(Part 2) Empowering Inclusivity with Siblings: Dr. DeShanna Reed's Advocacy Journey in Special Education

In this captivating episode of the Fast 15, join us for the second part (Check out Part #1 Here on SDESworks.com)  of our insightful conversation with Dr. DeShanna Reed, where we delve deeper into the intricacies of educational consulting and the transformative power of compassionate strategy. Dr. Reed, a renowned two-time TEDx speaker, author, and experienced educator, shares her remarkable journey and invaluable insights into special education, highlighting the importance of trust, observation, and actionable plans in fostering growth within school communities.

Show Notes:

• Introduction:
  Dr. DeShanna Reed returns for part two of our enlightening conversation, offering further wisdom on educational consulting and special education.
• Highlighting Support:
  Explore more amazing champions like Dr. Reed at SDESwork.com. For structured support and innovative solutions in special education classrooms, Functional Academics provides invaluable resources and expertise.
• Unveiling Compassionate Strategy:
  Dr. Reed shares her methodology, blending observation, engaging dialogue, and accountability to drive substantial progress in school communities.
• A Personal Journey:
  Reflecting on her own life's voyage, including adversity, military duty, and teaching, Dr. Reed emphasizes the profound influence of family dynamics on her approach to education.
• Sibling Support:
  Recognizing the monumental role siblings play in guiding children with disabilities, we acknowledge organizations like Siblings with a Mission for their invaluable support and understanding.
• Closing Thoughts:
  Our dialogue intertwines strategy with heartfelt caregiving, resonating with anyone invested in nurturing our educational landscape and family bonds. Don't miss out on more resources and support at Functional Academics, guiding educators towards impactful practices in special education classrooms.

Links:

• Learn more about Dr. DeShanna Reed and her work at www.dreedcca.com/ld
• Explore additional champions at SDESwork.com
• For structured support and innovative solutions, visit [Functional Academics](Functional Acade

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hello friends, I'm glad you're here with us to pick up part two of our conversation with Dr Deshauna Reid. If you missed last week's episode, be sure to listen to that one, as she has so many great experiences and words of wisdom to share with our champions of special education. There's so much to gain from listening to her share her voice and her perspective that we just simply couldn't keep it to just 15 minutes. Every moment with Dr Deshawna is incredibly valuable, so let's get back to it and jump right on in. So I was going to ask you what your two or three main tools in your toolbox. When you go into a school, you go into a conversation with people in a consulting role. What are those greatest tools that you use?

Speaker 2: 0:49

That's a really great question. The first thing that I do, of course, after the introductions and pleasantries is I get really silent. Okay, just watch, because you can learn a whole lot more by saying nothing than you can by attempting to fill in empty space.

Speaker 1: 1:09

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:10

So I don't say a word, I ask them to give me a tour. Well, what do you want to see first? Not my, this isn't my turf what do you want me to see? And I have them walk me around, and then I'll sit and I'll have some conversations with the administration, of course, because it's important for me to hear from them what they perceive is the actual problem. And then when they tell me what they think the actual problem is, I ask them again okay, so what's the actual problem? And usually they give me kind of a weird look. But I just told you what the actual problem is. And when I ask it in that way, then I clarify and I say so usually your first answer is what you think it is, the second one is what you know it is Exactly what's underneath the face of it, right.

Speaker 2: 1:54

Right, and then we talk about those things like in meaningful ways. So what is the actual problem that you want to solve and in what way do you think is best to solve them? And how are you going to know when you have? And then what's the plan for the continuous improvement? And you can't attack every single problem all at once. You just simply can't. And that, honestly, is what leads to a lot of systems failures. We're trying to solve too many things all at once without even identifying what the root cause is.

Speaker 2: 2:24

Oftentimes, when we actually dig way deep and actually analyze what the root cause is, it usually centers on maybe one or two main things and when you make those one or two adjustments, it will change the rest of them. Just like with plants right the right seed and the wrong soil will never sprout right, Doesn't matter what it is. It could be a perfect seed, but if you put it in the wrong soil and it doesn't have the appropriate nutrients, you're not watering it, you're not cultivating it, you're not doing any of the things that it actually needs to be successful, mainly because if I got it in the wrong soil, it's not going to grow when you take it and you do put it in the correct soil, and by that I mean you actually solve the right problem. You have the right people in place to actually help solve that problem. You've evaluated really the need for solving that particular problem and with what sense of urgency. You've determined how you're going to actually measure the success of solving that problem and then what next. That's how you actually make meaningful change.

Speaker 1: 3:24

Now we're really getting to the solutions based approach.

Speaker 2: 3:27

Okay, in the very Southern sense. Now we're cooking with grease because ultimately, if you, if you don't do those things, there's no point you could hire me and you could pay me my fee. But if you're not actually willing to do the work and get real uncomfortable and have kinds of conversations with the questions I'm going to ask, then it's not going to make any difference. You've just spent your money to do what Like that. It just doesn't, that doesn't make any sense, right, and I mean sometimes that's what I look like on the inside to do. Right, like, if you just want to hand me some money, that's fine. But I would like for you to actually utilize what it is. I'm telling you because it does work, not because I think it does, because I know it does, and the reason that I'm saying that it does is because I did it. That's why I know it works.

Speaker 2: 4:11

So the ultimate piece of that, honestly, is first the observation, then the meaningful conversations and really digging into what the root causes are and then setting an appropriate plan of action. That includes accountability, and the biggest piece with that is accountability is not punitive. Accountability simply means ownership. Okay, and not in a negative light. Who are the people who are invested Really. The ownership piece is actually investment and we also talk about reframing language. I also talk to school leaders about let's not talk about buy-in, because this isn't a used car right.

Speaker 1: 4:49

That's not what you're trying to do. You're not selling them anything.

Speaker 2: 4:51

Right? You're not selling them anything. You want their commitment. Yeah, yeah, because when you buy something, you can also return it or never use it.

Speaker 1: 4:58

Oh, that's powerful, that's really powerful.

Speaker 2: 5:02

Right. So when they're committed and they understand the why and they believe that you understand the why and that you're committed to supporting them and by them I mean teachers, I mean students, I mean families, community members when they know that you legitimately are committed just like they are, they'll run through a wall for you if you want.

Speaker 1: 5:24

Well, now you have trust, you have bridges built, you have avenues to get things done and do things together in a journey that you're taking together.

Speaker 2: 5:36

And that ultimately led to all of those culminating things too. Because we've mentioned the TED Talks before, that was the kind of thing that my parents had to do on their own. They had to cultivate that kind of community and change those mindsets from the outside as parents right and make their own meaningful community and ask those same questions of themselves and the people that they were ultimately helping move along and understand what their role needed to be as a parent of a child who is differently abled and where do you go and who do you talk to and what things needed to be done. And then also being very intentional about taking those elements and giving them to us as well, which was the premise of the first TED Talk that I did in North Carolina. It was our family story and the big three. Ultimately, I had to narrow it down to those three because there's so many. They left us with so much and I'm immensely grateful. I'm absolutely in the position that I am in now because I had them as parents.

Speaker 1: 6:36

Wow, I mean what incredibly loving, powerful, strong and persistent parents that you had.

Speaker 2: 6:44

Yeah they were yeah, yeah, yeah, both of them Okay.

Speaker 1: 6:50

I'm sorry that you've lost them, but they've left you with such great gifts and you're a living testimony to what they've poured into you and that's beautiful and I'm sure they're just so proud.

Speaker 2: 7:07

I believe so I believe I had gotten to. No, it was just before I had assumed the role as an assistant principal that my father passed and then my mother passed the year after him. But they both of all of the things that I had done in my life. I mean, I'm a veteran, I done all of the things you know imaginable for me, but the thing that they were proudest of most was that I was teacher. Awesome of all these things. I was like, seriously, all I had to do is go be a teacher, go from the beginning. I wish I had known yeah but no, honestly like that.

Speaker 2: 7:44

There were huge advocates for education, huge advocates for equity, huge advocates for inclusivity and acceptance, like they just were. And so those pieces that they gave to me, combined with the experiences I had in the classroom particularly that last one that I mentioned and the faces that I had seen on some of're supposed to be doing for their sibling, all of those experiences culminated into me ultimately telling that story and outlining those top three things that siblings need to know in the event that they're going to become caregivers and advocates Again, not a requirement for them to do so, but it is really helpful for them to know those pieces of information. And I would say, if there's a huge takeaway from that talk, or even from this one, as it pertains to empowering siblings in that way, getting informed and staying informed are the biggest takeaways. They can take it, the siblings can take it. They need to know, and treating it like a secret then makes it as though their sibling, their brother or their sister is also some secret and they aren't Not a secret.

Speaker 2: 9:07

Nope. So having them as part of the conversation as early as you feel comfortable is hugely important, and letting them know about those things that one day they're ultimately going to be responsible for, and letting them know that there are communities out there, like with me and with another organization called siblings with a mission there's. We're a bunch of siblings. Yeah, I have different people, brothers and sisters, and you know, I've they've seen the talk too and they're like, oh my gosh, it's like you were telling our story, except my parents didn't teach me any of those things Right, right, I want to tell you that's so good.

Speaker 1: 9:48

That's so good and you know I'm curious, from what you know, what you've experienced, the collection of information that can be passed from parents to siblings over time, so it's not overwhelming all at once. Is there an approach that you know of? Can you kind of tell a little about, from your perspective, what the best step into that direction?

Speaker 2: 10:09

I would suggest that when, say, your differently abled child is maybe late elementary school, okay, and they're getting ready to have that transition meeting that's supposed to happen at late elementary school, going into middle school. I think that is a perfect time, if it hasn't already happened before, to really explain to your neurotypical children what's going on. So here's what I'm doing I'm going to this meeting for your brother, for your sister, and we're going to be talking about some of their educational needs, so different supports that they need to have in place for them. They call those accommodations Right, and they're just little access points. There's little ways for them to be able to access the same things that you are learning in your class, but in a way that makes it understandable for them, right, right, right, and give them more things that gives them the opportunity to access it almost like you would be able to. So we're going to talk about those things. We're going to talk about their rights, which are the rules the school has to follow and the rules that apply to us as parents, and when we learn more about those things, we're better able to support your brother or sister in school and outside of school. So we're always going to talk about some other things that we can do at home and you can help. So bringing them in at that point is perfect.

Speaker 2: 11:33

If you have a neurotypical sibling that is older and they are farther along in school, then they're even more equipped to be able to hear more of the information about it. As dry as the procedural safeguards are, yes, read through those. If not, we'll get one of Dr Reed's videos where she breaks down the idea. Do you understand what Section 504 is, what's the difference and how? But even still having those conversations with them and being really open and honest about what happened at each of those meetings, so that they know and they understand, if ever they have to stand in the gap for you, they're not walking in blind, unsure of what to do or what's even going on.

Speaker 2: 12:17

And then, at the school level, what would be really great is when they know that they have siblings, one that is differently abled and one that is neurotypical, having opportunities for that sibling to be part of their sibling's journey instead of isolated. Oh well, we just want them to be able to have a break. What break? They go home, don't they? Yes, and they're siblings, don't they? You don't just stop being a sibling if you went to school right.

Speaker 2: 12:45

Who knows that child better than their parent and their sibling? Yes, and the sibling probably even knows them better than the parent does.

Speaker 1: 12:52

I can see that that is very true in a lot of situations that I've seen.

Speaker 2: 13:00

Right is very true in a lot of situations that I've seen, right, and so having that opportunity to bring siblings into the fold is great, especially in the school environment. Right, right, it's not a burdensome situation, and I think we make those assumptions about what neurotypical siblings can and can't handle because it's really rooted in more of a guilt. Yes, and I know that parents carry such a heavy load, such a heavy load. Most of the time it is how am I going to get through today, managing this new behavior that has emerged that I wasn't even prepared for? How am I going to get through today? How am I going to be able to connect with my spouse? Or, if we're not together, how am I still going to be able to co-parent with this person meaningfully? How am I going to be able to co-parent with this person meaningfully, like, how am I going to be able to do that just today? I don't have time to think about tomorrow.

Speaker 1: 13:41

Well, that that whole you know part of the IEP development system where you're into the transition plan and you know it's the gloss over because I cannot see past today. I can't see past just getting home and figuring out how we're going to all get to bed on time, right?

Speaker 2: 14:00

Is someone going to eat tonight or not? Yes, and is that just going to have to be okay?

Speaker 1: 14:05

But can't schools kind of help that process along? You have so much information in your IEP development process in collaboration with parents, that you can be gathering information. And what are all those keys to the differently abled sibling? What are those keys that we all know as a team that we can be passing along gradually over time in a systematic way so that nobody's overwhelmed?

Speaker 2: 14:32

Right, that's really the biggest thing is the sharing of information Huge when we're willing to do that and we're willing to bring siblings into the fold without assuming that they can't, and especially in that respect you give them the opportunity to self-advocate I can handle that, I can't handle that or I can't handle that. Yet when you give them the opportunity to speak up on behalf of whether or not they can or can't, then you know what's most appropriate to be able to roll out to them and at what time the financial pieces.

Speaker 2: 15:05

Probably not in elementary school, probably not we're really not going to be looking at a special education trust or a special needs trust. Rather, they're really not going to be doing that. They're probably not really going to be unpacking the legalities of the Americans with Disabilities Act right. So, realistically speaking, they don't necessarily need those really important pieces that they can utilize to be able to not just advocate for themselves but also on behalf of their brother or sister, because they're also going to be at school and they're going to see some of the things that maybe are off or aren't working well Before the parent ever does For sure.

Speaker 2: 15:45

So the more they know and the more that they understand, the better they're able to say hey, this is what I noticed At home. We tried this the parent can't be there all school day, but the sibling can. And the parent can't be there all school day, but the sibling can. And that's something that a school counselor or a special education coordinator who is well-trained in being able to navigate that kind of dynamic can truly activate. Even a special education teacher, who also has a lot on their plate, understands. But when you're wanting to really tap into who the student is, what works, what doesn't work, what makes them tick tap their sibling?

Speaker 1: 16:21

They know, siblings know, they know, and siblings are going to have a different sort of expectation of their differently abled sibling that other people teachers, parents don't seem to come to as easily, right? Sure, and I think empowering voices, empowering advocacy for siblings is really strong Asking. Would you like to participate, would you like to be added into the mix here and giving them voice to that? It's so powerful.

Speaker 2: 16:54

It is super powerful and I think that is an element that really should be incorporated into our IEP meetings and our 504 meetings. I feel like, if it's possible and the sibling is accessible, why can't they sit on?

Speaker 2: 17:09

They're a family member they can't sign off on any of the paperwork. But why wouldn't it be acceptable for them to know, hey, my brother or sister needs extra time or reminders to stay on task, or they need a scribe, or they need someone to modify parts of the work by whatever percentage and when it comes back, at whatever percentage? It's been modified it's going to look like this so that they can also partner with the parent in working on things that are going on at school. Maybe they're a different grade level, but they can still help interpret some of those pieces. Especially if it's an older sibling with a younger, differently abled sibling, they can interpret some of those pieces and be able to share some of the responsibility of working with their sibling instead of being isolated from that. That's so good.

Speaker 1: 17:58

Oh, Deshauna, this is such a wonderful conversation. It's so rich to talk to you. I mean, it's rare to get a chance to talk to somebody that understands the sibling's perspective, and I just am grateful to you for the time that you're spending with me. And I got to ask you one more question. Take us back to that moment where you were late in the car with the principal. Tell me at that point what advice would you give yourself when you just started considering going into education? What piece of advice would you give yourself?

Speaker 2: 18:37

That's a really good one. I've been thinking about that one.

Speaker 1: 18:40

What advice would I have given myself as as a sibling, as a brand new teacher just entering the field, what would you say to yourself?

Speaker 2: 18:50

Don't question it. Don't question it. Do what's right because it's right, not because it's comfortable. Wow, that's excellent. I mean, I did that, but I would just say, hey, put down really Do that.

Speaker 1: 19:02

Keep doing it. Yeah, wonderful. Can I take a quick picture? I'm gonna take a squash. Let's do that. So, friends, that's where our conversation with Dr Deshauna Reed comes to a close. Don't forget those encouraging words Keep doing it. Keep up the great work that you're doing for your students to reach toward higher expectations and build on their strengths. Just do it, go for it, be collaborative, be hopeful and hope-giving. Our greatest hope is that you leave inspired and that you're ready to continue to be the champions in your own classroom and with your own influence. Until next time, champions, be well and stay encouraged. We will bring you another champion in next week's episode. Make sure you've subscribed so that you don't miss out on more inspiration from champions in the field of special education. Take care, we'll talk soon.