GRIEF AND LIGHT

Showing Up Meaningfully in 2025: Evolving from "Me" to "We"

• Nina Rodriguez • Season 4 • Episode 63

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2025: It's a year of big changes, big feelings, and maybe even a little bit of big grief.  Feeling a little lost in the chaos of 2025? You're not alone. 

On this episode of Grief and Light, host Nina Rodriguez dives deep into what it means to show up meaningfully in "unprecedented" times. She explores the idea of the "pendulum redux," the power of our individual callings, and why connection and joy are non-negotiable. Join Nina for an honest and reflective episode about meeting life as it is, personal stories, and actionable tools to help you cultivate connection, compassion, and hope in the face of whatever life throws your way. 

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Click here to watch on YouTube

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Takeaways:

  • 2025 marks a significant shift in collective experiences.
  • Grief is not just about death; it's about life-altering changes.
  • We all have a role to play in supporting each other.
  • We go from thesis, to antithesis, then synthesis.
  • Mindfulness and self-care are essential during difficult times.
  • Building community and empathy is crucial for healing.
  • Sharing our stories can empower others and foster connection.
  • Finding joy is a key ingredient for resilience.
  • It's important to acknowledge and validate each other's experiences.
  • We are moving from a culture of individualism to collectivism.
  • You are not alone in your grief; seek out support.


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2025 is marking a clear before and after in the collective. Finding ways to show up meaningfully for ourselves, each other, and the collective is really, really important and it's going to be key. We all have a role to play. You have a role to play. And learning what that is, whether it's big, whether it's small, and hit, hit, it's probably going to be smaller than you think, is really, really important. You just lost your loved one. Now what?

Welcome to the Grief in Life podcast where we explore this new reality through grief colored lenses. Openly, authentically, I'm your host, Nina Rodriguez. Let's get started. Hello, everybody. My name is Nina Rodriguez and I am your host. Welcome back to the Grief in Life podcast. Season four, we are here. And I have to be honest, this is not the episode I thought I was going to make for the first episode of season four.

But I believe in meeting life and people, ourselves and each other exactly where things are at. I believe in meeting life where it's at, meeting each other where we are at, meeting ourselves where we are at and not pretending to be anywhere else. And at the moment of this recording, it is early February. So we've had the year start off in the US, particularly with some very big changes, unprecedented times as

it's popularly said, and it truly feels that way, really unprecedented. So we have the LA fires at the moment, environmental changes, we've had a new administration in place, and all the changes that are happening so fast, like the rules of the game feel like they're changing, and this is causing a great deal of stress for a lot of people and a lot of...

heaviness in the air. I work with grievers one-on-one, so I hear their concerns up close and from many different angles. Some people are happy and upset that other people are upset, and then some people are terrified for their survival and the uncertainty on top of their personal grief. So the question that keeps swirling in my mind is what is our role in this changing landscape and

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How do we continue to show up meaningfully with empathy and compassion amidst collective grief? What is our, what do we do basically? What energy do we have to embody? And this episode is not to give you an answer on your role. So I want to be very clear about that. I'm not here to tell you what to do. I'm not here to preach about what you should be or shouldn't be doing. As you know, I don't believe in the shoulds of life. I believe in seeing life as it is.

and being authentic with ourselves, each other, being compassionate, empathetic, respectful, and trying to see the bigger picture while identifying our role in it. So we're going to part from that premise, okay? And if you're watching on YouTube and you see me looking to the side, I wrote notes so I could stay focused on the conversation because I can be, I can have a tendency to just digress all over the place. So I wanna keep it focused. The idea that keeps

coming to my mind, it's the idea of the pendulum redux, which is how life always swings between opposing forces. It is never static. It's very dynamic, constantly changing. We know this with our mind, but we are living right now through a time of change. And if you're a millennial, that's all you've ever known like me, and that's pretty much all we've ever known. at this point, we may as well get comfortable with it. So the pendulum redux.

I'm not going to give you the scholar version of it. I'm going to give you the ideas. I understand it and the point that I want to make with it. So there is a German philosopher by the last name of Hegel or Hegel. I'm not sure how to say their last name. They were from the 19th century and they came up with the idea of thesis, antithesis and synthesis. And I'll explain this concept. It's something that my father actually tells me quite a bit. It's like life.

is always finding a new center. Life is always finding a new baseline from which to operate. So in Hegel, I'm not gonna say Hegel, I'm sorry if I'm mispronouncing it, but Hegel's dialectic, thesis antithesis synthesis explains this as a framework of understanding change and growth. Brittany Brown offers a similar concept called order disorder, new order. So it's the idea that life starts with a certain baseline, right?

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And then something happens to swing the pendulum to the other side and that swing feels very disorderly and chaotic. And then like the pendulum does, it then starts swinging back to the other side, which is the total opposite. So if it's swung to the right and you were loving how it felt when it swung to the right, the moment it starts to swing left, you're going to be very uncomfortable. And if you're loving the way it's manifested in the left side,

When it starts swinging back to the right hand side, you start feeling that discomfort. But everywhere in between, if you've ever seen a pendulum, it never swings wide the whole time. It kind of, does this redux. It starts swinging slower and lower and more centralized to the middle until it reaches a point of stability and that becomes its new normal. And that new normal stays like that.

until there's another swing either to the right or the left and on and on we go. So if you were to look at an analogy for all of this, it is that pendulum, nothing is static. With that framework in mind, and this episode is not to give you a full solid ground to stand on, this is just the concept that I keep seeing as I read headlines, as I read the news, as I interact with people, as I have these conversations, as I listen to people's concerns about what's going to happen.

And as I feel and empathize with their fears, with their anger, with their rage, with their pain, with their disappointment, with their annoyance, and all of it is valid. We are going through very challenging times and these changes can feel very unsettling. In the case, for example, of the LA fires, people have lost communities, stability, everything they've ever known, and

Unfortunately, that won't be the last major disaster. In Florida, we had some hurricanes last year. North Carolina got deeply affected. So we're seeing all of these collective changes. And one thing that I want to emphasize for season four as apprentices here is that we're going to be delving into the non-death related aspects of grief. So that everyday grief, that collective grief, the way grief shows up

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in our daily life, in different moments in our lives, in the life-altering changes. That's why a lot of times I say grief is a natural and normal response to loss and life-altering change because it's not always related to the death of someone or a pet. So going back to the example of the thesis, antithesis, and synthesis, the thesis is a new idea, or in our case, it's a way of life.

Antithesis is the opposing reaction, so a change, something that is completely opposite of that current status quo. And so there's tension between the two. Like you got used to living life a certain way and now there's a big change. It's like, oof, there's tension between that. And then the synthesis is the resolution where the tension gets resolved and the start to a new thesis begins. So order, disorder, new order. And this can sound so simple and nice and whatever and.

it may even make you feel hopeful, but the truth is when we're living through that tension as we are these days, as many of us are these days, the whole concept of thesis and this, this, this, could seem so abstract and it's like, cool, that sounds really nice, but I'm being affected deeply. My life is being affected deeply. My loved ones are suffering. There's so much suffering in that. And so I just want to acknowledge that

in the bigger picture from like an elevated eagle-eye view, if you will, of the landscape, things will ultimately be okay in the long run. That doesn't mean that from here to there, there won't be a lot of suffering. So I wanna acknowledge both things. Things will be okay and a lot of people are going to suffering, a lot of people are suffering. So how do we help each other? If you've been here long enough, you know, one of my favorite quotes is by a spiritual teacher Ram Dass.

We are all just walking each other home. And I wholeheartedly believe, this is my personal opinion, my personal belief, that we have the power to be someone's prayer. And I want you to let that sink in a little bit. Your loving actions can be somebody's answered prayers. Sometimes we get into this space of looking to others for answers, and that's perfectly fine, that's okay. That's literally why this podcast exists, because I want...

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to resource people and help people navigate difficult times. And also ask yourself in what way can you show up meaningfully for yourself, for your loved ones, for your community, for others, because you have a role to play in this. And that's part of what I've been thinking lately, that we all have a role to play. And the troubles of the world right now could feel so incredibly overwhelming. We might not know where to start.

What role do we play every time we see one thing falling apart? There's like 20 other things falling apart as well. And it could just be so incredibly overwhelming. And sometimes that is the whole point. It is to overwhelm your system to the point of inaction. So understanding that this is by design is a first step. A second step is understanding that we have a role to play, but we cannot do it if we are not sound of mind, body and spirit. So

More than anything, take a collective deep breath. In fact, do it right now with me. We're gonna do it together. Just take an inhale for four, exhale for eight. Do it with me, close your eyes if you can. If you're driving, just do it with your eyes open. So inhale for four.

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Exceel for eight.

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and then repeat that as many times as you need to. When you inhale and make the exhale longer, it's been scientifically proven to slow your heart rate down. And that's a helpful tool that's accessible to you at any time to just take a pause, slow down, practice mindfulness and be aware of where you are in this moment. It is so easy for us to get caught up in future scenarios. Our minds are trying to make meaning of the uncertainty.

And as they do, they try to play horrible scenarios because our minds are hardwired for negativity. It's trying to protect us. So it's trying to predict what bad things can happen so that we can prevent them. But in doing that, if you're anything like me, my mind goes a million miles an hour and it'll start playing all these scenarios that really just paralyze me. So my invitation to you is to stop.

to pause and more importantly, breathe. These solutions to very complex or health problems sometimes are so small, we miss them. And so remembering that taking care of yourself is key, we need you well. I heard somebody say, do your best and know your best is enough. Do your best and know your best is enough. Sometimes it feels like we're not doing enough. When you do your best,

with intention, with focused intention, it is all that you need to do. And depending on where you are in life, that may look different between one person and another. So for example, if you are raising very young children, let's say, and that is the phase that you are in life, perhaps the only thing you need to focus on right now is in raising those children.

instead of trying to tackle the whole world or boil the ocean kind of thing, right? Like we feel like we have to do these grandiose actions. It's about finding ways to connect with one another. It's about finding ways to connect with one another. And that can start with yourself. We live in a time and place that fosters disconnection, escapism through our phones, through the stress, through...

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drinking, you know, during happy hour or whatever. I'm not saying these things are inherently bad. I'm those, the repeated and prolonged activity of being on your phone or focusing on happy hours as your only release or disconnecting and dissociating at the end of a day leads ultimately to disconnection from self. So what are ways they could practice mindfulness knowing that your mind is primed to want to run in the other direction, right?

And some of that is through your breath. It's so, so, so cliche. But what I want to offer to a lot of people is to actually do the things that you hear, because you can listen to everybody say the same thing. Practice yoga, move your body, get a massage, do a breathing exercise, go for a walk, all these things. Drink water. That's a huge one. I know we don't do that enough here in the States. All these things, and they sound so small and trivial, but have you done them? Have you actually done them?

So this is your friendly reminder to implement at least one of those things today. Try to nourish your body today. Make better decisions. If you were going to have a beer after, let's say, a meal, try having water. That's just one example. So do the one that resonates with you. Connect with yourself. This may also include a spiritual practice. What do you spiritually believe? That's not to mean religion unless religion serves you. Just...

connect with something higher than yourself with a bigger belief, whatever that looks like for you. Then connect with others, connect with community, connect with your family. And that could be complicated for a lot of people, especially who have experienced some strange man. But start with the one that's accessible to you. What is the lowest hanging fruit? What is the easiest connection you can make right now? Is that your spouse? Is that your friend? Is that your coworker? Is that your neighbor? To a male man, somebody at the grocery store, just

think of one person, it doesn't even have to be many, just one person that you can maybe connect with on a deeper level instead of being like, hey, who are you? And, great, how are you? And that's it. Try to make that a more meaningful encounter. Start seeing each other. Start noticing where everyone is in their life and connecting with them on a more like, hey, no, seriously, how are you? Like, how are you? And at first it might be weird because we are so out of

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practice as a society, we're so out of practice, but it's so necessary. And when people do connect in that level, you will notice the outpourings. People are eager to share their story. In fact, it's important to share our stories with each other. And I'll talk about that in a second, what that looks like, but share your story, share your story with somebody else and try to connect a little bit deeper. Invite your neighbor to lunch. I know that's weird, especially in today's world.

you would be surprised at what comes out of that. So it might seem counterintuitive, but right now it's the time to focus on connection. It's a thought that I've had for a while. We are moving from a culture of me to a culture of we. So going back to the thesis, antithesis, synthesis, the pendulum redux, the status quo has been me, me, myself, and I above all else. And that is still lingering, but

That is changing because we are realizing how interconnected we are to each other despite our differences. We are really not that different after all. And I want to highlight that because it's really easy to dismiss one another and say, F this person because they believe differently than me. Their belief in this means that they're this kind of person. And I just want to remind you people are not black and white.

This is something that I've had to tell myself because I've fallen into the trap of judging people as you took this action, therefore you're this kind of person. And while actions do speak very loudly, a single action does not define a person. So I hope you're picking up what I'm saying here. It's about keeping the main thing the main thing, and that is connection. And what are the ways that we find commonality? That's so hard today. I know.

It is so difficult. It can be so difficult today. And also it could be the door, an invitation to lunch or doing something that's a little bit unusual with the intention to connect from a heart center space can make all the difference in breaking down barriers. And this repeated over hundreds of thousands, millions of people is going to create change. might not seem like your one grain of sand is going to create a mountain.

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But without your grain of sand, the mountain doesn't grow. So if I don't put my grain of sand and you don't put your grain of sand and people start thinking that their grain of sand doesn't matter, we don't have the cumulative power to create change. It's like that movie, what was that Disney movie? The one with the ants, I'm forgetting it right now. But was it an ant story? It's basically the power in the collective, the power of the many.

And we need to tap into that energy to show up meaningfully for each other in 2025. This is so key. If you're not in a place of giving, maybe you are in deep grief, you're in your early grief, your job right now is to tend to yourself. That's okay. You don't need to be looking at the news all the time to be informed. In fact, you may be misinformed. You will find out what's happening. And if you feel like you need to be

attuned to the latest happenings, that's fine. But when you notice that affecting the way that you breathe, the tension in your body, your ability to sleep fully, your wellbeing, your mental health, when that starts happening, it is the time and a signal to turn it off. You need to take a break and you need to tend to yourself.

Also, I just had a conversation with Lisa Keefe, she is incredible. She's the author of Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. It's the book and the podcast. And we just had a conversation about learning to accept help. So if you're not in a place of giving, give the gift of allowing somebody to show up for you. Learn to accept help. Be clear about your needs. Clarity is kindness.

So if you're not in a place of giving, be very clear with others about what you need. It is a good thing and an opportunity to allow somebody else to show up for you. Okay? I hope this is making sense and resonating. So connection from self, connection to community and connection to the collective. Okay? It is very easy to dismiss each other based on where we live and our lived experiences.

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but we need to start looking at each other from a place of I don't live your life, therefore I don't get to dictate how you feel, okay? Let me say that again. We have to start looking at each other from a place of I don't live your life, therefore I don't get to dictate how you feel. So what does this mean? I live in a city, for example. I live in Miami.

It's not the biggest city, but it's a pretty decently sized city, a lot of people, very international. And what I see in my daily life is through the lens of somebody who lives in Miami, right? So whenever I see different people, I may see a more diverse crowd, if you will, than perhaps somebody in a rural town in Montana, let's say. I don't know why I picked Montana.

Actually, I've seen some beautiful pictures of Montana. I would love to go there. I love the mountains. I love nature. And I've seen some gorgeous pictures. Montana, Wyoming, Delaware, wherever you live, right? So the life you live in a remote town in suburbia or in a city is a lens through which you see the world. And they are very different lenses. And we have to develop the ability

and the understanding that our lens does not get to dictate the collective lens. Our lens is one lens through which we can see the world, and there are as many lenses as there are people. So opening ourselves up to the reality that we live very different lives, depending on location, income, race, religion, all the things, depending on who we are as people, our lived experiences, our biases, what we've been taught.

what we have not healed, the parts that we have healed, et cetera, et All of that shapes how we see the world and how we see the world is very different for everybody. So a little compassion, a little empathy goes a very long way. And my invitation to you is there are other ways of viewing the world and all of them are right, okay? They may be flawed, but all of them are right, including yours.

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Showing up meaningfully, it's about caring for yourself, connecting with community, and developing a sense of curiosity and understanding and empathy for the collective. We don't all have the answer. None of us own the full truth of anything. My answers to a solution are different perhaps than your answers to the solution, and vice versa. And we can both learn from each other. We're better off because we learn from each other.

And this sounds very kumbaya. I hope so. I freaking hope so. Lord knows we need more of that energy. There's nothing wrong with that energy. And my goal is to get you to open the door a little bit to your mind, your heart, and your spirit for connecting with each other, for moving from the mindset of me to we. That's a gradual process. We're not always going to get it right. But let's keep our humanity. Let's hone in on our humanity, on the things that we do have in common.

and whatever behaviors are causing pain, if somebody tells you I'm in pain, don't invalidate that. Honor that. That person is telling you, this is what I'm feeling. Honor that. Make space for that, even if you can't personally relate to it. Honor their experience. I do this all the time in my practice with my one-on-ones and people have some experiences that I cannot relate to simply because I have not lived their life. But you know what I can relate to? Their humanity.

and they can relate to the fact that they are in pain. And I know what that's like because I've been there, not in their same situation, but in a place where I've needed support, where I have felt lost, where I feel pain, and that's enough to get me to see them in their fullness. And sometimes I would argue more often than not, our job is to remove our own bias.

to cleanse ourselves of the judgments that we have learned from others, the judgment we impose on ourselves, and just release the shoulds. Release the life should be this way or life shouldn't be this way or I should have done this or I shouldn't have done that. The shoulds are so incredibly damaging, so incredibly damaging and they are not factual. They are beliefs based on probably

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previous experience or something that's been repeated in your life. For example, I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be crying about this. Things shouldn't be this way. That's not factual. None of that is factual. That's a belief that for one reason or another has taken a hold in your life. So reeling the conversation back in to the thesis, antithesis, synthesis, we are in a process of change.

always, just because that's the nature of life, but what I mean right now, it's one of those marked changes. It feels like a 9-11 change, like a 2020 change kind of thing, where there was a clear before and after in our lives. 2025 is marking a clear before and after in the collective. Finding ways to show up meaningfully for ourselves, each other, and the collective is really, really important and it's going to be key. We all have a role to play.

you have a role to play and learning what that is, whether it's big, whether it's small and hit, hit, it's probably going to be smaller than you think is really, really important. Tend to yourself, tend to your heart, lean into community, understand the bigger picture in terms of how the pendulum is swinging. It is going to go back and forth. Nothing is static. Life is dynamic. Lean on each other.

But in order to do that from a hard center space, we have to understand that just because somebody is different from us doesn't mean that they're wrong. We can all learn from each other. There's wisdom to be received from each other. And if something is activating or triggering within you, dig into that. Try to understand why you're feeling that way. There's a nugget of wisdom there for you to learn as well. And so some skills and tools with which to do that.

is something that I'm going to talk in future episodes, but to give you something today that you can take away, find pockets of joy. Those pockets of joy are not just arbitrary, they are necessary. And joy carries you through the hard times. Joy fuels courage. Joy is food for the soul and it is absolutely a key ingredient for moving forward with the sense of agency empowered in our own lives.

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So find joy and one example of that, if you follow me on social media, you know that I was recently on a billboard, my face on a billboard in Times Square. That was so cool. But even cooler than that, it was because it was part of the Global Resilience Project's latest book publication, Resilient AF, volume two, Stories of Resilience. It's an anthology. It's a compilation of stories from people all over the world who are sharing their moments of resilience.

hardships they had to go through and how they have emerged on the other side or a better term would be how they move forward from that, how they carry their grief or loss or life altering change and move through that from a place of empowerment and in sharing those stories which are completely different from each other, you get this sense of gosh, everybody has something that they're carrying.

And when we validate each other's stories, when we share our stories, it empowers others to do the same. We cannot connect with ourselves fully if we don't validate our own experience and everything that has come out of that. So you will find more people very eager to downplay what you've gone through to change the subject because it makes them uncomfortable or they don't care, whatever the reason may be. And that...

is somehow internalized by us. We internalize this need to just keep it moving, move on, don't talk about it. I would argue this is the time to talk about it. We are in the time and place where our stories, sharing our stories matters and it matters a lot. That unlocks a solution for somebody else, that unlocks a way forward for other people in ways you will never imagine and in ways you may not ever learn about. And yet, you sharing your story, you sharing the real

lived experience of loss, of change, of a diagnosis, of whatever, is the literal medicine that somebody else needs. It's the literal light that somebody needs to illuminate the path forward. To give you a visual, we launched the book on January 25th. About 100 of us flew to New York City and we got to see our faces in Times Square. It was a really cool experience, but what was even more powerful was meeting so many of these griefy people.

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in person, these people that we've incredible bonds with over the internet. We all met on social media, super randomly. And this is the first time we got to meet and hug each other in person. It was absolutely magical to have that exchange, to have these conversations, to know that our stories of loss, had our people not passed or had we not gone through these hardships, we would have never met. And that's a really complicated and bittersweet reality.

because we want our people back, but that's not an option. And so we've managed to create this beautiful space of sharing our stories. And through our shared stories, we found each other, we help empower other people. You are listening to me because I'm sharing my story because of people who share their stories. And it is fueling people's souls and it is the light they need to move forward.

We launched this project January 25th. You could check the show notes if you'd like to get a copy of the book or the ebook. It's available in both. And more importantly, it reaffirmed and validated once again that we're all in this together, that we really are not alone. We may be alone in elements of our grief, but we're not the only people that have lost somebody or suffered or gone through this. So lean into community, lean in on these stories, on these podcasts, seek out the helpers.

Seek out the people speaking about this openly, creating spaces for these dialogues and conversations to take place. Seek them out. We are here. There's many of us. And if you're going through a hard time, you don't know where to start. You need to just feel a little less alone. Lean in, please, for yourself. Again, to reconnect with self, each other, and the collective. I'll leave it here for now because I could go on and on, but this is a good start to open up this season.

meeting the reality of where we are right now in the, at least the collective in the United States. Although I bet that if you're listening from outside of the United States, you could resonate with a lot of what I've said because a lot of this is a universal human experience. Grief, suffering, loss, joy are parts of the collective human experience. And so my invitation to you is to lean into joy, into these beautiful moments that feed you. Like for example, sharing and meeting everybody in New York City.

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sharing our stories in the book, creating this collective community, that is part of my joy now. This is how I get to love my brothers, this is how I get to be a sister, this is how I get to help other people and discover new aspects of my own story. It's where I find meaning in my own life. It's where, dare I say, that everybody that I met there has found meaning in their life. And so if you're struggling with that, if you're going through a hard time, if you're confused, remember, start small. Start with what's immediate to you.

and really, really focus on the joy. The joy will show you the way. It's so counterintuitive because you're thinking, problems, got to fix them. Tap into your joy. Your joy will show you the way. That's my invitation for you today. If you'd to see any of what I just talked about, I'll link it in the show notes. Follow me on social media at griefandlight. If you got any value from this episode, I invite you to subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. I do have the YouTube channel, so you can also see the video.

and we could connect a little bit more personally there. me a five-star rating. This definitely helps the show grow. It helps me get to the people that need these messages when they need these messages. So thank you so much. I have some amazing guests lined up for this season. You'll get to meet some of them starting next week. And I cannot wait to share these stories and the collective wisdom from so many people doing this grief work.

and sharing and speaking authentically. So follow your joy, share your story, identify meaningful ways to show up in 2025. Tune back into the Grief and Light podcast because we will be talking about this throughout the season. And remember, we are in this together. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you. That's it for today's episode. Be sure to subscribe to the Grief and Light podcast. I'd also love to connect with you and hear your thoughts and your stories.

Feel free to share them with me via my Instagram page at griefandlight. Or you can also visit griefandlight.com for more information and updates. Thank you so much for being here, for being you, and always remember, you are not alone.


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Nina Rodriguez

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