Join host Lynn Debilzen in this energizing interview with Kelsey Acres on Redraw Your Path!
In this interview, Lynn learns about Kelsey’s journey with finding herself and what she was meant to create in her life. Their conversation touches on:
Tune in for a dynamic discussion on life and growth!
About Kelsey:
Kelsey Acres is a Mindset Coach for Entrepreneurs, Business Owners and Founders. She helps women overcome limiting beliefs and heal from harmful programming from their past (causing fear, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and self-sabotage) so they can reach a higher level of success, income, and impact in their business while taking care of their personal wellness.
Connect with Kelsey:
Website: www.kelseyacres.com
TikTok & Instagram: @kelseyacres
Get her free mindset course, Ditch Beliefs Hurting Your Business: https://www.kelseyacres.com/free-mindset-course
Resources mentioned:
Connect with Lynn:
Join host Lynn Debilzen in this energizing interview with Kelsey Acres on Redraw Your Path!
In this interview, Lynn learns about Kelsey’s journey with finding herself and what she was meant to create in her life. Their conversation touches on:
Tune in for a dynamic discussion on life and growth!
About Kelsey:
Kelsey Acres is a Mindset Coach for Entrepreneurs, Business Owners and Founders. She helps women overcome limiting beliefs and heal from harmful programming from their past (causing fear, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and self-sabotage) so they can reach a higher level of success, income, and impact in their business while taking care of their personal wellness.
Connect with Kelsey:
Website: www.kelseyacres.com
TikTok & Instagram: @kelseyacres
Get her free mindset course, Ditch Beliefs Hurting Your Business: https://www.kelseyacres.com/free-mindset-course
Resources mentioned:
Connect with Lynn:
Hey friends, welcome to Redraw Your Path, a podcast where I share stories of people who have made big changes in their lives and forged their own unique paths. Guests talk about their moments of messiness, fear, and reframing on their way to where they are now. I'm Lynn Debilzen, and my goal is to inspire you about the shape your life could take. So let's get inspired. Hey everyone, I'm really excited to share a conversation that I had with Kelsey Acres Kelsey is a mindset coach for entrepreneurs, business owners, and founders. She helps women overcome limiting beliefs and heal from harmful programming from their past that causes fear, self doubt, imposter syndrome, and self sabotage so that they can reach a higher level of success, income and impact in their business while taking care of their personal wellness. I really enjoyed my conversation with Kelsey. I walked away with so many aha moments and so many ideas that I had learned before that were really driven home. And my hope is that you walk away with the same takeaways from our conversation and can apply those to your real life. Enjoy. Hello, Kelsey I'm so excited to have you on Redraw Your Path today. How are you?
Kelsey:I'm good, Lynn. Very excited to chat with you today. Thanks for having me.
Lynn:Awesome. I'm excited to hear about your background and just like your story leading up to what brought us in the room together today. So Kelsey, can you give me some context about where and how you grew up?
Kelsey:Yeah, absolutely. So, I grew up in a town called Coquitlam. It's a suburb of Vancouver, British Columbia here in Canada. and I, love how I grew up. I had a fantastic childhood, amazing parents. I feel like I got very good values and morals instilled in me that do your best in school, try hard. And I was very supported in all of my interests, which were kind of all over the place. I played hockey and softball. I did acting and I was really just allowed to be who I wanted to be, which was fantastic. And as I've grown up, I really recognize that not everyone got to experience that situation. So I feel really, really grateful for that when I reflect on my past.
Lynn:Wow. Were you in the same, the same suburb or town your whole childhood?
Kelsey:I was, yeah, I just moved houses once when I was six years old, when our family started to grow. And then I actually lived there until I was 23, 24. Yeah, and did lots of traveling as well. So I wasn't there consistently, but um, yeah, a long time in that city.
Lynn:Awesome. And tell me about your family. Were you pretty tight knit? Were you like
Kelsey:Very, very tight knit. Yeah, so got lovely family, mom and dad. I had two sisters. I actually lost a sister when I was 12 years old.
Lynn:sorry.
Kelsey:she was sick. She passed away from cancer and obviously so, so devastating. It was a very, very hard thing to go through. And. My family is so, so incredibly close, I think, because of that as
Lynn:Wow. I'm so sorry. And that
Kelsey:Yeah,
Lynn:can be a really powerful, tightener for families bringer together for family.
Kelsey:is, for sure. And I think it's absolutely changed, like, how me and my family members just see the world. Like, if we can go through that, everything else is It's like cookie crumbs, like not a big deal. If we can go through something like that and still be on the other side and still, have a positive outlook on life and still be doing the things we want to do, we can kind of do anything that we face in life.
Lynn:Yeah, that's beautiful and really speaks to that resilience that is built through through hardship. Um, so Kelsey. Where and how are you currently spending your days? I like to book end with my guests.
Kelsey:I love it. Yes. Um, I'm currently in Vancouver. So like I said, I lived in Coquitlam till I was 24. So my partner and I moved to the city three and a half years ago now. And currently I spend my days working on my business. I'm a solopreneur. I'm a mindset coach for entrepreneurs and business owners, and I support them in overcoming fear, self doubt, imposter syndrome, and stuckness. However, I spend a lot of time also just taking really good care of myself. I really prioritize rest and movement, alone time, time outside in nature, time with others for connection. That has become so increasingly important for me, I think, over the course of the pandemic and also running my own business and being alone a lot of the time. I've had to really prioritize creating that separation to take care of my well being as well.
Lynn:I love that you mentioned that because I know from in my own life, that's often what I think of as my number one priority, right? Like my number one priority is keeping myself healthy and everything else is important too. But I think if we forget that that is the most important thing, we often forget to make time and space for. for. that self care as well.
Kelsey:Yeah, it's very interesting because I think when you're in it, when you're in, you know, really an intense focus mode or you're working on a project or perhaps your job is really intense, you don't actually realize that you need to take care of yourself. You're like, well, I'm focused on this. This is what I have to be doing. It's kind of outside box of
Lynn:Mm hmm.
Kelsey:perception. And that's unfortunately why so many people burn out or experience, you know, tough mental health times is like. You actually really need to take a pause and take a step back and take care of yourself. But it's really unfortunate that it's sometimes very difficult to see.
Lynn:Yeah, it's usually the last thing that people think about. They're like, oh, I have 10 extra minutes. I'm going to fit in some quote unquote self care.
Kelsey:So I, I mean, I always like to be an example for other people and just, you know, do the things to take care of myself. And hopefully that inspires others that see me doing those things and prioritizing that.
Lynn:I love that. I love that. Um, so Kelsey, I know, so we talked about a little bit about how you grew up, what you're doing now, really supporting women entrepreneurs with mindset. and before we talk about, kind of how you got there on your path, I would love to hear about some of the expectations you felt like you grew up with, or external pressures that were placed on you. Because we all grew up with those expectations or molds we didn't ask for. What were those for you?
Kelsey:Yeah, absolutely. It's such an interesting concept to think about, like, All of these external pressures, it's, it's subconscious programming. Like when we're kids, we just see everything that's happening around us, whether that's from our caregivers, on TV, our teachers, our friends, and their families, and that actually becomes what we're destined to do. That's how our minds are programmed, and then we carry that out. And that's why all of us seem to live very similar lives to the people we grew up with, right? Our caregivers or the people in the same town as us. That's what we think is normal unconsciously. So the interesting part is that I didn't know any of that was happening to me, all of those external pressures or expectations until I was like 24 when I had my perspective kind of broken open. but I think, for me personally, it was very, very similar to others in similar countries, right? I'm in Canada and for me it was, you know, go to school, get good grades, do well, definitely go to post secondary, get a higher education, definitely get a good job, hopefully you find a partner along the way. Right? And then the plan all along was to get a good job, be very secure in that, make money, house, kids, live happily ever after. Right? Like that's, that's what we kind of all grow up expected to do, or at least, you know, where I grew up. That was, that was the expectation.
Lynn:I love that. And I'm, I'm so curious if that's kind of how the path went. So you talked about, um, when your perspective was broken open, is that where you want to start in terms of the first big way you redrew your path?
Kelsey:Yeah, that definitely is the first way, but I think there's important context before because I did start following the, unconscious expectations that were laid out for me. Like, I remember in grade 12, I, I'm not sure if everyone else experienced this in their, high school, but it was like, okay, what are you doing after? What is, what is your interest? How do you want to make money? How do you want to, show up in society? and pick a program, right? Pick, pick a post secondary education that aligns with that, that's going to allow you to do that. I was like, Oh my God, that's a big question. How am I supposed to know that right now? I'm like 17. And I was really frustrated. Like I, I was very frustrated at the fact that we were expected to do that. And also really confused that a lot of people were like, well, I want to do this and this is my plan. And And it just seemed so easy for other people. And I was like, is something wrong with me? I'm like, I can't figure this out. And so I ended up taking a break after high school. I didn't want to commit to anything cause I didn't feel sure enough, I suppose. And then I was kind of like, okay, everyone's really moving through post secondary. I feel like I'm falling behind. And so I was thinking to myself, okay, well, what do I like to do? And I loved traveling. My parents took our family on lots of trips and I loved experiencing different cultures. So I was like, Oh, well, there's this program in a nearby city, at an Institute of Technology that teaches you how to work in tourism and marketing and all of those different things for the tourism industry. I'm like, well, that pairs my interest. Let's do that. And. I did so well. I was like one of the top of my class. I won competitions and awards. I was very active and involved. And I think that's because of my, you know, childhood and, you know, doing your best and showing up and being, you know, very active academically. And then I got a job after I graduated at, um, one of the very luxury hotels in Vancouver. And I worked there for three weeks before putting in my notice, because I was like, oh my gosh, this is not it.
Lynn:Oh, no.
Kelsey:And I'm very proud of myself for recognizing that very soon, because I know, a lot of others may have been like, well, I should probably stick it out. Because again, this is what is expected of me. So I, I nipped that in the bud pretty quick and then I decided to travel. So I went on a five week trip in Europe with my sister. I spent three months in Southeast Asia with my partner and just kind of took a break from it all because my mind was all jumbled like, okay, I thought I was supposed to be doing this and just sliding into this career. And it is not happening as seamlessly as I thought it would.
Lynn:Kelsey, how did you know? Like how did you know, oh, this isn't it?
Kelsey:It just felt, I can't really put it into words. It just felt sticky. It just felt like I was resisting it. Like I, I didn't want to do anything. And so when I looked around at all of my options and I truly didn't want to do any of it, I was like, okay, something is wrong here. But at the same time I needed to make money. So I ended up getting a really great job that put me with a municipal government. I was doing their digital marketing, for both the, just the overall municipality and then also their tourism department, and I was really good at that too, but then as time went on, I was looking around like, okay, the people above me, I don't want their jobs. And like, this is kind of the only position that I would be okay with for the next little while. And then as time went on, okay, I'm not really feeling this, it's going to be a long term fit. So again, those feelings were coming back up, like, I don't really want to do any of this. It doesn't feel good. And at that time, I was, doing my own thing, listening to a lot of podcasts, and, following other people on social media. And I know social media is so, like, beat down, and For very good reason, it is very bad for us sometimes. But I also really appreciate the fact that it exposes us to how other people are spending their time and how other people are living their lives. And I think this is my first real aha moment where my Perception of what was possible was really expanded, was seeing women my age, like early 20s, mid 20s, starting their own businesses, and making money for themselves, and kind of breaking out of a career that they thought was going to be the golden ticket to the rest of their lives, and turned out to feel really sticky too. I didn't feel like I was the only one anymore, and so that was really Eye opening for me.
Lynn:had you seen in your own life, Anyone else in your position kind of starting a business? on their own
Kelsey:Not really. No, not that young. I mean, my parents have their own business, but they started that in, I think, their 40s. And that was after, getting so much experience in their field and then finally starting, to contract for themselves and, and make their own money for their own business. So it was something in my awareness, but never something for anyone so young and, you know, someone I knew personally. So that's where seeing other people online doing it really inspired me.
Lynn:I love that. And I can't wait to, I want to dig into that a little bit more. And I want to ask the two points. So the one point where you were like three weeks into a job, you had gotten this degree, and then you had gotten this job at this, very luxury hotel, and you started to realize Oh, okay. Like this isn't it.
Kelsey:What did I do?
Lynn:Yeah. And then the same, like fast forward to that next job you had when you started to realize like, Oh, there's all these opportunities around me, but they're not really what I want. Like, were you dealing with anything in terms of thoughts about yourself or mindset at that point about how you were seeing yourself that you were struggling with?
Kelsey:I was actually more fearful of how it looked to other people because I would, like, I had always been such a high achiever. And now I'm like, okay, I'm quitting my first job out of school and now, you know, I've had my travel phase where everyone else was still at their job and doing well. And I was like, over here on a beach, like, hey, um, which I don't regret at all. I needed that very much. But then to come back into it and try again and have, I mean, everyone around me was like, wow, you got this amazing job. You're making great money. You have so much security, like you're working toward a pension. So I had all of these voices from around me saying how well I was doing, and inside I'm like, oh my god, I don't want to do this. So it's very, very confusing. That being said, I didn't feel like something was wrong with me. I was more just realizing like, wow, capitalism sucks, and like, why do we have, like, it made me kind of question how things, how the world works. I was like, why, why are we expected to do this? You know? So it was really, it was, it was more frustrating than anything. And also I felt, I think I did feel a bit of shame because, everyone around me was telling me what a good job I was doing and how, how successful I was being. And I just, it was not it. Inside. Yeah.
Lynn:Mm hmm. So there was that confusion, the shame, the also like grappling with, wait, I've always been a high achiever. But now, you know, like, I'm leaving these jobs. But also, kind of this sense of, this isn't me, and that anger of capitalism. And, girl, I relate so much.
Kelsey:I know, it makes you want to drop everything and just stop. But then it's like, oh, well, we still live in a capitalist world, so we kind of have to give in to this
Lynn:yeah, the fish can't, like, leave the water and survive.
Kelsey:Exactly. You just gotta Figure out the right stream that works for you.
Lynn:Yeah, right. so you were learning, and starting to like expose yourself to other people and the ways of life that other people were creating for themselves. What did that look like and how did that impact you as a person?
Kelsey:Yeah, it was a lot of, following people on social media that I kind of just randomly came across and, and I liked, the stuff they were talking about. And I remember specifically, I was on a road trip to my cabin in the Kootenays, if anyone knows BC, And I was just listening to this episode and there was a guest on this episode and she was a lovely woman who had kind of gone through a similar situation as me being like, okay, I don't like these jobs. This doesn't feel good. I, I'm really confused and she found mindset work and she found mindset coaching and she became really interested in it. And then she got certified to help other women with mindset issues. And then she became certified to certify and train other women so they could do the same. And in this conversation, It was kind of discussing this process of having this mold, you know, very similar to the conversation we're having now, actually, which is very interesting, but just how we don't have to do all of the things that are expected of us or that we thought we had to do for, years and years and years of our lives and just kind of discussing what else is possible, but how a lot of the time we don't feel it's possible because of the subconscious programs and beliefs and our identity that we grew up with. That's why it can feel so sticky and so frustrating and confusing is because when our mind has been programmed to believe we should do a certain thing, stepping outside of that is very, very uncomfortable. And so this entire conversation was just like, blowing my mind. And I was very intrigued, so I started following her on social media and I actually started learning about this certification program. And in the following months, I was just kind of enthralled with this possibility of creating a different type of life for myself. Clearly, I was not happy with what I was doing at the time. And so just even thinking about Running my own business and making money for myself and making lots of money for myself and having an impact on other people and having the freedom to work when I want to work and do whatever the heck else I want to do whenever I want to do that. It was like so inspiring to me and immediately I was like oh this is it. Like it felt very good in my body but then I was having this incredible polarity of my like Okay, but that's, like, so scary and so dangerous and so, like, outside of what anyone would be expecting of you, Kelsey. Like, it was very hard to deal with, even though it felt so exciting.
Lynn:Yeah, were the thoughts of like, who are you to, to think that you deserve this or who are you to create this freedom for yourself coming up at all?
Kelsey:A little bit, sometimes, and I think that was more rooted in fear of what other people would think. I think it was, I was very worried about other people's response or expectation of me. I didn't want anyone to worry about me or be like, oh, like, you know, again, who does she think she is by, you know, being a coach or talking about these things that aren't, they weren't super mainstream, like, five years ago, these were like very different concepts. And I don't know if you share this, but, thinking about like, the big coaches of the world, it's usually like, white men who are very much like, well, you can do anything. You just have to, you know, wake up at 5 AM and do these things and push, push, push. And I was like, gross. That is not at all what I want to be doing. And that's actually what really drew me toward this woman who was speaking on the podcast who ended up certifying me as a life coach. She was very gentle, was very feminine and flowing and trauma informed and gentle and compassionate. And that's what really, really resonated with me because I know, to go through, what you go through in coaching, you have to get very vulnerable and very real with yourself.
Lynn:hmm.
Kelsey:And a hard and fast approach is not the way to do it at all.
Lynn:Mm hmm.
Kelsey:So I really didn't want to, you know, the term coach was like, ugh, disgusting to me. Like I did not want to be seen as that. And I knew that, by coming out to the masses, like, Oh, if I were to do this and say, I'm a coach, I can't be like, I'm a coach, but like. don't look at me like that, but this is how I'm going about it. And these are my thoughts. I knew I couldn't do that. And I knew that people would have potentially a negative connotation with it. And I just had to get comfortable with that, which was a very challenging thing to do for me.
Lynn:That's, yeah, it's interesting because I'm struggling with that right now. I haven't done my coaching certification and I really want to, but I really struggle with the C word. Um, yeah, the, the C word. and, and, and sometimes it feels like a little culty or a little like, what, what is this kool Aid that everybody's
Kelsey:Oh yeah. It's, it can, but the thing is it can be culty. It can, and it can go, negative ways. Like there are programs that are not great. And there are a lot of people, right? It's an unregulated industry. So, you, you don't even have to go through a certification. You can just call yourself a coach and do whatever you want. That's not the path that I wanted to go because, I wanted all of these other modalities like neuro linguistic programming, emotional freedom techniques, hypnotherapy, all of the things that I ended up getting certified in. I couldn't just show up and be like, hey, I can hypnotize you. Like, I needed to be thoroughly trained.
Lynn:Absolutely.
Kelsey:in the industry, like you don't need that. And it's kind of scary how you can really get into it with someone and not have any credentials to back it up.
Lynn:Absolutely. And I think that's one of the, the fears that I struggle with myself, right? I want to actually rewind a little bit because You started talking about the work that you do and the mindset work, and I want to just take a moment and define that for listeners because I know that's come up in some of my conversations with friends. I'll, I'll share, I'm doing a lot of mindset work or like really working on my mindset and the question has come back to me. What does that even mean? Right. And so I wanted to define that for listeners because I know there's going to be folks that are like pulling out their phones and Googling like, okay, what does this mindset work
Kelsey:Yeah. And they're probably not going to get like a great answer because it's, it's a very loosey goosey term. It's a huge umbrella term. So the work that I do, I came to the title of mindset coach and I still don't love it. Because I still don't think it really accurately defines what I do, but it can be anything in the realm of personal development, self improvement, self reflection. And the reason I chose mindset was because a lot of my work has to do with everything that goes on in your subconscious mind. And so everything happening in your subconscious mind is your beliefs that you have about the world, about yourself. How you see yourself, your identity, like, what comes after I am. And not what you just write down on paper about what you want to be, what actually is the, like, programmed into your subconscious mind. Your memories, significant emotional events, your trauma, any feeling or emotion that's in your body, habits, triggers, these things you do on autopilot. Those are all of the things in your subconscious mind. So how I view mindset work is looking at all of those things in your mind and finding out what isn't serving you to achieve what you want to achieve at this time and changing it, changing the programs, changing the information in your subconscious to be in alignment with what you do want to achieve. And then it's like, you don't need all of the willpower or motivation in the world. you are just showing up as the type of person that has, the beliefs or the habits or the identity of the person who already has what you want. And it makes achieving those things so much faster. So mindset is a huge umbrella term, but in the context of my work, it is about creating and reprogramming the subconscious to be in alignment with what you want. So it feels a lot more empowering and easy to show up every day and get there.
Lynn:I love that. So it's not just like, it's not the actions on top, it's all the underlying beliefs.
Kelsey:Yeah, and that's the really interesting part is like, what do you hear when you're like, Okay, I have a goal to, let's put it in very simple, well known terms, lose five pounds, right? You've heard that a million times before. But what do you do when you set out to achieve a goal weight? You get a gym membership, you start drinking more water, maybe buy a new pair of Lululemons, like you get a spin membership, like you take all of these actions and you're changing your behaviors. But your actions and your behaviors align with your conscious mind. Those are conscious things you can decide. However, If your identity is, I am not a healthy person, or I, I am lazy, I am unmotivated, right? If you believe it is extremely difficult to lose weight, or if you believe you have to do incredibly, dramatic things. Maybe you grew up with a parent who is obsessed with dieting or eating very strictly. you think that's exactly how you have to do it, even if that doesn't work with your body. And what happens when we usually start that goal, right? You start going to the gym, start eating a bit more healthy, right? But it feels hard. It feels like a grind. It feels very forceful. And after a couple of weeks, more often than not, people revert back to their subconscious programs. Because that's 95 percent of your mind, your conscious mind, that willpower, those, those actions and behaviors, that's only 5 percent of your
Lynn:Mm-Hmm.
Kelsey:So, whatever is in your subconscious will, through and through, be the driving force between whether or not you achieve your goal or not. And that's why it's so critically important to look back in there. And it's a hard thing to do, it's, it's not easy. You need information, you need tools and techniques, you need support a lot of the time. But that's what's actually going to get you over the hump and help you achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. I know we use the, um, the health and wellness goal, we'll call it, but this is in relationships, this is in relationship to yourself, this is in your career, with money, all of these facets of our being, really, you have goals in every one of them. So it's very, very important to look at the subconscious levels of your mind to make sure you program them to be in alignment with whatever you want.
Lynn:I love that. And I think about, um, the importance of doing that when you're individually trying to reach a goal. But then also I come from the Nonprofit systems change space. And so often you're trying to collaboratively reach a goal, or even even if you think about like in a relationship or a partnership, you're trying to like Reach a goal with your partner or with your family, but if only one person is working on their mindset or their subconscious programming or what we call it in the systems change world is like mental models and the
Kelsey:Yes,
Lynn:that everybody's holding. If only one person is doing that, you're actually not going to be able to make that change that you want to be seeing,
Kelsey:Yeah, and every single person has their different, perception of reality. We all have our own perception of reality in our minds. And like you and me sitting here having this conversation, we could be having a completely different perception of it. Because of our past, because of our beliefs, our emotions, even how we woke up feeling today, it could completely change our perception of how this conversation is going. And even your listeners, right? Maybe all of their mental models are, are dictating how they perceive this conversation. And I love that you brought up relationships because that's why a lot of relationships really struggle is because it's two people with two completely different pasts, different upbringings. They saw different things from Their parents are caregivers, people in relationship around them, they have different attachments, they have different conflict resolution styles or lack thereof, and so two people coming together in a relationship is such a fascinating experience because of the different mental models, and it really takes a lot of work to understand each other's mental model and then see, okay, how can we make this work for our collective goals here because it's going to take different reprogramming for each specific person. And the same goes for teams, right? In a workplace working toward a collective goal. And that's, I think, why a lot of self sabotage comes up because we always revert back to what we know and what we believe, even if we're not consciously aware of it, we always try to continue on that trajectory. Cause that's what our minds are programmed to do. It feels safe.
Lynn:we're not set up to look at our own subconscious and the subconscious of five other people and all figure it out together.
Kelsey:yeah. And that was a really big realization I had while going through my training, just understanding how every single person has their life and they have the years that they were, their subconscious was programmed, and they're literally just doing the best they can with, with their current circumstances, right? And then you think, oh, well, if someone, even someone listening, is really struggling, well, my circumstances were not good. There's also, who programmed you, looking at your caregivers, right? A lot of times we inherit negative programs from our caregivers. However, when you zoom out a little bit more, okay, they were doing the best they could, right? They were raising you the best they could based on how they were programmed and their current circumstances. And that's why, These things are so, so generational, and I think understanding this concept of everyone on planet Earth, even if they are quote unquote bad people doing bad things, they are truly doing what they think is best to achieve their desires, even if it hurts other people. And I'm not excusing that, because there's a lot of bad going on in the world, and it's not okay. It's just very interesting to go into their minds. They truly believe they are doing what is best based on how their mind is programmed. And I think in the context of, you know, your family and maybe you have a generational pattern around, verbal abuse or these types of things that are really hard that happen in family systems. Zooming out, understanding that it was inherited by each of the generations in your family, it can also give you an element of compassion. Because, if you had a parent that wasn't great for you, it's very, likely that they had a parent that wasn't great to them and they just inherited all of that. So it is really useful to zoom out and it helps us be very empathetic and compassionate to one another, I think.
Lynn:was going to ask Kelsey, as you were going through that turn in your life or like your program and Gaining the tools to become a mindset coach, did you find that it helped you reframe a lot of your own experiences or give grace where you weren't necessarily giving grace before?
Kelsey:Absolutely. It completely changed how I saw the entire world and all of the people in my life, right? we can have so much more compassion and understanding for one another. And at the time, like, I was going through a very difficult friendship situation. And it wasn't, wasn't at the, you know, climax of it, but it was at a time where I was still very hurt and I was very confused about what was going on and why it happened. And as I was going through this program, I'm like, oh my gosh. Like. They were freaking out and they didn't know what to do and they thought this is what was going to keep them safe in their body. Like, this is how their mind was programmed and I fully was just like, I don't care anymore. Like, that is so okay. I actually feel bad. And I feel bad for anyone who has a difficult interpersonal situation where they end up, you know, damaging a relationship or losing someone they love because their mind is just programmed to keep them safe and they did not have the tools or resources and they were given negative programs from the people around them. So it really, really helps you in conflict, I think. It still helps me in conflict because I'm able to take a step back and understand What is going on inside of them that is causing them to behave in a certain way, say a certain thing, anything like that. So it, it has really changed my relationships.
Lynn:That's awesome. I think one of the ahas I've had for myself in the last year, year and a half, as I've gone through a big life journey has been, oh, my brain is wired for survival and not to thrive. And so realizing that that's why I saw myself as like self sabotaging, or, just like, Getting in my own way or really like struggling emotionally with things, I think, allowed myself to step back and realize, okay, like, how do I reprogram so that I thrive and not just survive?
Kelsey:Totally. Yeah, and something I've been just very interested in the past couple of years is the nervous system. And it totally goes along with what you were saying, like we're programmed just to survive. And anytime, back in the day, it was like a big threat that brought you into fight or flight or freeze. Was a predator, an animal or something that you had to either play dead or run away from. I think a lot of us have heard this analogy before. But in terms of showing up in our lives now, there are so many threats to our body. technology, notifications, just all of the noise we have to deal with. And you can actually compare those to a gajillion wild animals running after us. That's how it feels to our body. And so when we're feeling stuck or shut down or, you know, the terrible terms, unmotivated or lazy, there's no such thing as being unmotivated or lazy. Your body is literally just shutting down because it can't deal with all of the noise and all of the threats to our safety, right? It's not actually a threat to our safety. It's our phone sitting on our table. But to your body, it feels like a threat and it causes us to shut down. This is literally not what I'm certified to talk about, but it's just so fascinating to me. And I, I really want to learn more about it because I see it in my own life all the time. Like I'll get a spike of anxiety and I'm like, what is going on? I'm literally just sitting in my house, but it can be so mental.
Lynn:Yeah, well, and my brain just exploded, right, because, as you said, the notifications are like a gajillion animals running after us, but, back in the day, we didn't have a gajillion animals ever in one day
Kelsey:no, it was just one. And we could, we could escape it. And then we're like, okay, we can regulate.
Lynn:we can regulate for, like, a month, because we're not going to get run after tomorrow, probably,
Kelsey:but it's very difficult to regulate in our lives currently just because it's constant. And so that's another, part of the compassion puzzle is when you or someone in your life or, you know, a friend or family member isn't doing the things you know they, you know, consciously should be doing, you go, okay, what's going on here? Like, are they bombarded, are they very stressed out, are these, like, things coming at them left, right, and center, and it really helps you slow down and understand, but also be like, okay, what do you, what do we have to take out here, what, what animals can we get rid of here?
Lynn:I love that. So let's, let's go back to your path. I'm so glad we went there though, because
Kelsey:Me too, getting all over the place.
Lynn:no, that's so great. It's so great for me. And selfishly, that's what this podcast is for.
Kelsey:I love that you say that out loud, point blank, because it should be, it should be, like, conversations should be mutually beneficial for people.
Lynn:yeah, and I found that as I was going through and like talking with people and learning more about, the tools that. exist out there that can support our lives. I selfishly, like, wanted to hear more of it but then also because I am a caregiver and a sharer, I just wanted everybody to be able to benefit. So that's
Kelsey:Of course, that's how, that's how we're all going to benefit and change and break out of these expectations, right? That's a good conversations to
Lynn:Yeah, no, so great. So great. So, you like turned your path by, you started getting inspired by this woman and her story. And by the way, you didn't share a name. Are you open to sharing a name?
Kelsey:Absolutely. Yes. Her name. is Reese Evans. She lives in Toronto, Canada. She runs a coaching certification called Yesupply. I highly recommend it to literally anyone who is interested in coaching, in NLP, in hypnotherapy. Because not only do you go through and you get all of the certifications to run your own business and really impact other people, as you're going through the certification, you get to go through the whole journey yourself because you and your peers get to practice on each other. So you go through this entire personal development journey in it and then you are that much more set up to succeed in helping other people and creating the business and life that you want to. It's very special. So highly, highly, recommend that.
Lynn:Love that. Love that. And I can include, that information in the show notes too, if folks want to look it up. I, I feel like sometimes in the, going back to the, the C word, the coaching world, there's oftentimes this veil and like people never really, reveal who their inspiration was or what their exact path was. So thank you for sharing that.
Kelsey:Oh, absolutely.
Lynn:So you. Yeah. You went through that like turn in your life. What was the next big way you kind of redrew your path?
Kelsey:Well, as I was going through the coaching certification, I was still working that government job doing the digital marketing and the tourism. Right. So I, on the outside, I was the same, Kelsey. I kept this coaching certification very private. I actually didn't even tell anyone until I had already enrolled in it. Because I was like, I don't want anyone to tell me to go back on this. Like I need this to just happen. actually I did tell my partner like two days before, but it was so scary. Cause I was like, what are you going to think of a C word? What are you going to think of like the potential risk of me losing this like really solid job and going at it on my own? Like that's, that's hard, right? For people that love you and care about you. It was, it was very interesting. And so there was a lot of fear, a lot of discomfort, like around my identity and who I was going to be by pressing, okay, add to cart, pay for the program, get all enrolled, right? So that was a big, big point for me. But after I started telling people and after I started getting a lot of support and interest. I was like, okay, let's do it. Like I got through the coaching certification, just like I'd close my laptop from my work and then I would open my other laptop and sit in my bedroom and go through the certification for like hours a night. I was just enthralled with it. It was so interesting. And then the next, redrawing of the path was like, okay, I've got the certification. What am I going to do with it? And so I quit my job quite quickly after I got certified because I finally felt like I had the tools to, you know, make it happen, right?
Lynn:Mm-Hmm.
Kelsey:that was a biggie, that was a big deal, because that was ending, this vision everyone else had of me. Like, oh, this is Kelsey, she's worked this job, she's gone to school for this, this is, this is her thing. And so it was completely altering that. And like I had mentioned previously, I was someone who was very, very concerned with what other people thought of me, and making sure it was like, okay, and chill, and positive, right? I didn't want anyone to question that. Even though I was so excited about what I was doing and I felt very confident in it. So isn't that so interesting that despite that, that, overwhelming need for validation, really external validation was so noisy for me.
Lynn:Even after going through all of that internal work. Right. Okay.
Kelsey:oh yeah, yeah, because when I was going through all that internal work, I was just by myself. No one else knew about it. And so bringing other people in on my side of the story was very, very hard for me. And it took a while and I worked with two other coaches on it, right, on that identity work and who I was showing up as, and then I kind of just had to take the plunge and make a post and say, Hey, this is what I'm doing. This is what's been going on. And. Here's how I'm showing up and here's how you can work with me or this is, these are the conversations that I'm talking about and I just started sharing concepts. I started sharing information about the subconscious mind and information on how it alters your perception and the thoughts you have about yourself and the world and your feelings and people were like, Oh my God, I had no idea all of this was happening inside my own mind and body until you just told me. And so it started a lot of conversations, it started a lot of interest, which was very cool, and then I was like, okay, I'm getting my mojo about this,
Lynn:Was that your current community, by the way? Was that, like, the people that were reacting positively, was it your people already?
Kelsey:yes, it was my people already, because I just, that's, that's, all you have to start with, really, is just the people that are currently in your circle, so friends, family members, people I went to high school with, you know, all the people that are on your Instagram when you haven't done anything else with it, right?
Lynn:hmm. Mm hmm.
Kelsey:so that's, That's how I started and I just kept sharing and sharing and I actually had a post go viral on TikTok and it reached 1. 6 million views which is insane to me still to this day. I got so many new followers, I had so many comments and questions and direct messages and people wanting to work with me. And this was before I had anything set up. So I'm like, holy, what am I supposed to do right now? So very quickly I had to go, okay, Kels, pull up, pull up, your pants. Like you gotta be a big girl and like figure out how to turn this into your business that really you hadn't set up yet. I was just sharing what I had learned about the mind in hopes of, eventually getting there. So it came very quickly. So I set up a three month program to work with clients on Basically covering all of the areas of their life, going into the past, looking at what programs didn't serve them and reprogramming them to achieve their goals. And then doing a lot of things like maintaining motivation, maintaining good habits and routines to consistently show up and take action toward your goals. And so I, in the first launch of that program, I signed I think eight or nine clients. And so again, within like, 30 days of starting to post, I had sold like 27, 000 of my coaching services, which is crazy and just like unlocked this world of possibility. Like, wow, I literally just started this.
Lynn:hmm.
Kelsey:else can I do? This is crazy. And so I had an amazing time working through that program with these clients. They are. Still to this day, so special to me because they were my first group, my first crew that had faith in me, which was so, so cool. but I got very burnt out because I was live creating the program as we went through those three months because I didn't have any lead time. So while I was showing up on zoom for nine hours a week, I was also creating videos and workbooks and meditations and all of these tools to then go live the following week. It was insane. Now that I look back on it, like I don't think I could do it
Lynn:Mm hmm.
Kelsey:And then I was like, okay, I'm at the end. All of these clients have these amazing transformations and amazing feedback. Let's do it again. However, because I spent all that time so intentional with that group of clients creating the program, I hadn't continued posting. I hadn't continued sharing. I like kind of dropped off the face of the
Lynn:Yeah, Yeah, Which happens, that is very common.
Kelsey:Oh yeah. Like I don't fault myself for it at all. As frustrated as I was at the time, cause I didn't have any momentum anymore. I'm still very glad it happened how it happened, because I created and delivered an incredible program to these people that put their trust and vulnerability in me. But then I was like, alright, Kelsey, we gotta figure out what to do next. Like, this, this isn't gonna work just on an ongoing basis. The people stopped coming. And so, for a while, it was word of mouth, and I got referrals, and, I got some people from social media. But over the past, yeah, year or two, it kind of just like teetered around. I've also gone through some just like difficult personal times and had to take a little bit of a step back from my business and be really okay and comfortable with that. And I, I very much am, and I'm proud of myself for prioritizing that. And I was like, okay, this doesn't, I had that sticky feeling again. I was like, this isn't working, this doesn't feel right anymore. And so I had to think like, okay, what have I enjoyed the most the past two years of doing this? What have I been most excited about? What has, what transformations in my clients been?
Lynn:Mm
Kelsey:And I just recognized, I was like, I get so excited when I work with another young woman. Trying to start a business or in the midst of growing her business to support herself and the life she wants, right? We keep coming back to that. It's so inspirational to me to break out of the structure and actually create a life and earn money to support yourself and your family doing what you love to do and making an impact on other people. And that just rang true to me so many times. I was like, okay, so this is who I'm working with now. This is, this is who I'm going to serve because I love the mission. It's near and dear to my heart. I have my own personal experience with it as well because I tell you what, growing a business, starting business, whatever stage of business you're in, it turns into an entire personal development journey as well. It will bring out all of those things deep inside of you, all of the insecurities, the fears, the identity that doesn't align with what you want. It will just leech out of you as you grow your business. And those are the mindset issues that I have experienced myself and also that I am so excited to be helping other women overcome and reprogram so they can actually show up. in their business how they want to and achieve those goals.
Lynn:Mm hmm. That's so powerful. And, and I hear what you did is really you listened to yourself and you found that clarity within within yourself as you were starting to reflect on your journey.
Kelsey:Totally. And I will be very quick to say it took longer than I wish it had. I struggled for a while with like, is this even what I'm supposed to be doing? Why doesn't it feel so exciting anymore? Why am I struggling to show up? And I think it was because I was just like, Helping anyone with anything they wanted to talk about. And I wasn't listening to what really lit me up, even though I could apply all of the tools and all the principles that make a really good impact. I was more focused on like, okay, what do you want? What do you need from me? And I'll make it work. And I didn't take the time to be like, what do I like to do? What am I passionate about? How do I show up in the best energy? It took me a while. It took me longer than I'd like to figure that out, but I'm glad I got there in the end.
Lynn:I feel like it always takes all of us longer than we want it.
Kelsey:It sure does, doesn't it?
Lynn:Right? It's always like, Oh, why did it take me my entire life to figure out this
Kelsey:I know. So I'm very grateful that I'm still in my mid to late 20s and I'm figuring this out. You know, I'm, I'm super happy that my eyes were opened to this while I was in my 20s and that's why I want to share so much. It's because it doesn't have to be later on in life. It can be whenever you want.
Lynn:Yeah. So powerful. I want to ask one question. So going back to when you signed those first, like eight or nine clients, um, I heard you said you were excited and you were like, Oh my gosh, what's happening. Did you have that oh shit moment.
Kelsey:little bit and I think the oh shit came from I actually don't have anything to deliver to these people yet And they've paid me good money to work with me And so I think you know, I see two sides of this coin, right? There's the oh shit and then there's the wow, they've put this trust in me I'm gonna I'm gonna put on a good show like I'm gonna give them a beyond what they've paid me for, beyond what they're expecting. And that's what I did, right? I did a really, really good job and I'm very proud of myself for the fire that lit under me and that carried me forward, right? I didn't burn out until after that last session.
Lynn:Yeah.
Kelsey:showed up and I did it and that's when it all crashed and burned. But I think because of the appreciation I had for the people who wanted to work with me, that kept me going for so long. Three months, three whole months of like non stop.
Lynn:Yeah, that's really powerful. And I think it speaks to a concept I've learned around there being two types of fear. And one of those types of fear being the actual fear that there's an animal running after me. And then the other fear of being the Like, Oh, I'm about to step into a bigger version of myself and almost like that queasy stomach feeling where you know that it's going to be really beautiful, but it's unsettling because it is change and it
Kelsey:totally. it's it's outside of my comfort zone. I had never done anything like that and it really proved to me that I'm capable of doing A whole lot of good in a short amount of time and showing up really, really powerfully for other people. And that honestly, those three months have really been a constant reminder for me when things have gotten hard, when I'm facing something like a challenge, whether it's like website coding or a really big issue with a client that I'm like, Ooh, in this moment, I actually am questioning what direction to take it on. I get there in the end, of course, but any time that I feel stuck or I feel like my capability is lacking or that I might, not be doing something the right way, I've already proven to myself by delivering that program and creating it as well as I did that I'm very, very much more capable of what I'm facing in the moment and so much more. And having that proof for your mind, like, if anyone struggles with stuckness, or fear, or negative thoughts about themselves, finding proof from your past will really help you dissolve those issues. Because you create, like, I call it a proof list, right? If you're dealing with, I'm not capable of this, write down all the times you were capable of things just like that, or something similar, or you overcame something and showed resiliency, There's so many situations when you really sit down and write it down and reflect that you're like, okay, I'm capable of a lot. Like, I can pretty much do this, no questions asked. But when you're in the moment, you're inside that little box, right? It's really hard to figure that out and have that perception shift.
Lynn:Absolutely.
Kelsey:So I always, write down or think about other times that I've gone through. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's a podcast where you can talk about hard things or similar things and come out the other side. Like, let's be real, we're all sitting here, you're talking to me, someone else is listening to this podcast, we all made it here, we've never not been able to make it here.
Lynn:Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
Kelsey:So that kind of goes to show, anything that comes up against you, You've made it through all of these years of your life. Like we've all been through the ringer, I'm sure. Like both of us and anyone listening, pretty much everyone on this earth have made it through very, very difficult things and tough times. And we are still here. So when we really sit down and think about it, like you can, you can work on whatever is in front of you and you can overcome it.
Lynn:I love that. snaps to that. because yeah, you are capable of it. You've proven that. You are capable of so much more. And listeners, that goes for you, you too. it's a great reminder for all of us that, we have gotten here.
Kelsey:Totally. And we don't have to get here ourselves, right? we've got lots of resources. We've got the internet. We can learn things. We have people in our lives and networks of people that they know that have done what we're trying to do, right? Bring it back to social media. There's people on social media. There's inspiration you can take from people who have overcome the things you are dealing with right now. The fact that someone else in this world Has achieved something, it's proof that you can do it, too. The fact that someone has overcome something you're dealing with is proof that you can overcome it, too. You just need to show resilience. You need to seek resources. You need to seek support and remind yourself that you've been through a lot of shit and you can do this thing too.
Lynn:I love that. I love that advice. that's going to be the quote I pull out. You've been through a lot of shit and you can do this too. I love that. Kelsey, any other terms you want to talk about in terms of your life?
Kelsey:I honestly think we've arrived here, right? We've, I, I'm creating this business. I'm creating new services and offerings. For women, entrepreneurs, business owners, founders, women in business, because I, I have the experience of all of the mindset issues that come up, the fear, the self doubt, lacking capability, feeling not good enough. Even if I'm sitting here on this podcast, talking very confidently about what I know, I'm super confident in my client work. I'm super confident in the service I provide still when I am by myself. It sometimes creeps up and I still have to apply the tools and the knowledge to continuously work on my mindset. And that's just a fact of life, right? Our minds are plastic. They are ever changing. There are hard things we experience in life. Certain triggers that you're like, Whoa! I thought I took care of that. And clearly there's still work to do. That's just going to happen for the rest of our lives. And what we need to do is recognize that we are on this ever evolving roller coaster of our minds and do all of the things in our power to make the highs a lot longer and more enjoyable than the lower slumps.
Lynn:I love that. And it's, it's interesting. It's a helpful reminder, for me. My brain tends to be very linear and very checkboxy. So sometimes when I have that low, I'm like, but what?
Kelsey:I, know it feels like it's crashing and burning. You're like,
Lynn:yeah, like, but I've done the work. Why am I having a low? Like it should be there.
Kelsey:Yeah, the message is you are never done. You are never fully done, but you can be doing a lot of good at one time to feel really good. And again, that's further proof that when you have a low, when you have, you know, falling off track, You can prove to yourself, oh, these are all of the things I have done in my life that work, or these are all of the things that this person in my awareness, whether it's in real life or online, has done to do this. It's proof that I can do it too. And it just takes doing it and trying it, and you can start very small, but accepting that it's, an ever evolving thing, highs and lows, is very important, because it can give us a lot of compassion for ourselves. I know that other people who think very linear and checkboxy can be very, very hard on yourself when you fall off track. And then it feels like kind of world shattering. It's like, well, if this is off track, then so is this, and I can't show up in this way. It feels like a really big deal. And it just, it comes down to the tools that we have, right? I've got tools on my website, like you can come check it out. And how we bounce back and we remind ourselves, you know, you've been through shit, you've got this, you're capable, right? It takes a lot of reminding and our subconscious minds
Lynn:Yes. That is so, so helpful. can you tell listeners where to find you and anything you want to share with them?
Kelsey:Yeah, of course. So, I am on TikTok. I am on Instagram. I've got a website. We can link all of that together so I don't bore you with all of the ats and the www. s. but I would definitely check out, I have a free mindset course on my website. It's called Ditch the Beliefs Hurting Your Business. It is catered toward business owners. However, anyone can use it in terms of recognizing you. It's amazing. What beliefs in their subconscious mind are inhibiting them from success, keeping them stuck, keeping them fearful, and then shifting those, right? So it's a video lesson. It takes you through a lot of knowledge about the subconscious mind and how it impacts your perception. And then you do like a deep dive worksheet. You get very honest with yourself and kind of uncover what could be going on and start to shift that to be more empowering. We kind of go through that proof list. We go through these practices that you can apply to really any area of your life when wanting to change your perspective. So that is definitely something I would check out. It's totally free to download. and other than that, just, yeah. My Instagram, my TikTok, come, come have conversations with me. Let me know what you're going through. I love to chat like genuinely. I love when people reach out and say like, oh, I heard you on this podcast This is what I'm going through or this is how it applied to my life. Like I it's me on the other side I don't do the bots or I don't have any employees. So it's me but I love to have those conversations with you and if I can give you any support or help or advice I would love to do that or if you do eventually want to work one on one with me. I have packages that are Quite affordable to do that as well. If you want that personalized support, I can reprogram your mind and all of my ways.
Lynn:Awesome. Thank you so much, Palsy Akers. I will be putting those links in the show notes for listeners, and I myself have signed up for your e course. So I'm really excited to do that limiting beliefs work and mindset work and really get under my, the junk going
Kelsey:it, uncover it.
Lynn:I love that. I love that. Thank you so much, Kelsey.
Kelsey:Thank you. I love this conversation. You're a
Lynn:Oh my gosh. Hey, thanks for listening to Redraw Your Path with me, Lynn Debilzen. If you liked the episode, please share and subscribe. That helps more listeners find me. And don't be shy, reach out and connect with me on LinkedIn. I would love to know what resonated with you. Can't wait to share more inspiring stories with you. See you next week.