From Grieving to Giving: The HEADstrong Foundation's $27M Success

Follow the journey of Cheryl, Pat, and Michael Colleluori, the remarkable family behind the HEADstrong Foundation, an organization dedicated to improving the lives of those affected by cancer. Their story of sacrifice, resilience, and love will leave you awestruck and inspired. 

When their beloved son and brother, Nick Colleluori, a three-sport Hofstra University athlete, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, he witnessed firsthand the scarcity of resources available for cancer patients. Fueled by a deep sense of compassion and a desire to change the landscape, Nick developed a mission, vision, and logo for the Foundation that would support individuals and families facing the challenges of cancer.

Tragically, Nick's battle ended just 14 months after his diagnosis, but his legacy and dreams live on through his family. Honoring one of his final wishes, Cheryl, Pat, and Michael fearlessly embraced Nick's idea and took on the responsibility of bringing it to fruition. They understood that the Foundation would impact countless patients' lives and serve as a healing force for their own grieving hearts.

Together, they will share the risks they took to keep Nick's legacy alive. Their dedication, determination, and resilience allowed them to build a $27 million organization from just $67. 

Hear the behind-the-scenes accounts of how they navigated challenges, forged crucial partnerships, and rallied support from the community to create a beacon of hope for the cancer community. 

 Visit https://headstrong.org to learn more about the HEADstrong Foundation. 

 To support the Colleluori Family’s mission and donate, visit (mention this podcast!): https://headstrong.org/donate/

Watch the episode live on YouTube!

Transcript

This transcript was autogenerated. 

Alaina Kearney (00:06):

Today on Follow Our Lead, I'll be talking to Cheryl Colleluori, president of the HEADstrong Foundation, along with two of her sons, Pat, who is the director of development and Michael, who is the vice president. HEADstrong provides financial, residential and emotional support to families affected by cancer. It was created by their beloved son and brother, Nick Colleluori, who fought a courageous 14 month battle with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Before the three sport Hofstra University athlete took his last breaths, he shared his hope that his family would make sure others would benefit from his life through his organization. And, true to their word, Nick's family will share the risks they took to keep his legacy alive and how they built a $27 million organization from just $67.

(01:01):

We are just so grateful for everything you have done in our community. I want to talk a little bit about Nick. Cheryl, we'll start with you. What kind of son was he? And then we'll get to his brothers, because we want to hear the sibling rivalry.

Cheryl Colleluori (01:12):

I'll tell you something. He was easy for me. Not saying he didn't have a hot temper because he did, but he was very caring about his mother. He would be the one to say as a mother of four sons, he'd be the one to say, ease up on our guys. Give her a break. He always had my back. He was very loving and of all my children, he was a homebody. So a lot of the activities that went on around our house is him bringing friends in, or he was very serious with a girl and they were always around. So he was our homebody and very loving and caring. One of my favorite subjects actually to talk about.

Alaina Kearney (02:00):

What about you, Michael?

Michael Colleluori (02:03):

Nick and I were kind of polar opposite of one another, but we were the closest in age and we're very, very close as far as our relationship went. We battled a lot but we got along very, very well. And we were super close from sharing clothes to sharing a bedroom our whole life to being college roommates and teammates at the college level. So I think my relationship with Nick was special, and I think the biggest thing for him is he had this great awareness and always did the right thing.

(02:51):

And really for me, being his younger brother kind of paved a way that I just needed to follow. He was just a great example of somebody that I continue to try to emulate just because he was all about the right things and just had a very high standard of living and everything that he was affiliated with, it was all about the right stuff. When he committed to something, he was all in and just way beyond his time. An example I have is like I was kind of never inside, ADD off the wall, and Nick, Nick could sit on the couch all day and binge watch movie after movie, after movie and was pretty good at imitations and jokes and things like that.

Alaina Kearney (03:33):

I think it's really important for people to understand who Nick was as a person because you all do such a great job of keeping his legacy alive in terms of what he wanted after his passing. But I think it’s important for people to understand who he was and the people around him and his relationships. You mentioned something too, Michael, about Nick's awareness and his kind of ability to see things that maybe others didn't or his ability to be that old soul. Where do you think that came from?

Michael Colleluori (04:09):

I don't know. I mean when his coach gave his eulogy at his funeral, and our coach at the time only met Nick a handful of times. He actually didn't even recruit Nick or I. He transitioned in as I was going in for my sophomore year. He just said like Nick had it and he didn't know how to define it, but he just had this way about him. And I thought the other thing that was really interesting around that is his other coach who was probably the closest to him talks about, and he still does, how Nick taught him how to love. And it's really interesting hearing a grown adult who's married with children learning from an 18, 19 year old kid. But for Nick,I guess he was just born that way. Thank God I wasn’t ahead of him. I think wherever he was I was just tagging along as the annoying little brother, but I think he was cool with it.

Pat Colleluori (05:13):

I remember a player saying, my last memory of your brother was him knocking me down during a state championship game and running up field to assist the game winning goal. But then while I was on the ground trying to catch my breath, he was also the same guy to come back and lend his hand to pull me up. He was a sportsman. I also have had people come up to me that maybe came from different social circles or I remember when your brother was in the choir or I remember when your brother had lunch in high school with kids with disabilities or there was just a lot of things about Nick. He was just an all around nice person.

Cheryl Colleluori (05:58):

I remember one of the teachers said to me after Nick had passed, he said, he has been teaching for 30 years. I'm going to get emotional.

Alaina Kearney (06:08):

Aw.

Cheryl Colleluori (06:09):

He said, Nick was a blue moon. And I said, what do you mean? He said, once in a lifetime do you come across somebody like Nick and I have the privilege of teaching him and I have one child, and if she is 10th of the person that Nick was, that I was a successful parent.

Alaina Kearney (06:28):

I mean, it's incredible. You've taken something that was so important to your son and to your brother, and you have made it your life's mission and goal. Cheryl, when Nick came to you and he talked about this idea that he had and he talked to you about the HEADstrong Foundation, was that something you expected of Nick or were you really taken off guard by this?

Cheryl Colleluori (06:54):

Well, we were actually in the hospital and when Nick was in the hospital, I was in the hospital. So it was like one night, two o'clock in the morning, he was having trouble sleeping and he was doodling away and, he said, can I share something with you? And I said, sure. And he handed me actually this document and I'm like, what is this? And he said just some stuff with some thoughts. He kept thinking about how can I help the cancer community and conversations around our kitchen table were maybe we'll do a cancer cookie or maybe we can do... It was constantly thinking this happened to me for a reason and what can I do to improve the cancer community? And it was early in February, he was having a procedure done in Penn and he asked me for a piece of paper and pencil. I didn't have it, but I had a napkin and he had a pencil and he's drawing, he's on the gurney being wheeled into the OR and as he's going into the OR he turns the napkin around.

(08:06):

He went Logo. I said, for what? He said, the foundation I'm starting. I was like, oh my goodness. And that became his pastime, believe it or not. I think it really helped him deal with the fact that he had cancer. He was very adamant and insistent about his thoughts. He was polling patients. He was, was out in the hallway making friends with all these other patients. You come back into the room, why isn't this available? Why is there such anxiety on the floor? And there's such quietness and we need to do something about this and we need to shake it up. And why are you on a chair? You need to be sleeping in a bed. You can't be on a chair.

(08:49):

He just was really, really adamant about getting involved, using his experience and really making a difference. And like that conversation we had in the hospital, he had shared with me his short-term goals, long-term goals. I actually have it framed in my office. He drew the first shirt, first awareness shirt that's also framed in my office. And it just really, it became what was to be his career. And he said, I'm going to switch gears. And of course things didn't go our way and we were all involved around the kitchen table with the conversations. And at the time I thought it was just a preoccupied for him really.

(09:37):

So that conversation that we had in the car coming home when he was on hospice, what is hospice? What did that even mean? I didn't know. Because you see your child and you see him undergoing treatment, you don't see the change. It's like when you have a baby all of a sudden they're grown up, you don't see it. You, you're involved with that child every day. And so I really didn't see the physical changes in Nick to be honest, until I looked back at pictures and I thought there's just no way. I didn't see that.

Alaina Kearney (10:12):

Yeah.

Cheryl Colleluori (10:14):

So we were in the car coming home on hospice and he just said, we need to have a conversation. I want talk to you and dad, please get in the back. And he held my hands, he said, look into my eyes, mom, look at me and you know, have to promise me. And it was the being buried in his uniform and it was the scholarship so that other people would... That [inaudible 00:10:39] his legacy and spirit will continue there. And he said, and finally, and most importantly, I need you to continue the foundation. He said, you have the ability to take it to heights that it really can go. And I believe in you, mom, I believe in our family and promise me that other people will benefit from the life that I've lived. I was blown away.

Alaina Kearney (11:06):

Well, he certainly wasn't wrong, that's for sure. But do you ever feel stuck in these respective roles within the foundation? Do you ever feel like maybe you want to pursue a different career and I think it would be really difficult for you to do that given Nick's wishes. So talk to us about your role within the foundation and have you ever had those thoughts?

Cheryl Colleluori (11:28):

Well, for me personally, I did a full-time career and the HEADstrong Foundation full-time for five years. I look at HEADstrong really as a way to heal. It has been my healing mechanism to keep Nick current, to keep that promise that we made to him. So it's very fulfilling for me. At this point I don't know any other way. I left that corporate position. I've not looked back. As we continue to grow and help so many families, I am inspired by their fight and their love. And is it an emotional journey? Yeah. At this point I don't see any other way for me. There's always opportunity, new ideas that continue to just excite and elevate the organization and excite us and allow us to continue to grow. I mean, that's me personally.

Pat Colleluori (12:49):

In the years of operating the HEADstrong Foundation, the thing that continues to stay true is not just this promise that we as a family make, but the thought that we started this organization from the depths of despair and tragedy. And we oftentimes said, when that's your baseline, you have nowhere else to go but love. So we know what it's like to start the organization from absolutely nothing. And when we think about why was Nick so determined to create the foundation, what was it? Yeah, it was this positive distraction? But I think in his acceptance of his fate, I believe in my heart that his belief was that by creating this organization, it would secure the emotional wellbeing of our family in the process and it would allow us to move forward through life without him in a constructive way. I think you have choices to make when you're dealing with loss and this is all facets of life.

(13:48):

You can either elect to wallow at negativity or you can use this vulnerability, if you will, as a tool. And as a result we've been strengthened and every day we're strengthened by the stories of people, the lengths of that people will go. And the fact that as we have continued to push ourselves, we've learned so much more about ourselves. Yeah, there are transferrable skill sets that apply to other industries. I pull on my experience as an event planner, as a caterer, as a development director, as people that... Again, I mean there are so many things that we pull on every day as Cheryl alluded. I mean we all were in different careers and it was a major sacrifice and a huge risk to start this organization. But in life what we're constantly reminded of is that you go around once and there's a fragility of life and you don't know what tomorrow has or has in store.

(14:58):

And so the goal is to be able to make the most of it and to live out your passions. And that's the one thing that this job affords us is we get a chance to do something that we're incredibly passionate about. There are far too many people in the world that don't have that luxury, that are stuck in one lane or they're stuck in a job that they hate. One thing that for us, when this opportunity presented, and I look at HEADstrong as a gift.

Cheryl Colleluori (15:31):

Me too.

Pat Colleluori (15:32):

It only takes a situation like this to realize how maybe unhappy you are in a career or how people take you for granted or how you're limited. And this organization bears no limits. I mean, because of the things that we're doing and the health crisis that we're involved with every day is a challenge. And it's incredibly rewarding. We try to make the most of a very tough situation. And so we're a constant positive and that's a good work environment to be in.

Alaina Kearney (16:14):

What about you Michael?

Michael Colleluori (16:16):

Yeah, I think it's a great question. I think I speak for the three of us. We don't necessarily look at this as a job. And for me personally, what I've... Over the last 15 plus years I've found is where I pull purpose is in service to others. And that ultimately what drives me. So at the end of the day, it wouldn't matter if I was... I've learned that I'm a service-oriented person, that's where I get fulfillment. And so it doesn't matter what that entails, whether it's running a charitable element, a for-profit element, a community-based element, doesn't really matter. As long as there's service involved, I'm naturally drawn to it and that's where I live and thrive. And that's kind of what motivates me to wake up every day. Cheryl, Pat and I, this is like a 365, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day thing that we just roll.

(17:15):

It's not like a nine to five thing that we just kind of turn off. And so for me, I've always ventured out into other things outside of HEADstrong and as long as it doesn't necessarily conflict and also aligns with that service concept, I think it's important for people to have involvement in different things that aligns with who they are as a person, what their values are. And for me, I launched another company two years ago, and the skillsets that I've learned in running the nonprofit with Pat and Cheryl, I've been able to find out where my strengths lie and where my passion lies and roll that into another service-oriented company. And I think it's important for people to have a diverse portfolio that they're involved with. I think it helps challenge us. I think it helps with professional growth and for me strategically finding ways that the other company could benefit the charity.

(18:21):

So it's a constant circulation of support that comes back, but I don't ever feel stuck. I've never felt stuck. And I think we don't necessarily look at it as other people maybe would. I have this concept where I feel like everyone's first out of college should be in a charity because you're forced to learn so many different skill sets to be successful in a role. You're the lifeline of the... It's not like you have this... We didn't inherit this. Most nonprofits start with a fund that's left behind or a trust that's left behind. We started this with $67 in the bank. And so 67 bucks to 27 million, that's on the backs of... For a while it was in the backs of us three. Sometimes we would turn three, four events over the course of a weekend and we would just hit the streets, And that grassroot marketing.

(19:25):

The first five years of our organization, it was all volunteer. It wasn't until year six where I became the first full-time employee and then Pat joined and then Cheryl joined, we recruited her finally. And we just been hammering ever since. And I think too, the company has evolved as well where we've all found kind of our lanes as far as who we are. We did a feasibility test that kind of tested our personality, what our strengths are, what our weaknesses are, and we all got lined up in roles that best suit who we are so that way we can continue to drive the organization forward. Where Pat has kind of been more in a development role, he's an incredible speaker, he's extremely talented with relationships and speaking, he's very, very intelligent. Cheryl and I have kind of moved more into management and we're building true infrastructure within the company.

(20:21):

So some of the lifting has gotten a little bit easier because we have a team underneath of us now that's helping us execute the day-to-day and just the overall mission, moving the mission forward. But we're really just... Back to Nick's original concept, he was on the path of becoming a servant leader. And that's kind of how we are recruiting servant leaders and we have naturally become servant leaders through what we've built and the work that we've done within the organization. So again, to recap my answer, if it's service-oriented, I'm naturally drawn to it.

Alaina Kearney (21:01):

So kind of building off a little bit of what you mentioned there, in terms of what Michael, you and Pat do within the organization, is that something that came through those kind of tests and figuring out what your skillset was? Or did you go into the organization kind of thinking you were going to be one thing and then it sort of evolved as the organization evolved?

Michael Colleluori (21:24):

In think we just jumped in and started swimming. We didn't know where we were going. We're just all about awareness. We were just like with any opportunity that we could get to go share our story, it didn't matter if it was one person in the room or a million people in the room, we went, we didn't turn anything down. And really it was just generating that awareness vehicle to get things cooking.

(21:47):

And it wasn't until maybe six or seven years ago where we really... What happened was the organization kind of took off too. And so there was a lot of crossing over where Pat was doing stuff that I was responsible for, I was doing stuff, and Cheryl, there was a lot of interference. And I think once we got a strategic plan, we got that test done and we all got in our lanes and it's a big collaboration, but it's a team effort and it's team oriented. We got everyone in the right lane to focus on driving that piece of the business. And ever since we've done that, we actually have a vision, mission and purpose. We've been able to really put the foot on the gas pedal and steer this thing forward, drive this thing forward.

Alaina Kearney (22:35):

Nick decided he had this idea of the foundation for you all. You kind of jumped in and swam, but what did that look like? I mean obviously you guys are dealing with an insurmountable amount of grief, so how are you able to put the grief aside and say, okay, what's the first thing we need to do to start this foundation? How did you do that and where did you turn? I mean, I don't know that I would know the first place to turn.

Cheryl Colleluori (23:01):

Well for me, I take the grief with me. The grief doesn't go away. And so I know that I'm going to be dealing with that grief no matter where I am. I remember returning to work after Nick passed, and I drove right past the office. I drove right past the driveway. You can't even think straight. And when I went in, I now am looking at life through a different lens. And quite frankly I didn't like what I saw, but I knew financially to recover from this cancer diagnosis. It took five years. And so I did both and I thought I need to follow my heart and I need to follow where I'm drawn. And I was drawn to the organization. When you lose a child, you don't sleep a whole lot, and your mind is constantly churning. And this gave me an opportunity to churn it in the right direction to honor Nick's life and to make what was, to be his career, his legacy.

(24:17):

And I just started asking questions. I met with a dear friend of mine who I went to high school with, he invited me to, it was [inaudible 00:24:30] it was Taylor Community Foundation back then that became TCF. And he kind of took me under his way and really shared with me compliancy and how to develop a board. And he invited Michael and I to a board meeting to see how a board meeting was conducted. And luckily I had a lot of financial experience from my job. So I knew how to read financials and understand all of that. It is a business and we run it as a business, but I never could ask anybody for money. It was one of the things that I had to overcome because every time I attempted, I started crying. And it's really hard.

(25:20):

I mean, I think that what we're doing is very special. Not everybody does, right? I've heard a thousand nos before I got one yes. We believe so wholeheartedly on the work that we do and we pride ourselves on our transparency, it's for Nick. And so it needs to be done in a way that I think we've elevated what some organizations do. Additionally, we try to keep it simple because if you get bogged down with all these complicated and lengthy decisions, you're never going to move forward. And so we started just asking a lot of questions and we learned how to fly.

Michael Colleluori (26:10):

We run this nonprofit like underneath of the regulation of a nonprofit. And we are very, very entrepreneurial in we're not scared to go try new things. And we are relentless in our efforts and everything that we've ever done. Nick has always been out in front of it. So it's not about someone's ego, it's not about lining someone's pockets. It's more or less about us building community. And we do that by telling our stories, showing people the work that we do where their money goes, and finding ways to engage them within our organization. And we've been set out the last six or seven years is to build a community of people to help move our mission forward, to help so that we can... Because our vision at the end of the day is to help as many people as we possibly can through the service offering that we offer. And so that's kind of it in a nutshell. And looking back over the years and we're still practicing the same exact behaviors, we obviously have much more-

Pat Colleluori (27:09):

Knowledge.

Michael Colleluori (27:12):

Knowledge and planning and things like, but day activities and ways that we practice are the same way we did when we first started. We're constantly trying to find new things, new ways, Pat's in more of a development role. He's constantly coming to Cheryl and I with ideas as far as what he wants to do. And he literally just did this to us three months ago and we just hired somebody to run this whole other campaign within the organization. And so collectively, the three of us have a great balance and we are in it for the right reasons.

Pat Colleluori (27:58):

I also want to say that because we actually come from the perspective of victims of this disease, we know what it's like to walk in the shoes of the people that we serve better than anyone because we've had to make so many of those decisions. Our perspective and how we approached this industry was really disruptive in a positive way in that sometimes you're looking at organizations that are really disconnected from why they exist. We knew the health crisis better than anyone. We recognize that these matters of affordability and accessibility were so overshadowed and they needed a spotlight. Nick recognized it. His concern for us became his focus. And how come people weren't afforded the same level of care or advocacy? So again, at the time, we started out very organically as Michael had alluded. For eight years, I literally traveled the country working-

Cheryl Colleluori (29:11):

We all did.

Pat Colleluori (29:11):

At every possible opportunity to sell shirts to she sell laces. We were very transactional based, very grassroots, taking time to share our story. And what that resulted in was by bearing your soul, sharing your vulnerabilities. And really what you come to realize is that people are pretty much all living with similar situations. And if you drop your guard and you're sharing your soul and you're sharing this story, people are more inclined to say, you know what? I'm going through something very similar with my mother or what my husband is currently going through treatment or my child is a survivor.

(29:56):

When we look at the commonality that is cancer, I don't chalk it up as a statistic, but the reality is that we're looking at one in two people. You know, start to look at the leading cause of home foreclosure in the United States. You look at 60% of most families incur a 60% loss of income during their first year of providing care. You start to see this and you come to realize that through our initial lack of confidence and our ability to put ourselves out there, we gain a professional confidence. And then that allows us to speak intelligently about our mission. We've kind of lived it in a way where not only did we live it in the way of being victims, but now we've lived it as a resource to families and we can tell their stories and we get stronger and...

Cheryl Colleluori (30:49):

Stronger together.

Pat Colleluori (30:50):

Exactly.

Alaina Kearney (30:52):

Pat and Michael, you both kind of mentioned this when you were talking, but we talked a little bit about some of these risks. Cheryl you worked another job while you started this. None of you really had any nonprofit background that I know of. You were all in a different sector and you decided that you were going to live out your son and your brother's legacy. So there had to have been some massive risk.

Cheryl Colleluori (31:20):

Well, for me, I was an executive and my heart just wasn't in it anymore. After five years of doing both jobs, I decided to take a leap of faith. I walked away from stock options, my pension, my salary, my benefits. I wasn't afraid because I measured every single thing and I still do to this day, to the loss of Nick. And if I'm still standing without Nick, everything else is easy. I started full-time at the He Strong foundation. I cried the entire week, the emotions just... And Michael said, well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea because my job was an important job and I was good at what I did. And it was a diversion, it was a distraction. And so now I was dealing with cancer 24 7, 365, and I couldn't control myself. I was a mess.

Michael Colleluori (32:31):

Why don't you talk about risk because that's the topic of this. Why don't you tell them what you did with refinancing your home.

Cheryl Colleluori (32:40):

So we worked out of a kitchen table that led to a bedroom that led to a hallway that led to a shed, that led to a garage.

Michael Colleluori (32:54):

Ridley High School [inaudible 00:32:58] classroom.

Cheryl Colleluori (32:57):

A classroom at Ridley. Yeah. And so I was driving down the street one night and I saw this dilapidated building and I thought, wow, this could make for a pretty cool Nick's house. We could have an office here, we could have a warehouse and we could give us some legitimacy and get away from our house being destroyed. And so we refinanced our house to buy it and it took six months to renovate.

Michael Colleluori (33:33):

We did the renovations ourselves/ we cleared...

Cheryl Colleluori (33:36):

[inaudible 00:33:37] by hand.

Michael Colleluori (33:38):

By hand, 1540 yard dumpsters of stuff out of there. And my mom, my brother, my other brother, my dad and a couple other volunteers helped us rehab this whole entire property.

Cheryl Colleluori (33:48):

And we just left that office. We were there 13 years, but Pat sent us a letter and he said, I think you need your head examined because why are you incurring this debt? And I said, because we believe.

Michael Colleluori (34:02):

Something that really drove, I think us and still to this day is we truly believe... We don't really focus much on the risk or even... Like Cheryl mentioned failure's, not really in our vocabulary. We look at things as kind of trial and error. If it works, we move, we continue to push it. If it doesn't, we revisit and pivot and move somewhere else. One of our best years was over covid. The mission, the service, the patients are constantly out in front of everything that we do. We don't... We're not scared. We find a way basically. We did... I'll never forget being a blue collar family, really township, my mom always says we could throw a heck of a beef in a beer, beef and beer. But Pat came to us, the one beer and he is like, I want to do a gala. And we're like, I, Cheryl and I are like, what's a gala?

Cheryl Colleluori (34:57):

[inaudible 00:34:57] a gala.

Michael Colleluori (35:00):

The next year we threw a gala. We had two 50 people there, and now it's one of our largest fundraising events throughout the year where we have 500 plus people that come to it. And it's just crazy how we just figured it out from all the way down to cutting the lines ourselves. The biggest challenge that we face. We are running uphill every day as far as demand for the service is always like... You get these dire, desperate situations. And what's sad is it's all because of the expense associated to care. So the biggest challenge that we have is we're in this race that never ends, right? And we're running a marathon that's uphill, that never stops. And so it takes a team, it takes volunteers, it takes donors, it takes fundraising, and we are just constantly running that race. And that's kind of just the way that it is unfortunately.

Alaina Kearney (36:04):

If you haven't been touched by it, you may not realize the impact and how expensive it can be.

Cheryl Colleluori (36:10):

Yeah.

Pat Colleluori (36:12):

So when you think about the diversity of family systems and circumstances. So we talk about this all the time. Most folks are not in a financial position to navigate the long-term expenses associated with this fight. Secondly, not everybody understands the extent of their healthcare until they're in a position of needing it, if they even have healthcare, right? So when you think about the fact that not everybody is financially equipped to deal, not everybody has a job at the time of their diagnosis. Not everybody has health benefits. Some people are in a commission-based structure at work. Their families...

Cheryl Colleluori (37:04):

[inaudible 00:37:05] variables.

Pat Colleluori (37:05):

Their families depend on them going to work each day. And what happens when you're caring for your child and you don't qualify for short-term disability?

Cheryl Colleluori (37:16):

There I am.

Pat Colleluori (37:16):

And what happens when the average protocol is 36 months. Or now what's happening, which is really hard, is that given either healthcare alliances and mergers challenges with healthcare, a lot of times what will happen is that certain legs of treatment may be in another part of the country that you're foreign to.

(37:39):

So you may be living in Fairport, New York and you're a small business owner and your child has cancer. And as opposed to going to a local hospital in Rochester or Buffalo, first leg of your treatment is going to be in Pittsburgh and your second leg of your treatment is going to be in Boston and know no one. And so it's like, okay, we came to realize that the feasibility of a lot of these treatments just aren't in the cards for people. And so our organization as we've continued to evolve, has really been centered on buoyancy, keeping families afloat during the financial storm and providing the playbook, the guidance, the know-how so that people could make decisions with confidence as opposed to being led by fear and vulnerability. And we wish that every city had access to specialized medicine and advanced care, but that's just not the way it works.

Michael Colleluori (38:40):

And I think a lot of this conversation too has been around when you're in treatment, there's also a lot of focus for us beyond cancer, beyond when somebody actually survives or unfortunately passes away. And I think our organization is an example as far as how people can move forward regardless of the end result, whether it was positive or negative. I think what's most important about the organization, about what my family has done is beyond just the organization itself, I think we've been able to turn a very tragic situation into something... And we are working actually strategically on trying to make ourselves more relatable to just the general public. To realize, to say, listen, whether you have an addiction, whether you're going through a divorce, whether you're going through a loss of a loved one, it's all related. We all process a very similar way. We're all going to go through adversity in life, we're all going to be hit with it.

(39:47):

It's just a matter of time. And we're going to be hit with it multiple ways at different times from our life and how we respond. That's why the whole Rocky movie is so, I think popular, how we respond to hard times. And I think Nick set that first level of foundation for us as far as like, listen, Nick, even up to the day, minutes, he passed away, he thought he was going to be cancer. He never let it defeat me mentally.

(40:15):

For us, we're building out programming around servant leadership to inspire others to find their HEADstrong, right? Wherever that is, whatever that looks like. And whether they want to partake in our foundation or follow whatever passion or purpose that they have. Our channel through this organization called HEADstrong, however they do it is how they see fit. But we really want to our organization to be a beacon of light and to inspire people to move through adversity and really move forward because you have incredible life to live. And if it's... We've seen the impact on the families that we've been able to have, and a lot of those families are actually doing just fine, they're doing great and they're back in their normal life. And so that's... It's not so much... I think people are scared of cancer and I think that people constantly think that it's a death sentence and that's not what it is. And we don't even talk cancer when we work with our patients. It's our conversation is around normalcy and it's around keeping people in a positive place mentally.

Alaina Kearney (41:28):

To reach the level of success you have. I'm just curious to understand what you attribute that success to?

Pat Colleluori (41:37):

I look at it like this. When we started the organization, the goal was if we could inspire one person and we would be fulfilling Nick's vision. And what happened was in inspiring that one person, it started a dialogue and it started this ball that just kind of rolled downhill. And for us, what was so interesting was that we really didn't have a roadmap honestly.

Cheryl Colleluori (42:14):

Not in the beginning. I feel like the organization took on a life of its own, to be honest.

Pat Colleluori (42:20):

Yeah.

Cheryl Colleluori (42:21):

It kind of just happened in front of our eyes. Yes, were we behind it and we threw ourselves out there. But to be honest, it just kind of caught on. And then we did our best to steer the bus.

Pat Colleluori (42:35):

Yeah. I mean people would ask, can we do this? Can we help you? We like to wear laces. Do you guys have shirts? Can we do an event? How can we fundraise? So we just found ourselves, in many respects, responding to people's interests. And the turning point became for us, where we recognized that there were services that needed to be created to support people. That's when I think our mind shift. We really shifted our focus,

Michael Colleluori (43:11):

Mission, vision, purpose.

Pat Colleluori (43:12):

Yeah.

Michael Colleluori (43:12):

Once we got around that and we got clarity around our individual strengths and got in our lanes. The organization has just moved in a direction that I don't think ever would have imagined. But again, we are so close to this, it's just that simple concept and it sounds easy, but we just focus on the next family, who's next, who needs help next. And that's where we focus. We don't get lost in the weeds. And Cheryl alluded to it earlier, we just try to keep things lean, simple and we just keep things mission focused and we just try to inspire and empower people to get involved.

Cheryl Colleluori (43:58):

And one thing too that I pride ourselves on really is our transparency. Really showcasing the dollar, the donation at work. I mean that's important.

Pat Colleluori (44:11):

To piggyback what Cheryl's saying, when you're developing relationships, actually you're creating a couple things. Number one, you're creating a culture that people want to be part of. We say it all the time. We want to create an atmosphere and a culture that people don't feel like they have to be part of, but that they want to be part of. And we create campaigns and ways that align with people's passions to ignite that interest, to give them the keys to the car, if you will. And then what the reciprocation of feeling good and making a localized impact is so overwhelming. It's almost addictive too, where it's like, oh my God, I didn't realize that I was able to do this. And it feels so good to be able to help someone.

Michael Colleluori (44:54):

So going back to your original question, it's all about doing something. It doesn't matter to just make the world a better place. And I think from a parenting standpoint, for me, my kids, we simply go out and we pick up trash in our community. It doesn't have to be this extravagant, massive thing. Over time, our organization has compounded and has built right over the last 15 years, and I feel like a lot of times people have just unrealistic expectations and around success. And I think social media has given people a false read on how things are really built. Some of the most successful people that I've ever met, it took them 20, 25 years of an investment of driving something that's gotten them to the point where they're now, if they weren't born into money, it takes... It's a marathon, not a sprint. And so regardless if it's for profit, nonprofit, whatever it is, it's just get started with something and start to do that on a consistent basis.

(46:06):

It's just like fitness. You ran a lap around the track today, okay, tomorrow let's try to do a lap and a half. And over time you build towards your vision. One of the things too that we're big on and we've gotten even more closer to it and more focused on it over the last three to five years is our core values is really focused on that and helping that steer us in the direction and helping us make decisions around. There's sometimes difficult decisions that you have to make. And even to Pat alluded to earlier, our culture, making sure that we're recruiting and bringing in people that meet kind of the standard and the values that we want on our team.

Alaina Kearney (46:52):

I want to thank you all for joining me today. And I want to end on something because we're kind of short on time here. So I want to end with something about Nick. Either it be a funny family memory that you all have about him, something that the whole family knows, like, oh gosh, don't tell that memory or don't share that story. So let's end on something like that.

Michael Colleluori (47:14):

I have a lot of stories.

Cheryl Colleluori (47:14):

[inaudible 00:47:20].

Michael Colleluori (47:20):

I think one of it's interesting, there's a ton of childhood memories being so close in age. And what's interesting is without the life that I've lived so far without Nick, it's like it's crazy to see how much he has taught me even not even being present. And one of the things when Nicholas was sick, and I don't like to talk too much about that time, but what's interesting to me is his coach developed this award called The Fathead as a way to keep Nick connected to the team while he was under treatment. So that way he felt like he was still a part of the team and he would give out the award. It wasn't necessarily to somebody that scored five goals and won the game. It was more or less that made a play that he thought was important and instrumental. And so the whole team, my freshman year, I was the last one on a 45 man roster to receive an award from Nick.

(48:24):

It took all season long for him. And I started as a freshman. I contributed to the team in all 17 games, and he literally waited until the end of the season to give me my award because when I look back on it, I'm like, you know what? He wanted to meet, he wanted me to work for it. He wanted to keep me grounded and humbled and it's just the things that you could pull out what he did. But one of the... I think you could share a gazillion stories, but I think it's important to pull out the things that you could apply to your life. So that's kind of a story that I've always like, I wish he was here so I could punch him again in the face. You're such a you know what?

Alaina Kearney (49:14):

Well, I think he [inaudible 00:49:15] about 20 right now. But I just want to thank you all so much for joining me and sharing candidly about your journey.

Cheryl Colleluori (49:27):

Thanks Alaina, appreciate it.

Michael Colleluori (49:29):

Thank you.

Alaina Kearney (49:30):

For those interested in learning more about the HEADstrong Foundation or want to donate to help those whose lives are affected by cancer. We'll provide a link in the description notes. And of course, if you've enjoyed this podcast, be sure to subscribe so we can continue to provide content from exceptional leaders. Until next time.