Episode 40: Kristin Gravatt on Embracing Motherhood, Navigating Treatment, and Celebrating Survival

In this episode, my friend Kristin Gravatt sat down to recount her battles and triumphs as a stage 3B breast cancer survivor by peeling back the layers of her experience, balancing the demands of motherhood with the rigorous demands of cancer treatment. Kristin's journey is a testament to the strength found in vulnerability, and her candid recollections provide a beacon of hope for anyone navigating the stormy seas of a similar diagnosis. Revel in our celebration of life's brighter moments and the unyielding spirit that propels us forward, despite the shadows of our past struggles.

Our conversation navigates the intricate journey from diagnosis to recovery, highlighting the pivotal moments that define a survivor's path. We delve into the depths of breast reconstruction, with a focus on the transformative DIEP flap procedure, to underscore the importance of patience, resilience, and the right healthcare dynamics. .

Contact Kristin:
Kristinannegravatt@gmail.com 

Kristin on Facebook 

Resources:
Information on Lymphedema

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Where to find Jamie:
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Jamie Vaughn in the News!

Thanks for listening!
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I am not a doctor and not all information in this podcast comes from qualified healthcare providers, therefore may not constitute medical advice. For personalized medical advice, you should reach out to one of the qualified healthcare providers interviewed on this podcast and/or seek medical advice from your own providers .

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to season two of Test those Breasts podcast. I am your host, jamie Vaughn. I am really excited to continue this journey and mission into 2024 to help shorten the overwhelming learning curve for those who are newly diagnosed, or yet to be diagnosed, with breast cancer. It has been such an honor and a privilege to be able to connect and interview many survivors, thrivers, caregivers, oncologists, surgeons, nurses, therapists, advocates and more, in order to provide much needed holistic guidance for our breast cancer community. Breast cancer has become such an epidemic, so the more empowered we are, the better. By listening, rating, reviewing and sharing this podcast, it truly does help bring in more listeners from all over the world. I appreciate your help in spreading this knowledge. My episodes are released weekly on Apple, spotify and other platforms and YouTube. Now let's listen to this next episode of Test those Breasts. Hey, well, welcome back everyone.

Speaker 1: 1:08

Welcome back to this episode of Test those Breasts and it is season two, and I'm so excited that I have a friend of mine that I've actually met in person. It's a crazy story and we'll explain it, but her name is Kristin Gravat and I. Kristin was actually diagnosed at age 38 with stage 3B invasive ductal carcinoma with a rare T4B tumor. She thrived throughout 16 rounds of chemo and 30 rounds of radiation, and after her mastectomy and radiation she was left with the choice of delayed reconstruction. She was able to research and find the best flap procedure for her personal needs at the Center for Restorative Breast Surgery in New Orleans. Hello, kristin, it's so good to see you and hear you. I wish I can give you a hug, but at least without one you don't need to plug in.

Speaker 1: 2:04

Hey, we will see each other again. This is such a crazy story. As you know, and as a lot of breast cancer survivors know, it is the sisterhood of all sisterhoods and I, as long as you as well as you, have met so many women and men women, though, in particular like it's a sisterhood on support groups, such as the New Orleans Support Group and other deep flap surgery support groups, and I just remember you know your name and it popping up and all of us conversing with you, which actually brought you to New Orleans, and, interestingly enough, I had my stage excuse me, I had my phase two deep flap surgery on the exact same day that you were having your phase one surgery and we came in there. You were there with your parents and I was there with my husband, and you turned around and like, oh my God, it's you, and so we've actually met.

Speaker 1: 3:09

It's not every day that we meet our sisters in person, so I'm just so grateful that I got to meet you and another one of my sisters that I've known for a whole entire year. She was in the hospital having surgery as well, and so that was really fun. I am so pleased that you're here to tell your story because it's a really interesting one and I know that it's going to add so much value to our show. So with that, I would love for you to kind of share first who was Kristen before breast cancer, before all of this, yeah, so you know, kristen was my husband.

Speaker 2: 3:53

I had recently just sold our sanitation company. We worked years to build it up and we sold. It was really stressful, but after that it was like it felt like a long stage of Disney World. We were just so happy and elated. Everything was, you know, in life at our time, for our age especially, we're just living at their Cinderella storytale. And then my husband landed a job with the Kansas City Chiefs and that's like his dream job.

Speaker 2: 4:18

And then basically after that everything just kind of started rolling with the cancer and my diagnosis. So I went from kind of living my best life to 38 with a second year old, with a second grader and a freshman with stage three B cancer, you know. So it was just. It was like a roller coaster slash into a world and I'm finally being able to be that Kristen Gravatt again. You know, slowly she's coming back out of the shell, but I was. I was the mom, the sports mom, doing it all, and I think that for me was a really hard pill to swallow when I did get sick is that. You know, you have to limit yourself and listen to your body.

Speaker 1: 5:01

You know that you do that procedure.

Speaker 2: 5:06

But yeah that's, and I wasn't working at the time and I feel like that was almost like God's grace because I didn't have the stress of, you know, trying to figure out how to get to appointments and chemo. You know as much as I had to go through. I didn't have that and I really feel like that was a calling from God that I wasn't working at a time and I'm able to work now, but at the time I wasn't.

Speaker 1: 5:29

Yeah, I can say probably the same thing. I had just retired from the school district and had a huge retirement party, as my audience knows. I, you know, was on top of the world. I feel like I was really busy, just like you were, before breast cancer and had this big old party. I was so excited we had, we had plans, man, we had lots of plans. My husband had already retired the year before, or that was his first year of retirement Before I went in and all of a sudden, breast cancer and it's like, right, okay, so same thing, I didn't have to go to work, right?

Speaker 1: 6:05

That's a big deal that is not something that you know. I mean, so many people have to go to work. Hey, before we move on, what are you doing on Sunday?

Speaker 2: 6:15

Oh, I am going to be watching the Super Bowl from home while my husband's attending it live, but I'm super excited for him and everybody, and I hope you're cheering for us as well on Sunday.

Speaker 1: 6:25

You know it's so funny because I've always been a 49ers fan, but I also am a Kansas City fan. We have a friend who lives there and so I we've seen this before and we've you know it's really hard to root for the person or the team and I at this point, because I liked both teams, I don't care who wins.

Speaker 2: 6:45

I'm just excited. As long as we're 50, I can handle 50-50.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Yeah, we can do that. It'll be an exciting game. So can you share with us? Then you have a complex story. Can you share with us what your diagnosis was a little bit further and also what your treatments were like?

Speaker 2: 7:03

Yeah, absolutely so.

Speaker 2: 7:04

When I was diagnosed, I originally thought that my tumor was from a heart monitor that I wore from an exercise class that I attended Monday to Friday, and it's a heart monitor sat on the left side, rubs about right there, but actually what it was was a tumor on the surface of my skin and then, once it other things, the skin started thickening and my nipple started to go in a little bit and was inverting.

Speaker 2: 7:32

That's when, immediately, I went to, I went to my DO and he said You're so young, it's going to take a long couple of weeks for a mammogram. You know a service? So I would like for you just to go to the local emergency room and tell them that you're having chest pain, so that you get the ball rolling, because I really feel like if I send you home, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. So I did that and that's um. They immediately gave me a chest x-ray right then and there, and they sent me over to an oncology group at the local hospital at that time and it was like I, from the time I was admitted into the emergency room to the time I had found out I was having going to have to go through lots of treatments was two and a half hours. That's how fast pathology worked for me because I'm so young.

Speaker 1: 8:25

You know it's really interesting. There are more and more younger women getting diagnosed with breast cancer and I'm really trying to spotlight that because I think it's so important. I just read some story of these two gals, who are best friends, and I really would like to have them on my podcast. They were 29 when they got diagnosed and they got diagnosed like within a month of each other.

Speaker 2: 8:49

And so my best friend is also 31 and she was diagnosed one month prior to me here, lives locally and we've really, you know, you could go to love for you to interview her too.

Speaker 1: 9:00

Oh, yeah, for sure, Right, yeah, I do think that's important. I want to go real back back real quickly about something I caught that you said your doctor sent you to ER and I remember someone telling me in the year that I had my breast cancer I had something else come up along called this really rare anemia and we couldn't figure out what it was and we needed to figure out something. Somebody told me that if you walk into the emergency room like even at UC, like in San Francisco, or that they actually do have they put together a team for you and it's quicker to do it that way.

Speaker 2: 9:40

I remember that too. There's a tumor board that is put together for you while you're there.

Speaker 1: 9:43

Yeah, Well, I'm really glad that your doctor did that. I feel like that was a saving grace for you right there. Oh, absolutely, kudos to that doctor. Okay, go ahead and continue.

Speaker 2: 9:55

Yeah. So stage 3b, I was ERPR positive, so estrogen and progesterone positive, her2 negatives. When you're a HER2 negative protein in your body, sometimes chemo does not work for you. In my case, I did not have a full response to chemo. However, it significantly shrunk that tumor.

Speaker 2: 10:15

But, with that being said, when I went in for my mastectomy they really had to take out a lot of skin. I was considered skin sparing but there wasn't. You know, you, as my friend, have seen pictures of my prior. But when I say they had to remove a lot of skin, they had to remove a lot of skin and that's why, basically, I ended up at New Orleans, because I was considered a complex reconstruction, because there is no way they could stretch anything out for an implant or you know, basically I had no other option but the deep flat procedure and I'm extremely grateful that I was kind of just forced into that. You know now, all said and done, but I don't think that's like a choice any woman should have to make, is like I only have one option, you know. But I'm very glad that my local breast surgeon told me this up front, because so many women don't know that until they get through the core process of it all and then they're like, oh my gosh, now I have to go this route.

Speaker 2: 11:17

This whole time I thought I was going to get expanders and immediate reconstruction.

Speaker 2: 11:20

You know where I mentally had time to prepare and I really think that helped me on my basically my research, because there is micro surgeons where I'm at, you know, at KU Medical Center, in places near, but those wait lists are so long for you to get in for the deep, flat procedure that it was like I didn't do it for the wait time but I did it for the sole purpose that these New Orleans doctors that's all they perform, all day, in and out, every day.

Speaker 2: 11:51

You know they that's all they do Is pioneered. They pioneered that there and that's why I felt more comfortable traveling to the center than do it, because so many people say why didn't you stay local? You live in the Kansas City Metro, you have so many options where you're at. I do have so many options where I'm at, but I also have options a little further down the road where these micro surgeons I consider platinum care and seeing what she was able to do for me with radiation 30 rounds of radiation on top of having this skin completely removed with the mastectomy, because the, you know, the T tumor that grew into the skin is amazing. I don't think any other place in the world would be able to do what they did for me.

Speaker 1: 12:36

And you had Dr Zafar.

Speaker 2: 12:39

Dr Zafar yes, Okay, yeah, I know after so many great things about her she is a beautiful person inside and out, and a piece of advice she gave to me that I'm very glad she did is. She looked at me because I said I feel great, you know, you're heavily medicated, you're on top of the world, you have a reconstructed body or you just feel great at right. After surgery at least I did I woke up like I'm refreshed, I'm a new woman, I can move on, I can start trying to live life as a survivor and not as a patient. And she said to me there's going to come a time where you're going to think to yourself why did I do this? Why did I do this to my body? Why did I choose this option out of all the reconstruction? Why am I in so much pain still? Why do I not feel right? And I told my mom and dad as I left. I said why did Dr Zafar say that to me? Because I feel great. And my mom said there's a reason.

Speaker 2: 13:29

Dr Zafar said that to you and you just don't know it yet. Well, you know, 10 days later and I'm sitting at home and excruciating pain every time I sneeze, cough, drink, you know, I thought to myself that's why she said that. But she said also the worth. The weight is worth it. Just wait it out. Give yourself three months waited out and I promise you are going to feel like, wow, I know why I did this. And then that still resonates with me to this day. I can hear her beautiful little Pakistan voice telling me just wait it out and you'll know. You know why you choose to do that and I love her and I give so much props to her. I could I don't know what I would do if I hadn't crossed paths with her. We need to get her.

Speaker 1: 14:12

She would be willing to take me on when some of the others weren't You're. You have her tech, you have her phone number, right? Yeah, you should text her and tell her she should be on the podcast Because I I'm really trying to highlight female surgeons, micro surgeons, and because I had Dr Cableing and I love Dr Cableing.

Speaker 2: 14:34

Yes, he was my assistant.

Speaker 1: 14:36

He's oh I mean so you like had the major dream team. I had Dr Right and Dr Cableing for phase one and that was the dream team too, and it's so important to know your team and how they work with each other. That makes an enormous difference and I like that you that Dr Safar said that to you, because one of the reasons that I ended up going to New Orleans I was just told I wasn't on any support groups or anything like that. I three little birdies told me separate birdies told me that they had a friend that went, or my sister-in-law went, to this place and had the CD flap and things like that.

Speaker 1: 15:20

And so I'm the one that sort of jumped in and started doing the research and one of the things that I heard over and over again was that the center is really good with holistic healing. It's not you just go in, you do your surgery and they kick you out. Usually these surgeries a lot of these surgeries are outpatient and that's not the center's philosophy. They keep you in for a couple of days. I was personally in there for three days and they took care of us, and my husband calls it a boutique hospital, you know. You get really good food and snacks and care and everything I know so good.

Speaker 1: 16:02

And so, dr Safar, that is one of the things that she did. Right, there was this piece of holistic healing for you, and she told you up front this is probably going to happen, and you need to understand that it's not forever. And she's right. You know, three, four months down the road I was feeling great after the D flap, and so I waited an entire year for my phase two, for a couple of different reasons, but anyway. So I'm so glad that she said that to you.

Speaker 2: 16:35

I think I need a preference that the reason she tell me that is going into the surgery. I have been already dealing with lymphedema. I had the full axillary node dissection so I had every single lymph node on my left side completely removed. So with that makes the surgery so much more complicated because you're going to have so much fluid that doesn't know what to do. So they actually were able to do some vascularized like lymph transfer, which basically is like a regeneration of the lymphatic system. I don't really know exactly what they connect or how they do it, but while they're in there for the D flap they also can do some vascular work to get your lymphatic system not to work the same as it did before.

Speaker 2: 17:21

But anything a little bit is. You know, when you're dealing with lymphedema you know it's an illness and it hurts and it comes and goes and it's lifelong and we just have to learn how to manage the pain. You know whether you're doing compression, sleeve garments, gloves. I do physical therapy weekly. I always have since the mastectomy. But what I'm going at is the center was able to somehow connect some things where I am in less pain now than I was before surgery.

Speaker 1: 18:01

And it's not, and all surgeons are not created equal, so there are things that you need to know about the surgeon. Has the surgeon? Is the surgeon number one a plastic and micro surgeon? Absolutely First and foremost. How many of these types of surgeries have they done? Is it something that they offer on their menu periodically, or is it something that they do all the time? And we know that Center for Restorative Breast Surgery only deals with these types of surgeries, and so I would highly recommend anyone to go there. You know, 100, 1000 times over.

Speaker 1: 18:39

I have uncovered a few other surgeons that are amazing that I've interviewed, and I think it's really important to be able to spotlight people all around the United States or wherever, so that people have these options, because there are other really great surgeons out there.

Speaker 1: 18:58

The center is just filled with amazing surgeons that do this every single day. So thank you for sharing that about lymphedema, because it is no joke and there are a lot of things that you cannot ever do again, like you know and I actually am in prevention mode so I have been told I can't get a tattoo on my left arm, especially because I had only I had only three removed from there, but I still can't do my big Phoenix tattoo on there that I really wanted to do, so I put it on the back of my neck instead. There you go. You're not supposed to get into super hot water and being too much heat and things like that. So I want to talk about the how we met and how those support groups on Facebook encouraged you and educated you and how you sort of were led to my podcast.

Speaker 2: 19:56

Yeah, well, my, I love your podcast. I sit and I scrolled right when you sent me your link. First of all, so much good information in that. But I think, with me having to do the 30 rounds of radiation and knowing that I had to do the flat procedure did help me a little bit. But really the Facebook page is where I said hey, I've had radiation. What are your other experiences, you know, with that? Because it makes like your skin is different, it's just different. It's tougher, it's thinner in areas you know it's hard to work with. The feedback I got made me so much more reassured that like, okay, they all did this, I can do this, all right.

Speaker 2: 20:38

And then my next post I made, where we really connected, was hey, I have an opportunity to travel over Christmas time, but I have to leave my 15-year-old and my eight-year-old on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I have the number one support system in the world and the best husband, but that's really hard to do as mom. And that's when you chimed in and I think maybe we even got into a personal message, when you're like, if you have the opportunity to do it and you're ready, you'll figure it out. And I think you are the one that said maybe it's good that you're away from your children they're on their Christmas, winter break and that way you could heal with your mom and dad for the full 10 days and focus on you and not looking around doing laundry that you shouldn't be doing because, you know, part of the biggest part for me of the healing was not doing anything. That's really hard and you have to do that or you will not get better.

Speaker 2: 21:27

And I think that's where we really connected is because you were kind of like big sistering me, like you can do this, you know, and if it wasn't for that page, we would have never known that we were surgery friends and that's an important reminder right now. A piece of advice I would give is to be selective on the pages you follow, because I was in like a deep lap group prior to this with, you know, 300,000 people in it and those procedures were not done by micro surgeons and it really some of it I could tell, just wasn't done by properly trained surgeons and it scared me a lot that I shouldn't have, shouldn't have fumbled on those pages because those weren't our doctors, you know. But I use some of those women's experience as like. I hope this doesn't happen to me. And when I joined the New Orleans very private you know about 1000 people. Everybody has been to that center or known somebody or a direct companion of the person there, and that's really when I started getting great advice, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1: 22:34

You know, it's really interesting because I was talking to a couple of my friends today who I interviewed early on Vanessa Vance and Kim Robinson and we're we're super good friends. We've never met in person, we talk on the phone, we we text every day. Kim and I are going to San Antonio in July to get our nipple tattoos with Perky and it's like we're making a girls trip out of it. We have a few people and I don't know. I think I talked to you about coming to.

Speaker 1: 23:04

I don't know if you're well, yeah, I mean that, I mean you if you go for phase two, you might want to wait, but nevertheless you are invited to our girls trip. You can come anyway and you can see the experience. But one of the things that we noticed was that the other Facebook groups, aside from New Orleans, are very different and, yes, you can tell that a lot of them have been given really bad advice, one being that you know getting mammograms after deep flap. We know that this is not something that you do and I. I didn't know that before, but there's a lot of misinformation out there, and just this morning we were following a conversation on one of the groups and there was a lot of misunderstandings on there and Kim texted me and said those girls on that group really need some help, and this is one of the reasons we tend to pop on there and give them links to certain episodes that we've done.

Speaker 1: 24:17

I've done and we also give give them the option of going into the New Orleans group to learn more, because we feel that that that particular group is so much more well informed than any other group. So if you ever are in a group like that I'm sure that you probably are like you know, you ought to look at New Orleans and or at least, and also the Facebook group, just because you know the, the, the information is just much more informed and a lot more quality to it, so it's and you and I both traveled to the center, you know, out of state and I, you know my drive is 11 and a half hours to get down there and I can say the extensive amount of care that they've given to me since I arrived home.

Speaker 2: 25:10

You know my weekly calls, my, when I had that postoperative wound that was needing to heal, how they managed me while I was in care of another physician. Just, they never once made me feel like I was alone, and especially being so far and there was no question that was too small to call. Oh, I mean, I was calling my, the PA, asking her all kinds of questions. Never once did she ask like I was. You know an annoying answer. Why are you calling me about that?

Speaker 2: 25:40

You know, how sometimes healthcare people can, you know, make you feel and I think that's really important to know that. If you are traveling, you know like I traveled from Kansas City to New Orleans. That's a long haul. Never once did I feel like they were that far when I needed them, you know, and the way that they intervened with the healthcare system when I was here getting treated for my wound was absolutely amazing. I never once had a talk. They did all of it for me. You know what I mean my doctors and doctors so far and they have your back. They are there to make sure that you are 100% healing and where you need to be, even though you're not there underneath their strict eye. You know you could do tele there's all kinds of other options that you can connect with them but they never once made me feel like, because I left, that I didn't get the same care as somebody that was able to go into their office every week. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 26:35

Yeah, and I felt the same. Yeah, I felt the same, awesome. So I had a wound and Dr Cabling's PA was really really really good with me and she it was just a wound I mean, it's something that happens with these kinds of surgeries. It wasn't infected or anything like that and she put me on an antibiotic and I had to get a gel and it cleared right up and so I and they never made me feel like I was being in pain in the ass or anything- like that Exactly or mine was a little more like my wound actually did get a little staff infection, which we all have staff infection on our bodies and our staff, you know, and it wasn't like it was what I had to get a culture.

Speaker 2: 27:18

But one thing I really really also think is great of them is when I did call them and say hey, I have a fever of 101.2. You know what they said to me Need to go in. You need to go in and you need to get checked out, because a low grade fever is pretty normal for about 30 days after post-op. But when you have something like that and we're not there to surveillance it, I want you to go in and get it checked out, and I'm very glad I did because I was able to get on, you know, a pretty extensive antibiotic regimen that cleared it all up within two weeks. But what if they would have said You're okay, you know, wait it out a little bit. You know something like that. Or you know their transparency was awesome is what I'm getting at.

Speaker 1: 28:01

They wanted what was best for me and right and they take things very seriously.

Speaker 2: 28:05

They oh, extremely. They're very timely to everything. Anytime any coordinator said they were going to call me or I was going to have any type of you know, a telephone interview or virtual interview, they were never skipped a beat. You know like, I just feel like the whole thing was pretty seamless for me, from start to finish with the center.

Speaker 1: 28:28

Okay, so I, how are you doing today? How are you doing?

Speaker 2: 28:33

now I feel great. I mean, I feel complete and restored and I feel like a woman again and I have confidence and I actually wore a pretty awesome bodycon dress recently and I feel good. I think some people don't realize that deep flap is where they cut a flap out of certain areas of your body. Mine was on from hip to hip on my abdomen, and then they create a breast out of natural tissue. So we're you can. You know, some people do hybrid things like that, but I think people just to have sensation in your breast, you know, and be able to touch it and it be warm, to see veins going through it, to be able to see your heartbeat, you know it's. It's such an amazing thing and sometimes I just I can't believe that science is so real, that that that's how they created, you know, my complete, my body. Do you ever feel like?

Speaker 1: 29:30

that yeah, because I never even knew it existed.

Speaker 1: 29:33

When I when I found out I had to have a mastectomy, I all I knew was implants. That's all I knew. And, and you know the deep flap or any kind of autologous surgery I don't. They don't do that here in Reno and some of the plastic surgeons might have it on their menu of certain autologous surgeries, but it's not something that they specialize in.

Speaker 1: 29:55

So I had the wherewithal to understand that that is not the surgeon I want to go to. You know, I wanted to go to the best of the best and I literally had to talk my husband. I had to talk my husband into trusting me as a person who does a lot of research and I wouldn't just go to any old back alley, butchered, you know, because he was really concerned, he had never heard of it before and I finally had to tell him, first of all, this is my body and I get to do what I want to do with my body, and you know me well enough that I would never go to someone that would, you know, screw me up or anything like that. I've talked to a lot of people and I think that that just sort of came out of fear for him.

Speaker 2: 30:43

My father was the same way. My husband like you know, he's a he did all of his investigation and all that on his own. He was like I mean, this is the platinum services for the surgery. My dad, who traveled with me, and my mom, my mom Deb, married for 43 years. He was nervous the whole entire time. Ask me those same questions. You know, how'd you get in connection with this place? Well, dad, it was a referral from other physicians, things like that, and I think, like you're saying, I think that's just natural for anybody, and even people back here at home. First thing they asked me is why'd you choose to travel for your operation? Well, because I wanted the best of the best and they were in my network and I couldn't be happier with my results. And, as long as it and hard as the recovery is, I have never felt better about my body and I cannot believe I could say that I love that.

Speaker 1: 31:37

I love that.

Speaker 2: 31:38

I know, and we've been so much in a year, you know, like 12 rounds of chemo, a mastectomy, a revision of my mastectomy, 30 rounds of radiation.

Speaker 2: 31:50

Then I had the delayed reconstruction, so then December 20, I you know it's just when I had my first phase one, that's a lot from January to December and yeah, yeah, I feel like being able to move forward and be a survivor and not a patient at the moment is such a blessing for me and my entire family, and I don't think I would know I would not be here right now, with even close to be thinking about the start of the reconstruction process, if it wasn't for the center.

Speaker 1: 32:24

Yeah, and you've probably never, and you probably never showed your boobs so much to other women.

Speaker 2: 32:29

Oh my gosh. I'm so proud of those. I know it's like my sisters. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1: 32:37

I know it's like I told my husband I'm like, yeah, I'm just, you know, sending my breasts over to Kristen or you know whatever, because it's very fascinating. It's fascinating to watch, you know, from the very beginning, when you get finished with surgery, and then one week, two weeks, three weeks, and, you know, three months, look how great my breasts look. And some people might think that that's kind of weird, but it's. It's fascinating what they can do.

Speaker 1: 33:07

And when I found out I had to have a mastectomy, I was freaking devastated. I really mourned the loss of my breasts before they even were gone and I was only told that I needed to do one. But I ended up doing both just because I wanted to. You know, try not to try not to get it again, but you never know. But it's fascinating that they can actually take those veins and reconnect. And there are surgeons who are really good at restoring sensation in the rest of your breast, you know, and nipples and things like that.

Speaker 1: 33:48

And so for us to be able to talk about it out loud is really important, because I know there are conversations that I've had with other people about you know, generations before us, it just wasn't talked about. You don't talk about your vagina. You don't talk about your breasts, you don't talk about cancer. It was always just so hush hush and I love the fact that our sisterhood, you know, we're able to talk about it openly and and make it real and make it and normalize it, because you know, let's face it, so many people are being diagnosed with breast cancer and we need to get it out there. We need to help shorten the learning curve for other people, right? So that's kind of my next question for you is you know what kind of what is one of the biggest pieces of advice you would give to somebody? Let's start with, give to somebody who has yet to be even diagnosed.

Speaker 2: 34:47

Yeah, to be diagnosed. Really and I know this sounds so cliche it's just right foot, left foot, because in the beginning you have so much thrown at you and you know you're on autopilot and you're not really absorbing. Nothing's really resonating yet. I just think you just kind of have to find peace in the storm before you could really focus on fixing the problem. You know, don't go with the first piece of advice thrown at you, don't? You know, keep all of your options open when it comes to choosing an oncologist, a cancer center, choosing a breast surgeon.

Speaker 2: 35:23

You know there are multiple options for you and you just have to find out the best one for you, not the best one for Sally or Tim, or you know so, and so is Grandma that got breast cancer. You know you're going to have all the advice thrown at you, the unsolicited advice, but what you have to do is find out what's best for you, and that's hard to say, as you just find out you have cancer. All you think is I'm losing my hair, losing my breast. You know those are those feelings that are natural for comforts of the woman. But, most importantly, our healthcare system is so big that you have so many options and I think that's really important is to find personalized care that is best for you and only you, right?

Speaker 1: 36:02

One of the really cool pieces of advice my breast surgeon here in Reno gave me at the very beginning, because I had so many things thrown at me from, you know, different opinions, from different people, and it scared me and this is before I even started chemo and I was just in such a horrible place, like you know that place right, and she told me that when you put it out there because I put it out there like I announced it to everyone, I, because that's how I process, that's how it's how I do things.

Speaker 2: 36:32

I think transclerosis is great yeah it's how I roll.

Speaker 1: 36:37

She told me when you put things out there like that, you're going to get a lot of unsolicited advice and the biggest thing you need to learn how to do is to filter, filter. There's some people who go underground into monk mode and they don't say anything and don't do anything, but there are people who do put it out there and you have to filter, and that was really truly one of the best pieces of advice that she could have given me and so so that. So the advice you you just talked about, or you know people who had just been diagnosed, and that's such great advice. There are so many options. I think an intuition plays a huge role in that as well, and that intuition will lead you to the right decision and the right team and the right you know resources and so forth.

Speaker 1: 37:29

I started this podcast because I really want people to be educated before they're even diagnosed. I wish I would have known so many things and I know we can't know everything until it happens to us, right, but I feel like there's a way to at least give that education information to people who've never even been diagnosed. I know that people have reached out to me and said hey, jamie, thank you for doing that episode on your podcast about mammograms. Just because I'm younger, I can't get a mammogram. And I actually called my doctor for the first time and said I want a mammogram. And I was able to get in and get one or whatever ultrasounds, scan, whatever any tech kind of test right. What kind of advice would you give to someone who is just sort of sitting on the sideline and they know people with breast cancer but they've never even had it before? Is there any kind of advice that you would give to them to prepare them for maybe someday them actually being diagnosed?

Speaker 2: 38:37

Yeah, Earlier, you struck a chord when you said intuition. I really think, looking back, I was having some striking pains in my chest which were developed before lump things like that. Just be very, very proactive with your body. Early detection saves lives. Some people get upset when they hear that because by the time they found out about it, some of our metastatic and it's horrible. But when it comes down to that's the truth. If you're skipping on mammograms at 40 and older as soon as you hit that age point, even earlier, if you're feeling anything is off, go in, Go in.

Speaker 2: 39:16

The only advice I could have for somebody that possibly is sitting on their teetering or doesn't know or wants to educate themselves is just to be proactive with your body. Self-examples If I would have not thought, hey, I think this is a rash from my breast heart monitor, I thought, oh my gosh, maybe this is some type of rare breast cancer on my skin. Maybe would I have been a stage two then and not a stage three. Sometimes that runs through my mind and I don't want anybody to live with any type of breast cancer guilt because it happens really quick. You know that from the time it happens it's a very quick process.

Speaker 1: 39:54

Yeah, I wish I would have. Yeah, because I felt a lump all that spring before, but I always felt lumps. I had lumpy breast.

Speaker 1: 40:04

I had dense breast tissue. I knew that I was going to go get my mammogram at some point soon, but every once in a while I'd feel those burning sensations, little zingers and things like that, and I'd be like whoa, what's that? And when I did make my appointment for the mammogram, they asked me do you have a lump? Did you feel anything? I'm like nah, nah, no. And they said okay, we'll see you in three weeks. And I hung up the phone and my husband's like that's not true. Thank goodness he was sitting right there and heard me and I hung up the phone. He goes that's not true, you do feel a lump. And I felt the lump and I'm like you're right, what the fuck was I thinking? That's really what I said to myself and I can say that because this is explicit. So anyway, I was like yeah. So I picked the phone back up and I said, yeah, that's not true. I actually do feel a lump and it does feel different. And I have felt sensations and they're like oh, okay, well, that changes things. We're going to move it up three weeks. Can you come in this Tuesday? I'm like yeah. I'm like okay, I'm going to do it.

Speaker 1: 41:10

So good thing I did, otherwise I would have been waiting for another three weeks. And so, intuition, listen to your body. I love that, kristen. It's so important for people who've never even been diagnosed. We're knowing that one in eight women get breast cancer at some time in their lifetime, and it's getting younger and younger. You 38, you weren't, I mean. That was probably the last thing that was on your mind.

Speaker 2: 41:36

Right, and I've had with the dense breasts, like fibrosis, thick breasts is kind of like what I had in the past. You know I was also a gymnast, so I always had like dense breasts and kind of, you know, nodular breasts, I guess you can say so, like the lump thing that you're talking about. You know, but in your gut, your gut kind of you felt it. When you felt that lump, did you not Like I felt my skin toughening right there? I felt it in my gut and that's kind of going along the intuition thing If your heart's feeling funny, follow it. You know, go, go, go get it. Be proactive and go get whatever you need to get checked out and not just in your breasts, all over your body you know, all over your body.

Speaker 1: 42:12

Yes, and I, you know, I. I know that I'm probably the same as a ton of other people. I was really busy. I was super excited about retiring from the school district. I was running around, I had another podcast. I was building a coaching business for educators. I had be that teacher podcast it's still out there 11 episodes. That was going to be my retirement. I was busy, busy, busy and I was so excited that I'm like, oh, you know, I would just sort of ignore it, but I knew, I knew something was going on. So thank you for that advice. I'm really, I'm really really grateful that you are one of my sisters. It sucks how it happened, but at the same time, I feel like my life is so much more enriched having people like you in my life and that we can have these very, very frank conversations about breast cancer and normalizing what happens and helping other people. So is there anything else you would like to add before we wrap up?

Speaker 2: 43:17

No, I mean, I would have loved to meet you organically somewhere on our own terms, but I, meeting you at the center with no makeup on at six am or whatever, was even better. And I, you know, I always kind of think of Godwings and I know that us being there at the same time and being operated on and our family sitting in that. In that, you know, holding the area together is just it was kind of meant to be. You know, and, like I said, silver lining of cancer is you get people out of it and you also get better mindset, and I think you're one of those people.

Speaker 1: 43:49

For me, I think so too, and thank you, and you know that our hearts are more empathetic. I would imagine I've always been an empathetic person, but it really has made my heart very happy to have people like you in my life as well. So thank you very much, and go Kansas City on Sunday. Right now we are recording two days before the Super Bowl, and I will be thinking about you. I'll even text you and let you know that I'm thinking about you and I just you know. I can't even tell you which team I want to win, because they're both really awesome teams.

Speaker 2: 44:26

So they're both great tight ends. I'll say that much.

Speaker 1: 44:29

Oh yeah, Got to love those tight ends.

Speaker 2: 44:32

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 44:34

All right, kristen. Well, thank you very much for joining us and I will be talking to you soon and to my audience. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Test those Thrust and we will see you next time on the next episode. Bye for now, friends. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Test those Thrust. I hope you got some great much needed information that will help you with your journey. As always, I am open to guests to add value to my show, and I'm also open to being a guest on other podcasts where I can add value, so please reach out if you'd like to collaborate. My contact information is in the show notes and, as a reminder, rating, reviewing and sharing this podcast will truly help build a bigger audience all over the world. I thank you for your efforts. I look forward to sharing my next episode of Test those Thrust.