Have you missed us? We’ve missed you! This episode was recorded in mid-May 2024 but not released until mid-June because of some health issues that threw a wrench in our production plans. We're happy to report that all is well and we're back in action.
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Many of us who are the first in our families to go to college might be held back by the worry that we aren’t smart enough for college. If that’s true for you, you’re in the right place! In this episode, we share our short quiz that will help put that question to rest once and for all.
We also suggest more useful questions to ask when considering college and wondering how it might fit into a life that already has a full plate of responsibilities. We conclude that when a strong work ethic and a positive attitude aren’t enough to help us reach big life goals, radical acceptance can often open our eyes to new strategies for overcoming obstacles in life.
Tune in for a blend of personal stories, practical advice, and heartfelt encouragement aimed at anyone navigating the barriers to higher education.
Thanks for listening! Connect with us via
Subscribe (for free) to Uncovered: Life Beyond on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts so you'll never miss an episode!
What topics at the intersection of education, high-demand religion, career, parenting, and emotional intelligence are of interest to you? Help us plan future episodes by taking this quick listener survey. We appreciate your input very much!
Have you missed us? We’ve missed you! This episode was recorded in mid-May 2024 but not released until mid-June because of some health issues that threw a wrench in our production plans. We're happy to report that all is well and we're back in action.
-------
Many of us who are the first in our families to go to college might be held back by the worry that we aren’t smart enough for college. If that’s true for you, you’re in the right place! In this episode, we share our short quiz that will help put that question to rest once and for all.
We also suggest more useful questions to ask when considering college and wondering how it might fit into a life that already has a full plate of responsibilities. We conclude that when a strong work ethic and a positive attitude aren’t enough to help us reach big life goals, radical acceptance can often open our eyes to new strategies for overcoming obstacles in life.
Tune in for a blend of personal stories, practical advice, and heartfelt encouragement aimed at anyone navigating the barriers to higher education.
Thanks for listening! Connect with us via
Subscribe (for free) to Uncovered: Life Beyond on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts so you'll never miss an episode!
What topics at the intersection of education, high-demand religion, career, parenting, and emotional intelligence are of interest to you? Help us plan future episodes by taking this quick listener survey. We appreciate your input very much!
This is Rebecca and this is Naomi. We're 40-something moms and first cousins who know what it's like to veer off the path assigned to us.
Speaker 2:We've juggled motherhood, marriage, college and career, as we've questioned our faith traditions while exploring new identities and ways of seeing the world.
Speaker 1:Without any maps for either of us to follow. We've had to figure things out as we go and appreciate that detours and dead ends are essential to the path.
Speaker 2:Along the way, we've uncovered a few insights we want to share with fellow travelers. We want to talk about the questions we didn't know who to ask and the options we didn't know we had.
Speaker 1:So, whether you're feeling stuck or already shaking things up, we are here to cheer you on and assure you that the best is yet to come. Welcome to Uncovered Life Beyond. Hello everyone, welcome back to Uncovered Life Beyond.
Speaker 2:This is Naomi, and this is Rebecca, so you've got a lot of stuff going on right now, don't you, naomi?
Speaker 1:I do the last couple of weeks. Well, I mentioned it, I think, on the last episode that I had been feeling great, feeling a lot of feeling overwhelmed and fatigue and all this. I finally, partially because of your encouragement, went to the doctor earlier this week and the long and short of it is that I'm going to have surgery in a couple of weeks. Shut up, so I found out. Well, I didn't find out, I knew quite some time ago. Shut up do then it can make things really uncomfortable and I guess one way to say would be that it just like ratcheted up all my perimenopausal symptoms.
Speaker 2:Gotcha gotcha. But also an odd thing that I hadn't connected to this before is it can involve weight gain too, right? Yes, yes, yes, and around the stomach area particularly.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, uh-huh. And I have a short torso, so I will never have a very defined waist, yeah, but I've been trying to well not to perpetuate diet culture, but I've been trying to lose weight because I've gained some weight over the last few years weight because I've gained some weight over the last few years and the thing is like I've gotten in shape before I know what to do and it has just. It's just been so incredibly difficult and about a year ago I thought, okay, I'm ready, I can really do this. And here I am, 20 pounds heavier a year later. So that's been really frustrating too.
Speaker 1:But I thought that's just me and my issues with emotional eating and and, yeah, another reason why I need to be in therapy and, you know, get myself fixed. So now I mean, we don't know for sure, because fibroids are hard to predict, but there's a good chance that they are contributing to my weight gain and to some other you know symptoms like nausea and other things that I've been dealing with. With that I thought, well, like, well, maybe I'm overthinking this, maybe it's just because of that, maybe it's not that big a deal, but I'm. I'll be having surgery next month and I cannot wait.
Speaker 2:I am so glad, I'm so glad you're getting this resolved and I think you know there there is the fine line of not wanting to in any way support diet culture and all that nonsense.
Speaker 1:The shaming, the body shaming.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:But at the same time, I think maybe tied to diet culture is this thing of not paying attention to your body and not listening to it. And I think somehow the more we can pay attention to our bodies and listen to what they're telling us. Having constant fatigue and having constant whatever else you're dealing with is not normal just because you're a female Right right dealing with is not normal.
Speaker 2:Just because you're a female Right, right, like, I think sometimes it's easy to be like, and well, the female body, we don't say that about the male body. Right, like what? What? Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, and maybe there's just a little bit of a yeah, a sense that if, if you're dealing with a little discomfort, well, you know, suck it up, right? Is it that big a deal?
Speaker 2:You've had periods for 30 years. You can deal with this, yeah exactly. Exactly Right, right, yeah, it's been more than 30 years for me, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, me too. That might be TMI. Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too that might be TMI.
Speaker 2:I didn't think about it that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, isn't it funny how you just kind of become accustomed?
Speaker 2:to discomfort at a certain level and you learn to you can expect it. Right, right, yeah, yeah, and push through it, push through it.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right, and instead of thinking about what it might be telling us not necessarily that it's the end of the world or that's like I worry about coming off as a hypochondriac, I worry about being that person, but you know what I don't know, though.
Speaker 1:As I say that, the more I think even those kinds of concerns are probably signals that there is something that needs to be, and maybe it's not a physical need, Because I think in our background often emotional needs are ignored and you only really get care when it's a physical need and the human brain is wired for survival and if that care we need, if we're going to get that care we need through a physical need, it will manifest. It can manifest as that In our background, but really even beyond that too, a bid for attention you know, someone's just trying to get attention is seen as some kind of moral character flaw, especially if you're female, especially yes, especially or young Kind of. The lower you are, the less power you have in the situation right, the more it's seen as a moral failing, and I think that it might be annoying, it might be inconvenient to the powers that be, but I think there's a need there of some kind that needs attention.
Speaker 2:You know, I used to be proud of the fact that I was low maintenance, right, and someone once asked me if I dare show up as high maintenance and I was like oof, and maybe one of the bravest things we can do is show up as high maintenance, and I was like oof, and maybe one of the bravest things we can do is show up as high maintenance on occasion. And my guess is, what many of us perceive as high maintenance is maybe, maybe getting a teeny tiny bit closer to what's normal and healthy, right.
Speaker 1:To what we deserve.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:Right To what we deserve. Yeah, right, right, right, yeah, what's?
Speaker 2:been going on in your world. So I took my last exam on Friday. So I am yes, I'm finally done for the semester, which feels amazing. But immediately and I don't know what's up with this the closets that have been mocking me for the past six months are paying and I am in full clean out mode, which is both it's both annoying and yet feels so dang good. So here we are here we are.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. Do you ever listen to Dana K White? A slob comes clean. No, oh, she's. She's got a podcast, a blog, a YouTube channel and a books. I have been listening to her so much. I find her so empowering when it comes to decluttering and I realized, like, what it is is like she frames things in such a way that I realized that so much of my hoarding tendencies my oh, I need to save that because, like, how much of that is driven by this sense of obligation and guilt. And she just like freeze, freeze you from that.
Speaker 2:You've talked about her before. She's a little bit like Fly Lady from years ago right, yes, yes, yes Because. I still like have Fly Lady kind of in my brain, Some of the things I learned from anyway, what happened to her? I don't know, yeah, I don't know. But every so often and this is kind of ridiculous but I see the items in my closet as potential for cash and I'm totally in that mode, right now.
Speaker 1:Oh, she talks about that, oh really. Oh, yes, she does. If you want one of her books, she reads it herself. Decluttering at the Speed of Life I listen to the audio. It's excellent accompaniment for decluttering. I guess there are some self-help materials out there that subtly or maybe not so subtly kind of use shame or as a motivator, and I just find that she does not do that. She has such a compassion approach and she just like lifts the shame and it makes it so much easier to think through. Oh wait, no, I want the space more than I want this thing.
Speaker 2:So yeah, but she addresses that too and that's fascinating. I think that's so important. So there's a certain amount of privilege and expectation or confidence of your financial status to be able to declutter and to be able to get rid of and like. When I hear and read about the whole minimalistic lifestyle, I finally understood how much privilege is in that, because it's the confidence of knowing if you need something you can go get it and you don't necessarily need to save items for it.
Speaker 1:Agreed, oh, absolutely, absolutely. And I think oftentimes that message comes with that sense of superiority, and I guess what I like about Dana White is that she doesn't. She still gets you there to that uncluttered place, but it's in a way that feels more freeing and it is privilege, and I'm glad you brought that up. It is a sense of privilege that allows me to confidently say, oh yeah, I can replace this if I need to.
Speaker 2:Right, and seeing it through that lens has made Grandma Peachy make so much more sense, right? I mean she grew up from the Depression, came from a fairly privileged family, married someone really poor. I'm sure she had all kinds of stuff and concerns that she was dealing with.
Speaker 1:Well, she came from privilege, but that was relative. I mean I think her family would have been very frugal and all that. Correct, yeah, yeah, it was relative. I mean I think her family would have been very frugal and and all that, yeah, yeah. But but, yeah, yeah, I think of the empty plastic cartons, egg cartons, jars down in the basement lining the basement walls, the the um fabric for comforts.
Speaker 2:It was remnants right from a from a local clothing factory that and you and I know that by the time she got to them they were probably moldy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or mildewy kind of stuff. And it comes from this sense of wanting to provide, wanting to prepare for the future, right, I mean it comes from this very noble place, right, but I'm finding it freeing to realize, oh, that's not my reality now.
Speaker 2:Well, and in the same ways that a few episodes ago, I think, you talked about sitting in the therapist's office and realizing that oh wait, I am safe. I am loved, I am cared for. Yes, I'm good, I'm good, yeah, yeah, yeah loved, I am cared for.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm good, I'm good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, those mental places of growth and shifts really do make a difference in how we see ourselves and the world. Right, right.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. I've been inspired by minimalist stuff for a long time, but it's kind of nice to find a path to it that is freeing instead of kind of this I don't know little bit competitive maybe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get that, I get that Self-righteous minimalist place.
Speaker 1:But anyway, I didn't mean to make this all about me and my current obsession with Dana White.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I am now like I'm cleaning out closets. I'm going to go find Dana White.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I'm on a mission.
Speaker 2:I'm definitely on a mission.
Speaker 1:That's fantastic, and isn't it a good feeling like, after you've done so much thinking and processing and so much mental work, to now do something with your hands. That's so physical. It's just yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you.
Speaker 1:So our topic for today is a question that I think a lot of us have had at one time or another, especially those of us who weren't raised in environments where the expectation was that we would go to college and it was far enough outside of our frame of reference that we didn't. We knew we weren't on the path to college, and there was often I think there's for many of us there's this question of whether or not we're smart enough for college. Does that also mean we're not capable of college? And when I think about people that I'm related to, people in my background, I don't think about the lack of intelligence there, but I think about all the folks who would have thrived in an academic setting, who are so bright and so intelligent and who would have loved the experience and would have flourished, who've never considered it, and that's who we're talking to today.
Speaker 2:Right. But I do think this is a really fair question and I do think sometimes when you have people from the Anabaptist culture who do get an education, they can come back and present themselves as maybe special and even a bit elite. Because I would have had people in my past who did get an education, who maybe came back and I would have perceived that I wasn't quite as smart as they were. So it can make you even more doubt, it can amplify that doubt.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And I've been really curious about why people do that, and I'm not sure I figured that out.
Speaker 1:I don't know and I don't know about the situations that you were dealing with. I don't know, I don't have any insight into those situations that you were dealing with. I don't know, I don't have any insight into those. I will say for myself my experience is that most of the time, I'm not sure if I'm just overly sensitive to it, but I find a lot of interest in keeping me humble. Oh really, oh yeah. Yeah, I've learned not to share my perspective on things. It's not welcome. Oh, not always right, and I'm not. There are exceptions, sure, right, and I can. You know, I can list on both hands, right, like Right. Oh yeah, I have two lists, let's put it that way.
Speaker 2:But I will err on the side of not bringing that part of me to the conversation, and I mean, this podcast is really one of the first times I'm bringing these two parts of myself together, so integrating, and you know, I think that's a really important part because, because you know, this whole humility thing is is is very much a part of our culture. But also I keep being reminded about how much we do work from our insecurities. Like if you just pause and and observe yourself or even other people, it's like, oh, we are working from our insecurities.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, all the way around, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so whether you're projecting the idea that you are now more elite, or whether it's me who's deciding that I'm just dumb, it's all wrapped up in those insecurities, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:I think that's such a good point. So true, so true.
Speaker 2:But anyway, we have a quiz put together for this. But one other thing I do think is probably fair to say is oftentimes I in the therapist's office I'm like, so let's just establish something here. Am I crazy, like am. I still connected to reality. Am I crazy? And usually the answer I get is if you're asking the question you're probably good and not to take away from the quiz. You can ask yourself, but I do think probably if you're asking the question, it's safe to assume you've got what you need.
Speaker 1:But having said that.
Speaker 2:Why don't we dive into the quiz? Okay?
Speaker 1:okay. So there's seven questions in the quiz and if you want to, as you're listening, if you want to mentally jot down, just keep track of how many yeses that you answer, then we'll give the verdict at the end of the quiz. So shall we just go back and forth? Sure, that sounds good. The first question is do you ever seek out information about a topic just because you're curious? So you have a question, you think about something, you wonder, wonder why this is this way, or wonder when did this thing get started, or when you know. And then you go to the library or online or wherever, and you seek out that information just because you want to know. If that's you, if you answer yes to that, then mark that down.
Speaker 2:And for number two, do you ever have questions that no one else seems to be interested in. So do you ask questions and people look at you like why would you even care?
Speaker 1:Number three do you find yourself wishing you had someone to discuss ideas that you've been reading about? Like you've read a book and you just want to talk with someone about it and yet nobody else. Others are like yeah, whatever, or maybe you're the only one who's read this book and you can't get anybody else to read the book.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness. So every time I take a new subject class in college, this is me. I have a group on Facebook that I'm always asking questions, and it doesn't matter what class I'm taking. It's like wait, did you guys know about this? What do you think about this? This last semester I had a philosophy class and I was throwing up questions about that. That's funny. Okay, so number four can you follow a recipe and double or triple the measurements as needed?
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 2:All of us good Ben and I women can do this. We're better at math than we thought we were.
Speaker 1:That's right, that is so true, and I can think of lots of people that will discount their abilities with math, but they have absolutely no problem with this kind of thing. Yeah, they're better than they realize. Number five can you calculate the yardage of the different fabrics needed to make a particular quilt pattern? Or we could also say, or a dress, or whatever it is? Can you calculate what it is that you're going to need for a given pattern, for a given kind of fabric, for this plan that you've made, for this project?
Speaker 2:which is also math and. Well, it's math and it's design, and it's design yeah.
Speaker 1:Critical thinking yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, number six, do you regularly write letters or journals? And you know what I think, even if it's for real or even in your head. I often write things in my head.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And there's something about writing things down that makes us slow down and think through things more carefully and concretely, in a way that thoughts flying through our brain aren't held to Right Correct. And then number seven. Do others give you a hard time for being a bookworm? Are you seen as wasting too much time reading?
Speaker 2:And that makes me sad.
Speaker 1:I know. So this just said, I know. So this just so everybody knows this is a highly researched quiz, not. But if you look at your answers and so there were seven, seven questions If you answered yes to three or fewer of these, then you're definitely smart enough. And if you answered yes to four or more, what are you waiting for? This doesn't mean that, if you answered yes to all these questions, that college is going to be easy or that you might not need a few classes to get you up to speed on a specific subject. But let's be clear you're capable.
Speaker 1:Your ability is not what's keeping you from college. There's lots of other things that might be, and we'll talk about those, but no, it's not about you and a question of your intelligence. One of those things that make a much bigger difference than our level of intelligence when it comes to succeeding in college are things like time, resources, competing responsibilities. All these things play a much larger role in whether or not we can do college than whether or not we're smart enough.
Speaker 1:An exercise I like to do with my students at the beginning of the semester is to break down all the demands on their time on the course of a given week. So if we have 168 hours a week, if they spend 15 of those hours in class, then they can expect to do two to three times that number of credit hours in hours of homework. So that brings them up to 30 to 45 hours of homework. Add in some co-curricular activities Maybe it's athletics, maybe it's a student organization, maybe it's attending speeches and lectures and co-curricular activities on campus.
Speaker 1:Sleep if you get eight hours of sleep a night which, whether we're getting eight hours of sleep a night, that's what we need. If we are going in so many directions during the day, that'll account for 56 hours Commuting, driving back and forth five or more hours a week. If you're someone who has caregiving responsibilities maybe you're a parent or you've got a family member who depends on you that will take time. Extended family is still going to want you to come to family gatherings and birthday parties and special events like that. You'll need some time for relaxation. You might be involved in your community, either in volunteering or church or anything like that, and very quickly those 168 hours have just melted away, and so time is a much larger factor in this than intelligence.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I think time is such a important consideration that we often kind of forget to think about. Well, the truth is and I kind of hate saying it because it's so cliche but the truth is, if you say yeah to one thing, if you say yes, I'll do that, you are absolutely saying no to something else. And I think it's easy for us, maybe particularly as Amish, Mennonite women and it's probably all women to assume that you can just add one more thing to the plate. You can do one more thing. Of course you can. You can juggle this. We become master jugglers and at the end of the day, I think there's certain responsibilities we all have that we consider really important. And it's easy to romanticize the idea that we can do this, and I think the question we forget to ask is at what expense?
Speaker 1:Right, Because, like you say, as cliche as it might be saying yes to something, I think it's easy to evaluate something on the basis of is this a good thing or not? Right, if it's a good thing, well then I should say yes. You know, I want to, and if you're the kind of person I think, like you and I are, we are interested in a lot of things. We like to do a lot of things. We genuinely want to do so many things, more things than we have time for, and it's so easy to forget that also, following those interests also means that something else is going to get knocked off, and maybe it's worth it, but maybe it's not.
Speaker 2:Right and I think, like for me. I figured out that I can only do nine credit hours a semester, like that is my max. It frustrates me. I wish I could do more, but I also know I can't. But I also understand that it's a privilege that I can only do nine hours, like I don't have a grand or a big deadline.
Speaker 1:That- it's hanging over you. Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:That pushes me to do more. So I understand that, but then probably, in all fairness, it's also a lack of privilege that I'm here at my age still struggling through it, right, right, absolutely. So I mean, I think, regardless of privilege and of all the things I think it would be beneficial for all of us to consider, you know, what can I handle realistically? And there is going to be a cost. What are those foreseeable costs? Who's paying those foreseeable costs? And is that what I'm willing to do at this point in my life?
Speaker 1:And there's also a cost to saying no, absolutely, and I think this is where it can be helpful to accept that there will be regrets. Yeah, either way, you know, regardless of whether we say yes or no to an opportunity, there will be regrets. But there are some regrets we can live with and some that we don't. And you talk about limiting yourself to nine hours a semester, and I can identify with that too, because I know, like in grad school, if I would have taken more time to publish, I would have had more opportunities or different opportunities available to me after graduation. But I had decided that graduation was going to be my single focus, and so, while it would have been great to do more publishing while I was in grad school, I focused on just getting out, just getting done, and so that did limit my options, but also it allowed me to graduate on time. It also allowed me to be a mother and have kids, but also I wasn't able to be the mother that I had always thought I would be. So there were sacrifices on both ends is, I guess, what I'm saying, and that's not ideal. But I think what's important here to take away from this, these choices we have to make, is that it's not a reflection on us and what we're capable of. It's not a reflection on our innate intelligence, where we are most fulfilled in life, where our vocation, our most important vocation, is.
Speaker 1:But the reality is that our society was set up to function such that our going to college would be an uphill battle. Getting an education and being successful in that realm is going to be an uphill battle. Higher education and I'm sure I've mentioned this before on the podcast and I will keep mentioning it, higher education centuries ago was designed for wealthy, single white males who are being supported by their families. It was not designed for those of us who are supporting or caring for families. And there've been a lot of changes over the years. Of course There've been adjustments, but still the default college student is assumed to be a single, relatively affluent individual who is being supported by a family. And so if you don't fit that mold, it's going to be harder, but not because you're not smart enough. Harder because of these institutional realities.
Speaker 2:Hard enough, harder because of these institutional realities and unfortunately, it's not only embedded in our American culture, but it's also embedded in many religious cultures, so many of us are getting it from more than one angle, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So I think where we're going with this is that, instead of asking if we're smart enough for college, we're better off looking at the resources that are available to us to be successful. Instead of asking am I smart enough, the question is do I have the resources that I need? And depending on what that answer is, we might do better in the long run if we got those resources lined up than just jumping headlong into college as if being smart enough was all that mattered. But we know it's not.
Speaker 2:So I think the reality is that many of us are probably putting a lot of thought into this. We're already thinking about it and some of us might feel like we should blame ourselves, that we should maybe try harder, and I think the truth of it is that maybe we need to start out with setting goals of what you want for your future. For some of us, especially females, that's a completely novel thought, and maybe I am in a situation right now like when I think about as a young mom, soon after the twins were born, soon after my son was born going to college at that point would have been insanity and it would have not been the best thing I could have done at that point for my life or for my kids and luckily I was in a situation where I didn't need to and sitting there and blaming myself for being in that position probably wouldn't have been beneficial to anybody. However, I did set goals and I knew what I wanted to do, and I think accepting your situation for what it is should not be confused with passivity. It doesn't mean that we roll over and say that that is just not in the cards for my life. It doesn't mean that we live in a way that we perceive other people expect us to live. But I think radical acceptance means getting really honest about what is in front of us, what we are dealing with, and then basing actions on that.
Speaker 2:And I think so often we talk about hope and we almost romanticize this idea of hope that somehow, if we hope something, if we believe something, it'll get us there. But sometimes I think hope almost clouds reality and we can really hope for something. But if reality is that there's too many doctor's appointments, there is too many toddlers, if there's too many bills, in my way it's just not going to work at the moment. It doesn't mean you're not smart enough, it doesn't mean you are not capable, it just simply means the timing is bad. And maybe I can set small goals, maybe I can get my GED, maybe I can do a couple math classes to brush up on my math, maybe I can start in small ways and plan for that. But except that in the moment I have other things I need to focus on as well.
Speaker 1:You know, I think, something that I've observed well in myself but also in conversations with others from our background who maybe hadn't been considering college or maybe were thinking about it in a very maybe not in a super serious way, but thinking about hypothetically, and there seemed to be a thought that college was not something to do unless it would be easy. And this sounds so counterintuitive and I'm even questioning myself as I say it, but I don't know how else to express it. But I and I think when we encourage folks from our background to consider college, it can come off as saying oh yeah, anybody can do it, and as if we're saying and it should be easy, expect it to be easy. And I think we want to be crystal clear. That's not what we're saying.
Speaker 1:I could compare this with growing a garden. The last few winters I get sucked in by the little seed packets and I go. Of course I can start seeds, and I have failed year after year to successfully start seeds. I've got grow lights, I've got the stuff. I've not invested in heating mats. Yet that might be the thing.
Speaker 2:Anyway, all that to say- I bet that is the thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's probably the thing. All that to say, I know growing a garden is doable and I've been involved in it many times growing up, very involved with it, but I also know it took a lot of work and it's not something you just kind of do halfway. So there's lots of things that we do that are not sure things. There's lots of things we do that are not easy. We do them all the time, but we can do them, we can figure them out, and I think college is the same thing. So this is why it's so important to shift the question from am I smart enough to do I have the resources? Because whether you have the time, whether you have the money, whether you have the bandwidth, whether you have the moral support when the going gets tough, those are the things that are going to stand in your way. Those are much more likely to be the barriers than that you're not smart enough. That's the wrong question to ask.
Speaker 2:I so so so agree, and I think it's kind of interesting that we get hung up. I got hung up on the whole smart thing. I totally got hung up on the smart thing, and I know now that I was so asking the wrong question.
Speaker 1:So I think where this is bringing us, then, is that, instead of questioning our capability, we would be better off focusing on what is on, that radical acceptance of what is right in front of us, and then acting on that. Whether it is college, whether it is a new job, whether it is buying a new car, whatever it is, whether it's a big or a small thing, what is right in front of us, that radical acceptance will help us confront for what it is and not for what we wish it were. So that text link is in our show notes. If you scroll down to the description of this episode, you can click the link and your message will come directly to us, and we would love to hear what's on your mind. What are you working to accept? See you next time.
Speaker 2:Thank you for spending time with us today. The resources and materials we've mentioned are linked in the show notes and on Facebook at Uncovered Life Beyond.
Speaker 1:What are your thoughts about college and recovery from high demand religion? We know you have your own questions and experiences and we want to talk about the topics that matter to you. Share them with us at uncoveredlifebeyond at gmailcom. That's uncoveredlifebeyond at gmailcom.
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Speaker 1:Stay brave, stay bold, stay awkward.