In part 2 of this travel series, Jenny shares practical tips for planning where to go and where to stay.
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Need help applying this to your life? Ready for more strategies like this, but personalized to YOU? Set up your free consult and let’s talk about your unique situation and how coaching can help:
https://getcoached.jennyhobbsmd.com/consult
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Everything on this podcast and website is for informational purposes only and should not be used as medical advice. Views are our own, and do not necessarily represent those of our past or present employers or colleagues.
In part 2 of this travel series, Jenny shares practical tips for planning where to go and where to stay.
_________
Need help applying this to your life? Ready for more strategies like this, but personalized to YOU? Set up your free consult and let’s talk about your unique situation and how coaching can help:
https://getcoached.jennyhobbsmd.com/consult
_________
Everything on this podcast and website is for informational purposes only and should not be used as medical advice. Views are our own, and do not necessarily represent those of our past or present employers or colleagues.
Welcome to Rethink your Rules with Jenny Hobbs MD. A fresh perspective on relationships, success and happiness for high achieving moms.
Speaker 2:Hey, there it's, jenny. Welcome back to another episode of Rethink your Rules. Today, I'm going to be picking up right where I left off last week, talking about traveling with your family and traveling with kids. This is particularly focused on those of us who have struggled to enjoy family vacations and trips, perhaps because we or our kids, or both, are neurodiverse. I did spend quite a bit of time last week talking about mindset, strategies and tips to help with traveling, and I would say it's equally important to what I'm talking about this week. I can listen to that piece, but I wanted to sit down here and just list off a bunch of practical strategies and tips that have been useful at making travel a bit more fun and less stressful for me and my family, and also for a number of my clients and friends that I've talked to who have dealt with similar struggles. I'm going to just launch right into this, because travel is one of my favorite topics I can talk about all the time. I also love just talking about planning and logistics and, as you have noticed from this podcast, I talk a lot as it is. I don't want this to go on forever, but I'm just going to give you as many things as I can think of right now. So you have this to reference as you're planning your family trips for this spring and summer.
Speaker 2:When we think about the logistics of traveling with family, the name of the game is really about identifying your priorities and constraining yourself down to the biggest issues and your biggest concerns. For how you and your family are right now. At different times, different issues are going to be more or less important, depending on the types of neurodiversity you have in your family, the ages of your kids, your work situation, your partner's work situation, what type of family help you have, and that's completely fine. The first thing you want to do is just realize. Often our disappointment with travel is because we have these expectations of how it should be or what would be perfect, or what we would like the most or what we used to do. If we can force ourselves to really identify the most important things and let some of the other things go for now, recognizing that it may not be forever, we can improve our enjoyment a lot just by strategizing to address those most pressing concerns. The place to start with this is to think about what are the biggest issues that prevent all of us from relaxing and enjoying our travels. I really need the biggest issues, like you need to be able to constrain and prioritize down to just a couple of things. You can't work on everything at once, even though we're perfectionist, high-tech and working moms, right. I don't want it all to be a certain way, but really try to pick the most important thing To get you brainstorming.
Speaker 2:Here are the five categories that I find these issues usually fall into. Number one food. Number two sleep. Number three managing energy levels. What I mean by that is some people need to be doing a lot more activities to have a good time. Some people need more time to relax and chill. So this can often be very different in families. It'd be hard for each person to get what they need. The fourth thing is balancing the family together time and kid fun with adult alone time and adult fun. The fifth thing is the extra work involved in travel the planning and packing and the laundry and all of those things which can sometimes fall on one partner and can make it really hard to enjoy the trip because there's so much effort involved. So those five areas food, sleep, managing different energy levels, balancing adult versus kid time and the extra workload of travel so hopefully, you have a couple of ideas in mind that are your biggest areas of focus.
Speaker 2:I want you to keep those in mind so that, as you listen to this list of ideas I'm going to share with you, you can pick and choose a couple of things that will address those biggest concerns, that are realistic and reasonable for you and your family and your budget and your ages of your kids and everything. There's going to be a lot of ideas here that may or may not apply to you right now, and that's okay. I don't want you to feel overwhelmed or frustrated or like there's some sort of goal to do all these things. It's more like just a list to get you thinking of all the creative ways that you can make things better on trips, for where you and your family are at right now and knowing that you can always come back and try different things at different stages. It's progress, not perfection, okay.
Speaker 2:So thinking at first about the pre-planning phases of this trip and where you want to go particularly if you have younger kids or food issues with restricted palates or food allergies or sleep issues are still really prominent you may want to just really rethink where you're going on trips at all. So perhaps it's just a time to postpone any trips where you're going internationally or you're going to have to fly a long distance, places where you require multiple flight changes or multiple time zone changes. Those may just be deal breakers for you and your family right now, and if that's the case, I'm going to give you some ideas to still have a great time and not be too sad that you can't go to those places with your family. And also remember you could try going without them and you could go with your partner and leave them with family to watch them for a few days. Or you can simply recognize that this isn't going to be a phase that lasts forever and you can postpone those trips with your family to a time when they're easier for everyone to enjoy. However, you also may be able to get a lot of what you like about one of those places in a way that's easier for your family.
Speaker 2:For example, one of my biggest priorities when it comes to traveling is being able to have nice warm weather and sitting on a beach by the water with gorgeous view, and I have discovered that there are many places where I can find that type of mental health benefit without having to deal with the mental health detriment of my family being all out of sorts and frustrating and all this extra effort trying to keep everyone happy and sleeping and eating. So here's some examples. We found that for us, going to Hawaii is a lot less stressful than going to, say, the Caribbean or Mexico. The flights are direct from Seattle. The time change in that direction works okay for our family and there's a lot of familiar things there, like grocery stores and things like that, that allow me to keep my kids eating things that they're used to eating. I've also found some really nice spots in Arizona, california, even Florida, which is still a lot easier for us to get to than, say, the Caribbean or Europe or something, and all of those places. I prefer to look for direct flights and I will pay extra for a direct flight at a time that works for my family, so we're not all stressing about getting the airport on time and everybody's cranky and starting off the trip on the wrong foot. So I will pay extra for some of those things because I know for my family people are not going to be regulated if we don't do that and it's going to ruin the experience. So it's worth it to me to pay more.
Speaker 2:We also discovered during the pandemic that there's even a really nice lake in the central part of our state. It's a three and a half hour drive away. That gives me a lot of the same joy that I get when I go to a nice, warm, sunny, tropical environment. The climate there in the central part of our state is quite different than in Seattle, so it's nice, hot, dry weather. The lake is gorgeous, the views are great. I sit next to the lake. I can hear the lake Lakeway is literally crashing on the beach where there's a little sandy beach. So absolutely not the same as Hawaii or the Caribbean. However, it's not bad at giving me that feeling that I like of being in those places, and it has a lot of advantages for us because we can drive there in three and a half hours and that is less expensive but also just so much easier with our kids and being flexible with timing and all of those things.
Speaker 2:And for all these places Hawaii, california, arizona, the lake in the central part of our state, florida, all of those places it's very easy for me to plan for my kids' food, and so that's what I want to talk about now is when you decide where you want to go, you also want to think about where you want to stay in that location, and I strongly recommend preferentially searching around for places that have a separate kitchen ideally a full kitchen, but at least a mini kitchen with a decent size fridge, a sink, a microwave and this will make your life so much better and you can find these things. But sometimes you have to get a little creative depending where you're going. So look for those places. Obviously, if you do like an Airbnb, rental or a VRBO, that can be easy to find. But even some hotels have rooms like that or you can call and ask them if they can add some of those things to your room. And I have been pretty fortunate. Most everywhere we stay, I'm able to usually find a resort where there's a nice mini apartment or condo and it also has a lot of the amenities being in a nice hotel, which I like, like being able to sit by a pool and have someone bring me drinks and food. So often you can find both of those things. You may have to search around and ask other parents and it may cost a little bit more money, but again, I would rather spend the money on that so I can enjoy my time and maybe save on other areas of spending. So look for a place that has that separate kitchen. Try renting a condo or an Airbnb. Talking to hotels, looking at specifically for family friendly hotels that have that Then what you can do, especially if you're going somewhere that's in the United States or the same country where you live you can actually plan ahead to pick up groceries so you can stop at Costco.
Speaker 2:Hawaii almost I think all the islands pretty much have a Costco, so you stop by, pick up some things, take them to the place. You can also plan to pick up groceries, order ahead and pick them up or have them delivered. You can talk to your hotel or your host at your Airbnb about what options are best for groceries locally. Sometimes they'll even charge you a little extra and go and pick up the groceries for you. If it's an Airbnb, you can really consider how to make this easy and smooth for yourself.
Speaker 2:If you're driving, like when we go to this lake, that's a few hours away you can even make it more simple because you can often bring a lot of the food that you have at your home kitchen and your home fridge with you and just transport it to the new place, so cuts down on waste and complexity and having to buy big containers of things that you guys use all the time or worrying about if we don't eat it on this trip, what are we going to do with it? So that's one of the huge advantages for us of going places that we drive, so it can be worth the effort to trial and error and find places where you can get that different climate or different setting. But if you like to ski, look for places where you can just drive, take the whole show on the road and not have to worry about the flight issue, which adds a degree of complexity. Another thing to think about as you're deciding where you're going to stay when you get to this new location is the sleeping arrangement. So, particularly if you have little kids, I know when our kids were young this was one of our main priorities was we had to have a separate sleeping area for the kids or no one was going to get any rest and Kevin and I could not enjoy any time alone, even just to have a glass of wine at the end of the night, because our kids were right in the same room and they were climbing in our bed and not falling asleep and all this stuff.
Speaker 2:So we at that phase of life really highly prioritized paying for the extra space, whether it was a suite or at least a place with like a balcony where we could go out at the end of the night and have a glass of wine while they were sleeping. And sometimes it was expensive, I will admit, but it was worth it. Okay, remember, first of all, divorce is expensive, your marriage is important, your mental health is important and this phase does not last forever. So while it may feel sometimes expensive to splurge on that extra space, it may actually be a good investment for you and your family, because you need to be able to rest and relax and get back to work and be a human and it's like a one time expense.
Speaker 2:Most likely you won't have to do that forever. For example, when this was going on with my kids for several years, I literally thought it would always be that way, I thought it would never end, and it snuck up on me this last trip. We booked a cruise. We were all in the same room. There was like a tiny curtain between us. I never once worried about sleep or anything my kids conked out. There was no problem, and at the end I thought, wow, we're out of that phase now and I thought it would last forever, but it doesn't feel like it actually lasted that long. So just remember again, think about your list of priorities, and if sleep and food are your priorities, you may need to spend some extra money to make that happen, but it won't be forever and I truly believe that this is important. Your needs are important too. Your space is important too.
Speaker 2:Ok, so the other things that you can think about in terms of where you're going to stay is does it make sense to be at a place that is an all-inclusive, where it's easy for different people that go out and do different activities If you have someone who's more energetic or less energetic and where it's easy for the kids? Like my son loves buffet restaurants and he loves being able to just get his own food and stuff like that. So does it make sense to be at a place where that's an option? A cruise for us was a pretty good option. The cruise ship that we were on had free soft serve ice cream and a drink station and movies playing on a big screen, which is all next to the pool and the waterslides. So my son could hang out and do his own things. He likes to just sit and have his treats and relax while my daughter was doing waterslides and swimming and all the things. So we were all in the same space. We knew where everyone was, but there were multiple options for everyone to do what they felt like doing.
Speaker 2:So consider those options. They might be right for your family. If you have these kids who are neurodiverse, with different energy levels and who have a lot of need for autonomy, those can be really great for them. Also, a kids club may be a good solution for you and your family, particularly if you want to be able to go out to dinners as adults without the kids, or if you have a kid that's really energetic and you know you're going to want to be able to relax and rest and read your book and you don't have to be in the pool the entire time. So consider again that may cost more money, but for your family that may be the priority. Now I will say for us that's not usually been the main thing that we spent our money on when they were littler. We would rather have had a separate apartment, condo space and most of the places we found that had kids clubs and lots of those all-inclusive type activities only had regular rooms without the separate kitchen and things, and so when our kids were little, that was more the priority. So think about what makes sense for you and it's also some trial and error to see what works for you and your family, and one of the areas where I think trial and error is a good idea is the whole realm of Disney.
Speaker 2:So Disney is not for everyone. Definitely has its pros and cons, can be very crowded, very expensive. I can name all the downsides. Some people are very opposed to it. I completely understand that. This is not a plug for Disney. However, I will say that in my experience with neurodiverse kids, disney has actually worked out a lot better than I would have expected and I think it even surprises my son sometimes how much he ends up having a good time on these trips when he looks back at them because he thinks he doesn't like Disney. But I think they just do a really good job of being able to accommodate kids.
Speaker 2:So, for example, if you have kids with picky diets or allergies, they are prepared and ready for that. If you have allergies, I'm pretty sure you can call ahead any time, plan ahead and let Disney know on any of your reservations about the allergies, and they have a lot of allergy-friendly menus available you can review online. But in my kids' case there's not an allergy, there's just my son likes one or two meals and that's it, and so he can pretty much always at any Disney restaurant be like I would like a cheese pizza and a Coke or whatever, and they can get it for him even if it's not technically on the menu or technically on their kids' menu. And they of course have tons of other options which my daughter also likes. And there are so many other fun treats and distractions and things that even if my son's not super excited about the food, there's enough to keep him busy, so that's not really distracting us from the meal.
Speaker 2:When we've traveled other places in regular life it is a problem, because when Kevin and I are at our nice restaurant in Hawaii or whatever, their kids' menu may be great, but it's not going to have a cheese pizza all the time and not every restaurant can just whip that up for him. And I will say that Disney Cruise was the first time we have tried using a kids' club for our kids and it was excellent, excellent experience. They were very well prepared and able to handle the kids. They were able to do things to make it easier for Kevin and I to enjoy our dinners while the kids were there really thoughtful and accommodating, and at Disney World, when we went there, they have a lot of systems in place where you can call ahead and get some accommodations for your kids if they do have special needs, like mine do, to make things a lot easier, and so definitely something to consider. Again, not a plug specifically for Disney in any way other than that's been our experience, and I have talked to other people with special needs kids who've had similar stories as well.
Speaker 2:A couple other things to consider with the logistics of where you're going to stay is where's the pool? What does it look like? How deep is it? How many activities are there to do that are maybe in shallow water or spray park areas or water slides? When you have little or kids, if you're like me, you maybe don't want to have to be in a big, deep swimming pool with your kids all day trying to help them swim when they can't touch the bottom right, but your kids are going to want to be in the water, so maybe you're not going to want to have to drive to somewhere like a beach or a pool to do that. And when my kids were little, they didn't really like the beach, they didn't like the sand in their feet and it felt really overwhelming. They really liked small, shallow pools and splash parks and stuff.
Speaker 2:Well, I have been able to preferentially look around and find hotels or resorts that have pools that accommodate younger kids better. I sometimes call or look online and that allows me to be able to have the time I want to sit and watch them and be available to them without having to actually be in the water with them the entire time and they get to use their energy up. Also, look at where the pool is in relation to the rooms. Look at getting a room on the ground floor. Perhaps We've been able to find places. Where we're on the ground floor there's a sliding door that goes out to a grassy little area or a playground or even like can lead pretty closely to a pool. Usually there's a fence around the pool or up to a beachy area and what that allows for us to do is if one person wants to be outside playing and another person wants to be inside, or kids are changing their mind about wanting snacks, wanting food, wanting to be outside, or the kids are just like really rowdy and you're trying to make dinner.
Speaker 2:You have a lot of flexibility where you can see your kids and they're playing outside versus inside. They're not running around on the top floor stomping, making noises for all the other guests there and you're not also having to do that thing where you're going out the back door by the parking area or the elevators and then looping around to go to the pool with your kid and then your other kid wants to go back and then you're having to constantly be juggling food and kids needs. We have again getting back to the idea of, like adult versus kid time and energy levels and all the extra work involved. For us, this allows everybody to be able to have a little freedom and flexibility without mom, dad, having to run around the whole time chasing everyone down. So these are all things to think about. Again, not a lot of people want to do the ground floor because they have different needs. Maybe they want the open balcony up above and that's great, but think about for your family if that might make things easier, especially in this season of life.
Speaker 2:The next thing I want you to think about as you're planning your trip is who is going to go. This is funny because we often don't even think about it, but this is part of why we rethink our rules, right? So some of us have this unwritten rule that the whole family just goes on all the trips and does all the things together. Does that have to be the case for you and your family? Is that right? Maybe for some trips, not everyone needs to go. Maybe for some trips, it's actually going to be more fun to split up and have two people do one thing and two people do another thing. Maybe that could even be kind of cool. Or perhaps one of your kids really doesn't like traveling and they're at a certain age where you're like you know. Maybe they'll stay home, or maybe they'll stay with their grandparents and the rest of us will go. Maybe that's a reasonable option.
Speaker 2:This is not something we have done yet, but we are thinking about doing, because we do have two kids who have very different energy levels and interest levels when it comes to travel, and one of them can be quite vocal about not enjoying the trips, and we have actually brought up this idea and discussed it with this kid and so far, in the end, it's always been their choice to come with us. But that may change and we're open to considering that. Especially if you do have older kids who kind of know more what they want and have tried it and really know they don't like it, you may just have to sort of be okay with letting go of that wish that you had for all of you to be able to take these fun trips together. And I have talked to other parents with neurodiverse kids you know, often ones who are now grown and they've said yeah, that was what we ended up doing, we ended up taking a lot of trips without that kid. Or other people have told me, yeah, for the first several years of life, like it just wasn't a choice to take our family on trips together and we just didn't even. We just put that aside. So be open to considering that. I know it's not always what we want to hear, but you know, maybe just process the grief and disappointment around that and then move forward so that everyone can have their needs met.
Speaker 2:The other piece you want to think about is who could maybe come along with you on the trip for some extra help. So a third adult can be a game changer, especially if you have young kids or special needs kids. Think creatively about who could help you out with this. Grandparents can be a great choice, of course. They love to spend time with their grandkids. Typically, and often older adults actually kind of like to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. That's how their systems work, which is also how kids work, so that can actually be really nice. They can maybe help out a couple more days to let you sleep in. Maybe they can be at the house for a couple hours while you go out to dinner and have a little date night.
Speaker 2:Other family members can also be great. We have taken our niece, who's in her early 20s, and she enjoys the opportunity to get out and go somewhere new and help out with our kids a little bit, and we cover a large portion, if not all, of her trip. But even if you don't have someone like that, maybe you have a friend of the family, or ask your colleagues if they have any kids who are home from the summer that might want to do that for you. Another thing to consider is if you could coordinate a trip with another family that also has kids. This is a really good solution. If you have one of those families where people have really different interests and activity levels and maybe your two kids don't always want to do the same things at the same time or they really don't get along, this can take some of the pressure off. So we've done this and it allowed my one kid that wants to be playing and doing lots of activities to get all of that with this other family's children while we hung out and relaxed and talked to the parents, and it freed us up from having to entertain that kid while the other kid was kind of sulking in the corner and they were both fighting. So something to think about if you can make that work. Again, that may require some trial and error, but don't be afraid to give it a try and try with different families and ask your kids, maybe, for ideas.
Speaker 2:So the last piece of planning that I want you to think about is how you're going to pace yourselves. When I talk about pacing, I'm talking about both the schedule that you have overall for travel, so how frequently you go, how long your trips are, how far apart they are, how much time you've allowed to prepare and recover before and after, but also thinking about the pacing on the trip itself how long you're spending a niche location, how many times you're moving around, how many activities you have that you want to do in a given amount of time. How many of those activities are scheduled ahead, planned at a certain time, not negotiable. How much downtime, white space, relaxing time is made available to everyone. This is something that I think we often don't consciously think about or discuss and I think that leads to a ton of problems. Actually, because it is very unique to families, it's very unique to individuals and often we're sort of just on autopilot, doing what we've always liked to do or what our families did or what some other person told us they did on a trip, and we aren't really critically thinking about whether that works for us and our families and we often aren't actually looking to listen to our kids or our partner about what works for them. I will say, if you have neurodiversity in your family, this is going to be a really big part of how you are going to keep everyone happy or when it comes to travel.
Speaker 2:So I want to mention a few general concepts to think about. Number one. Kids in general, neurodiverse or not, are going to need more time to do everything. We know this from a regular life with them just getting out the door to school. More time between things, more time to adjust, more time to regulate, more time for unexpected dysregulation, because they're mostly mature, frustrated, their shoes don't fit whatever. That's just general with kids Always have to add in more white space and more flexibility than you would if it was just adults or just yourself. In addition, kids again, neurodiverse or not, are always doing their best when they know what to expect. Things are predictable. It's a comfortable, familiar environment. They have a bit of a routine that helps them a lot. I learned this actually from a pediatrician and coach friend of mine and she said this is part of why traveling with kids is always harder than you think it's going to be, because we don't realize that travel is stressful for them, much more stressful than it is for us, because all of their routines and familiar environments are out the window.
Speaker 2:Then if you add in a component of neurodiversity such as ADHD or autism, it becomes even more difficult, partly because neurodiverse individuals tend to really have a hard time regulating their emotions. Their emotions are bigger, more dramatic more difficult to overcome. Their skills in that are often lacking or lagging behind peers of a similar age who are neurotypical. So that can be a big factor to include when you're thinking about the timing of these trips that are inherently going to create some emotional reactions and stress. But also when you're neurodiverse. Your nervous system is just wired very differently than the average person and the world out there is designed for the neurotypical person. So as you're out there in the world on a trip, there are a lot of little things all day long that just aren't set up to accommodate the way that your brain works. If you have ADHD or autism or something like that, and so all that stress really adds up over time and if you aren't thinking about it, you may not be aware of how much of an effect that's having on your kid or you. If you have neurodiversity as well, the other thing to keep in mind is that ADHD and autism have different characteristics in general as well. Of course, these are very broad generalizations, not necessarily specific to every person, but I think the framework is helpful.
Speaker 2:So if someone has autism, they are going to generally be Even more in need of specific exact times, like down to the minute. They like to know what's happening, they like everything to be very predictable and orderly and they can be like extremely unsafe and stressed out when anything unexpected happens. If things are off by a minute here and there, that can just throw them off okay. Their systems are also really heightened and responsive and reactive to any sensory input. So bright lights, surprising or loud sounds, unusual foods, strong tastes, struck cold weather, wet weather, sand, the sensory experience of sand being too hot, having the sun in their eyes, all these things are much more taxing on their system or can be much more taxing. And if you don't have an autistic nervous system, like I don't, you have to kind of be aware of that and noticing it, because you won't notice how much stress it's adding to their day, because it's not something that you're even aware of, right, but they are noticing and experiencing all those very intensely. So, again, being open-minded about that, if your kid is acting more stressed out and sort of advocating for a slower pace or going home or not wanting to go outside, getting curious about whether one of those things might be coming into play.
Speaker 2:Now, for those of us with the ADHD, it might be a slightly different issue. We might be kind of okay with a little bit more spontaneity and new exciting things or changes in plans. We might be okay sort of pivoting when unexpected things come up. We might even think that's kind of fun and exciting and a positive memory for us, because we love that little dopamine rush that comes with that. We also may be really unrealistic. So we might have these plans that we're gonna fit in all these things. We may have FOMO where we think, okay, all this stuff's gonna be amazing to do. I don't wanna miss a thing, I'm just gonna make it all happen. We have a lot of energy at times and so we can expect that we're just gonna have the energy to do all those things.
Speaker 2:But we may not be super self-aware, so we may not realize that we might be burned out or exhausted by that point. But we can't kind of put our heads in that space of how we're gonna feel in that moment. We also may have a hard time being realistic about scheduling right, so how far apart things need to be, how much time it's gonna take to get from point A to point B. So we might end up booking things too close together, being late to things, and I know, at least for me, when I'm in the planning phase, everything sounds so good and so exciting and so fun that it's really difficult for me to prioritize that list of things and constrain myself and remember I can do some of those things later. I just wanna do it all right now, and that's an executive function that is really lacking in ADHD.
Speaker 2:So with all that in mind, you just wanna think about, with my unique family, where could we adjust the pacing to make things go more smoothly? Maybe we need to look at how we schedule our days on vacation so there's more time in between activities or fewer activities in a day. Maybe we need to look at how many days we have activities planned versus just unscheduled time to relax. And maybe we need to look at how often we're traveling and for how long to make sure that it's working for everyone. So some specific ideas to get you started thinking about this in general.
Speaker 2:You're probably just gonna need to cut down on what you would normally wanna plan Like. Your instinct is gonna be to schedule more than would really be ideal for your kids. That's just generally knowing that type of people listen to this podcast. That's probably the direction you wanna go. Think of that quote by I think it's Coco Chanel for accessorizing like put on all your accessories and then, before you leave the house, take off one, something like that. Also, consider adding even more downtime, white space, unscheduled time than you think that you're gonna want or need Can. Always it's easier to add things in later than it is to have it over scheduled and then be pulling things off and being disappointed that you're gonna miss out on them. Also, I recommend pre-paying and pre-scheduling as little as possible.
Speaker 2:Now, obviously, many times you need to schedule things, otherwise you're not gonna get to do them, and that's gonna be important to have a scheduled dinner time or whatever a certain event that books out early. So definitely do it where you need to, but just be on the lookout for places where you don't really need to do that and you can decide at a later time based on how everyone's feeling. As an example, sometimes you go to a city and there's a lot of really fun attractions and you get some sort of like combo discount pass. Well, be sure that you're not taking that discount up front because it sounds like such a good deal, but then you're gonna feel obligated to be going to four or five places in the city and your kids and partner are gonna be exhausted and whiny and you're dragging them there. So you can get your money's worth, it might actually be better to just wait and pay as you go for the things you actually wanna do on the given day. Even if the overall cost is a little bit more, that might actually be worth it for the peace of mind of not having to drag people places they don't wanna go or feel annoyed that you lost your money or whatever. So again, this is just an example of consciously rethinking your rules. It's not always better to take a discount or to try to maximize the amount of things that you do on a trip if it's going to result in exhaustion, frustration, other problems down the line. Okay, so that wraps up the pre-planning and scheduling phase of traveling with kids and traveling with neurodiversity. I hope that those ideas get you thinking creatively about ways you can make your next trip even more fun for everyone.
Speaker 2:I did my best not to focus too much on specific recommendations for locations or brands or things like that. I really don't want the focus to be on promoting any particular business or group or location, necessarily, but of course, if you have a really specific detail you're curious about, you can definitely email me and I'll let you know. But the other way that I would recommend getting specific ideas for where to travel with your kids would be in social media groups like on Facebook. Often you can even find a group that is specific to the type of special need that your kid has and or specific to the location you wanna go. So going to Disney with kids that have food allergies, I suspect there's probably a specific group for that or just traveling with kids with food allergies, or traveling with kids with special needs or things like that. So look for those. Or you can even just look for any local parent group. So I know in Seattle each neighborhood has a group for parents.
Speaker 2:When you're in one of those groups you can ask people for ideas, the trips that have worked for them and their family. Or if you're kinda too shy to do that, you can just use the search function and search for previous conversations, and usually you'll find a ton of ideas and input. Many of the ideas and suggestions and places I've mentioned here I first heard about in a Facebook group just like that, and I'm so grateful for those suggestions. So try that out. Or you can try the old fashioned way and talk to people in real life in person.
Speaker 2:Talk to your kids, friends, parents, people that pick up and drop off at school, things like that People love to talk about travel, and so many working moms tell me that they feel like it's hard to connect with people now that they have kids and they're so busy. So this can be a really great conversation starter and way to start getting to socialize a bit more with people, and it will give you some really great tips. So give that a try, and I will be back next week with part three of traveling with kids and neurodiversity, and we are going to be talking about the preparations in the weeks leading up to your actual trip. So, fast forwarding a bit, I have a bunch more tips for that and, honestly, there may even be a part four, because that is how much I have to say about traveling.
Speaker 2:So I hope you love it as much as I do, and I will see you right back here next week. Have a good one.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to Rethink your Rules with Jenny Hobbs MD. Thank you.