The Power of Play

Who would have thought that the years of all-day bike riding, drinking from the garden hose, and crawdad fishing could be as important as they actually were? In a very serious world, we learn how important it is to take time to play. Cydni discusses Peter Gray's research findings on how mammals must play in order to survive. That is why she takes playing so seriously. Sher teaches us about Buffalo Moments and stands behind the idea of not more school but better school. Today, we kick up our feet, relax, and use science to encourage a little more laughter and a little more play. Today’s episode is "The Power of Play," and we are so glad you are here.

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We challenge you to actively and deliberately have more fun. Experience more joy right now, no matter your circumstances. Come up with your own idea to encourage others to have fun, or leave an anonymous positive note for someone to find that will brighten their day.

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Show Notes

Drip-Drip Drop, Words and  Music by  Matt Hoiland
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Transcript

Episode 61 - The Power of Play

Cydni: [00:00:00] this is Cydni and 

Sher: I'm Sher. And each week we get together to share with you a message of hope.

Cydni: It is through our own study and our personal experiences that we offer the reminder to not only seek the light, 

Sher: but be the light. You can find peace and there is hope

Cydni: and as long as one of us is slightly caffeinated, there will be laughter. 

Sher: Today's episode is the power of play 

Cydni: And we're so glad you are here 

Sher: Alright, Cydni, today we're going to talk about the power of play. So, what have you got over there? 

Cydni: you know what I love so much is when you and I do an outline and we talk about what we're going to say and then we get to the mic and I don't follow it at all. 

Sher: Yeah, that's my favorite too.

Cydni: It just brings me so much joy. I'm like, okay, yes, I'm listening. Look at this organized adult outline. And then I'm like, bam, just kidding. I wasn't listening. I was doodling. 

Sher: This happens every episode. 

Cydni: Every time. And it reminded me of a [00:01:00] time when I used to be relevant on Twitter. Back in the day. And one of my personal favorite tweets, cause this was real life with me and Ben.

I said, Hey, do you want to role play? And he said, what do you have in mind? And I said, I'll be a new girlfriend. You're a single dad with full custody of your kids. It's too soon to introduce me. So I can't meet them yet. We get into a fight and it's all your fault. We aren't speaking, but you leave food on my door.

That was it. That's perfect. I was like, you want to role play that? So you just don't talk to me and take your kids, but leave me food. He said, no, I was like, how are we going to spice this up? If you don't role play, that's what I thought of Am I doing a good job? 

Sher: Yes. So far. I love it, Cydni. This is exactly what we talked about. 

Cydni: We did talk about when's the last time you've had a good belly laugh. And for myself, I laugh at my own jokes all of the time. I was like, that's easy. But let's stick to the outline, Sher okay. When is the last time you've had a good belly laugh, other than my amazing tweet I just shared that's now irrelevant?

Sher: Hold on, I can't stop laughing from that. That was so funny. 

Cydni: It's not even Twitter [00:02:00] anymore. I'm a pioneer.

Sher: I think last night I had a good chuckle, because we had a family dinner and we're all at the table eating our food, obviously, and somebody brought up a story that cannot be repeated on this microphone. Blake. 

Cydni: That's how you know it's a good belly laugh. Right there. I already believe you. 

Sher: But I'm going to protect him and his story. But seriously, Blake, that's all I have to say. 

Cydni: If you are sitting around a dinner table with family, friends, and you're laughing so hard at stories you cannot re share. That is a perfect night. 

Sher: Yeah, you don't need anything else. What about you? Besides that tweet. 

Cydni: Other than my own joke. I was thinking because I don't have a problem having fun or playing. In fact, this is a conflict in our marriage, that Ben wants to teach the kids to work first and then play.

And I say, but what if you don't have time for it? Both. So then you should just play, is my opinion, which is why our house is a disaster and I'm constantly trying to keep up with it because I don't have priorities straight, or do I? According to science, [00:03:00] I might. 

Sher: Way to justify yourself. 

Cydni: Thank you. But I do sometimes have a difficult time just relaxing and letting loose and not getting so frazzled because I haven't got any of my work done, but that aside, we did just go to Lagoon, which is the amusement park around here. And there's a specific roller coaster I have gotten out of riding for about five years because I was too scared.

Sher: What was it? 

Cydni: Cannibal. 

Sher: You haven't dared to go on it. 

Cydni: No, I've been too scared. 

Sher: Seriously, I'm the old lady in this group and I've been on it multiple times, Cydni. I had to go on that ride with a student who was a creeper. Because he wanted to make sure he rode that ride with me. So, everybody got a good laugh out of that, that I was stuck on the cannibal with him. 

Cydni: Maybe you just felt safe. He's like, she's a strong woman. , if the bar comes up, she'll hold me down. 

Sher: No, I'd let him fly right off. 

Cydni: Yeah, but he didn't believe that. So maybe that's why. Cause I was like, will my eight year old daughter hold me in if things come to it? But I don't think she would, [00:04:00] but I will say that I did get on it and I had the best time. The other eight year old we brought was like, Cyd open your eyes. And I was like, shut up, I did not say that to her out loud, but 

Sher: I didn't open my eyes cause I didn't want to see who I was sitting next to him and his little creeper 

Cydni: Hey, they're starting to grow at that stage. Boys start to grow their little mustaches around what 13, 14 and then us women in our late 30s anyway, that's the most recent time that I had a good belly laugh, but I will say I have a problem where I think things are funny that nobody else laughs at. I find that as a thing. I'll find myself laughing during church or inappropriate times because someone said something that in my head I thought was really funny. Well, my dad He cries a lot. My dad's a crier. I think that's where I get it. And his 

Sher: your dad's a crier That's where you get your laughter from. 

Cydni: No my crying. I also cry. I cry and I laugh. I'm very balanced human I play a lot. I cry a lot. I laugh a lot 

Sher: Okay. Ta da. I'm tracking now. That was all over the place. 

Cydni: I don't know how you're tracking [00:05:00] anything because here I'm going with a different story than we talked about again. But I remember, my dad's he has this cry, but it sounds like a laugh.

Which is fine unless we were sitting in when Lion King first came out and the dad dies, my dad lost his cool. He was sitting in theater full of people and it sounded like he was laughing. Oh no. What a weirdo. He was sobbing, but it was like, ah, and I thought that was so funny.

It was the only thing that got me through because that is a very sad scene, but he wasn't laughing. He was crying. He was crying at the appropriate time, but it sounded like laughter. Anyway, 

Sher: I hope we all followed that. Yeah. It's funny. We all got there eventually, 

Cydni: but laughter has been easy for me and I do think of times when I was growing up. One thing we did at future business leaders of America was We had a great time playing there. We would go to colleges for the programs, you know, the Future Business Leaders of America program. This is going to make sense, Sher. Stop looking at the outline. But one thing we would do is we'd [00:06:00] pretend we would pull pranks on people. All of the time, the college students, we'd skip our testing and we'd go play. And one thing that we really like to do is I would pretend to tie my shoe and then this guy, Nate would come behind me and grab my purse and take off running. That was hilarious. Nobody helped us ever. that's not hilarious. No, it was so funny to us. We had a great laugh. And then we also like to sit by people and take pictures and then leave obviously we only had a disposable camera.

Sher: You should be stuck on Cannibal with my creeper student after that 

Cydni: yeah, probably. But hey, it was a good time. We had no problem playing . But the topic today, just in case you're lost, is play. 

Sher: Thank you, because I just got that you're a hoodlum. So far, that's what I've got out of this whole thing.

Cydni: Play is so important. I listen to TED Talks about it, so I know that it is important. And one girl, she was talking about things she did when she was growing up, she said that she would leave little notes around. Town all over. Just handwritten notes to help people have something to remember to be happy about and I loved that so much. It's way nicer than pretending that my purse got stolen. So I just thought I'd tie [00:07:00] those two together. 

Sher: You're taking random photos of people. 

Cydni: Oh, it's funny. 

Sher: I'm surprised you didn't get beat up. 

Cydni: Well, we were fast. 

Sher: I'm just telling you right now, don't do that at my school because you would end up in trouble.

Cydni: Nowadays it's not no, you can't do that. That was back then when you could do stuff like that. Remember Candid Camera. We just made our own. Got it. Because we didn't have iPads. Or friends. 

Sher: I can see why. 

Cydni: So honestly, this is what the problem is right now. This is why I'm not following the outline. I love play. I love it. I love this topic. I've been more excited than someone else. I won't say who, but a co host. Guess which one? I've been so excited that I can't even stop talking right now, which is fine because it's a podcast, but let's talk about what is play Sher.

Oh, I just got back on track. As usual, play from Urban Dictionary, but I found a good one. The interaction between two or more human beings. With a desire to not act to their age. I love that one. That's a good definition. Because when you think of play, and I mean, I just did it. I mostly talked about my childhood. 

Sher: The reason I like that [00:08:00] definition is it brought to mind, I have a couple of friends that, I was friends with them when I was young. So one, I met her when I was seven and another one I was 19, 18 or 19. And I'm not kidding, when we are together, it's like we revert back to when we were teenagers. In both situations, we laugh a lot more, everything is funnier, and it's ridiculous. So I agree with that. When I'm around, especially those two, I do not act my age because it's like I just revert back to when I was a teenager again.

Cydni: That's important 

Sher: for me to act like a teenager. 

Cydni: Yes, it is. There was a lot of research done on play, and one guy who I will refer to often because I really enjoyed everything he said, Peter Gray, he said that after studies, he would say that play is self controlled, And self directed, and that's really important, and we'll discuss that later. And they also concluded at the end of studies that the opposite of play might not be what you think it is. When I first [00:09:00] asked myself, what is the opposite of play to myself, I would have said, work and I asked you, Sher, and you said, lazy. Which was interesting. I like that. It got me thinking over here. 

Sher: I'm glad that we're thinking. 

Cydni: Yes. And he would say that the opposite of play is depression. Which I found very interesting. 

Sher: That is, that's sad that people are too sad to play.

Cydni: So what we want to know. Is why is play important? 

Sher: One of the things that I thought about when I thought of play is, laughing, because we talked about when was the last time that you've had a good laugh.

And so I was kind of dwelling on that one at first, play does give you the opportunity to bring out laughter. so I looked up something from the Mayo Clinic, this is just talking strictly about laughter, but they said in the short term, if you have a good laugh, it enhances your intake of oxygen rich air, which stimulates your heart, lungs, muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released into your brain.

But not only that, it activates and relieves your stress response, and it [00:10:00] also soothes. tension that you might be feeling. Those are the short term effects, but the long term effects It improves your immune system, it can relieve pain, and laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations , and it helps you connect with other people. Laughter can also help you lessen your stress, depression, anxiety, and it may even make you feel happier, and it can also improve your self esteem.

And just speaking for myself, laughter has always helped me. I think I found a reason to laugh every single day that I was teaching in the classroom, because It made it so that the pain I was suffering, being there all day, just kidding, it made it easier to bear if I was laughing my way through it, if I could find a reason to laugh and enjoy the moment, it made my job easier, it made everything lighter and just more fun in my classroom, which made me feel happier. But something I wanted to focus on is how important play is for kids. Now I can only speak, from a middle school brain. The age I taught 7th, 8th, [00:11:00] and 9th graders.

mainly 8th and 9th graders. And I've noticed a few things. They keep taking electives out of school. And they also keep taking fun activities and assemblies that we used to do at school together. So, I just started thinking because of this topic. We used to have these little contests between the grades called Mini Olympics. We used to do that twice a year and we had a huge assembly for it. We teachers vs. students volleyball games, basketball games, softball games. We had a fun assembly of some type at least every single quarter. And we've stopped doing almost all of those. I was thinking that my last year teaching, the only thing we did was the mini Olympics and it was on the last day of school. And that was pretty much it. We had a few other things, . But most of the things that we did is like a whole school, just enjoying all the school together. Those have pretty much been taken out. And then also, like I said, they've taken out elective classes. So what they've done is they keep adding intervention classes. And what intervention classes are is if you have like a low reading score, then they're going to give you another [00:12:00] reading class. Or if you have low math scores, they're going to give you another math class. So if you have low scores in reading and math, you just got an extra two classes of reading and math. So there's no room in your schedule for an elective class. So it's just straight academics. there's pros and cons to this. I totally understand that. I don't want to start a debate with that. You can agree or disagree with the interventions. But the con. is those kids don't have any electives and it puts students in academic classes all day. from my point of view, I just have a simple question, so you know where I am coming from. Have the test scores gone up since they've started adding these intervention classes? Or have they gotten lower? Or has their behavior gotten worse? Are more teachers leaving the profession or staying? I'm just asking. You sure brought a playful mood to this episode, Sher thank you. What I'm saying though is that we're taking away these opportunities for the kids to have music or art or wood shop or P. E. by taking that away. Test [00:13:00] scores have lowered. Behavior has gotten worse, and there are more teachers leaving the profession. You brought the questions and the answers. I did. Bam! But I'm sure some researcher out there that's in education theory is like, Well, that's not necessarily true. I don't care. I'm in the classroom, person. Stay at your desk. 

Cydni: But Cher, I did bring that person's perspective that you just mentioned and told to stay in his desk.

And you might be surprised with what he said. He said that there's a lot of studies now, but he lived it like you. In the 1950s, just kidding, that was hilarious, belly laugh, belly laugh, but really he did say that in the 1950s, there's a few differences with schools. One is that they were five weeks shorter, which meant more summer. And he also said school was six hours a day, but two of those hours were recess. They had a 30 minute break in the morning to just play and they had an hour lunch and another. 30 minutes to play later in the day, he said. At no time did they ever [00:14:00] spend a whole hour sitting in a classroom. 

Sher: That'd be so lovely. 

Cydni: If you don't mind me going back a little bit to the reasons why play is so important, let me add a little bit of what he said, because they actually researched young mammals playing to see how they survived what they found is that Mammals that played, developed physically and they developed survivor skills.

They also learned how to play together. They learned to work out problems and how to share ideas. And also they learned about rejection which helped them learn resilience. They also learned how to take risk and experience fear in a place where they could overcome fear. And so he said, what we're doing is taking all of this away from children. We're not letting them develop this and we're seeing the consequences of it. He said that in studies where they deprived animals of play, mostly rats and monkeys, , that socially and emotionally, they were crippled. That's a strong word. That is not a playful word. 

Sher: No. just by not allowing kids to go [00:15:00] out and have fun and be free, An unstructured time, it's crippling them. 

Cydni: Yes. He said that childhood has turned from a time of freedom to a time of resume building. 

Sher: That's true. That hurts my heart a little. I'm part of that resume building. 

Cydni: I just think back on my life when I was growing up and how often people would say to me, do that. It will be good on your resume. I was like, you guys don't know, but I will one day be a college dropout. 

Sher: I was one of the adults probably saying it to you. 

Cydni: When I was a child. Yeah. Age gap. 

Sher: It's true. I mean, it's not even funny. That's just fact. 

Cydni: So I just wanted you to know that the studies are aligning with the lived experiences. 

Sher: Yeah, absolutely. I also, one of the things that my teacher friends and I would get on soapboxes about is how they run the schools in other countries. The example I want to give is schools in Sweden. I just want to make it clear that Sweden is another country, but their population is the same size as just one of our states. So I looked it up and it's about the same size as [00:16:00] North Carolina. So just kind of keep that in mind. It would be like comparing states, not our whole entire country. this is what they value in Sweden. They value time spent outdoors, especially time spent by the children in free, unrestricted play. Cities and schools allow families and students easy access to play spaces. And both indoor and outdoor spaces in Sweden encourage creativity, imagination, and motor skills development. And finally, Swedish teachers and parents encourage more independent and risky play for children. Which builds character, strength, and resilience. so, if a kid falls down there's no one there they have to get up and figure it out. And go about their day. 

Cydni: can I just say they don't have to just learn to go about their day. They learn that they can go about their day. 

Sher: Perfect. Yep. I'm glad you said that. So the reason I wanted to tell you what was valued in Sweden when it comes to play is because here's some information about their schools. the average preschooler Spends about an hour and a half outside every single [00:17:00] day on a bad weather day in the winter.

Cydni: What? Right? Oh my gosh. I'm mind blown. 

Sher: I know. In Sweden. Which would be like in Alaska 

Cydni: I actually kept track and I spent an hour and a half outside this whole entire winter. Right? Running to my car. It adds up quickly. For months. 

Sher: But on a nice day in the summer. Those preschool kids are outside about six hours a day.

Six hours. And the results. Outdoor play improves overall behavior, social skills, self-control, attention, social interaction, creativity, mental focus, collaborative play. Children show less inhibition and more assertiveness. They feel freer to express themselves outdoors, and it reduces aggression and stress. But wait, there's more. Please tell me. If it's unrestricted free outdoor play, that also decreases inhibition. Instances of bullying, decreases injury, but it increases creativity, improves focus, the ability to cut out distractions More [00:18:00] self control and more positive emotions and expressions. But that's all. But that's all. That's it. 

Cydni: Well, I'm rethinking my entire life right now. 

Sher: I did the same thing because when I read that. I got focused on the hour and a half outside every day in the middle of winter. And I grew up in that generation where everyone was outside all day still, even in the winter, like we were outside all the time. So I was just thinking when I read that, I was like, I can't believe that they would let their preschool child outside in the middle of winter for an hour and a half. And then I thought, this is how much that I have changed since I was that age, because I remember having snow in my boots, and having my hair frozen, and I remember coming in and just thinking it was funny. And now, if I had snow in my boots and my hair was frozen, I would be sad and come in the house and watch TV. So, I have changed. That's how much I've changed. I think our society has changed is because when I really thought about it when I was little, that is what I did. I was outside playing in the [00:19:00] snow as soon as it started to snow. I was that kid. 

Cydni: Does it count if my kids take 90 minutes to get their snow gear on? Sure, they stay outside for 15 minutes, but there was that effort. It was an attempt and yes, it counts. And then it takes an hour and a half to get there. For me to clean up the mess. That's all true. That's all a good time. That's real stats right there. Woohoo. We love to play. But I do think though thinking when I was a child, I spent a good 30 minutes looking through couches to find 50 cents to then bike to the pool, which I did not know how to swim at all. And I would pay to get in and we would swim, mostly not drowned for hours. And that was an Arizona weather. So. Now, I remember the last time I got off the airplane in July in Arizona, and I think I died. I just came back to life when there was air conditioning. So maybe, maybe I'm just going to say that there's seasons for things too. Like I am not going to spend an hour and a half in cold weather right now in my life. I could use my talents elsewhere, like a nice spa day, but my [00:20:00] kids can get their butts out there and play. Yeah. So it's okay if you don't want to have cold, wet hair if you're above 22. If you're 21 and under, you need to get out there for your well being. I really like how we've taken this. That's good. That's from a tED Talk. Yeah. My TED Talk right now. It's all scientific. All of it. But other than us getting older, there's other reasons that play has declined and this is specific to children and our perspective on school that people think we need more school Which is what you saw that electives are taken away instead of that they're given more school when in reality it is shown through several studies done in different approaches the outcomes the same they need those electives That's where you learn creativity and your talents because I don't know the last time that I used math The Chick fil a app does it for me? But He did say that school has become such a focus in our society, and he additionally said, Our view of childish play has changed. No longer is it go play, fall off your bike, [00:21:00] get back up, drink out of the hose, and carry on with your day. We did some crawdad fishing with hot dogs as well. I think that should be added back into the curriculum. 

Sher: I do too. I did that with my dad. Did you? Yeah, absolutely. Feels happy. 

Cydni: Yeah, it does. Get in that ditch. . But he said that we no longer feel that freedom, which you spoke about just feeling free. Now it's societies believe that children learn best from adults, which is a complete and total lie because I'm an adult and I know nothing. And I'm sure there's someone out there who feels the same. We're all just trying to figure it out, another one he mentioned was the spread of fear, specifically irrational fear. Of course there's fear out there and there is an element of that you should listen to and you have to take precaution. But We have screens in our faces even when we're out and about now. We are seeing either an amazing tornado that's a level five or someone's been kidnapped or there's this fighting or that fighting or this happening and it's constantly in our faces, which makes it feel like it's happening [00:22:00] all of the time and some of it is happening all of the time, but there's a lot of good out there that we're missing and we're living in fear instead of freedom and play, which is negatively impacting our Children.

Sher: That reminds me of a quote that Benjamin Franklin said. who give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

With just not playing as much as we used to, we are giving up a little bit of that liberty because we want to be safe and we don't want to free and have fun in a good and positive way. Not like Cydni who is running around college campuses torturing college students. Not like that. Not now. It was when I was 14. I don't know if I believe that.

Cydni: I can't run . it is true that we are trying to live in such a safe environment that we're giving up play and what we do when we give up play is we give up the ability to develop physically and to develop skills that are necessary for survival. What they're finding with the decline of play is the increase of mental illnesses. [00:23:00] And they are seeing an alarming rate going up. Of major depression among young Children. I'm talking 10 and under major depression they're seeing increased levels of anxiety. Suicide rates are going up. And this is because of a decline in the feeling of self control. As he defined play as self controlled and self directed, and when you take away the sense of control, you take away all the character development that they get from play. And he also says there's a rise in narcissism , a decline in empathy, a decline in creativity and creative thinking. 

Sher: This is. Not playful and not fun right now because, this really hurts my heart because I saw that over my 32 years of teaching. I saw that increase as you're saying it, I am thinking of students in my head who you are just describing and it makes me so sad because these are great kids and I just want to see them happy. So let's talk about how can we put play back into our lives. 

Cydni: And also let's add into the fact that this isn't really just about the children. This is about us as well. Because when you were [00:24:00] talking about living in a state of fear and missing out I did think of. How many years I went without riding the roller coaster I was too afraid of riding because honestly, it was my favorite one. 

Sher: I'm a little shocked that you were such a chicken. I'm not gonna lie. I wanted to be 

Cydni: safe. I was scared. The things that we're talking about. It's a real feeling. I'm a human. But , not all is lost. We do need to add more play into our adult lives I can look back in my life at times where I have become so serious in the beginning of my long term stay in the hospital, I was very serious and I would stare at a wall blankly. It was terrible. And then one day I decided to start watching stand up comedy and that saved my butt. I just sat alone in a bedroom and laughed out loud listening to people tell good jokes. I thought, you know, that was something that helped me to take a serious situation and lighten it up a little bit. And we have to add work. Work is just as important for character building as play. But what this could do is it can inspire us to be [00:25:00] more playful. in the tasks that have to be done. There's no reason that we can't accomplish the work that we must do with a playful attitude. And that will benefit us so greatly physically, spiritually, emotionally, and benefit those around us. 

Sher: I have these great memories I don't know if I thought they were great at the time But we did chores every Saturday and how I would wake up as my mom would put on Her favorite records and she'd turn the music up really loud and I could just hear my mom singing as she was working and that's what would wake me up. Now, I didn't want to get up because I didn't want to do chores, but I knew that I could just sing along and as soon as we got the work done, then we would be able to go do something fun. Usually. 

Cydni: I love that makes you happy because recently Iyana talked about that I like to do kind of stuff like that and it embarrasses her and makes her want to die inside. So I'm glad somebody's daughter liked it because my daughter's like, Oh my gosh, please stop. Maybe one day.

Sher: I was probably like her when I was that age too, but someday she'll appreciate it. Thanks for that hope. One of the things I thought about when we were talking [00:26:00] about how to put play back into our lives as adults is something that I did learn from my mom and dad. Now, my mom and dad did have a few moments where they were like, Oh my gosh, get me out of here. But for the most part. They just loved being wherever they were at that time. They loved being with the family. They loved being present. They were there in the moment, enjoying their time with family and friends. President Uchtdorf said, we shouldn't wait to be happy until we reach some future point only to discover that happiness was already available. Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. This is the day which the Lord has made, the psalmist wrote. Rejoice and be glad in it. And I'm so grateful that I have parents and other family members that are great examples of being able to rejoice and being glad in the moment. 

Cydni: that reminds me during COVID it was a very serious time. A lot of people were very stressed, stuck at home completely out of a normal routine. It was a lot for a lot of people. There was a man [00:27:00] who put out a video that got over 12. 5 million views and it was the most ridiculous video. But in a time of so much intense feelings and unknown, he put out a video that had a catchy song and all he was doing was skateboarding along the highway, drinking a crayon raspberry juice. when you watched it, I liked that you said, I think it's just that he looks so free. I thought that goes so well because it's so simple. I know this is a very simple illustration but someone who put out a video of him just breezing down the freeway, drinking out of a juice bottle, jamming to some music made over 12 million people happy.

And it was so simple, and I thought he is not in a different situation than any of us, right? But the difference was how he was handling it. It was, I'm going to get out there, be free, and be happy, right now. It is a choice.

Sher: It is a choice. And I did love that video. I remember watching it during COVID. It just makes you happy. You did? 

Cydni: [00:28:00] Yeah. I didn't know you also saw it. 

Sher: I only said that like three times while we were preparing this and you didn't listen to me. That's okay. I don't feel hurt. Or anything. It's 

Cydni: fine. I just thought. You didn't, but in 12 million people, I could see how we both could have seen it. The math is adding up now. 

Sher: So one of the things that I thought of I was thinking about enjoying the moment. Is the last, I don't know, 10 years of teaching. Maybe, I don't know how long it was. I had two different groups of students. So, one group was my gifted and talented students from all over the district, and then my other group of students were from a low economic area. Now my gifted and talented students were always present with their learning. And they were always creative with their learning in their And they loved a good dad joke. they could get me off track. Every kid's goal is to get their teacher off track. And they would always try to get me off track with questions. they would just keep going and going and going. But they were always present and enjoying that moment of learning. but on the other side, my students that have grown [00:29:00] up with less, They were always present in conversations.

If I had a conversation just one on one with those kids, they were always present and enjoying the moment. They were always creative with their survival skills, and although they do like a good dad joke, those kids are hilarious. It's like their humor was more advanced. They could get me off track with their sense of humor. I can't even tell you how many times that I would be laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face because those kids were so darn funny. And their families, they can't afford to buy entertainment for their children, but you can tell that they have been together With adults, with aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, all together as a family and that they have enjoyed the moment together and they've caught on to this more of a advanced sense of humor being with their family and it shows up in class and I have moments etched into my heart of sheer laughter and joy because they were just so darn funny and I learned a lot about being in the moment and [00:30:00] enjoying the little things from all of my students. Now, obviously some of them from both groups needed a good kick in the butt, but the vast majority of them, that's what I saw in them. Whether it be Learning or trying to get me off task with something that was hilarious. They both were enjoying that moment, and I learned a lot from that. Years ago I took my students who, a lot of them had never been an hour away from where they grew up. And we went more than an hour away on a field trip they were all excited about it And the bus driver was just driving along and the kids saw Some buffalo out the window and they all freaked out and they all started screaming. There's a buffalo there's a buffalo and they were pulling their phones out and taking photos and selfies and they're all laughing and having such a good time and finally the bus driver just pulled over He let him take photos and he was loving the moment now the reason this is important is because the bus driver was on a very strict schedule and he had to get back in order to pick up the kids that were leaving school that day and so [00:31:00] he had to get out of there, but he pulled over and we sat there for a good 15 minutes and I said, do we need to get going? And he said, yes, we do. But , I love this so much. He said, it was so good to see the kids happy and loving and enjoying the moment. And he said, I'll just tell him I got stuck in traffic because even the bus driver loved that moment. That's just a time that will always be etched in my heart of watching those students have sheer joy and happiness for that brief Fifteen minutes where we're looking at the stupid buffalo, but it was so fun and so great and that's what I'm talking about It's just those moments of sheer happiness we know life Is a kick in the pants, but when those moments happen, enjoy it and don't try to rush it pull over like the bus driver did and say, I'm going to be late and it's okay. I'm going to enjoy what is happening right now and cherish that moment of sheer happiness. 

Cydni: I'm so glad you shared that. Think of that next time your kid's late on the bus. Maybe the bus driver is having a Buffalo moment. Maybe you need to have more [00:32:00] Buffalo moments in your life. We all need more Buffalo moments and I'm going to use that forever now when there's people bothering me in the grocery store or driving, I'm just going to say maybe they were having a Buffalo moment. 

Sher: Yeah. And it's all 

Cydni: right. It is. All right. We need more Buffalo moments. Let's do this. At the end of Peter Gray's talk, he shared some solutions as well. He said, step number one, admit that we've done this to ourselves. You have to take responsibility that if your life is not full of play, it's your fault. And as a society, Schools are the way they are because of us, and we have to take responsibility. 

Sher: Thank you for not blaming it on the teachers. 

Cydni: Also, he said it's the teacher's fault entirely. Trust me, the teachers do not want all of this. He said we need to pay them less. They're overpaid and underworked. I know those rotten teachers. It's all their fault. That's not what he said at all. But he said if we could just take some responsibility and our situations that we are in, then we could start to have some control and change it. He also said to examine our priorities. What do you want for our children? [00:33:00] Do you really want more school or do you want better schools? And what can you do in your community to help with that? 

Sher: That's an important one because do you want more school and have the schools babysit? I mean, really that's kind of what I heard in COVID over and over is we need a babysitter or do you want to change the system? I 

Cydni: kind of want a babysitter. should I be honest? I know. That's why the school's like it is. okay. He said to get to know your neighbors. It is in neighborhoods that kids develop friendships. When Rock was starting school, I was so focused and my priority was on the education system and on what education he would receive. For the first three grades of his life, I had him in probably seven. Schools. Seven. Judge. It's true. I did it because my priorities were entirely wrong. I wanted him to have the best education. So we tried schools where we paid. We tried schools that were charter schools and I even had to get a job at one of them. It was the worst. They were like, will you please do the task that we've given you? And I was like, [00:34:00] will you stop yelling at me? I cannot add this to my life. And we tried so many things and I was praying with all my might to find the right school, find the right school, find the right school. Please God, show me what the right school is so he could get that education. And then one day it came to my mind that I was praying for the wrong thing. what I needed to pray for was that Rock would find the right friends. that would impact his life more than anything else. I did not like that answer because I wanted him to go to the right school, but I had picked a school that was about a 25 minute drive each way with the other two at home still. And it was a disaster. So I opened my mind up to praying about this and I prayed that we would find a school where Rock would have good friends. Then the following Sunday, the bishop asked if I would come into his office. He wanted to chat with me for a second. this was a little bit of a surprise. I wasn't expecting to talk to the bishop, but he sat me down and he said, I've been thinking about your family. And he said, I wanted you to know something I've learned. That the school doesn't matter. [00:35:00] As much as the kids that your son will be around, and this has been on my mind, it's come to my heart for you several times, obviously I'm not in a position to make a decision like this for your family, but it won't leave me, and I wanted you to know that our neighborhood is full of really, really good kids and really good families, and from my experience that the kids that are happy and playing outside with kids that they know from the neighborhood do the best. so much. And I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I know I need to tell you, and I just wanted you to know that our neighborhood school is fantastic. But above all, the neighborhood kids are amazing. And I was like, is God trying to tell me something? And with that, Rock went to our nice little neighborhood school. And since this, Rock has had the best group of friends I could have possibly dreamed of. They get together on the weekends for game nights at different people's houses. They put their phones away, kind of, sometimes. And they actually play volleyball and kickball. And they play together in large groups of really good kids. I think that this has helped me the most sometimes all of this feels [00:36:00] really out of control. How do we change the school system? How do we do this better? How do we do that better? But sometimes we just have to go for the low hanging fruit first and for my family, that was the shift that needed to happen, and it has blessed his life so much and mine, too, because I now have friends. Thanks to rock having friends, I've got to know parents and really good families, and it was all because my priority shifted. So the get to know your neighbors one really did touch my heart because it's such a simple little thing to start doing. So maybe it just starts with a simple shift in our prayers. But there are things that are in our reach that we can do to add play back into our own personal lives and into the life of the children around us.

Sher: for our final thoughts, President Uchtdorf said we shouldn't wait to be happy until we reach some future point. The psalmist wrote, rejoice and be glad in it. There are so many physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits, play and laughter. And with this, we can try to stay present and be in the moment and enjoy the family and your friends [00:37:00] and enjoy those buffalo moments that happen in your life because those truly are just so good for your soul. And that. It doesn't require an age limit. It doesn't matter how old or how young, you can always just enjoy the moment where things make your soul so happy. 

Cydni: Our challenge this week is, of course, to have more fun and be more playful, no matter what your circumstance is. We challenge you to choose a challenge. To have joy right now, no matter your circumstance, one idea we came across that we thought was really fun was to leave a post it note somewhere in a random grocery store, on a cart, on a car, somewhere in a public setting, that someone else will find that will inspire them to be happier and more joyful right now.

Do it. This is our prayer from Cydni and Sher. [00:38:00] I won't talk again. 

Sher: According to TED Talks. 

Cydni: According to TED Talks. I support Ted so much. He doesn't even know. He doesn't even know me and I'm over here supporting him every week. I don't even know him. Is it really a Ted? There's a guy named Ted, like, he wanted to speak, 

Sher: should be, like, share shoutouts or something. Share shouts. 

Cydni: I told you two other ones, right? What was the other one? 

Sher: I should have put you're too old and you're Bones hurt. Maybe that's it. 

Cydni: Can we clarify play? Is play like when you lay on your bed and you shut your eyes? I'm pretending I'm a princess. Sleeping. Leave me alone. Everyone. Leave the food at the door. But maybe we should get back to that outline. That we're definitely following. 

Sher: don't know why I can't see today. Just feel. I can't see this though. Say what's in your heart. Don't have to see to feel 

Cydni: You jerk. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Geez. Why did you give me that look? I have hurt feelings. I have hurt feelings. I can't get up from [00:39:00] this. You just said, you're like, get up you little, boop, 

Sher: boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. right, so the reason I'm just ignoring everything you just said. Please do. I'm just ignoring 

Cydni: it. I think that's becoming a thing and it's probably safest for our relationship. 

Sher: I just delete it. That's what I did to my students. They would say stuff and I'd just say huh and then I just move on. 

Cydni: I feel like I deserve this right now. 

Sher: Not like Cindy run, Cydni. Wow. Sorry. 

Cydni: Hi, I'm Cydni. Survival. Survivor. I'm a survivor. I'm not going to give up. I should have been a Beyonce. You should have. Hear that right there? I should have been a Beyonce. I'm gonna think of it. 

Sher: Speaking of Buffalo. Is that what Buffalo sounds like? It does now. The regret. 

Cydni: I just can like, see the future and hear it. You have so much power right now. It hurts. Okay. Well, I [00:40:00] cannot let go of the how. Please don't do that to me. No, you just don't. I can do whatever I want, Cydni. You can. Honestly, you probably deserve it. 

Sher: I do. 

Cydni: I do. 

Sher: This episode is about play. 

Cydni: I'm going to loosen up and let it be have a good week