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The Power of Positive Self-Talk

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Staring down the barrel of another daunting workweek, I once found myself wrestling with a sneaky sense of self-doubt that nearly convinced me I wasn't up to the task. But a simple shift in the conversation I was having with myself turned everything around. Welcome to a journey through the landscapes of our inner talk—this episode is an ode to the science-backed magic of positive self-talk. I'm spilling the secrets of how your own words can be your most powerful ally in reshaping reality, influencing emotions, and steering behavior. From personal tales of triumph over the inner critic to scientific insights from the fields of cognitive psychology and neuroplasticity, we're picking apart the cognitive distortions that hold us back and arming you with affirmations to charge forward.

Ever found yourself whispering internal rebukes just before stepping into the spotlight? You're not alone. In this intimate conversation, we unravel the threads of imposter syndrome and reweave them into badges of confidence. With anecdotes about the transformative effects of statements that follow "I am," I'll guide you from the quicksand of self-doubt to the solid ground of self-assurance. We'll also examine the intriguing findings from the University of Michigan that reveal the surprising power of referring to oneself by name. By the end of this discussion, you'll have the tools to cultivate a mindset of tenacity and positivity, ready to take on the year with a chorus of cheers from the most important coach you'll ever have—you.

Speaker 1:

gonna want to cry. Perhaps I'm gonna out to the better world. Are you giving me eller? And welcome to new energy crew podcast me, your host, jp Warren, and I want to thank everyone out there for tuning in today and we had an exciting episode today. For those that are tuning in, if you're enjoying this, you know, please make sure you subscribe and like and talking about it and all that fun stuff sharing it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so it's the new year, it's January 1 right now, and this kind of this topic kind of stems from something that you know, we've had a lot of family time, a lot of time at the house, a lot of time, you know, playing games and all that stuff, and whether it's video games or whether it's, you know, kind of board games as a family, and this kind of something kind of originated naturally and this is the power of self talk, alright, I think that this is kind of like, you know, as we enter the new year, it's one of those things we're all looking for these, you know, these hacks and these things to be more efficient. You know, improve this, improve that, these, these, these new year's resolutions, all that. However, I personally think that this is probably one of the easiest, lowest hanging fruit and probably the healthiest things that people out there can do. And even if you just start practicing today and stick with it, I've seen dramatic results. Dramatic results. And I think others out there too it might be, you know, oity, toity, foo, foo and all that stuff, but it's not it's. I see it working and I hope I hope you can too.

Speaker 1:

So this all about getting rid of your negative self talk and actually whenever you do hear yourself self talk and stopping that and kind of give yourself a compliment or two after that. Alright, I'm trying to think when I want to share, you know when, this personal story about self talk. I'll probably get into that a little bit, but let's kind of get into kind of a self talk is kind of reality shape, or I mean, if you're out there, I mean we all know people that you know some days, you know some. We all know people out there that things always go really wrong for them, right, don't? We always know people that things go really right for them all the time and we can know who those people are, based on kind of how they present themselves and how they kind of project themselves, you know, to the world to kind of that that shapes the reality. I personally believe that kind of like. You know whether it's.

Speaker 1:

You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I feel just crappy, I feel like it's gonna be a bad day and I'm very negative, grumpy around the house, you know, and what happens? The day starts turning bad. You know, like bad things, don't like hit the fan, like it's just like whenever I wake up and it's like then I start talking like oh, another day, another, this, another, that bad things start to happen. Once I have that negative self talk, bad things start to happen. However, whenever you wake up and you might notice this too, and it's just a great day, you're feeling it, you're feeling great, you're feeling good, you're talking good, you're talking people up your column, old friends, all things start working out your way. So it's so, just that's. That's kind of the base of this. So it's, it's more than just kind of like it's not trickery, alright.

Speaker 1:

So let me, let me get into this a little bit, alright. So I'm going to go over very I don't know this stuff that well. I'm going to go over kind of what I researched on the internet about you know this cognitive psychology, or you know neuroplasticity and all that stuff. But there is a science behind a self talk and then I'm going to go over briefly before I kind of start sharing stories and kind of want to tell you how to kind of give yourself positive self talking, kind of why it's important. So in, okay, so anyone from Dr Joe dispens out there to whoever out there are, know all about all about cognitive psychology. That's the, that's how our thoughts influence our emotions and our behaviors. So think about that.

Speaker 1:

If I'm walking into a room and my thought is a certain way, it's negative, it's, let's say it's, it's a wet blanket, it's negative, it's not gonna go. Great, it's not gonna. This is gonna fail. Well, whatever that is, you're an idiot, jp, you can't handle this at all stuff. Whatever that happens and I want you walk in that room it kind of changes how you act. It changes how you approach a situation, how you attack a problem, and so that I mean there is a there, whether it's a science or whether it's truth or not. But try that out next time you walk into a room.

Speaker 1:

And I had this experience not that long ago. I was about to go into a room. I think it was an investment firm, company or whatever like that. Anyway, it was out of my element. It was something it was. I've never dealt with it before and I've told the story before and before going into that Meaning, I was very nervous.

Speaker 1:

I was a fish out of water. Imposter Seniors was hitting pretty hard and I was started. I started noticing my little imposter Seniors voice started kind of give me some negative self-talk and I started feeling that I started getting nervous. I started going blank and then I, within three or four minutes, I stopped myself and I caught myself and I started changing how I talked to myself about what to expect in this meeting. I started talking to myself, talking myself up, like I was coaching myself up, like get in there, get after this, do this, do this, do this, you're gonna do great, you belong here, you know You're gonna. You're gonna go in there, even crush and all stuff. And sure enough, my energy walking into that room and the conversations were had was very different than would be if I walked in with that negative self-talk, thinking that I wasn't right for that room. So again, it changed how my behavior changed, how I felt going that room. You know, my hands were shaking anymore I wasn't, I wasn't as nervous of as I would have been.

Speaker 1:

All right, the concept of cognitive Distortions oh, this is okay negative pattern to think and that contribute to pessimistic self-talk. How many times People out there that you don't give yourself a compliment? Instead you give yourself kind of an insult, like, oh, I look like crap in these jeans. You're like, oh, I'm a horrible public speaker, I can't do that, I'm an idiot, or something like that. How often does that kind of? How often do these nail over? This isn't gonna this project sign go? Well, you start native self-talking and what happens? It never. I'll bet, I'm on a bet that nothing positive comes from these negative self-talks and usually kind of results in the way that you're expecting, not positive, pessimistic and kind of ends probably pretty, you know, done in the water. So again I'm so, again that's, I'm just giving all these science things All right.

Speaker 1:

So Aaron Beck's cognitive therapy, how, that's the idea that changing one's thinking can lead to changing in feelings, behaviors. We talked about that. We talked, and there's this phrase with the snaps. It's like what, whatever, whatever fires together, wires together. So the more we negative self-talk, the more we kind of believe that our brains and bodies don't understand if we're being joking, joking or Sarcastic to ourselves. So even if I don't even joke around anymore, I'm like, oh, I'm such an idiot. I don't even try to say that anymore, just because my body feels it. I know like, I know I'm joking. However my body does, my brain does. So I try to stay away from from negative self-talk. All right, and let's see a study of University of Michigan showed that using your own name in self-talk can increase motivation, self-regulation, positive self-talk and improve athletic performance, reduction stress and enhanced problem-solving under pressure. Okay, all right. So positive self-talk, it says in psychology, can lower stress, change core zone levels, which is the stress hormones and all that.

Speaker 1:

So let's kind of get into my personal experience with self-talk. You know it could stem anywhere, from being on the golf course with people and you start kind of like think about it. So if you're out there, whether you play, pick a ball of tennis, whatever you want to put, it doesn't matter what you play and you're having a bad day. If you try this out next time, you're having a bad day at one of these sports whenever you go to the ball. Let's say I'm going to take golf for an example, because this has happened to me many times. So in golf not good at all, don't care, but I kind of handle my own. But I notice if I have bad days in golf, they just keep getting worse. They keep getting worse and I think a lot of that is because I'm talking a lot of crap to myself, like I'm really kind of digging in myself oh, you're not going to make the shot, oh it's going to be another bad shot other than this. I notice when I start changing my mindset, when I start changing myself, talking really when I approach the ball, I say, no man, you're going to do great. Hey, it's going to get up there, it's going to roll down, you're going to have fun with it. I would say, the more often that I give this positive pep talk, self talk or whatever it is, I would say it's a higher percentage chance that the shot is actually a good shot. So try it out next time. Try it out, whatever it is when you're playing the sport.

Speaker 1:

Actually, over the break I was playing. So we were a big gaming family. We loved playing video games. I have a VR set and I was playing this first person cheer game and I'm usually pretty good at it, but I was just kind of getting. I had two kills, everyone had like 25, whatever it is. Well, I started saying I suck at this, man, I'm sorry, I'm sucking at this. Well, I started saying that I started getting worse. I was like, okay, I want to try something out and this is earlier this week, because again I've started thinking about this and this is something we've discussed in our home. I said, okay, how about this? I am good at this. You know, I'm probably going to win this. I'm a good shot, so anyway. So I started kind of pumping myself up, started saying out loud how I was, and it was all positive, it was all motivational and, sure enough, like I won that game going from, you know, 18, a spread of 18 kills less. And I already won that game.

Speaker 1:

We were playing badminton in the lawn and my daughter, she was hitting the badminton and she's like or the shadow cock and my, and she goes. You know, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this. And I said, well, we don't do that, so try saying so. We kind of coach her, kind of hey, tell yourself, you can do it. She's like I can do it. She started crushing it. She started doing so good at playing a badminton.

Speaker 1:

Again, the power of self-talk it does change. You can change yourself, man, I mean, even with goals, just saying your goals out loud, just saying just give me yourself. So there's a couple of ways that I've noticed this self-talk as well too. I remember. I know that some days I'll again go back to those grumpy days. It'll be pessimistic. I'll be in the car, I'll be kind of crapping my family and just be stressful and kind of like everything's wrong and all that stuff, and I'll just shut off the music in the car and I will literally start talking to myself. I want you to try this too. I know it sounds silly, I know it sounds stupid, but who cares right? So I will literally, for probably about five to 10 minutes, I'll shut the music off and I'll just kind of talk to myself.

Speaker 1:

Hey, jp, what's going on right now? Well, I'm kind of pissed off this now. Okay. Well, why are you so? What's going on? What's going on? No, jp, you got this. No, dude, you've got this. You've done this, this and this. You can do this. You've got, dude, you've got this. Like, what do you have to be upset about? You have a roof over your head. You have a loving family, you have this.

Speaker 1:

So I literally kind of talk myself, you know, off a ledge and kind of start being my own champion, start being my own coach, and within five to 10 minutes I'm telling you, my attitude changes, my day changes and how I progress changes throughout the day. So I know it sounds stupid, but give it a shot. You know, next time you're feeling bad, next time you're nervous about kind of walking in a meeting or dealing with something, try to talk yourself up. Give yourself five to 10 minutes and really just I know it sounds stupid, but get in your car, close the door and just kind of talk to yourself. It may be silly, kind of hearing yourself talk, but just who cares? All right, so if you can hear my voice, you can probably listen to your voice a little bit more pleasant. All right.

Speaker 1:

Kids crew, oklahoma City. You know it was one of those things where it's like, oh, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. Well, a wife and I went up there. Sure enough, we said you know what it's going to happen regardless, it's going to be a great time. We're going to do that Within 12 hours of us changing how we talk. I'm not saying this is anything, but the things sold out Like I'm not sure what it is, what kind of ingredients in this mix, but there is a certain power, there is a certain science behind talking yourself in a positive light.

Speaker 1:

My wife gave me an example. You know I have a real tough time when it comes to like imposter syndrome. You know dealing with like success, achievement, setting goals, whatever it is. You know, but I'm working. You know that's part of you know this journey and I hope whoever's out there something this journey with me they're doing as well. But my wife, I mean, she's like you know, you are so hard on yourself, like she's like you, you are so hard she goes.

Speaker 1:

Would you talk to your daughter that way? I said no, absolutely not. She goes. Would you talk to your daughter that way if she mess, made a minor mistake or she didn't believe in herself as much as she should? Oh no, I wouldn't. Well, how would you talk to? And I kind of went in how I talked to her oh no, like, hey, look like you got this. Like hey, look you try, like that's what matters, and I kind of she goes. That's exactly how you should be talking to yourself. I felt silly doing that, but she's like, if you can't pretend that your daughter said pretend it's your 10 year old self, pretend it's a little version of yourself, what would you tell yourself as a child, as a kid, you know you would take a different tone. You wouldn't. You wouldn't have any negative self-talk or insult yourself or anything like that.

Speaker 1:

So have a positive conversation with yourself. All right, let's see. I mean that's kind of it kind of ties into everything. I mean, whether it's setting goals, whether it's celebrating goals, whether it's a posture syndrome and even like even these, these, where is it? I have it right here? Even talking yourself up, I mean it just kind of it kind of pumps you up.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, all I'm going to say is, if you're out there and you are having a tough day, or if you're not having a tough day, next time you catch yourself talking negative to yourself. Change that. Give yourself some compliments and don't give yourself any negative, because your brain doesn't know the difference. Change your realities by changing how you talk to yourself. All right, talk to yourself either as a coach, or as someone that's pumping you up, a life coach, whatever, or as like you're your own kid. Okay, there is power, there is reality on how we speak about ourselves. So, if you're out there, and again, that's the whole point of this whole, where is it? Because you crew this IS2IM journey. The whole base of that is the imposter syndrome isn't us, it stems from childhood, whatever it was.

Speaker 1:

However, utilizing the statement I am good enough, I am ready, I am confident, you know like I am going to crush this meeting, that's the entire program, the IS2IM journey by saying I am. It is one of the most powerful statements you can have out there. So, if you're out there, I am, say it. Whatever follows. That is your reality. So, whatever follows I am, don't be negative, be positive. So I won't thank anyone out there for tuning in. I hope this helped. I know I kind of went on a little tangent, but that's all right. It's my podcast and you enjoyed it. I hope you did. Feel free to spread the word, share it and again, be kind, be positive to yourself and you got this All right. So, again, stop the negative talk, stop the negative insults, don't be hard on yourself after the holidays. Okay, be positive, be complimentary, be your best friend, be your coach. All right, everyone, have a great beginning of your of the year and we will talk to you soon on Energy Crew. Put your energy in the right direction.