Veteran Chat Project
Veteran Chat Project
Unmasking the Human Struggle through a Soldier's Story
From the barracks to the therapy couch, former serviceman David Snowis offers an intimate glimpse into his life journey in our latest episode. This isn't just another tale of a military man's transition to civilian life - it's a potent exploration of the human struggle, the power of connection, and the transformative force of self-awareness.
David's stories from his army days are both humorous and sobering, revealing the shared experiences that link us all - from the pain of combat to the difficulty of changing family dynamics after service. The raw honesty of his journey uncovers the real impacts of actions and choices, demonstrating the life-changing influence of emotional processing after leaving the armed forces. His tales aren't just about military life, but also about the struggles of parenting, and the importance of mental health.
By exploring his use of therapy to manage his mental health, David opens up about the realities of living with post-service trauma. The episode doesn't shy away from heavier topics, like the idea of replacing one addiction with another, and a few more!
Hey everybody, what's up? Kyle and KZ?
Speaker 1:More people get their voice out there than I think they'll realize, like we're all the same real KZ decided fuck, let's do it.
Speaker 2:Took the bait, so here we go, where it's encouraged to not be okay all the time. Yeah, man, it's good to be here For quite a bit of time now I'd say what like kind of keeping up with us for the last, I'd say, since like letter to me around that time kind of came out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that time period.
Speaker 2:And he's kind of, you know, sat on the side, didn't really want to come on. We had the invite around that time and he said, you know, not right now that's not really the time and recently reached out and decided you know, I want to come on and I want to talk, and woo, sorry, so we got him. So, yeah, swap that guy, all right. Yeah, so, dude, it's good to see you on this side of the show as a man in the comments.
Speaker 2:I love seeing people in the comments, but it's also nice to put a face to the person now.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I try and jump in there when I can. Can't always be on the on the live stream, usually working and kids and stuff, but yeah.
Speaker 2:I know how that goes well, like not the working part but the kids part. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, how you been man. I know we talked about a little bit, you know a little bit before you started going on on the air. David, has your how's your week been?
Speaker 3:It's been pretty good. Yeah, had my. Yeah. I was like I was really amped up yesterday because I had my therapy right before we were supposed to do this and I was like, oh, this is perfect, this is perfect. I get to talk to my dude and like get everything straight and get like, get my head right and then, and then just roll into it, yeah, yeah, but just March order, go with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 2:It's still having some issues, but I don't know there shouldn't be. I have a pretty decent setup, but maybe I just I don't know Figure that out later, but it is working obviously much better. So I do appreciate you being flexible.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Let's just fucking dive right into it. You know, I know you were inspired by letter to me and I don't. I think, yeah, let's, let's talk about that, because that's where, that's where we picked you up and I know that's on you, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say something else, but I We'll get there, we'll get there, we'll get there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll get there, we got time, yeah. So I, you know, I really, like I heard that episode and you know I was, I was having a real tough time over that that last couple of days and I was like you know, shit, like what, what would I tell my younger self? And you know, admittedly, like in that that letter I was just, I was really focused on more or so on the problem that I had at hand in front of me and so, honestly, I feel kind of bad because I wish that I would have went a little more broad and been more like life advice, you know. But yeah, it is a, it's a question that's been posed to me before, you know. So so what?
Speaker 3:My therapist? He's retired army and to, yeah, thank God I found him because he speaks the same language and and he's been through a lot of the same shit that we have, you know, both in the service and in his private life. And if an exercise that him and I have done before, where he's, like, you know, just take, take like half an hour and sit down and and be like you know what, if you could say something to your, to yourself at 21, like what would you tell him you know. And then you know we've built on that. You know he's like well, you know, what do you say to your kids? What do you, you know? If you're gone tomorrow, what kind of advice do you leave, you know, for your kids? Yeah, so actually I wrote another one, but I mean, I don't know. I can share it at the end if you guys want me to.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah dude.
Speaker 3:It's a, it's a, it's gonna be a tear jerker for me.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, well, I mean, I dug deep with it and then, yeah, that's. That's. One thing that I really appreciate about this podcast is is you know that, like this is all about helping people and and helping to get rid of like that whole stigma where we're all just fucking lemmings run around and everybody's everybody's different and everybody's special and everybody's like no, we all have the same shit happening. Yeah, we have the same problems, like the same relationship problems, the same kid problems, the same friend problems, work problems, finances like it's all universal. Like yours are slightly different than mine, but that doesn't mean that we feel differently about them.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, but the the one thing I like I hate but love to hear when, like I asked, like close friends, like what's wrong? Like veteran veteran, like veteran veteran brothers, like, like it was bothering you, man, like, and I get the response like I wouldn't understand, like, motherfucker, try me.
Speaker 2:Like I would, though, try me because, maybe because I've been specifically through it yeah, like it's almost like what's due said on his episode. It's like pain. You know that pain is what binds us all together. Oh sure, yeah, and that y'all knew, man, that shit pops in my head six to twelve times a day. Bro, you're not unique and it's basically what you said like, and it's not to be like an unsympathetic to your pain and no shit like we're empathetic here we understand.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not at all.
Speaker 2:But you're going through it and we believe, very, very like we're like, we're cheering for everybody all the time, like when we see people like like you said, like when you I got pumped up just knowing that you got a second letter to me, sitting there ready to do it, and I'm like, dude, this fucking it's gonna be good, yeah, it's gonna be good. And then, like it never, I, never, even, you know, I don't know, dude, it pumps me up to like to be in a position to help people. Yeah it's really unique.
Speaker 1:It's really unique. Like how some veterans think not all a lot of us, though but like at one point or another, like having that like you wouldn't understand mentality you know, but when you look back on, like your military, like career, it's like you know you wouldn't understand. Like like yeah, would like we went through the same basic training, like like we started the same dude, like we suffered this like from day one or day zero, like we suffered exactly the same. So maybe I would understand. So, yeah, definitely, yeah, I definitely understand that sentiment that you're trying to say.
Speaker 2:Hell, yeah, yeah so.
Speaker 1:Speaking of which, though, a basic training. So let's back up a little bit. What, what branch did you, what branch did you serve in?
Speaker 3:So I was in the army, joined in 2005, did my first contract overseas to Iraq. I went, I'm locked out, I went active National Guard and they were overseas and I was exempt, so I didn't have to do anything and yeah. So I did that for a little while and then decided to come back to active duty and then reclass at the same time and that's what brought me out here to Seattle area. I was out of Fort Lewis 2010 and went overseas to Afghanistan, got evaced medical retirement out in 2014.
Speaker 1:Damn dude. What'd you do? What was, what was your MOS?
Speaker 3:So first go around. I was 13, mike, which is MLS, and we had the old school M270s, the, the tracked rocket launchers, and then we upgraded to the Alpha ones, and then we upgraded to the high Mars, built off the LMTV chassis, so just the single six pack. And when I reclassed I went 13 Bravo. So I was in a howitzer unit and we did the, we did the upgrade to the triple sevens right before we went to Afghanistan. So that was interesting.
Speaker 1:That sounds interesting how was. I mean other than I mean other other than the injury. We can talk about that if you want to. But like, how was? How was Afghanistan as a whole, if you could summon?
Speaker 3:I mean Afghanistan for us, because I actually got to do my job. So we just like we're in a gun pit, you know, like Iraq was, you know, truck missions and flying everywhere, and we were just tasked. So we got the. We got the task for Iraq to do the counter fire radars and we had almost everything in Emedy North and going into it. I knew that they couldn't make me sit there and watch a computer blip and repair stuff if I was colorblind, so I made sure I didn't pass the colorblind test which put me on our truck team. So I got to drive or fly everywhere and yeah, that was cool. A little bit of everything, yeah, but Afghanistan was pretty cool, you know, because we were just down in the gun pit, in the hooches, you know, just staying ready and shoot when they need us to, and it was fun to actually do my mrs oh, I bet all the training.
Speaker 2:Yeah you, finally, you're like you know what dude, like I don't actually know what I'm doing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, you know I'll bring new weapons systems, spend all this time on it and do all this training. You know we got the Yakama for forever and horrible weather and all you're doing is shooting and moving, and shooting, and moving, and shooting and moving. And they don't let you sleep. And but I mean it paid off. You know it gets drilled into it and it becomes second nature yeah, that's, I think you know.
Speaker 1:I only did my job the first appointment being on tanks a little bit, yeah, a little bit. And then the rest of the deployments. I don't think I trained. I mean, yeah, I trained so much on tanks. And then as soon as it was deployment time, I was like all right time to go guard some shit, yeah, like fuck, yeah, these things like yeah, they tip over all the fucking time.
Speaker 2:We're like oh yeah. I just remember sitting back and get stuck everywhere and just being like, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're going over looking up at the balancing in the middle of just like yeah yeah, yeah, you will like the slope indicator, like oh my god, put me in a Bradley, I'll be fine yeah, tank, tank, we're going over, yeah, we're good, see you get it you had a, so you had a unique perspective, like as far as like exiting the military.
Speaker 1:So you said you were um medically retired. What is that? I hear that a lot in my line of work but like I never. I never sit down and ask which is bad of me, like how, how is that?
Speaker 3:so I got, I got medically forced out. Um yeah, I came down with a, my primary condition. I came down with a nerve disorder that they can't quite figure out, and so essentially, I have no fine sensory in any of my fingers or toes oh shit, dude and, uh, we were in Afghanistan, we're in the mountains and, uh, thin air, cold temperatures.
Speaker 3:Um, my hands stopped working and start turning blue and they can't get circulation back to them. Um, because when your nervous system breaks down, it stops telling your vessels and capillaries to circulate blood and there you go. Yeah, it's like it's gone.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, it's like, yeah, like your body doesn't know what they're cut the finger to save the arm, basically, or cut, you know, cut the finger to save the hand, basically your body's right. Yeah, fuck it, we're leaving it. No, I need my hands.
Speaker 3:That sucks so, dude, that's uh yeah, I mean, it's, um, I've learned to deal with it pretty well. Um, you know, there's I'm like because I still have them. So, yeah, thankfully, I was supposed to start losing them in about five years after separation. Um, that was the prognosis.
Speaker 1:Uh, uh, everything got a hold up so it's an ongoing thing, like it's still. It doesn't like come and go, it's just gonna get worse.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh sure, it just continues to get worse. Um, yeah, so eventually, um, but, uh, you know, stress was like my number one aggravator, um, apart from cold temperatures but I mean that's a environmental thing um, yeah, stress was like like, when I got out, uh, I just immediately felt improvement, just immediately. Um, you know, it wasn't the schedule, it wasn't the you know, none of that, it was the stress. For sure, it was the stress because I have, um, I got really lucky too.
Speaker 3:So when I got out, um, I think it was like May of 2014 when I got home from Afghanistan, I met my daughter's mother and we got together, we got married before I got out and she was looking to go to school and finish her master's program and I was like, oh well, perfect, you know, um, I can stay at home with your two kids and collect my pension and maybe do some school part time, and you can go to your master's degree, and it all works out yeah so I got to do the stay at home thing and you know I like to cook um, um, so I got even better at that and I mean it was working out great, um, yeah how old, uh, how old were the kids you were staying home with, or are you still doing that too right now?
Speaker 3:uh, no, so her and I have divorced, um, and then, yeah, uh, my, our daughter is seven, um, she's seven, and then I have two boys uh, one of which just graduated high school, uh, in Indiana, and then he's been, he's been off at college, um, so he's home with his mom in Indiana, um, two different mothers. But, yeah, he's home with his mom in Indiana for the summer and then he'll be back in school pretty soon. So, yeah, I started young. I'm 39. I'll be 40 in December.
Speaker 1:Dang dude, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:I just turned 37 yesterday actually, and uh.
Speaker 3:Oh shit, Happy birthday, dude.
Speaker 2:Thanks, yeah, I feel like a piece of shit I completely forgot.
Speaker 1:yesterday he was like this, he's like because he was like having internet stuff and I was, and he was like fuck, he said something about his birthday. I was like, oh fuck, oh, by the way, happy birthday yeah but it's just a day. Yeah, 37.
Speaker 2:It's just you know it's not like I'm not. I don't know, I'm not one of those people. Like you know, some people are just like it's my birthday week and then they get like oh yeah and everybody's like catering to them. It's like I don't know.
Speaker 1:Hey, I try, I tried that, I try that. I tried that one year Uh, probably two, three years ago, when it was like january it's my fucking birthday, birthday month, and I celebrated every fucking day and uh. I'm never doing that again because holy fuck, house broke.
Speaker 3:Oh man, yeah, I'm getting too old for that shit.
Speaker 2:I jokingly said something like last year to my wife. I think it was last year, the year before, but I was just like you know, it's my birthday weekend. You know she's yeah no, it's not, and I'm just like it doesn't work.
Speaker 1:It doesn't work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh shit but she's also not the type either. You know she's, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think we care more about, uh Um, our kids birthday, and I think that's just what our, our family values are going forward. It's just like we care more about our kids than we do ourselves.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, for sure, oh yeah which is, which isn't a bad thing.
Speaker 2:But I mean I, I, uh, I smoked a tri-tip. Uh, I had my sister-in-law over with her daughter and, uh, yeah, hung out with the kiddos and Smoked some meat. It's kind of what I'm into. So Wasn't a bad day throwing some disc off if I, if I felt like it, I could have, but our nanny quit, uh, last minute.
Speaker 2:So so, I'm back to stay at home myself For like the third, fourth time, I think, third time, I guess, if you want to call it a this, a next time. I mean, we just had the nanny for two weeks and she's like I got school start in august 21st and then, uh, we're like, yeah, you could still. Uh, you know, help us, hang out until we find somebody. She's like, oh, yeah, um, my brother's nanny quit, so you know, I got to go help the family and I'm like, which, you know, it's like I get that.
Speaker 1:That's like you know.
Speaker 2:I don't make it too wrong, so I'll make it right. Oh yeah, damn, it's very possible. My son makes his first podcast appearance tonight, that's it.
Speaker 1:So so, david, you got 2014 and you're in. You're in seattle right when you got out.
Speaker 3:Uh, we were down at fort lewis.
Speaker 3:Uh, we were in Tacoma okay and then we just we kind of slowly migrated north um, because her sister lived nearby and you know just pricing and and it just shit is so Sock inexpensive out here for absolutely no reason. Um, yeah, so I, yeah, we, we ended up in like the bottle area and uh, and then once we divorced I just kind of continued moving out. I bought my house a couple years ago out off a highway, two like 40 minutes from a ski resort, and it's out there a little bit of drive for work. But, um, I like the people out here better, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 2:That's always nice. Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1:How was the um? Like, how was that transition period for you when you got out, like you know going from, you know going from Active duty to now you're staying at home watching kids. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but like that's a bit, that's a big change.
Speaker 3:You know, like, at face value, a lot of it was was really natural to me because I, you know, I joined in 05. So you know, I was 22 and I had already done some life. You know, I already had my boys um working factory jobs and my dad fortunately gave me a really solid work ethic and you know, so I had that going for me. Um, and then, even when I, when I did my stint active guard, I took a construction job and I was, you know, building. I was actually rebuilding houses on Fort Sill, some of the uh, um, some of the old turn of the century houses. Um, as I have construction experience, so we were remodeling and retrofitting and kind of renovating some stuff.
Speaker 3:Um, and then getting out in 2014, I think having the ability to stay at home right away made it a lot easier. You know, um, like I'm a I'm a fidgety person, I like to keep moving, I don't like to sit still for too long and you know there was stuff around the house I could do. There was, you know, I had car projects that I could work on and, you know, and the kids kept me busy. So I think that really helped, um, but I also, I was still in that stage where I was talking everything away and I wasn't, I still wasn't processing everything that I had been through in the service, you know.
Speaker 3:So it faced. That's why I say it face value. You know I, I did all right, um, but I, you know, I just kept talking it away, and talking it away, and talking it away, and then eventually that that was a big part of what came in between her and I is, you know, my lack of vulnerability and you know I, I was just, I'm prone to fits of rage Because I'm bottling all this shit up, oh and and not going and getting help, and and not Not talking to her and not communicating and sharing. You know, because she, she wanted me to open up. I was, so she finished her master, she's a therapist.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 3:Of all partners to not talk to right um, you know, and and that that could have been intimidating as well, though I bet you know just oh yeah, thought process.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're just trying to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure study, or I mean that might not have been the case, I'm not saying that, but like it could have. Also, it would have. That would have been a thought process of mine to easily be like.
Speaker 3:I can avoid it because yeah, like I don't want to be a fucking client. I want to be a partner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, no yeah.
Speaker 3:But I wasn't doing the work to be a partner, um, right, and so, yeah, so that that became the end of that, um. And then, you know, luckily, uh, about three years ago, um, I got hooked up with my therapist and you know he's a, he's a army infantry vet and solid fucking dude, um, and I can see him telehealth, and it's just he, he has been Nothing short of amazing.
Speaker 1:That's awesome dude.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's fucking awesome.
Speaker 2:Which it makes me want to get a degree. I can get the fucking Give a rehab going dude and just get a mental health, some sort of mental health degree where I can just Try to be helpful and that's in that way and this way as much as possible to.
Speaker 3:Well you got the fucking podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we're doing we're doing what we can. We're chipping the way at it, for sure you know but, I, think in, uh, and in this and this, I would just be like another tool in my bag for this situation too. Uh, to you know, I would be like, oh, this guy's got certificates, he's got a certificate degree, he's legit, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, liberal arts degree.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna go look and fuck a Boeing now. Yeah, I got two degrees. Then what Don't worry about it?
Speaker 1:You, um, I mean you said some things that I think were, um, I think were really important, like you just acknowledging the fact that you weren't, you know, vulnerable and that you weren't ready. You're tucking things away. What was it? Was there like a specific moment where you're like I need to go get fucking help or I need to talk?
Speaker 3:So I got, yeah, I got some crazy shit. Um, yeah, so her and I divorced and I, um, I got together with us like absolute, fucking lunatic, like I like absolute, just insanity. And yeah, she, eventually she was like, oh, you need to get, you need to get help, you need to get help, you need to get help, you're the problem. And me, like you know, because this is, this is a couple years down like I'm processing everything pretty well and I'm being open with my friends, you know, like I'm building healthy friendships and relationships. And I got, you know, like, I got a group chat going with my old Section that I last served with.
Speaker 3:You know, like, and some of these guys, you know, we're, we're calling each other all the time and we're texting each other all the time and like, we're, we're talking, you know, we're being open and we're being vulnerable and um, and so I, I was processing, you know a lot of that shit. And then you know this, this crazy chick. She was like, oh, you're the problem, you need to get therapy. And I was like, well, fuck it, I'll go get therapy. And so she set up the first appointment where I talked to Robert, my therapist, and and I was like fuck dude, like this dude's cool as shit and like he knows Like firsthand, like all the same shit that I've been through. You know it's another. You know like you're not the only one type of thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah and um, and so, yeah, I just started talking to him and I was like, fuck, I'm gonna do this like every week. So I started seeing him every week and and then, slowly, in the last like year, you know, he's kind of like Dave, do we really need to see each other this often? I was like, well, I mean I like checking in with you, like it's cool and I, yeah, it's. You know, it's like it's something that I look forward to. Um, you know, because, like he, as much as we Just shoot the shit, and like he's checking up on me, um, you know, he still asked me the hard shit, he still asked me the hard questions. Um, you know, and he told, and he still calls me out and he's like you know, why the fuck did you do that? I mean, I can't tell you what to do, but why the fuck did you do that? I'm like shit, man, you're right, that was dumb. Yeah, it's nice to have someone like that.
Speaker 2:Like that you could tell, like your things You're not super proud of, and then it seems like especially him being an infantry. You know, he's probably like yeah, bro, I've I've seen it all, I've probably heard it all. You know, I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to help you and, like him, seemingly was able to or he was seemingly able to convey that, that feeling, to you instantly, which is dope, yeah for sure. That's fucking awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's like you got with this crate, with this lunatic. But you should. But some good came out of it because you found the.
Speaker 3:I know it's a funny. Yeah, that's the. That's the irony in it too. Yeah, that's the irony in it too.
Speaker 2:Well, and he even you know, like In the crazy too, you know there's, there's beauty to be found everywhere. Oh for sure. Yeah, it's just fun, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:That's crazy as shit. I don't know, man, I wish I had that. I'm not gonna lie like uh, you know that's that's hard to find A therapist, that's, you know, prior service. I know because in my line of work, like I, you know, I work with a lot of doctors, a lot of medical professionals and Hands down, like the ones that the veterans love most to talk to are the are the prior service docs. You know there's a there's a.
Speaker 1:There's a pa that like constantly travels around north carolina and like south carolina or no, north north carolina, virginia, and he's like you know, he's prior service freaking, airworn, whatever. But um yeah, people love talking to him. Every time people come up to me and they're like Like hey, I'm seeing pa. You know, I don't want to say his name, but I'm, I'm seeing him. I'm seeing Mike today. Like is he? Is he squirt? Like is he cool? Like, oh yeah, he's one of us, man, you're good, he's one of us.
Speaker 1:He'll square you the fuck away. Yeah, he'll talk to you and then if there's some shit that there's not, that that should be on like should be claimed, he'll fucking add it on there for you. I'll let you know and I think I think that's unique with all of us in our community that, like um, as once we find each other, we're really good at helping each other.
Speaker 3:But it's, it's all about. It's all about finding each other first.
Speaker 2:So I'm not, yeah, identifying that tribe, identifying people that you're just like, oh bro, like oh yeah, let's do it. Yeah, I got you it's going in because, yeah, he's one of, like you said, he's one of us. Yeah, you're automatically like okay, dope, because I don't need to worry about it. They got my back. Now I can, now I'm comfortable and I can tell them you know the shit, that the hard shit, that you're there to tell them you know especially in in your situation.
Speaker 2:So I mean, that's, that's again. I said dope a lot, so I won't say it again, but that's.
Speaker 1:I'll say it again Daring and dashing.
Speaker 3:I've been daring it that.
Speaker 2:Duuuup, all right yeah. So I mean, that's, that's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm happy for you, man, that's cool as shit. And then, um, so, you know, you know. Fast forward to now, how, like how, if you don't mind me asking, like, how often do you see him now?
Speaker 3:So now I'm just down to uh, we just back down to monthly. Um, oh shit, so like, so, like every four weeks or so, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean well, because I've been yeah, I was seeing him every week for Pretty much the first two years, um, and I think I think I managed to miss like one or two appointments in that first like two years, damn, which is, you know, really proud of myself for, you know, holding myself accountable, like that and making sure, you know, and, and that's the other situation you know, like with my job Um, you know, my boss is like really cool with it and he's like, okay, it's on the schedule, that's what you're doing. Like I just go out in the parking lot sitting in my car, you know, get the phone charged up and and go for it, have an hour and uh, you know, little fucking screaming and yelling sometimes and let shit go and get some healing. Well, yeah, dude, it is kind of nice to do that stuff over teleconference to.
Speaker 2:Like you said sitting the truck and just kind of like I got my own little space, yeah, your own little comfort. Yeah, you can kind of Lean into it a little harder, it's pretty good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, like we're, you know there's a lot of providers Relatively close to us. But then it's like, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to one appointment, I'm gonna drive all the way there, I'm gonna, you know, take a couple hours off of work, like because my, my daughter, I have her 50, 50 and so it's like I'm already working enough flexible work schedule so that I can spend time with her and be present for her. And uh, you know, it's just, it's real that telehealth is really, really convenient. Yeah, the um, you're talking about you.
Speaker 1:Uh, you mentioned, uh, you know, being accountable, self accountability and stuff. Like you know, we had that conversation last Thursday about self accountability and and all the branches that it connects to relationships, being one of them, um does, like you know, with, with, with the progress that you've done ever since meet and dock, like, have, like, has your relationship changed at all with your, with your, with your x, y for your? Um, oh, hands down, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3:So you know, we, when we first divorced it, everything was an argument. Everything was an argument. You know, like you, you have a parenting plan and You've already argued about it to get it and get to that point.
Speaker 3:And then you went to court and then it became ordered and it's law and you know you're still, you're still working on it and you know you're still you're still bickering about the meeting location for the exchange. You're still bickering about the time. You're still like there's always, you know, we just couldn't, we just couldn't see eye to eye, you know, and part of that was who I was with at the time and, um, and so I did, uh, I did, but I signed a release so that she could actually talk to my therapist and see that you know I was, I was doing my work, yeah, that I'm. You know I like so that she could talk to him and she understood. You know I'm on the up and up and I'm working on myself and I'm trying to be, you know, a better father and I'm trying to be a better person and I want to co-parent effectively and so, like, this last year has been just fucking great, you know, like something comes up, like you know.
Speaker 3:So I got the chance to take my daughter to Indiana to see her brother graduate high school, and she had not met her brothers yet in person anyways, and so all I had to do was text her ahead of time and be like, hey, in a couple months, you know I've got the date, I'm going to buy a flight for myself. I want to go see Gavin graduate high school and I know that he wants me to be there. Could I possibly take Whitaker with? And she was like, yeah, hands down, go for it. What are the days? Go ahead, buy a ticket.
Speaker 3:You know like no, no, arguing, no, nothing, and obviously you know that's a lot of. She has her own share in that, in that progress, but it's definitely. You know my work with my therapist. You know learning how to communicate more clearly and learning that like you have to communicate the shitty stuff too, Like you have to have conflict to have a healthy relationship. Oh fuck, yeah, you can't just run around avoiding the conflict and be like, oh well, you know, if I just give her this extra day and I don't let her know that it spoils the birthday party of, you know, our daughter's little friend, if I just give her that, it'll be better, because I don't want to argue about it. You know, like you got to have those hard conversations and you got to. You know, when you have an opposing viewpoint, you need to at least be open enough to say you know, I don't feel that way or I don't like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not. A lot of people don't realize that I mean not even in relationships period. It doesn't have to be. I don't think it doesn't have to be in a marriage. Co-parenting is a great example of another. You know another type of relationship, but like, yeah, you have to have conflict to have a good relationship with it, all your friendships too. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:You can have be able to call out your buddies and be like, look motherfucker, like that was entirely too much last night, Like we're not, we're not doing that again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and those friends that like come back at you and kind of harp on you for those statements you made, those aren't real friends, you know. And in my opinion, yeah, in my opinion, if you, if you, if you try to have those tough conversations and they shy away from it or just shun you for it, those aren't real friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah maybe maybe the shunning for sure, the shy in a way. Maybe it's just somebody who's not particularly ready to have those conversations. Another thing I've learned along the way of you got to like pick your audience too. When you're ready to talk about some deep shit Like you can't just talk to anybody about, like you can't just like pick up to Billy, your friend Billy, that you met like three weeks ago and you're like dude.
Speaker 1:you know what, Billy, I'm gonna do some shit, and then you just lay it on Billy right and the whole time Billy's just sitting there like what the fuck? Yeah, You're going to kill me if I just get up and like or like is he, is he nuts?
Speaker 2:Now he's nuts. Okay, he is crazy, but he's fine with it. Oh my God, oh my God, do I get him a beer?
Speaker 1:Oh, he said he doesn't drink.
Speaker 2:And then like and then, and then it just goes into I think, something that Casey actually said like way back when it's like like we're not always looking for someone to give us a solution per se.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we just want someone to listen to it. But again, you have to pick your audience in that situation, because not everybody's built to listen to some of the shit that we've been through. Right, unfortunately, your civilian friends probably aren't, unless they've, like, had very close encounters with death themselves, or like firefighters or, you know, police officers, that kind of thing. But yeah, you can completely ruin Billy's life by exposing him to some shit that he didn't even really wasn't really fully sure to accept and willing to talk. So I mean, yeah, some people might shy away from it, just because simply they they don't know how to feel with their own shit. Yet yeah.
Speaker 2:And then you make them uncomfortable because you're either working on yourself or just because of maybe what you said might actually have rang a bell and they're like why are you offending me with your feelings?
Speaker 3:No no.
Speaker 1:Speaking of those friendships, dave, you still, you still talk to your section now like on the like, on the group text and stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, most of them. Yeah, I mean there's it's. It's never perfect, but yeah, there's still a bunch of them. I talked to my old section chief still talk to him and then there's a couple of guys I used to have a house with when we were stationed out here, still in a group chat with them and you know, and it's a couple of us are close enough. You know where, you know having a shitty day, you reach out and you call them and it's really nice to have that still and to know you know some of these guys I've been apart from for a long fucking time but they still got my back and I still have theirs. You know they might be in fucking Florida or you know fucking Boston, but still just a phone call, that's. You know technology.
Speaker 2:North Dakota and South Carolina and we got some of them, because I mean we got, we got one of those group chats as well, and I mean that's kind of actually where this, this whole thing, came to fruition. And then it's only the two of us that even had any interest in doing it, and then it's even like the only two of us that even have any interest in listening to it anymore.
Speaker 2:But we'll go in that group chat and be like hey bro, do you catch the episode? Last night it was dope Like, especially like if you got kids and I don't really, we don't really like episode drop ourselves here, but like if you have children, go back and listen to fucking.
Speaker 1:Michael Rocks.
Speaker 2:Michael Rocks episode. You need to listen to that shit, murdoch on the side. He's like bro, I had no idea. He's like all my kids have tablets. He's like I'm on that shit now.
Speaker 1:Oh fuck, he texted me the other day and I completely, I read it and I just put I didn't fucking respond. I'm so bad about that shit.
Speaker 2:I'm actually a lot more people like texting me and reaching out and like just being like hey, dude, I'm really proud of what you guys are doing, stuff like that. So I mean that one specifically. I would say yeah.
Speaker 3:Murdoch, if you're watching.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry I didn't respond to be to be let out to our our listeners, because that's that's some good shit. Real quick, though, this episode is sponsored by Tejas fabrication in Elkmont, alabama. Our boys will put in them Steve Brasile out there still knocking it out. If you want to follow their Facebook, you'll check them out at Tejas fabrication. They're like I said, they're always rolling some cool shit out of the shop Customer sheet metalwork restorations, custom suspension, engine swaps are pretty much doing everything. I hit them up 256701, 4873 and yeah, sponsor, yeah.
Speaker 1:Is it bad that every time you do the sponsor call, I meet myself and I ask my son to give me another beer.
Speaker 2:Like, who is doing sponsor?
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's been waiting for it Like fucking three minutes. He's been like when the sponsor time I'm going to get a real fast as fuck Boy.
Speaker 2:No, it's all good.
Speaker 1:I do that. I did that the other day with my daughter too. We were overhanging out.
Speaker 2:We're down the street. We were hanging out. We were hanging out we were hanging out, we were hanging out, we were hanging out, we were hanging out.
Speaker 3:We were hanging out, we were hanging out, we were hanging out, we were hanging out, we were hanging and we were hanging out, we were hanging out, we were hanging out, we were hanging out, we were hanging out. And he kept telling me he'd been out. We were hanging out, they were hanging out, they were hanging out, they were hanging out he pushed me down the street, the neighbor's house, and I'm like, hey baby, why are you're going to get another autopop? You might grab a beer and she's like which one do you want?
Speaker 1:I'm like hmm, I'm like. I'm like, grab this one.
Speaker 3:She's like I can open it for you too, and I'm like no baby.
Speaker 1:That's fine, I'll open it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're so helpful, but thank you doesn't jammer will.
Speaker 2:And then now they got their own place and they have to, and it's it's. I gotta tell you, dude, it's not easy for me, keep on. I've been working with her and I'm like I come in here in my office and I'm like here's a cup, here's a cup like here's a fucking can from a week ago. I got shit everywhere, dude, but yeah, that's me, that's my ADHD. It's just like set me down, let's go do something else, and I'm like all right.
Speaker 3:Yep, Yep. And then he's like shit. I can't find my gloves. I can't find my goggles. Where did I put my hat?
Speaker 2:Yeah, where's my phone at? I haven't looked at my phone for 30 minutes. Oh my god damn hand.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I did that today. I grabbed my Minions gloves and I'm holding my gloves in one hand and I forgot that they were in my hand. And he has an identical pair of gloves and I grab them off the welding table and I'm walking away and I'm like what am I doing now? I got his gloves and my gloves and I didn't even need my gloves. Oh, shit.
Speaker 1:Oh, I had a, sorry, I had a my bad.
Speaker 2:You got a. Thing.
Speaker 3:Had a freeze.
Speaker 2:Oh, now he's lagging. All right, he's back. Am I back?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I had a question I wanted to ask, and I didn't think about it until you brought up the active national guard thing. What's y'all's opinion on this?
Speaker 2:I like it.
Speaker 3:I think it has a lot of advantages. He's lagging again.
Speaker 1:Did I freeze? Again? Yep, am I back now?
Speaker 3:Yep that, or you can hold yourself really still yeah.
Speaker 1:Do y'all think it's easier for national guard or reservists to transition out of the military than it is active duty soldiers?
Speaker 2:That's a good question I did here at that time.
Speaker 3:I think it would be a lot easier. I think it would be much easier Because you're living like a dual role. Even if you're in an active position where you're full time, you're just working an office job really, and then you're going home and you're not living on post, so you're paying your own bills. You're having to clean your own house, you're having to oh shit, my lease is up. I got to find another place to rent because they won't let me renew it, because I'm a shit bag or whatever.
Speaker 3:I think for a lot of guys that's probably one of the hardest things. Because I'm from the generation that I watched Desert Storm happen as a kid I was fucking glued to the TV and I'm like dad, I'm going to join the fucking army, I'm going to be in the military. And he didn't serve. Both of my grandfathers had served and they didn't really talk much about it yet until I joined. But I was determined, I'm going in and then watching all these kids come in at like 16, 17, 18, doing their split op stuff and whatever they call it these guys' future soldier program or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, fucking Christ, but they can't vote yet, they can't buy smokes yet. They have never paid their own bill. They're driving mommy and daddy's car. They don't know how to wipe their own ass, let alone soldier or be a service member. And then they get put in the barracks and they got free room and board. They got free utilities. They're spending their money on cell phones, cars and strippers and that's it. Yeah, let's charge yours in Camaros.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and maybe all day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, with the 26% interest rate. And then you get them out and they're like they're losing their shit because they don't know the first thing about even finding a place to rent or buying a house or nothing. No, yeah.
Speaker 3:The military doesn't give a shit. They give you a one-day transition class and they teach you how to write a resume, and it's all fucking outdated anyways, and it's like what the hell is this? This is not a transition program, this is a here's the last little bit of it. And you still owe CIS $4,000 for shit that you didn't damage or lose.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I did. That's it, like don't let the door hit you, and it's just fucking shitty. And it's like what we tried to do for Sergeant's Time Training is we did Sergeant's Time Training every Thursday and it's just, basically, it's up to your. I don't know what you guys did, but for us it was like it was up to our section chief. We'd split off as a section and we have to go do some sort of training for the whole day. Yeah, and like I had a great chief, the fucking kick ass dude. He's actually going warrant. Fuck yeah, shout out to future warrant officer Christopher Harvey, your fucking badass. We fucked them for sticking you in B-Doc, gave them a stick and went warrant. But he was really good about like he'd take us in the fucking office over on the whiteboard and he's like OK, here's my fucking checkbook. How do I balance this shit?
Speaker 1:Oh shit.
Speaker 3:Like, I'm going to teach you, motherfuckers, how to balance checkbooks. I'm going to teach you how to make a budget. I'm going to teach you like, oh yeah, you got these fucking utilities and you got a problem with something. This is who you got to call.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fucking huge.
Speaker 3:These kids don't know any of that.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:Or you know, we did. We did, you know, because we had just come back from Afghanistan. We already know everything we need to know about feeling our weapon. We already know. You know all the combat, lifesaver stuff and everything else to soldier Like. We got it Great. Ok, there's a patch on the shoulder, we got it. But yeah, he was fucking awesome about like actually showing us you know real shit. You know because we had we had kids that were with us that had just had no idea. Like my flight to Iraq. This dude turned 18 on our way to Iraq. Like on the fucking plane.
Speaker 1:If our flight would have left, if our flight would have left like six hours earlier this is task.
Speaker 1:That's fucking bad ass that you are. That that you know that he did that. I wish yeah sometimes I think, Leadership. Sometimes I think about, like you know, ridiculous ways. Because Me now, you know, I joined me. I joined as a single soldier, my first deployment. I was single. So I came back, you know, with all that deployment, mommy, because we didn't mean I have anything to spend it on when I was deployed the first time. So I came back. You know, rich is shit for a fucking 19 year old, you know rich baby rich and.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I blew it off long.
Speaker 1:I blew it on booze, that I wasn't legally able to buy, and clothes that I lost within two months, you know, and yeah, that was the big thing dude clothes.
Speaker 2:So I don't know why I was just like gotta get some dope ass clothes, I mean civilian clothes.
Speaker 1:He's so stupid.
Speaker 2:I've thought about what they gave you yeah, I thought about before like once.
Speaker 1:Like I wonder if I wonder if more soldiers would be successful if they force single soldiers to pay rent At the barracks, like give them.
Speaker 3:Give them partial, but work them to make their payment. Yeah, pay their utilities turn. Yeah, go in there and lock out that fucking you know that sink if that little asshole doesn't pay his share.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or even, like you know, because I had soldiers at Fort and when I was a station at Fort Riley that came up to me like they had great. I mean they had, they had great. Point. It's like I would. You know, I would much rather get like half BAH or just partial and just live, live off post because this shit is stupid. Yeah, like what am I learning? What am I learning Just living rent-free in this piece of shit? Like I don't mean that's a good point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I Always hated at four people that lived in the barracks. It's just how easy it was for someone to just completely fuck up your Thursday night.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, there's no separation either.
Speaker 2:I Totally understand there and in CEO on, yeah, on. Cq is like you know what dude fuck the third floor right now. I'm about to go check the. I'm about to go check the. I'm about to go check the fucking laundry room, didn't? This laundry room is dirty. I'm knocking on every door and I'm waking. Everybody know why it was.
Speaker 3:I fucking can, and it's just yeah barracks party because he's bored and pissed off.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah yeah, I catch you.
Speaker 3:Those are those, those are always the assholes where their fucking wife didn't want them at home. Anyways, he's just grumpy and sitting up there on the third floor like, oh, I'm gonna fuck with you guys right. Yeah, what's up man?
Speaker 2:We didn't have a lot. We didn't have a lot of those guys. I Could think of one maybe.
Speaker 3:I can't.
Speaker 2:Oh, there we go but definitely was like that on CQ. There's the comment if that one was on CQ. Alder was on CQ quite a bit though he was. He was dope yeah because it was drove, drove shuttles to my Thanksgiving party. One time when he was on CQ Bringing people back and forth from the barracks to my house.
Speaker 3:Oh yes, oh shit, I can't respond. I served with Josh.
Speaker 1:Josh appears.
Speaker 3:Yep oh my bad. Fucking he. He got away with some shit. Well, I did too, oh man, yeah, I got away with some serious stuff. I actually I set a record at Fort Sill for drunk on duty, actually after qualifying expert.
Speaker 2:I Shot top tank. I don't want to say that out loud.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, it was ratting out Medeiros. He's solid, he knows He'll tell you. He'd come on and tell you everything. He don't give a shit. He's got no filter anymore. I had that he's doing good, though he's doing good, though, like he's been lining his peas and queues.
Speaker 1:Is he still?
Speaker 3:in him? We still no. No, he's out, he's been out, he got, he got the, he got the old boot.
Speaker 2:Gotcha. Happens to the best of them didn't happen to the best.
Speaker 3:No, he owns a shit though. He owns a shit, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:That's good dude. I believe myself to be the same. I got. I smoked weed and then one best failed one drug test and got kicked out.
Speaker 3:Only. Thing.
Speaker 2:I did wrong, so it's like really.
Speaker 2:I got get it. And then I went to my my reading for my 15 and he, just the Sartre major, was just not like. It was a zero tolerance thing and it was that first I could deployment everybody's all like. And he was just like you know what do you got to save yourselves? No, you know nothing. You know like I fucked up. I'm here, you know I'm willing to serve my extra duty, do my thing to take my money, take my rank back to work. You know, right, move forward. He's like, oh yeah, you're not going back. He's like you're definitely doing extra duty, but you know, so you're gonna, you're gonna get out of the army. And he was like trying to take my benefits and everything. But he may try to make a personal because I wore tanker boots into his Scout Sartre majors office, so he didn't like.
Speaker 2:I was just like that's all I got left. I got any boots Empty boots.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was a shit call dude.
Speaker 2:I remember that. I remember just how terrified I was in that moment Because I was actually laying on my couch and it was like two or three weeks after a piss test. So I'm like, I'm like in that thing, I think I'm good because I did smoke on on mid-tours or on leave after you know, that's what I told him. Like I smoke at a bar, someone outside smoking cigarettes I'm like here's a joint. I'm like, fuck yeah, think shit of it.
Speaker 3:I'm all leave. Yeah, I was like I'm fucking do it.
Speaker 2:I wasn't, so I mean, and that's what I told him. They're like where'd you buy it? And I like internal affairs trying to get me to snitch on everybody like dude, I don't know. He's like there's a lot of weed going around, like I bet there is, but I don't None of these people, because my whole unit's gone. I like I'm the last of like six remaining people, but you know. I didn't say that I mean, it is what it is. That's where I'm at, and that's that's what led me to where I'm at.
Speaker 3:It's part of my journey, sucks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it does, but I wouldn't be where I'm at, you know that's true but I would have went to that is very true. We would have been going back to basic training together. After that deployment, back to scout and then, yeah, out of into Korea. Yeah, that would have been dope. But Josh.
Speaker 1:Josh said fucks the idea.
Speaker 2:They're up my shit like nobody's business. Like dude. I've never been interrogated harder for anything more in my life.
Speaker 1:No, like dude they're like what bar you had?
Speaker 2:I was just like fucking bills pub and and blackjack Missouri bills pub. They're like okay, who works there? Is there anybody in the unit that has weed?
Speaker 1:I'm like oh my god, we did you get it?
Speaker 2:did you get it from the unit and take it to there? I was like it, we're in Texas. That's a misery. I'm like no, I did not break fucking state lines with Lock going around like yeah, there is, you just play. Sucks you ever been.
Speaker 3:Ain't nothing else to do. Yeah, that was for, that was for it. Still like there's nothing, that there's nothing in any direction for a long time. Even if you go really fast, there's nothing out there, man, it's just yeah. We I rode down to Austin a couple times. That turned out to be trouble too, but you know, that's all I didn't get in trouble for.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I did more shit than I didn't get in trouble for. The, you know isn't that crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a, there's a. I can't, I can't. I Literally can't count how many times I went to six feet and came back, because I don't remember how we came back.
Speaker 2:No idea we actually got pulled over, I think, and a rooster or somebody talked us out of it. I Think after the car was passed out in the back seat Time we got stuck in a river, that magnum dude we were like shit. We almost lost it in a river. We were like on this epic Fourth of July trip where we filled a pinata with like every firework that we bought at this fireworks stand and Shot it off. I remember I used to have that little video on my computer, but uh oh.
Speaker 2:There's since been trashed. But dude, it was. We just tied this pinata full of firecrackers and artillery shells up and, like, dude was in the back seat Doc Whitaker was actually in the back seat rigging this thing up for like an hour. He's finally he's like I'm done Roman candles at this fucking thing and finally caught. And then, yeah, dude, the video is just like old, blurry digital cameras. It's like us running away like Shit yeah, as rain. I remember that we went to Rio's this hometown dude, yeah, fucked up.
Speaker 1:Was it Johnsonville or something?
Speaker 2:There was like a Z-Bass where the fuck is that exactly, dude.
Speaker 1:It's yeah, they're like I.
Speaker 2:Bitch ass back out here, stole my fireworks and he was shooting him off in the bar and he's the reason that the cops came. But I had to talk to the cops that night. Dude, like I'm all fucked up, like hey, don't worry, my soldiers are here, we have the fireworks, but we didn't shoot him. It was the Z-Bass over here. Oh.
Speaker 3:Man, so so many fucking, yeah, so many good times, because that's like we were young and we didn't give a shit. Like we're just, like we're fucking invincible, like we're trained to fucking Cute big fucking equipment and like blow shit up for a living and then you're paying us Decent wages to live in bumfuck Egypt and the only thing to do is like get fucked up with our buddies. Yeah, we got ourselves into a lot of shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I was a hundred percent dude, if I was like a, as long as you don't drink like. Drinking is a bigger problem than I think. Having a little toke at the end of the night after a deployment.
Speaker 3:Oh, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 2:I was at a bar, whatever. Damn dude you know wouldn't be here. That was part of my letter to you know, like, don't change your thing, because because shit, uh shit, you know Shit does never go as planned and If it did, you know you'd be in a completely different situation than you are, and that's. That's like sometimes the the beauty and the Pain kind of like you were talking about, like we talked about earlier with Like you find your therapist through a girl who otherwise is Like I don't have any other memories from this girl, except for like she might be nuts, but she did put me in that place to you know, wake up with the fucking therapist and that's dope do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's always. You know both from those uncomfortable places.
Speaker 3:Dude, that's one like all the about here All the bad decisions that you made in life. You know we're like you made the wrong call, but it it pushed you to grow, it pushed you to learn from it, like you know, because you, if you didn't learn from not balancing your fucking checkbook and had to go without water for a couple days or without power for a couple days, well then it wouldn't be so fucking important for you in the future, you know. But now you're like, oh shit, my priorities are fucked and I really need to focus on this. And I need to add this to something that I am proactive about and you know it. As long as you can reflect on the things, you know that that you've done, right and wrong, it reflection is the big, you know, not a reaction, because you like who you are as a person is a product of, of your reflection. I like that and.
Speaker 3:You know, and it and it takes that. It takes that self-awareness and and it takes that like that introspection and you got to admit to the shit that she did wrong and you got to own up to it, otherwise you're never gonna fucking learn from it. Otherwise, you're never gonna fucking learn from it.
Speaker 1:Yes, fuck yeah, clipped. I'm reeling the fuck out of that.
Speaker 3:I like that.
Speaker 1:I like that. Hell yeah, dude, I mean it.
Speaker 3:Is it, it? That that's how it is, though, and that's what you know. That's what therapy like. So it's a my therapist, because there's different approaches yeah, to therapy, and, and he takes the systemic approach, and that means the answer is inside of you. You know, like, so, maybe, maybe he's totally against smoking pot. You know personally, but you could talk to him half your session, every fucking session, about getting high and he's like okay, well, what does it do for you? Like, is this the thing that that gives you what you need from it, are you? You know he's not gonna judge you based on it, because it's your answer. Yeah, he's just there to help guide you through it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's actually something that I'm personally working with now. Right now I was like, uh, like maybe I do need to give it up for a while. I'm like, well, I'm sitting at home, I don't really do shit. I mean I'm gonna say I don't parent, but I mean, at the same time, like that's also what keeps me fucking sane right now. I like I said, I said at home, I'm like, you know, yeah, I love it. I mean I don't, I don't love my dad too, and I and I, and it's just, it's hard because we keep losing fucking day cares and shit. And you know, my wife almost cried this morning. She said just, uh, just taking, because our niece, our sister, lives right around the corner, so they're, they're walk every morning and they were taking her, uh, her daughter still in the daycare because they were in there longer on the daycare because they were in there longer.
Speaker 2:So she didn't lose her spot and Griffin like he was confused because, you know Blake's going to like. Oh, blake's going to play with her friends.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yeah, my wife was like and that, yeah, that sucks, especially at that age, cause it's like, you know, they, they, yeah, they don't have any idea. They're almost like they feel like they did something wrong, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and this is like all right, go back to hanging out with dad. And then it's like dad's, just like you know, cause, like I'm and I admittedly I've been bummed about it just because it's been an up and down for me Like I enjoy staying home with him, but at this point, like because of what we just said, it's not good for him anymore. Like he's, he's to the point where he wants to be around kids. He wants to be doing shit.
Speaker 3:He wants to be social yeah.
Speaker 2:And doing other stuff than just like hanging out with his dad every day. Who's like? You know, like I'm doing all the things, but like I'm just not. I'm not trained for it. I've never been, you know. I don't want to raise a mini me per se, cause I do some. I'm still doing some things that I see him do. That I'm like shit. He fucking learned that for me already.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But yeah, so it's tough, but like yeah, without being able to go out and puff a little dubage every once in a while, I think. I'd be in a different world. But I also, like you know, I'm a medical patient of the state of North Dakota, so you, I'm allowed to.
Speaker 3:I know my neighbors are like you're allowed to smoke anything you want here in Washington.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3:Damn really.
Speaker 2:Crack anything.
Speaker 3:It's all decriminalized, everything, possession, totally decriminalized. Yep Done. We're not going to prosecute you. Apparently, the Don't go visit. The law was expiring and they're like we don't need to renew that.
Speaker 1:Damn dude.
Speaker 2:Portland like that too, oregon's like that too. So what?
Speaker 1:happens to what happens to the? I mean, I don't know if you don't have the answer, but like what happens to the guys that got convicted for those?
Speaker 3:for those things. They're still sitting there in jail. That sucks, dude. It's just. Yeah, it's not like a pardon base. I mean, I guess, if they don't renew the laws soon enough, I'm sure that would give some kind of legal precedent to be like hey, I'm in jail for something that's legal, what are you going to do about it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean there's dudes, that there's probably still dudes in jail in Colorado for moving like bricks of fucking weed from you know 20 years ago.
Speaker 3:Yeah, which is?
Speaker 2:yeah.
Speaker 3:Which is crazy. We tried to build a prison.
Speaker 2:We tried to build a prison.
Speaker 3:You and your gateway drugs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:You're going to make me smoke meth because I got too high.
Speaker 2:Fuck that dude. The reason I don't smoke meth is because I got too high. Gateway to nothing.
Speaker 3:No, no gateway to nothing.
Speaker 2:Gateway to my pantry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've been on gummies now for like two months now and meth is the last thing on my fucking mind.
Speaker 2:You know, like you know what I'm chilling right now, I can't order it. What do you want to do? Climb a fucking wall.
Speaker 3:They won't ship them to Washington what? I bet you, I could get some meth in like an hour.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, you can get some meth gummies if you want God damn.
Speaker 3:So yeah, that's some of the crazy stuff, that's. You know, if it wasn't for my daughter, there is no fucking way I would still be here in Washington state, Absolutely not.
Speaker 2:Like it's horrible. It's a pretty picture of it and he says it's getting worse, especially with all the drug use. And like you can just put it everywhere and the thought process behind it wasn't something like well, if we let them do it, then maybe they won't do it as much Exactly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, and you know, like even free needles. Like teaching kids how to administer Narcan in school, Like that's how bad it is, you know, like that is fucked up. Like you let this get to a point that you think it's okay that my seven year old should know how to give somebody Narcan.
Speaker 2:Or even that's how bad it is.
Speaker 3:That's how bad it is. Yeah, that's how bad it is.
Speaker 2:You know, like we did, like a data program in like sixth grade or whatever, that drugs are really awesome or drugs are education.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's drug resistance education.
Speaker 2:Drugs are really awesome. That's what I said. But now I just remember sitting there and I'm like my one buddy's like oh, my brother's got some of that and we're like we're going to Joey's house after fucking class. Yeah, that's great, it's my smoke. We've the first time there you go, You're right. Mindy, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, you're right, Mindy, Lying to themselves. They need to address the mental health crisis if they want to concur the drug crisis, that's for sure. Like that's the problem with fucking everything right now With a lot of other things that I don't know if you guys want to get into it. Probably not, but that's the problem with a lot of other things.
Speaker 1:Drugs, they're really popular right now.
Speaker 3:It's just like everybody's fucking special and nobody needs help. Yeah, he's, oh. No, he's just upset, or he's just this, or he. No, he fucking stabbed six people. He probably is in the middle of some kind of a mental health crisis and it was probably flagged way ahead of time by somebody. And nobody fucking listened. Yeah, or nobody wanted to give him that care. They're like, oh no, he'll just be pissed off and sitting in the corner and smoke meth all day. No, he finally got pissed off and then he stabbed six people. Well, yeah, While he was smoking. That's what happens. Yeah, yeah, that's just a big impression of things.
Speaker 2:It's more of the gateway drug that he did. Put him in a group Put him in a group you know.
Speaker 3:Be like hey, man, we're not even going to put you in jail, Like you're, just we're taking your drugs because we found you with them. We're not even putting you in jail, we're going to mandate that you just fucking hang out with these other dudes and one person can at least like talk to you all and be like why the fuck we doing this?
Speaker 2:What are we, you know, shine some light on different opportunities.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Smoke meth all day. You can actually go outside and not be on meth.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'd see an improvement if they mandated AA, and that's a fucking cult.
Speaker 1:Fuck yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everyone's just yeah. Anybody who's been through AA is literally like will respond to you the exact same way. You know like just beating into them.
Speaker 3:Well, you're replacing one addiction with another being addicted to AA. It's your steps, yeah, it's your steps. It's your coins. It's your yeah, it's your meetings.
Speaker 2:It's like whenever you don't have it, then it's like I don't have it and it's all got a drink, but yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean that's what you need. That's what you need. But yeah, mental health should be at the top of things. To address Mindset matters for sure, no tiptoeing around feelings.
Speaker 3:And that's.
Speaker 2:I think that's what we do here on this podcast. Yeah, right there it is, and that's why it's fucking beautiful thing. It is a beautiful thing yeah. It's like this group of strangers that just feel comfortable enough to sit and talk and re-record it and we actually get more watches on the Facebook afterwards. I mean, ever since we started doing this, our downloads are way down, but I think people are just here to watch it.
Speaker 3:Oh nice.
Speaker 2:It's a cool show, dude. I would watch this show if I I do I do watch it.
Speaker 3:I would be into it.
Speaker 2:These motherfuckers are goofy as hell and KZ's got dope mustache dude, I'd want to look at that thing all the time. Yeah, a beard's coming back in. I had to shave it for a job Now it makes me really sad.
Speaker 3:Oh, fuck that job, fuck that job, fuck those, these bags Fucking talk suckers. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think we lost call for a second. So that's all that, David, you brought up. Like when we first started. You brought up the fact that you wrote another letter. I don't want to go too long and I don't want to end with that shit, because that shit's probably heavy as shit.
Speaker 1:So it's heavy, it's really heavy, yeah, I don't want to end with this, so before we run out of time, we can go as long as we want, but if you don't mind, you want to share it, dude, as soon as Kyle gets your shit together.
Speaker 3:Can you guys share it? Yeah, let's do it, I know. Can you-?
Speaker 1:I can hear you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know why. It'll catch up later, I think Okay.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, oh, you'll find it in a second. Oh yep, this is the right one. Yeah, all right. Do we need to wait for Kyle, or are you just going to-.
Speaker 2:No, I'm good.
Speaker 3:I'm still here, it's just my Right on.
Speaker 2:It's when my internet's slow the camera.
Speaker 3:They sacrifice the camera for the voice which is dope, oh, right on.
Speaker 2:I'm in a whip-back. I'm in a second Too many people watching, I got to hide my face. Yeah, so I oh, there's my little brother.
Speaker 3:I've never watched this before, but this guy at the bottom is ugly, cute, frigged. I'd watch him. I love you, brian, my little brother right there, that is that's tough. He is the best fucking father I have ever seen in my life. Hell yeah, that motherfucker, he I don't know, I'm going to be like I'm going to be like I'm going to be like I'm going to be like I don't know, I'm going to put him out there a little bit. His son had some extra needs and that motherfucker is the best father I have ever seen in my entire life.
Speaker 1:Cherry Hell yeah.
Speaker 3:Brian, yeah yeah, he's little to fucking bad and he sucks the body work All right, so, yeah. So I felt like I told you guys, you guys, I felt like I was a little focused too much on you know, something that I had been struggling with for the last double days and I and I, like I don't think that I did the letter to myself of a real service. I think I could have made it more broad spectrum and I could have come from a deeper place.
Speaker 1:Which is a lot to say, because, because the one you I mean because the one you sent to us, in my opinion was still deep as shit. So that's. I mean yeah, that's all credit to yourself there, man, that's but yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3:So I got, I got another one and I'm probably going to cry, but I'm going to get through it. Yeah, you got to do it.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can't imagine what it would be like in your position again. Of course, I remember what it was, but life in the world have changed so much since then. We have made so many very decisions which have drastically altered the course of life. Some are good, some will be very bad. My hope for you is that with this letter you might still choose some of those bads, even just for the sake of learning it yourself, but also so you might have a better life. At my point in it.
Speaker 3:First, I'm going to steal a saying that has resounded with me so very heavily. Tomorrow needs you. Tomorrow is going to come to mean our parents. Dad would just blame himself anyways. Tomorrow is going to come to mean our boys, because they will eventually reconcile with you. Tomorrow is going to come to mean our beautiful daughter. She will become the reason you choose the right path more than a few times. She's not grown yet in my time, but even at seven you're going to come to see all the amazing things she's going to contribute to this world and, more importantly, you're going to realize that you are her rock and her world. It's worth it. Lock it up and keep pushing.
Speaker 3:We've done some really stupid shit. We made some really bad decisions that have led to some really hard choices, but, brother, there's some light at the end of the tunnel. We finally admitted defeat and got some help and after a while he's going to tell you that you're doing it and he's just going to want to check in on you here and there. So take it from me the therapy works and you need to commit to it. I won't tell you what happens with your service, but I will tell you not to pass up that invite with grandpa. It'll be one of the last times you get to see him and he's going to download some shit on you. He's going to give you all the shit stories of his time overseas, the endings to the happy stories that he told us as kids. You make sure that you take it all to heart, because he's going to give you some knowledge that I don't know I could give you, and it's really only him who could take that leap. I don't care what it is, just jump, jump headfirst and don't be afraid to fall. We never saw ourselves pass what 50. Don't worry about that. Just push forward and take those leaps of faith. Some things aren't going to work and others will be life changing. So just jump. Choose your friends wisely. We now have some that we will never lose. Don't worry about checking in with them all the time. Make being vulnerable with them, be open, be honest, reach out to them when you need them or when they need you. You'll have a few stick by your side, even from afar, for forever.
Speaker 3:If you listen to anything, I have to say listen now. Life is a fucking battle, but you don't have to do it alone. Recognize the people around you who genuinely fucking love you. Cling to them, open up, show them who you are and share everything possible with them. They are going to accept you. They are going to love you. They are going to be invested in who you become. Don't be afraid to share with them. Don't be afraid to cry with them. Most of all, don't miss your chance to embrace them. I have one single regret right now, and that's closing myself off. You are not alone and you never will be. You will always have people that love and accept you and want to know it all and sincerely hope that you share it To better men with love and hope for you. Your older self.
Speaker 2:Dude, that was really fucking good. Holy fuck, dude. I did it, dude. He choked a couple of times. I was definitely feeling it, dude, I definitely thank you for sharing that. That was really good. Definitely, I had some points there that I felt very deeply, especially at one point when you said we never saw ourselves pass 50.
Speaker 1:That was awesome.
Speaker 2:That was awesome.
Speaker 3:As a kid I never did. I never saw myself pass 50. I'm like, fuck it, I'm not going to live to be that old anyway.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and now I'm like and it's funny you said that too, because I always think of myself as like now I'm dealing with the after effects of being close to 40. Now I'm like, oh fuck, now I kind of want to push it to 80, because now I got kids and all this stuff that.
Speaker 3:I want yeah, now you have a reason to stick around. Now you're like fuck man, I can't be. I got to throw that football. I got to play catch. I got to go to the batting cages. I got to do all this shit. I got to watch them fucking walk, I got to go to the batting cages and all of them, yeah it's. You know, kids are a whole different perspective. That definitely changes a lot.
Speaker 2:Balls deep in that dad life.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But yeah, dude, that was definitely. Yeah, your boy Deris said he's had him cried in years. So thank you for that. And, bendy, yeah, definitely, amazing letter. Definitely probably took a lot to write and probably took even a lot more to come on and say as well.
Speaker 3:So thank you for for well, I mean, that's the, that's the mission that I see you guys happen is like getting people to come on and and share your story. You know, tell, tell why they did things and why they didn't do things and, and you know, talk about the, the transition period. You know that that seems to be like a common you know, I don't care how long you've been in, it seems to be a common issue with all veterans is that transition? And I really believe in what you guys are trying to do and I'm just glad I could do my part in it.
Speaker 1:That's gonna. I hope you know, David, that's gonna. I mean, I mean, I mean I'm glad, I don't know who, I don't know when, but I hope you know that's gonna help someone. That's gonna help somebody, brother, sister.
Speaker 3:Cause that's the. I was talking to my therapist yesterday and he's like well, so you know, like what's your, what's your goal, like what is your hope for going on that podcast? And I was like you know what, I don't care when it is, I just I hope that one person hears something that I have to say and they can at least identify with it and at some point in their life they're like you know what? Somebody else went through it too. Yes, so it's not that bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think, there's a lot to take away from your letter, but like the one thing, that one thing that got me was when you, when you're saying that you know you, we admitted defeat, you know we got help. That's a big fucking step and I think that's, you can't do it alone.
Speaker 1:No, and then no, and that's the hardest thing to do for for all of us. Um, my, you know I'll speak for myself. Specifically, it's the hardest thing to do is just admit defeat, like I can't fucking do this anymore. You know, I need, I need fucking help. Fuck dude, how, what was the? Um? Damn dude, how long, how long did it take to think, just to just to think about that?
Speaker 3:I just sat down and spit it out, fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:Fuck yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, I always liked to write when I was younger and like to do stuff like that and I and it's always been a really good, it's always been a really good way in outlet for me and a really good way for me to communicate, so yeah, yeah, hey, thanks, thanks for doing that.
Speaker 1:I really, I really appreciate that. Yeah, you're welcome. You know well, whatever you were going through when you, when you and I first connected on Facebook Messenger, to now like, um, yeah, that's dude, I appreciate you sharing that letter. Dude, that's fucking powerful. That's fucking powerful dude. Thank you, you know, did your, did your therapist read a seed or read it?
Speaker 3:No, he didn't even read it. Um, I, he's gonna, I he's gonna listen, though, at some point, because I told him I was coming on and he was like, okay, I'm gonna have to watch that.
Speaker 1:And I was like okay, yeah, hell, yeah, dude. Yeah, oh, shit, yeah, there's some. There's something about being a parent that just kind of just like forces you to like, um, shits, shits. Some of the armor that are, yeah, shits, some of that armor that you have on. You know what I'm saying? Oh for sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for sure. Yeah, my daughter is. Yeah, my, you know and that that's another thing that you know, you figure out is like you. You have to be able to cry in front of your kids. You have to be able to laugh in front of your kids. You have to. You have to teach them that it's healthy to show these emotions.
Speaker 3:You know, like you can't just be a rock all the time. You know, when she needs a rock or he needs a rock, like you bet your ass, you sure as fuck should be one, yeah, um, you know. But when you're upset about something and and you're, you know, you're, you're working through some stuff, like you should, you should, in a healthy way, express those emotions to them and let them see it and let you see, let them see you go through it. Yes, so that they understand how to deal with it in a healthy way. You know, cause? We, we all just want to turn to anger first. Whether we're sad or or upset, or irritated or whatever, it is our first outlet, it. We were trained to use anger. Yeah, and it's easy to use anger. So it's focused on one thing and use, use that as fuel to move through the next object. Yeah, and just go normal in situations.
Speaker 2:I used to stand up every morning at six 30 in the morning and scream at the top of my lungs one shot, one kill every fucking day. There's, you know. And then, while across from this is as Fox troops screaming, fucking, relentless violence, you know it's just yeah.
Speaker 3:And then somebody does something wrong and you all get smoked and you all have to shut the fuck up and bottle it up. Don't be relentless. I think that it's totally the opposite, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's, you know, just just to share a little bit. Like that's a conversation that my son and I had yesterday, very, very small, very minute conversation, like our situation. But, like you know, we just got him a, we got him an Xbox and he was playing online and you know, I was working and his mom came into the office or to our bedroom and he was like hey. And she was like hey, you need to talk to him, cause he's like he's in there screaming pissed off. You know it's like hey, you know. You know I had to remind. You know, not not remind him, but teach him like, um, like emotions are okay, but we had to, we had, we had to remind ourselves that, like you're in charge of that controller, like if it gets you that pissed off, you can turn it off. It's as easy as turning it. It's as easy as turning it off. Like we shouldn't let out things like that, shouldn't make you mad. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I just, yeah, not just teaching him to deal with it, but teaching him to understand when he hits that limit and then hold himself accountable and pull himself back from it. You know cause you can you can teach them how to deal with it. Yeah, and you can also teach them. Okay, I can remove myself from the situation, cause I know I'm hitting my limit. I'm hitting my wall.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's I mean, and that's how you know, and I'll be the first one to say like he gets that shit from me cause that's how I used to.
Speaker 1:That's how it used to be, like you know, getting pissed off at just small shit and just screaming, and you know, and I hate myself for it sometimes, but you know, where the fuck else is he going to learn shit, except from dad he's? That's where you, you know, and then you know, and I'll be, I'd be a hypocrite to sit there and like work on myself and then see my son like act the way I acted or act the way he's. You know was taught from watching me. So I had to sit. I had to sit him down. Hey, emotions are okay, it's okay to get mad. Get mad, but not at that level.
Speaker 1:If you get mad at that level, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. Uh, that's your brain trying to tell you to turn it off. You're in control. That's why it's called a controller and it's in your hand. Turn it off, bro, Like turn off yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I just realized, you know, like I thought, like I thought for sure, you know, um, because I hadn't really had to restructure like my social life, you know, in the last few years, and um, and I thought for sure, like I was teaching my daughter, you know, oh yeah, you know, dad has friends and this is how he interacts with them. And you know, sometimes we get them long and sometimes we don't, and you know, and then, um, we went to the um, they have a shindig here in town and we went to the shindig the other weekend and everywhere we go, you know, uh, I got friends stopping me that she's never met you know and they're just like, oh hey, dave, how's it going?
Speaker 3:And I'm like, oh, yeah, you know. And so her and I were just walking around, two of us, and we end up stopping and talking to all these different people and we're leaving. And she was like, dad, you have a lot of friends. And I was like, actually, yeah, I do. And she was like how come? I've never met him before? And I'm like you know what baby? You're right, I should start making them, cause, you know, some of them don't have kids, or or a little bit older, and their kids are grown totally. I'm like you know what? I should start making them. Do stuff with us.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know, like I don't have to wait until I don't have my daughter to go hang out with you guys, like let's do something that's kid friendly. Yeah, let's, let's go, you know, go do the movie in the park, go, do you know. Or you know, go putt putting or go do something fun, and let's keep it like kid friendly and kid approved and let me bring my daughter, instead of just waiting until I'm free by myself and hanging out with you guys. Yeah, cause essentially, she's missing out. Yeah, she's missing out on that. I'm not showing her enough of that, and so that's something. Yeah, that's something I need to work on.
Speaker 1:And in both, in a, you know both perspectives, like, like you know she's, she's who you are, and and and and you know to, to, to include include her in your friendships, like that. At the same time, you know, if you're reversed, that, like you know, including, including, you froze Damn it.
Speaker 3:I think I.
Speaker 1:I think I know you were going with it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Just you know, you know like no, did it again.
Speaker 2:Oh shit.
Speaker 1:I'm back.
Speaker 2:Including.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what I was trying to say is, like you know that's, that's a good outlook, because you know you, you're, your friends are part of your. Both parties are a part of your life too. So just including both.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's all I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Show them how to help those healthy relationships. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, we, we used to do that, my wife and I uh, I mean, sometimes we still do not going to lie, but like now, it's like we really don't give a shit, or my wife is really good at not giving a shit. Like we're, we're going to do this with our kids because that's who we are, you know we're. We're a family of six, wait, wait.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We're a family of six. You know, take it or leave it, we're good. You know this is what we're doing. You want to come hang out with us? Come hang out with us. All four kids are going to be here.
Speaker 3:Yeah Right, it's going to be a mad house. Deal with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, dude, I'm super, I'm super. Uh, I'm super thankful, David, that you came on today. Dude, Thanks for thanks, for thanks for carving out time. Sorry about yesterday, Thank you. As.
Speaker 2:I'm as I'm still sitting here experiencing technical difficulties, but it's all right. My phone. For some reason it doesn't charge while it's plugged into the PC. But that's a Mac versus PC thing. So my iPhone doesn't charge and that's where my camera is. So instead of scrounging, around.
Speaker 3:You went to the dark side. Yeah, just over here.
Speaker 2:Not that's part of it, though.
Speaker 3:He's naked smoking a blunt yeah, no, I'm not Some medicinal purposes, my wife's listening.
Speaker 2:I am not smoking a blunt in the house, but there's no proof because there's no video. Yeah, or I might be, but.
Speaker 1:I'm not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but yeah, man, I'm wearing pants.
Speaker 1:But yeah, dude, david, I really appreciate you coming on.
Speaker 1:For one and then two. Just like you know, our first interaction together, online, saying that you weren't ready, and then, when you were, ready to come on, you know you can, you know you follow it up, but you follow through with that and I'm I thanks, Thank you for following through with that because, because, like you said, you know, like you said after you read your letter, like, if you, you know, the goal is to help one person, that's our goal, Like that's it's common here, dude.
Speaker 3:That's that's. That's what I'm going to show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, even just one Exactly, and I have no doubt that, like one person, like you, know that you're going to help at least one fucking person if they once, once they hear your letter. So yeah, dave, thanks for coming on today.
Speaker 3:For our listeners out there. Thanks for having me guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, for our listeners out there, if you guys want to be on, it's as easy as how. How Dave came on. Just messages on Facebook or on Instagram. Take talk better. Chat project at gmailcom is our email. You can email us there. Um yeah. So I think our next episode we're coming on live Thursday, pending technical difficulties will be live. We'll be live again Thursday. Appreciate everyone for coming in the comments.
Speaker 3:Let's see, uh like, uh, josh yeah, josh, if you want to come on, dude, yeah, yeah, yeah, you want to come on? Yeah, yeah, give us a shout. We'd love to hear your story.
Speaker 1:Love to hear your story If you're out there. Just you know, our goal is to let every veteran know everyone who's on that mental health journey is that you're not alone. Like David said in his letter, no one's alone in this journey for mental health. So, um, so yeah, reach out to us. Veteranchapprojectginmailcom. Kyle, you get anything.
Speaker 2:I don't know, but just, uh, just a quick. Well, I guess, just a quick reminder that, um, that letter to me challenge is open ended. So I mean, if you ever catch a, catch a whiff of the letter to me challenge and you feel like diving in, those rules are that that challenge never, never ends. So you can, you can send it to us, we'll read it for you, you can come on, read it yourself, you can record yourself reading it, we can put on our Facebook page or anything like that.
Speaker 2:We definitely, we want to hear more of that, because I think that's where some true growth goes on, with with us, those who wrote the letters, and then again, like, those who listen to them, because, like said that it's that one person that we could possibly touch and it makes it all worth it For me personally. Just, I mean knowing that we potentially help one person every time we come and turn this thing on, and it makes it enough, you know enough, and yeah, and yeah, you just can't express it enough as, as you're not alone, we appreciate everybody for the listens, for the likes, for the shares, for buying the, the patches, the shirts, the, whatever man. We love you guys so much. We thank you so much, and I do not have anything else after that.
Speaker 1:Sweet. So, yeah, okay, because off here, David, you're welcome anytime. Anytime we want to come back on, let us know we'll fucking bring you back on first try.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sir, fuck yeah, we gotta start that group still.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I actually I'll message you offline, because there's that the guy. So, stu, yeah, I've been, it's kind of the same thing. So actually, if, if you're into it, I can give you a, give you a link to sign up for that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll talk.
Speaker 2:We'll talk, but yeah, I'll message you after. Okay, man. So yeah shout out to the guild real quick. You guys were. We're trying to grow every day. I think we're close to like 32 members. Bouton and I are going to stations together in October, September and the end of September 29th so yeah, so if you want to get that signed up, you can meet us in Missouri for that.
Speaker 2:It'll be like a. Basically it's like a. I wanted to say it's like a basic training for your meant like. It's like a men's survival slash spiritual camp out. Yeah, that'll be a big one, that's gonna be dope, all right. Well, you guys have a good night. God bless Peace, so goodnight.
