"What Happens When You Truly Believe You Are Your Greatest Asset?"

What if you said to yourself today, "I am my greatest asset". How would that feel? Would you show up any differently? 

Embracing the belief that "I am my greatest asset" is not just about boosting self-esteem; it is about recognizing the inherent value you bring to the world. For nurses and others in high-stress professions, maintaining a strong sense of self-worth is essential for personal well-being and professional effectiveness. By practicing self-compassion, setting personal goals, and seeking positive affirmations and support, you can reinforce this truth and live a more empowered, fulfilling life. Remember, you are not a liability; you are an asset.

Have you ever made the distinction between self-worth and self-confidence? 

My inspiration for this episode: 

• TED Talk: The Inner Journey to Leadership, Leslie Stein
• Book: Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life by Jamie Kern Lima 

Transcript

0:59

Welcome to another episode of Default to Yes, Your Extraordinary Self. I'm your host, Julie Reynolds. I'm a nurse coach and an aromatherapist, and I'm passionate about seeing us all default to extraordinary, getting up every day and defaulting to extraordinary. as I'm recording this is the first day of June, and on the first day of every month, I host a book club, for those who, Want to grow personally read those personal growth books and want to unpack that with someone. There's so many books that I read That I read and I think this is gonna change my life and then I don't actually implement it And what I found was missing is really being able to take that into community talk about it Externalize it get it out there and then decide what I was gonna do with it this week We're reading worthy by Jamie Kern Lena And if you haven't Picked this book up. I highly recommend it. she dedicates her book for the 80 percent of women who don't believe they're enough, the 75 percent of female executives who deal with imposter syndrome and the 91 percent of girls and women who don't. love their bodies. For the 73 percent of men who feel inadequate and the 100 percent of men who come from a woman and likely have at least one girl or woman in their lives whom they care about. When you believe you're fundamentally not enough and unworthy as a person, it's a lie. The time to unlearn that lie has come and together let's leave no girl, no woman, no person left behind. And knowing they are worthy. I'd loved so many things about this book and I'd love for you to join the book club. If you do, I realize that we'll have already talked about the book, but you could go back and you'd get access to the recording if you'd like. But regardless, pick up this book and read it because if it doesn't help you, it's going to help someone that you know. I'm confident of that. So it's starts out by first of all, separating self worth and self confidence. And I think because I work with a lot of nurses and a lot of, a hundred percent of my clients are women and actually a hundred percent of my clients are nurses as well. So there's that. so as I'm reading this book, I run across the affirmation, I am my greatest asset. So I'm mulling this over and seeing if, do I believe that I am my greatest asset? Because a lot of times I think I treat myself as more of a liability. So I want to unpack that. I want to talk about that a little bit today, and so that we can really embrace this truth and get past whatever it is that makes us show up as more of a liability. so much of what we do relies on external validation. Do they like us? Do they hear us? Do they ask for our opinion? are we invited? Are we asked? Are we consulted? Are we listened to? Are we valued? Those, all of the messages that come at us that are those external pieces of validation, and probably more importantly, what we make it mean. inform how we decide to show up in the world, And so with all of that going on, the self, the concept of self worth has never been more critical. I think this is where it starts for us as women and as nurses. I think To get past some of that cultural garbage that we've been fed, that we are subservient, that we are servants, that we are liabilities. We are an asset to wherever we show up. We, and we, as we show up in the world, are our greatest asset. We don't have to show up as somebody else. We need to show up as truly authentically ourselves and continue to grow that and continue to nurture that, continue to love that, and to understand that we are worthy just the way we are So the affirmation that I am my greatest asset is not merely just a motivational phrase or a nice concept. It's a profound truth, and it's actually supported by research. Understanding and embracing this can lead to more fulfilling and empowered experience. It can then help us show up more of us as an asset and take risks that we wouldn't have taken before. Find joy where we wouldn't have found it before. Made change in our environment, in our world, changes that we would, that would not be made if we didn't make our contribution. There is something that you hold in your hand that only you have. You bring it specifically, only the way that you can bring it. And the world needs that. You maybe can't see it, but once you take the risk and show up that way, you will get to learn how special that really is now, especially for professionals in high stress jobs like nursing, where self-worth is frequently challenged. This becomes even more important to acknowledge and to bring to the forefront. I told you already that we're reading the book Worthy, and in that, and Jamie Kern Lena starts out by creating a distinction between self worth and self confident. I think a lot of women and a lot of nurses can say that they are self confident So the distinction is that with all the self confidence in the world, Jamie Kern Lena says that in life. You don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. You don't rise to what you believe is possible. You fall to what you believe you're worthy of. You can have all the self confidence in the world, but if you don't feel like you're worthy or you're valuable as a person, you risk all the things that you're worthy of, you risk those career goals, making the impact that you want to make, making the unique contribution that you want to make. Maybe there's something that you really, you dream of being able to contribute. Making a difference in the lives of others. All of those things that you will miss out on if you don't feel worthy of stepping forward, taking the risk, making the mistakes, putting yourself out there, getting rejected. All of those things are all part of worthiness, not necessarily self confidence. This is kind of a huge shift to make. It was for me. I've always felt like if I was self confident, that's really what I needed. I needed the confidence to step forward, the courage to step forward. But if I didn't feel worth it, Maybe I would procrastinate it. Maybe I would do it a little smaller than I thought, not take the risks. Because if I'm a liability, I'm going to play that down. But if I'm an asset, I'm playing that up. So that means anything that you want to achieve can never make it past the level your self worth holds you at. External validation is important, but what we really need to get ahold of is that self worth. so let's get into this a little bit where psychology and science and get ahold of some facts, some definitions. Self worth, first of all, is defined by psychology as the sense of one's own value. As a person, it's intrinsically linked to self esteem and self confidence. So all of these self words are related, but we want to think of the distinction being self worth is the foundation and self confidence is what you build on that foundation. according to Dr. Kristen Neff, a pioneer of self compassion research, self worth is fundamental to mental health and overall wellbeing. Her studies indicate that people with high self worth are more resilient, less prone to anxiety, depression, and generally lead happier lives, which makes sense. neuroscientific research also supports these findings. Studies have shown that individuals who maintain that high sense of self worth experience less activation of that fight or flight system, the brain's threat response system, and when facing challenges, and this means that they are just better equipped to handle stress and recover from setbacks a little more quickly. In contrast those with low self worth may experience heightened stress responses. everything is a crisis. There's a lot of drama maybe around the responses that you notice in people with maybe a low self worth that this leads to chronic stress and that a whole host of related health issues, blood pressure, diabetes, a lot of digestive issues. So there's so many things that come out of being in a state of chronic stress and where we can look is our sense of self worth. now nursing is a profession that demands immense emotional and physical stamina. Nurses are often the unsung heroes of the healthcare system, providing that critical care and support to patients. and that should not be a surprise when you hear some of the things that happen to nurses and the way nurses are treated. Just that, that just being part of a profession that has to lobby for legislation against violence in the workplace would be enough. despite their crucial role, many nurses struggle with self worth really shouldn't be so surprising. The, really the emotional beating that nurses take their high stakes, people in crisis, people in pain, looking to someone, looking to that nurse to make everything better. unrealistic expectations, unrealistic workloads. in my opinion, nurses are not paid what they're worth. Don't have the ta the seat at the table that they deserve. Don't take the seat at the table they deserve. I maybe, and maybe that's because it's a profession that started as a more a subservient role, and hasn't grown into the profession. It is with the expertise, and the skill level that is required of nurses, and the autonomy that is promised to nurses just doesn't really come through in truth. In truth, as it should cross the board, a study published in the Journal of Nursing Management found that a significant number of nurses experience feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem. And again, the emotional abuse that nurses take in the workplace from different healthcare team members, colleagues, patients, family members, it's really should be no surprise. The high pressure envi environment, coupled with a frequent lack of recognition and appreciation can be a serious issue for the nurse's sense of self worth over time. And this is why we have to be so intentional about really embracing that truth of being our greatest asset, being our own greatest asset, and being an asset to the team and in the world as we show up. The consequences of low self worth in nurses is far reaching. It can lead to burnout, reduce that job satisfaction, and even affect the quality of patient care. That is so well documented that it should be a higher value in the healthcare system than it really is. We give a nod to it. But how many nurses are actually given access to the resources that are actually helpful to them? Addressing this issue is essential, not only for the well being of nurses, but also for overall efficiency and effectiveness of the health care system. Again, we give a nod to it. It became a buzzword during, especially during COVID, when hospitals were getting grants to To fund some of these initiatives, and now that money is going away, it's becoming harder and harder to supply. the resources are sparse, and while there are people making the best of it and really doing a lot of good work in that, it's not enough. And. It's not, it's also not okay for us as individuals, as nurses, as professionals to rely on that system to provide that for us. It's time that we embrace the truth. I am my greatest asset. Can you say that out loud to yourself? Say it. I am my greatest asset. In fact, I want to challenge you right now, wherever you are, even if you're driving, I'd like you to invite you to place your hand over your heart and just say, I am my greatest asset. See how that feels, because recognizing ourselves as our most valuable asset is really crucial for personal and professional growth. I'm going to give you some three tips for embracing this truth and fostering that strong sense of self worth, because it really does feel different to show up. Believing that you are your greatest asset feels totally different than showing up as a liability. So I think that's what I see so many times and I don't think we ever would really say, I feel like I'm a liability, but we look around and we look around for that validation. We look around for someone who didn't like it when we spoke up, who doesn't like it when we do this doesn't like it when we are When we're funny, doesn't like it when we're sad, doesn't like it when we're grumpy, doesn't like it when we're cynical, all of the things that we can be. There are messages that we get and we internalize. If they don't like me this way, I will show up that way. Maybe that will help me. That all of those things are just stories we need to, if we'll, because when we embrace that, we, I when I embrace that, I am my greatest asset. I want to build on that. I want to make it better. I want to show up stronger. I want to. Add skills to that. I want to make that the best I can. When I show up with the thought, I am a liability. I play small, I feel bad. I am frustrated. I get angry. I get cynical. these are things that we have to, this is why it's so important to tell ourselves the truth, embrace it, and then work to rewire our brains to really show up in the world in a way that cooperates with our goals. All right. So first of all, practicing self compassion. I already mentioned that Dr. Krista Neff's work and that just really shows the significance of self worth. Self compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding that you would offer a friend. when you make a mistake or face a setback, instead of harsh criticism, we can try to view that situation with empathy and understanding. Give ourselves a little slack, a little break. Some room to learn, some margin of error, and Acknowledge that imperfection is part of the human experience. Now, many of you may struggle with perfectionistic tendencies. And while I want to celebrate that, because it means that you strive for excellence. And I don't believe that most perfectionists really believe that there is such thing as perfect, but I believe too, that there's a lot of this message of self worth that plays into this perfectionistic mindset that keeps us. Playing small, procrastinating maybe makes us disorganized in one place and over organized in another place and allows it and keeps us from really showing up authentically wholly ourselves. The shift in perspective can reduce feelings of that inadequacy and build that more resilient self image. So that again we show up as when I show up. I am my greatest asset. I want to build on that. I want to give myself room to make mistakes because that's where I learn. I look into, I get curious about my emotions because they are my teachers. I don't resist them. I will embrace criticism or any feedback I get in a way that makes me wanna build on my greatest asset. When I show up with a mindset that I'm a liability, all I wanna do is diminish that role that I play. So I'm gonna shrink back, step back, hold my tongue, disengage, and I'm going to be miserable. All right, so first of all, practice self. passion. Now, second of all, set and achieve personal goals. Setting personal goals and working towards them can greatly enhance that sense of self worth. Again, self worth is that foundation that we're going to build our self confidence on. There is a distinction to be made between self confident. You can be really self confident and not have the self worth to hold that up and to make it make the difference or make the impact in the world the way that you want it to. These goals don't have to be grandiose. They can be simple as improving a skill. Recently, I decided, hey, you know what? I get this social anxiety when I go out. I don't enjoy parties the way I want to. I don't sometimes make the relationships in the workplace the way I want to because I suck at small talk. I don't like it. I've told myself that I don't like it. I don't enjoy it, that it's not worth my time. But small talk is where it happens. I used to teach leaders that, or I still do, teach leaders that if you really want to make an impact, it's where, it's on the elevator that you can make a difference. So as a informal leader getting on the elevator is where the decisions happen. We can get a seat at the table. We can sit in a boardroom and we can hear all the discussions, but if we don't make that personal connection with the people around the table, if we don't get on the elevator, make the small talk, make the connections and be in that place where the pressure lets down and the decisions are made, that's where the magic happens. And so all of that, because I decided I was going to improve my skills around small talk. And so I picked up a book and then and then found out that it was free on Spotify. So, I think it's just called small talk and it's funny and engaging and it's a really good way to learn and improve my skills. So it can be as simple as learning to improve a skill like small talk. It doesn't have to be run a marathon or lose a hundred pounds or whatever those things are. Although if those are your goals, then I totally support you and I say, go for it. But set the goals, complete the project, the sense of accomplishment that comes from achieving these goals will reinforce the belief that you are capable and valuable. It, again, it builds on that, the, that sense of being an asset, celebrate your successes. I am mentoring nurses in an advancement process, and I love this process. It is work, and it can be frustrating sometimes, and we're learning, there's a learning curve to working the system, but I love that these nurses are getting a chance to really tell their stories and share their passions and the significant work that they are doing and the expertise that they are putting into it. I love that work and some of them are doing projects that I wouldn't. gravitate towards. But they do. And I think it takes, and it does take all of us, and it takes all of our voices. Again, you have something to contribute. You matter in wherever it is in the world that you're showing up. And the world needs your voice. The world needs that skill. You have something in your hand that no one else does. You have something to bring to The, your community, that unique contribution that nobody else can make. If you don't make it, it's not going to get made. If you don't bring the change is not going to happen. All right. So first of all, we're going to practice self compassion, set, achieve, set and achieve personal goals, and then seek positive affirmations and support. Surround yourself with positive affirmations and supportive people. Positive affirmations are those statements that reinforce your worth and capabilities. Affirmations can be very important, and they can feel really uncomfortable as well. You feel a little silly saying to yourself, I am capable. I am valuable. I am my greatest asset. But these are the things that we tell ourselves and we say out loud, and there are some schools of thought that say, if you use your name, that your brain will hear it and actually believe it because you're talking to yourself in the third person. So to use your name and say, you are my greatest asset, Julie, you are my greatest asset. Now that feels silly for me to say and a little crazy if someone else hears it, but that can help rewire your brain and believe these truths. And. That is where you want to get is showing up believing that you are your greatest asset. Try that. Try it now. Say to yourself, you call yourself by your first name and say, I, you are my greatest asset. So I would say, Julie, you are my greatest asset. And I would take that into my workplace and to wherever I'm showing up. How good does that feel? All right. Additionally, being around supportive friends, family, and colleagues who recognize and appreciate your contributions can also. Help support that rewiring of your brain and the way that you show up and believe those truths. I've said I Mentioned my accountability group many times on this podcast and they are a really important part of my journey It's that place where I'm showing up and I can be authentic and vulnerable. I can share my thoughts I can share when I fail. I can share when I win. And there's, there are people rooting for me. And then there are people that are accounting on me to root for them. And I love to see their progress and just that place where we can all come together, like minded, a desire to make a difference in the world and show up authentically ourselves and go on that journey and learn to be all that we are. Know that we are made for engaging in professional support groups or therapy can also provide the necessary tools. I have a coaching group that is just for nurses. And that is, I would say the one on one coaching That I have given and the coursework that they get, I would say the number one feedback that I get is the camaraderie that they have with the other people in the group, the way that they can give and take on that level of personal growth and professional and celebrating the wins and problem solving on the obstacles together in community. That reinforcement can also really maintain that positive. self image or that self worth and knowing and being reminded by others and seeing how that plays out as you show up in the world. All right. I hope that you will find the power. that it is to embrace that belief that you are your greatest asset. It's not just about boosting self esteem. It's about recognizing the inherent value you bring to the world. For nurses and other high stress professions, for moms in the home, dealing with small kids, For women with big goals and dreams on how they will make, how you will make a difference in this world, maintaining that strong sense of self worth is essential. It's essential for personal well being and professional effectiveness So by practicing self compassion, setting personal goals and seeking positive affirmations and support, you can reinforce that, rewire your brain, and then have that more empowered and fulfilling experience in life. I hope you will share this message with your friends and maybe go on this journey with them. Share this message, then get together and talk about it. What's coming up for you? I'd love to connect with you too. There's a voice recorder in the show notes, and if you'd like to let me know how you're showing up as your greatest asset, I'd love to hear it. Just hit record and share that with me. And maybe I'll even use it on the podcast to encourage other people. You have a voice in the world that matters and we'd love to hear it. All right. Until next time, remember that you are not a liability. You are an asset as you go out every day and default to yes, your extraordinary self.