reiki lady, don't get me wrong, but it has really kind of grown more into a friendship and she definitely mentors me too. But now where I'm at is, you know, I'm kind of more secure in my Reiki and what I understand, I'm more comfortable in my intuition. And so now what I'm looking for is variety.
Speaker 3:I want to see, I really believe that the path that I walked was in large part so that I could help other people walking through similar journeys. So, like, my favorite people to work with in sessions are people who are have a terminal cancer diagnosis or who have dealt with suicide diagnosis, or who have dealt with suicide, either ideolation on their own part or have lost somebody. But I believe everybody's path, and so my thing now is is it's great to have a trusted, comfortable Reiki lady or practitioner, but really what I want is I want diversity. I want to see what Reiki looks like that's coming out of the UK or Australia or, you know, oregon or Kansas City or whatever. I want to see the different path people have walked in and what they've learned.
Speaker 3:And so for me, you know, in the beginning, because I was so unsure and so wounded and I really needed a steady practitioner that knew, week on, week off, like, okay, amanda, this is what we worked on last week, I needed somebody that I could know and trust. Now I trust myself. I've got my own Reiki. You know, I have a full time Reiki master, charlene the office, who is just amazing. She does all kinds of things with my chakras, so she's kind of my go to. But then there's also, thankfully, through Dragonfly this, you know this plethora of other practitioners from across the world and really now I'm excited to see how that feels, how that energy, how that's how that's come about and how they interpret it. So I guess that's where I'm at now with it all All right very good.
Speaker 2:So what advice would you give someone who's just entering this profession? So, as a Reiki master, as a yes into Reiki.
Speaker 3:So the first advice I would give them would be to join dragonflyreikime. So so, and really that's who I created. The platform for is new Reiki masters. So when I was going through my journey, you know, I took all these classes. I've taken classes from Pam, I've taken classes from William Rand, I've done different workshops and stuff and I continue to come across these incredibly talented Reiki practitioners and masters who who, for a variety of logistical reasons, weren't in a place to open a full-time practice.
Speaker 3:You know, maybe it was their kids were little, maybe it's that they had mortgages and jobs that they, you know, they couldn't just walk away from. And I kept thinking like it's such a shame because these people have such bright lights, like they are light bringers, they have healing the world needs, what they can do, and I kept thinking like there's so many logistical barriers for them. And so in the summer after Matt died, when I spent so much of my time in meditation and just kind of quiet contemplation, and I did my cards a lot too, I did a lot of cards and it kept coming back Don't forget your special purpose. Don't forget your special purpose.
Speaker 3:And at first I thought it was to give Reiki to people and I was like, no, that's not quite right. As much as I would just love to do that, I knew ultimately that wasn't. That wasn't quite right. Instead, what the universe brought to me is that my interesting background, as you know running all these different businesses put me in a unique position to start an online platform that would remove the hurdles logistical hurdles from new Reiki masters from sharing their light. And so I started thinking about what those hurdles were. So, office space well, thankfully, reiki can be done at a distance.
Speaker 3:Now, you know, people are scared of taxes, especially in Canada, right? So taxation is a huge part of our life. Sure, I thought, okay, I can take care of the taxation issue. Asking for money for their services you know, a lot of Reiki practitioners really struggle with this concept of charging for something that is spiritual and feels good. Sure, right. And so I thought, okay, well, people can book and pay up front and then I'll pay them, so they're not asking for money. And then I thought about marketing and I thought, well, if there was a large platform, then we could pull the resources to do both macro advertising and then also I could help empower them to do micro advertising with ads and stuff like that. And so it came to me that that was my, what, my, you know what one of my special kind of projects was to be on earth, and that I was, while I'm, a light bringer. Really, what my job is is to help others find the way to shine their light, and so that's what dragonfly is. It's there for the new practice, the new reiki master.
Speaker 3:You you have to be a Reiki master from any lineage If you want to do, if you have time for two sessions a month, and that's it right. The world needs those two sessions a month If you, if you're looking at it as part time, you know, or stay at home, parents while their kids are at school great, two hours to 40 to 60. We set no limits or maximums on how many sessions you can do. You can change it every week. So if one week you know it's a pretty quiet week and the next week your kids have activities all over the place, you can. You can change your hour, available hours on the fly as as your life changes. So really, we tried to take all of the logistical hurdles out and create this wonderful place online, and it was really all designed with this idea of a marketplace.
Speaker 3:And many years ago, the universe put me in a Guatemalan market and it was 17. And I actually hitchhiked there by myself. I was on a World Vision tour, which is like an NGO, and got up early in the morning and decided I wanted to buy a blanket, and so I hitchhiked there and back before everyone woke up. And the universe is definitely looking out for me. But that imprinted in my memory and so when I started thinking about what I wanted the Dragonfly marketplace to be like, I thought back to that market and how it was so exciting. Everybody had their stall and everybody got to decorate their stall how they wanted and decide what they marketed. And so that's what the Dragonfly Marketplace is like.
Speaker 3:You have a landing page where you can easily post meditations, articles. You've written pictures from your life, write-ups. You can decide what. If you specialize in things, you can pick those specialties. If there's something not listed, you just send us a message and we add it. Things you can pick those specialties. If there's something not listed, you just send us a message and we add it, you know? So we really we want people to make that their own.
Speaker 3:And then the other part of the market that kind of made its way into the online platform is the idea of the community board. So at every marker I'm at there's a big community board. So we created a community board for all the practitioners so that they can post their classes, their Reiki shares, their podcasts, their all of that stuff and that's open to anyone that goes to the website to go and see what is happening online. What is happening, you know, because I Reiki is a gift that everyone should have access to, and so it was really important to me that we gave people, even if they didn't have the money that day to get a Reiki session, that they could still access Reiki resources.
Speaker 3:So that, yeah, so that would be the advice I give a new practitioner is join, let us help you build your practice and share your light. So we currently have practitioners across the US, canada, uk, australia, japan and Romania. We just added Romania and that literally happened, where a lady wrote and said, hey, I'm in Romania and I don't see Romania for the drop down list, and I said, you know, give me a day, and the next day Romania was up so we can add, you know, any country? You're in Zimbabwe right now now and you want to do Reiki, great, we can sign you up. Just send us an email. But yeah, that's the advice I would give.
Speaker 2:All right, wonderful, and thank you for putting that together to have a safe space for Reiki masters.
Speaker 3:It really is my demonstration of gratitude for the path I've walked, the healing I've experienced, the joy that's in my life. You know, my mother actually asked me. My mom had a really hard time with my diagnosis, of course, and she actually asked me right afterwards, shortly after. She said, okay, you seem so happy If you could do, you know, three years, or five years in your current life or 50 in your old life, which would you pick? And I said three years in my new life, three months in my new life? Yes, Like you know, and it was an instant, there was no, I didn't have. I knew the answer. Right, and that is the power of Reiki and that's that's why I want everyone to experience it right, and yeah All right.
Speaker 2:So what books do you recommend?
Speaker 3:So there's a couple that have been and I should have grabbed them. One is called the Biology of Belief, and so that was the first book that was given to me and essentially it's kind of a. It's kind of a. It's very well written and it's very readable, but it's kind of the science behind why what you believe matters.
Speaker 3:And so one of the things when you're diagnosed with terminal cancer is they work really hard to convince you you're going to die. And when you push back against that you know my oncologist, who is a kind, competent, loving lady, you know she said to me I think, you know, I think you're in denial and I think you're just full of false hope. And I had said to her okay, I am living with hope and I've made that decision. That's a conscious decision, and so if you think it's false hope, then I'm going to end up dying the same time I would have anyway, but I will have lived every day with hope, right. And so after that she kind of accepted it. But I made that decision that, even if it was faint hope and my, my second doctor, uh, who I had a second opinion from, I had said my goal originally was to live 10 years, because my daughter then would have been 19 and I didn't want to die in her grade 12 year. Right, I didn't want to ruin prom.
Speaker 3:So I thought, okay, such a planner, right. I'm like, okay, I'll live 10 years, she'll get through high school, I'll die, she'll take a gap year and I'll die. In that gap year She'll be able to grieve me and then, you know, she'll go to university, yes. And so I said to him is that possible? And he said, oh, amanda, that's a that's highly, highly improbable.
Speaker 3:And I said but is it possible? And he said maybe possible. And I ran with that, maybe possible. And so the biology of belief came into my life at the exact, exact right moment. Because, while everyone around me was saying you're going to die, including my childhood best friend who literally screamed at me you think good vibes is going to cure terminal cancer. You know, that biology of belief was just so important for me because it taught me that everything that happens in my head, every cell in my body is listening to. And so I didn't say I'm sick, I said I'm healing. I didn't say I'm going to die, I said I'm going to live as much as I can until the end. You know, I just all those little switches of you know I give this long.
Speaker 3:Once I got the Karuna Reiki, I did this long 45 minute meditation I recorded for myself and, like the author in the book, I literally broke down from my body, step by step, what it needed to do. Okay, any cancer. So any cell that's mutated, I'm going to ask you now to allow yourself to be broken down, but don't worry, you're going to be created into a new cell. So I need you to surrender so that you can be rebirthed as a healthy cell and I thank you for the lessons you've taught me. And you know it's like on and on and on and I often think of like I am the supervisor of this. My mind and soul is a supervisor of this collection of cells.
Speaker 3:And if you think about how you respond at work, do you respond when people are negative and yelling at you and depreciating you and you're? You know you're not skinny enough and you know, don't you wish you? You know I always wanted to have this beautiful dark complexion right. You know we always want what we didn't have we don't have, you know. You know, like all these self criticisms versus if you're in a workplace where it's positive and uplifting and you're great and you're healing and you're wonderful, where do you? Where?
Speaker 3:do you thrive. The same thing applies to our bodies, and the biology of belief taught me that. The other book for cancer patients is called radical remission. Radical remissions is when terminal cancer just radically disappears. It has happened in every kind of cancer from you know, like pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly. It's even happened in that, and so that gave me hope that there were others out there like me. And in that book they study, instead of studying the people who died, they studied the people who didn't die, who just cancer just magically went away, and they compile all the various things they did, and what's really interesting is that the bulk of them are around the mind, body connection, what you tell yourself, suppressed emotions, how you see the world, do you want to live? And so, while I've had many wonderful books in my journey, those are the two that I would highly recommend to people.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. Thank you for giving those recommendations, thank you. So what services do you offer? Do you offer classes, events, trainings?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you know I made the I was going to say difficult, but it really wasn't a difficult decision. I made the decision to step back from my active practice. So I still have junior lawyers who are amazing, who I support and guide, but I have stepped back from lawyering to really focus on Reiki and Dragonfly and so I do offer one-on-one sessions which can be booked through Dragonfly. I'm on there, so we do sessions which can be booked through dragonfly. I'm on there, so we we do sessions again. I will do them for anybody, but my really where I feel like shine is around issues of suicide and addiction and terminal cancer or terminal diseases, because I have special insight into those. And also, I would say, divorce, because I, you know, I've walked, I've walked through a lot of divorces in my time. So you can book me through the site. I have I think it's three days right now that I have open spots, but I'm pretty good at accommodating. If there's a different time schedule, Again, you can message through the app, Happy to answer those.
Speaker 3:I also do teach, so we do right now level one and two together, and then the masters and then Karuna, so we do those as a hybrid class. So we do them here. We have a location here that's just beautiful, where people can come just outside of Fredericton, New Brunswick, and then we also have people stream live stream at the same time over Zoom, so people can attend those. We also do kind of one off workshops around, like, for instance, cutting cords after divorce. You know just kind of one off things.
Speaker 3:But the best way to know what is happening with us because there's always new stuff is to check that community board so you can just go in under under me and you'll be able to see all the classes we have offered and all the special kind of one offs we call it. We call them soul spa days, right? So this idea that you know self self love used to be going and getting your nails done and maybe you know whatever, but now we want people to skip the nails and work on what's inside. That will. That'll last longer than the shellac.
Speaker 2:Wonderful, so you are available online and in person in new Brunswick area.
Speaker 3:Yes, and, and also for anybody who is kind of looking to talk about the cancer stuff, I'm also accessible through that Amanda's Tango with terminal cancer. That's a Facebook page. It's people message me from all over the world. There's also a write-up that I've created. That's both on my Dragonfly profile but also on Amanda's Tango and it's just called the Breakdown of Steps Taken to Heal, and so literally, the document was really guided by the universe.
Speaker 3:It only took me about two and a half hours to write and I'm known for my terrible editing. Oh and it it was very little of it. It was. I could tell the universe was involved because I spelled words correctly, quite frankly. But, um, and it really is step by step. It's what I wish I would have had the first day I found out I had cancer. It's like breadcrumbs and I'm not there to tell people exactly what they can do. I'm not a doctor, I'm not, but it's breadcrumbs of where to start and I tell people to lean into what feels right to them. So that's also accessible. Pam hosted on her website, I hosted on my page and that has been accessed over 10,000 times around the world.
Speaker 2:So it's, it's out there, beautiful, and what a gift to leave those little bits of breadcrumbs on on the journey that people are walking on. So, yeah, well, and what?
Speaker 3:I found. What I found is you know, you, you find a tumor and then you get in the medical system. Then you wait and wait and wait and you wait for this test and wait for that and the waiting is just awful. So this gives people, like, okay, on day one, here are things that you can start doing, whether it's stage two or stage four, you don't have cancer at all. Like, here are things to put your body, get your body in shape. Here is the thing anyway. So it's it's. It's what I wish I had, would have had the first day All right?
Speaker 2:Well, this ends the first part of our journey together, and I'm going to continue to guide you into the second part, which are questions from social media. So here we go. Number one as someone who is dealing with a cancer diagnosis, how can Reiki help me as I navigate through my health challenges?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so great question. I don't like to use the word crutch because it's not a crutch, but it's akin to a crutch. It's a helping hand. That's what it is. It's a hand to lean on and guide you. And so if you, if you are open to letting it heal you, guide you and direct you into what needs healed, it will take you there. You just have to create the space.
Speaker 3:And I always tell people like start where you're at, don't wait until everything you know perfect, or start where you're at, so and and allow yourself the space to actually answer the questions or to listen to the listen to the answers, the questions you ask. Allow yourself quiet time and it's like a muscle the more you do it, the better you get at it. So if somebody would have told me five years ago that I would, that my favorite thing to do would be to sit in the quiet for an hour or so at a time and meditate, I would have told them there was no way at all that that was possible because I have massive ADHD, completely unmedicated. So the thoughts of me sitting quietly and meditating is just so would was so far from where or who I was. Quietly and meditating is just so would was so far from where or who I was, but that's where you start Just quieting yourself. You know there's there's so many. We're so lucky. There's so many wonderful resources out there, whether it's YouTube, whether it's podcast, whether it's, you know, dragonfly Reiki that has lots of meditations on it. Whether there is access Reiki that has lots of meditations on it. Whether there is access. We have such great access to so many different healing modalities and Reiki meditations. Start there, allow yourself to open your mind off and and again, just lean into that.
Speaker 3:I often think about it. One of my favorite movies is the Christmas Chevy Chase's National Anthem, christmas Vacation, and I often envision it. You know, when Rusty has that ball of lights that's all tangled up. I often envision that as my life and the problems in my life and I envision myself literally handing it to the universe and being like, okay, I'm going to let you untangle that, I'm just going to sit here and watch you untangle it. And it really can be that easy. You just have to allow the universe to help you untangle all those emotions and pains and confusion. You just have to give it the space and be willing to let it down and lean into it and know that. I guess the other thing I would say is and I think why my Tango with terminal cancer page was so important to me was healing isn't all rainbows and lollipops. It gets dark at times and it gets uncomfortable at times and and it's still worth it. And in those call, in those dark times, that's when you know you lean into it. And the other day and again it's again. It's that journey, right, like I'm still learning. I'm still searching back to things that I got to learn more of.
Speaker 3:So we are doing a bunch of accounting here for our year ends across the different companies, um, and there's. So we're, we're doing that and I've been in camping land for about a month, which kind of drains me because I don't get to do the. I wasn't getting to do as much spiritual stuff as I wanted and I was sitting in my chair in my room that I usually meditate on, and I was playing this game on my phone. Traffic jam right and I was just absolutely miserable in my.
Speaker 3:I was feeling miserable in that moment and the little voice in my head said you know, if you just put your phone down and meditated, you would feel so much better. And I thought, no, I'm just going to sit here and feel bad. And so I think we always have those choices. And you know, once I said it out loud no, I'm just going to sit here and feel bad. It's like okay, put the phone away, do the meditation, you'll feel better, right? So learning though, learning accepting and learning that there's going to be times like that and that it is. You know, if you, if you just look at the short term, it looks up and down but you're continuing to move up. It's just ebbs and flows to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just ebbs and flows to it. Um, yeah, all right. Our second question from our listeners is what inspired you to create your facebook page? Abandons tango with terminal cancer yeah.
Speaker 3:So there was a lot of profound shifts taking place in me, and one of them was that I had lived a lie right, that what I was living was almost a total lie.
Speaker 3:And I thought I am not going to die that way and I'm no longer going to live that way, and so that was one thing. The other thing was I always felt like I needed that, that there had to be some point to it all, and I thought, if the point was just for me to chronicle and change how we talk about death, then that was something, and then maybe that was enough, and then it was also for my own processing Writing has always been a powerful way for me to process. And then, lastly, it was, you know, my little girl. You know she was, she was so young at the time, and and though she, you know she was so young at the time, and though she's wise beyond her years, you know, it occurred to me that she wouldn't remember me, or that she would have sporadic memories of me.
Speaker 3:And I want and my son too my son, actually, my son's, my stepson and his mom actually had passed away already, so he was facing losing a second mother, and he was.
Speaker 3:He was my daughter's age when he lost his mom, and I knew from him that he didn't have memories of his mom, and so I kind of knew that Amelia probably wouldn't have a lot of memories of me, have a lot of memories of me, and so I wanted to leave something for her so that someday, when she was ready, she could come back and she could retrace the steps of what I was feeling. And in fact I mean, you can go back, you know, if you can go back to the beginning of Amanda's Tango and see all that. All that and every once in a while I do because it's it reminds me of just how far I've come, how much I've gone through and what a blessing it all was. And it's kind of like you can see me kind of start to figure things out, but really it was. I wanted my daughter if she wanted to someday understand the journey that I had walked, if I wasn't there to tell her.
Speaker 2:So what a wonderful gift that is. Again, and through all of your experiences, you know you continue to continue to give to others, and that's what's so amazing about your journey is you know you were pushing through and working on yourself, but also thinking of others well, and it's interesting because one of the things that I had to heal, of course, was a was my martyr syndrome, right, and my chronic overgiving.
Speaker 3:So it's kind of interesting in that I, you know, I've always given and, but I used to give to the point of I was breaking and part of what Reiki can heal is that imbalance, right. So there's nothing that makes me happier than giving and sharing, right, like, and I've helped other people heal and that has been, just, you know, profoundly pleasing. But but yeah, you know, like that it has been, it's so much nicer to give when you're giving from a balanced place versus chicken with their head cut off, running around.
Speaker 3:Right right, right, but yeah, no, I love giving.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it goes back to you know, when we're healing, we're in service. When we're in service, we're healing, exactly exactly. So the third question is how would you respond to people who label energy?
Speaker 3:healing or label Reiki as woo, yeah. So we call it hippy dippy here, but same idea, it doesn't matter. I, you know when I was, when I was new to Reiki, I would get, so I was so defensive of it and you know my, you know my friend yelling at me. You know good vibes aren't aren't going to cure terminal cancer and you know it wounded me because I was insecure in my beliefs and really it hurt because I was scared she was right and really it hurt because I was scared she was right. Now I'm so comfortable in my skin it doesn't bother me who it's meant for. We'll find it and I don't need to force or get insulted.
Speaker 3:We've started marketing on Dragonfly and obviously we get trolls all the time. Right, it's just. And you know when it first started I was, oh, now it's like I engage with them and I engage with them lovingly and, and you know, maybe we'll never make a difference. But it's not about them, it's about me. So I also accept that I don't know the purpose of any one person's journey on this earth, including my own. I'm figuring it out as it unfolds. So maybe that troll is doing exactly what he's supposed to be doing. Maybe that person who desperately I think desperately needs Reiki and just completely cuts himself off and refuses it. Maybe that's their life plan. Maybe they've got to go through this really hard growth life without the magic of Reiki, without the relief of Reiki. I don't know. And so once I accepted that I didn't know what anyone's path was, it took out the judgment and so that when they don't judge people why they're doing what they're doing, couple that with that. I'm now secure in what I believe. I'm so secure in what I believe that I don't feel threatened. So people can believe in it or not. It really doesn't impact it. It's still true. So everybody has the right in this life to live how they want and if they want, if they choose, they want to live with the magic of Reiki. That's fine. But I often say to people before you make any decisions, come try it. Which is why our law firm is set up so that people try Reiki before we talk about it, because I want them to feel the light and the love and the release of it. And so I always tell people like you can believe in it, don't believe in it, that's fine. Be critical of it, be very critical of it, question everything and when you, you know, go through that process if you feel called and if you don't feel called, okay, maybe someday later you will. But I tell people to question it, feel comfortable and I think for so many, especially again that religious trauma, the idea that you can question it is liberating In and of itself. It makes it dramatically different than you know most of the major religions, and that's you know.
Speaker 3:I remember Pam I can't remember exactly what I had, the question she had said. I said, oh, I don't think that's true. And she said that's okay, you don't have to believe in it, it's still true. And she just moved on.
Speaker 3:And then I was in a class with William Rand in Detroit, a Karuna Reiki class in person, and he was amazing. If you have an opportunity, it's anyone out there, well worth the money. And somebody said something and he goes I don't know, you should, you should meditate on that. And then he followed up by saying you know you, nobody here should just blindly believe everything. I say, like, it's important that you question. If I say something that you don't think it's right, meditate on it and it's just, you know. It really struck me as the difference there, right, like, so you know, I think everybody can benefit from Reiki, but I accept that not everybody wants it.
Speaker 3:And my, my, my new husband spoiler alert I got remarried after swearing I would never get married again, met a man, fell madly in love and he is just the most amazing thing ever. Anyway, we're very lucky. But he always says everybody's entitled to as much misery as they want, and that's true. And so I you know people and I lean, I'm up front with people. I know this is hippy dippy to you, that's okay, and I think just giving people that permission to question and to believe it's hippy dippy.
Speaker 3:And you know, and I always tell people, you can believe that it works because it's psychosomatic and because you're just calm and in the room smells nice and somebody's you know showering energy on. You can believe that's why you know. You can believe that's why it works. Or you can believe it's because you're connected to the, you know, a universal force that you know is all of that. It doesn't really matter. Important thing is is that you consent to it helping you, whether you believe it can help you or not, or it's real or not. And so that's where I get people to start and then I let the energy work, because I trust that the energy is going to unfold in each and every life the way it's supposed to Wonderful.
Speaker 2:Well, that was our last question. Is there anything else that, as we've been talking, you may have forgot about, or something that you want to mention? You can take this time right now to share that with our listeners.
Speaker 3:So I didn't know what I was going to say, but I think what's come to me is that it all starts. The upswing on your journey starts with self-love, and I nobody knew how little love I had for myself in 2019 and how hard it was for me to look myself in the mirror and how uncomfortable you know I I couldn't stay home because I couldn't sit with my thoughts. I was continuously looking for distractions from everything that was crying inside of me, and my self healing journey really had to start with me just loving who I was and giving myself the kindness that I gave to everybody around me that I loved. And so, for people that are struggling right now, treat yourself with the same kindness and grace that you treat the people you cherish most in your life, and that, in and of itself, is transformative. It doesn't matter what you did.
Speaker 3:You know I used to think all the time that people knew what really went on in my head. They wouldn't love me If I didn't run around looking after all these people. They wouldn't love me. You know I put all these conditions in my head on on me being lovable that often were completely concocted, and we're really just through the lens of my own hurt and trauma that I wasn't dealing with and they just weren't true a lot of it Like they just weren't true. And if they were true, then that wasn't a person that was meant to remain in my life. And so if you're feeling disconnected, if you're feeling like you don't even know where to start, start with just being kind to yourself, giving yourself grace, acknowledging when you do something good, when you are good at something. And if you don't know how to start, self-love, Reiki is the place to start, because that divine love can come in and it really feels like a warm, peaceful hug and just a safe space.
Speaker 2:Thank you, and I'm going to slip in one extra question here. So the meaning of dragonfly, is it something special for you?
Speaker 3:So we debate? Yes, so we debated. You know there was lots of discussion in the law firm about what this site should be called and there's a picture I have of my first husband, matty, and it's at this camp that we own. So we have about 200 acres on this beautiful river where eventually we will do, eventually we'll do workshops and stuff. But he had gotten, we had bought that land just before I got diagnosed and he had raced to build me a camp there because we wanted our kids to have memories of me at this camp and it's a really, really special place and, of course, what ultimately happened is our kids have memories of him at that camp because he died and I lived. But we had this. There was this particularly joyful day. We were all there and a dragonfly landed on his finger and I have this wonderful picture of him holding this dragonfly.
Speaker 3:And then I thought back to various moments in our lives.
Speaker 3:On our first anniversary, we had gone on a canoe trip, just the two of us, and we got to this one part of the section of the river and there was literally thousands of dragonflies and it was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. And then, of course. So that was kind of where. You know, I had this picture in my office and one of the ladies that worked for me at the time said what about dragonfly? And then it just kind of rolled off my tongue dragonfly, reiki marketplace, because I wanted the concept of the marketplace, that was key to me, but what to call it? And then of course the dragonfly, you know, has so much spiritual meaning as far as transformative and message and healing and um, but yeah, we, you, I often think back to that picture of Matt of holding the dragonfly and in fact his sister and mom. I think of him with dimes is what he leaves for me, but for his mother and his sister it's dragonflies. And so, yeah, that's where the name came from Beautiful beautiful.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much, amanda, for taking this journey with me and taking time out of your very busy schedule to join me on Ready Set Reiki.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for having me, and I would just add. One last thing is for your listeners out there who have Reiki. Dragonfly Reiki Marketplace is very much outside my wheelhouse as far as, like you know, I'm a business person but not technology wise not on this scale and so I would ask the Reiki practitioners out there to put Dragonfly in their grid, if they have one, and to send it just for everyone's highest good and to help to add us on Facebook and just help get our message out there. We really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:It is a project for the universe and, yeah, thank you so much for having me Wonderful and, amanda, you have served in so many wonderful roles, but the most important is that you are remaining healthy, strong, vibrant and you are incredibly thankful for the second chance that you've been given. Yes, thank you so much. Sure Well, our wonderful listeners. If you would like your question featured on Ready Set Reiki, just reach out at wwwreadysetreikicom or find me on social media. Also, if you're interested in yoga, reiki and Reiki trainings, check out Feather Sister Wellness, where there's a variety of yoga classes, yoga trainings, reiki and Reiki trainings. You can find that at wwwthefeathersistercom. I'm Tracy Seawright and this has been Ready Set Reiki © transcript Emily Beynon.