Veteran Chat Project
Veteran Chat Project
The Inspiring Blend of Filmmaking, Internet Crime, and Mental Health Awareness
Ever wonder what it takes to break down the stigma surrounding mental health? Join us as we get real with Michael Rock about the power of vulnerability, the strength found in expressing emotions, and the critical role of peer support in fostering open conversations. We're peeling back the layers on the taboo of ‘tough guy’ personas and stepping into the healing space of acceptance and free help.
Venture with us into the intense world of the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. Michael bravely opens up about the mental toll of this work, highlighting the importance of seeking balance and knowing when to step back. For all you brave veterans out there, we discuss the Hero Core's 10-month internship program as a possible avenue to transition into this field. And make no mistake, we're also tackling the tough topic of online grooming - shedding light and raising awareness on the importance of staying safe online is our mission.
Switching gears, we're celebrating the magic of filmmaking. Hear the inspiring journey of an aspiring actor, learn about the joy of casting friends and family in movies, and discover the importance of representation in cinema. We also delve into the creation of an award-winning movie, 'My Willow', and the thrilling experience of participating in the Carson Creepy Short Horror Film Competition. Lastly, as your host, let me assure you that we're adamant about the quality of our content and the power of conversations. We hope to leave you inspired to find your balance, chase your dreams, and take risks while staying connected with your loved ones. This podcast is a rollercoaster ride you won't want to miss!
And we are back. What's up everybody? Kyle better chat project, if you remember, she had been a couple months now. But Michael Rock is back, super thankful to have him I was. As soon as I messaged him he was like fuck yeah, let's do it. We were actually just talking about something and decided to just jump right into it. I guess it's just kind of like the reason this podcast even exists before we get into more of with him and everything like that, because if you do remember the episode, you know him already. If not, I'll post the link to that episode. But we were kind of just talking on that mental health aspect of like it's kind of like the brave thing to be that guy that, like he said, cries at movies Like dude. I was watching what was it? Love of the Game, kevin Costner movie where he's Billy Chapel. He's a pitcher for the Tigers, played there for like 16 years and it's like his whole life story while he's throwing a no hitter and the video, I'm gonna fuck around like a baby.
Speaker 1:You know and it's just like what's wrong with you? Nothing's wrong with you, man, like you're in touch with your shit and it's okay to be that way. People will make you feel like you're not, though, and that's what I think is where you said like that taboo, like that tough guy, shit comes in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people are afraid to admit that. You know when they're struggling with stuff, you know they're going through some stuff mentally and you know afraid to show emotions, you know afraid to cry or whatever.
Speaker 1:Or afraid to just be legit pissed off. For you know, like off, vulnerable I think that's the biggest one is when you're out there, you're exposed man. It's definitely something I've been real big with my wife and she's been real great with me is like being able to be comfortable being out there because it's like it's okay to be who I am. You know, like I'm a, I go, I go. It's like a super passionate. I like to say, like my fire burns hot for everybody I care about. But like also in the other direction, if I don't care, I just, you know, don't care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know so. So one of the things I do at my job, so my full time job, is I do I do forensics in basically child pornography cases.
Speaker 1:Right, Superhero shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I go through and I find the worst of the worst on these guys computers and cell phones and stuff like that and I have to look at some really bad stuff. But another thing that I do because I was asked to do it so I gladly accepted is I'm what's called a peer support member, so I make myself available to the guys in my office, guys and girls in my office, and then I also will travel the country. If something happens within my agency, you know, like there's like an officer, there's like an officer involved shooting or somebody dies or whatever. And then another part of that is I'll organize mental health days for other offices. For example, a few months ago I went to Salt Lake City. I'm out of Reno, so my partner and I we drove to Salt Lake City and I took folks on a mental health hike, or just a two mile hike, and at the mile mark, you know, at the turnaround point, that's when I gave my briefing about what I do and what kind of services are available to people.
Speaker 2:But I don't just talk about, you know, your basic cookie cutter stuff. I put myself out there. You know I talk about my background, right. So I go out there and I say, hey, my name is Mike. A little bit background about myself. I'm a retired Special Forces engineer surgeon, also known as Green Beret, and some things that you folks may not know I've dealt with. You know substance abuse, divorce, oppression, survivor, guilt, you know stuff like that. And then I'd let them know that I'm willing to bet some of them have been through the same thing or very different things, very emotionally taxing things, and I let them know that it's okay because I'm there for them if they need to talk and get stuff off their chest and everything like that, and it's okay to show their their vulnerabilities and the things that really affected them in life.
Speaker 2:Right, you know, because a lot of times people don't want to talk about stuff, especially if you're like in law enforcement or something like that, or a military, because everybody thinks if I open up about myself, if I open up about my issues, I'm going to get kicked out, I'm going to lose my security clearance or I'm going to get my badge and gun taken away and yeah, yeah, yeah, and man, that's that happens. But it's extremely rare, like extremely rare, the fact that a matter is like these agencies and organizations and stuff like that. They just want their people to get better. Right, you could be. You could be the fittest dude in the world, the best shot in the world. But if you're, if your brains all messed up, then you're you're not fully mission capable. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So so these people, they the higher ups, they take this mental health stuff seriously nowadays, you know, and they want folks to go in and talk about their issues and stuff like that, and it's a good thing. So people know that they could turn to me to talk, to get stuff off their chests. If I find that by talking to me they actually need more help, I get them free help, you know, link them up with with counselors and therapists and stuff like that, so they can get that stuff off their chest and we could work through those issues so they can get right in the head and they can get back into the fight. So mental health is that's a huge deal for me, man. Yeah, it is huge.
Speaker 1:And I bet I'm just going to circle back to what you said, like when you gave your your briefing to the, to the guys on the on the walk, right, I bet, like a lot of them. When you said, like you know, a lot of them probably have gone through the same things. I mean even you said you know substance abuse check, divorce, check, let's see. You know survivor's guilt maybe not as much as you, but check I mean it's there.
Speaker 1:You think about that kind of shit in any situation. And then, like you know, something you notice about it is like that pain is, it's like a glue. You know, like you, almost by putting yourself out there, like that, you're like you know this is me showing you exactly who I am, what I've been through, and then, and not in a way to be like if I can do it, you can do it, but in a way to just be like yo, I've been there and I'm willing, you know, to show you what I've done to help get through these situations. Or you know, like you said, just link you up to the right people and probably not just like here's a card, we'll call this guy, but like no, I know this dude personally, yeah, and he's going to be the one to take care of you for this specific situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, exactly yeah, like we'll. We'll actually talk to the guys that we're going to link them up with. You know, we become friends and you know, like, like a handful of months ago, I deployed to Miami because something happened like an officer. He died so suddenly, so we had to go speak to the offices that he was affiliated with, spoke to his family and stuff like that. And then one of the main guys that we link folks up with, he deployed as well. So we got to spend some time together and everything like that, figure out his personality.
Speaker 2:You know, and we have multiple people because it's not one size fits all as far as mental health games concern. You know, some people, some people will step up and be brave enough to admit that they need some help and then they'll seek out some therapy and they won't really mesh with the therapist and because of that they won't go back, you know, because they're like, oh, this therapy stuff is stupid, I wasn't comfortable, it doesn't work. Yet he got to get it. Yeah, man, I'm willing to tell you you. Just, you need to try to different shoes on. You know, you got to get the right fit Because, yeah, it's almost like what we're talking about with this podcast.
Speaker 1:Like you, just, you just got to do it till it, till you find what works for you, because it's all man, every but it's different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I went through Like I tried the group therapy thing.
Speaker 1:Freakin hated it. Yeah, I'm on a huge fan. Yeah, I tried.
Speaker 2:I tried a couple of sports. Yeah, if it's a thing, man, that's cool, that's cool. You know, whatever works for you, you know. But whatever works for you might not work for me. So I tried the group therapy thing. It didn't work for me. I tried a couple of other therapists. Didn't like them and then eventually I found someone that I really liked, that I connected with and I could talk to and stuff like that. So just trial and error, don't give up If something doesn't work. Hey, it's like. It's like if you try some food and you don't like it, well, you don't stop eating food.
Speaker 1:Right, you're gonna have to fucking eat. You got to eat, you got to eat.
Speaker 2:You got to eat to survive. You know, and in this case some people, they have to get therapy in order to survive. You know to get rid of those demons and find ways to control those demons and stuff like that. So you know, if you don't like the taste, go to somebody else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there's. I mean it's shit. In this day and age you can scroll, I mean just hit like mental health, I mean shit. Just be around someone talking about their mental health and then scroll through tick tock. I guarantee you there's going to be 30 different ways in the first 10 minutes to engage in something different. If you're looking at the right tick tock, you know, yeah, it can be helpful if you say the right things to your phone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, but I mean like shit. It just like mine's like filled with like disc golf and hiking. And you know, like disc golf to me is huge because that was like the one thing when I was really kind of when I was living in Colorado before I met my wife and I was like just working all the time and I was just kind of really down because I started to like miss being home and starting to think about moving back and I started playing disc golf again and I started like getting connected with people and I think that was huge too, just like finding a group of people. That was that felt like you know, that was excited to see you every Thursday night because it was a glow and they're like what's up? Like oh, you're here, bro, let's smoke and throw some frisbees.
Speaker 1:And then next thing, you know, I'm like man, that's, that is like my go to Like. I just went and played with my wife and kid Sunday. You know it's just something we like to do. It's, it's and it's not for everybody, but it would also can be it's just get outside and get that fresh air in you man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you like it, man, you like the disc golf. It helps give you balance. Hell yeah, and that's another thing. That's another thing as far as mental health is concerned. You know, I see a lot of people, though they'll hate their job, they'll always complain about their job and stuff like that, and they'll go home and how they balance themselves out is they'll drink some beer or something on watch TV. You know, not really have any extra curricular activities that have nothing to do and are the complete opposite from what they do for work, you know. So I encourage people to find something completely different from your job or completely different from your stressor. You know, whatever you give, me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, find a, find a hobby man, it'll throw it on the floor or something. Yeah, because, like my hobbies, my hobbies are completely different from what I do for work, go hiking or acting and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:So, hell, yeah, yeah, I do want to talk a little bit, since you know I know we'll we'll always be to talk about the mental health stuff. But definitely I know people are probably a little interested or will be interested in more about your professional, your day job. I guess we'll talk about for a little bit. And if you want to explain what that is, the, the petto, petto hunter, the superhero shit.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I'm on what's called the Internet crimes against children task force. It's comprised of local law enforcement, some three letter agencies, stuff like that, and I'm with one of those three letter agencies and what we do is we find people who are downloading and uploading child pornography and then, once we get enough evidence on that person, then we get a search warrant, we go hit that person's house and my role in that is once, once the scene is safe, then I come in.
Speaker 1:So you're basically like showing you do like all the receipts that you got, like oh yeah, no you get it. There's no like I think I can get out of this and I know you're exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so. So it's funny because the guy with the most training with weapons and stuff like that and combat yeah, I'm the only guy I'm seen without a gun.
Speaker 1:Like walking in, like hey, man, point your shit that way.
Speaker 2:You know because how I got my job? I got recruited to this job through the hero core human exploitation, rescue operative core and actually if you're a wounded or disabled veteran and you're looking for a career change or a new career out of the military, look up the hero core. Hero core, because I believe they're recruiting in this December. So if you get that, then you do a 10 month internship and then you get brought on with a federal agency and it's not competitive. It's not competitive man. So if they like you after 10 months, then you just accept the job offer and then boom, there you go, you have a, you have a federal job in law enforcement.
Speaker 2:It'd be, dope, I have to click smoke and read it's, it's, it's an amazing thing, man. I've been doing it nine years but it's very taxing, you know. So we'll get back to what I was saying. So I'll go in there. Once the safe, once the scene is secure, I'll get the computers and the cell phones and stuff like that, and then I'll take them back to my lab and I'll go through them with a fine tooth comb and I'll find all the illegal pictures and videos and search history and chats and stuff like that Of the suspect.
Speaker 2:And then I'll put everything in a nice little package and everything I'm doing is a unbiased opinion, strictly professional. You know, I'm not trying to go in there and say like, oh, I don't like to look at this guy. Yet I got none of that, like I have no opinion on this stuff whatsoever. I am strictly getting the facts. What am I finding on this computer, what am I finding on his phone? And then I'll put it in a nice little package and make my report. And then one thing I do in my reports I find like the three or four worst pictures and three or four worst videos I could find and I'll write in graphic detail what I'm seeing. So when that stuff gets read in court people don't downplay it. People, actually people see it for what it is. So that's not was read to the jury.
Speaker 1:The jury's like wow, okay, yeah, like no brainer, slammed on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and that's gotta be like. That's gotta be fucking taxing on you, man.
Speaker 2:It is, man it is. And I was struggling for a long time because I went from door kick and action guy you know the 18 Charlie Special Forces engineer I'm hunting down Taliban and stuff kicking in doors to literally sitting at a computer all day watching babies getting raped. And that's freaking rough man.
Speaker 1:That is rough you know so.
Speaker 2:So at first I struggled a lot. I started taking antidepressants and all sort of stuff and my everything started changing Right. I started becoming very, very angry, and so that's when I knew I needed to kind of find some balance in life, something that was completely opposite, because I would come home from work and I will lock myself in my room for like an hour before I even talked to my kids. So I changed and eventually I was able to find balance and find hobbies and stuff like that. And then, once I found that, then I was able to kind of reevaluate my life and see where all the bad things led. You know, all the bad things that occurred in my life led to the good things and stuff like that. And so you know, I live a good life now. My mental health is pretty good. I still struggle sometimes when I have to look at that stuff, but after nine years of doing it, thankfully I recognize when it's time to step away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so I had over I need to take. You got to take a, take a day off, or like, take a, just like you know. Let me turn this down and maybe just write something for a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so actually. So five months ago I had a lift surgery and a spinal fusion.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, so they just they just did a whole bunch of stuff to me, right? So I was, I was out of work. I was out of work for seven weeks. Thankfully, over nine years I had saved up so much sick leave. I take all that sick time and I didn't realize just how bad this job affected me until I went back to work and I started working on that case again and I was like, wow, this freaking sucks.
Speaker 2:And so that's when I started to take mental health stuff even more serious than I already was. So I started asking around, asking the commander of the Internet Crime Against Children Task Force about what kind of mental health stuff they have and and basically, so how it is now, how it is now. So me and my partner, who I've been with for nine years, if we're ever struggling we can get mental health, but we don't even have to use my agency, like we can use those guys. Yeah, so we can go outside of my agency and straight up just go walk upstairs, like I can go walk upstairs to the mental health specialist who was army he was 82nd Airborne- that's always nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, comfort level with them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, yeah, so it's. You got that common ground there and everything like that. So it's super cool to talk to, really easy to talk, to understand some of the things that I've been through when I was in you know, so, yeah, so it's very important to me now, man, and I'm able to see when it's really affecting me and when I need to step away. Sometimes I'll go into work and I'll work for two hours and I'll be like, all right, that's it for the day, going on, yeah, and, and the thing is that's how it has to be Like I can't like this job, the job I do, it can't be a nine to five job, because if my job was a nine to five job, I'm telling you right now, bro, I probably would eat a boot a long time ago.
Speaker 1:It's. I mean, I mean it's a lot to even think about, man, I couldn't imagine, you know, having this role through that shit. And I mean we talked about it last time. I was like I man, it'd be a cool job. I'm not cool job, but like that'd be like a very satisfying job because you feel like you're really getting rid of a fucking, like a very fucking evil thing in the world and helping out and, like you said, like there's not a lot of people out there doing it. Yeah, I mean there is, but like the percentages aren't there Right, like it's a losing battle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a losing battle.
Speaker 1:Everyone you take there's probably a hundred more out there. Yeah, yeah, and I know that you said last time something about like you do, you do like you link up with schools and stuff and do like educations and trainings I do, yeah, so look out for as a kids or as parents and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so a couple of years ago again, this job was really starting away on me. So I was like you know what? I need to work myself out of a job, or attempt to work myself out of a job. I know that'll never happen, because this stuff is just gets worse and worse, right? So I was like, all right, let me, instead of doing a typical law enforcement thing where we're reacting to to an incident, let me make it so the incident doesn't even occur, right? So I started going to schools and going to people's houses as well, doing online presentations for folks who ever wanted it, and I would teach about, you know, advanced, advanced online safety, how to watch out for people grooming you and what can happen on the internet and what not to put out there stuff like that.
Speaker 1:So for those that don't know, I'll interrupt you for a second. Grooming I know you, you talked about it last time and it was just funny because I'm not funny, but I had listened to a podcast that was similar to this, the the arrow app, I think it's called. Those guys were on the dad edge, I think it's an app that basically, like, you can have on your phone that's across all your kids stuff and you, you basically protect them from all this shit. But grooming Talk like tell people what that is, you know that may not know what that is, or you know, and then, yeah, you and their kids so grooming doesn't necessarily have to be of a sexual nature.
Speaker 2:It could be, like, from a financial nature and you know stuff like that. So grooming I I say, say I'm one of those bad guys. Or I say I'm one of those monsters, one of those pedophiles, and I start talking to a 15 year old girl. Right, I, I learned everything about her. I start talking to her and I ask her what her favorite band is. Well, her favorite band becomes my favorite bands. She tells me her parents are getting divorced. And I say, well, my parents are getting divorced. So if you ever need any help, you know I'm there for you. Like that.
Speaker 2:Basically, it's getting in the mind of somebody Getting someone to trust you. All right, getting someone to trust you for malicious intent You'll have. You'll have these guys that don't want to send kids cell phones. You know, hey, I'm, I'm gonna send you this cell phone. So give me your ad this, I'm gonna send you the cell phone. Make sure you don't tell your parents because they won't understand our relationship. I love you. Don't, don't tell your parents. You have this cell phone, right.
Speaker 2:And these kids, they're like, oh, wow, man, this guy's gonna get me an iPhone 15. What's right, yes, hell, yes. And so they'll take it, no, accept it, right. And so now, well, now that that pedophile has the cell phone, you know, has their location and all sort of stuff, has the address, and they see, they'll just gain all this trust and do all these things for somebody Because they want something to return. You know, eventually they gain enough trust. Maybe they'll get some naked pictures or videos from that kid. Maybe they'll get some money From that adult.
Speaker 2:You know, I see that all the time too, people groom adults and stuff like that and get money from them. Yes, maybe maybe they'll groom them. So Eventually, you know, it could be like, hey, you know we've been talking for four months. You know I love you, you love me, like you're my soulmate, I think we should meet up a person. And so then they agree to go meet at a park and what, that fortune-teller girl doesn't know, there's a car full of guys right to snatch her up and silver in a sex slavery. You know it happens. So, yeah, so that's, that's one of the things that I teach the kids about. You know the grooming and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Watch out for signs, you know. I tell them like, listen, if you're a 14 year old girl and you're talking to a 25 year old man that is not your soulmate at the pedophile and you need to report him. No matter what you're going through in life you know your parents are getting divorced, you're not getting good grades in school, stuff like that you need to protect yourself. You know I get it. Sometimes people get vulnerable and they get sad and depressed in life and they're just kind of searching for someone to give them a specific type of attention, make them feel good about themselves. But you need to really recognize when people are sincere or people are trying to manipulate you. You know, and that doesn't. That doesn't just go for kids, is that goes for adults as well, because I have happens all the time, happens everybody.
Speaker 1:Right, randomly send somebody. You know send, like you said last time they send, send them a pic or something and then they're like oh hey, by the way, like, unless you want this blasted on the internet, you know do this or send me some money or whatever. It's just dude, people out there like. The fact that there's people out there willing to fucking make money off that shit makes me like Want to be the guys that go in before you with the gun. Make a fucking move, dude, go ahead. You know like, but yeah, it's because I'd rather see them guys go to prison though because you know they have.
Speaker 1:They have special places in hell and prison for those guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, People ask me, especially when they found out about my background like dude, how do you go in there and not just like kill these guys like well, because of the background, probably also the training and the you know you got to keep that bearing upon you and Exactly, yeah. Yeah, you have to have your bearing stuff and you have to be professional. Yeah, of course I hate what these guys are doing, but you got to be professional about it because you really want to fuck them up, you got to do it right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So like you take me, like I've had all this training and nine years of experience doing this, if I go into a guy's house Pedophile guys house, even a hands-on guy every now and then we'll get the hands-on offenders. You know, like we go to somebody's house because they're really. We go to somebody's house because they were uploading or downloading child pornography. Well, it turns out he's been molesting his four-year-old stepdaughter and he's got pictures of videos on his phone. You know what I'm saying. So, yeah, you definitely don't like that. But if I go in there and I kill that guy, well I just now I'm going to be in prison. Yeah, I lose my job. So now the cause has one less person to do this job.
Speaker 2:Right, so unless rockstar so even if, even if I was that type of guy to go out there and just kind of flip that switch and take somebody out like I don't want to do that because so much progress is going to get lost. So by me being by, by, by holding our composure and stuff like that and doing what's right, we can continue on with this fight. And there's been cases, there's been cases that I know of, where guys have gotten let off because an agent was a little bit too aggressive, like in an interview and stuff you know. So we have to be really, really careful, really careful, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:A lot of red tape, or A lot of red tape, a lot of red tape.
Speaker 1:Yeah, gotta gotta check all the boxes, as they say yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. America is not one of those potent countries where, like you know, you take them out behind a shed or something and, yeah right, you just give them a quick counseling session.
Speaker 1:Yeah, send them back on his way or don't you know, whatever, hey go dig your own.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so like, whenever you go, like, do you still do the things in the schools or do you still, like I do, like the whenever you like? Do you go to new schools and approach them with the thing and try to like say a, or do you normally just get referred? And how receptive is like that first conversation of, like you said, like we're trying to be proactive about it, because not everybody thinks that way and I think that might be a military thing, but it's also not very common in the military as well. First people would be proactive.
Speaker 2:About situations.
Speaker 1:But people as as a whole or in general, are very reactive. So like, how is I want to say, like how, how receptive are, you know, school officials and stuff like One, I guess, to having that conversation brought to them, and let alone, like you know, I mean, it's a, it's a sensitive subject, right? So like, do they want to expose the kids to that? Or like say, like I want to educate the kids about that, you know?
Speaker 2:what I mean. Well, you know, when I first started, I was going out there and I was approaching schools myself and I was getting shot down left and right. People were like, and that's okay, we're good, we're good. I was like, alright, man, cool, right. But then eventually Some people, some people reached out because I let everybody know what I do.
Speaker 2:It is no secret what I do. I talk about it all the time Because I want to be somebody's lifeline. You know, I want somebody to know that they have a guy that they can turn to when stuff goes wrong like that. So I always put it out there who I am and what I do. So eventually the right person called me about their school. I went in, I gave my presentations and then word spread like wildfire. So next thing, you know I'm not calling anybody, but I have all these people sending me emails or sending me text messages, calling me up hey, I'm the principal at this place, I'm the guidance counselor at this place. Can you come talk to my school? And so there was a few months where I got. I think in like a few months I probably gave like 15 or 16 presentations, you know.
Speaker 1:So that's all there in the thousands, area to thousands of people.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, so I'll drive, I'll drive up to maybe like an hour, hour and a half to go to schools, anything further than that. I could reach out to another office because we have offices and like in most major cities, so I'll reach out to somebody at the offices and stuff and have them go out there. Oh yeah, so I started going all over the place and then was here.
Speaker 2:I mean I don't know if they have it, have had any training or anything like that small towns but I mean it's yeah, I think and the thing is not a lot of people do it because and it's I, I don't want to, I don't want to fault them for it but a lot of agents, like a lot of special agents, they don't want to go do that stuff Because it doesn't count for their numbers yeah, it doesn't count for, like, their case numbers and their arrest numbers and stuff like that. So they don't want to take time away from that. Me, bro, I don't give a shit.
Speaker 1:Right, numbers mean nothing to me right, because when you're in the job itself, not the numbers you know exactly.
Speaker 2:It's like some people aren't it for strictly the money. You know some people aren't it for the cause. If I was chasing the money Now I do get paid very well, but if I was chasing the money I Would have, I would have taken some other job. You know some other route that a former green beret can go and make it.
Speaker 1:Real quick, dealt with the you know, the backlash of what you have to see and do it exactly yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but to me the cause will always outweigh the money and that's what I'm about, you know, and and I'm not. I'm not trying to blow smoke or be cheesy or anything like that, but that is that.
Speaker 1:That's who I am, brother like Dude, I think I had the same conversation that worked the other day. I mean, I started working at a bar, so I work at a bar and I'm a cook. You know, I'm done. It's basically just like I'm not just cooking bar food in my mind, like I'm trying, like I judge myself by every, every plate or every basket that goes out the window, even if it's a cheeseburger. You know like yeah, yeah, you know you can be there to make the money. Like I don't, I don't make any money. I'll tell you that right now, I make fucking. Like I got 10, 12 years experience. I know this place didn't have the money. I'm like sure, dude, I'll take 15 bucks an hour, plus tips as a cook, whatever. I'm only working, you know, 20 hours a week, but I mean it's just because I enjoy it, you know, and then I know it's different.
Speaker 1:It's not chasing pedals, but it's passion, it's passion, man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's what you're passionate about, man, and that's the big thing. That's a big thing. You know you got to do what you love and or do with the Do what's right for the cause. You know what you feel good about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I guess we'll just go since, since we brought up passion, do we'll just go right into the next Little segment here doing let's talk about the actor, director, the passionate side of things you do to Kind of ease that stress and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. So I started little about it last episode, but probably not a whole lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got into acting A little over three years about three and a half years ago or so, something like that my body was breaking down so I couldn't go on all these hikes anymore, causing me too much pain. So I was like, let me try acting because, while I do love, what I do has has a great purpose I've always felt like Talent has been wasted, like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was wasting talent, like I feel like I'm not trying to sound egotistical or anything, but I feel like I'm. I have some talents that I can't express sitting behind a computer. So I wanted to go out there and you know, see what I can do. So I got into acting. I started working on on stage you know some local plays and stuff like that and I freaking loved it. I loved it.
Speaker 2:But after my third play I realized it takes up a lot of time, man, because you got to go for I Was doing. It was basically taking up like four hours of my time three times a week To go do this acting on stage thing. So I was like, alright, let me, let me try this movies thing, let me try to work in movies. And then so I saw some open editions. I went, I nailed one of the additions and I got casted as a mercenary. So, go figure, right, doing what I did in real life. Yeah, let me go run and gun in this movie because I you know easy stuff and Me and the director of the movie it's called the flock Me and the director, dylan Brown of Hornet Productions.
Speaker 2:We just hit it off big time and and he liked working me so much because I was so different from the other folks that was that he was working with on set he asked me if I wanted to be part of a movie called title Joe. He had a little passion project that he wanted to do and asked me if I wanted to be part of Tyler Joe. So I jumped in with him on Tyler Joe and he asked me to co-direct and that movie, just it blew up on to me. Yeah, yeah, I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:I got I was watching it like dude. I really enjoyed it. Like I talked about with you was the. The dude that played the, the crazy redneck guy was Probably my favorite. Like you said that, he like really really no man. You're like dude. He did a good job oh.
Speaker 2:Man, yeah, Shane.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a good ending. Yeah, shane.
Speaker 2:Shane is. Shane is a great friend of mine, man, I love that. I love that dude, yeah. So so you spend.
Speaker 2:It's been a whirlwind since then, man, just one role after another, and but the thing is I'm having such a good time Doing my thing in Reno with Dylan that at one point I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go to Hollywood and fly out there and go to auditions and stuff like that. But, bro, I am having such a good time out here, like it makes me so happy, because when we're doing I make movies we have a blast on set, we just have an absolute blast. And Again, this is just something. This is, this is a hobby, man, this is a side quest. So if it all works out and we make a bunch of money from it, cool, bonus right. But if we don't, cool, I still let doing it, you know. And so because of that, we've worked with other people, other filmmakers and stuff like that, and talent agencies and everything, and we just, we just don't like it, bro, we don't like it.
Speaker 2:So when Dylan and I make movies together, you know who are we casting? We're casting friends, we're casting family and and that is that is absolutely one of the best parts of this whole acting journey for me is I have a lot of say in what goes on in certain movies and I also do my own movie. I started making my own stuff as well, and so I get to bring in people that I, that I love and appreciate, into these movies and I get to see their faces light up when they see themselves on screen and stuff they get them tell other people oh yeah, I'm in this movie and it has, you know, worldwide release and all sort of stuff and it's amazing. It's amazing, you know. I, uh, I.
Speaker 2:This past weekend I was in a film festival, the Carson Carson creepy short horror film competition. So, basically, we had two weeks to make a movie and they had to have three prompts. So there had to be a car horn, it had to be the line of dialogue. That line of dialogue was you're the only one who can do this and there had to be a thermometer and that's to ensure that somebody hadn't been working on this movie for like two years. And then they submit it, you know, for this two-way competition and it's like Michael Bay stuff or something you know.
Speaker 1:Um yeah, this me. I do this in two weeks. No, fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So Me and my girlfriend's youngest daughter her name is Willow her and I are really close, love that girl of death and you know she looks at me like like a father figure and everything like that. And so when I saw that this competition was gonna be a thing, I had an idea for a movie and I asked willow about it and she was like, yeah, cool. And so she was so excited to do it and so we filmed this movie called my willow and so I got to take her you know, she's in her very first movie and I got to take her to this, to the premiere, this film festival, and when we walked through the doors, the head people of the film festival they knew exactly who she was, you know made her feel like a just the absolute star.
Speaker 2:That's awesome and it was amazing. And so we got to see the movie being screened for the first time for everybody and the reactions the crowd gave were absolutely amazing. You know there was some laughter, there was some like oh wow, that's creepy. There was some like holy crap, that's scary. And At the end of the night, when they called, they said now the award for the best bad guy goes to Willow in my willow and so I got to walk that little girl down and bring her up on stage and she accepted her award and it was such an amazing moment, got me right in the feels, man.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you're like this is exactly why the fuck I do this. Yeah, yeah, and so that's so amazing.
Speaker 2:And so I made our little posters and you know we all autographed the posters. So she has her movie poster with her on it sitting in her room on a wall. And then I got an email last night from the president. He was like hey man, I'm sorry there was so much stuff going on. I didn't realize this, but my willow actually won Audience choice award. So after all the movies the audience got the got the choose they. They scanned the code and they got to pick which movie out of the 19 movies that got shown were their favorite 19 movies, dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they picked yours, that's yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how'd that make her feel Did you tell her yet so well.
Speaker 2:So her mom did right, because I found that at night last last night I wasn't over in mom's house, that was no warehouse. Well, I went and visited them today and as soon as I walked through the door she's like Mike, did you know that we won another award? Yes, I do, baby, we got. We got the audience choice. I was like, out of all those movies like they picked ours and then we listened to. There was a podcast today about the award ceremony or this, the film festival, and the only movie that got talked about was my willow dude, that's fucking bad yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so if you guys, if you guys want to watch, you can. You can look me up on YouTube. It's a Michael rock 10 79 on YouTube and I put my willow on there. Actually, I put a an extended cut, so I added a minute with these horror movies. They had to be between five to nine minutes, so the cut that I put on there is an extra. There's an extra minute of footage, so Sick I'll.
Speaker 1:I'll share it before I go to bed. I'll share it on our better-than-chat projects.
Speaker 2:Thanks man, thanks man, thanks yeah, and that was, and, bro. So so some of these movies, you know, people spent, you know, a week, two weeks making them, multiple days on set. Lots of money, lots of expensive equipment. Bro, I spent a hundred bucks. I took me a little girl, my girlfriend, my youngest son and my iPhone and we filmed for four hours. I spent maybe five hours editing everything together. Done your choice, passion, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cuz the way. I'm passionate and all the expensive shit and you know what? Like you would probably never have as much fun doing it in Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, I mean, like they would take all that passion enjoy right out of it. Yeah, cuz they would want to cast somebody as you're as as willow it would. You know what I mean? Like they wouldn't. They wouldn't. Let you just like I'm gonna make this. However, the fuck, I want to do it. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:And and that's how I like doing it, man, you know, we make it. However, that we want to do it, me and Dylan, we'll cast our friends and family, and he has an idea, I have ideas, we mesh together, and him and I, we think a lot of like. So a lot of times, like when we make movies, we'll be thinking generally the same idea. So we're about to start filming a movie called Tahoe Joe 2, which you, my friend, have a role in. Put it out there, bro. Put it out there.
Speaker 2:Big movie break man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, after this podcast, we're gonna, we're gonna film our scene fuck yeah, I'm excited for you, man. Yeah, yeah, and that's that's the thing, bro. That's the thing. You know. You cast friends and family, people that I generally like in life, that I want to see them on a screen. You know I, I see the look on their faces and, you know, gives them Sparks, sparks, new life into them.
Speaker 1:You know so yeah, you agree to be on it. I was like fuck yeah, dude, let's do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so I got. So I have you being on there. I have a this dude, smitty, from a Smitty's beard sauce. He's another veteran. He's out of the Fort Campbell Kentucky area. Yeah, bro, it's awesome. Great to the sauce is amazing. Yeah, so he's gonna be on there as well. So it's gonna be fun, man, it's gonna be fun. And this, the stuff we have planned for Tahoe Joe 2, it's, it's gonna be a wild ride. It's gonna be a wild ride, man.
Speaker 1:I am so freakin pumped for this because how you don't want you need some of the fly On that last day, just to help you on the hot.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not getting my total. If I got to go to Reno and I'm gonna be in a movie, I'm gonna pay for it. We're going. Yeah, I don't care you go, as long as the baby.
Speaker 2:We're having a baby Christmas Eve, so yeah a short bus pulls up with all these veterans getting out with the guns, going out big foot right. Let's do it, are you guys?
Speaker 1:Like no, not really, but yeah, we're gonna get his ass because yeah.
Speaker 2:Or whatever's not there. Yeah, so we are. We're so pumped, man, we're so pumped. My cousin, he's the Air Force vet, he's coming out. Actually he was in a Tahoe Joe one. He was the guy that that got killed in the tent. Okay, the select, the guy that you're going after yeah, yeah, the guy that we were trying to go find yeah. That's, that's actually my real-life cousin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I figured he was at least someone close to I. Figured it was just someone you'd served with or something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, he lives in DC, so he flew out here for that. And Was that his son too? No, no, that was actually my, my son's best friend and the throat thing was the throat thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the throat thing is legit. Yeah, he had vocal choralysis and so he said he wanted to be in the movie. And I was like, yeah, okay, cool. I was like, hey, man, how do you feel about actually using your vocal choralysis like in the movie, like as Right right on the plot point? And he was all for it and I was like cool because and that was a big thing right there how many people have you seen in movies with actual legit vocal choralysis to have you know thing in her throat and stuff like that? Right, you don't you have. So that was big for me to just representation and stuff like that, getting folks that normally wouldn't have Movie roles putting them in a movie. You know why not man, why not this?
Speaker 2:stuff's really fun like this is all fun for me. If if it's not fun, if it's a movie maker you know a filmmaker that doesn't like to have a good time and stuff like that I don't want to work with him. If it's somebody who's like way too freakin serious on set and brings drama, I don't want to work with him. But if you're cool, like, I don't care how good of an actor you are.
Speaker 1:If you're a douchebag, I'm not gonna put you in one of my movies, right? Just don't want to hang out with you. I don't want to hang out, yeah.
Speaker 2:I want to cast people that I actually want to hang out with, you know, and that's that's how we roll. You know, dylan and I we decided to do that, and we've been loving it ever since. We found we found a formula that works I'm moving that we made together. It's called ghosts. That's on to be as well. If you search ghosts, michael Rock, you'll find it on to be. Dylan submitted that to a film festival, and Ghosts got nominated for 13 awards and ended up winning six, and and there was like I think there was something like 20 films involved in this film festival Ghost one best film, best cinematography, best director Think, best editing. It won Best supporting actor. Vernon Wells won best supporting actor. Vernon Wells. If anybody doesn't know him, he was the main bad guy in commando fighting Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Then he also fought Mel Gibson and Mad Max too, so he plays my dad in the movie and so, yeah, so he won best supporting actor, and then I won best actor in the feature film.
Speaker 1:So okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's like all right cool, not too shabby for some For some old dude that just wants to do this as a hobby and have fun right.
Speaker 1:No, I'm like in my head. I'm like. The only class I really enjoyed in high school was drama. Yeah, I Still didn't do the homework, but I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Now I definitely consider myself a shitty actor, but I Go out there and have fun, yeah, and I think I mean that's a big thing, man, authenticity to it, you know, and it's like like we were talking about me trying to do with this here.
Speaker 1:It's just when, when you're bringing Yourself and everything you got and everything you have to offer to something, people pick up on that shit, man, and they really Either want to be a part of it or they want to support it in any way they can, and either that or they want to be a hater. You know, but yeah, yeah, that's fine too, you know, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, you get some haters, man for sure.
Speaker 2:Get some haters, some haters around here. Absolutely because you're like dude, what the hell like Fucking making movies? Yeah, these guys are like freaking, like their movies are like blowing up all over the place and how come I don't get casted in roles? And what the hell's going on? How come you're not going through a talent agency is like why? Because we don't want to, because we do what we want.
Speaker 1:You don't want actors in your movies, you want people. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was a big thing. So One of the movies that we were on together, the movie was called the Hedgehog. We were on together the movie that Dylan first met me. On the flock there was a bunch of folks from like talent agencies and stuff like that and Dylan saw it right away. They were not like me. They were not like me. A lot of people would always, no matter what time you told them, no matter what time you told them, oh, I'm gonna be late. They were always late or they didn't want to get dirty, or they were too cold, they were too hot.
Speaker 2:You know, it's like dude, come on, man, right you know for example, to film the opening scene of ghosts, I Put everybody in my car. Everyone that was gonna go there that day I put everybody in my car Drove through a snowstorm on the highway. We had to drive 20 miles an hour in the highway because of a snowstorm. We parked and, because it's me, I had to blaze the trail to where we were going. Well, it was about three and a half feet of snow so I had to walk. I had to walk through three and a half feet of snow and this was a week and a half after an emergency appendectomy, so I just had my appendix ripped out of me. I still have freaking wounds that need to heal.
Speaker 2:I'm like I Was in rough shape but I'm like, right, the damn scene needs to get made. So this is our location. You know we have to do this to make that. You know did that sacrifice and and that's crazy and the people that, and the people, the people that we picked to be in that scene, they were totally gung-ho, totally go and and, and I knew they would be and I knew they would be. You know these people they weren't with like towel agencies and stuff like that. They were friends of mine. Hey, come on, let's go. You know, one of them was was my youngest son, you know. So he almost got frostbite out there, but but then, but then when you see the opening scene, people are like, wow, that was freaking cool, worth it. Oh, it's worth it, it's worth it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, shit man. I think, like I said, we try to keep me to. We went over my limit when I was kidding this was this, this fucking dope. To have you back on, dude, I'm definitely gonna want to talk to you more and more. I mean, like I said, I'm gonna just try to get, as I'm all about the quantity or the quality these days of these shows and I I just want good quality content. I think having you on every once in a while, even just to talk about that, just preaching awareness, for you know that internet bullshit, man, and the human trafficking, the kid trafficking, all that shit, dude, I think it's just to keep the awareness out there would be enough. Plus, I mean, your cool stuff to talk to you.
Speaker 1:I'm sure we're. You know, like I said, we're gonna, we're gonna sign off here and record a movie. We're going to Hollywood after this folks, that's right. So all their brother, I said I knew he was watching the whole time, he Loved it. My man, I appreciate you. I'm good to see you again. We're gonna have to get you here soon to talk to James, definitely checking on you. But for those who will listen, for those who will watch, thank you so much for those who have watched and are watching, thank you and good night. Got anything for him?
Speaker 2:Find your balance in life. Keep on going.
Speaker 1:The world is better with you in it fuck yeah, and that is a good way to end it.
