Aiden (00:00):
If you knew me two years ago, you wouldn't even see the guy you're seeing now. I'm so different every year. I feel thankful. That's really important, and I tell everybody, you get out of your journey what you put in.
Host (00:21):
Gay in America is an oral history podcast sharing experiences of gay people from all orientations, backgrounds, and ages in America. Our goal is to inspire each other to live our best gay lives and help us all understand that our shared experiences unite us as a community.
Television News Anchor (00:47):
It's being called a landmark win for transgender rights. Today, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled that the state's Medicaid program may not discriminate against gender reassignment surgery.
Host (00:59):
Today's guest on the podcast stood up to Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds and won a state Supreme Court case giving transgender people on Medicaid the right to receive gender affirming care. But he hasn't stopped there. This man is making positive changes everywhere he goes. You'll want to stick around to the end of this episode. Since we recorded this interview, some even bigger news has emerged that could make gender affirming surgery available to even more people in the United States. Aiden also has some big personal news to share.
Aiden (01:40):
My name is Aiden Vasquez. I live in North Central Iowa and I'm 55 years old. Started my transition at age 48, so February 16th, 2024. I'll be eight years on hormone replacement therapy. My orientation is straight, and I am known as he him. I had had a consult scheduled in Madison, Wisconsin because here in Iowa, they don't provide services for males. They don't have any surgeons that are able to do that. So I had a consult in March of 2019, and around that time, governor Kim Reynolds reversed the law so that it was no longer covered by Medicaid, and I hadn't heard of that until the doctor's office called me and they said, we have to cancel your consult. When I heard that it about broke me, I wrote a very dark poem that day and was thinking, said myself, what can I do? I felt like I had to fight for my life, which I did.
(02:51):
So I wrote the ACLU of Iowa and told them my story, told them what happened, told them how long I've been waiting. I've known since I two years old. So I told them I've been waiting all my life for this. They contacted me, I think maybe a week or two later, and when they contacted me, it was about a two to three month ruling process of just interviewing and on the phone interviews in person. It is a lot of discussion because they made me aware that by doing this, I was going to put myself out there for the entire world to see that by filing this lawsuit against the state of Iowa, DHS and Kim Reynolds, that we were going to basically expose me everything that I am and everything that I stand for, it was going to be exposed to the world. And they said, are you sure you want to do this? I leave you with that for a while and check back with you. And I said, you don't have to check back with me. I want to do this. I'm fighting for my life. So I started this. We filed the lawsuit on May 29th, 2019 in Des Moines, Iowa, Polk County. Once we filed that lawsuit, I guess I felt a little bit better because I knew that I was going to be fighting for myself. It turned into not just a fight for myself, but a fight for everyone in Iowa that's on Medicaid, that's transgender.
(04:09):
I took on this fight knowing that my life would be exposed to the world, but it was worth it for me because I was fighting for my life and those of others in Iowa that are suffering because I know what it's like to suffer, did it for 48 years. So that was why I started this, and that's why I didn't quit the entire time. We got denied several times. November of 2022, we won District Board of Iowa. At that time, the state of Iowa of course, appealed because every time we would win, they would appeal. When they would win, we would appeal. And when they appealed this time, I asked my attorneys, what's the next step? And she said, Supreme Court of Iowa. Okay, what's after that? If we don't win, there isn't anything left. That's all we can do. So I did a lot of praying about that, and we did file our appeal, our answer to their appeal, I should say. And in May, May, 2023, May 12th, we won.
Television News Anchor (05:13):
Iowa. Judge is calling part of the state's Medicaid policy, a civil rights violation. The district court ruled the language of Iowa's administrative code, violates the Iowa Civil Rights Act and the Iowa Constitution.
Aiden (05:31):
It started out as a transgender medical and transgender healthcare case that turned into a violation of our civil rights. So they basically stated that it's against the civil rights of us to take away the healthcare that's provided by Medicaid. So they said it was no longer a law that they would be able to block that. And to this day, now, because of that lawsuit win in May, Iowa City for transgender women is backed up two years, and for guys to get top surgery, they're backed up two years because we won. Because myself and one other person, a transgender woman, had the guts to put our lives on the line and our lives out for the whole public to see, and we stuck with it.
Host (06:14):
They stuck with it, but it did have a lot of associated costs.
Aiden (06:19):
I'll be honest with you. It ruined relationships. It caused a lot of turmoil in my life. It took me down mentally and emotionally, and I kept being told, you, stop. You don't owe them anything, anything. I couldn't stop the fight. I just knew that once I started this, I had to finish it. So when we finished, it came full circle that now people are getting their surgeries.
Host (06:46):
The Supreme Court, when restarted Aiden's journey towards surgery as well,
Aiden (06:50):
I have a consult in Madison on December 4th. The good thing for me was that it gave us the ability to have the necessary healthcare. The good thing for everybody else in Iowa is that they got to proceed with their surgeries because everybody was put on hold, not just me. So there wasn't just one life or two life affected. It was many, many lives affected, and some of the people that have had surgery have actually messaged me and said, thank you. You gave me my life back. So that's everything to me. Even though it's bittersweet that I haven't had my consult yet or my surgery knowing that somebody else did and got that feeling of wholeness, it's really very satisfying. It made me realize that those four years that I suffered and sacrificed were worth it.
Host (07:37):
This wasn't a superficial win for transgender healthcare.
Aiden (07:40):
Instead of just making it about winning for transgender healthcare for Medicaid patients, it was more about this is a violation of our civil rights. We're just like anybody else. We got the ruling that we really wanted so that now she can't just appeal or reverse it like she did four years ago. Now she has to actually create a whole new wall. So that's one thing that to me, made it worth it. I think that was a huge success that we got it worded to the point where, yeah, you can't change this now. You can't reverse it like you did to the other two women that won this time. You have to make a whole new law.
Host (08:15):
While fighting for transgender rights in the courts, a tragedy pushed Aiden to also begin laying the groundwork for a nonprofit foundation.
Aiden (08:23):
Well, I did create the foundation, and that was actually created from my Facebook group. I had at the time, two support groups that I ran. One was about 18,000 members. The other one is about 2,800 members. I closed the large one because we had a lot of people infiltrating it, negativity. It was just not a good, it was not a place. So I just have the one, and it was about almost three years ago, I had a mom that I had been mentoring for, I don't know, I want to say three or four years. She lived in Canada and her son would not allow her or her husband to support him in this transition, and she would often message me in tears and spent many nights talking to her, and the foundation had been on my heart, but I just didn't really feel it yet. One day I was contacted and told that she had committed suicide, and I said that really, really, really badly because she had been talking to one of my best friends for a couple of weeks and didn't understand why she didn't reach out to me. I had always been the one that brought her out of her darkness. She ended up in ICU, and when she was in ICU, she decided that she did want to live, and unfortunately, whatever she had done, it caused too much damage and she passed.
(09:54):
And that day that I found out she passed, I knew that in her honor I needed to start a foundation to raise money, and for anyone in the group or anyone in the community that knew, someone in the group could come to me and say, Hey, I need some help with a binder, or I need some shapewear, or I need clothes, or I don't have any food. Or we've had homeless families that we needed to put up in a hotel for a couple nights, and so we just started raising money. We did a raffle. We do fundraisers. I asked my group, donate some prizes. Let's make Christmas happen for as many needy kids as we can from the families in our group. We have so many people in the group that are really needy, and it's so amazing that we can do this. So going to actually, we've got about 17 to 18 raffle prizes that we're going to start a raffle here soon, and we put money that's raised. I'm going to search out, see who needs help, and we're going to make Christmas happen for as many kids in that family as we can.
Host (10:57):
Although Aiden hasn't yet established the formal 5 0 1 3 yet, the growing online community is already having a positive impact on real people's lives.
Aiden (11:12):
I don't have a support group. I have a family. It's a Facebook family. For almost three years we've been doing this, and I mean it's for some, because we're providing things that help people present more comfortably. Like I said, we provided shelter when they didn't have any. We've given food carbs because they lost all their food. It's just anything that's needed. They only have to come to me and I talk to them. I vet them to make sure it's legit, and then we send them whatever they need. We have a dollar amount that we go by. We're not a huge foundation. I don't have thousands and thousands of dollars, but we try to do, do donate. We've donated twice to the ACLU of Iowa in my honor. We've donated to the national ACLU, we donated to HRC, so it's not just people that we're helping in the group.
(12:01):
We also donate to some things that are very important in our community. That's how it started, and it's just still going, and it just amazes me because it's only member, member-based donations, and the people that donate sometimes just blow my mind with the amount of money that they give, but their hearts are just so, it's beautiful. It's just amazing what we've done, and honestly, I'm shocked that it's still going, but it's awesome. What I would like to see us do is register as a 5 0 1 so that we can actually start to grow, because my dream is to be able to provide at least one surgery to one person every year. That's what my dream is, and I'm not going to stop until we accomplish that.
Host (12:58):
Aiden is doing really well today, but he admitted it was a painful journey to get here.
Aiden (13:04):
I grew up in Moline, Illinois, went to Moen High School, moved to Davenport about Davenport, Iowa. I moved to about, I want to say almost 28 years ago. I knew when I was two that I was a boy beyond a shadow of doubt. I knew. Don't ask me how, I don't know. I just knew. So my mom of course, and everybody, all my therapist, oh, that's a tomboy. It's just a phase. It wasn't a phase, but I grew up, I played softball. That was my love. I was a jock. I played sports, but softball was my thing. And of course in softball, and I don't want to stereotype this, but there's a lot of women that are gay that play softball, and when I was 15, I was tired of telling people I'm a boy, and therapists would laugh. My mom would laugh. They'd talk down to me.
(13:53):
They would just be very demeaning about what I felt, and she claims that she asked my therapist and they said, oh, it's just a faith. I don't feel that she did. I don't think she did anything to take me seriously just based on what I remember. So when I was 15, I was like, I'm not going to be able to get away from this. I'm just going to have to be gay, which I knew I wasn't gay, but since I played softball, it kind of opened up a whole new world. I met other people that felt the same way I did as at least being attracted to the same sex at that point. So that kind of helped a little bit, and I just started dating women when I was 15, and that just kind of took off from there. My mom would tolerate my friends, but the whole time I lived my life that way, I knew that was not who I was.
(14:43):
I knew I had this huge calling on my life, didn't know what it was, didn't really know what I was supposed to do with it, and honestly, I didn't even have a clue what transgender meant. I just knew I was a guy. Honestly, my misconception of transgender, and I feel terrible that I even thought this, but back then when I was growing up, I didn't know what it meant and what I thought it was was the guys that put dresses on and walked down the streets. I didn't know. I thought I was broken. I looked at myself like a freak. That's what I always thought. When I turned 17 until the time I was 32, I drank every single day because I was trying to cover up all the pain that I had inside. I was very, very bad about self-harm. I have so many scars from cutting from attempts on suicide.
(15:34):
I tried to take my life. I can't even tell you how many times, and there were so many times that I was like, why are you letting me live? God, I don't want to be here anymore because I don't want to feel this anymore. Not necessarily did I want to die. I just didn't want the pain. I wanted the pain to stop alcohol, didn't do it. Pills didn't do it. Trying to kill myself, didn't do it. Cutting on myself, didn't do it. I wasn't living. I was existing miserably for 48 years, and I truly did not know who I was until I started to transition. I will be honest with you, when I took my first shot, I said, okay, God, I've always believed in you. I was saved when I was nine years old, and I really truly believe that it is my job and responsibility to take the love of God to the transgender community.
(16:27):
I don't shove it down anyone's throat. I make very clear that I am very spiritual. I don't claim any denomination because structured religion to me does not exist because I don't like when people stand behind the word and spew hate and judgment because that's not what God is about. He's created all of us the way we are. I believe he created me to be transgender and suffer for 48 years so that I could do what I'm doing right now, and that's changing and saving lives. That's what I knew my calling was, and that's what I do. That's what I do with my foundation. That's what I do. When I mentor people. I'm on my phone all day, all night, sometimes talking to parents, talking to other transgender people, talking to their grandparents, their spouses, whatever. I just knew that when I started transitioning that I was going to change who I was inside.
(17:19):
It was so easy. When I started to see the changes happen in me, I started to realize that this is the guy. This is who I was always supposed to be, and so many things started coming so easy. I would've never been able to sit here and talk to you when I was a female. There's no way when I was in the wrong house that I would've ever been able to sit here and talk to you. I would've never sat down and wrote every PFLAG chapter in the United States. I would not be doing Zoom, PFLAG speaking engagements. I would not be doing any of that. I was ashamed, but I'm not ashamed anymore because this is who I was always supposed to be, and honestly, God gave me my voice because I really was not a public speaker at all, and that's what I do now.
(18:04):
I mean, I've had people ask me, are you a counselor? No. Are you a public speaker? I didn't think I was, but I guess you should be a motivational speaker. No, I don't think so. I think what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing. I just think that the lawsuit was just one step that elevated me to a platform on where I could have some exposure. It started before that with my top surgery. The doctor that I had for my hormones at the time was contacted by the Des Moines Register, and they asked them, do you have a patient that's about to have top surgery? And she said, yes, Aiden. Aiden Vaskin. They contacted me. The Des Moines Register did a whole piece on my entire journey through the top surgery. They went to my doctors with me. They got to be there when they unveiled my chest, it was in the Des Moines Register on the front page. I was like, whoa. And that started to the platform, and then the groups kept elevating it, and it just kept changing. The lawsuit kind of elevated. It's like everything I've done has just kind of been in succession. It's just put me on a higher level to reach more people
Host (19:15):
After going through this legal battle, devoting his life to helping others while also managing his own medical needs. I wondered what it means for Aiden to be gay in America.
Aiden (19:27):
I don't consider myself a trans man. I consider myself a man, but because we have so much hate and judgment, we have to have our own little community, which there's actually safety and comfort in that in a way, and to me, I think it's actually a privilege to be part of that community because there's so many amazing people in that community, and that's one thing that I love also about being who I am, is that I get to meet some amazing people. I've met the best people in my life on Facebook through my community of people in my group, the people that I've met, I've met some of them in person, so that's the best part of the LGBT community is the strength and the love that we have for each other. That's why whenever I see anybody in our community slandering another person in our community, it's like, Hey, we're on the same team. We don't need to do that. We have to stick together because there's power in numbers and we have a voice, and I try to make everybody know that your voice is just as important as mine together. If we keep our voices strong, we can make a difference. We can change the way society looks at us, but we have to be positive about it.
Host (20:58):
Since this interview was recorded, some exciting things have happened. I'll let Aiden tell you all about it.
Aiden (21:05):
I don't know if you've heard of the organization Transparent. I decided that I wanted to open one in Iowa. There's only 10 of them in the entire United States, so I put the application in, and a friend of mine who is associated with the one I did, she put out a good word to the president for me, and I had literally filled the application out. She's like, it'll probably take a few weeks for them to get back to you. Yeah, it was the next week. I heard from them, and then I have a friend in Oregon who's going to open a chapter that I'm going to co-facilitate with her. My goal is to, once I get mine up and running and I know what I'm doing and it's functioning, I'm going to my group and I'm going to say, here's what I'm doing. Who wants to open a chapter in your state?
(21:49):
My goal is to get one in every state. So that's one awesome thing that's going on. Here comes the best one. Several months ago, I consulted with Dr. Nick Esmond. He's in Portland, Oregon with Legacy Health. I've consulted with them twice. Originally it was a Zoom and then it was in person for FOP plasty, and then I went to see him on October 18th for meth plasty. I'm going to do that instead. I'm not going to do FOP Platy. So they have a team that's been working for months to contract with Iowa Medicaid, Iowa Medicaid, asked for a quote. We're on schedule for surgery February 15th, which is one day before my eighth anniversary on hormones. They call me Mr. Iowa man in their office because I'm the only person they've done this with, and they have an attorney on standby on their team in case Amerigroup tries to get out of it. When they called me last Tuesday and they said, what would you like February 15th or February something, I said the 15th. That's the day before my eighth anniversary. That can be a more perfect day. He wants to do this for everybody across the world. That just gave me goosebumps because I'm like, I'm the first, but I'm not going to be the last.
Host (23:09):
This podcast is produced by me at Open Roads Media, LLC, and features new episodes each month. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share with your friends. Leaving Positive Reviews helps a lot more than you think it does, and we do love hearing from you. Tell us how this podcast has impacted your life. Go to our website where you can drop us a voice message. We may include it in a future episode of Gay in America. We need your help to keep this podcast going. Click the link in the show notes to learn how you can support this podcast. Your direct support helps us inspire and support more listeners. Thank you so much for listening to the Gay In America Podcast and keep coming back from more inspiring stories about being gay in America.