Supporting Us

As I stand on the precipice of a new chapter in life, moving to a fresh city, I'm struck by the profound nature of transitions. They are the thread that weaves through our latest episode, where we're joined by the incredible Aniiya, a Houston-based artist and mother, and Nadege, all the way from France, a celebrity fitness trainer and champion of women's empowerment. Together, we engage in a heartfelt exchange on the art of shedding our old skins—whether it's outgrown belongings or relationships—as we step into seasons ripe with opportunities. It's a discussion that delves deep into the essence of parenthood and the profound influence it has on our every action, bringing with it a call for self-awareness and a dedication to personal evolution.

Host KC Carnage (@iamkccarnage), Aniiya (@aniiiyamusic) and Nadege (@nadege_ndjebayi) 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You know, one thing that is crazy about parenthood is that it shapes your life and if you don't work on it. If you're not like curious, you will never pay attention. Here you're a grown person acting just like your parents. Your wife told you that all the time just like your dad. You're just like your daddy. Because of behavior traumas. Pass it on. That's it, that's all. That's it, that's all.

Speaker 2: 0:46

That's it, that's all. That's it, that's all. Is that really it, though? What up, what up, what up? Y'all Welcome to. That's it, that's All. I'm your host, kc, y'all already know. And today we got Miss Anaya. Hey y'all, this is Anaya, how y'all doing. And we got Nidesh Hello everybody.

Speaker 2: 1:06

And today, you know, you know, usually I have a bunch of questions, but I kind of just wanted to have a free flow. You know, I think that, like when I was thinking about what I wanted to talk about with these ladies today, just based on what I know about them and the stories they have told me, I feel like we're in a transition period, a transition period to our blessings. So I want to talk about that, I want to hear some of their stories. And I know Nadege she hails from France, and we got Anaya, who hails from Houston. And you know, I'm also in a transitional period. I'm actually about to move to another city myself and I want to talk about transitioning into your blessings. But before I go into that, let's talk about you guys. Where are you guys from? What are you guys doing?

Speaker 3: 1:47

out here in LA. Yeah, so I am born in Florida, raised in Katy, Texas shout out Katy in Houston. That's where I lived in my adult years and when I was younger. But what I do? I'm a singer, songwriter. I also just started doing vocal production for people because I love the recording process. It's probably my favorite part about being an artist, so that's what I do. I also am a mother. I've got a four-year-old, a little baby. So yeah, I do a lot. I do a lot Nadege.

Speaker 1: 2:24

I am Nadege. Where do we start? I'm from France Paris, by the way of life, now Los Angeles. I am a celebrity fitness trainer. I empower women, I think. Change the world one person at a time so you set me up tonight so we can talk about it exactly exactly so let's talk about it.

Speaker 2: 2:44

Yes, exactly, exactly so let's talk about our transitions. Um, I know for me that you know I've been in la for about, I would say, close to 10 years. Right, and something has been calling my spirit lately. I was sitting in my apartment, you know. I had a big three-bedroom apartment. I was by myself, me and my cat, like a spencer woman, but you know that's boy and he keeps me company. So fuck, what y'all got to say.

Speaker 1: 3:07

That's it baby.

Speaker 2: 3:08

But I felt, like you know, my spirit was calling me for something different. You know, I've done a lot in LA as far as music is concerned, as far as traveling is concerned, as far as building my show is concerned, but I also felt, like you know, I felt content, like I felt like I'm in this box and I can't get out. And in order for me to do that, I have to challenge myself, to be fearless and move and shake.

Speaker 2: 3:32

And I think that, like, only blessings come when there are new doors open and there's new space and it was funny because, in order to do that, I did a couple of things while I was moving. That I did a couple of things while I was moving, I did like an indoor yard sale, because when I started pulling stuff, out of closets and stuff. I was like, wow, I got so much stuff and I had to give myself grace, like Casey, you've been here for like nine years. Of course you got a whole bunch of stuff. But in that stuff I was like none of this stuff serves me so let's talk about the stuff that is not serving us.

Speaker 2: 4:05

Right serves me, so let's talk about the stuff that is not serving us right. Um, and how are we moving?

Speaker 1: 4:10

forward to pushing that out of our lives to allow new things. Um, that's where I start to start the shit. Okay, men, men, you don't need men.

Speaker 2: 4:20

Um not in a bad way. We love, love y'all, we do.

Speaker 1: 4:22

We, love y'all we do we love the hell out, y'all okay, but the thing is like I wish you know if you had one thing you can do in life. It's like go talk to like a version of you that is younger, who can disturb everything and be like just be focused yo, just be focused, focus on you. I remember my dad. You know, one thing that is crazy about parenthood is that it shapes your life.

Speaker 1: 4:47

And if you don't work on it. If you're not like curious, you will never pay attention. Here you're a grown person acting just like your parents your wife told you that all the time Just like your dad.

Speaker 3: 5:00

Just like your daddy.

Speaker 1: 5:01

Because of behavior traumas, pass it on all this stuff, and so I'm going straight for it.

Speaker 2: 5:08

Go for it, that's what we're here for the real.

Speaker 3: 5:10

Let's not lose time, you know.

Speaker 1: 5:10

Because I'm crazy. That's what you say and what is so crazy about parenthood is that my dad been telling me like focus on yourself when you're going to get to this money men's going to be at your door. I'm seeing my friends. They have boyfriends, like what you're talking to me about. Right, it's like I'm almost weird because of society. But then you know I was like okay, maybe you know that's my dad. I love my dad so much. I'm like maybe I gotta listen a little bit just a little bit.

Speaker 2: 5:38

It's the question me. I don't really want to listen I'm like so, do you think so? So my question was like things that you, um, don't serve you anymore. Do you think that you were focusing on trying to be in a relationship and it was maybe like stunning you moving forward in your career goals or your life?

Speaker 1: 5:55

potentially no I just think that, like from like before zero until you get here, you've been focusing on people and the likeness and the loveness, looking for love outside of yourself, first of all, and looking for the love that, like daddy is not giving me that love, that, like there's some missing, I'm gonna get it somewhere else yeah or some women don't have daddy and they will go get the energy somewhere else, and it goes for everybody. So it's not to say like we don't need men in the sense that we don't need them.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Cause we definitely need y'all, we love y'all. Okay, uh, don't come for me. Um, but it's just like everybody got a heel on themselves Women. That's why I love women apartment.

Speaker 1: 6:43

so much is like we got to heal on ourselves so we can help one another be in places like this do things like that, you know, and but men's got to do that on this side too, and sometimes we might have to be the bridge, yeah, but it's like everybody got to heal so we can get better. So, in the midst of like being a woman because you know my target is a woman, exactly Focus on yourself. Okay, how about you, ana?

Speaker 3: 7:10

Yeah, I feel like. So I know, like growing up I had a lot of friends. I was one of those girls with a whole bunch of friends and I would like throw a party. I mean, I was just outside before. That was a thing. Like seriously, he's out here, I was out here.

Speaker 3: 7:27

But here's the thing, though, like I grew up because I didn't have my dad growing up like telling me these things, pumping these things into me you know what I'm saying. So, like my mom was a single mom, so I just kind of like figured things out, you know, and I think, um, I gravitated toward a lot of people that I wanted to help and that I felt like maybe I could help them or they needed me in a sense, you know. So I think life and God like isolated me at a very young age. I graduated high school a little early and moved, and like I had isolation and I've had, I've actually been blessed to be isolated, because being able to be isolated is a blessing. It gives you time to focus on yourself. You see, these things that don't serve you. A lot of the times we don't serve ourselves too. You feel me like when we tell ourselves, oh we finna do xyz, and we don't do these things. Those habits are not serving you.

Speaker 3: 8:15

So I feel like I learned at a younger age like there's a lot of things that aren't serving me. But let me look and see what I'm doing that's not serving me, um, and then, just kind of like going along with what she was saying, I feel like, because I didn't have, you know, like my dad, whatever, got daddy issues, whatever. I think, because of that, though, I was looking for love you know what I'm saying and like even getting with my son's father, like that whole situation, like my career was really actually going up, and I was like, oh, I think I'm at this place where I, you know, whatever. So I just think, um, even when we do those things, because we're human, we can get ourselves into situations that may not serve us, but we have to like have that foundation within us. That's like, at some point we got to check ourselves, and I just think people always looking outside, who can I check? Okay, look at you though, right?

Speaker 2: 9:06

we picking these things right. No, I always believe that, like I was, like, one of the things that I'd like to stick by is like, I do believe that when God is making you uncomfortable or things aren't like moving in the way that you think that it should be moving it, it means that it's time for a change, it's time for a transition. Because whatever, whatever, because, because hard workers don't fail. Come on, I believe in that, like, if you're a hard worker, you got ambition, you are kind, you are moving with intention, you will not fail. Yeah, the thing that makes us get kind of like in our heads is the fact that we have this plan right, because people that are ambitious like I'm a planner, like I got, like I yo, I'm a whole project manager a lot of the times with my type A personality, and then when something does not go in those in that bracket or in that order, I get my anxiety flares up.

Speaker 2: 9:56

I feel like I'm not doing anything. I have. I leak in these self-doubts about what am I like? But I had to stop myself. I had to stop myself. I had to really and that's with growth, right, you got therapy, you start talking to yourself, you sit with yourself. You have these conversations with yourself and you start to realize, like wait a minute. You've accomplished so much by you negating everything you have done is a slap into in the face of your growth. Take a beat, give yourself some take a beat like relax relax.

Speaker 2: 10:22

So I go into my life. So what are some things that you guys do to um, calm yourselves, like really like ground yourselves when you know that it is time for a change or you see that your career or like something personal in your life is happening and it may be a little crazy around you. What do you guys do personally to like take a beat and reflect?

Speaker 3: 10:45

Yeah, I guess I'll say like for me. First of all, I've moved a whole bunch of times and I have done things very off track. I am very unorthodox and I'm cool with that, and I just won't let nobody try to tell me oh, you've moved, yes, that's me. You know I'm cool with that. So I think that's one thing is just knowing I'm me and this is my journey. Um, that.

Speaker 3: 11:08

And then I think too, like me being a mom, that's the most check, that that checks me, because I can plan oh, my son's gonna go to bed at this time, he not, he not, he like stuff's not about to go my way, and I feel like that has taught me a lot in life. Like I can have this grand plan. But there's so many things that I cannot control. The only thing I can control is how I respond to these situations, and I just feel like that'd be the test, is just like how are you going to keep responding? And then, like, by you responding in these ways that are beneficial, I feel like more blessings come in. So I'd probably say that just knowing I can't control much that keeps me calm and grounded.

Speaker 1: 11:53

Amen.

Speaker 3: 11:54

Yeah, thanks.

Speaker 1: 11:56

That's crazy, because at church Sunday they were just talking about that and I think they were saying something in the lines of what you just say right now about you know, if you stay like elevated, the elevated things gonna come to you. So it's simple, it's not easy for anything and nobody. You get here you're like an alien. You don't know what the fuck is going on, what the you got to learn how to walk, how to talk, how to eat, how to poo by yourself. So you're not crazy out there Some of y'all missed the potty potting training.

Speaker 3: 12:40

What kind of guys?

Speaker 1: 12:41

No, I'm kidding. Then you got to you know, know you absorb all that energy from your parents and you got to become somebody and every day we're just becoming.

Speaker 3: 12:51

We're new here you're new here today. You feel me, in the grand scheme of life, like we really are so young you, you just get here.

Speaker 1: 12:59

It's crazy, yeah, some 20 years ago you just get here, so it's like you got to just breathe. Ain't nothing better to ground yourself Just like. Take a minute, one hand, one hand, just feel every you know piece of air Like mind you, this is a masterpiece. That's why I'm a trainer. I love bodies. I don't care the size of bodies, I just care for you to be the beast version of yourself, because then you go with that mindset she beats talking shit you go with.

Speaker 1: 13:38

That's why she wore the shirt. She said she was a hole.

Speaker 3: 13:41

She's the A Look at the guys.

Speaker 1: 13:44

Come on.

Speaker 3: 13:45

So now you know you can physically.

Speaker 1: 13:47

Physically, there's days where like, oh my God, I'm only one of my family who left all the way to America to make it happen, and it's like sometimes you're like people are like, oh, influencer and celebrity trainer and whatever you know the title that they give you. Yeah, it's cool, I lived the dream, for sure. But like, sometimes, actually, that's the point, you got it.

Speaker 2: 14:13

That's the point. It's also to likeew, and actually that's the point, you got it. That's the point. It's also, too, like trusting your journey, right. We talk about, like you know we're so when you're focused and you have a lot of ambition, right. I believe in dreams, like I'm a big dreamer. There's a lot of things that I've dreamed of. It was relationships or things, and like deja vu is one of my best friends, yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:33

Because, like even moving to California when I first moved here, I would step on a corner and feel like I was like, or I would talk to somebody and be like I know you Like, you know what.

Speaker 3: 14:41

I mean yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:42

So it's like trusting your journey because we want to get to the end goal, because we know we deserve it right. But is that not narcissistic to say, though? I always think about that, because what makes us more deserving than the other person we answer to?

Speaker 1: 14:56

right, I got one for you right your ancestors come on your ancestors, absolutely, because how did you get here? Do you know? For the last 2000 years, it took 400 ancestors to make you 400 people who had to survive. What the hell was going on in this place. And this place keep going crazier and crazier and crazier every day.

Speaker 3: 15:14

So I don't have tv because it's like yeah, it's wild to the movies, I know what is coming, I'm gonna get scared, I'll go back home and that's it yeah like it's not because your ancestors.

Speaker 1: 15:28

It took so many people. You are special. Getting here is not a race. All that right thing y'all gotta All your books is not fully accurate. I was about to use another word.

Speaker 2: 15:38

I cut myself. You can cuss. Huh yeah, you can cuss A booty sheet. Okay, I heard you cuss three times. Your books are a booty sheet.

Speaker 1: 15:45

You might want to go and check literally everything about this place Life, all of it.

Speaker 2: 15:52

but long story short. It's like the energy.

Speaker 1: 15:55

Everything is energy and, as the energy is emerging, for you to come here, it's a choice as a mother of views.

Speaker 3: 16:02

But life I was going to say too, like to get you here. It's not narcissistic, that's what the world wants us to think. Okay, and there's a Bible verse. Actually it's called for. Many are called, but few are chosen. I have that tattooed on me. Everybody's called. I want to see every. It's gross down up in here.

Speaker 1: 16:19

Yeah which is a funny place to have a bible.

Speaker 3: 16:22

Another show no, it's like everybody is. In my opinion, everyone is chosen, everybody has a purpose. But here's the thing everybody has roles in life, right oh? Absolutely there wouldn't be no basketball game if there wasn't people in the stands. You got to have a coach, you got to have a water boy. You got to have people, got to have a starting five. You got to have everybody in a role. And let me tell you, the tables turn, so your role can always be different it can always change.

Speaker 2: 16:52

And then also, too, I always believe that if you're doing somebody else's job, it's a job not getting done. Right, come on, because people will be really good at something. Right, and not realizing how important that their role is to this vision. Right, and they see, maybe a person like, well, take, for example, we're in music. Right, how many girl groups have lasted? Right, how many girl groups have lasted? You might have that one that's the lead singer. They're focusing on that lead singer, or whatever. But guess what? Y'all helped in that vision. Because, no matter what you may want to do, something or somebody will get upset and be like well, y'all cheating her, so I'm gonna break off and now everybody's shit fucked up. You know what I mean. Like, just because you are a part of the vision, you could still simultaneously have your own vision, but you do have to recognize that everything is in a place, everybody does have a role, and when that role gets janked, that's when stuff start getting weird yeah, but the roles can.

Speaker 3: 17:43

They can always change in like, to be successful, you have to have this thing like, you have to have this knowing inside of you. But you also have to like have this thing like you walk in the room and I'm like I'm her, I don't give a fuck who's around, I'm her. That don't mean that you're not her either.

Speaker 2: 18:02

We can all be her, we can all, but just be you, you're, you, yeah you gotta have that or you're not gonna be successful, and that's why I feel about, like when I was, um, uh, deciding what I wanted my show to be about it was definitely about black women specifically Because you know, like in many conversations that we have or in different groups, we're having the same conversation, maybe different experiences, but the underlining is the same experiences. And like I met these two ladies at an event that you threw, you and Nadia that was so amazing. And it was literally one of my favorite events I've been to this year, and not necessarily because like you know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 18:40

I met you. Yeah, we all met each other there, and it was the energy like you talk about.

Speaker 2: 18:44

It was the energy. It was about being in spaces with like intentional and being around like-minded individuals like I, gained so much and came out with some great friendships and people that I, you know, like that, I definitely would want to talk and know more about. And so, just like I was, like, I definitely want to have you on the show, because that's what we're about. We're all here for a purpose. You have your own platform. You have your own platform and how we grow, you know, and we're talking about our transitioning to our blessings.

Speaker 2: 19:12

Right, there is a tribe that saying is real it takes a tribe. You cannot do it by yourself. You may think and you may want to do it by yourself, but literally you cannot, because you can't do all the jobs, you'll burn and you'll burn yourself that's why I say away from the people who tattoo self-made stuff.

Speaker 3: 19:29

I'm like self-made is fake. I think that's the silliest phrase, because it's not crazy because like first, because first of all you did not get here, but did you walk out?

Speaker 1: 19:38

like Kirikou out the belly walking and talking yeah you did, you know so you know, I'm so first of all, I'm so grateful. Thank you so much. I'm like yes what was the name of the?

Speaker 2: 19:50

event again. Nadege, I know you guys do it every year. Yes, it was a female empowerment. Did it have anything else? What's the specific title?

Speaker 1: 19:57

so uh, because woman empowerment is really what I exude today. You can see, you know, I can whistle, style and stuff. My stylist is a woman, my nails is a woman, my jeweler is a woman, my dentist is a woman, yeah my waist beads are women and, thanks to rihanna, my underwear too, chinese. I'm sorry for now, I don't know but it's her idea, yeah you feel. You feel me. So it's like I'm deep down into it, like I come from a lack of woman empowerment that brought lack of mother empowerment.

Speaker 1: 20:35

I grew up with a mother that was not like mentally here, just physically as a grown woman, mentally still as a young hurt woman so I grew up with a grown mother, sister. You can't have two captains in a boat, but you're my friend, but you're my mother, so it's like you grow up. I grew up very like, uh, surrounded by my cousin, my dad.

Speaker 1: 21:05

So it's like, it's very like, more like masculine yeah, it's like if you're two women, it's the hood okay, so it might just be a hole, so it it's like stay cool you know, but I like that.

Speaker 3: 21:19

you said the thing like when you go up around the lack of like that superwoman, feminine, divine, whatever, you have to shy away from it a little, but it took me to learn, to understand, to work on myself, to search.

Speaker 1: 21:32

Why am I behaving like this? Because I love my dad. I love him, but I did my work and you also can do his work. You don't see it?

Speaker 1: 21:40

I do, we human, I love you, but like, oh my god, but it's like you don't know better. But nowadays, ain't nobody got no excuses, because tell me why you got access to everything in less than two seconds, all kinds of AIs that can do anything with you. So you know what? Find the why you are feeling like the beast inside. And that's why I always connect it all the time and I will always connect it back to fitness, because it's like what you take in the gym is what you take outside. Some of my clients they're like I can't, no more, I can't, no more. I'm like okay, so this role? Like I can't no more, I can no more. I'm like okay, so this role, you can't have it. You can't no more. I'm putting the stuff in your perspective now. Would you just like not go because the line is long for the audition? Are you gonna sit down and wait? You're gonna sit down and wait, right? I?

Speaker 3: 22:30

need to go, I need to get in a jail, you know so it's like that same anger that sometimes we're gonna get angry.

Speaker 1: 22:37

You can turn up and a tiny bitty woman can throw up a whole house.

Speaker 2: 22:43

Use that same energy now I feel that I feel that I also believe in the aspect that's, like you know, the the same work hard, play hard, right. Like you know, we have our nights when we probably out a little later than we supposed to be.

Speaker 3: 22:56

Last night I was out Right.

Speaker 2: 22:58

And we got something to do in the morning. But I made a promise, and it was one of the things that I think was one of the best self-promises I made to myself was that no matter if I decide to party and I have an obligation, I have to make that obligation. There's times I rolled out of bed, you know, at 6 am, because I'm a 5 am 6 am waker upper, like I'm. That's, that's my time frame. I like to start before the sun's get up.

Speaker 2: 23:26

I can you know I don't have to rush out the way and it don't matter what time I go to bed, like it don't matter, because I feel like, in order to be able to enjoy, you also have a level of discipline that you have to do. You also have to get other stuff done, and I think where the disconnect is that people they either work too much or they party too much, and when there's a scale that's unbalanced, something's gonna fall.

Speaker 2: 23:49

So let's talk about, like balancing lives right, like we're talking about balancing your lives like that, that, that, that work, that work, what's called a work life balance. Right, we're all in our careers, we all have our platforms, but like, what do you guys do to? Like, like, how do you guys balance yourself? Like what do y'all do as far as um, when you feel like maybe work is too much and I'm I'm losing time with my family and friends, or like I'm doing too much here, but like something isn't getting done over here? Like how, what would you suggest? Or how do you guys go about like kind of making that scale?

Speaker 3: 24:24

yeah, balance is like actually one of my favorite words. I actually have the yin and yang tattooed on me because I feel like that's like the most important, one of the most important words for me. Um, I just I feel like I have learned over time. Everything is good in moderation, you know. So moderating things there's not, you know, if you want to go out, you want to be outside, okay, cool. Just make sure it's moderated and it's intentional, you know, um, I think intent helps with balance, because if you have some kind of intent behind what you're doing, it's easier to balance things.

Speaker 3: 24:59

But I just also know and actually heard somebody me and my brother sent like the same video to each other like the same day and it was talking about this guy and he was just like when you're striving for your goals, stuff ain't going to be balanced. It's just not possible to have this fully balanced life and you're trying to achieve some things. So I just feel like going back to just giving yourself grace and mercy, like I just give myself a lot of grace and a lot of mercy because at the end of the day, I'm a mom. No matter what time I go out, I gotta be up every morning, gotta wake my kid up, gotta, you know, just finish with the potty training situation itself gotta feed him breakfast, pack his lunch, take him to school, come home, go to work, work all day, do music stuff in between.

Speaker 3: 25:39

Once I'm done, pick him up, put him to bed after that, do whatever I need to do like I'm here. So it's just never gonna be like this utopia, um. But I think, yeah, just like understanding that it's never gonna be a utopia until you really get to that space where you feel like it can be like. Right now, the goal is to just run it up, um, so that I can get to that space where you feel like it can be Like. Right now, the goal is to just run it up, so that I can get to that space where I can hire these people to do these things, and then maybe I can balance something.

Speaker 2: 26:06

But right now, this is where we're at. Just assess where you're at. No, I feel you about the intent right, because, like so, you know we have our stages in life, right, and when you're younger you have less responsibility. So you can kind of lean this way.

Speaker 2: 26:21

Yeah, when you're getting older, you start to lean this way Because it was like okay, now I have to play on this. When you get to a point where you are clear minded and you really have goals and you have actually mapped those goals. Like Erica said, if you don't write it down, it ain't going to go in my life. I don't care about my phone texting notes. I have a journal.

Speaker 3: 26:42

I've had a journal since I was five years old.

Speaker 2: 26:43

I'm a journal kind of girl too. I have to write it down because I feel like once you put it in your mind and you put it through your body, then you know what to do. It flows through you. So, with that being said, said, it's a thing for me where it's like you know, you got to also choose with intent which one needs more priority. Right, because even though the balance can be 50, 50 here, but maybe for these three months this needs to be 85, 23, 30 for that period and then it can shift.

Speaker 2: 27:10

So I think that like identifying when, when something needs more attention is also a balance as well, and people want it to be like well, uh no, it's not always a tug of war. It's knowing what needs the most attention in this time period and having the wherewithal to know okay, that task got accomplished, now we can go back to you, because some people don't have that. It's like those workaholics that just shut everybody out in the world. They're not mentally healthy as well. You just like shut everybody out in the world, like they're not mentally healthy as well. You know you got two people that are partying all the time. They're not mentally healthy as well, because that scale has never been, you know, kind of like uh, what's the call? What do you call it? Uh, what's the word for it?

Speaker 3: 27:47

uh, I know what you're talking about it's uh recalibrate yeah, recalibrate it right.

Speaker 2: 27:52

The scale has never been recalibrated, so they haven't got a chance to figure out, like and that's when all the cloudiness and anxiety comes up, right, because your mind is like I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, so like for me, I think that, like identifying when certain things need more time than others and being able to come back is how I can, kind of like, keep myself level and I think people's opinions too kind of can play into it.

Speaker 3: 28:17

Um, I know I told my mom the other day she was just like I think you're just doing a lot right now, anaya, like you're just you're doing too much, and I said, mom, it's finna get worse, okay this is just the beginning.

Speaker 3: 28:28

This shit is so just watch and see, but a lot of people don't take them risk, and I love my mom with everything in me, that's my best friend but she also also didn't. I'm doing a lot, and I think there's a lot of people right now doing a lot, which is beautiful, but that's going to look different to everybody and it's going to look different to people that aren't doing a lot, which is okay if that's your life, but it's just like these things have to get done.

Speaker 1: 29:03

And I just think like kind of shutting out people's opinions of what they think your shit should look like helps you? I don't know. For me it does, because I'm just gonna jump on this one, and the thing I love to say is you gotta be the change that you want to see. It's that simple people sometimes are like oh my god, the world, the world, the world. Yeah, the world can be utopia. It's really not that complicated.

Speaker 2: 29:18

It's like it can.

Speaker 1: 29:21

It, can it literally, can it, can. You got to be the change that you want to see. So you want to see better men in this place. Guess, who brought the men? Not the bird, not the damn lettuce. They don't fell from the sky and they still not be made by the machine. So woman, okay, fell from the sky and this will not be made by the machine.

Speaker 2: 29:41

So woman, okay, well, okay. So I like to talk about. You know, we all have three different platforms right, you're in music. You're in fitness, I'm in broadcasting and also music as well. Um, what, what do we like? At least that be the change that you want to be right. What do you think that you want to do? That you want to see change that you want to see change that?

Speaker 1: 29:58

you want to be, whoever you need to be.

Speaker 2: 30:00

Do it, say it and come see me. How have you guys been using your platforms to exude that message that you guys have been, you know, talking about?

Speaker 3: 30:12

um, I just think with everything in my body, like when I walk into a room, you're going to feel the energy. I'm going to give you a hug, I'm going to look you in the eyes, I'm going to speak to everybody. That's little stuff, you know what I'm saying. Like with my son. My son says affirmations. He's four, he's a black man. I kiss my son, I hug him and kiss him all day, tell him I love him a million times a day.

Speaker 3: 30:34

He ain't finna have that void, because a lot of these men out here their mamas didn't hug them and now they got a void and they looking for that in women that they're not finna find. So that's the change, because I'm doing that with my black son. You know what I'm saying? Um, it's just little stuff, you know. Like even talking about stuff that I do when I do my little videos, or I'm talking about motivational things, like I just think that the world, we're all very similar and people want to be so different, so bad. Like, yeah, we're different, but we're all very similar and we all really go through a lot.

Speaker 3: 31:04

We're human, everybody's going through the human experience so I just think being transparent allows us and that's why we have these gifts like fitness and music and broadcasting. These gifts are not our purpose, they're tools. Our purpose is to change the world based off of the things we do. So I just think, being the best version of ourselves, that's what has these younger girls and you know me too like I'm a grown woman. You know I enjoy myself. Clearly, I got a job.

Speaker 2: 31:32

You know, but I'm not that thing not no more you know, not, no more. We're cool we good.

Speaker 3: 31:40

But I just say too, like I can be sensual and I can be my, I can be a grown woman, but I can also be intentional. It's a great word about what I say and how I say it. Because there are younger people watching. That don't mean I can't be me Right.

Speaker 2: 31:58

you don't mean that you can't say what you want to say.

Speaker 3: 31:59

I can be me, but it's ways to do it. I got a 10-year-old niece that's my girl and she looks. She sees you ain't finna be catching me. Come on, it's only going to go so far, that's all I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 32:23

Read between the name.

Speaker 3: 32:24

I was like what were you going?

Speaker 1: 32:25

to say oh my God, the Jamaican singer.

Speaker 2: 32:30

Rihanna Shinsie.

Speaker 1: 32:32

No, no, no, From back in the day, wizard of the Galaxy.

Speaker 3: 32:35

Bob Marley how.

Speaker 1: 32:36

I just forget his name. Okay, this is the thing I'm getting on social. I'm saying she's not a woman Is?

Speaker 3: 32:41

it Shinzi. How do you say it so, bob Marley, shinzia.

Speaker 1: 32:44

Shinzia Shinzia, oh, I love her, but no, bob Marley. So Bob Marley was and if you look for like, the bigger the name, the bigger the touch on the people, the more. It's just like these people have been taking bullets, taking assault, taking like the people being the opinion, being against, you being a target.

Speaker 3: 33:14

That's what this is putting yourself on a platform, here we go On the chopping block. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1: 33:19

And just for the great of it all To be like listen.

Speaker 2: 33:24

Hey, because somebody got to do it Like you said we got to play the role now, everybody has come and not everybody's chosen right.

Speaker 1: 33:31

And the thing is like, it's not even that hard.

Speaker 2: 33:33

Everybody can do it, you just gotta want it but also, too, you gotta want it, but also be fearless about it, because that's the tough part yeah keeps a lot of people and that's why we go to the gym and that's why we got to the gym.

Speaker 3: 33:47

So we get fearless, so you just feel it.

Speaker 2: 33:53

I need to get in there, okay, okay, well you know I enjoyed having this conversation with you guys, because I do believe that, like you know, recognizing your blessings, transitioning into them and doing whatever you can to the best of your ability to not block your blessings, because we can do that. Whether it's listening to other people's opinion, like it's so funny because in me moving, like it was kind of an abrupt, abrupt, like I just woke up one day, it's like I'm moving, yeah, so like I've had people calling me what are you doing, are you? My aunt is like call me and it's just certain people that I will not talk to right now and it's, yeah, I just won't do it and it's nothing against them. It's that like I've made a decision and I and I'm aware that there are certain people out of concern or out of love Well, Ashley, I don't really question or out of their fear.

Speaker 2: 34:43

Well, I see so many questions or try those like. I was like and I was talking to my uncle, I was just like I Don't want to answer anybody's questions. I want a friend of his sent me a message. It was like she asked me well, what's your intention? I'm like lady. I had a like and kept it pushing. She told my uncle. She was like yeah, I asked her these questions and she didn't even reply. She just hit a like I said because I'm not in a season of answering anybody's questions right now.

Speaker 2: 35:07

You know, because I have a goal that I'm trying to reach and I do believe that who you speak your dreams to, who you tell your plans to, can definitely take you off of your path. So when you are, when you have conviction about something you need to do, I'm not saying hold it, I'm not saying that you don't need to, but be intentional who you speak these words to, because that one person that you love and have so much respect for can really throw you off your game. Very true.

Speaker 1: 35:34

Unknowingly, honey, you want me to talk to you about it, honey somebody who just like took me down the stairs. But yeah, that's, very true, it's so real, but once again, it's just like it's a little loop. It goes around. Because why? Because of your insecurity, of your fear of your not loving yourself to the fullest, not being the beast again, a version of yourself. Sometimes it's like it's just so simple. It's just like you got to find that beast inside. Yeah, you got to go, you got to puck. It's not fun.

Speaker 1: 36:15

You gotta go. You gotta puck. It's not fun. You gotta a little bit. You gotta growl back.

Speaker 3: 36:22

Oh my get that growl back, Get the growl back, but she riled about this one.

Speaker 1: 36:27

You gotta just jump on it, it's like you know, like the movie Avatar, like you gotta go pluck that shit, because if you don't, do that, you're gonna go left anyway.

Speaker 3: 36:42

No disrespect.

Speaker 1: 36:42

No, you're gonna be projecting, you're gonna be projecting on everybody what you think is going on. Because of trauma, because you don't want to stop break the generational curse, they won't talk about it. They think it's money, it's energy. Y'all see me energy, all right well there you go.

Speaker 2: 37:00

Well, thank y'all for so much for coming and talking to me the things that I like to do. I always, at the end of my show, like to leave a message. Um. So, whether you want to leave it to your younger self or the people out there in the world, um, what would you say to them when it comes down to like really protecting your peace, not blocking your, your blessings, and transitioning into your blessing in your highest form?

Speaker 3: 37:25

I would say to my younger self and to everybody give yourself grace, be honest with yourself and just understand that we have one life and, yeah, mistakes can be fixed, but the goal is to grow and to minimize those and then just be transparent. I think the more we share with other people, not only do we fulfill others, but that fulfills ourselves. So just give yourself grace and if you're a young woman watching this, focus on your shit and boss up and I don't want to say these niggas, but these men, they're going to be here, they're going to be here.

Speaker 1: 38:01

They ain't going nowhere. And please, men, y'all too, go focus and men y'all focus on y'all self too. These ladies, they ain't going nowhere.

Speaker 3: 38:11

They're always going to be, here, Is it the?

Speaker 1: 38:13

ratio that it's like more men to women?

Speaker 3: 38:15

I don't know. It changes every year. It's four for one.

Speaker 2: 38:18

for what I heard, it changes every year Because, like one year, it's all girls is being born, and then the next year it's all boys being born. I don't fluctuate. How about you, nadia? What would you say to the people?

Speaker 1: 38:28

I would say to the people you know how we are like, so gentle and so nurturing, when the baby come out, you're the baby, so you got to be nurturing your energy. The energy of you is the baby, so you got to be nurturing of the baby.

Speaker 2: 38:45

I like where you went with. That I know because I was like I said baby.

Speaker 3: 38:48

And then I was like okay, okay, okay, you brought that back around.

Speaker 2: 38:51

She took it she took it, she took it, she took it. I was like okay, so we the babies, we the babies, we the mamas of ourselves.

Speaker 1: 38:58

Yeah, you're the energy. Now you're present, you have your ancestor, you're going to become ancestor. What kind of ancestor do you want to be?

Speaker 3: 39:09

No, I was just going to say that you're such a blessing and I really appreciate you. I know we just met not that long ago, but your energy is crazy. You are a beautiful black woman, yes, and I'm just, I'm proud of you, I support you and oh thank you.

Speaker 2: 39:22

I appreciate it and I know that.

Speaker 1: 39:23

They don't say it often and mothers feel very like Left out. You are seen.

Speaker 2: 39:27

You are seen. Thank you, guys. Mommies, you got an important job Raising our black boys. What you got just human, the whole thing, is crazy. So keep that part.

Speaker 1: 39:38

I said we love you we love you and I appreciate and see.

Speaker 2: 39:42

That's why these events are here for that's why I do what I do, so we can exactly connect.

Speaker 1: 39:48

I love it well y'all again.

Speaker 2: 39:51

Thank you, anaya for coming on the show. Thank you for having having me. Thank you, nadège. If you guys want to join in the conversation, you guys, any questions for these lovely ladies? You can look them up on their own platforms. They always got some great things to say. Their energy is tight. Please don't hesitate to like, subscribe, share, do all the things and that's it. That's all. That's it. That's all. That's it. That's all is written by me, casey Carnage, and produced by myself and Rick Barrio-Dill. Associate producer Brie Corey. Assistant producer Larissa Donahoe, audio and video engineering and studio facilities provided by Slap Studios LA, with distribution through our collective for social progress and cultural expression, slap the Network. If you have any ideas for a show you want to hear or see, please email us at info at slapthepowercom and, as always, go to dazitdassallcom and sign up there to make sure you will never miss a thing. See you next show.