From Inner Critic to Inner Ally: Enhancing Emotional Intelligence
How do the words we use shape our emotions, beliefs, and behaviors? Join Ruth Lamberti , founding coach of Adult Prep, and me as we discuss the transformative power of language on our emotional and positive intelligence. We dive into the concept of the inner critic or "Judge," explaining how this negative voice can distort our self-perceptions and affect our everyday interactions. To develop our emotional intelligence, we cultivate the key skills of self-awareness and kindness, and we learn to maintain a positive internal dialogue to enhance emotional well-being and foster healthier relationships. And when it comes to our saboteurs, we are encouraged to acknowledge them--they're here and aren't going away anytime soon--but we can befriend them, thank them for the information they provide for us, and ignore the negative messages that can derail our serenity and take us down the rabbit hole of self-loathing and despair. In short, we provide practical strategies for managing our inner critic and cultivating empathy and compassion toward ourselves.
Some other key takeaways from this episode include practicing respect for others and keeping kindness in the forefront of our minds. For example, Jami recounts how she was going to be late to a dance lesson and by making a simple phone call, her stress level diminished and her dance instructor appreciated the heads-up, all of which emphasizes the importance of clear communication and courtesy. Instead of allowing her "stickler" perfectionist take over, she accepted responsibility for being late and practiced a little self-forgiveness. After all, we are perfectly imperfectly humans! Speaking of dance, we explore the joy of dance as a powerful form of self-care! This episode is packed with actionable advice for anyone looking to improve their emotional intelligence and live a more intentional, value-based life. And it starts with the words we use—the way we talk to ourselves and the way we speak to others. Language matters.
From Inner Critic to Inner Ally: Enhancing Emotional Intelligence
How do the words we use shape our emotions, beliefs, and behaviors? Join Ruth Lamberti , founding coach of Adult Prep, and me as we discuss the transformative power of language on our emotional and positive intelligence. We dive into the concept of the inner critic or "Judge," explaining how this negative voice can distort our self-perceptions and affect our everyday interactions. To develop our emotional intelligence, we cultivate the key skills of self-awareness and kindness, and we learn to maintain a positive internal dialogue to enhance emotional well-being and foster healthier relationships. And when it comes to our saboteurs, we are encouraged to acknowledge them--they're here and aren't going away anytime soon--but we can befriend them, thank them for the information they provide for us, and ignore the negative messages that can derail our serenity and take us down the rabbit hole of self-loathing and despair. In short, we provide practical strategies for managing our inner critic and cultivating empathy and compassion toward ourselves.
Some other key takeaways from this episode include practicing respect for others and keeping kindness in the forefront of our minds. For example, Jami recounts how she was going to be late to a dance lesson and by making a simple phone call, her stress level diminished and her dance instructor appreciated the heads-up, all of which emphasizes the importance of clear communication and courtesy. Instead of allowing her "stickler" perfectionist take over, she accepted responsibility for being late and practiced a little self-forgiveness. After all, we are perfectly imperfectly humans! Speaking of dance, we explore the joy of dance as a powerful form of self-care! This episode is packed with actionable advice for anyone looking to improve their emotional intelligence and live a more intentional, value-based life. And it starts with the words we use—the way we talk to ourselves and the way we speak to others. Language matters.
Hello and welcome to the podcast Emotional Intelligence your greatest asset and key to success. I'm your host, Dr. Jami Carlacio, coming to you from the Greater New Haven, Connecticut area, as a positive intelligence, or PQ, coach. I'm committed to helping people develop both emotional intelligence and mental fitness. That is, you'll come to regard problems as situations that help you learn and grow. PQ is a way of being and doing in the world that enables you to develop and sustain a positive relationship with yourself and others-- at home, at work and everywhere in between. Please subscribe to this podcast and tap the like button so more people can enjoy the benefits of PQ. And now here's the show. Hello and welcome everybody, and thank you for joining us today. I'm very pleased to have my guest, Ruth Lamberti on today, and we are going to talk about language, and so I just want to give you a few words about Ruth. She's awesome, she's a coach and she does some work with adult prep. And so this is Ruth. She's the founding coach of Adult Prep, which is a hands-on coaching and facilitation firm with a focus on emotional well-being. Hence the reason she's on this podcast. She has a specialty certification in ADHD and executive functioning support and she created the first-of-its-kind program using evidence-based strategies to guide couples in creating their relationship blueprint for a long happy life together. I think everyone could use that. Ruth also fuels her passion for leadership and confidence development by working and volunteering with mission-driven organizations where she helps shape programs for team engagement, community building and self-focused initiatives. So to learn more about Ruth, you can go to adultprep. com and I will have her information in the show notes. So stay tuned for that, and hello and welcome.
Ruth Lamberti:
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. Pleasure.
Jami Carlacio:
Yeah, so you know, we talked about this a long time ago, about the importance of language and why it's on the podcast and why it is connected to emotional and positive intelligence. And obviously what we say to ourselves is often a big problem Because, if you're like me, I tend to go down the rabbit hole. Well, I don't anymore, because I've had a lot of positive intelligence training and I consider myself always a constant learner. But emotional intelligence is all about self awareness and it's it's about being kind, it's about, you know, really thinking about what you say to others, because what you say comes out of here and it's what you believe. And beliefs over time translate into behavior. So, whether it's workplace conflict, relationship conflict, like the stuff you deal with and help people with, all of that really matters.
Jami Carlacio:
I remember growing up, I internalized a lot of negative messages, and not only from society, but especially in my home life, and so I believed everything. And then I started believing it when it was my own voice telling me like, oh, I can't believe you just did that. You are so dumb, you are so stupid. And as we talk about a positive intelligence, that's our judge. That's our judge saying I can't believe that you just did this, and I call them ventriloquists because they sound like us but they are not us. And so I want to talk about not only that. But I don't know about where you live, Ruth, but where I live.
Jami Carlacio:
People have started putting yard signs up that say please be kind. And I almost want to put one in my rear view window of my car, because that's where people tailgate, and I would love it if people would stop tailgating. It's like dude, I can't go any faster. I'm sorry, I'm going 80. Do you want to go 90 and kill somebody, somebody? But anyway. So please be kind. And I think a lot of us forget that what we say and what comes out of our mouth can be really unkind. So that's where I wanted to start the conversation off today.
Ruth Lamberti:
Thank you, I agree, it's interesting. Everybody sort of has a different name for judge, as you call it. I sometimes use inner critic, but I also use just inner voice, because it can be telling us positive things sometimes as well, and that's, I think, really what we want to talk about today is how to lean more into that positivity right and not to give the judge or the inner critic part of yourself all the power to take all your energy and use it towards something that's not helpful for you. In fact, it's probably harmful.
Ruth Lamberti:
JamiRight, right, and the word is power. That is the operative word and words have power and there's probably a million books out there that talk about it because it is so important. But you know there are people who deal with workplace conflict. But you know there are people who deal with workplace conflict and there is.
Ruth Lamberti:
If something exists, it's because there's been a need for it, and so what I want to do is I want to talk to people about what kind of damage that can really do to us, because, as I've always said on this podcast and in general, we are all beloved children of a loving and divine creator. And if that's the case and I always also say God doesn't make junk and I want to credit that to Alice McNett Miller, who was a college friend of mine and she said that and it really stuck with me that I'm not junk and therefore any of those lies that I tell myself or that people tell me are not true.
Speaker 3:
And I love that. Alice, yeah, I might steal that too. Thank you, Alice. What's her name? Thank you, Alice.
Ruth Lamberti:
I love that. I'll have to send this to her, yeah.
Speaker 3:
Isn't it interesting, jamie, how just human nature is that we are the least compassionate with ourselves.
Speaker 3:
I feel like you would be more compassionate or a human would be more compassionate to the person tailgating them, even though you want them off your tush of your car.
Speaker 3:
Then you would be for yourself in a similar situation and I think that that is the biggest lesson I've learned throughout my time coaching right, I haven't been a coach my whole career. I switched careers midstream and that, for me, was the biggest game changer. We should have just as much compassion for ourselves as we do for a stranger, stranger on the street that you want to give a dollar to, or a granola bar if they need it, or a handshake or a hug, and we just do not take the I won't even say time. I think we don't take the energy, we don't spend the energy on ourselves, and when we talk more today about the language you can use for that, I hope that people will find it really helpful to be able to turn that compassion inward a little bit, and one of the things I've learned in my own journey of sort of self-discovery and self-awareness is about my identity.
Ruth Lamberti:
I'm not a disease, I'm not a mental illness, I'm not a job title, I'm just Jamie, and I happen to do these other things. And I was listening to Tony Robbins yesterday and he's pretty amazing and obviously he speaks to a lot of people's hearts and minds and he was saying that in his company and his wife is very powerful and very influential too. They kind of have a rule and one of them is don't gossip. And I don't know I think my mic is doing something weird, so I apologize if people can hear some feedback, but it's like if you have something to say about somebody, bring them into the room, and the other thing is calling in versus calling out. So if there is something going on, speak your truth, but you don't have to speak it unkindly. You can say, wow, that really landed on me in a way that hurt, and this is what I heard.
Ruth Lamberti:
And, yeah, maybe give people the benefit of the doubt if there really is a benefit of the doubt to be given, but otherwise try. And you know, just go back to the car thing when people are desperate to get around me. I try to get out of their way. It's like, okay, well, you really need to be somewhere or whatever, so I'm just going to get out of your way and let you go on. Or I try to let people in the lane that they need to get into, because it's no skin off my teeth to be nice.
Speaker 3:
Right, right, I love that, and you know, I always just to add to that, and we're talking a lot about cars but I always like to say to myself well, there might be an emergency right, give them the benefit of the doubt in that way as well. We'd have no idea what's going on in their brains, in their cars, in their households, and so I would rather think that they really need to get around me rather than they just are being a little bit jerky on purpose, because I can choose to think I'm never going to meet them. I can choose to think whatever, whatever I want, about the situation.
Ruth Lamberti:
Right, and one of the things I used to be I used to really be victim to or subject to road rage and I also gave that up and one of the things that I started doing was blessing people, and so I would just give them a blessing so that they would be safe and not get, you know, not get in a wreck. But what it did is it changed my feelings and it just softened everything. So just blessing people meant that I was in the mode of kindness and compassion and not in the mode of judging. And again, our judge is huge, my judge. I always think of my judges as big as the Lincoln Memorial. But I've learned to silence the judge or say recognize it, put the judge in a corner and then move to the sage.
Ruth Lamberti:
So one of them is empathy. Right, the first sage power is empathy. And going back to what you said, which is so important in terms of how we have less compassion for ourselves than we do with others, and so what I've also learned to do is look at the self at a particular age where something touched me, whether it was a pain point, when I was five or eight or 12. When I was five or eight or 12. And I give compassion to that part of me and that helps me grow, you know, just loving myself and saying, yeah, it's okay, yeah, you made a mistake, you're not dumb, you're not stupid, you just are a human being. You know, you're a spiritual being in a human body.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, I love that. I also love that you know when you talk about that you bless people. You're taking an action first and sort of hoping at least I assume when you started hoping the emotion, the feeling to follow, and you know, I think that's a really good rule to live by, especially if you are having trouble changing the thought pattern right Just with your internal monologue. That can be really hard. So take the action. Take a values based action for you. Blessing the people that are driving around you can make you know it sounds like it made a really big difference for you.
Ruth Lamberti:
It did. It made a huge difference.
Ruth Lamberti:
It just made my drive that much nicer and I also learned that if I'm in a hurry, it's probably my fault because I left too late and so leave earlier. Or call ahead and say I'm going to be a couple minutes late. Or simply, as positive intelligence teaches us, get in the moment, start breathing, noticing your fingertips, noticing the lines in the road, but quit thinking about stuff that hasn't happened yet or stuff that has happened a long time ago, because the past doesn't equal the present and the future hasn't even happened yet. So, again, using emotional intelligence, it's the self-awareness, it's being in the present, it's being mindful, being mindful.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, mindfulness, just that awareness in general, I find also super helpful, because if you're not aware of what's going on, you can't do anything about it, either externally or in your own mind. You can't do anything about it either externally or in your own mind. You can't do anything to change in a positive way if you're not aware of what's going on. So I think mindfulness is a great first step for that as well.
Ruth Lamberti:
Right, and I've talked about this before, but when you're in a situation where you have to be in groups and make a decision, a collective decision First of all, there is no such thing as an emotion-free decision. So again, being aware of the emotions, being aware of this desire to judge other people who don't think like you, and consider that some of what they have to say is good or valuable, even if not all of it they have to say is good or valuable, even if not all of it or you don't find all of it valuable.
Speaker 3:
And affirming people is so much nicer and better than cutting them down yeah, including including yourself, right? Why again I go back to it, I am a big proponent of this why give that, that piece of you, that compassion compassion to someone else and not yourself? I noticed you said you know if you're late getting somewhere, you just recognize that next time you've got to leave earlier. I didn't hear you say at this point in your life that you're beating yourself up for it because you can't go back. I mean, it'd be very cool if you could, but I'm guessing you don't have a time machine so you can't go backwards, just like we don't have a crystal ball, so we can't necessarily, um predict the future. And so why beat yourself up about something that's already happened? You're going to instead take that energy and learn from it and leave earlier next time, hopefully, so you don't feel that rush again.
Ruth Lamberti:
Yeah and um, I'm taking dance lessons and it's a half hour drive and it's up 95. So anyone on the East Coast knows that I-95 can be a real bear, and if you're on the West Coast, i-5 can be a bear too. So you know that you can never decide whether there's going to be traffic or whether there's going to be an accident or whether there's going to be road work. So I always have to take into account that it may be a half hour drive, but I don't know what's going to happen along the way.
Ruth Lamberti:
And one day I was going to be a few minutes late and I was panicking because I only have a 45 minute lesson and they have lessons one after the other, so that would cut into my time. But it also is a courtesy to the people waiting for me who say, yeah, she's coming at 315. And if I'm not there, they're wondering if I'm going to show up, because they could have given that slot to somebody else. So I called and they said oh my gosh, I'm going to be a few minutes late. And they got they. When they saw me they said Thank you so much for calling. They said thank you because we would have been wondering where you were. And now we don't have to wonder, and you're here and let's get going.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, so taking that 30 seconds to give them a heads up also sort of extended that compassion and my guess is it probably made you feel better about being late because you weren't anxious that they were going to be anxious that you weren't there yet. Yeah, late because you weren't anxious that they were going to be anxious that you weren't there yet. Yeah, exactly. Also, I love that you're taking dance lessons. Is it a particular kind of dance or a variety?
Ruth Lamberti:
Yes, I'm going to the Arthur Murray Dance Studio in Guilford, connecticut, and I've been plugging them because they support the podcast, and I've been doing tango east and west coast swing, foxtrot waltz, and I have a routine that I've been doing tango east and west coast swing, foxtrot waltz and I have a routine that I've been doing with my instructor and we're actually having it professionally video recorded and edited and unfortunately, I'm going to be doing it to a song that's under copyright, so I can't post it because it'll get taken down. But for those of you who know who Shakira is, the song is called Te Aviso, te Anuncio and it is about a woman whose boyfriend is starting to look at another woman and she's a little ticked off, and so, based on the music video, my instructor and I developed a routine, we choreographed it and we're going to be doing a video of it, probably next week, and I'm really excited because if you've ever watched professional dancers, they make it look so easy and it is so not easy.
Speaker 3:
Well, I love that for you. You just folks that are listening and not watching can't necessarily see this.
Jami Carlacio:
They might be able to hear it in your voice, but you just lit up when you talked about it, and that's.
Speaker 3:
that's the best. We should all have something like that in our lives.
Ruth Lamberti:
Yeah, and that also, I think, goes to how I talk to myself and treat myself instead of thinking oh, you know, I don't, I don't want to do it or I won't be any good at it. I said I'm going to do it because I love dancing and I'm doing it without a partner. I show up to the dance lessons and we all trade partners, so it doesn't matter if you came with somebody or came by yourself. We're all there learning and, yes, I've stepped on a few feet and a few feet have stepped on me, and actually we just laugh about it. We're like okay, next time I'm going to wear different shoes.
Speaker 3:
It's great you know self-care and I know we're not talking I don't want to go too far into that. We're not talking about it today, but this is a great example of self-care. That's not just I think a lot of people still think of self-care as getting a massage or getting your nails done lot of people still think of self-care as getting a massage or getting your nails done it's also just taking care of your needs, whatever they might be, and this brings you excitement and joy, and that's a really important part of self-care and I love that for you.
Ruth Lamberti:
Yeah, it's infectious right.
Ruth Lamberti:
It's infectious. So whatever I do to care about myself is going to bleed out. And likewise, if I'm in a morose state of mind or a negative state of mind, it shows up outside of me and it shows up in my words. It shows up in my speech and it shows up in my words. It shows up in my speech and then that puts people off right. It breaks the connection. And the thing is because we are language users. You know, language is all about making meaning. So what happens is an experience we have, but we translate it into words and into language, whether we verbalize it or not. And then that translates into how we see the world. I love Wayne Dyer and he says when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, and it isn't just what you see, but how you talk about it. And again right back to language.
Speaker 3:
What do you think, jamie, is the? There are a lot of important pieces, but if you had to narrow it down to one thing, what do you think is the most important piece of a healthy monologue, whether it be internal or external?
Ruth Lamberti:
I think, self-forgiveness. I think we are all slightly perfectionist. Maybe there's a continuum. Some of us are way on the other end, and I was certainly one of those people, and it's certainly one of somebody who has really high standards. And oftentimes I will hear perfectionists say well, I have high standards for myself, but not other people. And I'm thinking but if you've got these high standards and you hold them up here for yourself, it's a little bit of hubris because you're thinking that you need to achieve this higher level, but other people don't, because maybe they can't. And so I think for me it's self-forgiveness. It's when I make a mistake, when I say something unkind, when I have a knee-jerk reaction, the judge says you're so terrible, you said that thing. The sage says okay, so go make it right.
Ruth Lamberti:
You know, yeah, you're going to say stuff like that.
Speaker 3:
That perspective on perfectionism looking at what, the value, what? What are we missing in terms of the value piece, what drives us, what motivates us, that we are then inflating it into a demand, and it's a lot easier to demand things of ourselves than others.
Ruth Lamberti:
And the other thing I learned just along the continuum of life is that hold on, I think I just lost my thought, but it's. I have to love myself and the way I talk to myself is going to be the way I talk to other people, the way I talk to other people. So if I can show myself kindness and if I can love myself, I can love other people. And it took me a long, long time to understand that, that, that if I have this habit of judging and criticizing and, you know, evaluating negatively myself, then ultimately, whether it's verbalized or not, I'm doing that to other people and then that cuts me off. So ultimately, when I think of emotional and positive intelligence, I think of connection, and I want to be connected to people, not disconnected.
Speaker 3:
Sounds like you do that a lot through authenticity as much as possible Sounds like you do that a lot through authenticity as much as possible.
Ruth Lamberti:
Yeah, I mean yeah, and I think you know that's what people value, right? We just want to be real. And the other thing I learned is if you're trying to be a perfectionist and you use perfectionist language, people are like I don't want to be around that person because I definitely fall short. I don't want to be, I don't want to really find out.
Speaker 3:
You know that that person thinks I'm whatever are not the person next to you, you are not your manager, you are you, and it's good to have goals, but also to realize and hold healthy boundaries. And that's again, both internal and external. And you know, I agree, If someone can be authentically them, you know it's very hard and it sort of goes back to that awareness piece For me. I I feel again lots of important parts of this, you know, language piece. But if you're able to pause and choose so you have to be aware of what's going on and pause and say, instead of telling myself this or instead of telling that person this, it's a better choice, it's a more values-based choice to do this, to say this, that is so good.
Speaker 3:
And people are like go, go, go, go, go all day, every day, so overscheduled and so many things. And that affects our minds as well. Then our minds are go, go, go all day, and then a lot of people can't sleep because their head hits the pillow and their brain's going oh, you don't have anything to do, we're going to think all the things. So pausing, yeah. So I think for me, you know that extra uber important piece is the ability to pause, to be aware, so that you can make the best choice for yourself in the moment.
Ruth Lamberti:
Yeah, that's right, it's hard it is, yeah. So we're talking like it's some easy thing to do, but it is not. It takes practice and intentionality and really just showing up to life you know yes showing up. Go ahead, I. I feel like you're going to say something.
Speaker 3:
No, I was going to ask actually, do you ever? There's an exercise I don't do it as much anymore because I've been able to pull it, you know, in internally, but there's an exercise I used to do and I still recommend to certain clients that are having trouble having that conversation with themselves, which I think, as we've discussed, is important in order for you to be able to have that conversation with themselves, which I think, as we've discussed, is important in order for you to be able to have that conversation with others, to take that language external. Are there any exercises that you do or did that allow you sort of to get that distance from your judge?
Ruth Lamberti:
Yeah well, with positive intelligence we learn to intercept, and you can't intercept something you're not aware of. So the very first thing we teach in positive intelligence is who are the saboteurs? And then how do they function in your life? And there's usually a top one, and for me it was stickler, and the second one was people pleaser, and of course, the judge is just trumps everything. But what I learned is a that they exist, be that they're not me, and see, I can stop them anytime I want by moving right into the present. So we talk about the pq gym, and the pq gym is simply exercising that muscle, that sage muscle, and to do that you can just right away go into whatever sensory thing you want, whether it's touching, seeing, listening.
Ruth Lamberti:
I was doing some PQ reps this morning and I was practicing sound. So the idea is listen, whether it's the listening of the voice of the person you're speaking, with their timbre, their tone, their accent, or, for me, I was sitting in my room meditating, and so I was listening to birds chirp and I was trying to figure out. Well, which bird is that? And I wonder what they're saying to each other right now. And so that's something I do and that has helped immeasurably, identifying and then stopping them. Because, as I say, there's these two neural pathways and if we can stop them at the juncture, you don't have to go down the rabbit hole anymore. You can say I'm going to have empathy and compassion, or I'm going to explore like why am I having this feeling right now?
Ruth Lamberti:
Why am I having this reaction so? Those are some things I do.
Speaker 3:
I love that I'm learning so much from you. I do something similarly in the ways of talking yourself through it. Whatever is happening, I have a character to my inner critic, my inner voice. I mean, you're a judge and I think it's different for everybody. Mine is from the 80s movie Gremlins. You remember this movie.
Speaker 3:
So I chose the gremlin because he is this adorable alien Furby creature. Until I hope this is not a spoiler it has been 40 years, thank you. It's a good thing I look so young. No, I'm just kidding. I choose the gremlin because my hope is that if I'm compassionate with the gremlin, he can turn back into gizmo. He can turn back into his adorable you know not slimy, icky version of himself. So what I do is I put my hand out so I can actually picture him, and I put the gremlin on my hand and I talk to him.
Speaker 3:
And the first thing I always say as silly as it might sound to people, I think it's really important to thank your brain, because whatever is coming up is coming up for a reason. So I say thank you, gremlin, for trying to protect me, because that's what he's doing. Don't tell, don't, don't ask me why. My inner critic is a man, but it is. So I say thank you for trying to protect me from whatever that fear is or the uncertainty, and right now, um is not the best time for this. I'm not ignoring you, right Cause if we ignore them, they just come back stronger. What we resist persists, as they say, and so I try to be kind and compassionate with him. That's sometimes hard to do for myself, and my hope is that he'll turn into gizmo and I can pull it back in and move on to something else, and when he shows back up again, I just do the same thing and get stronger. I feel like every time at quieting him down a little bit, a little bit faster.
Ruth Lamberti:
Yes, you have described positive intelligence and emotional intelligence. You just use a few different words, but it's the same thing and I love, love, love and it is so true. I agree with you saying hello, yes, hello, and I've talked about this with Buddhist philosophy. Mara is this kind of ghosty, bad figure that tried to tempt the Buddha when he was in becoming enlightened. And Buddha said you know, buddha was busy meditating and becoming enlightened and he just said I see you, mara, I see you, that's OK, I see you and it is right, acknowledge it is there and I love that you can say thank you.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, yeah. Again, it might seem silly to some people, but I think that that just really quiets that voice for me. So it enables me you know you say your judge is not. Is not you Right? So it enables me to sort of take back over and make those informed choices that keep me happier and healthier and enable me to then use that language externally as well, as you were mentioning, and have that compassion for others and to also be honest in a kind way, as you mentioned earlier as well. It helps you to be a little clearer.
Ruth Lamberti:
Yep, yep, exactly. We are already out of time. I try to keep this podcast to a half an hour just because people are often not in the car for that long. If you're listening or if you're watching on YouTube, you're thinking, oh, I don't have an hour to do this. I'd rather watch a crime thriller at night, which I do. So I want to do. You want to leave us with a positive word or two? So do you want to leave us with a positive word or two?
Speaker 3:
Sure, yeah, I actually have something on my computer screen that I've been leaning into lately. It's not exactly an affirmation, it's just something that works. I mean, it can be just something that works for me and I'm going to read it to you, because I have a screen over here. It says you are what you do, not what you say you'll do, and so I think that's just an important reminder that the language can also our language can also be in action right, and to express that externally via an action is a very healthy way to live through and achieve your goals.
Ruth Lamberti:
Yeah, it's all about integrity. You know, do what you say you're going to do, unless it's mean, and then maybe do the opposite yeah.
Jami Carlacio:
All right can't feel a thing. You say I'm strong when I think I'm weak. That's our show.
Speaker 3:
Thank you again, ruth, thank you all for listening or watching, and we will see you at the pq gym. Thank you so much.
