Heal & Grow with Nickie
Join your host, Nickie Kromminga Hill, and her guests on a journey of personal stories and insights into healing and growth from past and current trauma. The focus is on fostering true connections through conversations centered around vulnerability and authenticity. The goal is to collectively heal and find opportunities for growth, promoting a sense of togetherness.
Heal & Grow with Nickie
27. A Conversation with Colleen Lindstrom
Have you ever felt pressured to achieve perfection, only to find the pursuit exhausting and unfulfilling? What if we told you that embracing your imperfections and living a 'Bronze Medal Life' could be the key to authenticity, balance, and happiness? Join us on a journey of self-discovery in our chat with the dynamic Colleen Lindstrom, a successful broadcaster turned devoted mom and caregiver, who advocates passionately against the cycles of perfectionism.
We kick off by sharing a few laughs over Colleen’s hilarious parenting antics and her heartwarming story of juggling work and family life. Colleen's shift from the glitz of celebrity gossip radio to caring for her family and ailing mother is an inspiration for anyone who's been torn between professional ambitions and personal priorities. From discussing societal pressures and self-doubt to our shared love for dance, Colleen’s story is a testament to the strength and resilience that comes from living a life true to oneself.
Connect with Colleen here: https://www.thebronzemedallife.com/
Find Colleen's podcast on all podcast platforms! Click here for Apple podcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bronze-medal-life/id1716639898
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Website: https://nickiekrommingahill.com/
*Purchase Nickie's book on Amazon! "Things I'm Thinking About; a Daughter's Thoughts on the Loss of Her Mom"
https://www.amazon.com/Things-Im-Thinking-About-daughters-ebook/dp/B083Z1PWKP?ref_=ast_author_mpb
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*For speaking inquiries or for questions or comments on the podcast, contact Nickie at healandgrowwithnickiepodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or professional advice.
Nickie is not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast.
This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice.
Welcome to Heal Grow with Nikki. I'm your host, nikki Kraminga Hill. Here we talk about everything Grief, hope, illness, work, family, tragedy, possibilities, fun stuff and not so fun stuff. It's all on the table. Let's take a look at our lives and work to Heal Grow together. I'm so glad you're here. Hello, hello everyone. Welcome back to Heal Grow with Nikki. I'm so excited. I have a very special guest today. My dear friend Colleen Lindstrom is here.
Speaker 1:After a 20-year successful career in broadcasting, including 10 years as the co-host of the Colleen and Bradley show on MyTalk 1071, colleen Lindstrom made a pivotal choice to transition from the world of media and Hollywood gossip to prioritize her family.
Speaker 1:Colleen and her husband Matt are the parents of two daughters in heaven and three children on earth, the youngest of whom are twins. Colleen is not only a devoted dance and baseball mom, she is also a compassionate caregiver for her mother who is battling dementia. Beyond her familial roles, colleen passionately advocates for breaking the cycles of perfectionism, drawing from her own journey to encourage others to embrace imperfections and live authentically. Her story is one of resilience, love and a commitment to nurturing meaningful connections while challenging societal expectations. In her multifaceted life, colleen Lindstrom exemplifies the strength that comes from embracing imperfections From a successful broadcasting career to being a dedicated mother and caregiver, she navigates life's challenges with authenticity and resilience. Colleen's advocacy extends beyond her personal journey, as she encourages others to prioritize fulfillment over perfection, fostering a narrative that resonates with the essence of genuine, meaningful living. Who wrote that? Ai bitch Hell, yeah right, I gotta start doing that with everything.
Speaker 2:Everything, oh my gosh, live for it. Ladies and germs, I am so proud of you.
Speaker 1:I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2:I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1:I'm so proud of you. I am so excited to introduce you to Colleen.
Speaker 2:Lindstrom, I'm just happy to be in front of you and in space with you. You're in my house.
Speaker 1:I love this. You haven't been in my house in a while. It's been way too long it really has been. I'm just thrilled to see you.
Speaker 2:It's so fun to be with you. I want the world to know that this is not a new friendship.
Speaker 1:No, We've been friends since God was a boy.
Speaker 2:Decades. No, we danced together. Nikki and I danced together when we were, I think, six. Oh yeah, well, I was, so I'm a couple years older than you. Did you start with Mrs Holmes?
Speaker 1:Yes, Okay, me too Did you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I was three, I didn't know this yeah, you did, you just forgot.
Speaker 1:Well, my mom probably knew it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I remembered you when we danced together at MBJT Minneapolis.
Speaker 2:Ballet.
Speaker 1:Jazz and TAP, yes, okay. So now I'm going to have to go through all of my photos.
Speaker 2:We were not in the same classes when we were, because you're older than I am, so we weren't in the same class at Mrs Holmes, you guys. Fyi, in case you're like who's Mrs Holmes?
Speaker 1:Lois Holmes.
Speaker 2:Lois Holmes and she taught in her basement of her South Minneapolis home and we took with her until she retired. And then we all moved. Everybody from Mrs Holmes moved over to Minneapolis Ballet, Jazz and TAP.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And you and I were both in the Lake Hats, so that's what I remember we were competing in. Yeah.
Speaker 1:We were a pretty big deal actually.
Speaker 2:We were.
Speaker 1:This was kind of when dance competitions, I feel like, were really starting to kick off. And I mean, colleen has a daughter who dances, so she knows all about and I know this, but maybe you don't know this to your listener is that dance competitions are crazy now. They're bonkers and the way the kids are dancing they're so I don't know. They just have so much more skill than I ever had. You know, it's incredible, but when we were dancing together and we were little, I feel like dance competitions just had kind of started Totally and we were really good actually.
Speaker 2:We won a lot of First Place Ribbons. We started it. We started it, yes, yeah. So we danced together like growing up, and then, when that dance company fell apart that's another story for a different podcast you went one direction, not like the band, one direction. You went to one dance school. I'm sure that's what everybody was wondering You're Harry Styles and I'm Niall Horan. No, you went to like a competitive dance company and I did not.
Speaker 2:I went to a different kind of dance company, and then and then and then we went to church together though at Monalavut. We're just going to name drop all the places.
Speaker 1:Here's our entire life, here's where we've been.
Speaker 2:We camped. We went to camp together at Cathedral of the Pines, but then we went to college together and we got to dance again together in college. So we've literally been. I mean, we've been knowing each other forever but have been friends for a long time Well, probably like almost 40 years. For sure, half of my life.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, cause, right, cause. We started off so I started dancing. The very first place I went instead of Mrs Holmes was the Y. I think it was the Y or something. Maybe I just made that up. I just made that up, but I was three when I started dancing. So, gosh, kaleen, if I've known you since I was three, that is 45 years. Yes, it's a long rough time, oh my gosh, it's okay if you say ass on here.
Speaker 2:It's a long ass time. Yeah, we've known each other for a long, long time. We've been through all kinds of things together Fun things, not so fun things but here we are With microphones on our face.
Speaker 1:It's emotional, like of happiness, but also just thinking about because, like most friendships I have, I don't. I think this is sort of typical, like Kaleen and I have always been friends, and also there's been moments where, like we're together all the time for like six months. And then it's uh, we drop off for a little bit.
Speaker 1:And we, you know, it's just kind of ebbs and flows. We've, we're always friends, but like how much time we are to we spend together, yeah, changes, yeah. So I was just so excited when, when I asked Kaleen if she wanted to be on the podcast, because I don't know, I just I haven't, I haven't seen you in a long time and I'm just so happy that you're here.
Speaker 2:So thank you, and it's just like a fun way to catch up too. So now everybody can just listen while we catch up. Listen to us catching up which is so funny.
Speaker 1:Um, cause, really, that's, that's what these. I call these like interviews, but I don't market it that way. I always say, like, like yours will be like a conversation with Kaleen.
Speaker 2:Lindstrom, you know, because that's what it is.
Speaker 1:It's just like someone's peering in on our conversation. Yeah, um Kaleen has super big news and it just so happens that, timing wise, this worked out for for her and well and me, obviously, to have her as as a guest. But, um Kaleen, do you want to tell us your super big, awesome news?
Speaker 2:I have begun my own podcast, oh, and it is not without um hiccups, however, um, I like the thing I'm focusing on is, uh, living a bronze metal life.
Speaker 2:So when you think about, like how I don't know, I just feel like we're so conditioned to klronwe Frogagit크, try to aspire to perfection and like unattainable things, and I feel like if we could just get comfortable, like my tagline is it's okay to just be okay. And I always feel like I also need to caveat that by saying it is also okay to not be okay, and that is different from what I'm saying, because if you are not okay, that needs a different type of attention. But also it's sort of almost like validating that by saying it's also okay to just be okay, because some days you know how, when somebody says to you like how are you doing? And the real answer is like, actually not great, bob, but I'm not doing great. But we always say I'm good, I'm good, I don't want to do that, I'm not about that life. So I'm about being authentic about because I feel like if we all talked about it more, we wouldn't all be chasing this unattainable thing. Oh my gosh yes.
Speaker 2:And that triggers my anxiety big time. So, I am a person who struggles with anxiety and depression, and part of what triggers that is this pursuit of something I can't attain.
Speaker 1:So if I can put that down, and you know you can't, I cannot Like, either like you actually can't, or it's like that is you know what. That's too much work. Let's be honest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I don't, and I don't want to put the work in.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So I started a podcast to kind of like, and I also have a sub stack.
Speaker 1:And I also Tell us what a sub stack is.
Speaker 2:You know, I don't know. This is how I describe it. I'm sure that people who are like actual journalists can like like there are really good journalists on sub stack. You don't need to qualify to be on sub stack, you just have to write things.
Speaker 1:Oh, I see, so it's literally like the new version of a blog.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's so it's. I like to write, I'm an essay style writer and I like to write. I like to do writing, so I write, I do a podcast and I also have a little store for fun, because I also want people to wear cheeky t-shirts and things, I don't know. It's just like a clean store. A clean store is really, really fun, y'all.
Speaker 1:It's. I mean I will link all of this in the show notes because you have to get on board. You have to. I'm making you Like her merch. I'll let her talk about her merch, but I think because I know good people, I'll let her talk about her merch. But I think, because I know clean, some of it's just extra super duper funny to me. Like I don't want to give away your whole first podcast but, like. Will you please tell us about Sad Lion?
Speaker 2:I would love to tell you about Sad Lion. So I have a 17 year old now. Today he's 17, and I have twins who are 13. And my youngest twin, who's one minute younger than his sister, is a character, and they're all characters, but he's a special kind of character. So when they were about like three, his twin sister dressed up as a leopard for Halloween and his older brother, my oldest boy, dressed up as Anakin Skywalker and he had like a lightsaber in the whole line, yards, of course, and Keller, my youngest.
Speaker 2:He decided he wanted to be a lion. So we have this cute, like fuzzy lion onesie with like a little lion mask. And Halloween was ruined when he realized that he didn't get a lightsaber. And so there's this picture. So we're trying to like, line them up and this is like. This is the thing that's not in the parenting books, Like the amount of anxiety that arises when you're trying to just get your kids to stand still for a picture. Oh, yeah, I'm sure it's ugly right Like we're not our best selves.
Speaker 2:We're like just one picture please. Can you look nice for the camera? It's on. I'm asking, I'm yelling at them. So we're tweaking them all lined up on the front steps and my daughter's face looks like it's going to jump off of her skin. She's so happy. And my older son with his lightsaber. He looks like he's living his best Star Wars life. And my Keller, my lion, is sitting down with his little paws like folded just so in his lap and the look of sadness and forlorn on his face is so comical.
Speaker 1:Keller, I'm sorry, I'm laughing at you.
Speaker 2:No, you shouldn't be sorry because he's in on the joke.
Speaker 1:And he's not even looking, even nowhere near the camera.
Speaker 2:No, nowhere near the camera, he's like looking up to the side, it's literally.
Speaker 2:I have a friend who has a band who was like we were going to make that the cover of our album because we were looking for the saddest picture we could find, and it truly is. I mean, there's just so much. It's the gift that keeps on giving. So every Halloween we roll it out and we celebrated our house. Because I hate Halloween, we celebrate Sad Lion Day, so we put our both. My husband and I put the picture everywhere and it was honestly. It was my sister-in-law. She goes why don't you sell Sad Lion merch on your website? And I was like that will be corrected by tomorrow and so I made a couple different things. There will be more. I just threw some stuff out there because I needed the world to have Sad Lion. But you can get a mug, you can get a little cosmetic bag t-shirts oh my god, it's adorable.
Speaker 1:Here's the best part.
Speaker 2:So, in order to use the likeness of Keller again, he's a quirky kid I had to promise him I'd give him part of the proceeds but the other part, so he gets like 50% of the proceeds, but the other 50% of the proceeds goes to the Minnesota Zoo Foundation.
Speaker 1:So that.
Speaker 2:Sad Lions can be happy lions.
Speaker 1:Oh, so Sad Lions can be happy lions.
Speaker 2:Why am I emotional about that? Because that's what Sad Lion does to people.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that's such a great idea.
Speaker 2:It's not fun. It's such a great idea.
Speaker 1:Every year Colleen changes her profile picture on Halloween with no comment. A while ago there was a comment, but this year I think at some point in the comments you're like happy Sad Lions day to those who celebrate. But I remember, I forget about it Every single year I forget about this and then I see it and I know this year I was like. I look forward to this every year.
Speaker 2:It's the best.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's such, it's so great, and I think, have you guys tried maybe I'm making this up have you guys tried to recreate that picture with me? Not yet.
Speaker 2:We talk about it all the time.
Speaker 1:You need to do it when they're like 40.
Speaker 2:We're going to have to. It's going to be a while, because Keller is also not cooperative, so he has not dressed up since Sad Lion Do you know this. Oh no.
Speaker 1:He's a Halloween.
Speaker 2:Scrooge like me, so that's my first podcast is about how I'm a Halloween Scrooge. Yeah, you kind of are I fully have raised another Halloween Scrooge, so Wow, that's interesting to me.
Speaker 1:Was he like kind of scarred by that experience?
Speaker 2:No, he never. He doesn't like, he just doesn't like to dress up.
Speaker 1:It's just like a thing.
Speaker 2:He loves to trick or treat. He's totally gone trick or treating. He just won't dress up. Oh, interesting I know, and I just you know, this is my thing with my kids. I'm like you, do you? Yeah, like that's great. I don't try to get him into a costume. I send him out there to trick or treat and whatever he's wearing, and if people get mad about it, listen, I don't have the energy for that.
Speaker 1:Right, just give the kids some candy. Just give the kids some dang candy, right.
Speaker 2:Whatever, why do people get so worked up about that?
Speaker 1:They can't work up about. I get worked up about a lot of stuff. That doesn't make any sense. Yes, you know, just like one of the things that was my mom's pet peeve was Christmas lights that are up too early or past or past their prime, she would get just like irrationally upset about people's however they wanted to time their holiday decorations. You know, like it's February, Take them down, and I think for a while I was just especially when I was a kid I sort of just adopted whatever my parents thought, because I didn't have my own thoughts yet, I guess.
Speaker 1:But lately, and especially during the pandemic, I noticed this. People started decorating for like the holiday season super early. It was like all we had, I know, and my first instinct was to be like it is way before the holiday season and I was like why do you even flip in care? Let people just do what they want. You know, if I don't like the decorations, I don't have to put them up at my house.
Speaker 1:Yeah you're good, it's all good. So I would really love to talk today about well, I mean we're going to just tangent all over the place which is great.
Speaker 1:So Kleena has this really interesting job that I will let her explain. But it was for a talk radio station here in the Twin Cities area and it was all about celebrity gossip. So she went from that. She was at that station for years and years and years in a couple of different positions but, like her bio said, she was most noted for being on the Kleena Bradley show. For those of you that listened to that station, here's a little throwback for you. Cobra, we're hysterical. Yeah, I loved that. And so she went from that. And then recently in the past year, year and a half, and I mean I'm really not telling this but decided to step away from that. And now is concentrating on the bronze medal, life and owning your authenticity and your vulnerability, which I'm here for snaps snaps, snaps.
Speaker 1:So to go from reporting on celebrity news and gossip to living your own personal journey, what has that transition been like for you?
Speaker 2:So, ok, well, this is like an onion, this is like an emotional onion, but I just was thinking about this the other day. So I'm a huge Swifty. Like I love Taylor Swift music, I think she is like the icon we need right now.
Speaker 1:OK, pause. Taylor and Travis yay or nay?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, so glad you brought that up, because that's exactly where I was going with that.
Speaker 1:Ok, ok, ok, sorry, go ahead. Honestly, it's so funny.
Speaker 2:Because I have been noticing I am not invested in that relationship at all Interesting.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I have a friend who's texting me all the time and she's texting me TikToks, and look at the kissback stage. And look at he totally loves her. And look at him. They're in Argentina together and blah, blah, blah. And I had a moment where I went I think I need to tell her I can't do this Interesting. And I texted her back and I said listen, I love this for you. I want you to be 150% in on this. I want this to like. I want you to obsess about this every spare moment you have, because I see it brings you joy. Yeah, I need you to know I am enjoying, not giving a belief about it. Yeah, Well, because that was like that's all. All I'm working there right now. I would be talking about it constantly.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I would be deep into it. And she was sending me a TikTok where this woman was like it was like 10 minutes of her going very deep on every single thing that Taylor had done in the night and what it had to do with Travis at the concert in Argentina. I mean like, and I watched it and I went, oh my gosh, I would have been doing this a year ago. Yeah, yeah, for monies, yes, and getting paid, but I realized there is a freedom and not caring about what other people are doing anymore. Now, that being said, that doesn't mean I mean I was good at the job. Ok, I don't even like to say I was good at the job.
Speaker 1:She was excellent at the job. I did the job.
Speaker 2:Thank you, but I was good at it. Or the reason why I got hired to do that job is because some of it was actually really natural, like I've always been a pop culture junkie, I have always loved television, I've always loved movies, I've always loved celebrities. I'm like I'm all in. But there is a difference between how you process that on a daily basis, when, like the stress of I know this sounds so like wha wha, but it is stressful to do a show for three hours. Yeah, talk about a thing, and then the second you get off the air, there is not a moment to look back and go. What did we do? Well, how did we do it? All I'm thinking about the next minute at 3.01 is how am I going to do this again tomorrow? Yeah, five days a week, yeah. Then you get off on Friday and that's the first time at 3.01 on Friday. And this is my experience. I do want to be really clear about that. This is not everybody's experience, but this was my experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'd get off the air on Friday at 3.01. And then it would be like the let down, Like I'd be like, oh OK, now I can be like present for my family and not be like worried about what the celebrities are doing, and I'm here and I can be present and accounted for. And then Sunday would roll around and the panic would start again and I'd go oh my gosh, I have three hours to fill tomorrow and I have to be innovative and creative, and the grind of that made me not my favorite person. Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:It was, I loved it, and it was not easy. Sure, and it was really the people who paid the price the most for it were my kids, yeah.
Speaker 1:And especially your time frame right, Because you were on noon to 3. Noon to 3.
Speaker 2:So at the same time, just as I was wrapping up working at my talk, my mom was diagnosed with dementia and she was put. She wasn't put, we moved her into assisted living and she's still in the assisted living. And what was so hard for me is between noon and 3, I was unreachable. Yeah, so I was reachable, but not like I couldn't do anything, so like if my mom was having a problem I was always the one that she called.
Speaker 2:I have an older brother but he lives in Wisconsin, so everything comes to me. I'm the caregiver, so I would get texts with questions and I couldn't even look at the text, because you don't do that when you're talking, when my only job is to talk to the person across the table. For me, the rudest thing for me to do is to pick up my phone and look at my phone while we're in the middle of a performance. So I couldn't check it, but I would know Like, oh gosh, something's going on on my phone and I couldn't be there for my mom when she needed me and then I would miss the kids' things. And my older son is really accomplished at baseball, so he would be traveling for baseball and I would be trying to pay attention to a game at the same time, oh sure.
Speaker 2:Do your job.
Speaker 2:And do my job and the feeling of being torn between all of those things. It made me care less about the celebrities and what they were doing, because I was missing out on my own stuff and I would get kind of mad about it. Like how do I know every single move that Kim Kardashian has made in the last week? And I cannot remember what my kids wore to school today? Yeah, and I thought this is not where I need to be right now. Where I need to be is with the people I care about and I am not doing anything that I want to do. Well, right now I didn't feel like I was doing radio as well as I wanted to, and I for sure didn't feel like I was parenting, to say nothing of the fact that, like we lived through a global pandemic I mean, don't even get me started. That's why I'm here. So, anyway, that's kind of like that's what. But so, yes, now being removed from it, I realized, like I'm like Taylor love who you want, girl. I hope you're happy.
Speaker 2:Just make me some good music and I'm happy, I'm good, I'm good, we're good, we're good. Tay yeah. So, but I still love, like I'll tell you. I mean they look adorable together. I want her to be happy.
Speaker 1:I hate, excuse me, I hate that I'm invested, I'm not. I'm not a Swiftie, Like. I don't even know most of her music. The only, the only songs that I know are stuff that's on the radio you know, but I saw that video of her running backstage to kiss him and I was like, oh, I just, I hope you guys are happy together. I mean, they look happy, whatever's happening is making her happy right now.
Speaker 2:Right, that's all that matters. That's great, yeah, yeah. So it's not like I was faking it. I was really like super into it. But also you also have to remember like trying to fill three hours a day Right Of Hollywood gossip, you can get real deep into it real quick. Right Now I get to fill in, which is so like my lifestyle, because I don't have the stress of like needing to do it on the constant grind. So I show up, I have the best time and then I'm like bye, and then I don't know when I'll do it again.
Speaker 1:That's so fun for me as a listener because I'll tune in and I'll be like oh Colleen's on the radio today. You know, it's so fun.
Speaker 2:And then you're gonna hang out with your friend for three hours.
Speaker 1:I know I love it. And another mutual friend of ours, zoe. She does a lot of the voice work. Voice work. So I'll turn on the radio and when I hear both you and Zoe I'm like this is so cool. My friends are on the radio, yeah, okay. So Bronze Medal of Life yeah, honoring, uplifting, acknowledging mediocrity maybe not mediocrity, but just like.
Speaker 2:You don't have to win the gold medal Right. You don't have to be the best at everything.
Speaker 1:Right or anything Right. I love that, because here's the deal, colleen. I know that I don't have to win the gold, but I liked metals, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So this way, I still get one, you still get one, you totally still get one. So I'm gonna tell you a story. I haven't ever told this publicly.
Speaker 1:And it might surprise you.
Speaker 2:Actually there's a couple like the Bronze Medal of Life has always been percolating in my life. It's always. It hasn't always been the concept of Bronze Medal of Life, but it's always sort of been kind of a thread that keeps pulling through my life and I'm always on a journey with it. Sometimes I'm not living my best Bronze Medal of Life, sometimes I lose touch with that. But there are a couple times in my life where I've like relearned the concept that like I'm never gonna be the best at anything. And it sounds terrible to say because I can see how you can misconstrue that to think like, oh, she doesn't think she's good at anything, and that's not necessarily true. I'm probably good at a lot of things. But the first time I realized, like, do you know why I quit dancing? I'll just start there. Do you know why?
Speaker 1:I quit dancing I don't actually and ladies and germs and others, queen is a stunning dancer. She's a beautiful dancer. It's always been just like a privilege to share class, or stage space with you. And I don't know the story about why you stopped.
Speaker 2:I don't think I stopped dancing because I realized I couldn't be the best at it. That's sad, right. That's like a super sad story and it was one of those things where I was at an age and a stage so I majored in dance in college.
Speaker 2:And I taught for like a year right after college, but I didn't perform and I didn't take class. And the reason why was because in our last dance concert I just had a moment where I was like I'm never gonna be good at this, I'm never gonna be the best at this, oh wow, and if I can't be the best, I don't wanna do it anymore, so I quit. And the problem with quitting dance is when you realize you shouldn't have quit dance. It's a lot harder to get back in. And so years passed before I realized how much my body missed it and how much my heart missed it and how much I needed it for more than just the dance and the art. Oh my gosh, you're gonna cry until I know. Yeah, sorry, I'm totally crying right now.
Speaker 2:No, it's okay. So I like denied that. That was so central to who I was until I finally let that thing go where I was like who cares if I'm not gonna be the best, who cares? And I tried to go back to class. And the hardest part about going back to dancing is going back to dancing when your body is like, hey, guess what? We haven't done this for a little while and maybe you want me to stretch back into the place where I was before.
Speaker 1:But I'm not really able to do that. I'm unable.
Speaker 2:So it was. I just got so discouraged and so sad and I just decided I couldn't do it anymore. So that here's like the beauty in the story, not beauty. It's not beauty. Here's, the good piece of the story is that I did find ways at different times in my life when I needed it. Dance was still there for me and I did it in the way I could. And so like I used to take a hip hop class called the funky ladies and I got to do a recital with my daughter.
Speaker 2:Not like we didn't dance together, but we were in the same recital At the same studio, at the same studio and I loved that and I would someday I probably will go back to that but and I've always had like dance still in me and I am at a better place now because I'm 46 and I've had some babies and I've had some time and I've had some life experience where I realized like the dance can come out of me However it's able to, and I don't have to be the best and so, yeah, it's kind of sad, though when you really think about that's how much I got in my own way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I think that that well. Firstly, thank you for just sharing that. I feel like that's a common. I mean, I know I have a very difficult time starting something new. Like, like, um, like, painting is the thing that I've really started to love doing, but it it has taken me a really long time to just show up and be bronze metal at it yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, because it's my paintings are fine, but I don't have any formal training and so I get. I get really stuck there Like, well, if you don't have formal training, then you know you have no business trying to do this and then make a profit from it and and you know. But you're right, we get in our own, our own, our own headspace, our own way. But it's just fine to show up and be completely average at something.
Speaker 2:And what if? Like, what if? The thing that makes you so good at it is the fact that you're unique or the fact that you're not trained in it, right, but that's the thing that makes you interesting, right? Like, I think about that too. Like, um, oh, I have. The one of the things that I loved about working at the radio station is we got to partner with all these like wonderful um, Alive and Kickin was one of them Um, great nonprofits, and I would always learn from them. And one of them that we worked with at one point, um doing a fundraiser was Interact Center for the Arts.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, they're an incredible organization.
Speaker 2:They are such an incredible organization and, um, one of the things that they talk about is, um, working your quirk, work your quirk, work your quirk, and I love that because it's like we get. So I think part of it is like okay, I could wax on for days about this, but I do think some of it has to do with, like, how the school system is is set up and how we are taught. Like, you must learn these things in this way and you get an A, a, b, a, c, a, d or an F, absolutely Right and and like. So there's such a like we're taught right what is right and wrong, and our lanes are so small and so rigid, but the truth is there's so much room for all kinds of different ways to do things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's no straight line anywhere. You can arrive at things, and I always was like waiting for somebody to anoint me something.
Speaker 1:Oh, me too. I was just like waiting for permission. Yeah, like you're an expert on this Someone else has suggested it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm an expert.
Speaker 1:Because, colleen, I don't know if you remember this conversation that we had. This was years ago, because I've dabbled in a thousand different occupations. But for a hot second I wanted to be a professional organizer.
Speaker 2:I almost finished your sentence, yeah.
Speaker 1:I really I love. It's interesting. I'm not necessarily that organized myself, but I like, I like knowing where things are. It helps me with my anxiety, it helps me just be in a free space, both, you know, literally and figuratively. So I was taking these classes on how to be a professional organizer and I think we were out for happy hour or something, and I and you told me because I was saying something like I don't know if I was talking about imposter syndrome, or I was like I'm not ready yet to tell people that I'm doing this because I, you know, in my opinion I hadn't done it long enough and you said just tell people, you're an expert. And I was like what she goes? She says, oh my God, we get people on the radio all the time Like I'm an expert in this, that or the other thing, and they don't know what they're talking about.
Speaker 1:It's 100% true. Yeah, You're like. They just said they were an expert and so she's like. So Colleen said just say you're an expert and you're going to start working and then, when you start working, you're going to understand what the job is and then eventually, you will be an expert.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's easier said than done, but it is 100% true. I have always marveled at the boldness of people who feel perfectly fine putting expert under their name as like it's their title. And I and I I remember when I realized like they didn't have any certificate from the National Association of Pop Culture Geniuses. They just were like I'm an expert on pop culture, right, right.
Speaker 1:And you're like, okay, well, that's what we need.
Speaker 2:That's fine, I will accept that. Like they didn't ever give me their curriculum vitae, they just I'm an expert and I was like cool and they didn't know what they were talking about anymore than I did. So interesting. But again, easier said than done, because how many times have I been like I'm not ready to come out of the closet. As the expert, I am Right.
Speaker 1:I've been thinking about that a lot lately, like even with this podcast. I knew nothing about podcasting really. I mean there and there's so much information out there that all I really did was Google. In fact, the other day a friend reached out and she said hey, I've been listening to your podcast, can you walk me through the steps of how to do all this? And I was like I just went to Google.
Speaker 2:You're like let me, just there's one step and it's Google. It is.
Speaker 1:And I thought I mean speaking of Bronz Mezzel. Excuse me, mezzel, speaking of Bronz Mezzel, I was like you just have to start. You just have to start and you're going to figure it out as you go. And I make mistakes all the time and, and you know, one day I'll be able to afford a producer. But you know, I say the wrong stuff, I mess up.
Speaker 2:I say, bronz Mezzel, you know, but it's like that's what we got to do If we, if we want to live out loud, so here's my favorite part about the Bronz Mezzel life is that you can even get a Bronz Mezzel at living the Bronz Mezzel life.
Speaker 1:I'm living it, but I only got third place.
Speaker 2:No, you're still. Like, you're still on the podium. Like that's what I love about it. Like I, because I'm the same way as you I was like I need to have everything.
Speaker 2:I was sitting at lunch with my friend Paul, who I used to work with at the radio station. He, like I would, he's actually an expert, like he's an engineer, he's all kinds of stuff. And we're sitting there chatting and he goes. So what is this Bronz Mezzel life thing that you've been talking about? I hadn't done anything yet, yeah, and he goes.
Speaker 2:I go, yeah, I don't know, like I'm having a hard time, like I can't like elevate or speech it, but like I think it's like this and I think it's I want to do this and there's probably a little bit of this. And he goes so why aren't you doing it? And I was like, well, because I can't describe it. And he goes who cares? He goes, just do it. He just starts and I go oh, you're right, dude, you're absolutely right. And that's the thing about the bronze. Like the whole, it's like nobody comes out with the perfectly polished. Not, that's not true. Some people do Taylor Swift come out with the perfectly polished thing and like it seems like all they can do is is make hits whatever. That is right, but that's the 1% Right.
Speaker 1:Right and some of us are just like trying to make it Spitball on it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's okay and it's, and that to me that's more interesting. Me too. Do you remember Opitz Outlet?
Speaker 1:Of course, Do I remember it? Is it gone? It's still a thing? No, it's still a thing.
Speaker 2:But there used to be. They used to have a location on Excelsior Boulevard in St Louis Park, and when you'd be driving down Excelsior Boulevard, my favorite thing about Opitz Outlet is, on the front of the window there was a sign that said hooray for damages and flaws. And I, philippine, loved that sign Because to me, it was about more than just being able to get designer clothes for a low price. It was like they were celebrating that these were imperfect things. Oh, I love that. I love it too. So I think about that all the time. To me, that's more interesting. To me, I am more interested in people who you know, show me that they're a little bit of a disaster. I find that far more interesting and fascinating than somebody who arrives at the moment Just completely polished, ready to go, ready to go. I'm like you're hiding something. You're a murderer? No, I'm just kidding, I don't think that.
Speaker 1:I love that. That was I mean. Yes, I'm totally on board with you're hiding something, but then you just immediately went to a murderer. That is fascinating.
Speaker 2:There was a super hot guy when we were in high school that went to him on all of it. That was at camp with us and I remember looking at I'm not going to say his name Mike Taylor.
Speaker 1:I was just going to say it's Mike Taylor, you knew it.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, oh my God. And I remember looking at him and thinking to myself he's got to have like ugly toes or something that I can't see, because nobody is that polished and beautiful and like. I truly believe that in the world, when I see something that my eyes are like, that looks polished and so put together, they look like they know exactly what they're doing, I have to stop myself and remind myself they've got something somewhere, just like I do, and they don't. Maybe they don't like come into the room with it like I do. I generally lead with this but like. But to me that's more. I'm more interested in that. I don't want to talk to the person who is trying to tell me how perfect and everything is together in their lives. Yes, I do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I absolutely do, and I think that that's where theater has done a I don't want to say theater has done a disservice to me. Theater has done nothing to me except give me some amazing friendships.
Speaker 2:But I think about the and a really great husband.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, theater did give me that, but I think about, like, the audition process where what you do is you show up like the person that you're just describing no flaws.
Speaker 1:You need to look a certain way, you need to be dressed a certain way, you need to sing, dance, act a certain way, because that's what you're going to get paid to do. It's definitely given me sort of a false sense of reality, and I've allowed that. I'm not saying I'm not without fault there, but yes, and it wasn't until, really, the pandemic where all of that was shut down and we couldn't do those jobs anymore. I was like what am I doing? Like I could still love theater and be a part of theater, but that's it's not real. Like I'm getting paid to pretend and I don't know that I really wanna do that anymore. What I wanna do is get paid to just show up To just be Nicki.
Speaker 2:Yes, right, which is enough. Right, exactly, it's flenty, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Right. And so I just love, I mean, I just love the not I was gonna say the idea of bronze metal life, but it's not an idea, it's not like this concept.
Speaker 2:It's like a full ass lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know, and just embracing normalcy.
Speaker 2:The other day I was sitting in my living room and I was belly aching about something I wish I could remember what it was, but I'm sure it was something very trivial Like I had like not cleaned some area of my house and somebody was coming over or something. It was something like that where it was really all about the performance. Yeah, and my husband just turned and looked at me and he goes that's not bronze metal.
Speaker 1:And I was like oh man oof.
Speaker 2:You are reading me right now.
Speaker 1:But that's not bronze metal.
Speaker 2:But the cool thing is, is that like, if you're gonna do this, you gotta do it, and you have to call yourself on stuff sometimes. So sometimes it does mean like the person that you love the most catching you, not like like falling into the trap of perfection or, like you know, trying to attain the unattainable. And there's something awesome about that too, cause, like I trust my husband he's great, he totally loves me yes, warts and all yes, like he has you know, shout out to Matt Lindstrom, he's the best, but that he got to be the person in that moment that he knew I could trust him and that he just told like you're not being bronze metal right now.
Speaker 2:That's not who you are, that's not what you're about. Yeah, yeah, why are you like Trying to put something on for?
Speaker 1:somebody else. That's not who you are. You don't have to do that. No, I actually thought about this when I was quote unquote cleaning my house today, cause I was like, oh, I should clean. We don't have people over all that often and we're not like dirty people.
Speaker 2:But you live in your house, we live in our house, right?
Speaker 1:And we, you know it's decently picked up, but, like you know, it's just, it's not super duper clean, and I, so I cleaned the room that we were sitting in right now and then, once that started, of course I was like, oh, I'm gonna, I should do this and this and this. And I was like A Colleen's coming over and Colleen is not a person that I need to clean my house for and, honestly, those are the kinds of friends that I want. I don't have to clean my house for you. But B we're going to be talking about Brown's mental life. Why would I ever be like, ooh, let me just paint this wall real quick before you get here, right?
Speaker 2:Right. Yes, I have a friend who one time came over to my house and I had cleaned for her and she literally walked in the door. We had no discussion about this and she just rearranged everything, like knocked over a couple pictures and just like rearranged everything on a little table on her way in and she goes, okay. And I was like what are you doing? She was like I can just tell you clean for me and I wanted you to know you don't have to.
Speaker 2:Okay, I love that Like messed it up a little bit for me, because here's the thing, like, yeah, I always think about this too. Catalogs and magazines and even TV and movies, like do us such a disservice because everything always looks perfect Right? Nobody lives like that. No, and when I'm watching HGTV, I love hometown. Like give me Erin and Ben Napier all day, every day. Like I seriously love them, I love what they're doing to the city of Laurel. If you're not watching, you should be watching it.
Speaker 1:I'm not watching it.
Speaker 2:It's so great Like it's this sleepy little town that they live in and they love the town and they're like reviving it by making it more beautiful. It's great, but the stuff that they do when they bring people into their new house, I think to myself these people, I'm sure they're so grateful and they're thinking where am I gonna put my like disgusting blankets?
Speaker 1:that we watch TV under.
Speaker 2:Also, there's never a TV in any of those rooms. Oh, interesting they never have a TV and I'm like mm-mm. They also like don't show you, like half of the rooms. All I'm saying is everybody has a mess somewhere Right In their house, in their person, in their family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, my mom used to say and it was really gross at the time cause I was little and I hated it, but to keep me in check she would say your shit stinks just as much as everyone else's. And I was like oh yeah, we all poop. What's that book?
Speaker 2:Everybody Poops, everybody Poops yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, just like keep it in check. We're all human beings and it's one of the reasons why I don't filter my photos on social Love you for that. I the only I did once for a painting that I did because the colors that I could see with my eyes were not showing up on the photograph and like I get why some people need to filter some of their pictures, but like, if it's a picture of me, I'll just like this is what I look like today, you know.
Speaker 2:Well, I always think it's funny too, because I'm like we have eyeballs, right. So when I see you out and about, I'm gonna be like, when I think about this, with okay, here I go back into celebrity world. But I think about this with the Kardashians, like they filter the heck out of their photographs, but if I ever saw them in person, I'd be like you don't look anything like those pictures and I'm. Do you think I'm dumb, or that?
Speaker 1:I can't see, or what is it. I don't think I'm dumb.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you, You're welcome. But, like, what is the point of that? I don't understand the point of it. And so it's even more egregious when it's people in your life that you know, and you see. I mean, you know, we all know the person who and I'm not I love you too. The person who over filters your picture.
Speaker 2:For whatever reason you're doing that, I love you too, but we can tell, we can tell, we can tell we see it because we know, because we have eyeballs, and so we know what you really look like, because we have eyeballs. Because, we have eyeballs and I get it too right Because sometimes you catch yourself in a profile view, because you never see yourself in profile and you go oh, ew, do I look like that? And then I realize, yeah, I do, and to everybody else that looks perfectly normal. But I never see that part of me, right? So who cares? That's what my profile looks like. Girl, you got a great profile.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I like yours, oh, spanx. So how can we support you on this brand new adventure?
Speaker 2:Okay. So this is, first of all, the first way you can support me is just by recognizing that the world would be a happier place if we honestly just all were okay, being just okay. I think we would have just a little more compassion for each other and grace for each other. So that's just like an easy way, like you're sitting here listening right now and hopefully it touched your heart a little bit, but if you do like what you hear and you want to have more of it in your life, I do I do.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Nikki, For the low price of $3.99. $3.99. Oh my gosh, I love that. I'm gonna steal it. You can listen to the Bronze Metal Life podcast.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It's available everywhere. Podcasts are podcasting. Maybe not all the places right now, but I'm working on it. Just it's Bronze Metal Life, where Bronze Metal rolling it out, yeah, but you can listen to my podcast and you can do all of this by just going to my website, thebronsmetallifecom. You can read my sub stack. You can get in touch with me and tell me what kinds of things you want to hear me talk about. You can check in and tell me ways that you're living a Bronze Metal Life and I will hopefully be able to feature that. In certain ways, it's funny, because I hesitate to be all about me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, it feels weird, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:It feels weird but also, oh, I kind of know myself the best, but I love to hear other people's ways that they're incorporating the Bronze Metal Life or ways that they have seen that show up in their life. So communicate with me, send me emails, whatever. And then check out my silly little store. It really is. I just like silly things. So.
Speaker 1:It's really cute.
Speaker 2:I have at my house. I actually have a box that says Napping Supplies and it's where we put all of the blankets and the pillows in the rooms. That blankets and pillows don't usually exist in your bedroom, so we just have it in our living room yes, Because when you need a nap you just need to have your supplies close. So I have an actual Napping Supplies box that you can get. I have a blanket that says do not disturb in my store, because my children will see me sleeping and still talk to me.
Speaker 1:And I'm like no, no, I must sleep, do not disturb.
Speaker 2:One time I was writing my friend a text and I meant to say kicking ass and taking names and that auto corrected to kicking ass and taking naps and I just kept that. So I've got some shirts with that sentiment on it Kicking ass and taking naps. I can't, when I'm taking all of those Cause, I do both of those things, yeah, and I think that naps are important because they help you regenerate so you can live a bronze medal life.
Speaker 2:You're preaching to the choir here so there's all kinds of good little goodies on there, and then of course there's all the sad lion fun that you can have. It's so cute Little color.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited for you, Thank you, Just to see, like how this is gonna pan out for you. And I know you know anytime you start a new business like I know when I started Heal and Grow, I was doing like coaching for a while, Skip, Thank you, Like I'm just so excited to see you know what you're working on now and in three months are you gonna be like, oh, let's tweak this, let's do this, or you know and what it's gonna be a year from now. I'm just so excited for you, Kaleen.
Speaker 2:Thank you. That's kind of the best part about doing this. It's like anytime you start something new, it's like just do it, just try it Like if you've got the seed of an idea because it's gonna take form and it's gonna change. And it's gonna be different six years down the road than it is the day you start, and all of that is okay and that's the process. So I'm all about the process and that's what the Bronze Medal Life is.
Speaker 1:Yes, celebrating the process. This was awesome. Come back anytime, I would love to thank you. Okay. What are you doing tomorrow?
Speaker 2:It's not a podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:But maybe another time.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's okay, that's okay. Thanks for letting me down easy. This was so great. I love you so much. I love you. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 2:I am so excited for what you're doing, so we'll just find more fun ways to collaborate together so people can heal and grow and live a Bronze Medal Life.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh new podcast. There you go. I'm gonna link all of Colleen's info while all the public info in my show notes, so please be sure to support her and check her out. Okay, love you. Love you, bye, bye. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, health or professional advice. I am not responsible for any losses, damages or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice. Please doщen the platform.
