5 Tools to Stop Procrastinating with Emma O'Brien

Ever wondered why we procrastinate? In this episode, I sit down with Emma O'Brien to explore the roots of procrastination and uncover five practical tools to help break the cycle. 

Emma is a personal development coach specializing in helping small business owners, solopreneurs, and individuals who feel stuck in their lives to rediscover the mojo that has been lost amidst the baggage of life.

If you've ever been scrambling to finish tasks at the last minute or feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list, this episode is for you. 

Discover why procrastination isn't about laziness and how understanding its causes can lead to lasting change.

By the end of this episode, you'll have actionable steps to transform how you manage your time and approach tasks. Whether you're a chronic procrastinator or just looking for ways to boost your productivity, these tools will help you take control and find balance.

In this episode:

• Procrastination, is it genetic or learned behavior?
• Why procrastination is rarely about laziness.
• Overwhelm, societal pressure, fear of failure, and poor time management.
• Better Time Management.
• Understanding Your Why.
• Evaluating Your Workload.
• Eliminating Distractions.
• The importance of having someone to check in with and setting agreed-upon deadlines.
• Tackling the most anxiety-inducing tasks first versus starting with the easiest for those with ADHD.
• Celebrating wins and recognizing the benefits of completing tasks ahead of time.

Connect with Emma:

Her website: https://emmaobriencoach.com/

Her Podcast: https://lemonsandpineapples.buzzsprout.com/

Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmaobriencoach/

Resources:

Couples Goal Setting Workbook
⁠Rebuild Program

Couples Goal Setting Workbook

Complimentary Relationship Assessment

Follow Katie Rössler on Instagram

Check out the podcast website

Transcript

 Welcome back to the podcast today. I have Emma O'Brien and we're going to be discussing why on earth do we procrastinate? She's going to be giving us five tools to break our habit of procrastination because dear listener, if you're anything like me. It's a tough habits, pretty ingrained and probably something you were doing at a young age.

Raising my hand right now. I was the best at turning in the paper the day of because I did it the night before. 

Welcome to the Balance Code Podcast, a place for high achievers to step outside the hamster wheel of day to day life and start learning tools for more balance. I'm your host, Katie Ressler, and I will be guiding you on this journey of discovering your balance code.

So Emma, thank you and welcome to the podcast. I would love to hear about where you are, what you do and who you serve. Hi, Katie. Thank you very much for having me. It's great to be here. So I'm Emma O'Brien.

I'm a personal development coach. I'm a Martha Bake trained life coach, and I'm also a heart math [00:01:00] practitioner. So I'm British, but much like you, Katie, I don't live in my home country. I live in South Africa, long story. So I got here and I serve people who run small businesses, solopreneurs and entrepreneurs.

As well as people who are stuck in their lives. So I help people figure out why they're stuck and come up with an action plan and help them support them as they get out of being stuck into where. Where they want to be. So this is a great conversation. Procrastinating falls beautifully into that, uh, skillset that I offer.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. So I have a tough question and maybe you know this cause I haven't really done the research on this. Is procrastination a genetic trait? Because I tend to see in my clients and myself that there's usually family members who either modeled it or struggled as well and it just seems like it's like in the family to do this.

Do you know any of this? Is this [00:02:00] a genetic trait that we pick up and continue or is it more We've learned it and we continue it. That's a really interesting question. I don't know about it being a genetic trait, but I think certainly until we become self aware enough to change our own behavior, we're going to be modeling what we were shown growing up.

So if you routinely saw a parent who was constantly doing things at the last minute, that will be, How you show up in the world, because that's what you know. And I think we, tend to, I mean, you know, you know, you're a, you're a therapist. It's, this is, we model what we're shown until we go, Ah, this really isn't working for me.

Is there another way of doing this? Right? The stress is not worth it. I keep doing it to myself. Yes. So why do we procrastinate? What are you noticing are the trends? So I think the one thing to say here is rarely is procrastination laziness. I think it's the story we tell ourselves when we procrastinate.

God, I'm so [00:03:00] lazy. I shouldn't be doing this. And I should, I should have got onto this and why didn't I use my time better? And I think it's often that inner self talk makes it worse because we tend to just, you know, we, we tell ourselves all these stories. And I think. Procrastination is, there's lots of reasons why we do it, and like I said, very rarely is it a result of laziness, I think it comes from being overwhelmed.

The world is an overwhelming place with social media. And, you know, if you scroll through Instagram, it's instant, instantly, you can end up feeling not good enough. So it's, I have to work harder or I need this bigger house. I need this bigger car. It's societal pressure. I think is overwhelming. Our lives are overwhelming.

We've got so many distractions going on with phone. Notifications, email. Lots of us are very busy. I think we have too much to do. I think a lot of people have got poor time management skills, because I don't think that's something that's effectively taught when we're growing up either. And the big [00:04:00] underpinning thing for procrastinating is it's usually driven by the thoughts we're having about something.

And I think it's often very fear driven. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of failing and all of this comes back to that inner talk, all of this chatter happens and then we just end up sitting, not doing anything. I'm intrigued to know what, what your experience with your clients has been as well on this.

Yeah, no, I think you're exactly right. I think another component is some of us perform at our best with that pressure behind us. And so we kind of, we ride the high. Like, oh, the adrenaline got, okay, I can't do it. And there's a point though, I think where our nervous system and our bodies go no more.

Yeah. We can't do this anymore. Like you're becoming mean to everybody around you. Like, this doesn't work. Mm-Hmm. . So yes, it is the thought process. It is the, I don't wanna do that thing. Or there's so many other things that are more important first. and then. that time pressure. Like all of a sudden we have like a stopwatch basically, right?

[00:05:00] Like, you know, can you beat the clock? I'm going to be 15 minutes late to the thing I need to get to because I decided to do this activity right before leaving the house. Right. Oh yeah. I think also to come back to what you've said, That piece about I perform better under a deadline is also a story we tell ourselves.

Absolutely. Just to throw that out there, because I think, I think often it is, and that's been something, and I say that because that was a story I told myself. And then you have no choice but to pull the thing off. Because you have a very hard stop. And if you reflect back, chances are, if you did a little bit every day for two weeks, you wouldn't be the day before doing the whole thing if you planned your time better.

And that's where I think the time management piece comes into play. Most people are bad at managing time. Yes, I agree that's not a skill set that is taught. We're kind of just following the lead [00:06:00] of what is told to us in school or at home, or like there's always someone leading us versus us leading ourselves and it's hard to be self disciplined with that.

Well, let's segue into what are those five tools to break the habit of procrastination? Let's start with number one. Yeah, so I think the first one is to get better at managing your time, and if you are somebody who has the narrative running of I don't have enough time for things, I will challenge you to say that I bet you do, but it's just how you're using your time.

And often it's something we're not aware of until we put focus on it. So Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you were to do a time inventory over the course of a week and see how often you're scrolling through social media, and I know because I do it, I could spend half an hour scrolling through fun animal videos on TikTok and that time has just gone and there's 30 minutes.

I could have been doing something more useful. So it's starting to be aware of where you're using your time. And when we [00:07:00] know where the time is going and we can plug up time leaks, we can start to use our, our time far more effectively. I think that's a, that's a really big one. Yes. And I know for a lot of us, when the iPhone came out with the track, what you're doing thing, and it was like, you all of a sudden could see how much time you were spending on your phone.

You're like, no way. Five hours. What? Yeah. Yeah. Very easily done. The second one, and I think this is probably one of the most important. Ones is to understand why you're procrastinating because when we know why we're doing something, we can start to make a shift. And I think sometimes it can be a self sabotage, an unconscious self sabotage pattern.

And I noticed this. with myself and with my coaching clients, when there's a goal that's been set that starts to stretch you out of your comfort zone, the amygdala goes, ha, we don't know what's going to be happening out there. And if [00:08:00] we get this thing that we want, What if the world completely changes and we can't cope, so you know what, I'm going to encourage you to go and doom scroll or go and clean out that drawer that you've just suddenly remembered needs to be tidied.

And, it's, this kind of unconscious self sabotage that also causes us to procrastinate. And then you'll end the day going, I didn't do anything. I cleaned a drawer, great. But I didn't do anything to move myself. And I think he's starting to become aware of when you feel the idea from the ether to go and clean the drawer, why am I doing this?

What am I avoiding? And we can start to have a look at why we're doing it and start to unpack those thoughts that are underneath the procrastinating. So maybe it's fear of failure is a big one. So people set a goal and they don't take any action because they sit stuck in what if it doesn't work. Right.

Right. Oh my gosh. Self sabotage. Yep. Absolutely. In that drawer. It always gets you. Like, no, this drawer [00:09:00] is so important or whatever it is. Like this thing is so important. Yeah, definitely. What's your third tool? So I think the other one is to evaluate your workload. I've been seeing clients at the moment who were small business owners who were telling me they're overwhelmed.

They can't get to everything. And then they're procrastinating, quite frankly, because they are overloaded. Right. With tasks. I'm a big fan of having a look at what can you automate and what can you delegate to free up time so you can get yourself moving forwards. Some people are just too busy and have too much on their plates.

Yes, absolutely. Brené Brown says in Atlas of the Heart, there's stressed out and there's overwhelmed and stressed out is where your brain is like, I don't have the capacity, the resources to be able to make this day happen and get what I need to done. And overwhelm is like where you blank out. Like I can't think.

I'm frozen. I don't know what to do next. And you're right. When we get in that state of overwhelm, it is so much easier to, to scroll on the phone or [00:10:00] do quote busy work that isn't actually work. And then we feel even worse because all those tasks are still there. So delegating. And, And, and also I encourage on this podcast, what are the things you actually don't need?

Cause they're rubber balls and someone else can do them. Right. And again, bounce away. and we have to be willing remember, we don't have to do everything just because we're good at it. Just because we can. And it doesn't mean we have to say yes. Yeah. So we've got get better at time management.

Understand your why stop and really go, why am I doing this right now? Why is this important? What am I escaping? Evaluating the workload. Was that three? Yes. Evaluate the workload. Restart that. And then the third one is just us re evaluating that workload and going, I am super overwhelmed.

What can I get rid of? What can I let go of? These are wonderful and you're really piecing it to it like, hey, we actually can do this this week. We can start using this tool. So I'm excited about what four and five are because these are like, yep, this is doable. So I think four, for me is to get rid of distractions.

So we have a lot of things that distract us. The tinging telephone. Is a big one. And I know for, for me, if I need to knuckle down and get something done is the phone will go on flight mode face or on silent face down or in another room. So you can't just go, Ooh, what was that email that came in? Closing your browser tabs, or if you have an alternative.

Laptop or computer you can work on if you're writing, for [00:11:00] instance, something to, I've got a little Chromebook and I've got a MacBook. So the MacBook has got no tabs open. So there's nothing to go ting. And I go, Oh, what's that there? You know, shiny object syndrome is to get rid of all the things that could pull you out of the task you're doing, especially if it's something that you're having to sort of push through.

Cause it's a task you don't really want to do. Those are the tasks I think we're most prone to go, Oh, I'm just going to spend five minutes scrolling and five minutes turns into an hour, you know, so getting rid of those distractions is super, super important. The other thing that's, has come up for me with people as well, working in an office environment is often you'll have people who just walk into your office.

And what can you do about that? And I think the thing is there, this, this comes into a slightly different topic of boundary setting, but is, can you put a sign on your door if you have one that says, I'm busy with something until 12 o'clock? Let's say, please don't bother me unless [00:12:00] you're on fire. and again, if you're at home, if you're working from home and you've got small humans, cause they're great at interrupting is to just say to them, kids, I have something to do for an hour.

When I'm done, we will go and do whatever it is you want, but please, I just need this time now. Don't bug me. And I think it's just being aware of what the distractions can be and mitigating as far as possible. And with those kids, I find timers help. I've, I have several kids as people know. And so timers, cause then they can watch it.

And they're like, it says 30. Look, now it says 29. Right. And they're like, perfect. I'm just going to keep working. 

Hey there. I wanted to take a moment to interrupt this interview to share with you a resource I have for you. Do you find that you and your partner struggle to set goals together? No, I'm not talking about cleaning out the garage or finally filing taxes, but to actually set goals about your relationship.

Well, I have the couple's goal setting workbook [00:13:00] just for you and your partner to help you start getting more focused on building your relationship rather than getting the to do list items off of your household tasks. So check down in the show notes for the couple's goal setting workbook and make sure you take some time out in the coming weeks to use it and start to build a stronger relationship together through setting goals that you're both excited about.

Now let's go back to the company culture because I have worked with some companies here in Munich that have an open door policy. So it is against the rules to close your door unless you're in a meeting or, you know, something heavily important.

And I remember talking with them about boundaries and the fact that if you want to be productive, you can't keep being interrupted. And though they got the concept. It went against the values of the company. And I said, okay, well, then you have to decide what's more important, a community style feel of we're always available or healthy boundaries that allow you to be productive with time [00:14:00] slots of when you are available and that they can come.

And so it was something we had to really hash out because I totally get that. There are companies out there who desire that culture of We are here for you anytime you need, but then don't expect for, you know, your employees to be able to get things done easily. Don't expect your higher managers to be able to stay focused.

There's going to be a constant interruption. And as you and I know, that's 20 to 25 minutes of your time. Just getting refocused after you've paid attention to the person walking your office or that being in the email. We'd like to feel important. So when somebody comes to our desk, Oh, hello, you're here to talk to me or being, Oh, something's on my phone.

What, what does somebody need or want from me? But then you're not going to get things done and it will continue off. So you're right. We have to be really mindful if you're in a company culture like that, these are the types of conversations to be having with your team about. Where are appropriate boundaries?

You don't have to be a closed door all the time, but where are appropriate boundaries? I love beautiful [00:15:00] offices that are all like glass walls, but then I also think, you poor people. You can never, you know, you're always, always distracted. So there are these concepts that we have of making things look modern and beautiful, but we're actually making it worse for ourselves.

Yeah, yeah, I was talking recently to an ADHD coach and that's an interesting one with procrastinating and she said sometimes it might be as simple as if you're in an open plan office and like you said you're in a culture where everybody, in order to be in line with the company values has to be available.

But maybe it's you put some headphones on and, you have a, and I think it is about open communication within a team of people saying, guys, I work much better if I have two hours without being bothered. Other people will be able to dip in and out. And that's, it's understanding how each person works.

People, how each person works and what the boundary is. So it might be putting a pair of headphones on. So for somebody saying to the rest of the team, when I have my headphones on, I'm busy with something I'm not [00:16:00] available. When I'm not wearing the headphones, you can come in and you can ask me, what's going on?

Whatever, but there might just need to be some signal of I'm busy with something and I need to be able to focus on this. You know, it makes, like you said, it makes it so hard to restart on a task if you're in the zone and then every five minutes somebody's coming in to ask you a question. I mean, I, thankfully don't work in that environment.

It's frustrating, it's frustrating enough if I have my dogs barking when I'm doing something, let alone somebody coming and bothering me every five minutes. Absolutely. And every introvert listening is like, I'll just put the headphones on the whole day. The whole day. Glue them on. Big project, guys. Big project.

Really just have no time. I'm so sorry. Well, Emma, what is our, the fifth tool you have for us? I'm toying with which one I share here. So maybe I'll give a bonus extra on if we've got time. So I think having accountability is really, really helpful for getting stuff done. This is where If [00:17:00] you are a small business owner or you're somebody who's working on personal life stuff, this is where having a coach is really valuable because you've got someone to hold you accountable in a work environment.

It's having, agreed upon deadlines and having that accountability. And I think if you are somebody who tends to go, Oh, I've got loads of time to get this done and then gets to the day before something's due. If that's you, maybe you can build some accountability in of checking in with somebody to say, today I did 30 minutes towards this project.

I think once somebody shifts their way of working out of lastminute. com into Planned spacious time, it will, you won't go back to thelastminute. com because it's actually so nice to be, and it's, it's an alien concept for a lot of people, I think, in, in our culture to feel under control. It's an alien concept, but it's very helpful and it's much less stressful.

Absolutely. Yes. [00:18:00] I was just thinking about there's these times where we. think that we don't need accountability. We think that it's weakness and yet, and I've said this on the podcast before, we forget that from childhood to now, we've always had accountability. We've always had wake up, it's time to get up.

Hey, did you remember this time to turn in that paper, take the test, but we always have had accountability. So why do we get in this place in adulthood where we're like, no, accountability is bad. And that's weak. Like, no, you're already conditioned this way. Like it actually supports you to have the accountability and you know, it will help you reach your goals faster, be more productive, get things done.

And if you find that the accountability makes you feel like you're failing more and you know, it's not working out, then it's a different type of accountability that you need. And there are some other shifts that like you said, in the beginning, maybe we need to figure out your why or time management.

And when you start to do that, the accountability works again. So yes, I have, and I've shared before, I have somebody [00:19:00] I meet with on Mondays and for about an hour to 90 minutes, we co work. And we're both on zoom. We turn off, we see each other's faces. So it's like, I saw you weren't in the room. What were you doing?

Right. You know, we're like, I saw you on your phone. What were you doing? We hold accountable and the good feeling after the 60 to 90 minutes of actually getting the mundane tasks done is such an awesome high. And then you get to celebrate with someone, right? You get to be like, Oh my God, we did it. We got that done.

Boom. The week is easy. Yeah. It's needed. Absolutely. Hmm. Hmm. Super important. And I think that's a great idea you've shared there. If you're, if you work for yourself, it's very difficult because you have to account for yourself. And as we all know, while we're having this conversation, easier said than done.

Yep. Absolutely. We do have time for a sixth tool, so I'm excited to like, okay, throw this one in bonus. Okay, so this is really interesting, and often if you want to get started with [00:20:00] something, my ethos on it is to tackle the most anxiety inducing, difficult task first. Wipe it off the slate. Get it done, and then allow the easier tasks to happen throughout the rest of the day.

That is how I work best. Now I have recently been coaching and talking to people with ADHD, for whom that is so counterintuitive, it just doesn't work. So for people with ADHD, the way to get started if you procrastinate is to pick the easiest possible task you can find. And start with that one and then work your way up to the more difficult ones as you get your little dopamine hit every time you have a small win for completing a task so you build your confidence throughout the day and build your sense of accomplishment.

So this has been a fascinating journey for me. Everybody does things slightly differently. [00:21:00] And, this kind of draconian approach that I take with myself won't work with, some people. Some people will just sit paralyzed in fear of this task is too enormous. I can't do it. One of my clients who's got ADHD describes it as the wall of awful.

And she said, you know, I will just build, allow the wall of awful to build as I procrastinate more and more and more until it all comes tumbling down. Oh, and you feel it like you just saying, I'm like, Oh God, I know how that feels. Absolutely. Absolutely. So it's really knowing yourself and understanding.

There are a lot of productivity books out there. There's a lot of time management books out there, but you need to know yourself and how your brain works and what's affected because you're right. The, the whole eat that frog concept of like, just do the big thing first. And just, then you're done and you can do all the little stuff and you feel accomplished.

Really doesn't work for everybody and there's probably times where you and I who I'm I'm the eat the frog type person as well Mm hmm. There are some projects where it's like no, I'm little things let's get [00:22:00] little things at a time because We can get overwhelmed and maybe it is because so much in life feels overwhelming that you know That frog is like no, I'm not going to do that Yes I think that's really important and a great bonus tool.

Know yourself and know, do you need to just do the big thing first or little things that give you that high of like, I've done it, I've done it. Look at me and celebrate along the way. I'll add it's a seventh thing. Celebrate. When you don't procrastinate, feel how good it feels when it's done. And even though your nervous system might be like, Oh my God, I'm calm.

This is weird. I don't like this. What did you, yes, sit with it and yeah, happy dance, put on some music, call every friend you've got and be like, look what I did. And they'll be like, cool. Why are you calling about this? But know you well, they're proud of you. You can send them a message. I'm going to be a bit weird this week.

Just run with it. Okay. Exactly. Trying something new. Yep. You're my accountability partner. So we're going to celebrate together. Whether you like it or not. Yeah, exactly. [00:23:00] No choice. Emma, these were wonderful. And these tools I know are going to help people. Plus the bonus. If people want to connect with you and learn more from you, where can they find you?

So my website is the best place, which is emmaobryoncoach. com. You can also catch me on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook at emmaobryoncoach. And I also have a free seven steps to getting unstuck formula. Masterclass, which you can get on the website. I'm sure you all can share the link in the, in the show notes for that as well.

so yeah, that's where you can find me easy, easy to look up. Excellent. Yes. All of those links will be in the show notes. Emma, thank you so much for teaching us today and giving us some fun tools, making it interactive. And I'm, excited to like sit down and go, okay, what are the ways I can start to tweak things?

Cause I know there's some areas I can work on. And figuring out my why and how to switch some accountability and improve my time management and really look at the overwhelm. Definitely. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you very much for [00:24:00] having me. It's been great. I've really loved our conversation.

And dear listener, here's to finding our balance code.

Thank you for listening to today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Take a moment to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast platform. That helps other listeners just like you to find this podcast too. Want to connect and learn how we can work together? Check out the links in the show notes below.

Discovering your balance code doesn't have to be a one person journey. You can have a team and I'd love to support you. So here's to finding our balance code.