Chesko and Regan discuss something they never imagined when this podcast started. Apparently grown men, with no underlying health conditions, are shitting themselves...frequently. We apologize for this episode.
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Theme song by Odanis the Rapper - https://www.instagram.com/odanistherapper
Chesko and Regan discuss something they never imagined when this podcast started. Apparently grown men, with no underlying health conditions, are shitting themselves...frequently. We apologize for this episode.
Support us on Patreon (and hear bonus content!):
https://www.patreon.com/mrpickmeandthemanhater
Merch Store:
https://www.bonfire.com/store/mr-pick-me--the-manhater/
Follow Us on Social Media:
https://www.youtube.com/@mrpickmeandthemanhater
https://www.instagram.com/mrpickmeandthemanhater
Follow The Manhater: Regan (F the Nice Guy) -
TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@ftheniceguy
Podcast: https://ftheniceguypodcast.podbean.com/
Follow Mr. Pick Me: Chesko (The Speech Prof) -
TikTok: http://www.TikTok.com/@speechprof
Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/thespeechprof
Facebook: https://www.Facebook.com/thespeechprof
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@therealspeechprof
Theme song by Odanis the Rapper - https://www.instagram.com/odanistherapper
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Mr. Pick Me and the Man Hater podcast. I am Reagan. I'm who? I am Reagan. It's contagious. You've given it to me. I am Reagan, aka the Man Hater. Chicka
Speaker 2:Chicka. I am, because like, I am what? Slim chick. What it sounded like. I'm Chesco, the pig, Mr. Big Me.
Speaker:I thought mine was bad. Chesco! Here we are. What year is it? Wicca, wicca!
Speaker 2:M& M for life.
Speaker:Oh, you know what? If Eminem could knock off the homophobia and the, you know, threats of violence against women, he's a good rapper. But if he could knock it off Eminem,
Speaker 3:if he could just, I haven't, I I'm sure, I'm sure he still makes new music, right? He just did. He
Speaker:just came out with something bringing back some shady, I guess. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm like, you're a little, we're a little old for that one. I think.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'm more of a Kendrick guy. I love how cool you
Speaker:are. Look at you being
Speaker 3:hip. You can cut this out if you need to. I did a, when I was coaching speech and debate, I turned, uh, to pimp a butterfly into a 10 minute performance for one of my students to do. And he won a national silver medal with it. So it was pretty, I was like, it was the day the album came out. I was driving to school, listening to it. I was like, this is, we need to do, this is amazing. This is like the greatest album. It's my, it's still my favorite album I've ever heard. And I, I, and I got to school. I was like, uh, I don't, I don't know if I say his name, student, I have something for you. He was like, Oh, and he was, it was one of my favorite students. He was like, Oh, Mr. Chesco, what's up? What do you got for me? I was like, you need, have you heard Kendrick's new album? He was like, Oh, I heard he came out with a new album today. I was like, let me show you what I want to do. He was like, do you think that would work? I was like, I, we need to do this. And he was all right. And it was terrible at first. But we worked on it because we both enjoyed it so much that we were just doing it by the end of the year.
Speaker:Are you sure you weren't in a 70s sitcom the way that just was you're like, Hey, Mr. Tesco.
Speaker 3:He literally would wear, he wore like leisure suits to compete in. Normally people wear like really nice, like tailored. He would wear like these, like 70s leisure suits to compete in. And it worked. It
Speaker:was one
Speaker 3:of my favorite people. He's just like
Speaker:that for him.
Speaker 3:Just this character of a person. And he's, he's still, he's a good guy. Well, we're, we're, I don't even know where
Speaker:we are right now. What year is it? Um, we're just saying our names.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Welcome to our podcast.
Speaker:Uh, by the way, I do not hate men and Chesco has already been picked. So
Speaker 3:yes, important disclaimer.
Speaker:We like to make it clear. We have had, you know, some people comment on that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker:We don't actually,
Speaker 3:why am I going to listen to the show? With man hater. What? Who would, who would, who would advertise that they hate all men? Like why am I gonna listen to that show? Probably wasn't for that person. Even with a disclaimer. They were never gonna like the show. Yeah. I
Speaker:don't think our content's for them and that's okay's. Okay. Feel free to tune us out. We don't. We're good. Now that we've talked about men that don't like us, I believe you have a story about men that I am not going to like.
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 3:So if anybody, if anybody's listening to this, if anybody is,
Speaker:we're Do you think we have no listeners?
Speaker 2:No, we just accidentally recorded an hour long pre show for our Patreon.
Speaker:Yeah,
Speaker 4:we're idiots. Because we just
Speaker 2:kept talking about life. Uh, and so, yeah, so we are a little
Speaker 3:off already. It's going to be a great episode, though, because that means we're in the mood. We are in a good mood. We're in a goofy
Speaker:mood. Yeah. We're in a goofy mood to be clear. We're not in the mood. We're in a goofy
Speaker 3:mood. Well, when I say in, when I go to my wife and I say, I'm in the mood, it's about being goofy. Right? That's what everyone's talking about.
Speaker:Is that not? I, you know, Jessica, I think that might not be what you, what you're trying to express there.
Speaker 3:Oh, well, I should have some apologies to make, but let's go back to what we're talking about today is something that is a little. A little gross, uh, that we, you might want, not want to play this one at work out loud.
Speaker:Yeah, disclaimer, there's some gross stuff about, cause mine is also a little gross.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So this is, um, there was a video that I made. A TikTok about it and it was, it was said my grandma, my grandmother, my grandpa told me never drop your drawers for any lady that wouldn't clean them if you shit them at work. And I'm holding that one close now is what it says and we have, we have some thoughts. Ugh.
Speaker 2:Theme sign. You want bad advice, man? I'll give it out. Glad I got some good advice for you. No, you don't Got some good advice for you. No, you don't. No you
Speaker:don't. Shit. Um, let me just say, why are, why are men shitting their pants? Well,
Speaker 3:I didn't, I, I read, I literally did not think this was going to be. I was just, you know, it's finals week. I didn't have time to like, think of like an actual thought out video. And I was like, Oh, this is funny. And so I commented on it. Uh, and I said, Oh man, if, if men are shitting their pants that much, they have bigger issues than bringing women home. And in my mind, that was the end of it. I was like, Oh, that's a silly little joke. And I thought I was making the absurd comment. In the sense, of course, he didn't mean literal shit. It was, yeah,
Speaker:not literal shit. Metaphorical shit.
Speaker 3:Of course, it had to mean, like, oh, you don't want to be with a Metaphorical shit. Metaphorical shit, right? Yeah. It was, you, you don't want to be with somebody who won't be you, with you when you're at your worst. And maybe that's what his grandpa meant. Maybe?
Speaker:But I mean, I just think as far as words of wisdom from an elder go, this one's a little Little sass, but carry on.
Speaker 3:But, but, so I, that was supposed to be the end of it, but then someone commented on it, and they're like, Uh, you'd be surprised. And, I was like, wait. And, well, this is, the part, and so I made, and then I got several comments that were like, well actually, It's more common than you'd think. And I was like, hold on, hold on, we're, we're talking literal pooping is happening. And this is not, this is also something I clarify in a second video. And I think it's important to clarify this in front, uh, in front of this. We're not talking about incontinence or IBS or someone that has an actual medical condition that might be there. Cause somebody was like, well, I have. You know, uh, Crohn's disease and occasionally, I'm not talking about this is the amount. Cause I made the video about it. Hundreds, hundreds of the most terrifying. And that's the only word I could just, just comments from women that were saying, Oh yeah. From women, all women that were saying, Oh yeah, my ex husband used to shit himself monthly at work or comments about where, uh, I've had. Multiple exes who would get off, hold on, who would get off of our bed and there would be a streak.
Speaker:No, no, no, no. This
Speaker 3:is more common. It was hundreds and it was not like, Oh, people joining in on the fun. These were detailed stories.
Speaker:Confessionals. Of the men
Speaker 3:in their life, pooping.
Speaker:I mean, we talked about like, the men not cleaning their butts. We've talked about that. Right. What fresh hell is this? What does this mean? Why are men poop Why are they pooping? Why are they Is
Speaker 3:there Is it a fiber issue?
Speaker:Like, is it What's going on? Help Help a lesbian understand. What's going on in this world? I have I had heard some stories about some Yeah. Some men leaving streaks before I had always hoped that was like a bit of hyperbole. What's going on here? Like what? I know. I
Speaker 3:think there's a lot to unpack here. Uh, so apparently they're just shitting themselves and, uh, going on about their day. Cause they don't want, and there's going home and just handing off their, uh, trousers that are full mark. Trousers. Not just skid mark. Like poop. No, no.
Speaker:No Tesco.
Speaker 3:Here's what somebody said in the, in the comments about an X. This is once again, speaking about X. She was like, it was a power move. Like look at how much I can degrade you as my wife. Or as my, as my partner, as my girlfriend, clean this to show that you are less than me. So it's like, it was like a way
Speaker 4:for these
Speaker 3:guys to like, literally just like impose their will over some day there. So they would sit in their shit. For the day.
Speaker:To stick it to him?
Speaker 3:Just as a power move.
Speaker:I mean, I feel like, I know, I just, I'm broken. I don't want to believe it. I don't
Speaker 3:want to believe it, but it was too many comments. Are they becoming literal
Speaker:babies as they descend into the maturity? Like, they want to be treated like babies? Cause there's that whole thing, um, I don't know what show it is, but it's got, uh, Ugh, who plays Don Draper?
Speaker 3:Oh, uh, Mad Men.
Speaker:No, who plays him?
Speaker 3:Oh, sorry.
Speaker:No, you nailed that.
Speaker 3:I got it. And now his name is gone. I let, uh, John ham,
Speaker:ham
Speaker 3:and bubbly skit. I don't know if, you know,
Speaker:so John ham and it's, oh God.
Speaker 2:Someone thought that was hilarious. Listening to this one
Speaker:person.
Speaker 2:No one did. No, no one did. My wife.
Speaker:Don't stop saying my wife. Nope. Nope. Don't
Speaker 3:that's a patreon exclusive joke. We have to keep that off of lock it up.
Speaker:Lock it up. Just go Those are secret. That's the patreon secret. Um There's it was him and god now I can't remember. Uh, jennifer chasen lee, uh, and He's talking about like like he doesn't want to have any responsibility He wants to do whatever he wants and she's like you you want to do whatever you want with no responsibility Only one type of person is afforded that a baby You want to be And I was like, that is what it is. It's a hundred percent. They want to be nurtured and taken care of like a baby. And now I'm like, has it gone to, to pooping? Have we, have we fully dedicated ourselves to being a baby?
Speaker 3:Like I, I, I wanted this not to be. I, I, I kept waiting for like the, the, uh, gotcha
Speaker:right from a hundred
Speaker 3:people from a hundred people, like hundreds. Here's one of them. I lost count of how many times my ex husband shat his pants. Like, how, how do you do this in your twenties, thirties?
Speaker:Help me. Like somebody help me. Like, I don't,
Speaker 3:I don't even have theories.
Speaker:I don't either.
Speaker 3:Is it like, is it like a thing where, you know, there was the, the, the big jokes of like, uh, weird things that men find to be effeminate? Like, is, is like seeing a doctor for an incontinence issue? Like a, do they do that as, as like a weak, only a weak man would, would, would do that?
Speaker:Yeah. If anyone has answers, please let us know. My ex husband used to yell at me for using too much toilet paper because he would only use one square.
Speaker 3:Oh, see, somebody wrote that their old boyfriend's roommate said you women don't know how to use your underwear correctly, you're using too much toilet paper. What? Meaning the underwear is there to catch what you don't, you aren't able to wipe off.
Speaker:Mmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker:Chesco, I I mean, I know I'm in lesbian land, like, I totally get that. But is it, is it this bad out there?
Speaker 3:So one person said, Because men don't eat properly, I had an ex that primarily ate meat, bread, and energy drinks. Oh. Always something about how his shits were awful. Eat some fiber. Okay.
Speaker:There's some science.
Speaker 3:There, I mean, there's, there's, I mean, you do see those, like, uh, Those guys are like the only meat, like the carnivore kind of,
Speaker:right. Maybe it's fiber. Like I I'm just reading just thing after thing of men pooping themselves.
Speaker 3:Here's another great comment. Okay. One guy literally was like. Acting like I was being hoity toity and like, like speaking like, Oh, okay, we get it. And he said, we get it. Not all of our relationships are as this is exact quote, or as egalitarian as you and your, uh, wives like that. I was, this was not a feminist take, right? That's that this was, this was not me saying. Wait a minute. Grown men with no health underlying health issues are shitting themselves a lot? And this guy was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, fancy pants. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know somebody had perfect cheek control. Your golden throne of hoity toity ness. I don't
Speaker:You're so above shitting yourself. I'm sorry. You're golden trousers. I'm
Speaker 3:sorry that I need a partner to change my diapy when I get home. What? Does that make me less of a man?
Speaker:I mean, I'm just amazed that, like, it's not even skid marks. It's, it's some of them are skid marks, but some of it is.
Speaker 3:Well, and that's the, uh, that's been a running thing for a while of, of this, like, Homophobia of, of these, these want to be masculine guys so much that they don't wipe. That is all that by itself. That is terrifying. They don't, that's the, have you heard of the reasoning behind it? Is that's why they don't want to touch their own butthole. Because that's, that's for gay guys.
Speaker:Okay, well you don't have to dive on in, but you can do a quick swipe just to drive by.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. You can bidet. No, but it's literally a Oh, but they
Speaker:do think bidets are gay. I know that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. Anything going anywhere near. So it's better to just walk around. With
Speaker:skids. But let's, let's address, I think, well, no, it's not the bigger issue because men seems to be an epidemic, but let's talk about the fact that the expectation is after they poop themselves, like so many warnings on the, you shouldn't have sex with a woman because he said, drop your drawers, right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. This was a, this was, that's the weirdest part about this is that there's a, there's a It was sexual in nature. It
Speaker:wasn't even like a partner, like wife. It was like, right.
Speaker 3:Don't, don't, don't marry someone unless you know they'll be for you when you shit your pants. Like, even that is still a weird saying, but I could be like, okay, like I, if, if we're something terrible happens to me, I want my partner to help me. Let
Speaker:me run past and make a, make a distraction.
Speaker 3:I could see that, but it's the fact that it was paired with. Don't drop your drawers for a woman who won't clean them if you come up from work having shit in them.
Speaker:I know this is I feel like that's a fine you know what? That's a great strategy for men who want to think that way. Don't drop your drawers. Don't be sleeping with women. If your expectation is they clean up your dirty undies. Oh my God. Like I just like, even if that did happen, why would you then make it the responsibility of your wife to clean it?
Speaker 3:That that's exactly that's the other the bigger part to me. It's like right and that's where I feel like it's a power thing. It is like a degradation. Maybe kind of thing. I don't know. At least be honest that you have like a kink that is that if it's if it's a consensual kink. Whatever. I doubt
Speaker:it.
Speaker 3:I don't, but it doesn't sound like this is a, this is a way for say, well, if you wouldn't do this, then you clearly are less, you don't love me.
Speaker:How would the reverse go? If your wife came home and had a little accidente, you know, would you clean her drawers?
Speaker 3:Well, they're, these are guys that are probably like the same ones that will, if you've seen women's that talk about like the, uh, pH will, will like stain underwear and they're the guys that will be great because there'll be comments that are like, the guys are like something's wrong with you, what the hell is, or, or that are like terrified of periods, like the same, these exact, these are the exact same guys that would be horrified by, by the natural functioning of a woman's body that will then be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't judge me for shitting myself weekly.
Speaker:Oh, my God. Is this
Speaker 3:where our podcast ends?
Speaker:Maybe. I mean, we
Speaker 2:shouldn't have done this topic.
Speaker:It's just stunning to me. But I think it's a very bizarre mindset that these men are having. If men are agreeing with this, I don't know who's agreeing with this.
Speaker 3:Oh, no. The comment section was full of people that were like, yes. It was a but it was the original video was full of just people that were like this guy gets it
Speaker:Grandpa gets it. I'm a pants shooter and I he gets it Yeah, but it's just this idea of like you giving someone the gift Of dropping your drawers, which that's their language not mine, right? Like equates to I mean that could be a one night stand that could be a dating versus relationship like so if they want to have Relations with you. They should wash your filthy, dirty, contaminated underwear, right? I
Speaker 3:didn't even think about it from that perspective. Like, the whole first part is like, men, if you're willing to bestow a woman with your presence in the bedroom, you better make sure that she deserves You by, by proving that she would be devoted to you, that even if you were so inconsiderate that you shit your pants sat in it all day and did not think to yourself, maybe this should be on me to clean,
Speaker:throw them away. I
Speaker 3:was like, throw it away. That's a life advice. No, but even if you were so. Fucking, I don't know if I've ever said f word on this podcast, but it's deserved. So fucking inconsiderate that you are going to bring home your shit covered underwear to give to her to clean for you that she'll stick around. Maybe I've been too nice to men.
Speaker:I'm regretting my choices. Well,
Speaker 3:cause I, how did, and this is like, it's, it might explain. A lot about why so many guys are like, I just can't find a woman
Speaker:if you, if your bar for finding a woman is that you will not be intimate with them unless they'll clean up your underwear. Then, yeah, I think finding a woman under those circumstances that that's the bar for you. Like, but, but here's the things again, it's like what's equal in that exchange would be.
Speaker 4:You
Speaker:show up she shows up you guys are intimate right you're both like that's that's the trade off The idea that the trade off is well, I'll give her my body and she'll give me her body But oh, so she needs to do all this other like degrading things Like that's
Speaker 3:where they're not reversing that like bringing up what I just brought up They're absolutely not reversing that work only only drop your doors for a man who will Help you with your period if you or with your tampon if you have broken arms, like that would be like the equivalent of You know Single one
Speaker:no, not a pose
Speaker 3:this question like Yes, that would pose
Speaker:this question. Exactly what they want from women is really bizarre to me It honestly does feel like that's very much like I want a mommy You
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, especially when you combine it with all the other, like, things we've talked about.
Speaker:Yeah, because like, like, the only times I have to do that is like, I have a child, so of course, like, when they're little, you're cleaning that stuff up. It's like, You're talking about an adult, an adult man who could do better. We're not talking about actually like you could do better. You just don't care enough. And then you're like, but baby, I love you so much. Not only will I get naked for you, but I will hand you off my skivvies, my skid mark skivvies.
Speaker 3:And it's also, it's not like it's a heart. Real quick, when we get to it, it's not that hard. Like my nine year old does his own laundry. Really? Like he does it, yeah, he does his own laundry, folds his own clothes, like that's part of how he earns, uh, like video game time. Uh, and so, but every Saturday he brings his basket down. He doesn't like it. Uh, but he's able, like, if my, and that's why it's not like, it's like, It's not this high bar of like, how hard is this thing that you have to master doing? Right. If my, if my nine year old, who's been doing it since he was eight, can do his own laundry, then you can at least throw your own shitty skid marked. Haynes in the garbage without forcing the person that you theoretically love.
Speaker:Not even love just drawer. Just don't be forced for it.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Oh my God.
Speaker:Again, I think it speaks to the point of like, even if you had some type of issue where you were constantly, it's like, Then do it yourself. Like how is a woman cleaning up your dirty undies? Equate to a woman who's worthy of you
Speaker 3:and there were that I took this is the positive side I guess there there were a lot of people and not in the the comments both men and women They were like I have colitis. I have yeah, I have and they're like, but I take care of that.
Speaker:Right, right I
Speaker 3:I do that Because I, because of the fact that I realized that would be an undue hardship to put on my partner. Like if this is something that I know, and they do, and they do, they, and you know, there, there are situations, you know, as you get older and there are things, of course you want to be with somebody that would take care of you if your health deteriorates. But there's a very big difference between. Um, loving someone and, and caring about them, even as their, their body kind of betrays them and does certain things versus someone that is, is consciously not caring and just being like, whatever, take care of this. You should
Speaker:have to do that. I feel it's like degrading. You should have to do this. Because it
Speaker 3:absolutely has to do it.
Speaker:Again, I always say like it, the issue is. If it never ever would go the opposite way like that's what the problem is like it's clearly a power move It's clearly a you're lesser than you should have to do this and it's already setting up I guess I guess every woman you drop your drawers for is doing the laundry Sets up the gender roles already Because only women do the laundry. Like, oh, God. Like, it's just, like, the fact that that man was not embarrassed to post that is shocking. Shocking.
Speaker 2:And then to be, he's all excited. He's like,
Speaker:yes, this is the best advice ever. Well, you just admitted to the whole world that you and your grandpa really, Really don't like to use the bathroom really like to use your undies and don't probably wipe your butts good enough So
Speaker 3:this episode brought to you by bidets men's bidets battle bidets Camo bidets
Speaker:Camo, yeah
Speaker 3:camel now in camouflage
Speaker:if you can't see it. It's not gay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and when you press the button it goes
Speaker:Just plays the national anthem.
Speaker 2:No, cause I didn't stand up.
Speaker:Oh
Speaker 2:my god.
Speaker:You know what? Who knows if they're not standing up already. Clearly, they are not sure how to use the restroom. I can't. Who knows? Oh god. Okay, I have one. I
Speaker 2:think we, I think that was good. We can't keep talking
Speaker:about this cause that's horrible. I
Speaker 2:think we've lost a lot of
Speaker:followers. Bye. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. We,
Speaker 2:this is gonna be our last.
Speaker:No! This, this, this episode. Stay
Speaker 2:with us. We'll move on to less,
Speaker 3:uh. Terrifying episodes in the future, but if you like this, I'm sorry if we don't do more on this. We won't
Speaker:do more on this, probably. Okay, here we go. You ready? Am I the asshole for laughing hysterically after a date kept insisting to me that women have periods from their butts? Okay, you ready for this? There's more? Oh yeah, it's a whole story about it.
Speaker 3:Like, I don't understand. There's no way, like, normally when I hear an am I the asshole?
Speaker 4:Yep.
Speaker 3:I'm like, oh, there's going to be a twist. Oh, this was this, the person that was talking to you was actually three years old. And now, okay, you are being mean to a three year old. Yeah, that's
Speaker:not right. Now let's, it just gets worse and worse. So this
Speaker 3:is,
Speaker:so men don't know about their own butts. They don't know about women's butts. Okay. There was this guy, 22 male, who I, 22 female, have gone on a few dates with in the past couple of months. He's nice. And so far we've only progressed to going on public dates. But about a week ago, we finally decided to have a nice date at my place. Since I was going to be at my place, I let him know before that I was on my period, because I wasn't sure what expectations he had, or where his boundaries were yet. And we agreed to just have a nice takeout dinner and watch a movie. He comes over and we eat, then sit down on the couch to pick a movie when he says that it sucked that I was on my period. Then he said how he thought it was so strange that women give birth through the vagina, but have periods from their butts.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna go.
Speaker:Can you imagine being on this date? Like, you're just this guy you really like and he's like, God, you know, it's really, it's so weird you guys have babies in your vaginas, but
Speaker 3:Okay, hold on. Yeah, you know, you, you know you get, uh, you, you're pregnant by someone who pees on your butt, right? Listen
Speaker:to what he's saying. In parentheses, she says, This was completely unprompted from him. And I'm still not sure how he got on the topic, to be honest. Okay, I asked him what he meant by that, and he said again exactly what he had said before. I kind of smiled, assuming he was very much just joking, and said, Oh yeah, so weird, thinking that he was going to start laughing soon to end the joke. He didn't, and instead started to talk about his first and only girlfriend he'd had in high school and how she used to complain about bad period poops all the time. At this point, I ask him if he's being serious, and he looks a little confused and says he is. I ask him to explain how he came to the conclusion. He explained that his first experience being around periods was the high school girlfriend, and before he had never received or seen much information. He understood it was something that happened inside the body, and that blood came out. quote unquote somewhere, but assumed it came out of the vagina until he heard about her complaining and realized it actually came out of the butt. It was very unexpected coming from a 22 year old man. I somehow managed to keep my composure when I told him that periods do, in fact, come out of the vagina and not butts. Oh my god. It goes on, hold on. He looked confused, and then a little frustrated, and started insisting to me that I was wrong.
Speaker 3:No, I was, no!
Speaker:And then kept saying, are you sure? As if I was confused about where it came out of my own body. I explained to him the anatomy a bit and how it worked, but he was very adamant. Eventually he conceded that most women must have periods like that, but some. Hence, his ex girlfriend have their periods from their butts. He just could not understand no matter how many times I tried to explain to him that he had just simply come to the wrong conclusion and misinterpreted his girlfriend's words. The whole situation became so much that I started to laugh. I doubled over, clutching my stomach, crying, laughing over the whole debacle and he sat there, red faced, continuing to try and argue with me. Eventually, he said he was ready to leave and did before we could watch a movie. I felt bad for laughing after he left because I could tell that had been why he had decided to leave and he also texted me later that night to say he had done a little bit of research on his own and that he was no longer interested in pursuing any sort of relationship because he couldn't stand to be with someone who laughed at someone for not understanding. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 3:Because I've heard of guys not knowing that there's Uh, more than one hole, like, like I've heard that before and that one. Is, is already like, what's wrong with our education system?
Speaker:Yeah. Uh, public schools. What's going on?
Speaker 3:Yeah. But to, this is, I've never heard of someone thinking this before, like, and it's not just to think it, but then to argue, you're wrong.
Speaker:I think I would know. I had one girlfriend in high school.
Speaker 3:Complained about period poops and clearly the only interpretation of that must be
Speaker 2:that she is. Sping at her period.
Speaker:Here's the thing though. Here's the thing. It's not laughing at someone for like being ignorant to something. And I don't mean ignorant as in like. You're being ignorant, but ignorant is not having information. Um, it's not that it's the fact of like. You are trying to date the opposite sex.
Speaker 4:There
Speaker:is unlimited information out there to understand. As a partner, as a person pursuing someone, it is important to understand what's going on with them. It's like, a period is so com Like, it's every month.
Speaker 3:Was that story about someone who was on a date in 1927? Oh, you know
Speaker:what? It was handwritten on a screen. I
Speaker 3:knew it. I was, it was,
Speaker 2:that's what it was. It was before they had access to the internet. He was like, Oh,
Speaker 3:women get rid of their period by leeches. That's what I was taught.
Speaker:It came from a button. Stop. It's I think it was a period poop. Stop.
Speaker 3:It was a telegram. Okay. Did you get the telegram
Speaker:joke? Yeah,
Speaker 3:now it all makes sense.
Speaker 2:That was for
Speaker:all my friends out there who enjoy a little telegram humor. I was just like, that's the thing though. It's like, When people care so little about The opposite sex like to like to understand such a crucial part because here's the thing is in society Like I think about when I was growing up I hope it's a little bit different now But like it was a no no to talk about like if you had your period And leaked for some reason that was like the most embarrassing thing that could happen We smuggled tampons like drugs like you put like you would literally hide them in your sleeves and be like you got one Does anyone have one, you know, because it was like god forbid a man see a tampon like I guess in that case a boy because that was you know, middle school high school, but it's like there's this complete resistance and like Refusal to understand to learn to educate and so when this 22 year old man Just is like oh they come from butts I don't need any more information and I'm not gonna look that up and I will argue with you about it I will tell you
Speaker 3:Also, what do you think, it's not even, it is, no, it is even, it's everything, but it's like, how do you not, uh, do you not understand what a period even is? I, I bet he does not. Do you think you get pregnant by only Don't. No, because No,
Speaker:he's saying, he's saying, it comes from, the baby comes from there, but just not It's just, it's like, at this point, there's so many issues like this, but there, it's like, you don't know because you don't want to know. You have every opportunity to know, to know better, and like,
Speaker 3:Not to defend this person, this guy, Uh oh,
Speaker:Chesco, are we gonna fight? No,
Speaker 3:this is, this is a, he has been failed by so many people in his life, Oh,
Speaker:sure, sure, sure, the education system. This young
Speaker 3:guy, like, and so many There's somebody at some point should, and this, it could be like, I know when I was, we've, we've talked about religious culture and before, and that is like, we could have come from a very religious background where it's like, we don't talk about these things. It's not shunned or something like that. But like, To be failed. This is not just like an accident that this happened. Like this is, this had to be like a systemic fail, like a multiple systemic failure in the end. And then added onto it a willful ignorance to not fail. Ever pursue that because once you're, if you were a teenager and you're stuck with whatever you are, once you enter the real world, then it becomes a choice to, to, to stay in this bubble of ignorance. That's when it does become laughable. Right. Where it does not become the asshole for being, because also the, how else are you supposed to react to a guy arguing with you?
Speaker:Yeah, I know your body better than you. I don't care how many periods you've had.
Speaker 3:You clearly seem to know, both from experience and just from life, understand how this works, and I clearly don't, but I'm still pretty sure that this interpretation that I took from a girlfriend in high school must also apply to some women.
Speaker:Yeah. It's Maybe not you. Maybe, maybe I can't convince you you're wrong about yourself. Are you? Let's check. But this, but this high school girl, now she, yeah, I think that's a big part of it too, is the arguing again. Like, I have had so many toxic men in my life argue things about me, to me. I once had, um, a guy tell me, like, my sexuality was not, not a thing. And I was like, I think it is. I, I, I'm pretty sure it is because I am currently experiencing it. So, or like, there's so many situations in which like, you describe something that's happening and they're like, no, that's not what I've heard about women.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have a, this is kind of off topic, but related to that. The, uh, I, uh, was having a conversation with a friend of mine, uh, a lesbian. And it's pertinent to this story in a second. Oh, you're just trying to get points
Speaker:with me. Just so you
Speaker 3:know, I have another friend that's a lesbian. Um, yeah, this was in college and, uh, where I was like, well, I think everybody is kind of In the middle of sexuality, like the learn of the Kinsey scale. And I think most people, like almost everybody's pretty much in the middle of where they, you know, they'll find there could be someone at the right, they'll be attracted to everyone. And, uh, and she was like, Oh, so you think I just haven't found the right man yet. And I was like, no, that's not what I meant at all. And I was like, she was like, she was like, there's a reason there are straight people and gay people. And then there are people, there are people in the middle, but by saying, and I'd never even considered what the other implication of that, where I was saying like, Oh, I think it's stupid that people are like, like. Homophobic and everything, because everybody's kind of in the middle. Right. And she was like, are you, I think you are just admitting something.
Speaker:This might be on your side.
Speaker 3:Yeah. But it's, it's one of those things where, and instead of me being like, no, no, yeah, that's just what, instead of doubling down and being like, yeah, maybe you haven't found the right one. Oh my God. When someone who knows, more about something than you, says something back to you, you should listen, right? You should listen to that. You, it's usually the best. Maybe that's the problem with the entirety of the internet though, is refusing to listen to people who actually know what they're talking about.
Speaker:Especially like their own Body, like people talking about their own experiences like that's, that's where it's really interesting when someone would be like, no, that didn't happen. And you're like, it did.
Speaker 2:That's not true.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker:Oh, I'm being gaslit as we speak.
Speaker 3:Yes. I'm sorry. You were misled by yourself. I'm sorry. You're
Speaker:misled by your own experience, but I know this
Speaker 3:feels sad for me, but it's really sad for you. You've gone all these years thinking. This lived experience of yours is, is wow. You've really gaslit yourself to be able to continue to believe it after experiencing it continuously for the whole of your life.
Speaker:It's just, it's, it's very interesting. And like, there's also like, I think so many men think, well, one, they think they know more than women, but also like have this crippling fear Of being corrected by women.
Speaker 4:Right. And
Speaker:so they'll just double it. Like, like he's like, you told me I, you made fun of me because I was wrong. It's like, she thought you were being ridiculous. Like you're fighting with her about her own anatomy. That's, that was what was funny. But I, I really do think a lot of men like cannot handle critique. So they'll just keep doubling. No, no, no. Trust me. I have this one anecdotal story that proves I'm right and you're wrong. I don't care what side it says.
Speaker 3:And like, everybody can feel like, doesn't like nobody likes feeling stupid or being corrected, but it's the era. It's this, uh, which ties back into patriarchal misogynistic culture. Of it's no, but being wrong as a weakness. And I can't show weakness to someone that I consider to be weaker than me.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 3:I can't, I cannot, I cannot concede an argument to someone that I view as less than, because if I do, that would mean that. I'm the one that's that's weaker that I actually I'm not the dominant one
Speaker 4:in
Speaker 3:this situation. And that's all. And that's not, you know, it's all underlying. It's all structural components of it's hidden. They may not have realized that's what's happening, but that's absolutely what's happening.
Speaker:I have had so many dudes like correct me incorrectly. Like in conversation. I remember one time I was telling a story and like there was two people with similar names Like they're the same last name and a similar first name and both of these people had come up within the story and I was telling a story about one and He was like, oh you mean this person and I was like, no, I mean the first person's like no No, no, that's not what their name is. And I'm like, okay Yes, yes it is. And he's like, it, it was like a work meeting and he did it again. And I was like, you're talking about two people. Let me, this is one person, the blah, blah, blah, blah, and he does this, this and that, and I'm talking about this separate person who's a teacher and he does blah, blah, blah. He's like, Hmm, God. Like he literally, he corrected me. Agree to disagree. Agree to, yeah, exactly. I was like, I hate
Speaker 2:that so much. No, this is not, this is a. Objective fact, we're talking about, this is not a
Speaker:Yeah, he corrected me like three times. And there's been other times where someone will like throw off a statistic or something and I'm like, Um, I don't think that's right. But that's the other thing is like, I've, I notice a lot in like professional settings, men are very comfortable, more toxic men than, than men in general, but, um, are very comfortable just throwing shit out there, even if they're not positive. Even if they're pretty sure. Whereas I found women are so much more careful about what they say. They very, like, want to make sure they're not saying the wrong thing. They want to make sure, like, if they're going to use a statistic, they want to make sure it's right. Like, I've seen women in arguments in work settings with men, where the man is, Absolutely incorrect, like just categorically, but he is so confident in, in, in his incorrect statement that she will back off because she wants to make sure she can back up her argument. And I think that just comes from like women knowing if they mess up, it's going to be held against them much more intensely than men messing up in the workplace. But it's so interesting because I would like be, be in meetings where men would just say ridiculous things and I'd be like, Um, pretty sure that's not correct. I'll here, let me give you an example of a ridiculous thing. I once heard a lot of the people who were the heads of the company, they're older men, they're old school. And like, they reminded me of the guys who were cool in high school. And didn't realize high school was over. You know what I mean? Just like that's, I'm still cool. I know everything and like the younger staff was like, um, Like you may not know everything. So the head of the company once came to a meeting and he was a hundred percent serious. He was like, hey, I have heard of this really interesting trend that's happening. It's really new. Um, I feel like we could do something with this, maybe pitch a series. Did you know that there are women now who will ask out men first? Women who are making the first move. And this was not, this was a couple years back. This was not, this was not the 1920s. This was not, Hey, dames are out there asking the men these days. They're getting on their horses and buggies. And there's
Speaker 3:this brand new thing called feminism,
Speaker:but he pitched it. As like a show as if it was so revolutionary, we should do a show on it. And everyone's like, um, I think, I think that's been going on. I don't think that's what you think is our like, no, no, no,
Speaker 3:no, no, no. This is new.
Speaker:And everyone's like, Oh yeah, of course. And you're like, no, or like a girl or I should say a woman, a woman would pitch an idea and it would be get nothing. And then. I would watch men literally repeat the women, like repeat almost verbatim. And then they're like that, that, that right there. Now that's thinking. And the woman's like, I just said that, just said that. Uh, but it's just interesting. Like, I don't know. It's very interesting. The ways. Just like the patriarchy and sexism and misogyny have impacted even people's ability to speak up for themselves, to voice their ideas, to take criticism, or to silence themselves for fear of criticism or for fear of what speaking up might mean. Even in like professional, or like relationships, like, I, I,
Speaker 4:I,
Speaker:I mean, I can't even tell you, Chesca, how many dudes I dated that would say stuff that I was like, no, no, no, that's not, that's not a thing. That's not a thing. And part
Speaker 3:of, it's part of the reason I won't go on to, um, Like I've been invited on a bunch of these like douche bro podcasts, at least five or six of them. I've invited them. They just wanted to, yeah, they, they want to debate me, but it's like, there's, and I've talked about this before, like, and this is, I'm, you know, I've, I coached speech and debate for 10 years, over 10 years. I'm not afraid to argue with somebody, but there's, there's literally no, winning. I guess they're not educating. I don't think there will be any value to anyone. They would cut the clips and be so confident in what they said. And they would post videos of them being wrong. And their followers would be like, look at we, as we own this feminist, lib, lib, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And, and. And it's all it would do, all it would be would be the reaffirming that they were right and they should, nobody should listen to me because I'm wrong and there's, there's no reason I would ever go on there and it would make them money, right? It would be a, it would be an episode for them to see, for people to see them dunking on me with information that's wrong.
Speaker:It's always wrong. It's always so like, it's, it's made up stats. It's, you know, studies about monkeys that they're using. It's. Aside from the editing and like the way that they would frame it and you know, they're always got gotcha, you know, they're always trying to screw you in some way. Well, I don't, you know, as we know, a lot of those really alpha males have some of that going on that maybe they, I don't know what their interests are, but, um, they're trying to get you. But it's also the fact of like, they're not seeking to understand. They don't want to understand. They literally, there's nothing you could say to really get them because the problem with those pages are. They literally can't move, they can't change, they can't grow because then they'll lose their following. Like then they'd, like, their following doesn't want to hear that.
Speaker 3:No,
Speaker:they have to be so like, you know, they don't even believe half the things they say Like you look at those fresh and fit guys, right?
Speaker 3:Especially the guys that are like you could tell are actually intelligent Yeah, and they're like stop this Knock it off.
Speaker:Well the fresh and fit guys like they're like, you know, you like careful with women You don't don't date instagram models. You don't get them pregnant You're a provider family and then one of them gets an instagram model pregnant and wants her to terminate said pregnancy You Like, they don't believe the things that they're saying. They're saying it for, so it's like, there's not even a way to have an authentic conversation with them. There's not a way, like, they're not seeking to understand. They're not seeking to change. They're seeking to do some kind of gotcha. And like, I saw a clip, I think it's because I react to so many of them, but like, it was like, so and so owns a feminist creator or whatever, and she absolutely obliterated him. Like, Like even in the clip in the clip. I
Speaker 3:know I I've seen I don't know if it's the same glass the girl with the glasses
Speaker:dark. I don't know, but I've seen
Speaker 3:multiple ones of it before. Yeah.
Speaker:And it's like, you don't even have the ability to like to understand what you're saying. Watch content. You're like, Oh, yeah, I got this one. Or they'll just put music underneath it and think that that's going to change the tone. You know, it's just, it's really, really, um, it's really bizarre.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You have to be willing to do what they're doing back to them. And there's, there's, I've seen it done. Like I've seen, uh, there's this, I don't know if you've ever heard of destiny before. He's like this debate. I have issues with this. But he's gone on there and, and dunked on them good, but he's, he's willing to kind of play that he's, he's smart enough that he can, like, basically he doesn't have to, to go down an actual philosophical debate route. He can kind of play their game back with them. Yeah. Um, I that's, and I, I know that's, I need a person that's willing to have a conversation.
Speaker:I know Destiny's has some bad views. I can't think of them right now. So this is not a pro Destiny podcast. There's times where cockiness. Works in people's favor like because destiny I think he's cocky You know, he seems to kind of be he kind of seems maybe just a little bit of shit disturber I don't know, but he's he's not easily moved, you know, so like when they say things that are outlandish or offensive like He, he doesn't really react to that. Um, because of just the way that he carries himself. He's like, no, you're dumb, whatever. Um, and I think that stems from kind of, I feel like he has an ego and that, that can work to your favor in a debate, right? You have like, Drew, right? So his is, I think, ego. You have like, Drew, who, she genuinely does not give a fuck what these men think. Genuinely, which causes them to unravel. So she can debate really well because she does not give a fuck what they say. So she does not care. So if, if they throw out like mean, you know, um, uh, incendiary or like purposely trying to start shit with her. She's like, I don't care about you.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, you mean, you mean nothing to me? Uh, go talk to your mom. But the problem I have is that if somebody says something like truly offensive. Or like, egregious, like, I am impacted by that, like, I have to take a second. Um, which is why, like, I don't think I would do well, because you have to remember Aside from all the things we've already mentioned, which is like, they're not trying to understand, they're not trying to have a good faith debate, they just want content, generally speaking. Uh, there's also the issue of like, the bar for them is so low as to like, like what they'll say to you. Like what they're willing to say, how much they're willing to upset you. Cause the point is like, most of the time, I feel like they want to say something to like throw you off.
Speaker 3:Well, especially when it can, like, there was, there was a podcast, one of the ones that asked me to come on eventually, they devoted a 20 minute section of their video to, uh, It was, it was, and this was a, a very conservative Christian podcast. Um, it was a man and a woman that were devoted to the video about my wife, where I, uh, teared up about, uh, you know, and they were. outraged that, uh, they were like, this, uh, this is what's wrong with masculinity in the world. Really? Look at this. They, it was, they, but, but the only reason they disagreed with it was because of my platform being Like if the fact that I'm anti a lot of the stuff that the other stuff that I agree with. And so because of the fact that they already knew that they disliked me, this video, they had to also disagree with it. Couldn't be like, Oh, well maybe this is something that actually falls in line with what we value that you should love and cherish your partner and you grow with them. And that would, if it was, if I was a, Conservative male that, I mean, I am a male If I was a conservative guy, conservative male. Yeah. Yeah. If I was a conservative person that was making this video about how horrible it is that people don't stay married and it was anti-D divorce or something, or something like, or about the flag or something. Yeah. If I, if I pride about the flag Yeah. That they made it coded conservative, then it would've been okay. But because it was this value that should theoretically align is one of the things that should have aligned with what they said. It had to be bad and it had to be critiqued to the point where they put it on their show. It's almost like they, there, there are things, it's bizarre. Like the example would be a great one would be Jordan Peterson. Right. 90% of what he says is bs. We've talked about it before. Yeah. But then there's 10% of what he says that is just general. Okay. Knowledge. Disagree. Disagree with that. Yeah. So would be good too. Learn thing. It's like the most generic advice.
Speaker:I'll tell you, he's starting to unravel. I think he's, his content's gotten a little more cuckoo. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I've noticed that too, but I can, I'm not going to then try to find a way to pick apart the something that I actually agree with this generic advice that is not political, not sexist, not like there, there is every single person on earth has 10%, at least something they say that is not crucial, but when you get to the point where. You hate the person saying it more than you that you can't even compute that you agree with what they're saying. Then that, that's where it gets to the point where it like, you can't debate with them anymore. Cause no matter what I say, I can't even find a common ground to convince them. Hey, we might have something in common that we want to talk about here. No, they're going to, because they're going to, they're going to shift it. The, the, the person's going to move and you're wrong again. Here's why you're wrong. And it's all about just beating me.
Speaker:And that's it. Yeah. That's the other thing is like, I would have conversations in real life like that. No problem. But again, it's like, it's the way that they're framing it. Like, they're never going to be honest about why they're having you on. They're never going to be honest in what they're talking about. They're always trying to get you. The people that are like that online. Are almost never like that in real life. Like in the sense of like, if you were to actually debate them, like person to person, they would crumble. Like if, you know, fresh and fit, if they didn't have all those girls around them and their little podcasts, like no way. I mean, you saw him getting absolutely unhinged over this, this whole controversy where he's like, screaming into the mic, you're like, Whoa, buddy, buddy, that's a lot of emotions. I thought we were against emotions on this podcast.
Speaker 3:This is an extreme example, but I know someone who. Met Andrew Tate when he was younger. And, and she, this is right when he, right. When he's, he's like. Gross star started to rise. I made a video stitching. Yeah, and she was like, I'm shocked I I met him a few years ago at a at a thing and he was the sweetest nicest person I don't like he was so respectful and and genuine and and then all of a sudden But it was what made him money is he had to have this persona of and and at a certain point then you start believing your Own bullshit. Yeah, right like he might have started off as a money making scheme. I genuinely do believe He believes the crappies peddling. Oh, yeah, a lot of them do. Yeah. Yeah, but you're right off camera though. They can be very civil. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, we're gonna we're gonna talk about this. Oh, they will.
Speaker:But yeah,
Speaker 3:yeah,
Speaker:or but you know, that's actually happened to people in interviews because I've known people who have gone on shows. Um, and. It started that way, like they were really nice to them and then the cameras came on and they were just attacked and they're like, what the hell?
Speaker 3:That's part of the, also part of a way to catch you off guard. Yeah.
Speaker:Even like Pearl, like there are people who knew Pearl before she was the Pearl she is now, like angry reactions dated her. Yeah, they used to
Speaker 2:date, yeah. And
Speaker:like they, like they all say she was just like a very normal person. She just was an average.
Speaker 3:She was trying to make it as a content creator. And then she realized, Oh, this is a way to get views. This is going to get me money.
Speaker:It's like, you, you know, you sell your soul, right? Like that's, that's what it is. Like, you know, I, I don't, I try to avoid going after women because it's not the focus, like, I mean, on my page and stuff, it's just not my focus. I think people go after women enough. I will comment on it if it's not. Um, but I try and stay in my lane with that a little bit, but, um, you know, it's like those type of women, they always get their comeuppance like the people that are in alignment with these things, people that support these things. It's like, especially women, because it's like, you're going to pay for that. You're, you're, you're aligning yourself with people that are openly against you.
Speaker 3:Even if you're the
Speaker:best girl. I always call it like the best girl of all the girls. They hate all the women. I guess they would say girl, you know, you're the best woman of all the women. You're still beneath them. There's still subservient to them. They still want you to clean their dirty drawers. You know, at the end of the day,
Speaker 3:that part of the Internet, there's a lot of money to be made. I remember. Oh, my God. It's all men. But
Speaker:yes, yeah, when
Speaker 3:somebody says to me, like, oh, yeah, you're only saying this to get to make money to get views. I'm like, I could make so much money. If, if I were to go the opposite route. I know we've talked about this. You do switch. Yeah. If I just, all of a sudden like, ha ha, now debt's paid off.
Speaker:It's so interesting to me how many women pretend to make content for women. That's actually for men like Pearl. She's always talking to women. But she's never actually talking to women. And I just look at them and I'm like, one, I don't like what you're doing obviously, but it's like You do realize you're hurting yourself Like you're only hurting yourself. You're hurting other women. You'll never be accepted. You'll never be even seen as an equal, the bare minimum. And at the, the first chance they get, they're gonna, they're gonna attack you. There's like, who's the girl that sings, um, oh, what's that? What's that creator's name?
Speaker 3:Francesca Ramsey.
Speaker:It is. It's Francesca Ramsey.
Speaker 3:Oh, so I was right. Okay.
Speaker:Where she, and she's like playing the ukulele guitar or whatever it is. And she's like, I didn't think the leopards would eat my face. It's like, yes, 100%. That's what's going to happen when, when they have proven themselves to be anti women. And they like when you're anti woman, like the leopards will eat your face
Speaker 3:and the amount of time because I'll get I'll get accused of doing the opposite version, right? Like we're only women care about what you are saying and like, oh, blah, like, you know, like, oh, they're not going to pick you, bro. You know, the whole Mr. Pick me thing. And then the amount of times I have to explain, and I've had quite a few guys. That people think that, oh guys aren't going to ever listen to you. But I've had quite a few guys that I've gone back and forth with for a while, where I, when I finally break down why what I'm saying benefits them, that, that they're still like, you could tell they're not sure what to do with that information.
Speaker:100%. I've had that too. But there's that
Speaker 3:moment of like, okay.
Speaker:It's like a stalemate.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I need to look, I need to look more into this then or something like that. But I'm like, no, this is, I'm saying, and that was the, I made the video the other day. I was like, I, I want, I want my son to also have a good future. Like, I want him to be able to feel things. I want him to be, uh, you know, have a happy life. I'm not just saying this. Cause I'm like, I hate all men. And I want men to suffer. Like I'm a man. I went to my wife to be good. But there's that disconnect of like, yeah. That, that when I, even when I explain why it benefits men, they're still like, but you're using the word masculine and masculine
Speaker 4:masculinity.
Speaker 3:Oh, you said toxic masculinity. That means toxic men. That means all men. That means you hate men. Like, no.
Speaker:Quite the leap. Quite the leap there.
Speaker 3:There's so much more, but that's the methodology. It's like, I'm, it's a, this team, uh, thing of like, Oh, it has to be men versus women as opposed to, No, no, there's a system here. We talked about this last week. That is, is harming everyone.
Speaker:Everybody.
Speaker 3:And it's, and it's mainly pushed though. It is mainly pushed and maintained by men. But it's hurting. Yeah,
Speaker:it's a system. Well, and that's the interesting thing is like the women's content, like the Perlis esque type content is specifically aimed at men and. Everything about it is putting women down, harming women, like, making women less than, taking rights away. Like, she literally at one point said women shouldn't vote. Like, it's crazy, right? But your content should be for everyone. It should be something everybody would take interest in because it's about helping everyone. It's about breaking down systems that harm everyone. It's about talking about, like, toxicity. And people who are harming like everyone as a whole and the fact that it's a majority of women that listen to that content Just shows that so many men are unwilling to address or even look at
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker:What's, what's going, like, the issues within themselves, but more importantly, the issue in the system that they're a part of. Because you're rarely talking about just the men themselves, you're talking about the system. And the fact that they can't even hear you talk about toxic men without relating it back to themselves showcases the fact that they believe toxicity and men are inherently the same.
Speaker 4:Mm hmm.
Speaker:That's the crazy part, because we're the ones saying, no. We don't think that. I mean, how many times a podcast, if I did a, like a, uh, what do you call that? A highlight reel or whatever, a super cut of me saying toxic men, not all men. It would be probably an hour long because I constantly am trying to make it clear that I, I love men. I have so many great, like my, I have mentors that are men. I have friends that are men. I respect so many men in my life because I've seen how amazing men can be just like all genders. Um, It's not us that are saying it's all men. It really is.
Speaker 3:I hate that we have to coddle it so like them so much though with the whole just you're telling me. I know, I know, I know. I'm not, I'm not like, did you know how much this sucks for me, Regan, where I have to
Speaker:Gosh, I really, no, no, I mean,
Speaker 3:I agree. The whole not all men thing. It's like, you shouldn't have to, like, it's obvious. Yeah. I've always, I always, it's so clear. Like, I'll go back and forth. I'm like, I'm like, you know, that this is not about. All men, right? You have to know they're like, no, they're saying everything. Like, no, you don't believe, even believe that, like, you don't believe that they are saying that every single man in existence is a horrific monster. What they're saying is there's a, it's, it feels like that though. Yeah. And that's an except they're saying it, that there's, there's right now because of the fact that you are hearing them complain about this horrific injustice or this horrible thing they went through. And all you're hearing is, Well, but i'm not I didn't do it but me why are you doing that to me if that's what you're hearing you're proving the point you're
Speaker:Let me tell you I did one video about the This was the tree one. I did videos on mandrake bear too, but When this one guy did the tree video and I literally lay out i'm like If you don't get it by now, you're not going to so this isn't for you So I set a boundary right and then I lay out like here's why this is a problem here's why this argument is a problem like I wasn't attacking men. I mean, I don't do that. You know, I was just simply saying like, here's why this is problematic. And like, uh, here's, here's why women are upset by it. Like, just like, and mainly I was talking to women themselves, like about like why it was ridiculous. Um, but I was, I was, Very much, you know, line by line explaining it, like why, why it's a problem what these men are saying, right? I have never had so many men in my, hold on, let me, we can end on this, I guess, uh, but hold on, let me pull it up, the things that men have said to me. Like one guy, I no longer care what psychopaths do to a feminist. I really don't care.
Speaker 3:Yeah. What? Let me, let me add on. There was a guy that wrote on my, uh, video I made about a similar topic where he said, you know, we, you don't understand. I did care until it felt like women were blaming me and now I don't care at all. Yes. And that's the basic, it's like, no, you didn't care that. And that's, we've talked about that before. You don't, you don't do kind things. You don't treat other people. Well, simply because. They're, they're praising you for it. If that's the only, if the second you get pushed back, the second you get negative negativity back to you and you, you like, fine, I'm done. I'm no longer, you didn't, then you didn't care. You didn't actually care. Like any parent can give you this a very pretty clear example with your children. Like you, you do good things for them because you love them, right? Because you care about them. They are not. Usually not going to give you praise. Thanks and praise for the good things you're doing for them. Right. But that also is, it comes back to real life. We see that over and over where they're like, well, I'm not going to help you because I, I, cause you're not giving me my prize. You're not giving me my trophy. And that means you, you didn't actually care about it. That's what it comes down to.
Speaker:Well, if you're doing something quote unquote, nice only because you want something out of it, it, as, as, as. As in some type of unspoken exchange. And then when you don't get that, you revoke niceness. Then guess what? Uh, you're not being nice. Period. Yeah, I mean, I have all these guys like, just like, you know, they're like attacking me saying I don't care about men and I don't care about men's mental health and, you know, it's just like, just like the complete inability to like, hear what women are saying. Like, like the obtuseness of it all. Because like, to your point. At what point do we recognize, like, you can't be this obtuse? You have to know what you're doing. When I, like, I shouldn't have to say, which I still do, I shouldn't have to say every single time, especially when describing a toxic behavior, I shouldn't have to label that. Like, like, I shouldn't be more worried about saying it the wrong way than you're worried about the actual behavior. That's what's crazy. It's crazy. There's more emphasis on like packaging it perfectly to not upset men. So they'll hear us. Like, I just, I'll, I'll end on this, but like, like even the other day I needed a guy. It's actually happened with two different men. Um, I'm in the midst of something where there was this creep back in the day, and he was trying to be a part of the community again, and we were speaking out about our experiences about said man, and there were two different men who were, We had to interact with that, like, either had, had authority in the situation or knew what he did. We're present and we're aware of what this man had done. And I remember, like, I had, I spoke to both of them, and I felt like I felt myself literally catering to them, being extra nice to them, being extra calm with them, as I'm basically, you know, talking about a very upsetting subject, trying to get them to do the right fucking thing. That they know, they both knew what the right fucking thing was. One of them did do the right thing, by the way. But like, I still felt the need to cater to them, and like, in my own head, I knew, if If they like me and they think I like them they are more willing to do the right thing and that's really sad I shouldn't have to cater to men to help me protect other people from bad men Like that's it. I don't know. I just have been thinking about that I was like damn like why did I have to like I literally was like Okay. Yeah, sure. No, I know like like literally like I know you're not bad I know you're not a bad one, but please help me
Speaker 3:It comes down because you're, you know, they're not going to listen to you unless you, you, they feel placated in, in, in this, they feel that the whole, and it's, I think it goes back to full circle to why it's so important also for like, even just with content online, where you need more men to speak up about these things. Sort of things because they're so stuck that if it comes out of the body of a woman, if the messages presented them from a woman, I'm not going to listen to a single thing you have to say, right? Unless you play it perfectly and build me up and get me to the point where I will listen to you. I'm just going to completely shut you out. Right. And that's every time I make any video, I'll get comments from guys, especially when they go viral. They're like, well, it's not our job to solve the problems of women. Right. Because they don't understand that it's not a like men harming women is not a woman's problem.
Speaker 4:Right. Right.
Speaker 3:And when I when I point out like that's an us, that's a men's problem. This is the reason why you guys are so upset about women not wanting to be approached in public places. Is the reason why you're so upset about women not wanting to spend time alone with you or to go on whatever it is you want to do is because. Of us, right? And even if you're not the one, and that's it. One guy was like, Oh, you're admitting something that you do. I'm like, no, you fucking yeah. It's not another F word. Yeah. I'm like, do you not understand? Like this is an us problem. It's not fixing the problem of women. It's fixing the problem of men. And until you, if you're not willing to step up, you don't get to complain about it. You don't get to complain about the results of that, of, of our problem. If you're not willing to do something to fix it.
Speaker:And then ironically. Well, we say, well, that's a woman's problem, you know, I'm not getting involved now because you don't even, you, you, you don't even want, you want equal rights, so we're not going to help you, right? That's like the argument now. And, on the same breath, those are the same guys that are like, well, men's mental health, that's a you problem, like the ones that attack me in my comment section. Which was. By the way, everyone, I very much give a shit about men's mental health. I give a shit about everyone's mental health. Like, I am a part of trainings to help people understand mental health issues. Like, this, this is very much an important topic to me. But if mental health issues are only at the forefront on the conversation when they're trying to distract
Speaker 3:from a
Speaker:women's conversation, Then that's a problem, right?
Speaker 3:If you're weaponizing mental health to silence somebody else.
Speaker:Yep
Speaker 3:That's not about mental health and it never was about mental health.
Speaker:You would be shocked. Well, you probably wouldn't be well You might be shocked. I don't know. I was like that probably doesn't happen in your comment section this way like how many men were absolutely like Unloading all this trauma on me and being like, like, I mean like traumatic events that happened to them, um, and, and saying like facts on, on Aliving, like all this stuff and being like, like if, expect, I don't know what they expect from me. I don't know what they expect me to say to that. Uh, just because I said, hey, we should focus on women when we're talking about an issue of women's safety. Like, it's so unhinged, and um, it just gets very frustrating as a woman when like, the very important content of what I'm saying is constantly being shifted. Just because I focus on women does not mean I don't care about men. Just because I'm centering women in a conversation does not mean men do not matter. And I feel like that's the takeaway for toxic men. Like at any point, if women are centered and focused on, they're like, well, what about us? It's like, both can exist. Both, both are like, all of these, all, all of these conversations are important. But again, it's the fact that you only, Bring it up and you only seem to want to publicly talk about like the way I would the way I would phrase it is You are only being vulnerable when you are using vulnerability as a weapon You are only sharing your trauma right now with a stranger on the internet because you want to make me feel like shit
Speaker 4:And
Speaker:that is not vulnerability, and that is not, that is not sharing your emotions. That's weaponizing your experiences in order to silence me from sharing my own. And I think that's the difference is we need to be able to communicate. Like I want men to share their feelings. I want men to feel open to do that. I want men to communicate, but. If you're only being vulnerable when it's being weaponized to silence women, or control women, or manipulate women, then that's not really you being vulnerable, that's just a weaponization of your emotions.
Speaker 3:And that's, that's where the, the disconnect constantly comes up where it's, Oh, that's why I can't share my emotions with, uh, with my, and it's always because, well, let's look at how you shared them and it's not, it's not why you should, I guess, why not how, I guess. I don't know. That, that sounds more like tone policing. But why? Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. But like, why did you do it? Did it come up simply because you were being criticized for something? And now you are using this as a way to make that, you know, to, to take away from having any ownership of something you might've done that was wrong. Or are you actually just like, Hey, I'm I'm really feeling bad. I need someone to support me. If someone's weaponizing that against you, then yeah, they are in the wrong.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:But nobody is denying that. Nobody's arguing against that. And there are people that do that, right? And, but it's, they can't, they only will focus on that very specific niche situation and never ever admit that maybe they are not Actually caring about that. That there's, there's more to, I don't want to actually solve this situation. I want to win the situation. It goes back to that competition aspect. I need to be the one that is allowed to feel something. I don't want you to do that though.
Speaker:And I, I mean, I think we, so the last episode I did on, um, My other episode of the nice guy podcast was crazy shit men say to me on the internet. I think I might've talked about this on there. I'm not, I'm like, when did I say what I, what I said, but, um, there is this, uh, expectation, I think of these men, like one that they have the right to like, Throw their emotions on women on the internet and either the women need to be their therapist despite having no real I don't know who these men are. I've never met these. I don't know you but you want to unload on me That either they're gonna be your therapist or you know that it's gonna be That I don't, I don't engage with that and they're like, see, I told you women don't care.
Speaker 3:Case in point. Case in
Speaker:point. When I unloaded my trauma on this random girl on the internet on her video, She didn't give me therapy and she doesn't care. It's like, I do care, but the way that you're going about this is so inappropriate. I think it really showcases how men see women because in my opinion, this is a Purposefully a way to silence women by doing this and what it, what it weaponizes and what it's based in is the knowledge that women do care. That women very much do care, like generally speaking women have been taught to prioritize men's feelings.
Speaker 4:Hopefully
Speaker:you've unpacked that. We're all trying, but like, that is what we've learned. So when a man comes in your comment section and says, well, think about men, I'm hurting. Here's my trauma. And you know, starts attacking you for being a quote unquote, bad person, that that's going to shut a woman up because God forbid a woman be a quote unquote, bad person, a quote unquote, unempathetic woman. I mean, I was called villainous. Because I did this and it's like they are weaponizing that because they know that women have been raised to believe they're responsible for men Emotion that men's emotions and that if they're not nice to men if they don't listen If they don't react the way they should that they are not almost like not good people but not good women The fact that they attack me in this way and women on the internet in this way makes it clear to me that they Are very aware Of the dynamics of the patriarchy and that's, if anything, these comments only ever prove our point even more.
Speaker 3:And coming full circle, they're very aware of the meaning of shitty underwear being given to your partner.
Speaker:Talk about symbolism.
Speaker 3:Metaphorical shitty underwear.
Speaker:Okay, I mean, I really, I mean, that's what it feels like.
Speaker 3:You're not responsible for cleaning the, for cleaning the shitty drawers in your comments.
Speaker:Oh, that's, you know what? That's exactly how I'm going to think about it from here on out. Well, we've talked long enough. I, God, how long have we been talking? I don't know, like
Speaker 2:three hours, something like that, two and a half hours. Yeah.
Speaker:All right. Well, thank you so much, friends, for listening. As you know, we have a Patreon, so please check that out. It's really helpful. You've heard our inside jokes from there. We put the pre show on there, which is us talking for God knows how long before each show. Way too long. We also are putting our episodes up on YouTube if you want to see our faces. I don't know if you do. I don't know if you do or don't. But uh, you can see us and all of our ridiculous expressions on YouTube. We have What else, Chesco? Am I missing something? Instagram. That's happening.
Speaker 3:And, um, a merch, merch shop.
Speaker:We got some merch. We'll probably be adding to that.
Speaker 3:Mm hmm.
Speaker:We're, we're, we're putting things into the works. We want
Speaker 3:We got stuff going on. Yeah.
Speaker:We got stuff going on. We want you to be a part of it. So, thank you for listening, everyone. And, Chesco, um, Any like professions to our viewers you want to give?
Speaker 3:I love you.
Speaker:There it is. We have gotten remarks. If Jessica doesn't say it.
Speaker 3:I do love you all so much. You complete me. I don't know what I'd do without you.
Speaker:Oh my god. It's so intense in here right now. I also love you all. Um, I don't know if I'm going to do like Jerry Maguire quotes.
Speaker 2:Stop that. They don't care about that. I
Speaker:don't want them to think. I don't want to be the other. I feel like we're parents, the parents of the podcast. I don't want to be the one, the distant, the distant parent. That's like, you're all right. No, I also love you. Need to up my oversharing game, I guess. Jesus. All right. We'll talk to you all later. Bye.
Speaker 2:Bye.