What do you want more of? Reflections on Embracing Our Own Transformation

Transcript

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Welcome to another week of defaulting to English. I'm your host, Julie Reynolds, and I am honored to be on this journey with you and over the past couple of weeks the the last couple of episodes that I did were interviews with with end of life doulas, and we talked about advanced directives and the end of life and all of those things, and I just want to thank you for the emails and the feedback. I appreciated hearing your takeaways. And what you are going to do with that information and the many of you didn't know that there was such thing as an end of life doula. And so I'm glad that I got to introduce to you Sherry and Elena, and I hope you reach out to them. I hope you get a hold of that information and put that into action in your life. Those are important questions to ask what is important to us as we live our lives and what is important to us as individuals. We when we think of how we finish and finish, well, this week was honestly, you guys, I almost didn't do this episode because I have. Some experiences that have just really put me in a contemplative mode an incident with a patient. And then I have, we had the honor of celebrating my mom's 80th birthday yesterday and just talking, having conversations about our childhood and reflecting and just really Celebrating all of the things that are my mom and also we got into conversations about longevity and just thinking about what it is to live our lives and finish well. So I also before we went to, out to the vineyard to celebrate my mom, we had to do the hard thing of Taking our dog to the vet for the last time. And we had had an opportunity to, Sam our oldest and his girlfriend came over to the house on Thursday night and we, he got to say goodbye. And so we knew this, we had prepared for this, but honestly, going through that experience, I feel confident we made the right decision. It was time we made the right decision for him. He was with us for 17 years, and those of you who have lost a pet, you know how hard that is. And I really just didn't know what to expect of myself in this situation. And what I've noticed over since yesterday, really just being fresh is that how much space he occupied. And not only in our lives, in our home, in our time, in our thoughts, and even just going to bed last night, knowing that I don't have him to think about, and the, even just the I didn't have him, his presence to think about even while I'm sleeping, in the background. Anyway, I'm just acknowledging that, that space and it's made me very contemplative and I really wasn't sure what I wanted to show up here and really talk about here and because my thoughts aren't fully formed. And I haven't drawn any conclusions. It's just still space. But what I did do is I reflected, I took some time to reflect on some things that I have been thinking throughout the week. Winston Churchill, said men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. And I guess in light of that, I don't want to hurry off and just fill that space that Jet once occupied, or I want to really think what that meant and what that meant to our family. So, we have reminders through the day we can reflect on that, take time to navigate the grief of in that time of loss. And Really just observe, to me, the space that he took up in our lives, in our relationships, and in our home. And that also I told you I had a couple other experiences that have shaped my thoughts this week. And then I heard a term it's an aviation term, and it's controlled flight into terrain. And I thought, how sometimes we go about life and it's an aviation term that basically explains the phenomenon that happens or how it happens that a pilot would fly. Airworthy aircraft, a plane that there's nothing wrong with, would fly that plane inadvertently into some obstacle. That could be water into the side of a mountain into a obstacle. And there are a lot of reasons for that. I looked it up. There are a lot of reasons that happens and that can be poor planning, failure to plan. That can be situational awareness. Some disorientation, there are a lot of different reasons that happens. And if aviation, a whole lot more about it than I do. That's the extent of my information, but the whole phenomenon was interesting. And it made me think about how sometimes we go about personal growth or handling things that come our way without really. Looking into them and incorporating them into our lives. And we tend to give too much weight to circumstance and a whole lot less. I've said it here before is we can't always trust or believe what we think. And we do a lot of judging, judging our circumstances and what they mean. And actually yesterday, my son said we're talking about the future and how things are shaped and he said it's all made up anyway, and I don't, we didn't really go farther into that conversation, but how profound that was or how true that really is, because a lot of our circumstances really are not what we think they are. They're, we actually assign meanings. There's no good or bad anything necessarily. It's really what we make it. So I wanted to talk about three ways that we really Where the way we change there are really three levels of change and we get to choose where we want how far we want to take it and do we really want to become you know what do we want more of what do we want less of what we want to do with the life we're given to live. So first the journey begins with assessment. We encounter truth and in its raw and unfiltered form. And this is the moment of self assessment. Stumbling where the veil of ignorance is momentarily lifted and a stark reality of our situation confronts us So something is right in our face that we know Maybe it's a problem Maybe it's an obstacle of some sort it might come in the form of kind of a harsh realization or a bitter truth An unexpected revelation, but something all of a sudden occurs to you that something is wrong. And it's in this moment that, maybe we mess up something, maybe we make a mistake. Maybe we do something that we are are sorry that we did. And that's that seed of awareness is planted. And that's where that urging to really pause and contemplate that the implications of what we have just encountered. So it could be a loss. It's a failure some form of being confronted with something that is less than desirable or is off or unexpected revelation, as I said. let's put it in the the context of health. Maybe you know someone who's been living in denial of unhealthy lifestyle choices and one day faces that concerning medical diagnosis. They're forced to confront the harsh truth of their situation. So that can be in a diagnosis that can be in a, like some kind of health scare occurs. And in that moment, they are awakened to the reality of their own mortality and that urgent need for change. So that's one place that we can be and one place that we can stop. in those situations, it's really not enough to do merely acknowledge the truth. We need to dive deeper into unraveling those layers of our beliefs and our behaviors and our perceptions to really get at the underlying pattern and root causes. So we have a choice if we're going to go there. And in the case of the, that unhealthy lifestyle, that's a diagnosis that, calls for examining habits and thought patterns and emotional triggers. And that beginning to uncover the underlying factors contributing to the condition and whether it's. Maybe it's stress or a lack of self care, deeply ingrained habits, whatever that is. But that's that, that second level in, of change in action where we, all of a sudden, we know that there needs to be something that we're aware of a problem, but now we also, are having to look at what the cause is and what the change might, what change might be necessary. the quote that I shared with you by Winston Churchill, men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. And isn't that what happens a lot of times when we, run into some of those things. They're just too painful or too complicated. Or we say, that's just the way it is. Life isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. They're not perfect. That's too hard. I'll never be able to sustain it. There are a gazillion reasons why we stop there with where we get, get that awareness. We get the diagnosis. we get a little bit of assessment, and we stop short of transformation. The culmination of our journey lies in transformation, and that's that profound shift in consciousness that, that comes out of looking within and embracing a deeper truth about how life works. And it's in that place where we really get insight to truth, and that meaningful change becomes possible. That transformation is not just external, but It comes from that fundamental shift in perspective and understanding that you are the thinker. You are not the sum of your thoughts. And that in itself is something to really think about and to know that there's a lot of things that as I said, we can tend to judge circumstances as this is bad or this is good, but what about that place of just What am I making this mean? as a newfound sense of self awareness and deep understanding is embraced and that interconnectedness between the choices and wellbeing is made. And then. armed with that insight, then you can embrace a journey of self transformation. that's where we can change our habits, adopting healthier habits, where we can nurture mind and body and soul, where we can embrace that more holistic approach to life. Science these days has a lot to say about the transformative power of truth seeking. And research in psychology and neuroscience has showed us that confronting uncomfortable truths can lead to greater psychological resilience, increased self awareness, and improved decision making. Research and psychology is showing us all the time that neuroplasticity and that ability to embrace those uncomfortable truths, confront them and and build that resilience and that awareness around how we make decisions and how we pursue what we want. And we can just open ourselves up that way to new possibilities and pave that way for personal growth and fulfillment. Let's take some time. Henry David Thoreau confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. I love that quote. In fact, I have it written down. It's on my desk to remind me that I am made for more. my life's dream is to experience beyond what I can think or imagine. And the only way a lot of times our world gets clouded with uncertainty and that decision that you make to end the life of your pet is a big one and it has finality to it. Even when you're confident that it's the right thing to do, it made me think about about the finality of some of the things. But really when we pursue truth and hope, we're going to create that path to empower us to create meaningful change. And every experience that we embrace is part of that. So let's, as truth seekers and as those who want to embrace the extraordinary, live that extraordinary life, let's embrace truth in all of its forms. Whether we're dealing with hard things or whether we're dealing with issues of mortality or morbidity, when we're dealing with those hard truths of life and not allow our circumstances to define us or to rush away from them and fill those gaps and do the normal things, the ordinary things that people do. We want more than that. And that is how we unlock doors to those limitless possibilities and to find out what is really possible. What are we really capable of? So I'm going to ask you today to really explore where it is that you are filling the space that you otherwise could open up. Where are you stumbling over truth and then just hurrying off as if nothing happened and trying to ignore it? what is it that you are imagining of life? How would you define extraordinary? and what do you want more of? I'd love to hear from you. I Have a voice recorder in the notes just hit that button and share with me the answers to your questions. What are what's coming up for you right now? And then schedule a call with me. I'd love to hear from you. My discovery calls are 15 minutes. maybe there's something that you are wanting to explore further what it would take to get that transformation that you're looking for. I hope today that your decision is to advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and to aspire to live the life that you are aiming for. That you have imagined and meet with that success that of that unexpected success that which is above and beyond what you can think or even imagine as you get up every day and default to your extraordinary self.