Thrive Again - Your relationship podcast

Creating a Path to Unity: The Future Vision

• Michael & Amy • Season 1 • Episode 38

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The bliss of initial romance is so often followed by the drudgery of parallel lives. Work, kids, stress, finances, arguments... Without a map in hand, your relationship can become aimless and chaotic, and you will engage in random, stopgap behaviours to cope with your problems and conflicts. Most likely, the relationship you now have is a creation of your separate desires and needs. You and your partner are trying to bring your individual dreams into reality, to your mutual frustration. You have no common, expressed relationship dream.

But working together intentionally on a relationship vision turns your energy away from past and present disappointments toward a more hopeful future, the future you want to create. A shared vision synthesizes separate dreams, desires, values and needs. This joint creation becomes your conscious dream and your new reality.

This episode of Thrive Again tackles the all-too-common scenario of couples feeling disconnected over time. Michael and Amy share a transformative activity that prompts you to sit down and get curious about each other's dreams, goals, and desires. By creating a shared vision, you can navigate the complexities of life together and steer your relationship back on course.

Tune in to hear compelling personal stories and client breakthroughs that illustrate the power of having a "relationship map." Discover how to rekindle your connection and strengthen your bond through a simple yet effective exercise. Whether you're feeling a growing distance or just want to fortify your relationship, this episode is packed with insights to transition from merely surviving to truly thriving together. Get ready to chart a new, unified course in your love life!

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Speaker 1:

1, 2, 3, 4 couples and singles who want to unlock their relationship potential and reconnect on a deeper, more meaningful soul level. We share insights, client breakthroughs and personal stories to help move your relationship from surviving to thriving.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to another episode of Thrive Again, your relationship podcast. My name is Michael and I've got Amy next to me. How are you, amy?

Speaker 1:

I'm very good, thank you.

Speaker 2:

That's good that's good.

Speaker 2:

We're here now on another episode and we want to make this quick and fast and really helpful for you. If you are experiencing in your relationship like you're in two different lanes and maybe it's been like that for a while, and I want you just to remember, maybe back to when you started in your relationship and things might have been a little dreamier than what they are now. There could have been a lot of dopamine and serotonin, all the the happy hormones flowing through you, and oxytocin and all the good stuff that helps you to feel connected. But what happens after six months, one year, when life starts to get busy, the staleness starts to come in, the monotony, you know, and then the conflict comes and you still need to, you know, think about work, but then maybe family comes in and priorities change and and we shift and we end up becoming kind of like two islands, sometimes within this vast ocean, and sometimes it's almost like we're just going in separate directions and the relationship ends up coming out second best yeah, that's a pretty common scenario.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure a lot of our listeners can probably relate to that, and it's funny, isn't it? Um, I guess why that happens. Um, well, it's not so funny, but I guess it's more like reflecting on this how easy that can happen. You know, because we we don't often sit down and talk about our dreams or our goals or what our future, you know, relationship wants to be like, or where we're heading, and we just get stuck into life. You know.

Speaker 1:

But I feel like what we're going to share with you guys today is just a quick, little simple activity that can help bring you back on track. It can really help to steer the ship in the same direction and not feel so disconnected or or disjointed in the relationship, because my needs and desires and and wishes for our relationship is probably very different from yours, but we don't discuss them usually. So this is what we're encouraging you to do in this episode is to actually start to sit down and get really curious about some of the things that you want in your ideal relationship, because how can we create something if we don't have a plan, if we don't have a vision, if we don't have a mud map to at least know which direction we're going to be heading in together, because I think that's a really key part of any relationship.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, and you know, my son and I just recently went on a hike and, yeah, we went to an island. It's fairly big and you can kind of get lost on it and I kind of, when I was out there, I was thinking about how, if we didn't have a map, we'd mostly be just guessing where we're going and we wouldn't really have any direction and so we would probably feel like we're lost and that we're not really anchored into anything. But when we had a map and when we looked at the map, we could get reference of where we are and where we want to. The map we could get reference of where we are and where we want to get to. And that's actually what this session is about so you can actually understand the map.

Speaker 2:

Therefore, you can navigate the terrain with a shared vision, right, with a mutual vision, and both of you agree on that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, it's a pretty powerful session. We offer this with our couples that we work with, so we thought we'd just give some value to you guys and and share this with you as well. Um, but having this, it's amazing watching the couples, isn't it that when we do this process, um, I think for a lot of couples that obviously come to see us, they are very disconnected and not in a great space, but after this session they can just kind of see the light again. They're like oh, you want what I want and I want what you want, and why are we so disjointed and disconnected and why can't we just be on this same path? So it's a really, really powerful practice and we're sharing this with you guys as our audience to give you some value, really, of what you can take away from this session.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so it's taking your energy away from the present problems and disappointments that you experience in your relationship and moving you both towards a hopeful future. So this infuses hope for those who feel lost.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. So should we dive into what?

Speaker 2:

it is, let's do it.

Speaker 1:

So this practice or this exercise is all about creating your ideal love relationship. What is it actually that you want in your relationship? And firstly, the first step is to sit separately and actually kind of come up with some sentences, some parts of what you would see, what you would feel, how you would be interacting with your partner right, if your ideal relationship was coming to fruition.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So some of the things you might ask yourself to prompt this is how do you feel towards each other? So, remember, we're projecting into the future. So how do you feel towards each other? What do you do together? What's your sex life like? Do you trust each other? How do you relate to each other around money? What about parenting? If you have children, what does that look like? Are you supportive of each other? These are some prompts that will help you, and the idea is is that you separately write down in present tense sentences that are really short and impactful. Right, we cook dinners together frequently. We trust each other.

Speaker 1:

We laugh together so, having those short statements, there's a purpose for those as well. And um, we like to reflect on on how you know our neurology works and how our unconscious and our conscious mind works. And even though they're you're like we can't do that, we can't communicate clearly and openly, that's not something that we have. So writing it down like that it might actually be challenging, but there's a reason why we do that and it's remember we're creating our ideal future vision of what you're creating and what you're working towards. So just let go of it. If it's like, oh, I can't do that, let go of that and just trust the process that we're taking you through today, just to help you to start to, like Michael said, rewire and focus on what you do want, not all the bad things and the negative things that are happening in your relationship. So doing this can can sometimes be a little bit confronting, but I think it's very, very healthy process to reflect and get really clear on what you're wanting and bring that into your life instead cool.

Speaker 2:

So in terms of time frame, we're looking at about four minutes for you to just jot frantically on a piece of paper both of you at the same time, ideally just what you desire in this relationship and then, once you've done that, it's pens down and you literally are going to read to each other what your visions are so the goal of this is obviously to be sitting together.

Speaker 1:

You know, this could be, um, sometimes a little bit challenging if you're feeling upset or annoyed or frustrated with your partner, but set an intention that this is an exercise that you can do to bring you guys closer, to bring you back together without that friction or frustration, because it's important to look at what you are wanting and come in alignment with that. So, yeah, so just um, be wary that it's important to do together yeah, all right.

Speaker 2:

So once you've read them out aloud to each other, so that's the next step is to read them to each other. Then, after that, I just want you to just anchor into how that feels to receive that from your partner, because sometimes your partner might say something that you can't imagine being part of your mutual vision, because we're going to combine these together. So for now, just taking note on any that really don't resonate. Most of them probably likely will resonate, because we're talking about positive things for the relationship, but some might be a little bit edgy and might actually have or contain some wounds from the past in your relationship too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so just leave those ones aside. We can come and revisit those another time. Yeah, yeah, so, yeah. So, after you've read them to each other, the next step is to actually look and see if there's any similarities, if there's anything that you both desiring that are quite similar along the same lines. And then is the next step is to sit down and create your mutual relationship vision. So, coming together, sharing this opportunity to both express and work out the best words that fit with you. So, whether it's something as simple as we have fun together, we laugh together, whatever that is it's, it's, um, what your words need to be coming yeah, so some of the topics that you really want to cover are maybe physical connection, respect, trust, intimacy, communication, big one.

Speaker 2:

Emotional intimacy, support for each other. Parenting, yeah individual desires as well. So I just think the broader we can go, covering all bases, the better. And if you can do that and cover more bases, then you guys are going to feel like you are more rounded in your relationship if you can come to an agreeance, yeah, yeah yeah, so working through that together, listing out probably around about no more than 10 relationship visions that you both agree on.

Speaker 1:

You're both creating, um, and I guess the final step is to read them to each other, that final product, and really looking at each other and taking attention into how it feels for your partner to say that, that they want that or they have that, and because I feel like we spend so much time just nitpicking everything that's wrong.

Speaker 1:

So it's really nice to focus on something that we both want. So, yeah, taking the time to read them through and then really encourage you guys to put them up. If you've written, say, maybe eight to ten guys to put them up. If you've written, say, maybe eight to ten visions, put them in the bathroom mirror, put them on on the fridge door, read them to each other, remind yourselves of actually what it is that you both agreeing on, and there's there's buy-in from both of you for these because, uh, if we don't have the buy-in, then it's just wasted. And if this is something that you're struggling to get your partner to do, that's okay. Just remember that sometimes it might take them a little while to come around to doing something like this.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I know, sometimes for me I need processing time. So you know, if you're definitely more of the pursuer in the relationship, it's probably likely that they're going to be more of a withdrawer and sometimes, with that trait, takes time to process as well. So, understanding the importance of this and how important this is for you and, ultimately, for the two of you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. But also reach out if you get stuck with this too, if there's a big block there that you're really finding resistance, if one person's not wanting to do it. We're here to support that, um, and maybe we can help you with a couple of simple strategies that might, yeah, move that, but uh, yeah otherwise.

Speaker 2:

um, just wanted to. I'm getting in a little bit early here, babe, but I'm kind of really just keen to speak about this new emergence of something that we're creating. It's really been bubbling up for actually a year now, really, and now we're bringing it into fruition, and it's something that we're going to launch very shortly, which this actually makes one part of it. So we're going to release what this is soon, but basically, this is going to be the best thing that we've released yet.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I'm so excited about it for couples who have been disconnected, that have been a bit lost and they've lost their way, and they're looking to reconnect and rekindle the union that that maybe has faded, and so stay tuned, make sure that you, you know, follow our pages. So, michael and Amy on Facebook and and on Instagram as well, thrive again. Your relationship podcast, of course, and and yeah, we're gonna announce some details there soon.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's going to be a much more accessible way to work with us. Ultimately, we're getting really busy we don't have enough hours in the day to help all of our clients, so this is a really accessible, simple way to work with us in a pretty unique setting. So we're really excited to start to open that up and if you are interested in and what that looks like and it's really affordable, then please um, yeah, maybe just even send us a message and we can give you some insight, because it's going to be launching in the next week or two, so it's not far away yeah, yeah, amazing.

Speaker 2:

All right, I hope you got something out of that. Make sure you send us a message if you got value out of this, and maybe even if you did this together with your partner. We would love to hear from you, because we love hearing from our community. But otherwise, look after each other, support each other as best as you can and, yeah, we'll see you on the next podcast.

Speaker 1:

Thanks guys.