Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 104: National Coming Out Day feat. Sarah's Sister
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Hey what's up hello! Today we celebrate National Coming Out Day by talking with Sarah's gay sister. Sarah and her sister compare their coming out experiences and talk about the differences between their sexualities.
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[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla
EMILY: And Sarah's homosexual sister who keeps hijacking the podcast.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, coming out
ALL: Sounds Fake But Okay.
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: M’ichigan.
SARAH: True!
KAYLA: Guess where I am, bitches.
SARAH: In my sister's apartment sitting on the floor.
KAYLA: In Michigan.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Reunited and it feels so good.
SARAH: Feels like chicken.
KAYLA: Anyway, I'm in Michigan for the weekend.
SARAH: Stop checking your phone.
KAYLA: My cat sitter… my cat sitter… it came up on my watch, my cat sitter just sent me pictures of her with my cat and it was very cute.
SARAH: Well, yeah, Billie is not hijacking this episode.
KAYLA: Yeah, well she just did, technically.
SARAH: God damn it. That bitch. Okay. Alright, so we're together, which means if any weird sounds happen, we can't cut them out.
KAYLA: It sucks
EMILY: I live very near to a hospital.
SARAH: Yep.
EMILY: There are many noises. So.
KAYLA: Maybe you'll hear them actually this time.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: When we reference them. Choo choo.
SARAH: Alright. Emily, my sister, is here on the pod with us again today.
KAYLA: For like the 100th time perhaps.
SARAH: For the 1000th time. And I'll ask you, Emily, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: You certainly can't ask me. I don't know at all.
EMILY: Well, y'all bitches are starving for content. Also…
KAYLA: What is happening?
SARAH: You cannot come into my podcast and expose me this way.
EMILY: Also, it's October and you know what that means.
SARAH: Spoopy.
EMILY: It's National Coming Out Day on October 11th.
SARAH: Which will have been two days ago when this episode comes out.
KAYLA: So, it's fun and it's still relevant.
EMILY: Still relevant. It is a great time. It's exciting.
SARAH: Yes.
EMILY: That's it.
KAYLA: Isn't October LGBTQIA+ history month also?
EMILY: Yes.
KAYLA: And Asexual Awareness Week is?
SARAH: Later this month.
KAYLA: Later this month. Ooh, should we announce?
SARAH: Sure.
KAYLA: Before we get into it?
SARAH: Announce.
KAYLA: So, Sarah and I will be doing a talk?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: A presentation?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: At the University of Michigan Spectrum Center on?
SARAH: The 20 Monday. The 21st.
KAYLA: This is bad.
SARAH: Monday the 21st.
KAYLA: At 6 PM.
SARAH: 6 PM.
KAYLA: Um, we have the details tweeted. But Sarah will be there in person. I will be there via a computer because I came home this weekend and not that time.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: And we're going to talk about the show and creating, well, asexual. yeah, Um, so if you're a student or just in the area, come hang out.
SARAH: Hit us up. We're going to be at North Quad.
KAYLA: We will be in North Quad, which is me and Sarah's home, really.
SARAH: Truly. Noice.
KAYLA: That's all.
SARAH: That's the tea.
EMILY: I didn't know you were doing that. That's exciting.
SARAH: Now you know.
KAYLA: Now you know. You can come.
EMILY: I will.
SARAH: Alright. So, and do you have any, uh, show notes at the beginning?
EMILY: Okay, so here's my thing. Is that I was thinking in light of this very festive month that there are lots of coming out stories floating around the internet of, you know, gay stuff, and I was like, but there's not as many of other sexualities in the realm of the LGBTQIA+ acronym.
KAYLA: She's doing a lot of arm motions right now, circulating.
SARAH: Yeah.
EMILY: So, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about coming out and also me and Sarah are sisters.
SARAH: What?
EMILY: We are related.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: On my Christian podcast?
KAYLA: Yeah.
EMILY: But our coming out experiences were very different.
SARAH: Yeah.
EMILY: And we also each watched each other's from afar.
KAYLA: And I'm here.
EMILY: And Kayla is here.
KAYLA: I'm here to listen and yeah.
SARAH: Nice.
KAYLA: I'm one of you today.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: I'm listening
SARAH: Alright. So, my sister was got really excited about this. Sent me a bunch of questions to ask each other.
KAYLA: Should I ask them?
SARAH: Yeah, you should ask them.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: Give you something to do in this episode.
KAYLA: I will commentate.
EMILY: Should we like bop back and forth or should we like do all one person?
SARAH: Let's bop back and forth.
EMILY: Okay.
SARAH: We can compare that way.
EMILY: Okay.
KAYLA: Should I ask you and then we can go back and forth like who answers first and I will be the moderator?
SARAH: Sure.
KAYLA: Of this panel of two.
EMILY: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Okay. Let's start with Emily. Emily.
EMILY: Yes.
KAYLA: For $500.
EMILY: Yes.
KAYLA: When was the…
SARAH: We don't have any money to give you.
EMILY: I could use $500.
KAYLA: So could we. For one, nothing. I have nothing to give you. When was the first time you thought you might be a gay?
EMILY: Probably when I was 14.
KAYLA: I thought you were going to say four and I was like that's early.
EMILY: No, no. Probably then because I was doing research in all of these, you know, these girls' life magazines. Also, the American Girl magazines where you could submit questions.
KAYLA: We love an American Girl.
EMILY: And some of them were like, I have a crush on a boy. What happens? And I was searching for a question that was like, when will I have a crush on a boy?
SARAH: Mood.
KAYLA: That's both of you.
EMILY: So, spoiler alert. Never.
SARAH: Which Jonas brother was your favorite?
EMILY: Nick.
SARAH: I mean, that's as close as she ever got, folks.
KAYLA: I mean, that's fair.
EMILY: Yeah, I guess that was maybe the first time where I was like, oh, something is awry. But probably not put a label to it until I was maybe 16.
KAYLA: When you looked back, so obviously you kind of noticed it at 14, but when you looked back before 14, after knowing that you were gay, were you like, oh, yeah, I was super gay.
EMILY: Mm-hmm, yeah
KAYLA: Why? What'd you do? What happened?
EMILY: Well, when I was a little kid, I could never picture myself getting married. Like, I was just like, I'm never going to get married. I'm just going to be a career woman.
SARAH: A business lady?
EMILY: Yes. And I'm going to live my life.
SARAH: That checks out.
EMILY: Also, there were people where I was like, wow, I want to be them. I am obsessed with them in a way of female empowerment. Not entirely correct. There were some, you know, I guess you could call it puppy love. But I love all puppies, so that's a confusing phrase. But yeah, when I was younger.
KAYLA: Sarah?
SARAH: The question was?
KAYLA: It sounds like a spelling bee.
SARAH: Um, summary.
KAYLA: People keep texting me. When was the first time you thought you might be asexual/aromantic? I don't know which one you want to go for here.
SARAH: Actually, I know we kind of walked through my entire story on this podcast a long time ago. At one point I was like, hmm, maybe I'm demi and I was probably 14 or 15.
KAYLA: Really? I didn't know that.
SARAH: And then I was like, no that's stupid. And then I pushed it out of my brain and then I did not think about it again until I was in college. I was… I don't know exactly when I started being like, hmm, maybe I'm not a straight fella. But, I mean, I guess because I had kind of learned about asexuality a little bit just because I was a person of the internet and a person of Tumblr. And I, like, so it wasn't like as soon as I learned what it was, I was like, oh that's me. It was more of like doing more research about it and I was like, hmm. So, I was solidly 18 by the time I was like, huh, I think I might be this.
KAYLA: For both aro and Ace?
SARAH: Yeah, they kind of go together in my brain. They kind of came together even though not quite but a little bit. But also, what you were saying about you being like, you thought that you were just admiring women for their women empowerment. I had that same thing where I was like, my brain was like, I have a crush on the 2003 Peter Pan.
EMILY: Yeah, she was a woman. 2003, not the stage performance. Oh, sorry.
SARAH: He was played by… Oh what's his name? We've talked about him so many times.
KAYLA: We've definitely talked about him extensively. Should we do a whole episode on him?
SARAH: What would we say?
KAYLA: Everything.
SARAH: But I was like, oh I have a crush on him, but I think really I just kind of wanted to be him.
KAYLA: That's fair. He was very beautiful.
SARAH: So beautiful. And he got to fly.
KAYLA: He did.
EMILY: I'm going to add a question. When was the first time that you were like, ooh, my sister a homo.
KAYLA: That bitch gay.
SARAH: Okay. Sometimes I would go on your Tumblr and stalk it.
KAYLA: Because that's how I found out Sarah was ace, stalking her Tumblr.
SARAH: Because me and Emily did not follow each other's Tumblr's, but we...
EMILY: We were both Tumblr kids.
SARAH: We knew what the other's Tumblr was. And we could just go find it.
[00:10:00]
SARAH: This is exactly what I did to you freshman year. And so I would just stalk your Tumblr sometimes. And one time your description was like, Emily, 16, milk.
EMILY: Sounds like your current Twitter bio.
SARAH: And then it was like, girls. And I was like, hmm. And then I was like…
EMILY: An interesting point. I had never thought of that before.
SARAH: Okay, cool. I was not... It didn't phase me at all really. I was just like, huh. So, then I started looking for clues and I found them many. I found them many. That's, yeah.
EMILY: That's exactly how I found out that you were ace. Because sometimes freshman year, if it looked like you were having a hard time, I would go to your Tumblr and go to the personal tag. And I would see what you had been ranting about. And then I'd be like, okay, this is how she's doing.
SARAH: See, when...
EMILY: Is that bad?
KAYLA: It's funny. No, I would do that sometimes too.
EMILY: Oh, good.
KAYLA: No, when... Sarah's mom.
EMILY: Always in the tags, you know. When we, I think we were both in high school, I non… messaged you on Tumblr
SARAH: I remember that.
EMILY: Asking if you were gay because I just wanted to check.
SARAH: Oh wait, no. I remember that. I remember you messaging me another time on anonymous.
KAYLA: How did you know it was her?
SARAH: It was pretty obvious.
KAYLA: And you answered?
SARAH: I had tried to follow her and then she was like, you said something about you wouldn't let me follow you. You said it on anonymous and I was like, oh, this is very clearly my sister.
KAYLA: So, did you answer her when she anonymous?
SARAH: I don't remember that.
KAYLA: Do you remember if she answered?
EMILY: Yeah, you said no. You answered it.
KAYLA: You guys are, this is very interesting sister dynamic.
EMILY: Yeah, it's real weird.
KAYLA: Like why did you have to ask on anon?
SARAH: Because they knew it was you.
EMILY: We were like six feet away from each other in our rooms typing on our laptops.
KAYLA: God, that's the most Costello thing I've ever heard in my life.
EMILY: Yeah, I've had to act out.
KAYLA: Oh, it was voice recording. Okay, Sarah.
SARAH: We got it, this is a podcast.
KAYLA: True. This one's for you first. How did you come to accept your sexuality?
EMILY: I feel like we've covered this pretty extensively.
SARAH: I don't know, I was just like… I mean it took time of me just like trying on labels and then being like okay, I'm cool with this.
KAYLA: How long did it take?
SARAH: I don't know. Because I can't pinpoint when I first really started thinking about it. I know it wasn't until I was in college. I know that much. And I know around the time we did the musical we did, I was like starting to think about it because I had to kiss Audra.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, you had to kiss a girl.
SARAH: Yeah, and I was just like this is…
KAYLA: Not for me.
SARAH: Yeah, I was like there's something weird happening here.
EMILY: I forgot about that
KAYLA: Sarah's first and only kiss. Which you did not tell the director.
SARAH: No. Or the person I was kissing.
KAYLA: Yeah, because you were like I don't want them to make it a big thing.
SARAH: No. But it's also… I feel like a stage kiss is not quite the same as a kiss.
KAYLA: It's not.
SARAH: But also I was just very stressed out because the way the scene played out was I had to kiss her.
KAYLA: That is very scary.
SARAH: It wasn't like she was kissing me or we were kissing each other. I was kissing her.
KAYLA: Yeah, that is intimidating.
SARAH: But I knew I was thinking about it by like spring. But I don't really know when it started. So, I don't know how long it took to kind of come to terms with it because I just, I don't know.
EMILY: I think honestly when I saw the… when I saw NAPM I was like at that point I had suspected that you were ace for quite a period of time.
SARAH: How long?
EMILY: Probably more than a year. Probably since you were in high school.
SARAH: So you suspected it long before I ever.
EMILY: Yeah, and then I saw like the kiss thing and after that I was like yeah no that's not right.
KAYLA: That’s not right
EMILY: No.
SARAH: That's so interesting.
KAYLA: Hmm.
SARAH: Since high school.
EMILY: Yeah.
SARAH: Well, I feel like that's also just weird cause like not a lot of people have a good understanding of what asexuality is. So, the fact that…
KAYLA: You were both simply children though.
SARAH: Yeah, but like the fact that you not only knew what it was but also suspected that I was it before I did is interesting.
EMILY: And I told my friends you can fact check.
SARAH: What?
EMILY: Hey I think my sister gay is.
SARAH: Wait who did you tell?
EMILY: The usual.
KAYLA: You suspected I was demi before. I mean… it wasn't. The word had come up between the two of us.
SARAH: I think I accepted that you were demi before you did.
KAYLA: Before I did. You were like positive of it before I was.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Emily.
EMILY: Mm-hmm
KAYlA: How long did it take you to accept your sexuality?
EMILY: Many a fortnight.
KAYLA: Okay. So far you've used the word awry and fortnight.
EMILY: Not the game. Yeah, it took a while. It was sort of like a... I don't know. It was weird. Growing up I never pictured myself getting married. And then once you kind of, you know...
KAYLA: I was going to comment on that.
SARAH: Oh, so you can do ASMR on the podcast but I can't? This is treason.
KAYLA: Okay, do you want to go?
SARAH: Well, no. I was just going to say it's interesting that you never imagined yourself getting married. Because I did. But I never ever imagined who I would be marrying.
EMILY: Cat. Yeah, that's true. I had a stuffed cat. His name was Cat.
SARAH: They were married.
EMILY: We were married.
SARAH: He's not as big as I remember him being.
EMILY: No, he's not.
SARAH: But I pictured myself getting married but I could not picture who I was marrying. It was just like... I was just thinking about what kind of dress I would wear. I was thinking about the aesthetics of a wedding without actually being like...
EMILY: That's very you.
SARAH: Marrying a person. Anyway, continue.
EMILY: Well, that's like I said, I told you that you need to have a quinceanera but when you turn 40, just for yourself.
SARAH: I know. Just for myself.
KAYLA: You should marry yourself
EMILY: People will bring you gifts and you get to wear a nice dress.
SARAH: I know. Anyway.
EMILY: Yeah, and then by the time you get to the puberty times and everyone's like, I love blah blah blah. I love blah blah blah. And I was just like, okay, so when will that be happening?
SARAH: Big mood
KAYLA: I think you might get some of that.
EMILY: Yeah, and then it did not. And then probably about like freshman year of high school, I was like, something is a little fishy here. So, I think I watched a lot of YouTube videos about just people's lives.
SARAH: Is that how you found living Rosa?
EMILY: Yes. But during the Olympics in 2012…
SARAH: So specific
EMILY: I know this because we were at… me and Sarah were at our grandparents' house because our parents went on a trip without us. And I found this YouTuber named JennaAnn01. And I was like, wow, she looks like me and she's gay. Like, how does that work? Like, she doesn't have to be super butchy and wear a bow tie. And then I was like, oh, maybe that can be a thing.
SARAH: Wow. So, during that trip, when mom and dad were in Alaska, you kind of came to terms with your sexuality and I learned how to raise one eyebrow.
EMILY: Yes.
KAYLA: Oh, that was that time?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I've heard about this time in your life. Very important steps for both of you, I think.
EMILY: Yeah.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Equally important, perhaps.
EMILY: Yeah. Oh, and also, got to give a shout out to Kaylin and Lucy. They're not together anymore, but they're both great. They were just like a YouTube couple that I watched and I saw it and I was like, oh, like, maybe this could be like a realistic thing for my life and I'm not just like doomed to living in a cave forever. I think so just seeing people.
KAYLA: Wow, it's almost like representation matters.
SARAH: Representation…
KAYLA: It's almost.
SARAH: Does it matter?
KAYLA: It's almost like that.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It is almost that way.
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: A lot to think about there.
EMILY: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh, also during that trip, Grandma did my laundry and I had… I wore thongs. I was in ballet. I did not want wedgies and I was trying to...
SARAH: I like how you just like came out.
EMILY: I wore thongs. And I was trying to hide the thongs from my grandma.
KAYLA: It picks the audio so hard.
SARAH: Yeah, it is yelling apparently
EMILY: I was trying to hide the thongs from my grandma because I knew she would not like them. And she was like, I'll do your laundry, which was weird because no one had done my laundry in like years. And then I came home one day and all my laundry was folded down the dining room table and she found the thongs. And she like was like, Emily, what are these? And I was like, Grandma, that's my underwear. And she was like OK.
KAYLA: What the hell?
SARAH: Did she not know what a thong was?
EMILY: I don't know. Anyway, that was very off.
KAYLA: Whose turn is it to answer first?
SARAH: I don't know, just pick a person.
KAYLA: Okay. Someone. Who was the first person you came out to?
SARAH: Technically, you.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Really, myself. I mean, I...
EMILY: Okay, don't downplay that. That's real.
SARAH: Yeah, that's true.
EMILY: That’s very true
SARAH: But I put it on Tumblr. So, whoever the first person who read it was.
KAYLA: Yeah, but I was the first one.
SARAH: But you were the first person who talked to me about it.
KAYLA: Talked to you about it, because I saw it on Tumblr and I think I messaged you on Tumblr.
SARAH: It was on Tumblr, right? You didn't even text me.
KAYLA: Can we find those messages?
SARAH: I bet we could.
KAYLA: Oh, we should.
SARAH: I'm not logged into my Tumblr right now.
KAYLA: I could look it up.
SARAH: I'll do it later.
KAYLA: Okay. But I was just like, saw this, and you were like, cool. And I was like, cool. I feel like…
SARAH: Maybe C-Ceed will be our okay
KAYLA: Maybe C-Ceed will be our okay
SARAH: C-Ceed.
[00:20:00]
EMILY: C-Ceed. None of this makes sense to anyone.
SARAH: Nope.
EMILY: It's fine.
SARAH: This is what happens when we're together.
KAYLA: So, well, this is hard though because you aren't a huge fan of coming out.
SARAH: Yeah, it's such a thing.
KAYLA: Yeah. So, I mean, you texted your mom.
SARAH: Kind of.
SARAH: About it. But also Emily texted my mom.
EMILY: No. Here's what happened. Sarah was in Germany.
SARAH: Oh yeah.
EMILY: She changed her frame or sticker.
SARAH: Oh, it was like the Facebook.
EMILY: The Facebook frame to like an ace flag and I saw it and I was like okay.
SARAH: It said like, it was like pride and then pride was written in the ace flag.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: A lot of people were changing theirs to like pride with the appropriate flag. So, I was like I'm going to do that.
KAYLA: Yeah, it was a big deal though. You were like I don't know if I should do it.
SARAH: I was like should I do it?
KAYLA: And I was like you should do it. It was a long conversation.
SARAH: It was. Yeah.
EMILY: So, I saw it and I was like oh, okay, cool. And then I like texted my mom and I was like hey, did you see Sarah's profile pic? And she was like yeah, pride is cool. And I was like mom, maybe you should ask her about that a little more.
KAYLA: I love this co-parent thing.
SARAH: And I remember you texted me. You were like, you didn't ask if you could text mom, but you did ask if you could tell mom.
EMILY: Yeah.
SARAH: And I was like yeah, I don't want to do it.
EMILY: Yeah, I did ask you that. Yeah.
SARAH: I don’t want to do it
KAYLA: Yeah. And then our like other college friends, I kind of came out to them for you.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Kind of.
SARAH: Yeah.
EMILY: Who have you come out to?
SARAH: I actually just realized I did come out to my friend. I did come out to some people in Germany.
EMILY: Oh, that's fun.
SARAH: Because it just like kind of came up.
EMILY: Yeah.
SARAH: And I mean both of the people that I like officially came out to in Germany were both queer themselves and I knew that. So, like I was like, this is safe. And then there was one situation where I was like, and I panicked and backed out. I mean since then I've done it a little bit more just because people are like, what's your podcast about?
KAYLA: Yeah, that does kind of force it to happen. But…
SARAH: Yeah, you kind of came out for me to some of our friends because I told you could.
KAYLA: With consent.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And through jokes. It was very good. A very good time.
SARAH: Yeah. Because we would, we had sophomore year we had like walk-in closets. Now mind you, not a fancy walk-in closet.
KAYLA: Oh, it was very bad but they were, you could get in it. It was like a coffin.
SARAH: Yeah, kind of. And we would sometimes just like change clothes in there. Our clothes were already in there.
KAYLA: Yeah. You know. And then like so we didn't have to be like naked in front of each other.
SARAH: Yeah. And then I would just be like, and Kayla would just make jokes about me coming out of the closet.
KAYLA: Because it was very funny.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: To be fair. They were good. They were good.
SARAH: They were okay. Okay. Alright. I was about to pull a Donald Trump and be like ask Emily a question.
KAYLA: See this is weird because in my other podcast like all I do is ask questions. So, I'm having a weird time. Which podcast is this? Emily. Quamps did you come out to first?
EMILY: Uh. Oh Bunny. He's over there.
SARAH: Oh yeah.
KAYLA: Did you like talk to Bunny about it?
EMILY: I was like hello I need to test this out.
KAYLA: Oh, that’s very sweet
SARAH: Bunny is her stuffed rabbit.
KAYLA: I think we've talked about Bunny before.
EMILY: Yeah, he doesn't have a mouth so he couldn't respond very loudly. He wouldn't really do so well on the podcast.
SARAH: No.
EMILY: Because he can't talk loudly.
KAYLA: He's watching us. He’s watching.
EMILY: Anyway, a real human was my friend from Jesus camp actually.
SARAH: Oh yeah. I remember. I mean I don't remember this happening but I remember you telling me that she was first one.
EMILY: She lived in a different state and I didn't see her that often and so I thought okay this is good. I'll test the waters on this and also, she was like pretty religious or Christian and I was like alright this is my like, what's the word?
SARAH: Guinea pig.
EMILY: That thing when you stick the little, if it's acid, acidic or basic.
SARAH: PH test?
EMILY: Not a PH test.
SARAH: Litmus. Litmus test.
EMILY: Okay.
SARAH: That was a lot.
EMILY: She was sort of like my litmus test I guess because we were like pretty close and I just, I don't know. And she was like the nicest, most wonderful human ever about it and is a very cool lady. She's a librarian now. In Los Angeles. And she's great. And so that was the first person.
KAYLA: Emily.
EMILY: Yes?
KAYLA: What was the rest of your coming out process like after the first person?
EMILY: Uh, see I don't even, I don't even really remember when that was. It was probably at some point when I was like 16-ish, end of being 16.
SARAH: When you're 16 and you come out to your friend who lives in Indiana.
EMILY: No. Please stop.
KAYLA: I think I'm going to quit the podcast. Okay.
EMILY: Then, uh, after that I told another friend who I danced with who I was really close to. Well, I was going to say the next person I told was my therapist. I was having a lot of anxiety things. Moral of the story is a bunch of stuff happened and then I was in a fight with my parents. It was a warm August evening. I was 17 years old.
SARAH: Wow, this is true.
EMILY: We were fighting.
SARAH: Were you in the living room
EMILY: We were in the living room.
SARAH: I don't remember those words.
EMILY: We were yelling at each other.
SARAH: We became sick.
EMILY: Yes. Um, we were fighting about what I do not remember entirely. And then at some point I...
SARAH: That's why I knew not to go in the room.
EMILY: Yeah.
SARAH: And then I figured out that you were coming after them.
EMILY: Yeah, I don't know. We did... Me and them did a lot of yelling at that time.
SARAH: Yeah, you were struggling.
EMILY: Yeah. 17's rough. Um...
SARAH: My 17 was fine.
EMILY: No, you were a little turd when you were 17.
SARAH: Was I?
EMILY: Yes.
KAYLA: What'd she do?
EMILY: She was just annoying.
KAYLA: Spill.
EMILY: Not considerate of others.
SARAH: You were… Nothing.
KAYLA: I was like, um...
EMILY: And I was like, okay. I'm... I was like, said something to the effect of like, if I get married, it's not going to be to a man or a purple dinosaur, is what I said.
SARAH: Purple elephant or purple dinosaur?
KAYLA: Dinosaur. Your mom talked to me about this.
SARAH: Yeah. And then they were like, okay. Um... How did this come up in the course of an argument?
EMILY: It was something about me being stressed and they were like, why are you stressed? And like, it was just a whole thing. Because I remember school was about to start.
SARAH: Hmm.
EMILY: Um, yeah. So that's... And it was... Fine. It was cool. They were nice.
SARAH: And I was like, I know what's happening in there.
EMILY: Yeah.
SARAH: But you didn't come out to me.
EMILY: Yeah. Here. Dad, you don't listen to this, but don't listen to this part. Um...
KAYLA: What's happening?
EMILY: It was really sweet because after we were done yelling at each other, um, and I went to bed, um, and I was in my bed, and my dad came in and he tucked me in for like the first time since I was like seven.
SARAH: Did he do like the full out like shove the blankets under the mattress?
EMILY: Yeah, he shoved the blankets under the mattress and was like in his dad way, in his Jack way, was like, I love you.
KAYLA: That’s so cute
EMILY: And it was just so sweet and it made me cry because it was so sweet.
SARAH: Also, because you were stuck in your bed because he tucked you in.
EMILY: Yeah, he tucked me in very securely.
KAYLA: What did you feel?
SARAH: Well, because he would go all out with the tucking in.
EMILY: Like very secure.
SARAH: Like you could not get out.
EMILY: Um, yeah. Okay, dad, you can start listening again.
SARAH: He doesn't listen to this.
EMILY: No, he doesn't.
KAYLA: Do you think that's going to make Julie cry?
EMILY: Probably.
SARAH: Probably.
EMILY: I don't think she knows about that. I've actually never told anyone about that.
SARAH: Aww, a dramatic reveal.
EMILY: Yeah, secrets. And then, okay, so then the rest of my coming out process is I waited until after I was done with high school to tell anyone that I went to school with.
SARAH: But didn't they know that you went to prom?
EMILY: I do not remember how I lied about that.
SARAH: Okay. Um, because to clarify, you went to your prom by yourself.
EMILY: Yes.
SARAH: But you had a girlfriend.
EMILY: Yes.
SARAH: And you went to her prom with her.
EMILY: Yes
SARAH: But my prom was on a Thursday, which is stupid.
KAYLA: That's very dumb.
SARAH: And she couldn't come to it, because it was on a Thursday.
KAYLA: Would you have...
EMILY: No.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I thought you, like, just weren't going to go there.
EMILY: Yeah. I'm not entirely sure how I lied to them about why I was going to prom.
SARAH: In Ohio?
EMILY: Yeah, it's a whole thing. Um, Tumblr. Crazy things happen. Um, yeah, and then I told them after our senior all night party. And they were like, “okay, cool.” And then I had a bit of a falling out with one of them a year later when gay marriage became legal, but that's a whole other story. And then by that point I was ready to go to college, and I was like, whatevs, when I go to college
SARAH: I'm going to get a pixie cut.
EMILY: Yeah, but I wasn't trying to hide anything. I was just like, here I am.
SARAH: Yeah, that's why you got a pixie cut.
KAYLA: A gay.
SARAH: You got a pixie cut to tell the world that you were gay.
EMILY: Okay, that's not the only reason why I got a pixie cut.
SARAH: I know.
EMILY: I have a list of reasons.
SARAH: I'm sure you do.
EMILY: Yeah.
SARAH: It's also a very Costello situation.
KAYLA: It's just a very Emily situation.
SARAH: My coming out experience was fine, anticlimactic.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Well, and there are still some people that don't know.
KAYLA: Like who?
SARAH: I think there are some people that just know I'm queer but don't quite know what I am, and I'm fine with that.
KAYLA: But it's also kind of hard to know who knows because it's hard to know who knows we have a podcast.
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Because it's like when we were in Quidditch, our friends would talk to us about it around other people.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But then you didn't know if they had ever looked at what it was.
SARAH: Yeah. So, there was no way of knowing. Or if they really understood what was happening in the conversation.
KAYLA: So, there could be people that knew and we didn't even know they knew.
SARAH: Yeah. I definitely have people who I know who know I'm somehow queer but I don't think they really know for sure what I am. But that doesn't bother me. I dress like a gay.
KAYLA: You do. We took pictures of merch today and Sarah looked so incredibly gay.
EMILY: I've had multiple people ask me if she's gay.
KAYLA: She dresses very gay.
EMILY: But I've had…
SARAH: I mean several people think that… tell me later on in our relationship that they thought I was gay when I first met them.
KAYLA: Yeah.
EMILY: Well, what was I going to say? Oh, I think just like the coming out serves different purposes for me and you.
SARAH: Yeah.
EMILY: Like for me it's more like…
SARAH: If I want to be in a relationship you need to…
EMILY: You're going to figure it out, yeah.
SARAH: Whereas for me it's like whatever.
EMILY: Yeah. And I think I'm a highly anxious person and I think the stress of like feeling like I was like hiding something or I wasn't like fully what people expected me to be was like a stress that kind of helped me want to come out because I was just like this… it's like an overwhelming stress of feeling like you're lying to the world. And I don't know, I'm just like a type A person, I'm a people pleaser, I want everyone to, you know, love me.
SARAH: Me!
EMILY: And so I think feeling like I was hiding that from people or feeling like I was going to disappoint people was just a lot of stress.
KAYLA: How has your relationship with your sexuality evolved since coming out?
SARAH: I've just gotten more comfortable with it, more comfortable talking about it. And I mean I'm not always comfortable talking about it in all situations.
KAYLA: You're much more comfortable now though.
SARAH: But I am much better now in large part because of this podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah, there's like a noticeable difference over the past couple years.
SARAH: And I mean… I got distracted by that noise. I have ADHD, you know? Sometimes it just, just got to. I don't know. Emily?
EMILY: Was it about your… wait, repeat the question.
KAYLA: The question was how has your relationship with your sexuality changed? Like over time
EMILY: I think before I came out I was so stressed about it that it literally took up 90% of my brain space and I was just thinking about it all the time and was so stressed about it. And then after I came out I did not want to have to think about it and I was wanting to be like, this isn't the most important part of my identity, blah blah blah, and just kind of ignored it except in places where it was relevant. But I feel like now I'm more of at a place where I'm like, yeah, this is who I am. I have a voice about certain issues. Not that I pretend that I'm not, I just don't talk about it as much or bring it up. I'm just more thinking of it in political or social context. But now as I get older I think I'm more like, okay, it doesn't have to be your entire identity, you know that, but you can be proud of who you are without just never talking about it.
SARAH: What are you doing?
EMILY: Did you just hold up a microphone to yourself?
SARAH: Yeah.
EMILY: There's a microphone right here.
KAYLA: There a mic right there. I think that makes sense though, because if it's such a difficult process to come out and it's so stressful for so many people, obviously you wouldn't want to think about it anymore because you've already thought about it for forever.
SARAH: You're sick of thinking about it.
KAYLA: I mean, yeah.
SARAH: Sometimes I feel sick of talking about it because of this pod, but like...
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: No, not talking about it. I'm good with talking about it. Sick of thinking about it.
KAYLA: That's fair, because sometimes it does bring stuff up.
SARAH: Yeah, it makes you think of things that aren't always good. I'm very happy to do this podcast, but sometimes it can be a bit much.
KAYLA: I mean, yeah, sometimes it kind of drags up stuff that you have to work through, which is probably good in the long run, but it's like...
SARAH: But also, at what cost?
KAYLA: It's like, yeah, it's painful sometimes. What advice do you have for people about coming out?
SARAH: Do it whenever you want. Nothing matters. Nihilism.
KAYLA: It's very existential.
SARAH: No, I mean, just like... Do it or don't do it. Like, society is getting to a place, slowly, where, you know, it's becoming less and less necessary to like, formally come out, which I think is great. And so... But, I mean, it still is at a point where you do kind of have to formally come out, so it's like, do it whenever you feel like it. Do it on your own terms. If you want to do it in the middle of an argument with your parents, go for it. If you want to do it by putting a frame on your profile picture. Like, there's...
EMILY: Or Elle Mills style.
SARAH: Oh yeah. Elle Mills style. Just make a video about it. And wrap your house in wrapping paper. Yeah, I mean, just do whatever you... There's no one way, one right way or wrong way to do it.
KAYLA: Yeah. I do think there's like... I mean, I don't know. This isn't like... I guess I'm not speaking from experience here, but I have to imagine that because so many people come out now and it's like, people make videos and it's like a bigger deal. And like, especially around like coming out day, I think a lot of people do come out on coming out day, at least like I see it on social media. So, I feel like there could be a pressure of like, oh, well, I have to come out even when I'm not ready because all these other people are doing it. But like, don't fall into that.
SARAH: But if you're not ready, don't do it. If you're ready the next day, do it. Happy birthday to me.
EMILY: Also, I was just thinking, you were on your way out on National Coming Out Day.
SARAH: That's so true.
KAYLA: What does that mean?
EMILY: She was born. She was being born. She was born on like, two... Sarah's birthday is October 12th. And she was born very early in the morn. Which means she was coming out.
KAYLA: Do you think every baby born at that time is queer?
SARAH: No, because I know Hugh Jackman is not.
KAYLA: You don't know.
SARAH: I don't think he is.
KAYLA: Have you ever asked him?
SARAH: That's a good point.
KAYLA: That's what I thought.
SARAH: Do you have any advice?
EMILY: Um, I think my advice is that you don't owe anyone anything. Um, yeah, I think like what you were saying about coming out being less of a thing. Um, and in an ideal world, National Coming Out Day won't need to be a thing in the future.
SARAH: True. You can just bring home a relationship or not and it'll be cool.
EMILY: Yeah, you don't owe anyone anything you do what you want on your own terms and I think my experience was sort of influenced by what I thought others expected of me and trying to meet those expectations and you do you boo like you don't have to… you don't have to please anyone
KAYLA: There's one question left
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Are you ready?
EMILY: Yep
KAYLA: Okay. Do you have anything that you wish you could change about your coming out process?
SARAH: I mean I wish it wasn't necessary.
EMILY: Yeah
KAYLA: Well, that's same. I mean yes, but…
SARAH: I don't know I mean, would it maybe have been better if I was just more straightforward? It might have been easier like for other people not for me but like I don't know… I don't think I would necessarily change anything
KAYLA: That’s good
EMILY: Yeah, I'm raising my eyebrow, I learned to do that in 2012. Yeah, while I was accepting my sexuality. Um I think the only thing I would change would be that I would have come out to my grandparents myself. I made my mom do it. And these are my grandparents that are not alive anymore, and I wish I had been ballsy enough to do it myself because I knew that they would be fine with it. Like they literally had the same reaction to my mom telling them that I was gay that they did to my mom telling them that she was pregnant with me.
SARAH: Oh, how nice
EMILY: Yeah, my grandma just said oh how nice.
KAYLA: That's so pure.
EMILY: I know, I mean they're not… they're Costelles… they were… they're not very yeah, they were not expressive people
KAYLA: Very emotional people, the Costelles
EMILY: No, um, yeah, my other grandparents. Thanks, Julie hats off to you for that one.
SARAH: At first. I thought you meant that set of grandparents. I was like…
KAYLA: Oh no, no, no
EMILY: Yeah, um, no my dad's parents, but that's the only thing I would change, because I mean, yeah there's things that I wish could have gone differently, but I didn't know anything else at the time so I can't go back. I can't be like, oh, I wish I could change that because I didn't know anything else
SARAH: Yeah, the most important question actually, Kayla hasn't been said yet. The most important question is whose cat is that?
KAYLA: I wasn't involved for this conversation where these questions were made. So I…
SARAH: My sister texted me all these questions and then I didn't respond and then the next thing she sent me was “whose cat is that?”
EMILY: In reference to an Instagram post.
SARAH: Yeah, whose cat is that?
EMILY: I don't know.
KAYLA: It is the Naples Humane Society. Uh, his name is Copper. He's very cute. Go it out to him.
SARAH: Oh Great. What if someone did?
KAYLA: That'd be great. I think his name is Copper
SARAH: Why is it taking voice messages again?
KAYLA: Uh, but there is one more question
EMILY: Yes
KAYLA: Emily you… she got out of her bed to text this to me last night.
EMILY: Yeah, I woke up and left my bed to text this
SARAH: Did you not see your phone? It's like away from your bed.
[00:40:00]
EMILY: Yeah, I keep my phone on top of my microwave
SARAH: Oh interesting
EMILY: Or also if I know I'm going to have to get up early I set up a booby trap for myself and I put like a mug and then my phone and then a plate and then a cup so I have to like…
SARAH: Mind you her microwave is on top of her fridge. It's really up. Why don't you do stuff like that? Maybe
EMILY: I wouldn't hear it.
SARAH: That's so true.
EMILY: Yeah. Um, okay. So, well Sarah. Do you have any more closing thoughts that are more that are of more serious in nature?
SARAH: No
EMILY: Okay
KAYLA: I'm texting my mom. I'm sorry.
SARAH: All right great, the last question
KAYLA: Good talk.
EMILY: Okay. I'm really excited about this question. This is also for Kayla
KAYLA: Yeah
EMILY: And this is going to be the survey question for today. Sarah said it was okay.
SARAH: Yes. Also, a surprise because I was not allowed to know it yet
EMILY: Please yet tell us about the worst time that you were physically stuck in a closet like a real closet.
KAYLA: What if it's never.
SARAH: All right, so at the time I was stuck in a closet…
KAYLA: What if it's never…
SARAH: I wasn't…
KAYLA: What if I'm normal?
SARAH: I wasn't like physically unable to get out of the closet, but I couldn't move out of the closet. I was on set um shooting a film and I was doing sound for the film so I had all the sound stuff I had the boom mic and we were doing this shot where the character walks into a bedroom, but the bedroom is like filled with like boxes and stuff so like there's not a lot of places she can walk and she sits down on the bed and she looks there's like a big mirror on the wall and she looks in the mirror and so the camera and the sound people, me. It was just me, had to be located so that the mirror could not see us in the shot and the mirror couldn't see the boom so I had to sit in the closet on top of a suitcase, it was very precarious, not because the suitcase was going to fall but it was just so uncomfortable but I couldn't move because the sound would have picked it up, so I was like balancing, hiding in this closet on top of a suitcase holding the boom at a weird angle and I wanted to make jokes about it but I don't think anyone there knew I was ace and I didn't want to have to have that conversation because I made it coming out of the closet joke so
KAYLA: That sounds physically uncomfortable.
SARAH: Oh, it was physically uncomfortable.
KAYLA: Okay. I really don't think I have one except for like maybe hide and seek
SARAH: Yeah, okay.
KAYLA: That's like all I have.
EMILY: Here's mine.
SARAH: Okay. I'm ready.
KAYLA: I'm ready.
EMILY: This is… the year was…
SARAH: It was a hot august night.
EMILY: No the year was 2006
SARAH: Oh, a throw back.
EMILY: Um, I was at my friend's Christmas sleepover. It was the morning of like we slept and it was the morning and I had to leave the sleepover early to go to church because Sarah and I were all discerners.
KAYLA: Oh my god same me, too um
SARAH: That catholic church love that for us.
KAYLA: Yeah, I love being a post-cat.
EMILY: Anyway, so I was having to get dressed before everyone else was getting dressed and I was 10 about to turn 11 and I had a bra, it wasn't really doing anything.
SARAH: I'm just sitting
EMILY: It was just it was supposed to go on my body, there was nothing growing. I mean, maybe I had like two fruit loops like I don't know, and so I… Other people were in my friend's room hanging out and so I was like, oh I will go in the closet to change clothes. So I get in the closet…
SARAH: Was it a walk-in closet?
EMILY: No
SARAH: Okay
EMILY: But I mean I was little though
SARAH: Yeah
EMILY: And I walk into the closet with all my clothes to change into and I realized that the bra is not in my possession. And so, I'm in the closet and then some other people come in the room and they're like, oh my god whose bra is that on the ground? I'm just in the closet. They don't know I'm in there. And like they were all just like who wears a bra and looking back we were like in fifth grade like there were other people there wearing bras. I don't know why people were making such a big stink about it. And I was like, oh my god. I'm in the closet. Like what am I going to do? And so I just stayed in the closet until everyone left the room and then I snuck back out and grabbed it and then I went back in the closet and then I put it on
SARAH: I don’t remember when I started wearing a bra. I remember the day…
KAYLA: I was definitely in middle school
SARAH: I remember the day it happened though because we were like sitting in the living room and my mom was like you need to start wearing a bra, like this is becoming, like that's too much to be free. And then I remember wearing it and it was very like there was a tag in it, it was very itchy and my mom was like you don't have to wear it if you don't want to and I was like “no, it's fine, I'm a woman now.” It was like me and my training bra will just sit over here. I didn't like it.
EMILY: That was the worst time I was physically stuck in a closet.
SARAH: Is there like a best time?
EMILY: No
SARAH: Is that the only time? See the worst makes it seem like people do this often.
KAYLA: No, I mean it's the premise of a lot of fan fiction.
SARAH: I'm sure
KAYLA: Yeah
EMILY: Yeah, no, there was another time when I was on a service trip in undergrad and I… Oh, you well no I was hiding in the closet because I was one… we were in like a Baptist church in North Carolina, it was very spooky and I was hiding in a like Custodian closet because I wanted to jump out and scare someone and then when I tried to jump out and scare someone I like couldn't open the door
KAYLA: Oh my God
EMILY: But they heard me in there. So, they were like, are you okay? Um, and then my friend and I took a series of funny photos of us coming out of a custodian closet
KAYLA: Okay. That good is very
SARAH: Oh, wow. All right. So, Kayla is boring, Kayla doesn't have a fun getting to a closet story
KAYLA: I like truly can't think of… well… No, I never got stuck in it. My… Like my parents’ house that I lived in like I had like this big… it was like very angular. So, like the ceilings were really… Like there'd be low parts in the room. So there was like a closet type situation and if you went in it and closed the door it did lock from the inside but I never…
SARAH: Never stupid enough to do that
KAYLA: I was never stupid enough to do that. I was always okay and I… or I brought my phone in with me just in case.
SARAH: Got to be careful.
KAYLA: Yeah. All right. So that's our poll for this week.
EMILY: Please tell us about physically being in a closet
SARAH: Yep, tell us about when you were physically in a closet whether you're queer or not
EMILY: We've all been in one
SARAH: Except for Kayla.
KAYLA: I mean I’ve been in closets
SARAH: Please tell us about that @soundsfakepod on the internet. Oh, before we go into things, Emily what would you like to do? Want to promote yourself? do you have a thing to promote?
EMILY: Um, I forgot about this I was thinking in the shower about my beef but I forgot to think about this.
KAYLA: What a sentence.
EMILY: Um I'd like to promote civic engagement.
KAYLA: Good.
EMILY: Register to vote. Read about your local candidates. Yeah
SARAH: Good. All right. Well if you would like to also promote civic engagement you can become a patron on Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. our $2 patrons are Keith Mcblaine, Roxanne, Aliceisinspace, Anonymous, Marieh Walter, Jonathan, Christopher T Verdieri, Patrick Jackson, Andrew Yang, Nini, Courtney Jones and Eric B. Hi Eric.
KAYLA: Welcome.
SARAH: Thank you for joining us.
KAYLA: Yes
EMILY: I'm not even a patron.
SARAH: She's not
KAYLA: But your mom is, so you kind of are
EMILY: I'm poor.
KAYLA: That's very fair
SARAH: Our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Asthritha Vinacota, Austin Lenny, Drew Finni, Perry Fiero, Dee, Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Tim Ryan, Lutcieti, Book Marvel and changeling mx. this week changeling is…
KAYLA: That's what they were last…
SARAH: How would you pronounce changeling?
EMILY: Changeling
SARAH: Cool
KAYLA: Lame
SARAH: Our $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin @tessa_m_k. I try and say it too fast
KAYLA: You do
SARAH: And I just get ahead of myself. Arcness who'd like to promote the Trevor project Benjamin Ibbara who'd like to promote Tabletop games, anonymous who would like to promote Halloween, still spoopy. Sarah Mccoy who'd like to promote podcasts from a planet weird and my aunt Jennie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven. Our @15 patrons are Nathaniel White, nathanieljwhitedesigns.com. Now I just can't speak. My mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs, Sarah Jones @eternallolly everywhere and dragonfly. What is dragonfly going to promote this week Kayla?
KAYLA: Dragonfly is promoting fall weather
EMILY: That's a big node
SARAH: Yes. All right. Thank you for listening. Thank you Emily for joining us and for giving us a podcast idea.
KAYLA: Thank you for your content, Emily
SARAH: Tune in next Sunday for more rest of us…
EMILY: Wait, wait, wait, wait
SARAH: What?
EMILY: Oh, we didn't do beef and juice.
KAYLA: Holy moly
EMILY: I've been waiting for this juice for hours.
KAYLA: Okay, you go first.
SARAH: I'm so sorry I think I just forgot because normally I like prepare it and right now, I have nothing.
KAYLA: Okay, you go first
EMILY: Okay, I’ve been texting Sarah about this. I'm so excited. Okay. My juice…
KAYLA: Oh my god. She's so excited.
EMILY: My juice is that Ali Krieger had… she plays for the US national team
SARAH: Soccer
EMILY: Soccer, um, she had her 100th cap celebration last night, which means she has played in 100 national or international games, she has actually played in 104, but they didn't do the ceremony at her 100th because it was right before the world cup and you know the world cup. Um, so they got to do it yesterday and it was really cool because her dad was like just in a bad car accident and he like was like hobbling out there like with broken feet and then and then and then um she is engaged to Ashlyn Harris who is a goalkeeper for the team and…
SARAH: Whoa
[00:50:00]
EMILY: She like had Ashlyn come up when they took their family pictures and then…
SARAH: I know all this already, you texted me about it
EMILY: And Ashlyn like started crying when she… Did their little ceremony and it was very sweet and then normally when you have your 100th cap celebration you get to wear the captain's armband for the game but she wasn't actually playing in this game because she like hurt her knee or something earlier in the week so she wasn't playing so normally the captain Carli Lloyd or Megan Rapinoe would wear it, but Carli Lloyd gave it to Ashlyn Harris who's her fiancé so she could wear it during the game
SARAH: That's game so sweet.
EMILY: Yes
SARAH: Yay
EMILY: I love it so much.
SARAH: That's so sweet
EMILY: Ali Krieger is my queen
KAYLA: Good to know, do you have beef?
EMILY: My beef is that I don't think you love me as much as Kyle Krieger loves Ali Krieger.
SARAH: I'm not going to pick you up and spin you or actually…
EMILY: I don't want you to
SARAH: I will pick you up and spin you around if you get 100 caps
EMILY: Okay
KAYLA: Deal.
EMILY: Also, my beef is that I was supposed to shower this morning, but I had no hot water And I didn't have any last night either. So, I stunk at work today
SARAH: Thank you for showering before we arrived.
EMILY: Yeah. Well and the other thing too is I mean I'm sorry listeners. I've been growing out my leg hair
SARAH: Same.
EMILY: But then I've decided within the last week that I do not want it long so then I was shaving in the shower today. Oh my god. I needed a lawnmower, it was taking so long.
KAYLA: I just shaved for the first time in forever yesterday. My legs were like low
SARAH: First time in forever. Didn't we say last week that we were going to sing that together?
KAYLA: I don't recall.
EMILY: Anyway, it took so long but you do you with your body hair
SARAH: I was just haven't been shaving because my skin was very… getting very irritated. And now it's like okay, so I don't know what I’m going to do. It's up in the air. Kayla, what's your beef and juice?
KAYLA: Um, I’d say my beef is I am very excited to be in Michigan But I took a 5 a.m. flight here. So, I had to wake up at like 2:45 in the morning and drive to the airport at 3 to get there by like four. Um, and I went to bed at midnight because that's when I sleep. Um, so I’m dead. And I also drank an energy drink on my drive to stay awake, but it was on an empty stomach so then I got to the airport and then I had some McDonald’s and I felt like garbage
SARAH: Nice
KAYLA: Juice? I mean if I’m in Michigan, very exciting Me and Sarah got our own merch. It was delivered and it's cute. We took some pictures and that was fun.
SARAH: She's wearing it right now.
KAYLA: I am
SARAH: I'm not
KAYLA: It's very cozy. The sweatshirt is so soft. It's very good.
SARAH: I haven't touched it but I will
KAYLA: You should yeah
SARAH: All right, my beef and juice normally I prepare it but I… this is going to be… Juice, it was very nice this morning. It like felt like fall and it was fun and Sadie did so good. And Sadie… me and Sadie walked 3.4 miles.
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That's a long time.
SARAH: And my hips started hurting. Um, that's my beef. My hips started hurting. Also, I'm really sore right now because I was like working out more, because now that my wrist is sort of wristy. Oh, my juice is physical therapy. I like going to physical therapy
KAYLA: Sarah's wrist looks crazy.
EMILY: Is it with the same lady?
SARAH: No
EMILY: Don't you like that lady?
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Oh, no. Yeah, but like they have special hand people at the… Like it's literally just like the hand section.
EMILY: The hand section.
SARAH: Yeah, so…
KAYLA: Oh good.
SARAH: Uh, yeah, uh, my beef is also that I just forgot to do beef and juice. Uh, okay for real now, thank you for listening tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
