SHARING OUT LOUD
A story of "moderation hell" -- you don't have to be a "full blown alcoholic" to have a problem -- with Anne Nicely, AKA, the_bright_eyed_sober_girl
Meet Anne, business owner, mom, wife, daughter, and a "moderate" drinker, or so she thought. Thank you Anne for giving me the space to share your story. I am in awe of you and everything you are doing to promote that life can be beautiful when we don't lean on alcohol as a crutch or as an escape.
From Anne:
Shame dies when we share… secrets keep us sick.
.
I know on a personal level how true these statements are.
.
I stayed stuck for a long time. I lived in moderation hell that made my mental health suffer. I was riddled with guilt and shame for days after consuming too much alcohol when I planned on only have 2. 😑
.
Who actually wants 2… I mean… what is the actual point. 🤦🏻♀️
.
I wanted to escape and feel the dopamine rush of alcohol entering my blood and flowing into my brain.
.
Things slowed down and I could “feel” happy, confident, and calm.
.
If you are here reading this… my guess is… YOU wanted that to. 🥺
.
Sadly, it never measured up to what I hoped.
.
Once the alcohol wore off… I would be left with crippling anxiety, shame, guilt and the physical hangover.
.
I was nauseous, inflammation filled and popping Tylenol to cut the throbbing headaches.
.
This pain was awful but the holes I felt on the inside were worse.
.
I hated that I was on this hamster wheel. I hated that I was using this stupid liquid to escape uncomfortable emotions or social events I didn’t even want to attend. 🤦🏻♀️
.
I hated that I used it to elevate a date night with my Husband or when I felt like I needed connection to go deeper with friends.
.
I hated that I reached for alcohol.
.
I felt like such a failure. I was angry that I couldn’t just lay it down. I HATED that I hated it and still wanted it.. it made me feel crazy.🤯💔
.
I hated that I drank a poison I swore and declared as a child I WOULD NEVER do.
.
I hated that alcohol robbed my childhood and here I was.. doing the exact same thing my father did. 💔
.
I hated knowing I was capable of more because that meant I needed to change.
.
Change is so scary. I feel you.
.
But last night I shared my story again and 545 days later…
.
I wouldn’t change anything.
.
I want to use my story to help other women who feel the same.
.
Maybe we didn’t have the same childhood or relationship with alcohol but I can promise we all felt the same after drinking.
Please go follow Anne on Instagram @the_bright_eyed_sober_girl. Her DM's are always open if you would like to talk.
If you need professional help below are some additional resources:
www.shewalkscanada.com - FREE weekly meetings (not AA) with trained professionals. Women-only.
www.aa.com - AA has helped MILLIONS of people. Don't let the stories or stigma scare you. Take a chance and call the local AA chapter in your area.
https://www.soberincentralpark.com/. Rachel is a trained sober coach (her story is also an episode here!) and might be able to help you. Please reach out.
https://www.thrivealcoholfree.com: Dupe is also a trained sober coach but more for the moderate drinker who is sober curious. She is amazing so please reach out for more information.
Meet Anne, business owner, mom, wife, daughter, and a "moderate" drinker, or so she thought. Thank you Anne for giving me the space to share your story. I am in awe of you and everything you are doing to promote that life can be beautiful when we don't lean on alcohol as a crutch or as an escape.
From Anne:
Shame dies when we share… secrets keep us sick.
.
I know on a personal level how true these statements are.
.
I stayed stuck for a long time. I lived in moderation hell that made my mental health suffer. I was riddled with guilt and shame for days after consuming too much alcohol when I planned on only have 2. 😑
.
Who actually wants 2… I mean… what is the actual point. 🤦🏻♀️
.
I wanted to escape and feel the dopamine rush of alcohol entering my blood and flowing into my brain.
.
Things slowed down and I could “feel” happy, confident, and calm.
.
If you are here reading this… my guess is… YOU wanted that to. 🥺
.
Sadly, it never measured up to what I hoped.
.
Once the alcohol wore off… I would be left with crippling anxiety, shame, guilt and the physical hangover.
.
I was nauseous, inflammation filled and popping Tylenol to cut the throbbing headaches.
.
This pain was awful but the holes I felt on the inside were worse.
.
I hated that I was on this hamster wheel. I hated that I was using this stupid liquid to escape uncomfortable emotions or social events I didn’t even want to attend. 🤦🏻♀️
.
I hated that I used it to elevate a date night with my Husband or when I felt like I needed connection to go deeper with friends.
.
I hated that I reached for alcohol.
.
I felt like such a failure. I was angry that I couldn’t just lay it down. I HATED that I hated it and still wanted it.. it made me feel crazy.🤯💔
.
I hated that I drank a poison I swore and declared as a child I WOULD NEVER do.
.
I hated that alcohol robbed my childhood and here I was.. doing the exact same thing my father did. 💔
.
I hated knowing I was capable of more because that meant I needed to change.
.
Change is so scary. I feel you.
.
But last night I shared my story again and 545 days later…
.
I wouldn’t change anything.
.
I want to use my story to help other women who feel the same.
.
Maybe we didn’t have the same childhood or relationship with alcohol but I can promise we all felt the same after drinking.
Please go follow Anne on Instagram @the_bright_eyed_sober_girl. Her DM's are always open if you would like to talk.
If you need professional help below are some additional resources:
www.shewalkscanada.com - FREE weekly meetings (not AA) with trained professionals. Women-only.
www.aa.com - AA has helped MILLIONS of people. Don't let the stories or stigma scare you. Take a chance and call the local AA chapter in your area.
https://www.soberincentralpark.com/. Rachel is a trained sober coach (her story is also an episode here!) and might be able to help you. Please reach out.
https://www.thrivealcoholfree.com: Dupe is also a trained sober coach but more for the moderate drinker who is sober curious. She is amazing so please reach out for more information.