PsychEd4Peds: child mental health podcast for pediatric clinicians

40. Social Media and Adolescent Mental Health

• Elise Fallucco, Sarah Goode • Season 2 • Episode 40

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Between 80-90% of US teens report that they use social media, but we are only beginning to understand how social media use affects mental health.  I had the opportunity to talk about this with WAVYTV10 News Anchor, Sarah Goode. In this episode, I share clips from our conversation about how to help kids navigate social media, share tips for talking with teens about their social media use, and share resources to help families develop a plan for healthy use of social media.

For more information and to listen to an extended version of this interview, check out the NBC Affiliate, WAVYTV10 at the link below:

https://www.wavy.com/10-on-your-side/kids-on-social-media-what-to-know-about-their-mental-health/

Check out our website PsychEd4Peds.com for more resources.
Follow us on Instagram @psyched4peds

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Welcome back to psyched for Peds, the child mental health podcast for pediatric clinicians. And for all of you helping take care of kids, we're helping you help kids. A really hot topic in the field of child mental health right now is social media. And particularly, what do we know about the connection between social media and mental health? I had the opportunity last week to talk about social media and mental health. With wavy TV v 10, which is an NBC affiliate. TV station in Virginia. And I had a wonderful conversation with the wavy 10 news anchor, Sarah goode. And I wanted to share excerpts from this conversation with our listeners at psyched, for paeds. We talk about what we currently know about the association between social media. and mental health in kids We talk about tips for helping kids navigate social media. And finally we share helpful resources that parents can use with their children to develop a family media use plan. For as long as social media has been around, kids and teenagers have been struggling to deal with it, and parents too, because as parents, we're trying to figure out how do we support our kids. when I think back to when I grew up and before social media times the only access you had to media was really broadcast media, so things like this, like TV programs, and then occasionally print media like magazines, you had limited access to images of supermodels, images of celebrities, images of your friends, and it wasn't bombarding you around the clock and it was a lot easier to keep space and time.

Sarah Goode:

And I know that's something where, we look back at kids even just 10 years ago and you know the way they do their makeup or the way they wear clothes and things that's even changed with social media as you get more into the trends and wrapped up in what's happening. I know that there are so many things that we can talk about with this. I think the first thing is, what are the first tips that you give parents or Children navigating this world.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

I want to be careful not to paint it as all bad. Absolutely. There's so many potential benefits of platforms like YouTube and social media for sharing positive information, for sharing education. Even like the makeup tutorials you were talking about. It's so much easier to access information in a way that's easily digestible. And that's a great thing. Social media can also be a way for kids who have trouble socially connecting with other kids to be able to find people with shared and common interests. It can be really positive for a lot of people in that sense. And then, I think we always have to be aware of potential risks. what we consume, the food we put in our bodies and also our media diet, everything that we're seeing and taking in affects our growth and affects our body and affects the way we think. we need to be more thoughtful about learning more about what are our kids doing? What are they spending their time learning? And where is this information coming from? It's important to ask kids, first of all, what platforms are they using? What social media, are they on TikTok? Are they on Instagram? Are they on Snapchat? What sort of things are they doing? How much time are they spending on it every day? And anytime you ask that, I think every, all of us tend to underestimate and aren't aware of how much time we spend. And so it can be helpful to have various. various programs on your phone or on your tablet that kind of keep track of your screen time so you can realize wow I'm spending two or three hours or even more on social media. So what are you doing? How much time are you spending? And then the final question is How do you feel when you're done or how do you feel while you're doing this? Is it a positive experience where you're laughing at cat videos and feeling like you're learning things or connecting with friends or are you having a little bit of FOMO? Do you feel like Wow, I'm seeing these images of my friends all doing fun things without me. I'm, I feel inadequate because I'm seeing these pictures of, these celebrities or influencers who don't look like me and make me feel uncomfortable about my body or about my choices or about whatever I'm doing. I that ability to self reflect and to pay attention to take your own pulse and pay attention to how you feel after you use social media is really important and can help kids motivate themselves to make different choices.

Sarah Goode:

And at that point, that critical thinking skill, when does that really develop in kids? Is that sort of case by case, or is there an area of time around maybe puberty where they start developing that? Because that's really hard to be able to take a pause of what you're seeing and evaluate.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

It really will depend on the child. And so for teenagers, they should be able to stop and say, how does this make me feel? And, again, some of this has to do with emotional intelligence and some people are really in touch with their emotions and are able to say, okay, This is what I feel and maybe this is why I feel that, but that requires a level of sophistication that sometimes we don't see until late adolescence. So older teens and even people in their 20s. So for our younger kids, it's important to get parents involved to be able to help them navigate that and to be able to reflect and say, wow, I see you look pretty angry, but you just slammed your water bottle down on the counter. Like that tells me that maybe you're not feeling well inside. I wonder if that has anything to do with what you were just doing, playing the video game or watching, scrolling on social media.

Sarah Goode:

And making those connections for them so they might understand why they're having that feeling whether, honestly, whether it's good or bad and be able to register the difference.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Yeah, and, and this is all part of also just in general helping people helping kids grow in emotional intelligence and recognize feelings. So as you put it, Sarah, if they're feeling really great, like you notice them laughing and say, Oh my gosh, you're laughing. It looks like, something must be funny. What is that? Why don't you share it? And we can talk about it. Or, Oh, it's a, I don't know. It's some silly video that somebody posted, but I think it's funny and it makes me happy. That's great. It seems like this channel or whatever you're doing. Looking at is a really positive thing for you and that, just feeding that back and reflecting that back to the kids can be helpful.

Sarah Goode:

How important is that for parents to be involved and understand what their kid is using those apps? I don't know if that's their own digital literacy, understanding the technology or just helping them with their emotions.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

I think it's really important for as parents of kids of any age and teenagers to be very much aware of how much time they're spending on social media and if possible which particular sites that they're using. And there, there are all sorts of programs that you can get and even things you can pay for to try to limit your child's access to certain sites. But what I, as a universal recommendation Two things that I like to tell parents. One is, whatever smartphone you have has a way of monitoring screen time and creating a family with you and your child so that you can Easily see any day of the week how many hours are they spending on their phones? and it'll even break it down and say how much of this time is on what they call productivity like are they You know, I don't know doing something for school work or is and how much of this time is social media And so you can really quickly Monitor that and potentially set limits. The second thing that I recommend for families is to check out the American Academy of Pediatrics has a family media use plan. That's a little bit of a contract, but it starts a conversation between parents and children about how much time they're going to be spending on their devices, which types of sites are okay and safe and what is safe and behavior and then what's not. And then even making particular rules about are we going to have access to screens at meals and things like that. And so for parents who may feel uncomfortable talking to teens about social media or don't even know where to start, just having this structured guide as almost like an outline for having a conversation with your teen can be really helpful.

Sarah Goode:

Absolutely. And, I want to talk about, social media right now. It's not just to highlight real, but that's one way on some of the apps that it feels, as if I'll say Instagram, for example, photos you post right now, people are posting videos of where they got into college, very relevant for those teens graduating soon. Navigating that, and I'm sure this applies to a lot of other issues, within, excuse me, within mental health, but. How do you give your kid, that confidence, maybe internally from these external factors? I guess that's the same case with friendships and friend groups at school and things like that. But how important is developing that internal, sense of self?

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

There's such a tendency for all of us to engage in comparison and whether we're seeing our friends wearing their new college sweatshirts, or we're seeing the highlight reels of our peers looking amazing on their spring break vacations. It's our natural tendency is to say like, why, what am I, what's wrong with me, or why do I not have that, or what's different about me. And Knowing that's just a normal part of being human is, it's important to share with our kids and then being able to have the type of relationship with your kid or your teen where you can have open communication and be able to talk about, what are you thinking right now? And when you see, I noticed that when you saw that photo or, when your friend got into this one place, how did that make you feel? And to allow them to have an open space where they can honestly communicate yeah, I'm bummed I Like I wanted to go there or that and you know As a parent, one of the things that we work on in our sessions with families is to really just allow kids to vent to some extent and to be, instead of trying to fix their problems, listen to them and sometimes even validate, yeah, that stinks, like I saw the, I know, in some ways I know what you're, experiencing. Like I saw those pictures of my friends on sailboats in the Caribbean last week and thought, Oh my gosh, I'm at work. Like they look like they're having more fun than I am. And it's normal to compare yourself and to feel that way. And then also to recenter on, we're on our own journey right now and we have different goals and different priorities. And right now your priorities or whatever they are. And, you're doing a great job with that. And just, Yeah, to be able to just end it in that way and recognize like everybody's in a different place and they're like sometimes literally in a different place doing different things and that's okay and where you are is great and let's just focus on what are your goals, what are your priorities, and how you can get there.

Sarah Goode:

I guess, it's teaching the kids to your point earlier, the skills to be able to get through all these videos or the information and actually be able to digest the good parts out of it because the algorithms can give you some crazy content when you're looking on all of these apps, whether it's Twitter or Tik TOK or Instagram. Being able to navigate all of that with a good head on your shoulders.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Yeah. And, from my own experience, I think what's really helpful and can be empowering for our teens and kids is the practice of unfollowing and, not reflexively liking. And so we know from the algorithms that what you spend your time looking at and what you heart and that's the type of content that you're going to get fed more of. And so if you're seeing things where you're like, I don't like that, or that's awful. empower kids to scroll past that and, definitely not to like it. And, or if there are accounts that keep popping up for them and they're thinking, I don't like this at all, making sure that they unfollow or if needed block certain accounts. And so giving them the sense of autonomy to be able to make choices about what are you putting into your mind? What is your diet?

Sarah Goode:

And developing that autonomy, I'm sure, especially as a teen, is so important as, if kids are going off to college or developing on their own, they need that foundation. You're not always going to be able to, potentially look over, again, your kid's shoulders or help them navigate that.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Yeah, and starting early by helping them navigate that, setting limits on screen time and ideal usage of media, and then being able to gradually give them more autonomy, step back as is appropriate, and, as they get older, knowing that the ultimate goal is we're raising adults here. And so we want them to be able to be empowered to make their own choices and to make, ideally make good choices, as many of them as they can and then to know what to do, if they don't make a good choice to recognize, to try to course correct.

Sarah Goode:

And I do want to recognize one thing and somebody put a comment in the chat, just about not allowing their kids to use social media and that's something I've heard forever. I'm not saying that there's a right or wrong answer, have you heard, benefits to potentially, waiting until kids are later to have these interactions?

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Yes. I think it's tricky. If we're talking specifically about social media, I think delaying access to social media until your kid is mature makes complete sense. And, every kid is a little bit different. I, we've got one of our kids is a teenager at home and I'm trying to delay his access to social media forever, basically, if at all possible. And we've had a lot of conversations about this. And so what's really interesting is that some of our larger studies looking at the association between social media and anxiety and depression have really talked about in teenagers, there's. There's the social media is a double edged sword. And so basically kids who are, let's say they're mid teens, in ninth or 10th or 11th grade in high school, and they're not at all on social media. And if we're connected in any way that there is the potential that they will feel a little left out or excluded if every other person on their whole grade is, using a particular app. But what we also know is the more time you're spending on these apps is you spend an hour or two or more a day. Spending time on social media increases your risk or is associated with an increased risk of anxiety, of depression. If you're a girl, you're particularly sensitive to these effects and it can cause distorted body image and lower self esteem. And so as parents, you're walking this tightrope and trying to figure out like, where do I go with this? And, obviously trying to delay or limit use of social media until your child is mature, makes complete sense. And at the point where you feel like it's a good time for them to start to use trying to monitor as much as possible. Again, thinking back to our ultimate goal is our child is graduating high school and is becoming an adult. And at that point, they need to learn how to use this. And they may not have us looking over their shoulders while they're on their phone. And so you do want to have some exposure in some time where the child, your child, or your teenager is using social media. Before they leave where you're able to monitor it. Does that make sense? Yes.

Sarah Goode:

Yeah. No, I completely understand it's finding that balance and I guess Everyone knows their individual child, I, some people do just ultimately have a different sense of self and, different levels of critical thinking and they might not have, the fear of missing out the same way. And then, other kids are different. It probably also depends on, again, what you said, your friend group, are they all on social media? How are they communicating with each other? So I think that's really interesting and obviously a very dynamic process, for parents to sift through all of that.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Yeah, definitely. And, I completely agree with recommendations to certainly wait until they're teenagers. I think, it's the data we have is wild. Something like 80 to 90 percent of U. S. teens report that they're on social media, and one out of three of them say that they're on social media constantly. and even though social media is supposed to be not available for children under 13, our surveys will say that kids 8 to 12 years old, about 40 percent of them are already on social media apps. And so It is, as parents, this is so hard because you want to teach your kids literacy and, social media literacy, rather, and how to navigate these challenging situations. And also, you don't want them exposed to all of this at a young age.

Sarah Goode:

Yeah, it's a lot to get through. And then you bringing up, of course, the body image part that we briefly mentioned the beginning, that could be a whole, conversation obviously on its own and impacts of that. And I know that we don't have too much time to delve into that today, but I think, what a huge impression that could leave, especially on those kids going off on their own and trying to figure out who they are and how to dress and navigate themselves, but you're also seeing these people, whether fake or not, right? And sort of their image that they have online.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Yeah, exactly. All the, like the airbrushed images,

Sarah Goode:

all the editing and filters, right? And you don't always know exactly what the person online has done. I think, there's some transparency on some apps, but that is not across the board, of course.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Yeah, exactly. And the more we talk about this, the more it makes me think if kids are spending hours and hours looking at these images and thinking about these things on social media, like that's the message that they're hearing in their ears and they're seeing in their eyes. We as parents and as trusted adults, we need to be talking to them even more than we already are because we've got to counter this social force that they're up against. So that we can say, Hey, I don't know if but a lot of those. Let's say teenage girls that you're looking at, like they're airbrushed images or they have somebody professional who does their hair and they pay however much money to do that, like this is not necessarily a realistic image of what your day to day life is going to be and the, the bodybuilders that I don't know how much of that is real and how much of that is fake. These are important conversations to be able to have with your kids.

Sarah Goode:

So it seems that not just to simplify it, it's definitely a little bit more dynamic than this, but it really boils down to having those conversations being open about it and talking about their feelings, which I know is not easy for every teenager to discuss, their feelings with their parents, but certainly the effort, to try and maybe debunk some of the fake things and also lift up maybe the more positive item.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

Yeah. And just the one last tip about having the conversations. One of my colleagues has this great recommendation. She about talking to teenagers and she says, if if you have a car and you're driving your child somewhere, which I feel like we are always doing from various activities. That is a great time to have a conversation because it's less threatening for the kid. You're not staring at them making intense eye contact. You're just like listening to music. They're a little distracted. And if, that can be a really good time to just be like, Hey, I just want to check in. How's this thing going? Or, I'm just curious tell me, ask questions in a non judgmental way I'm just curious what, which social media sites are you on? I was listening to this talk today, and I just didn't know. Tell me what you like about it, and is there anything you don't like about it? And, that's a nice way to open the conversation with them.

Sarah Goode:

Absolutely. Dr. Fallucco, thank you so much for speaking with me today, giving all these very helpful tips.

Dr. Elise Fallucco:

And just to recap for our listeners. We talked about the potential risks and benefits of social media use for kids and teens. We provided a framework for talking to kids about social media, asking them which apps they use, keeping track of their screen time through programs on your phone or through third-party sources. And most importantly, for communicating with kids about how they feel. When they spend time on social media. We'll include a link to the American academy of pediatrics family media use plan on our website. Psyched the number four paeds.com. As usual, please feel free to send me a chat on our websites or message me on Instagram at psyched for paeds. I'm curious, what do you think about social media use and how do you. Talk to. The teens in your practice about this. Thanks again for listening. We'll see you next time.