Uncovered: Life Beyond
Join the conversations of Rebecca and Naomi, two ex-Amish Mennonite women who jumped the proverbial fence in their younger years and later experienced college as first-gen, non-traditional students. They discuss pursuing formal education while raising a family, navigating the hidden curriculum of academia, and other dimensions of reimagining a life beyond high-demand religion. Send your questions to uncoveredlifebeyond@gmail.com.
Uncovered: Life Beyond
32. 10 Things Saving our Summer: Finding Joy in the Chaos
In the mood for a deep, serious discussion? Then keep right on scrolling because this is NOT the episode for you. We're here to talk about the overwhelm that comes with summer's chaos--the kind of overwhelm that makes even picking out a watermelon feel like too much. Join us for a feel-good conversation that celebrates the small joys and the strong connections that make life beautiful. Expect to laugh, nod in agreement, and perhaps feel a little less alone in the daily juggle.
Links for Rebecca’s List
- Red Mug Coffee
- Raised garden beds (pic)
- Redecorated bedroom (pic)
Links for Naomi’s List
- DT/Thrifting haul videos (Pink Squirrel Studios, Do It on a Dime, Liz Fenwick DIY, Living With LK)
- Keurig milk frother
- Cooling throw blanket (similar item from Amazon)
- 5-minute pick-up (Sam Kelly Guide for Proactive Kids, 5 Minute Pickup (Dana K. White)
- Blooming Phlox (pic)
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This is Rebecca and this is Naomi. We're 40-something moms and first cousins who know what it's like to veer off the path assigned to us.
Speaker 2:We've juggled motherhood, marriage, college and career, as we've questioned our faith traditions while exploring new identities and ways of seeing the world.
Speaker 1:Without any maps for either of us to follow. We've had to figure things out as we go and appreciate that detours and dead ends are essential to the path Along the way, we've uncovered a few insights we want to share with fellow travelers.
Speaker 2:We want to talk about the questions we didn't know who to ask and the options we didn't know we had.
Speaker 1:So, whether you're feeling stuck or already shaking things up, we are here to cheer you on and assure you that the best is yet to come. Welcome to Uncovered Life Beyond. Hello everyone, welcome back to Uncovered Life Beyond. This is Naomi.
Speaker 2:And this is Rebecca. So guess what we're doing? The same thing we've been doing the last several times. We're back.
Speaker 1:We say it with such surprise Right, we're back. Yeah, pleasant surprise yeah.
Speaker 2:Summer always takes me by surprise.
Speaker 1:You think it's going to be like large swaths of time and then somehow it's just like bouncing balls all over the place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, and I picnics. I mean, I don't really love picnics, but I envision picnics.
Speaker 1:We're supposed to like them.
Speaker 2:Hopsicles, ice cream, watermelon. And it's like this summer, I'm too overwhelmed to actually pick a watermelon. Like standing in front of the stack of watermelons and being expected to pick a good one breaks my brain this summer which Matt goes and gets one for me, so we're good. But I just realized, because I look at them and I'm like yeah, no, I can't do it, I cannot pick a watermelon which sounds crazy.
Speaker 1:But I just realized that but you have a lot of other responsibility. And the watermelon, and the watermelon breaks me the straw that breaks the camel's back.
Speaker 2:Well, it's like they're all sitting there saying pick me, pick me, and I'm like, but I know half of you are no good and I have to pick the right one Too much pressure Right, right, so what have you been up to this?
Speaker 1:summer, naomi. Well, like last time, I mentioned my surgery, and so recovering from that is has been my focus the last few weeks.
Speaker 2:And that's going well, and that is good it is.
Speaker 1:It is, and I mean I get tired by the end of the day, but you know what's different is that I have energy like I'm not exhausted all day, so that's that's really wonderful. My children with their dad the month of June, and now they're back with me for a couple of weeks here in July, and so they're, you know, spending time with friends, and you know we're doing all those summer things. You know spending time with friends and you know we're doing all those summer things like popsicles and watermelon and everything, so, so it's been good.
Speaker 2:Should we talk about how much kids eat in the summer?
Speaker 1:Oh well, and also what they eat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what they?
Speaker 1:want to eat? Yeah, Because since they're coming back, I wanted to have all their treats you know, all of their favorite foods and everything, and then, before I know it, you know they're not hungry when I do make real food. And yeah, I got to get back to parenting, back to parenting. Do you, are you going through?
Speaker 2:a lot of food at your house? Oh yeah, are you going through a lot of food at your house? Oh yeah, and I've reached new heights in this whole mothering thing. I make meals and don't have enough food. Whoa, I know. Whoa I know, I don't know what I'm doing. I look around and I'm like okay, I have no idea what I'm doing. I've never done this before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're lacing it with something, I think when the twins were gone for college and then coming home, I just didn't do the math of how much two extra people actually eat. And they're working, they come home, of course they're hungry.
Speaker 1:Right, right, well, and that's almost doubling Right. Three to five, right? Yeah, makes sense. Wow, well, that that's almost doubling, you know, going from three to five, right, right. Yeah makes sense. Wow, Well, that's great. So you've been busy, yeah, redecorating and looking after people's needs and doing all these things right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, is the time to redo and redecorate and all the things which, to be fair, after living in a house for so many years, there's some rooms that really need to be repainted and it looks great. Thank you, I realized painting for me is a little bit like cooking the less people that know I can do it, the better off we are. I'm actually fairly good at it, I guess, but don't necessarily enjoy it. So, yes, I'm like, okay, we're just going to do it and be done with it. So we redid two bedrooms and I promised myself for the rest of July I'm not doing any more of that kind of stuff, I'm just going to write my dang book. So here goes, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. You take all the time. So many writers will say how they just have to get selfish with their time. I mean you know, and they have to pull away, and and yeah, that's the only way it's going to happen. There's always things demanding, right.
Speaker 2:And I think probably most adults, most parents, most you know whatever can attest to this. But the amount of energy that just goes into scheduling activities, doctor's appointments, just goes into scheduling activities, doctor's appointments, you know, here we try to do all the ophthalmology and dental stuff during the summer, before everyone goes to college, and just getting all that stuff scheduled and then if you've got any extra stuff going on medically, you know again, you try to kind of get that figured out over the summer. On medically, Again, you try to kind of get that figured out over the summer. That takes a lot of energy. I'm always reminded how that takes energy.
Speaker 2:Right, right, making sure all the planets align, making sure everything is Right. And I'm telling you one thing I wish I would have done even more or would have done earlier with my kids is teach them how to schedule their own appointments, because I forget that. That is a skill, like that's having that conversation with this receptionist and saying what you need and working out when it works. That's a skill and something I wish I would have made them participate in earlier or younger. So yeah, for you parents, listening start when they're 15.
Speaker 1:Well, it's one of those skills. Once they need to do it, they can figure it out. Oh, certainly.
Speaker 2:It's not like it's going to take them a long time to well, but maybe, um, because I think the young, I think these kids hate making phone calls even more. Absolutely, yes, agree, so I mean it's, that's a whole other thing right, and so there's kind of a.
Speaker 1:There's multiple layers there of skills to learn.
Speaker 2:There's multiple layers. But additionally, then, by the time they turn 18, a lot of the doctor's offices won't let you schedule for them anymore. Right, so now you have to line up your, you have to be with your kid while the doctor's office is open in order to schedule the appointment, and then if you have to leave a message and they call back and your kid is not with you anymore, it becomes this whole whole thing. Yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:So anyway, yes, kind of I feel like I'm in the middle of that. That sounds exhausting, exhausting.
Speaker 2:But isn't that what we all do?
Speaker 1:It is, it is, and that's why we're all exhausted. So, in light of that, I think our topic today is very timely podcasters or bloggers, content creators, who will periodically give a list of the things that are either saving their life, giving life however it is, and it's like this mix of big and small things, tangible and intangible things, that are really benefiting their life or really adding value to their life.
Speaker 2:You know, in a way, that that others might also find useful and I think sometimes we can get stuck in our little world and, especially when you feel overwhelmed, it's easy to be like it's just crazy, it's overwhelming, I am drowning. And in the middle of that, if we can pause and find things that are good, and find things that are actually giving us life, it's like okay, there is a part of my life that is overwhelming it truly is, but there's still so much good there, and I think it's neat to tap into that, exactly, exactly, and so that is what we're going to talk about today.
Speaker 1:So what's the first thing on your list, you know?
Speaker 2:I've been getting up I've been trying to get up a little bit earlier, even if it's 30 minutes before anyone else moves and just being by myself it is like the most amazing thing. I can stumble around the kitchen and do my thing, and it's just me and my cats, my darn cats. But something about that time alone has been life-giving and something I don't think I even knew I needed.
Speaker 1:Well, when you have so many moving parts during the day. Yeah, so many moving parts to manage during the day.
Speaker 2:It makes sense that that that time alone is real is really necessary well, it's like 30 minutes an hour, whatever to exist, without any timeline or any agenda, it's just being.
Speaker 1:And we all need that Right.
Speaker 2:How about you?
Speaker 1:The first thing on mine feels a little humbling. It's not very sophisticated, but as someone who was brought up to be frugal which I'm sure you can relate to the idea of getting a bargain, all this is so important and I can go to a thrift store or Dollar Tree or somewhere where it's so cheap, right, and I can go there and I can buy all kinds of things that I don't need because it's a good deal, or this thing is so cool even though I don't need it, right. So I'm trying to cut back on that and all that to say. This is what brings me to the first thing on my list. It's the uh, the substitute, what I'm using to scratch that itch. So instead of going for an afternoon of thrifting, I'm watching dollar tree and thrifting hall videos, uh on, and I found one YouTuber who's located here in Iowa and she's going around to all the Iowa dollar trees and and then you know she does her video and shows all the things she she found.
Speaker 1:And every tree, every tree, every store is a little different right, every store kind of has different inventory and so you never quite know what you're going to find, and so kind of the thrill of the hunt is part of that. And then, of course, thrifting, thrifting videos, so I can get on my exercise, my gazelle, and put in some steps and and get my retail therapy it scratched all at the same time.
Speaker 2:And I'm not spending any money. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love it. I'm getting a kick out of that these days.
Speaker 2:You know, when we were redoing the rooms, both of them needed like just little things added to it. We took out some older furniture. But again, I'm on Facebook Marketplace looking for a bookcase. Bring the dang bookcase home, we paint it, we sand it, we do all the things. And I did have the thought. I was like how old do I have to be before I realize that I can just go buy something new? Right, yeah?
Speaker 1:Right, and I think there's that kind of sense of obligation or at least I have it in the back of my mind that like, oh, I'm being irresponsible if I don't stretch my dollars as far as possible. In fact, just last week my stove started shooting out sparks, oh dear and lights in other parts of the house started blinking. I'm not sure what was going on, but it was having issues and this oven is probably older than me, so I knew its days were numbered.
Speaker 1:Anyway, and of course, yes, my first impulse is to go. Okay, after I turned off the breaker, to say, okay, let's check out what's on Facebook Marketplace. And Dave, my boyfriend, said you know why don't you just go to the local appliance store? They will deliver it, they will set it up, they will haul the old one out.
Speaker 2:And I was like oh, what a novel idea.
Speaker 1:I guess that's an option, and it was, it was it was, and so went and got an awesome new stove that's coming in a couple of days. So anyway, that's a long, that is a long um haul from haul videos, but that's, I guess, another thing that's about to uh be saving my life here soon, as soon as I love it love it well, and I think in addition to that.
Speaker 2:so I kind of have commitment issues, Like if I buy something new I have to love it.
Speaker 1:I have to be committed to it.
Speaker 2:I have to. You know there's a commitment issue there A bookcase for my kids' room and chances are good we're going to be moving, you know, within the next several years. Do I really have that kind of commitment to it that I want to drop a couple hundred when I can get something used for 25 bucks and paint?
Speaker 1:it, you know. So yeah, right?
Speaker 2:no, I hear you, yeah. So the other thing on my list and I've just realized how um committed I have been to it is coffee. I go to bed at night and I just think I can wake up and have my coffee tomorrow morning. I have a French press. I love it, for years.
Speaker 2:I had a French press and didn't use it because I didn't know how to use it and I didn't know. It was so simple and I love it. I allow myself to buy locally. There is a company, I guess, that roasts their own coffee and it's my favorite and it's expensive and I just go buy it and it's a little gift I give to myself every morning.
Speaker 1:No wonder you are enjoying your mornings, early mornings.
Speaker 1:So much are enjoying your mornings, early mornings so much. Yeah, absolutely good coffee is worth it. I know I always get sucked into like the flavored, the cheap flavored coffees, yeah, and because they look like they're going to be so good, and then there's such a disappointment. But yeah, what you're talking about is the good stuff, yep. So my second item is actually very related to that. I got myself a milk steamer also Facebook marketplace, Right.
Speaker 1:So I've gone through stages where I've had, you know, a cappuccino maker or whatever. Right now it's just straight coffee maker. You know drip coffee maker nothing fancy, very basic, and I have a little. You know one of maker nothing fancy, very basic, and I have a little. You know one of those little battery operated milk frothers and I think about getting a real frother. And then I'm like, do you really need one more thing on your tiny little kitchen counter? No, you don't need one more thing and you know this is good enough. But I saw this and then I priced new ones and they were like $100 new and I had really good reviews and this one was just 15 bucks and I was like okay, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, you love it. Night and day difference between the little battery operated thing and this one, and so I am in love making my coffee pretty awesome these days too.
Speaker 2:You know, I have one and I need to pull it out again because I have a drawer that mine fits into and I kind of forgot about it. So it's just like a frother, right.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, so it looks like an electric kettle, like a small electric kettle, stainless steel, teflon on the inside, and then you just pour milk in it and then put the lid on. The lid has a little frother and it heats it. Press the button and you know, in just a couple of minutes it heats the milk. It's steaming hot and all frothy, and I don't know how it changes the flavor, but it does. I swear it does. Somehow it changes theothy, and I don't know how it changes the flavor, but I swear it does. Somehow it changes the flavor. And yeah, so just getting the real thing can make such a difference instead of some cheap imitation. Loving, loving my milk steamer. So it was a splurge that was well worth it. So what's your number three?
Speaker 2:So my number three is and it's kind of funny because at some point I had this friend that I would meet for coffee and it's my husband's like. So now, how do you know her? I remember in the conversation I paused and I'm like, how do I know her? And I kind of shrugged my shoulders and looked at Matt and said I don't know, somehow she just decided she loves me. And it was like this humble realization of I don't know. I truly think she decided she loves me and I'm so lucky.
Speaker 2:Well, of course, unbeknownst to me, she's attached to this really cool group of people and they invited us they get together once a month and invited us to join them. It has been so life-giving and I feel so humbled and so grateful. But they are the most fun group of people and it's a mixture of ages, but they have been so much fun and during the summer they do more random things sometimes too, and sometimes there might be four couples, sometimes there might be two and sometimes there's 10, like whatever. There's a huge variation, but always so much fun and always a place of exchanging ideas. I joke because some of them didn't grow up as conservative Anabaptists as what you and I would have. And my joke to them when they don't understand terminology that I might use I'm like what do you guys talk about in therapy?
Speaker 2:You don't have these problems, what do you talk about in therapy? But no, it's just been really life-giving. And people have talked about groups like this before and I've always been like how cool that sounds and all of a sudden I realized that, accidentally and kind of because one person decided she loves me, I've been adopted into this group and it has been something I'm eternally grateful for. And I know that sometimes leaving a community and a social setting oftentimes a church setting that you're familiar with and you've grown up in and you know inside out is so scary and there's a lot of loneliness that can happen in between that and between this. And trust me, I've experienced it. But know that it's okay to have that space of loneliness because eventually I think you do find your people and it's wonderful, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Right. The loneliness can motivate it, can motivate us to seek it out. And then also we appreciate it when we do get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it can motivate us to seek it out. This is kind of another, probably another, subject, but I'm not so sure that that loneliness doesn't serve a good purpose. Role, role, because it teaches you to kind of instead of going. I mean face it in a lot of the church groups not all of them, but a lot of the church groups there's a certain amount of enmeshment that's going on. That is debatable, healthy, unhealthy, and I think breaking away from that and learning to be by yourself has a level of importance and value. Yeah, especially after being part of that.
Speaker 1:Right, right. Well, I was just going to say that's such a special thing to have a group that is able to cohere around friendship. Yeah, you know, and usually our friendships develop around some other thing, you other thing, where we're interacting with people. But I have on occasion been part of groups like that and that's really wonderful. Because of those periods of loneliness, we know how rare it is, how special it is, how valuable it is. Yeah, that's wonderful.
Speaker 2:I'm so glad. I think it's one of the first groups I've been in where conversation or subjects might come up, and a perfectly valid response I mean it's a response I've had is like I'm going to need another beer before we address that issue and it's okay.
Speaker 1:So there's a lot of authenticity.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of authenticity.
Speaker 1:And openness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and good questions and curious questions and questions with care. But it's also okay to be like I need another beer before I talk about that, right, and then if you have the beer and decide you want to talk about it, it's a judgment-free zone.
Speaker 1:Like it's not yeah. Yeah, that's wonderful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really great.
Speaker 1:I'm so grateful. That's awesome, and you know what I'm looking at my list, comparing it with yours. Yours is so spiritual and mine is so materialistic.
Speaker 2:So I'm just going to Nail me, I did not what? No, it's not Consumerism.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, hey, I'm part of the system, whether I want to be or not.
Speaker 2:Okay, but I'm looking at your next one, and your next one's really cool because listen, I think your next one is fabulous because talk about consumerism. I've got air conditioning, you don't, so your next one is absolutely life saving. If I did not have air conditioning, I would be very grumpy right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, I know I don't have central air, but I do have this great big, huge tree outside my house and I do have a few window units, so you know we're not when it gets really bad, you know we're not over here suffering. But I thought this might be something that others might benefit from too. It's a cooling throw.
Speaker 1:My couch, like the couch cushions, they seem to, especially in the summertime, just like radiate heat back from your body. And you know, here I was recovering from surgery, spending a lot of time on the couch, and I was going, and here it's hot, sticky weather, got my fans, but then also sitting on the couch just is unbearable. When it's, you know, you feel like you're, you're in a cocoon, you know, right, yeah, anyway, so this cooling throw, I got it from Aldi. I had been reading about the little, the cooling mats like for pets, and then I saw that they had this cooling throw coming the next week in the Isle of Shame and I went and and I went and got. It is great, and so I use it kind of like a couch cover and like it feels cool to the touch. I don't know some kind of magic made up like synthetic.
Speaker 1:I mean it's some kind of synth that I haven't. I haven't even looked at the tag.
Speaker 2:That's okay, that's okay but it's.
Speaker 1:It's not very thick, you know, but but there is, and I don't know if there's some cooling gel in there, but it's kind of this quilted surface, and I guess in the backside, I think maybe isn't as cooling, I'm not sure. I just have the one side up, but it's great. And so if anybody is dealing with a couch that is reflecting heat back to them, I highly recommend a cooling throw. It's well worth it feedback to them.
Speaker 2:I highly recommend a cooling throw. It's well worth it. I think that is awesome. So number four on my list is something I've been thinking a lot about this summer is and I think it's probably part of my whole overwhelmed thing. I realized that if you go back and listen to podcasts in April, you'll probably hear me talking about. You know, I'm overwhelmed, but we're going to get through school and then we will be into summer and we'll be all better. And all of a sudden it's July and I'm still here.
Speaker 2:But I've been thinking a lot about, you know, the skills and resources that I've collected over the years, and previously I would have been thinking, and previously I would have been thinking okay, I need to get my crap together. I need to find a therapist to help me figure out why I cannot get on top of things and I need to just push through it. You've got to take care of this stuff. And it kind of feels good to be in a position where I know that it's okay to be kind to myself, where it's like, yeah, I care about other people, but they also are responsible for their lives. I don't need to-.
Speaker 1:The whole world doesn't rest on your shoulders.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and I don't need to absorb all of that, and okay, so you're feeling overwhelmed. What can you let go of? What's really important? What's not important? What do you need today to alleviate stress or anxiety? Almost conversing with myself more like I would a friend Instead of this drill sergeant, push through. You got to do more. You got to be more attitude. It's just this pause and just this giving space for you know what. It's okay to step back, it's okay to do less. Your value is not hinged on all of that.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. Do you think also there's a part in there of, instead of internalizing that frustration and instead of saying something's wrong with me that I can't do all this, you're going? Oh wait, this is an unreasonable amount of responsibility that I could be taking on, and it's not that I'm incompetent, it's that the size of the load, the size of the responsibility, is too much.
Speaker 2:I think that's such an amazing and important observation, absolutely. And I also think, naomi, what's really interesting is when we start being kinder to ourselves. We can see that in other people too. Like we can see that, oh honey, it's not you that's a lot to carry or that's a lot of responsibility, it's not expectation, is overwhelming and it's okay to, it's okay just to let go of some of it, right? And so, yeah, I think I think being able to do what you just did and make those observations about other people so life-giving too. So thank you.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, that's so important, I agree. So my next one is not an item you can buy, but it is a strategy. I've been wanting to get my kids more involved in just everyday things around the house and since I haven't been feeling well a lot this past year, it has impacted my parenting. So that you know, because it takes energy to manage. It takes energy to manage to make sure they are getting done the things they need to get done, and so that's been one of the things that I now have energy to do. In a way, I didn't there for quite a while. So one of those things is the five-minute pickup Oftentimes, why kids drag their feet when you say, hey, it's time to clean up, because they think, oh, this is going to be an hours and hours long project and I'm never going to see the light of day If I say, hey, let's just do for five minutes.
Speaker 1:I may or may not set a timer, but anyway, usually it's actually less than five minutes. For five minutes, pick up the trash For five minutes, look around, notice what is out of place, what can we put away. Five minutes and then we're done. So we've been doing that more and it's not like we do it at a regular time. Because it's five minutes, you can kind of drop it in wherever you have an opportunity. I'm kind of shocked, but there's been less complaining. Yesterday someone even pulled the vacuum cleaner out of their own volition and started vacuuming after they picked up things.
Speaker 1:So there is light at the end of the parenting tunnel. That five-minute pickup has been a really good tool and it also kind of related to your previous point. It kind of takes everybody off the hook If the house isn't perfect at the end of five minutes, that's okay, the house is looking better. It's looking better and we can do another five minutes later, so that's been a really good strategy.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think it's brilliant for several reasons, but the first one that comes to mind is it teaches them to observe and then go do fix it. Like see what's wrong, go fix it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I can't take credit for this. It's obviously not. The five-minute pickup is not original with me, but and I will we'll link to all these things in the show notes and I will link to a couple of resources that were kind of my inspirations for for the five minute pickup and for encouraging kids to notice rather than having to tell them everything. Yeah, yeah, brilliant.
Speaker 2:Brilliant. So last on my list is over COVID. I had asked my husband for a raised garden, I think for my birthday gift, and it was probably one of the best birthday gifts I've ever asked for. Every spring I kind of grumble about it a little bit. I have it. I think I should use it now, but then I'm always so glad I am using it.
Speaker 2:There's something about going out and scratching the dirt and planting the plants and coaxing them to grow, Something about watering them, something about being so glad when it rains that I don't have to water them that day and then looking out and watching things grow. I just think is so much fun. And I love the fact that it's small. It's very manageable and fairly low expectations. But I like the process of planting, of nurturing and of seeing growth and I like the fact that it's produce then that we can use. This year, for the first time, I also bought some dahlias, so I have a couple of those planted in the garden and it's just fun. Maybe it'll be a complete fail, Maybe I won't quite figure out how to do dahlias, but it's fun to experiment and try and I've been surprised at how good it has been for me.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, and don't you think that part of the delight in that is that it's so much more manageable than those long, endless garden rows that we used to work in?
Speaker 2:Naomi, I think about those rows and all that weeding like oh my word, and then did your mom grow lima beans, those things are horrible to shell.
Speaker 1:Oh, not too. I was thinking green beans. But yes, you're right, you're right. But, yes, those long, long, long rows of. Yeah, there were a lot of hostas that the previous owner had planted and they were nice, but at some point there were deer that came along, wildlife that came along and ate them off, and they've just been kind of struggling ever since then.
Speaker 1:And I, just over the last few years, I had this growing need for flowers outside, like I wanted to look outside and see flowers, right, and I don't know, it was like an impulse that I don't know if it's part of getting old or what, and I have spent a boatload of money on ordering plants, like from catalogs, of course, buying them, and I'm trying to buy perennials, and I have just had a really tough time getting things to grow or at least grow beyond a few struggling stocks. And I think part of it is that so many of my flower beds are in partly shaded areas and so you know, it's just that's why the hostas grew well. But there was this one patch in my backyard that was the grass wasn't growing well on it anyway. So the grass, you know, when things got dry, that was the patch of grass that would turn brown the fastest and I thought, you know that actually would be a good spot for a flower bed, so dug it up last summer and I planted some phlox.
Speaker 1:Phlox is one of those things because it's in the spring. It's like we need flowers in the spring and I have planted them, different kinds, multiple times over the last few years. Finally, finally, finally, my phlox are blooming. They're the woodland phlox. They're this rich, rich magenta. There's some I think they're coneflowers.
Speaker 1:I forget now, or they look like kind of like coneflowers but maybe a little bit brighter pink and I'll take a picture and I'll put it in the show notes. But they're finally blooming and the picture will show in the background, you know, you'll see the part that's the shaded flower bed where I can't grow anything or anything of substance, right? So one thing at a time, and for now I've got some beautiful phlox and now, if I can just get some visible from my kitchen window then I'll be happy, see, and that's your project for next year.
Speaker 2:You'll figure that out next year.
Speaker 1:right, that's right. Yes, and so, if anybody has any recommendations, what are some flowers that really bloom well? What are some flowers that really bloom well I mean the less upkeep the better, because I'm a negligent gardener but that grow well in shady areas. I just need some color out there in my garden. So if anybody has recommendations, please, please, send them along. I'd love to try. I'd love to try something else, that something that is a perennial, that's just going to take care of itself.
Speaker 2:Show up every year and be happy about its life.
Speaker 1:Right, and if it can, and if it's poisonous to all the weeds, that'd be even better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like, I like that plan too. I love it.
Speaker 1:We got some good things going on in our lives, don't we? I love it. We got some good things going on in our lives, don't we? We do, and.
Speaker 2:I am realizing, even in the middle of being overwhelmed and having to learn to just be okay with imperfection, how much beauty is still there and how much I'm so grateful for and it really is a good world most days.
Speaker 1:That's right. That's right. And to our listeners if you have something that's saving your life right now, something you want to share or a shady perennial to recommend, drop us a line in the show notes, so the description of this episode. In your app there's a link that says send us a text message. If you click on that, let us know what's saving your life right now. We'd love to hear.
Speaker 2:Thank you for spending time with us today. The resources and materials we've mentioned are linked in the show notes and on Facebook at Uncovered Life Beyond.
Speaker 1:What are your thoughts about college and recovery from high demand religion? We know you have your own questions and experiences and we want to talk about the topics that matter to you. Share them with us at uncoveredlifebeyond at gmailcom. That's uncoveredlifebeyond at gmailcom.
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Speaker 1:Until next time stay brave, stay bold, stay awkward. Thank you.
