004: Toxic Diet Culture With Dr. Lisa Folden

This week I talk with Dr. Lisa Folden about toxic diet culture and body image! 

Dr. Lisa N. Folden is a North Carolina licensed physical therapist, NASM certified behavior change specialist and Anti-diet Health & Body Image Coach. She also owns Healthy Phit Physical Therapy & Wellness Consultants in Charlotte, NC where she provides weight-inclusive services to clients in diverse bodies and those in eating disorder recovery. 

As a body positive women’s health expert and health at every size (HAES®️) ambassador, Dr. Folden assists women seeking healthier lifestyles. Her weight-neutral approach encourages intuitive eating, body acceptance and breaking up with toxic diet culture. 

Dr. Lisa is a mom of three, published author and speaker who understands the complex needs of the modern busy woman and mom. Therefore, her goal is to see as many people as possible living their best lives without worrying about their weight!

Check her e-portfolio here: https://sites.google.com/view/healthyphitphysicaltherapy

www.Instagram.com/HealthyPhit

www.Facebook.com/HealthyPhit

www.Twitter.com/HealthyPhitPT

www.Pinterest.com/HealthyPhit

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCSDX7y9KgBMhEyfQWcDo7g

www.HealthyPhit.com

info@HealthyPhit.com

980-505-7448 P

704-954-8681 F

I can't wait for you to listen to this episode. Let me know what you think about it!

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Transcript

 Hey everybody. Kacey here with Chick Chat collective. I am super excited. I have Dr. Lisa Folden here and she is. A super inspiration to so many. She is a body health coach, a body image coach. We were just chatting a bit before we started recording and uh, just the little things we were already talking about.

We both as women. Have experienced, um, certain feelings, certain thoughts that could run through our minds. And I'm sure you as being a coach, hear these kinds of things all the time from women and your clients. And we just wanna get real about it because I know that, you know, if we're having these feelings and thoughts, there's probably so many other women having these feelings and thoughts, and it's time we just break out of this mess.

You know, and so I wanna hand it over to you, Lisa. Um, first if you wanna just tell us a little bit about yourself and your background and, and kind of how you got into this awesome space. And you've created such a, an amazing following and amazing business. So we, we just wanna hear all about it. Thank you, Katie.

Thank you for having me. First of all, I appreciate it. Um, I've never turned out a chance to talk about this stuff because the more we talk about it, the more we normalize it and the more people are aware and the more people can walk away from like, all this toxicity around our bodies and dieting and all that stuff.

So, um, as you said, um, my name's Dr. Lisa Folden. I am a licensed physical therapist. And I am an N A S M Certified Health Coach and what I chose to do with tho with that education and those certifications is um, create a private practice. I'm located in Charlotte and my practice is called Healthy Fit Physical Therapy and Wellness Consultants.

And what I do is offer weight inclusive physical therapy, which means I work with people in all size bodies. I make sure that my. Space is accommodating to people in all sized bodies, and my equipment can accommodate people in all sized bodies to restore some integrity. Yes. Uh, people don't realize this, but when people live in large bodies, they're often mistreated in the medical field.

So I try to, um, undo that and then I offer, uh, Anti diet health and body image coaching, um, in addition to, in my business and what that looks like is talking mostly with women, even though men have body image stuff that they don't talk about. Yeah. As often. Um, that I spend a lot of time mostly with women, helping them make peace with their bodies, learn to respect and love their bodies, um, or at least be kind, you know, to their bodies and also people who are trying to improve their health.

I help them do that outside of the confines of toxic diet culture. So, I've been a PT for almost 16 years and. I love it. Um, this niche, uh, as far as working with people in large bodies, and also I work with people in recovery from eating disorders, um, that has been, uh, sort of brewing for the last year or so, and I really enjoy, um, sort of that pocket of therapy helping people recover safely and improve their relationship with their bodies.

So it, it was because of my own personal experiences. We talked earlier. I also had three kids within four years. Yeah. Um, back to back, to back. My body changed a lot. Um, and then the funny thing is it changed more after I was done having kids and that's what freaked me out. Yeah. So I went through that whole process that we go through of trying to change and manipulate things and cut back on calories and overexercise and, and I, I realized, um, it wasn't sustainable and, um, I had to find a new way.

And so it really took like getting out into the literature and finding other people who had the same experience. So it started with the book Health at Every Size by Dr. Linda Bacon. And that just kind of like, like opened my mind to this thought that like maybe what I've learned my whole life about health and fitness and stuff is not true.

Yeah. And so that's how. I became educated on diet culture and that became like my new focus. Everybody needs to know what toxic diet culture is. Yes. And everybody needs to try to walk away from it so we can have better relationships with ourselves. So, okay. So number one, I love that. I've never heard of that book, but health at every size, is that what it's called?

Yes. Health, every size. Okay, number one, how amazing, because in this culture, if you're not like skinny and ripped with abs and your muscles are, you know, toned and defined, like you're not a healthy person, right? Is what we've been told. You know, and I. Same, right. Like as a mom in my late thirties mm-hmm.

Like our bodies change. I genetically come from like small people, so I mm-hmm. I got made fun of in school for being skinny people, saying I was anorexic, even though I wasn't. I've always eaten a straight up man, you know? But So on the flip side of that though, you get older and your body, your metabolism slows down.

You have absolutely kids. Mm-hmm. And, and I'm not that size or that person anymore, but it was like, so. Like ingrained in my head of like, it was your identity. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It was my identity. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so now you're, I'm like finding a new identity and, and trying to be comfortable and secure with it.

But yeah, I just love that I need to read that book because it's true. It's just like, we're not all built the same. We're just not, you know? And just because some people are this size or not, you can still, if you're a healthy person and you're doing healthy things and eating healthy foods, You're healthy, you know?

Mm-hmm. Right. And can you explain a little bit about, um, this toxic diet culture? Like kind of just go into a little bit cuz maybe some of these listeners are, are in that right? Mm-hmm. Now, or, you know, and they're trying to get themselves out of it. Um, any insight on that? Oh, absolutely. So toxic diet culture is really, it's this, this entity, um, it's a billion dollar, multi-billion dollar industry and entity that essentially profits off of our dislike for our bodies.

So, It's diet programs, it's diet foods, it's diet medication that people are getting prescribed by their physicians. Crazy. A whole nother conversation. Yeah. It's all the money. It's all of the things that line the pockets of people, uh, who profit off of us. Hating ourselves in some way. And so when you say like, you know, if you're not built a certain way or you don't have abs, or, the funny thing about that is you can probably describe what some people would consider fit, and then I could probably describe what some people would consider fit.

And there's gonna be variations. And the reason for that is because there's no one true definition of it. And so there's imaginary carrot that we're all chasing. When I look back at photos of myself from seven years ago, I'm like, oh, okay. I was, I was really a nice size. I was cute, but in, in my mind at that time, I hated my body and I was trying to figure out how to make it better.

And that is air quotes for a reason, because there was never. Anything wrong with my body. So toxic diet culture is just this persistent, consistent belief that we need to be doing something to look better, thinner, healthier, stronger, fitter, whatever, when in reality that's, that's not what we're supposed to be wasting our time doing.

Yeah. And when we talk about body types and you say like, you know, genetically what you come from 85%. Of what our bodies look like. Shape, size, weight is controlled by genetics. We only have about 15% control when we talk about like what we eat and how we move. And you know, for some people they get more control if they get surgical procedures.

I don't endorse that, but I believe in body autonomy. So do whatever you think is gonna make you feel better. But um, Really, genetics play a huge role into what our bodies look like and other things outside of our control, you know, environment. Like all of those things play into. The size and shape and weight of our bodies, but we have been told by diet culture, by diet companies that we have full control.

This is everything that happens to you and your health and body is because of a decision you made, and that's just not true, right? It's just not true. There's so many things outside of our control, and yeah, we can eat healthy foods and move, but the reality is everybody. You and I can eat the exact same thing every day and work out, you know, the same way every day.

And we will still look completely different. And what I want people to understand is that is okay. As a matter of fact, that is good. Yeah. Like it's beautiful di body diversity is beautiful and it's important. I need people to understand that people in large bodies, fat people have existed since the beginning of time.

Since the beginning of time. Even when, you know, we didn't have all this processed food and McDonald's, whatever. Fat people still existed and they're supposed to exist. Yes. And for whatever reason, diet culture says no. Everybody should be trying to get to this, this middle, this thin. Not too thin. Not too big.

Right here. Perfect. This per it doesn't exist. It's imaginary, it's toxic, it's counterproductive to real health and it ruins our relationship with our bodies because we are always seen as less than. Yeah. And like we need to be working towards something different. So, and when does that stop? You know, when is it like never you get to the magical part where you're like, my body's perfect now I can chill out.

You know? Now I have talked myself to, I have talked to 70 year old women who are still dieting. Goodness gracious. That makes sense. So think about that. Mine too. Right? So you're in your late thirties. I'm 41. I figured this out a couple years ago and I still think like, damn, that was like twenties plus years of my life.

I was like, and so I couldn't imagine. The mental and emotional turmoil of still trying to lose weight or maintain weight at 70 years old. Yeah, like I be hanging with my grandkids and just loving life like dieting. I know. And it's world we live in. It is, and it's almost like you wonder, have they just been doing it for so long that it's just, they're normal, right?

Maybe they've been doing it since they were in their twenties or thirties. ORs, you know, after they had their last baby and trying to get that figure back. And that's another thing. I cannot stand in this system, snap back. Oh my gosh. And like, yeah, you know, I tried that after my first baby C-section baby.

Right? You can't move for six weeks, da da, da, da, da. And. Then after the second one, I was just like, right, I'm giving that. There's just, there's too much, right? We're, we're breastfeeding, we're taking care of a newborn. We're not getting any sleep. But make sure your body bounces back, cuz you gotta post those pictures on social media and you gotta show everyone how quickly you bounced back after that.

And I'm just like, I cannot like, get in on this. I just cannot. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. And lemme just be clear when I'm, when I'm like, Dogging diet, culture and dogging this. I'm not dogging like the person, I have compassion for the person that's in that space. Right. Because I lived there and I definitely was the person trying to snap back from all three kids.

Yeah. You know, it wasn't until my, so my oldest is about to be 12. My, um, middle child is 10, and my son, um, is eight. I didn't grasp this concept until. My son was maybe four. So for each pregnancy, yeah, I was like documenting the before and afters and the, you know, the snap back. And it was very important to me to get to my pre-pregnancy weight.

So I'm not knocking anybody if that is where you still are, because I have compassion for that because it's really freaking hard. Everything around us from social media, from our doctors, from our family, from our community, from magazine covers, from tv, everything tells us that thinner is better.

Everything. Yeah. So for you to not think that you're a unicorn, right? Like I'm a unicorn now because I know that's not the case, but most people see being smaller as better, healthier, happier, and being larger as less healthy, less happy, unworthy, you know, bad. So, It's, it's not surprising that so many people live there, but I'm with you 100%.

I hate this idea of snapping back when we should be focused on, you know, getting back to ourselves emotionally and spiritually and connecting with our children and managing this new life. Yeah. And enjoying these moments, you know, that only last so long. So we're like looking in the mirror at our stomachs and trying to like, Figure out how and when it's gonna go back to normal, whatever that even means.

Right. So I hate that theory, you know, which it may not, and it's like you're already mentally like so overloaded and overwhelmed, you know? At least I mm-hmm. I was. And still am. Yeah. Right. My youngest is seven months and I'm getting married in November and Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Mm-hmm. But I just had our engagement session.

Uh, for her, for photos and, you know, I catch myself. I'm the photographer's, like, these are amazing, you know? And of course he's saying that cuz he's just nice and he's a photographer. Yeah. But I think he genuinely meant it too. And, and I, and I'm like, oh, can you like, like, can you not get any of me from the side because I'm wearing like a tighter white dress, you know?

And mm-hmm. And he's like, no one, like, what are you talking about? You know? And it's like, that's. I'm like, well, or can you like edit it? Like, can you make it look like where I don't ha you know, I just mm-hmm. Have a sur. So I've basically had three surgeries with all three kids. And so if you've had a C-section, you know you have that little shelf.

Yes, you do. They tell you about that, right? They don't. No, they don't. And they don't. After ila, the shelf went away that the doctor showed me it possibly could or couldn't. That one did. But I also went through something really crazy and didn't eat for a long time. So I think it went cause of that. And I am always have been, I've like prided myself on how good, how much I can eat.

You know? I just, I love it. I love, I love it all. And the shelf did not go away after my second baby, and then I got pregnant, like right before he turned one, I got pregnant again. No, and I'm seven months postpartum and I've got that shelf. Wow. You know? Mm-hmm. And in my head I'm like, so do I like kill myself to make sure that this, this is all gone by the wedding, you know?

Mm-hmm. Or, and my fiance's just like Casey, like he is just, he loves my body because it birthed two of his sons, you know? Right. And our daughter. And it's just, Why can't we see that? Why is it, you know? Mm-hmm. I, I should be so proud. We should be so proud and thankful to our bodies for these amazing things that they've done and made it through.

Yeah. Right. And I'm just like, it's like, I'm like mad at it that it's, it's got that shelf and you know, and because it did all that work, but it doesn't look perfect. It's like, what? But, but sometimes it takes you saying it out loud to yourself so that you can realize how. Off base. You really are. Yeah.

Like, that can't be the focus. But, you know, here's, here's, here's the reality. And we don't, we don't dig into this a lot, but I say diet culture because it's encouraging all this, but really these, uh, unrealistic body standards come from like racism and the patriarchy and, you know, so it's, it's. This is not something that's just existed in our lifetime.

Right. This goes back to our great great, great, great great grandmothers where the idea, yeah, the idea is that women's bodies are ornaments to be stared upon. We are trophies to be on people's arms. We are to be admired. Like our beauty is, is our. Uh, shining star, you know, so it's, it's about what we look like and how other people perceive us.

And even though no one likes to really dig into that part of it or admit it, that's where it stems from this idea that I need to look desirable. And it's bullshit. It's truly bullshit because I, I like to refer, I don't even remember who to credit for this, but someone said this to me and it has stuck with me.

I look at the body as a meat suit, like this is just my meat. It is just the thing carrying me around through the earth now. Yeah. I am a whole human spirit inside of me. My ideas, my thoughts, even if I couldn't, cuz sometimes we, we move from like, Loving our bodies for, you know, what they look like to loving our bodies for what they can do.

Even if I was bedbound, completely paralyzed, I would still hold value as a human because of my spirit, my heart, my soul, my mind. And that's, that's really what this is about. Getting outside of this meat suit and all, and always being focused on it versus who we are internally, that is where our value.

Really lies how we make people feel. Nobody's gravestone is gonna say, she kept her body tight. She had a great 26 inch weight. Like nobody gives a fuck about that. Like that is not what's important. No. It's about how you treat people. The legacy you leave behind, how you make people feel, what you do for others.

Um, you know, How you inspire people. So the body literally has nothing to do with that. Like nothing. So when we take the focus away from the body, we can lean into who we are as people, and we can work on being better people because. You know, that's a, that's a goal, right? Yes. Versus like, let me see how small I can get my waist.

Let me see how big I can get my butt. Let me, you know, like, yeah, I know over, right? I'm so up that I have a flat booty, always happy, and I'm just like, tired of being like, Do I? How many squats do I have to do? You know, I'm like, I hate squats. I don't wanna do any squat. Right. Hero. That's how many I'm gonna do.

You know, like I tell people, you need to do enough squats to have strong butt muscles for being able to roll over and bridge and bed and, and maintain your mobility as you age. That's it. Yeah, exactly. Oh my god, that's a, I love it. And that just gave me goosebumps, by the way, just talking about it really is, you know, these are like our shells.

Right. Yeah. And, and they're all different. And that's what makes the world interesting and beautiful is mm-hmm. The diversity in that. And so, mm-hmm. It needs to be embraced and, you know, we just, we see the same things on the magazine covers though, and, and starring all the time movies. And it's like, it's, whenever that gets figured out, I feel like a lot more people will feel more secure, you know, when they can see absolutely themselves.

And the people that are always highlighted and featured and yeah. Focused on and considered beauty or the standard of beauty. Beautiful. You know? Yep. Representation matters and expanding the idea of beauty is really important because we live in these bodies, right. Even though they're not as significant as that, we put, you know, out there.

It is important to see people in large bodies, people you know, of different races, people of different ages, because when you don't see that, the unspoken message is only, this is beautiful, only this is fit only, this is good. And if you don't match up tough stuff, you know? Yeah. So it, you're right. We have to continue to expand that and people are doing it, you know?

Yeah. Lizzo is like my favorite because she's like, I don't care what y'all think about me, I'm out here. She's gorgeous and talented and successful. You know, we just need more people like that. She really, yeah. Brilliant. Yeah, absolutely. And she is so.

I don't even know the word to use about her. Do you watch that show Hot Ones where you I don't. This hot wing challenge. Oh my God, you have to watch that. It's my fiancee's favorite show cuz he's a huge hot sauce buff. Like he loves hot sauce. Oh well, hilarious. Will interview celebrities while they are eating chicken wings from like a rate one of hot sauce all the way up to like number 10.

I've seen a clip on there. Okay. Now that, now that you say it. Yep. I've seen that. I've seen a clip of it. She has one. Mm-hmm. And hers is so good and she is just brilliant. Mm-hmm. And she is just like a super intelligent mm-hmm. Highly. She's like on another level of human. Yeah. You know, you, you can kind of sense that when you hear those kinds of people speak and Yeah.

Like when you know, they're like on another level of kind of the norm. Yes. I was like, I am so glad like this episode came on, because I love her music. Of course. You know? Right. I love what she represents, but to really the guy, I can't remember his name right now, but the guy who's the host, he asks very.

Very good questions. Like he digs deep into their lives. Yeah. And they're always so surprised these, the celebrities are like, wow, you really did your research, and they're really flattered, you know? Yeah. But they're caught off guard. And so it's cool to see also how they're answering with this super hot sauce in their mouth.

You know, some of them are crying and like Chugging wa and I just was like, dang, I love her even more. Everyone go watch that episode of Hot Ones. I'm gonna check it out. She gives a good interview any anywhere I've seen her, so, but yeah, I'm gonna check that out. Yeah, you'll love it. It's a great show. Um, one thing I did wanna ask you is what is, so with your coaching and just, you know, being in this space for so long and.

And obviously you're, you're very easy to talk to. I mean, I can just tell with how this is going, so I'm sure you know, people talk to you about this stuff all the time, but if there was one thing that is the most common thing that you see or hear amongst women, I know you work with men too, but mm-hmm.

Just for the sake of focusing on the women, As far as like their body image issues or like how they see themselves? Mm-hmm. What's like the most common thing that you hear or see with that? Um, so I would say there's two most common things. One, it's the, it's a stomach issue. Like women, for whatever reason, men can have stomachs, women cannot, like, that's the general rule, story life.

It's usually stomach related and sometimes, yep, it's from like a C-section, mamas, or just having had children or just life. And when we get to a certain age, metabolism slowing hormones changing, cortisol increasing, which is belly fat, you know? So I. Stomachs, people are just in disgusted with their stomachs.

That's literally what I see, um, to the point where they are considering surgery, they're wearing those ridiculous waste trainers. If you take nothing else from this interview, no waste. Trainers are trash and don't ever use them. Um, But that's it. And then the other thing is like shape. We've been taught to believe in waist trainers as as another like culprit.

For this, we've been taught to believe that we can change the shape of our bodies. Right now, our glass is really in right? So s sizeable or smaller boobs, super thin waist. Much wider hips and butt, like that's the thing. Um, and it's just so not true. Like you can't make your body be shaped a certain way.

Again, outside of going to a surgeon and having it sculpted exactly as you wish. Again, I, not something I would encourage, but do you. But that's usually what women are complaining about. They want to be shaped a certain way, naturally, just can it be, and they want to have like zero stomach, like it's, it's less even about abs right now, but it's about like not having visible fat on the stomach.

And I'm like, wow. I was like, you realize like your body does not compute that like, oh, this, I just wish this piece of skin wasn't like, you can't spot reduce fat. So everything that you all hear when we talk about toxic diet culture. Yeah, toxic diet culture. Um, there it is. Lies. So when you hear someone, a personal trainer, Someone promoting a program.

You know, any of the big companies that did that put diets out. If they're saying get rid of belly flat, uh, belly fat blast, this cellulite. If they're telling you that you can spot reduce fat in your body, and I don't care if they've got those cute computer images where you see fat cells and then they disappear.

It's all lies. Yeah, it's all lies. There is no way. Humanly possible outside of surgery to go and remove fat from certain parts of the body and deposit it in other parts of the body. Cuz that's, that's the thing, like, can you take all this fat off my stomach and get it to my butt? No, we cannot do that. If you're not, you're going not die.

Yeah. That is not how it works. Everybody. If even if you are losing weight, everybody loses weight in different places first. You have zero control over that. Yeah. Um, people gain weight in different places. You have zero control over that. So that is toxic diet culture, getting you to believe that you can do something very specific to your body.

You cannot, you cannot do it. So, um, but yeah, back to your original question, it's usually the stomach fat or the body shape as a whole that women are like, Stressing all about, you know? Yeah. So, and uh, we were talking before we hit record and I, I totally relate because for me it's the stomach. Mm-hmm. It just is.

Mm-hmm. Right. I've always been like, Felt like I've never Right. Felt like it was flat enough. I mean, seriously. Never. And you never will. You never, and yeah, I, I'm just saying this cuz it is a fact, but like in my twenties I would do like runway modeling in LA and so I You have to be skinny mini to do that, right?

You do. Yeah. And I remember. Kind of like you said, looking back at those pictures, I remember even in those stages being like, I gotta get skinnier. Like this isn't good enough that I got, I got. And that industry, that industry in itself is so toxic. But yeah, you're right. You're, you've never been happy with it.

It's like never. And, and then so like we were talking, I just wanted to share this little thing cuz it's a very real, and it was a very raw moment for me. But I was telling Lisa how my family and I, we went to the beach in April. It was Jesse, that's our baby. He's, he's seven months old now. He was six months then, and we took him to the beach for his first trip, and my mother-in-law came with us and I.

You know, I'm, I'm, I'm wearing my one piece because I don't dare get in that bikini, right? Like mm-hmm. A bikini vibe's not ready. That's, you know, what my brain is telling me. So I'm in my one piece and I am having so much fun with ala our daughter. I'm spinning her around, like, kind of like an airplane, right?

We're going really fast. I have her arms and she's like flying. Mm-hmm. And my mother-in-law captures these photos and. And they're beautiful and we're smiling. We're having so much fun, and it's like the sun and the ocean, you know, you can just tell we're having this, like such a connected moment, her and I.

Mm-hmm. But my first reaction was, Ew. Like, look at, look at me in that bathing suit. Like, ugh, like, I, my butt looks flat and my stomach is too big, and you shouldn't even be wearing that one piece, like mm-hmm. And I almost didn't post the pictures. Like, and my family, all my family lives pretty far. I have friends all over the world really.

And so mm-hmm. You know, posting things about my life and family is how everyone stays updated. And I almost was like, you're not posting those because you look so gross. Really? That's what I was telling myself in my head. And then I was like, you know what? No. Like enough is enough. Like you just, mm-hmm.

You have three kids. You have a baby like you, your kids are happy and healthy and you're happy and healthy and like, yeah. What are you doing talking to yourself like this and criticizing like, do I think anyone who's looking at those pictures is going to think that, I mean, I hope not, but like, do I even care that part?

Because anyone who would look at those pictures and think that is a very critical. Not nice, for lack of a better term, human, and they have their own issues, right? Everyone who is reasonably well adjusted and decent people are gonna look at those pictures and see, you know, what, what they really represent is a beautiful moment between a mother and a daughter and, and people living and enjoying their lives as opposed to obsessing over their bodies and refusing to engage in life because their bodies don't look right.

And the beauty of that photo for your daughter one day when you're not here is that that memory is going to be like a warm hug for her. Mm-hmm. And she is going to respect you and love you even more. And it's going to remind and encourage her that her body is good enough in any state. In any state. So the really what you're doing, I know it was hard for you and like to get over your fear, but it was really a gift.

It's a gift you're giving her and the world because people need to see that. Yeah. And a part of when I coach with people, that's a part of what we do. It's normalizing normal bodies. You need to see people in bathing suits. Living their best lives. You need to see your own body. You need to just get used to that being the norm so that you stop idolizing this idea of perfection that you'll never really find.

Maybe you see someone on social media and you think they're perfect. 99.9% of the time they don't think they're perfect. Right? But idolizing these bodies that look one way, it doesn't serve any of us. So seeing normal body so that, you know, I'm, I'm very proud that you did that for yourself or your daughter and for anyone who looks at that photo.

Thank you. You're welcome. Well, and it kind of just goes back to what we were saying, right? Like when does it stop? I don't, like, I don't wanna be in my seventies. I don't wanna honestly be in my forties worried about it. You know? I want to. Be happy inside my body. And, and it, it's so true, right? Like we can't just spot something and be like, get smaller, get bigger, get whatever.

Like, not how it works, right? We are who we are. So like, what is your best, kinda your tip or, you know, anything that you, you really help these women. With embracing and accepting, and not just that, but like starting to love their bodies and mm-hmm. And know, like, these are just, these are incredible, these things that we have.

Right. But they are just the bodies. They are just the shell. They are not Yep. The person. It's just one part of us. One part of us. Right. Um, so a few things. First I like, I want everybody to know this and to make peace with this idea. And you can repeat it after me if you want to. My body is supposed to change.

Like that is just it. We get stuck in this idea of maybe, maybe we did have the body we wanted at one point, who knows, or maybe we realized it later. Like most of us, right? Yeah. We get stuck in this idea that like, oh, this 12th grade or college like this is, oh, this is when. It was perfect. We get stuck in this idea that our bodies are supposed to stay as they have been, have been or were.

Your body is supposed to change when children are born and they grow. First of all, when babies are little, we like fat, right? Fat is all cute then. Yeah. But when you're an adult, somehow you're, it's not cute anymore. Help me make sense of that. Yeah. As babies grow, they grow out of clothes, all right? It's time to go shopping, get new clothes, you know, teenagers or, you know, high middle school students, or, you know, pay through, like, let's get new clothes.

But when it comes to us as adults, oh God, I have to buy another size. Oh my God, I'm just not gonna do, I remember refusing to buy a, a, a bigger size and just squeezing my ass into stuff that didn't fit. How horrible does that make you feel, right? Yeah. So again, going back to this idea and understanding that your body is supposed to change and then treating it with the respect that it deserves as it changes and not, you know, demeaning it, talking bad about it, uh, you know, just putting it down because it's not what it used to be.

So I'd really love for people to understand that. The other thing is I love, and this, these are turned into affirmations, right? My body is supposed to change. The other one is, I am more than a body. So what we talked about, this is just a part of who we are. There's more to us than our bodies. Our bodies are probably the least interesting things about us.

There's so much more to our experiences, the lives we've lived, you know, the people that we are way, way more important and way more exciting than what our bodies look like. When you get those two things, it's much easier to develop a respectful relationship with your body. I tell people to treat their bodies like they treat their best friends.

You don't let your best friend come in and start dogging herself out. Yeah. You're not gonna listen to her say, oh my God, I'm too fat. I'm too this too. You gonna be like, Hey, stop. Yeah, you're beautiful, you're beautiful. Nothing wrong with you, so you have to do that same thing for yourself. You know, maybe we don't have someone in our lives that'll do that for us.

Some people live in very critical situ. I've worked with women who have critical partners, um, who have critical family members, and they are just down in the dumps about their bodies. So, you know what? You have to be your own best friend. You have to talk to yourself and bring yourself out of that, you know, and get some support if you can, coaching therapists and whatnot.

Yeah. But it's really important when you recognize that. Then you change the way you talk to yourself. You change the way you treat yourself, you change the way you let other people talk to you. That's a whole nother thing. Um, and, and then you become, become able to like embrace yourself. And I start with neutrality, right?

Just, just being neutral with my body and just respecting it that I live in it and that it's carried me through three. If you're alive now, you made it through Covid. That's a huge fucking deal. Yeah. You know, if you've carried children, you made it through that huge deal. So just respecting it for what it's done for you and your particular situation.

And if we can get you to positivity where you do really love yourself, awesome. But there's nothing wrong with living in neutrality. There's nothing wrong with living there and being like, you know what? I may not look in the mirror and think I'm the hottest thing walking, but I respect myself. I care for myself and I treat myself well.

I'm happy with that. Like yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You go wherever you need to go, but you have options and that is a lot better than looking at yourself in the mirror and you know, doing what a lot of us do. Yep. Criticizing. Yeah, and it's so true too. You know, it's like it. Not just from childhood, but like you said, even just like generations.

Mm-hmm. Behind, you know, being fat and overweight actually used to be like a thing of prestige because it meant that you could afford food. Right. That part. So the fatter you were the. The better off you were because everyone else was like skin and bones and starving, you know? Mm-hmm. And, and it is crazy.

It changed along the way, but also, yeah, it kind of, how we were talking, it kind of becomes your identity and it does you just, right. Like. The skin, the skinny mini one, you know, and you can eat so much food and you don't gain any weight and da, da, da. It's like, well, I'm 12. I'm 12. Right? I come from a, a tiny people, you know, like, you know what?

I'm so glad you said that because you're right. It starts in childhood. And so I have a very strict rule with my children and adults. Don't talk about my children's bodies. Don't talk about because that's where it started for me. Yeah. I was 11. I started my menstrual cycle at 11. My body developed, I had boobs, I had hips, I had, and everybody.

You know, inappropriate ass grown men as and, and even grown women, felt at liberty to discuss my body, to make comments, to ask questions, and it made me extremely self-conscious. It made me feel like, oof, I need to hide. I need to cover up, I need to change. And my dieting started probably between the ages of 13 and 14 because of unsolicited.

Advice, unsolicited comments. And so I'm very strict about that with my kids because we, we fuck up people's body images by engaging with them as children. Yeah. And making them see some, because when they're little, they don't have that, all of that shit is taught, you know? Yeah. So I'm very strict about that.

But you're 100% right. We, we hear these things and then we. Internalize them. I was the fitness girl. I was the girl always running. I ran, I'm really short, but I ran distance and people knew me for being a runner. People knew me for eating salads and being super healthy and working out every day. And so when I broke up with diet culture, I lost a part of my identity and there was a grieving there, right?

Because I was no longer gonna be that person. People would come to me and be like, oh yeah, I know I need to work out. And you know, I would be like, well, let me help you. And now it's like, Uhuh, you don't have to be shame like, yeah, I skipped many days working. I haven't worked out this. As a matter of fact, there's no shame in that anymore, but it's a process, right?

Because you're unraveling these layers. Of who you were and who people looked at you to be. And now it's like, okay, I'm not that girl anymore. That doesn't mean I'm not still fit and healthy, and I enjoy exercise and I value movement, and I love to nourish my body with good foods, but I'm not the one like pointing a finger anymore and telling you what you need to do and being super strict and rigid because really, if I'm being honest, I was participating in a lot of disordered behaviors to try to maintain an image.

Yeah. And it's very liberating to not be there anymore. Yeah. But also a process. And there's grieving again with it, so. I love that. And you know, too, just going back, um, you know, to like being school-aged girls and, you know, I remember I couldn't just from seeing all of the actresses on tv, like I couldn't wait to get boobs, you know, it was like, right.

And I didn't get them till like 10th grade, you know? And then once summer I got 'em and I came back to school, right. And then it was like, Ooh, who, who's that? Right? And it's, and they weren't ever like big or anything, but there were just enough, you know? Yeah. And, But it's like we want to, and then you on the flip side of it, right, going through that so young and then having people comment on it and then trying to hide it because you're thinking that it's something bad, I please like take that advice.

Do not comment on your children's bodies like mm-hmm. We already, the world will kind of already show it will kids these things anyways, and they don't need to hear it from parents and family members and friends. It's like, it's enough, you know? Right. It is. And it's just, that is so important and. I don't know.

I'm just, I'm so grateful for this conversation. I would love for you to share anything with our audience of like what you have coming up, where you're gonna be, yeah. Where they can find you. Of course, we were also gonna share all this stuff in the show notes, guys, but you know, just please, please, please let them know all of the things you have coming.

Yeah. Thank you. So I live on Instagram, that's my happy place. So I'm at Healthy Fit, and Fit is spelled P H I T. Um, same thing for my website, uh, healthy fit.com. And I do so I offer, uh, my services are virtual and in person. I'm in Charlotte, North Carolina. So if you need physical therapy, if you have an injury or you need help recovering, if you.

Uh, sustained an injury and you have a history of eating disorders. I am the only therapist in Charlotte who actually works with people, um, in that, that area, that niche, which is really important because when you're trying to recover physically from something and you have that sort of emotional thing going on with the eating disorder recovery, it's really important that you recover in a safe space.

Yeah. Um, so I'm happy to be your provider for that located in the South Park area. And again, that's, um, virtual and in person if you're in north, in South Carolina. And then for the coaching, I do, uh, one-on-one coaching. So I have different coaching packages and I run a group every quarter where I have a small group, no more than 10 women or people I should say.

Mm-hmm. Um, where we go through some of the process to breaking up with diet culture. So we talk about intuitive eating and joyful movement and, you know, movement modifications and self care and. So many things. Body image is, is huge. So we talk through all of that in a small group setting. I'll be running another group, um, in August, but for now, like I said, one-on-one coaching is an option.

So, yay. That is all so amazing. I love. Well, Lisa, thank you so, so much. I don't know if there is one more thing you kind of wanna leave with our audience and then I'll let you get back to your day. I know we are busy mamas here, but I just wanna say thank you. This was a, an amazing conversation and, and I'm super excited for everybody to hear it.

Yeah, thank you. No, I'm just excited, um, you know, to have had the conversation with you. Um, I, I just love these opportunities to tell more people about, about this work. So, um, I guess I would just say, you know, take those affirmations of my body is supposed to change and I am more than a body and really live them.

You know, work them into your daily life. Write 'em down, put 'em on your mirror. Say it as often as you need to, and if you want help with this process. Cause it's not easy. You know, I'm here, I'm here and I answer dms, so shoot me a message. Like if you just have a question. I, my goal is to help as many people break up with tox, toxic diet culture as humanly possible.

So I, if, you know, if you need help, I'm here. Yay. Well, thank you so much and thank you everybody for listening. We will, uh, catch you on the flip side everybody. Thank you. Thank you.