Episode 49: Breast Cancer Survivor, Dee Cloud's Insights on Health, Boundaries, & Reclaiming Life Post-Cancer

Join me, Jamie Vaughn, on a transformative journey with a woman whose battles with breast cancer rewrote her life's script, demonstrating that even in our darkest moments, we can emerge with purpose. My conversation with Dee is not just about her triumph over the disease but also the emotional odyssey that accompanies such a fight. We unpack the weight of a cancer diagnosis and how it can shift one's perspective from people-pleasing to authentic living. Our dialogue moves through the intimate corridors of stress management and the art of setting boundaries, valuable lessons I've learned and implemented in my own life post-diagnosis. It's an exploration of how peace and personal health can construct the blueprint for a life well-lived.

We toast to the Pink Sisterhood and the irreplaceable role of community support in recovery, leaving our listeners with a strong message: awareness and proactive health measures are vital. Whether you're navigating your own health journey, supporting a loved one, or championing breast health, this episode is an invitation to find beauty in the breakdown and strength in your story.

Contact Dee Cloud:
Dee Cloud on Facebook

Dee Cloud on Instagram

Dee Cloud on TikTok

Thriving On Purpose Podcast on YouTube

Resources:
Beauty in the Breakdown (Book)

 Dee's Favorite Salad Crisper

Are you loving the Test Those Breasts! Podcast? You can show your support by donating to the Test Those Breasts Nonprofit @ https://testthosebreasts.org/donate/

Where to find Jamie:
Instagram LinkedIn TikTok Test Those Breasts Facebook Group LinkTree
Jamie Vaughn in the News!

Thanks for listening!
I would appreciate your rating and review where you listen to podcasts!

I am not a doctor and not all information in this podcast comes from qualified healthcare providers, therefore may not constitute medical advice. For personalized medical advice, you should reach out to one of the qualified healthcare providers interviewed on this podcast and/or seek medical advice from your own providers .

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to Season 2 of Test those Breasts podcast. I am your host, jamie Vaughn. I am really excited to continue this journey and mission into 2024 to help shorten the overwhelming learning curve for those who are newly diagnosed, or yet to be diagnosed, with breast cancer. It has been such an honor and a privilege to be able to connect and interview many survivors, thrivers, caregivers, oncologists, surgeons, nurses, therapists, advocates and more, in order to provide much needed holistic guidance for our breast cancer community. Breast cancer has become such an epidemic, so the more empowered we are, the better. By listening, rating, reviewing and sharing this podcast, it truly does help bring in more listeners from all over the world. I appreciate your help in spreading this knowledge. My episodes are released weekly on Apple, spotify and other platforms. Now let's listen to this next episode of Test those Breasts. Listen to this next episode of Test those Breasts Today. I am so thrilled to have my new friend, dee Cloud, on my show.

Speaker 1: 1:12

Dee is a two-time breast cancer survivor, a wife, mother of two and breast cancer recovery strategist powerhouse. Dee has made it her life's mission to support, coach and help breast cancer survivors to live a fulfilling life free of fear and trauma that breast cancer has caused and instead provide survivors with the tools to help them find their true meaning, purpose and happiness. Dee promotes living a healthy, balanced, cancer-fighting lifestyle and strongly believes that every breast cancer survivor has it in them to live an even better life after surviving breast cancer, so they can make the rest of their lives the best of their lives. Dee is also an international transformational speaker, author and coach. Well, good morning everyone. Welcome back to this episode of Test those Breasts and welcome to my guest, dee Cloud, and we actually met on a Facebook private group for podcasters and we had a lovely conversation and got to know each other and realized we need to actually interview each other, because Dee actually has a podcast as well as well as many other things going on. So welcome to the show, dee. How are you doing?

Speaker 2: 2:24

Thank you so much for having me, jamie. I am fantastic and only going to get better. So hi everybody. Thank you guys for tuning in and listening. I'm happy to be here.

Speaker 1: 2:35

You know, I was just thinking after we got off our conversation from before I thought that, dee, she's awfully gorgeous, beautiful. You have a wonderful aura to you and you can tell that you are a wonderful human being. After I had the conversation with you and I love the fact that you and I are on a mission to support breast cancer patients and even educate people before they even get breast cancer. You've got a book, you're a speaker, you're all the things, and you are just someone I gravitate to, just because I learn a lot from you and hopefully we can all learn from each other to help this sisterhood that we never asked to be part of. But we just are right. You are a two-time breast cancer survivor and that's a big deal. But I want to kind of walk back a little bit before your breast cancer diagnosis both of them and, if you can just let our audience know, share who D Cloud was before breast cancer.

Speaker 2: 3:38

Oh, I love that question, jamie. I think I shared that with you before we got on who I was before breast cancer was scared. I was a scared individual who was afraid to live as my authentic self. I was a people pleaser who wanted to make sure that everyone else around me was well and happy. I was too worried about what society would have to say about me, right? So I was a mom, I was a wife, I was a legal assistant Of all those things. I was a people pleaser.

Speaker 1: 4:18

I remember when you told me that when we had our original conversation, and that really struck a chord with me. I've always been a people pleaser. I've always wanted to help everyone. I've always wanted to, you know, help them through their problems or just do the right thing. I was always wanting to make sure that my parents were proud of me. I wanted to make sure that I was sort of in the group, you know and being part of them. Yeah, you and I have a lot of parallels and I think that's why we connected so well. So I'm going to ask you later who D Cloud is now. But I would love to know, and I would love for you to share with our audience, what your first diagnosis was like, what happened, what were you feeling at the time and what were your treatments like?

Speaker 2: 5:05

So I was diagnosed in 2005 for the first time with stage two inductive carcinoma, and I never saw it as a death sentence for myself, right, I saw it more as a speed bump and, as a matter of fact, I remember telling my care team like, ok, y'all hurry up and do what y'all need to do, because I have things to do, you know. And so my treatment plan was I went through chemotherapy, a lung ectomy and then 12 rounds of radiation. I remember thinking during my first chemotherapy with I think it was Taxol, if I'm not mistaken, it was 2005. Give me some grace, but I remember thinking, oh, this is easy, this is nothing right, because nothing was happening to me other than I was losing my hair, which was not a big deal to me because I was already suffering from alopecia, so my hair was already leaving by the time I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was already wearing wigs, so that was not a big deal to me. My biggest concern was my kids and how they would handle it. I had a 14 year old and a five year old at the time, and so I was more concerned with how they would handle the diagnosis. So I remember feeling like I had to be strong for everyone else, knowing that everyone was watching how I was going to handle this and knowing that they were getting their cues from me. So as long as I was brave and strong and fierce and not worried and putting on a brave face and the whole nine then everybody else around me was fine.

Speaker 2: 6:51

And I remember I wanted to be so independent and so strong that I didn't allow people to really support me. I drove myself to my chemotherapy treatments. I went by myself. I was like, no, I don't need anybody to go with me, this is fine, it's not a big deal.

Speaker 2: 7:08

But then I remember one time when my chemotherapy treatment switched to FEC, the Red Devil, I got home on a wing and a prayer. I remember barely making it home because I felt so sick, and it was in that moment that I realized that there is no reward for suffering, that I was doing myself a disservice by not allowing people to be there for me. I was not used to being vulnerable and saying, hey, I need help. To me, being vulnerable at that time was a sign of weakness and it meant that I couldn't handle the task before me. So that was a learning experience for me and something that I learned during my first breast cancer diagnosis is that it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to allow people to be there to support you, and that you don't have to do this thing alone.

Speaker 1: 8:01

Yeah, so you started off still being that people pleaser D and strong D. I can do it all myself too. All right, I understand, I get it. Okay, I need to be able to do this.

Speaker 1: 8:15

I was really lucky when I was diagnosed. I had a lot of people tell me I know you like to do everything yourself, I know that you're very independent, but you do need to let people take care of you. And I took that and I was like you know what, I'm going to go ahead and let them do that, and I did, and I will say that that was the best thing I could have done, because I had a tribe of women. My husband was a wonderful caregiver, but they all came over and they put a healing room for me together, decorated it really nicely. One of my friends brought me a little mini refrigerator to put in there, a little coffee maker and a humidifier and a fan, and my husband put up a fan, painted the room, put new shades in a TV, just for those times where I needed to go in there Just be, especially after the treatment.

Speaker 2: 9:03

So yeah.

Speaker 1: 9:05

I love the fact that you finally realized, after the red devil, you know, I mean all of it's just why did they even name it that? But I mean, I guess I know. But yeah, so going into your second breast cancer diagnosis, that must have been like, are you kidding me? What was the difference between your first one and the second one?

Speaker 2: 9:32

You're right To be fair. Just like with the first time, I found my lump myself. The second time I felt the lump again. So it was definitely a WTF moment.

Speaker 2: 9:45

But what changed for me is that I realized that during my first breast cancer diagnosis, just like I shared with you earlier, I did everything the professionals told me to do the doctors, the care team. I went through the surgery, the radiation, the chemotherapy. I did everything they told me to do, but I didn't do anything about the environment that had caused cancer in the first place. I went right back to not moving my body. I went right back to eating. The same way, I went right back to the same stressful situations. I don't judge anybody that does that, because going back to the familiar is easy. Change can be hard and scary, right, especially when we are faced with uncertainty and we don't know like the outcome of those changes is going to be. And so it was my nurse this time who got my attention and she said you know the you really have to reduce the stress in your life now, jamie. I don't know how she knew I was stressed, because I absolutely didn't tell her I wasn't sharing with anybody the secrets that I was holding inside. But she got my attention and I remember reading something one time that said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.

Speaker 2: 11:01

So I started reading about breast cancer and how I could help myself, and when she said I needed to reduce my stress, I knew that the biggest stressor for me was that I was hiding in plain sight. I was married to a wonderful man but I was not in love with him. I was actually in love with a woman and I was hiding my sexuality and I knew that it was time for me to stop hiding. So the first thing I did was finally get the courage to ask for a divorce. I finally got the courage to leave a very stressful job, even though it paid well, so that meant taking a pay cut after asking for a divorce. So there was a lot of uncertainty around that and I finally got the courage to come out and say hey, you know, this is who I am. Which was really hard for me because my mom was may she rest in peace a Bible-toting, scripture-quoting Christian right and I was really concerned about how that was going to affect my relationship with my mom, how my siblings were going to react, how it was going to affect my kids. So I had all of these stressors that were on me like, okay, I don't want to be ostracized for being who I am, but the reality was it did cause a chasm between me and my mom. I lost some friends me and my best friend we split up for about two years.

Speaker 2: 12:29

It was a really difficult time in my life, to the point where I even contemplated suicide, right Like death has to be better than being ostracized and judged and ridiculed and shamed and all the things right.

Speaker 2: 12:44

But it was my son who said to me mom, I just want you to be happy, and at the time I believe he was like 16 or 17. And getting that reassurance from my son that nothing had changed for him was the support that I needed. From that point forward, I just started to live my life for me. I just started to live my life for me, and what I will share with you, jamie, is that after that, once I started to live as my authentic self, it seemed like the blessings just started pouring in, right Like everything just started to fall into place and I realized that it was my duty to encourage others to live authentically. It was my duty to encourage women to know that not only can life be good after breast cancer, but it can be better than ever before, and so that's my mission to let ladies know that not only can life be good after breast cancer, but it can be freaking fantastic.

Speaker 1: 13:48

Yeah, I love that message. Yeah, so you have so many layers going on and that stress piece is huge. I know that I was pretty stressed before I got breast cancer and I'm very mindful about what I do now and who I spend my time with and decisions that I make and things like that. I love the fact and it's like, okay, why did it take breast cancer to make me be able to come out? And you know, talk about this secret. I've been keeping all these years and kudos to you for doing that. And it is hard to lose friends because of certain things. I mean, you know we have people who lose friends because of political ideologies and you know all these things and it's so heartbreaking and sad that people cannot accept you for who you are. So I'm assuming that you're very happy with this same person, the same way I am.

Speaker 2: 14:42

We have been married now 10 years, 10 and a half years and we've been in each other's lives for oh my gosh, I don't even know how long. Well, listen, my daughter is 24. So we've been in each other's lives for over 20 years. Treatment and all the things. She took such great care of me and I'm always saying, maybe that's why I fell in love with her, but she took such great care of me with changing the ports and the training bags and all those things. She really is my best friend, she's my life partner, she's my support system, she's my biggest advocate, she's my biggest fan. She is absolutely phenomenal and I'm happier than I've ever been and it is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.

Speaker 1: 15:40

I love that. Congratulations to both of you. I just really am so glad that you were able to lift that cloud, if you will, off of you, because that is just so heavy and that probably drove you nuts doing the things that you thought your mom would want you to do getting married and it probably drove her nuts because you both had this love for each other and I just love the fact that she was your caregiver, like that, and so you know that you would have a caregiver in her obviously now, and vice versa. That's such great support. So your second diagnosis was what year? I believe it was about 2008. Okay, 2008.

Speaker 2: 16:19

So it was very quickly after it, wasn't too far after it was very quickly after and I really feel like it was my divine tap on the shoulder, Like God tapped me on the shoulder and said okay, sweetheart, I don't think you understand. I'm trying to get your attention Right.

Speaker 1: 16:37

Yeah, how old were you in your first diagnosis? 35. 35. Okay, so like at that age. It's like we're not expecting to be doing that kind of stuff, right, you're not expecting to get breast cancer at that young age. I mean, I know that when I got breast cancer I was 54. So I'm 56 now. And at that point I was like, okay, you know, this is about the right time. You know, it's not like I didn't expect to get it, because I kind of had a feeling that I had a very good chance, even though I didn't have it in my family. But I had known so many people who had it and I remember hearing one of my friends say that her doctor said it's not a matter of if you're going to get it, it's a matter of when. Wow, I mean, we see so many breast cancer diagnoses every single day and it is insane and it's getting younger and younger.

Speaker 1: 17:24

But when you're in your twenties and thirties, you're not thinking about that stuff, you're not even thinking about mammograms at that time, right yeah? So it kind of makes sense D that you were like all right, so I got through that and now I can move on with my life. And then boom, and so, as you said, god tapped you on the shoulder and you're like hello, wake up. D Right. So what kind of breast cancer was that?

Speaker 2: 17:49

Interestingly enough, jamie, it came back in the exact same spot. I remember telling my doctors obviously you didn't get it all, but what I learned subsequently is that typically when you have a recurrence, it comes back in the exact same spot. I did not know that. It was a doctor, an oncologist, who educated me on that. And when we talk about I want to tap back into the stress thing because what I also just learned before research was uncertain about the effects of stress on your life and breast cancer, but now research shows that chemicals that circulate in our bodies as a response to stress can absolutely promote breast cancer. So it's important that we manage our stress and we manage it in a healthy way, because we're all going to have stressors. Right, life is going to life, life is going to do what it does and it's important that we have healthy outlets for our stress. So you can catch me in the gym five days a week, from 5am to 6.30am.

Speaker 1: 18:54

Well, good, I'm so glad you know I learned that pretty early on I had reached out to a guy named Eddie Ennever. He is out of Australia and he is a therapist but he's a three-time cancer survivor and he finally figured out you know at some point why he kept getting it back and one of his pieces is that he wasn't taking care of his mental health and all of that. He was focusing on the chemo and the meds and the cancer right. He was not focusing on why that was happening.

Speaker 1: 19:24

And so I reached out to him in the middle of the night one night because I was in such a deep, dark place in my head and I really was really scared that I wasn't, this wasn't going to turn out so well because of how I was feeling reached out to him and said, you know, told him who I was, and I said I'm, and I watched some of his videos and read some of his stuff and I asked him for his help. And he is the one who told me that you know, like Americans in general are in the business of busyness. We're all so busy all the time doing this, and that I mean, obviously, other people are around the world as well. But he also said that people needed to take care of their mental health and being able to manage that stress Because I know that I was very stressed before breast cancer.

Speaker 1: 20:11

And he says what happens? We all have cancer cells, right, but what it does is it creates this perfect storm is what he called it and makes it you more open to be struck with cancer. And so it's amazing what it takes for us to change the way that we eat, the way that we move our bodies, the way that we eat, the way that we move our bodies, the way that we deal with stressful situations. I would imagine you have some boundaries as well that you have created. I definitely have some boundaries that I've created with family members, with friends, with those kinds of things. So what kind of boundaries have you created because of these two diagnoses?

Speaker 2: 20:54

I think the biggest boundary for me now, Jamie, is really checking in with myself and not saying yes when I'd rather say no, and understanding that no is a complete sentence, that it doesn't have to come with an explanation. That's the biggest boundary that I think that I've set for myself. Not taking on other people's problems. You know, my phone used to ring incessantly with other people's issues and problems and I remember my wife saying to me that phone never stops ringing, saying to me that phone never stops ringing, Right, Because I was the go-to person for all of the drama in people's lives and so I stopped being that for people.

Speaker 2: 21:39

What I've found is that I have more peace and I value peace. That's the other is that I value peace above all things. If it's going to stress me out, I ask myself if it's necessary. Is it necessary for me to be involved in this situation, this thing? If it's causing me stress and if it's a necessary stressor, then I ask myself OK, so how can we move through this thing with the least amount of stress, with the least amount of stress? And the way I do that, Jamie, is by remembering that everything is working for my highest good and just really surrendering to Gus, God, the universe, the source, the spirit, whatever you call it. We're really surrendering to God and saying okay, I know that you're working this out for my highest good, Even though I can't see it right now, I'm willing to trust the process and see where this goes, and that alleviates a lot of stress for me.

Speaker 1: 22:33

Yeah, I feel like so many of us take on other people's problems and sometimes I think to myself sometimes we do that because of our problems, like if we can help other people and be that good person to other people, maybe my problems will get better. But you're also not addressing the problem, trying to fix things or whatever. But I just often wonder why so many people are so giving and open and always there for people and then sometimes it gets them in trouble. Like you have somebody come to you and say, oh, I am having trouble, my husband cheated on me and you are part of bringing that out into the public, and then it gets you in trouble with your friend and then you're no longer with your friends. That's happened to me before.

Speaker 1: 23:15

So I'm really careful about how I'm helping people by what I'm saying, because somebody might come to you with needing help but they don't like your answer, they don't like the way that you're necessarily giving advice or whatever. So I'm real that's one of my boundaries is I try not to do that anymore. I try not to give advice anymore. I don't give advice.

Speaker 2: 23:35

One of my friends teased me because my number one question, if I am consulted on something, is the first thing I say is do you want to know what I think?

Speaker 2: 23:48

What I realized is that a lot of times I was giving unsolicited advice, right, yes, and now I don't give advice. What I do is I just get inquisitive and I start asking questions and I start getting them to come up with their own answers and their own advice. That's one of the perks of being a breast cancer recovery strategist is that I've learned to get curious and allow people to come up with their own answers.

Speaker 1: 24:14

Yeah, I like that. I was a teacher before breast cancer and that's sort of a strategy I used in the classroom. I didn't like you do this, or you should do this, or you should do that, or blah blah. I would start asking questions and they would come up with their own answers too. That's such a great strategy. I love it. Okay, so what were your treatments like with that second one?

Speaker 2: 24:34

With the second one, we just did a unilateral mastectomy. Okay, I was offered Tamoxifen for five years and my first question was is this going to guarantee that the cancer doesn't return? And I remember my care team saying there are no guarantees. And so when I looked at the side effects of tamoxifen and knew that I didn't have any guarantees, I declined. I got judged for that, but you know, I believe that self-advocacy is really important. This is my body, my choice, and so I made the choice to not go on a medication for five years and I am now 16 years in remission.

Speaker 2: 25:19

So I think it was a great choice for me, and I think that what's important for anybody on this journey to understand is that you do have choices and it's important to get still and consult with Gus, god, universe source spirit, and figure out what the best plan for you is. And don't ever get tired of asking your care team questions, even if that question is just a simple why. If they tell you to do something, the question is just why? Right, get them to explain to you the course of action that they're taking. And I know for me, when I asked why for the tamoxifen and they were like well, it will reduce the risk. Well, here I was already on my second bout with breast cancer and you're telling me it's going to reduce the risk.

Speaker 1: 26:11

But there are no guarantees that it's going to reduce the risk, so it just didn't sound like a good option for me, so I had to find Well, I'm so glad that you made the choice that you did, and it is amazing how people kind of interject their opinions about what you're doing with your own body.

Speaker 1: 26:27

I got a little bit of that as well, and I feel like that's a very good piece of advice for people who have just been diagnosed with breast cancer, that there are options, and I'm on a personal mission to uncover where all the good breast surgeons are, depending on what kind of surgery you want to have whether you want to have a single or double mastectomy, whether you want to have implants or if you want to do an autologous surgery where they use your own tissue to reconstruct, which is what I had and also, on top of that, uncovering where the nipple tattoo girls are around our country. I'm actually getting 3d nipple tattooing with some breasty friends that I one person I've met in person at the hospital for my second surgery in December. Two of the other gals were on the phone and texting every day and I've never met him in person and we decided to make it a girl's trip. We're all going to San Antonio, texas, to Perky, and we are getting our nipple tattoos in May.

Speaker 2: 27:27

I love that. I love that I should meet you guys up there. I never finished. I got tired of being poked and prodded and I'm in Houston Texas.

Speaker 1: 27:37

Well, one of the girls is in Austin. She's a pre-vivor, she doesn't need them, but because we're all friends, she's coming for moral support. I love it. One girl's coming from is she in Tennessee? I think she's in Tennessee. One girl's coming from Washington state. I'm in Reno, nevada, so you are more than welcome to come with us. I feel like it is a girl's trip of all girls trips. So we're getting an Airbnb and we can, you know, all stay together. And I'm actually going to meet Crystal and Courtney with Perky in San Antonio next week because I'm going on a business trip. It's like a training that I'm going on. I'm a public board member here in Nevada for social workers and it just so happens it's going to be San Antonio, texas. So I'm going to get to meet those two girls who I have interviewed on my podcast. I get to meet them in person before we go back in May. And I get to meet three surgeons that I've interviewed in San Antonio. I get to meet them in person this next week too.

Speaker 2: 28:33

So I am not even kidding Dee you are super, super invited, okay, well, thank you. Now, what's the date? Well, we'll talk about that later the dates and whatnot.

Speaker 1: 28:43

Yeah, it's in May. I'll send you the dates. We didn't want to go there when it was too hot, right, anyway. So, and I just want to congratulate you for number one, getting through both breast cancers. And the second time around clearly was the tipping point of you saying, all right, I'm making my own decisions, I'm going to rock everybody's world with this news that I've been hiding. And now you are 10 years down the road as far as being together I'm not sure if you were married right then but for just making those decisions, those are not easy decisions to make and I know this because I have friends who have also done very similar things on even being a teacher of middle school and high school kids who are struggling with that secret and dealing with their parents and their friends and all the things.

Speaker 1: 29:34

So I'm just super in awe of you and you look like you're happy. You look healthy, happy, beautiful. I love everything about the journey that you've gone through, so much that you are a staunch advocate, like I am, for breast cancer patients and survivors and also for people who've never even had breast cancer. What to look for, how to take care of your body, how to listen to your body, how to advocate. You have a book. I do. Can you talk about that?

Speaker 2: 30:09

I would love to talk about that. So the title of my book is called Beauty in the Breakdown Finding Peace in the Midst of Life's Disruptions, and in the book I talk about how everything that happens to us is actually happening for us to elevate us to our next level and planting something in us that we're going to need for the next journey that we're going to embark upon. So me coming out as a lesbian, me having breast cancer, me experiencing childhood sexual abuse all of those things I talk about in the book. But I talk about the lessons that I learned from each of those not so positive experiences and how they set me up to later for something that I was going to need later, Like with breast cancer, I learned that it's okay to be vulnerable.

Speaker 2: 31:08

I learned that I'm stronger than I think I am. With childhood sexual abuse, I learned that it does not define my worth. It does not take away from who I am. It says more about the person who hurt me than it does about me. With coming out as a lesbian, I learned that the best way to live is to live authentically, Because when you show up as your authentic self, you're going to attract authentic relationships, and that is the definition of happiness to me. So I learned so much on this journey and I talk about all of those things in the book and how everything that's happening to you is really happening for you.

Speaker 1: 31:46

What a wonderful message. What you just said even brings me back to even more that we have in common the whole childhood sexual abuse. My situation happened with a babysitter when I was very, very young, and it started to really become clear as I grew older. And now I look back and think to myself that person will never, ever, ever know how that affected my life. However, I did not let that define me and I like that message that it doesn't define you, and sometimes we don't realize that until we're like way older.

Speaker 1: 32:21

You know, yeah, it's amazing how things come out later on and things like that. So thank you for sharing that. D I love the fact that you're so vulnerable enough to say it, to talk about it, because there are so many people who are listening to this, thinking, oh my gosh, like okay, I'm not the only one, or there's so many other people who have dealt with realizing that they were sexually abused or that they loved a woman rather than the man, and things like that, and so I just think it's so important just to say it, right, absolutely, and to understand it and to help people understand that it doesn't make you a bad person or anything like that. What else are you working on?

Speaker 2: 33:04

So I have an amazing YouTube channel where I interview breast cancer survivors who are thriving post breast cancer, and the whole basis of the YouTube channel is to provide inspiration, motivation and determination for ladies who find themselves on their breast cancer journey Right, like you said, being inducted into the sisterhood that nobody really asked to be a part of right, but again, to let you know that not only can life be good after breast cancer, but it can be better than ever before. I am also an international speaker, so I'm always looking for speaking opportunities so that I can share again with women that not only can life be good after breast cancer, but it can be better than ever before. And I'm also a breast cancer recovery strategist and I help women who are complete with treatment and the whole nine make the rest of their lives, the best of their lives, by understanding that breast cancer may be a chapter in their book, but it's not the whole story.

Speaker 1: 34:06

Okay, well, that's really good to know that you are working on that and that you're an international speaker too. I might have some people that I want to connect you with, but, that being said, all of these links your website, your YouTube channel and all the things how to reach you are going to be in our show notes. But, yeah, lots of silver linings, friendships, like. I feel like you and I are friends and we're going to be doing some things together. I have a feeling Listen.

Speaker 2: 34:32

One of the things Jamie said that is just so profound is that this is the sisterhood that nobody asked to be a part of. But once you get in the love and support that you will receive from other ladies who have gone on this journey, it's unmatched. It's unmatched. The love and support of the Pink Sisterhood is unmatched. It's unmatched. The love and support of the Pink Sisterhood is unmatched.

Speaker 1: 34:53

Somebody asked me if I was happier now than I was before, and in so many ways, yes I am. I hate the fact that my mother is no longer with me. That broke me big time back in 2019. I wish so much she was here, but I do incorporate her in my life. In fact, that's her urn right there. I have taken ashes out of it already. It took me a long time to do it, but I have taken ashes out because I'm helping her continue to be a world traveler. She always was a world traveler with my dad and I am taking a little bit of her in everywhere I go and sprinkling her.

Speaker 1: 35:28

Yeah, so she is still very much a part of my life. I don't like the fact that she's gone, but I will say that my heart, because of my new life and with my sisters, like you and so many others, and this profound purpose that I have found it, is unmatched, yeah. So I want to wrap this up by asking you a really, really important question. Everyone knows that my podcast test those breasts is all about bringing awareness to people who have been diagnosed, who are survivors I mean, even in our survivorship. We learn so much from our podcasts, right, our guests and everything. But one group of people that I primarily try to reach are those people who are sitting on the sidelines. They've never even been diagnosed. I don't care whether they're in their twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and beyond. What big piece of advice do you have for those people?

Speaker 2: 36:30

Early detection is key is the big advice that I have for people who have never been diagnosed or touched by breast cancer. I would say to them think of eight women that you love. One of those eight women would be diagnosed with breast cancer, and so early detection is key. Do your breast self-exams, because, as Jamie pointed out, age is no longer a factor. I interviewed a young woman on my YouTube channel a couple of weeks ago who was 25 at diagnosis. Right, I was in clinic with a woman who was 18 at diagnosis. So it's really important that we do breast self exams and not wait on mammograms.

Speaker 2: 37:15

I would also say that if you have dense breast tissue, that it's important to be an advocate for yourself and ask for additional testing beyond the mammogram, because with dense breast tissue, it's harder to find the tumor. So that would be my advice. And then to live authentically, really lean into what it takes for your own happiness and to stop living for the happiness of others, because when you step into living for your own happiness, that really is where life begins. That just made my heart happy. When you step into living for your own happiness, that really is where life begins.

Speaker 1: 37:53

That just made my heart happy when you just said that and I appreciate you're talking about extra screening for people who have dense breasts. I started asking for extra screening when I found out I had dense breast tissue and we need to remember that younger women have dense breast tissue and as we grow older it becomes less dense, but they can see it. There is a really good Instagram. This doctor who got breast cancer and she did an analogy she had a cup of like some clear cream type milk or something and a cup of coffee and she took a white, like I don't know marshmallow or something like that and stuck it into the coffee and you can see the actual white marshmallow or whatever it was. She was trying to say when you don't have dense breast tissue, it's easier to see. With the milky stuff you can't see it as well, because that's what dense breast tissue looks like. It's like finding a snowflake in a snowstorm and so asking for that ultrasound along with your mammogram.

Speaker 1: 38:58

I literally just told a friend when we met. She said I just had my mammogram. It came out Okay. She says I do have dense breast tissue and I said you need to go back and you need to ask them for an ultrasound. And what did she do? She did it. So yesterday she had her ultrasound. I haven't heard anything back from her, but she wanted to do it for peace of mind and I just that's such great advice.

Speaker 1: 39:20

Well D, this has been such an amazing conversation. I just feel so lucky to know you. By the way, where are you? I'm in Houston, texas. Oh, that's right, you did say that Sometimes I forget things, you know, when you get older sometimes, and you are going to be hopefully maybe coming with us to San Antonio, that would be just so much fun.

Speaker 2: 39:42

I really hope that I have ruined my schedule to join you, ladies, because that would be fun. To be together with some pink sisters to do something so fun and really get to connect on something positive and fun would be amazing.

Speaker 1: 39:56

Yes, for sure, I'll send you the dates. Well, I really appreciate your being here and I will be in touch with you. Is there anything you would like to leave us with before we wrap up?

Speaker 2: 40:06

Oh, I would like to leave any listeners with. The time is now. The time is now to make the rest of your life the best of your life, and no more sitting on the sidelines, no more shrinking, no more people pleasing, but really tap into your spirit, your inner being, and figure out what's it going to take for you to live a life that you love, right Like? One of the things that breast cancer has taught me is that life is short. I am about making sure that I am smelling the roses now. I do things that I enjoy. I got in touch with my core, get in touch with your core values. That's also one of the things that I want to add. Like for me, my other family fund, finances and freedom. So I have created a life designed around those things to make sure that I'm living a life that I love.

Speaker 1: 41:03

Yeah, well, good, I'm glad I connected with you too, because that's what I do as well. My husband and I just even spent some money redecorating our whole entire master bedroom and we're doing our bathroom and everything. It's like why not do it right now? I mean, we're retired. Let's do it right now, because nothing guarantees that we're going to be here tomorrow. Right, absolutely, absolutely Well, awesome, all right, dee. Well, thank you very much.

Speaker 1: 41:25

And to my audience, my audience, I really appreciate your joining us again on this episode of Test those Breasts and we will see you next time. And bye for now, bye, friends. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Test those Breasts. I hope you got some great much needed information that will help you with your journey. As always, I am open to guests to add value to my show, and I'm also open to being a guest on other podcasts where I can add value. So please reach out if you'd like to collaborate. My contact information is in the show notes and, as a reminder, rating, reviewing and sharing this podcast will truly help build a bigger audience all over the world. I thank you for your efforts. I look forward to sharing my next episode of Test those Breasts.