Special OpeRadio
Diddy's Apology
Embarking on a journey through the facets of human connection, I reflect on my touching encounters with individuals with intellectual disabilities, which have reshaped my understanding of our shared humanity. It's these raw and genuine interactions that lead us into the more turbulent waters of celebrity scandal as we unravel the implications of Diddy's recent controversy, his apology, and the industry's silence on such matters. Through the lens of 50 Cent's bold reactions, we delve into the complexities of wealth's veneer and the public's restricted glimpse into the lives of the rich and famous.
Shifting gears, we explore the labyrinthine relationship between guilt, forgiveness, and redemption, drawing on personal anecdotes and a poignant dialogue about the heavy burden of unconfessed crimes. From the personal battlefields of combat to the everyday confrontations that test our moral compass, we confront the reality of self-defense and the quandaries of seeking divine absolution without earthly confession. As we wrap up, I express heartfelt gratitude to you, the listener, for accompanying us on this voyage of contemplation and invite you to further engage with the Special App Radio community, where the conversation continues and the insights deepen.
Embarking on a journey through the facets of human connection, I reflect on my touching encounters with individuals with intellectual disabilities, which have reshaped my understanding of our shared humanity. It's these raw and genuine interactions that lead us into the more turbulent waters of celebrity scandal as we unravel the implications of Diddy's recent controversy, his apology, and the industry's silence on such matters. Through the lens of 50 Cent's bold reactions, we delve into the complexities of wealth's veneer and the public's restricted glimpse into the lives of the rich and famous.
Shifting gears, we explore the labyrinthine relationship between guilt, forgiveness, and redemption, drawing on personal anecdotes and a poignant dialogue about the heavy burden of unconfessed crimes. From the personal battlefields of combat to the everyday confrontations that test our moral compass, we confront the reality of self-defense and the quandaries of seeking divine absolution without earthly confession. As we wrap up, I express heartfelt gratitude to you, the listener, for accompanying us on this voyage of contemplation and invite you to further engage with the Special App Radio community, where the conversation continues and the insights deepen.
Yeah, it was an intense experience. You know, I just did the work, watched a lot of retarded people, spent time with them, observed them, watched all the retarded stuff they did. I love the whistle.
Speaker 2:Doing pre-show, prep man Boy trying to task, you know multitask.
Speaker 2:We're expanding here at Special App Radio. I'm your host, texas, terry. We appreciate you being here. Didn't forget my name that time, did I? Look, I know exactly who I am, terry by Tejas. Who I am, terry by Tejas. Anyway, man, welcome to the show. We're gonna pretty much start off exactly where you think we would Recently, within the past couple of days I'm not sure of the exact day, whatever date. There's a lot going on, so there's so much to cover and so little time, and I'm only one man. That's why I need you to hit me up at specialappradiolookcom, give me any comments, concerns, suggestions, complaints or otherwise, anything you want to talk about or want me to discuss. I'm open, I'm an open book and I got two big ass ears, so I'm willing to listen and hear you out. You can also catch me on the shithole X aka Twitter at specialopperadio. Go, fuck a figure. That's not too hard of math, let's just get into it.
Speaker 2:So, uh, recent footage just out of clear blue sky came out about. Uh, your homeboy diddy can't stop, won't stop. He just you know they got video of it. Now there's evidence that floated around. He's at a hotel, something continental, back in la, forget the year. Google it. I'm not here to be Ted Coppola. I told y'all this shit. It's available online. I'm just making you aware that it's there. Point is, it's obvious that this, uh, this young lady, um, cassie, don't know her age at the time. It's the most uninformed news network in the country and somehow still more accurate than CNN. Go, motherfucking figure. That's how we do it at Special Appar Radio anyway. So, yeah, she's at this hotel and she's burning off. It looks like you know what I mean. There's no audio to the, to the video, um, but she's burning off. And here come Diddy with some red ass socks on and a bath towel, running around the corner, chasing after her, grabs by the hair, throws her on the ground, takes a kick at her, hits her, I think, then throws a vase at her and the hair. Throws her on the ground, takes a kick at her, hits her, I think, then throws a vase at her and then tries to kick her again and ultimately drags her back to the room.
Speaker 2:I assume there's no denying it. I mean, it's out there, it's there and there's. I mean really nothing you can say about it. This happened in Los Angeles and of course, they're not going to prosecute. According to them. It is outside of the uh, what do you call that? You know, um, you know what the fuck I'm saying, where it goes past. I know it's on the tip of my tongue, it really is, but it's outside of the fucking limitations, past statute of limitations. I think that's what I'm looking for. Uh, yeah, um, they're not gonna do anything about it, but the industry in and of itself is already shunning them and I think you know, I don't know there's all the rumors, you know that he pissed off all the wrong people and that's how this is uh happening.
Speaker 2:50 cents take. I'm a big fan of 50 cent man, that dude right there, because you know what he pops a lot of shit. He could back back it up. Seems like a tough dude, seems like a solid dude, fucking head, smart dude, businessman, all that type of shit. No nonsense type of guy. He calling cap on Diddy already because, of course, after the video surfaced a couple days later, which we're going to get to in a minute Diddy did drop an uh apology letter, as they all do.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Once they're caught, then the apology comes out, but you never receive it if they weren't to, um, you know, be caught in the moment, in the act, not the hearsay, not the he said, she said, but the actual act of doing it via a video, like we seen. Uh, believe me, you, you, me, whatever the case may be, I wish I could uh post the or show you the video right now if you want to see it. It's at Special App Radio at Outlook or, excuse me, it's at Special App Radio on X, but there's a million places you can find it. You don't necessarily have to search me out to do it, but if you just happen to find yourself there, give me a follower. Man, I'm trying to look like I'm a big dog in this game, so let me play the apology letter before I get to anything further.
Speaker 2:I was just let me close with this before I get to that. It's just the industry's shunning him already and he's obviously feeling it. There's, you know, all kind of reports of him being millions in debt on the properties that were raided and through who knows what else. You know what I'm saying? It's still all that. We're just the peons that get the little information as they choose to disseminate it and uh, you know, whatever the, the, the culture may be, I hope I'm even allowed to even be talking about this.
Speaker 2:According to the internet, especially the cesspool x, apparently white people aren't allowed to comment on these types of issues, even though you know youngsters that weren't even around when diddy was a thing trying to tell me that I can't comment on them, when you know we were buying his music for years Biggie Smalls, puffy Mace, the locks, lil Kim. I wasn't a fan of Lil Kim, I'm just saying all these people had the game on lock for a minute. You couldn't turn on MTV raps. I bet these youngsters don't even know what that is. You couldn't turn on uh bt the basement, watch tigger. You know what I mean. Like these people don't even know and they're trying to tell me that I can't comment on it because of the color of my skin. Get the fuck out of here. I sure don't. I really don't understand the type of people and I'm not just saying black people, I'm saying anyone in general.
Speaker 2:If you're the type of person that tells other people what they can and can't say, then you're the fucking problem, especially when you're commenting on their shit. You say whatever you want about your homeboy. Just spell my name, right. You know what I mean. I'm out here open, you know what I mean and on the Internet trying to do some stuff, probably going to get on a stage soon and try a hand at comedy. But I mean I put myself out there and I subject myself to that. I don't see any reason why I'm not allowed to comment on it. And if you're saying that type of shit, you're the fucking racist, not me.
Speaker 2:I'm not commenting on Diddy because he's black. I'm commenting on Diddy because he was a fucking like influence in everyone's lives back in the day in the 90s and shit. This dude was fucking everywhere, everywhere, had his hand in everything, his the, the styles. I used to buy Sean John clothes he had dope ass clothes, you know. So I'm allowed to fucking comment on it, you know I mean.
Speaker 2:But I'm just saying there's a big fucking evil aspect to this, especially given the, the severity of the allegations. I mean raping kids, fucking. I mean you got will smith involved in this somehow, jay-z. There's pedophilia. There's the freak fest games or whatever. The fuck freak off parties. This is some crazy shit, you know, I mean. It ain't like I don't know. Man. You got the shine thing where shine went to prison. Does anybody even know who shine is or what the situation, the circumstances circulating around that event, were these youngsters trying to tell me because I'm white, I can't talk, or I'm 43, I'm too old to speak on it? Stop it, youngster. That's what makes you stupid Sometimes.
Speaker 2:Who said it? It's better to fucking remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt. I believe that was Benjamin Franklin. I did just pull that off the top of my head. You're fucking welcome, and I remembered my name. This episode.
Speaker 2:There was one listener, one guest and maybe other people caught it, but there was one brave enough. I don't want to say brave, obviously, from anybody I would have took the critique and I even heard it myself. But yeah, lent, good ear, big dog, good ear. Anyway, without further ado, puffy's apology letter after he is A going through all these crazy-ass fucking allegations and b now there's video surf. So this is probably again just the tip of the iceberg, but let me see if I can make this like a seamless, seamless transition. And on your mark. Here we go. Your boy ain't the. I should have a producer at some point in life. If, if you motherfuckers would subscribe. You know what I mean y'all holding me back, holding me down if you'd subscribe. So the algorithm at all the places that you find your favorite podcasts, uh, if you subscribe at those places and just you know, let the algorithm know you like the show man. That helped me out a lot and I could help you more by hiring some janky ass dude to produce my shit here we go.
Speaker 1:It's so difficult to reflect on the darkest times in your life. Sometimes you got to do that. I was fucked up. I mean I hit rock bottom. But I make no excuses. My behavior on that video is inexcusable. I take full responsibility for my actions in that video. I'm disgusted. I was disgusted then when I did it. I'm disgusted now. I went and I sought out professional help, had to go into therapy, go into rehab, had to ask God for his mercy and grace. I'm so sorry, but I'm committed to be a better man each and every day. I'm not asking for forgiveness.
Speaker 2:I'm truly sorry so there it is, man, and he looks burnt up for real. I mean he could be anywhere, I guess, but I mean you don't see, you see very little in the background, um, the roof that's above his head. It's kind of like I don't know it. It it's got to feel like he may not be in the united states at this time and you know, neither here nor there as far as I'm concerned, or I know. I mean, I, my concern is of none to anyone else except authorities. It kind of looks like he may be out of it, out of the country, but who knows? You know I'm saying who knows? Uh, I'm not gonna judge. Um, his asking God for forgiveness, I mean I think we're all allowed to do that. I know we are. You know you can ask for forgiveness at any time.
Speaker 2:Now, whether or not I had an interesting conversation, let me close this up first before I get to that. So I don't know, he does look defeated, though he looks tired, um, he looks under a lot of stress and pressure, and that's understandable as well. But whether or not, uh, it's warranted and and and well-deserved and in a long time coming. Um, man, that's, we do that. That's, I guess, between him and God right and the and the authorities here on here on earth, that's, I guess, between him and God right and the authorities here on here on Earth. I mean I just feel like got off, uh, or or um, basically insinuated that the authorities in california released the video because they're they knew there was nothing they could do about it. But you know, you can't unsee that shit. You know what I mean. Now we all see it. Now it's just it's moving forward. It's probably going further and the entire show wasn't to be dedicated entirely to this episode but in this, just listening to the, to the apology again and again, man, I'm not here, judge, I'm not perfect. I don't, uh, rape people or rip open children's booty holes or any kind of crazy shit like diddy's being accused of and, hey, you know, innocent until proven guilty, right. But there's a lot there and it's tough to listen to. It's a big pill to swallow and it's probably even bigger for this dude right here. Man. But I often wonder again, interesting conversation I had with a friend of mine in church going well, god fearing man, if I could say that and we were just kind of discussing.
Speaker 2:You know, like, let's say, you killed somebody on this earth right, whether it was justified, fit of rage, whatever the case may be, but you knew deep down in your heart that you were wrong for doing so. It wasn't in the act of self-defense or in the defense of someone who would potentially risk life or limb or lose life or limb. So let's say that you did that right and you lived with that for years. However long, pick a number 10. Let's say you live with that for 10 years. You've never been caught. You're living your life, you're succeeding. You haven't even so much as littered since the day that you committed that horrific act.
Speaker 2:Again, whether in self-defense or otherwise, taking somebody's life is a is a hard thing. And I mean, you know, take somebody's life. I say when I reference that, I'm referencing combat. So it's a little different. You know what I mean. There's a different aspect to it and a different situation and circumstance. And I mean there's there's a lot of variables and logistics that go into all all those types of things.
Speaker 2:But you know, being in a firefight, for example, like in Iraq, that's one thing you know. You're in combat zone. You're literally walking around with a weapon Every, every single, where that you go. You kind of expect it and it becomes a normalcy. That's your new normal. You want to talk about new normals. That's a new normal. And so getting into firefight, I assume I've never been in a firefight in the United States, thank God. But if I were to get into a firefight in the United States of America again, probably never happen. But you know I don't put put my. I mean I, if somebody was shooting at me, I don't even want to say firefight. Like somebody starts shooting at me, that wouldn't register, the same as it would if I'm driving around with a bunch of motherfuckers in the united states army. If I'm like with my wife and my stepdaughter and a motherfucker starts shooting at us.
Speaker 2:Texas terry is not going to be the same texas terry in that situation as he would be in the in the war. That's reasonable. You know what I mean. It's not. I mean who? Who's really prepping for that? Like that, anybody that tells you.
Speaker 2:And I don't care if you carry daily or not. Yo, if you carry daily, yes, that's of course. You want to be protected and you want to feel safe and have some comfort. But on the same token, man bro, you're just one dude and if you're out with your family. You're preoccupied with a lot of fucking things and if there's a dude out there just in a restaurant or in a place, he identifies you as a weapon holder, in texas it's harder I don't know where all y'all live, but in texas it's harder because you just assume everybody is carrying, which is a good thing, that's fine. But if a motherfucker really try and target you and he's armed too, and you go to wipe that little bit of spaghetti sauce off your daughter's face you know you've been scanning the room the whole time, you know where the exits are, all that. You got it all ready to go fucking vehicles close to wherever it needs for you to be to feel comfortable. And you then you're gonna lean over and there's a motherfucker been watching you for the past 20 minutes, gonna lean over, wipe your daughter's little uh, spaghetti sauce off her chin or whatever, and that's when that dude is gonna take action.
Speaker 2:Because not every criminal is a retard, you know. There's actually some of them that fucking pay attention to this type of stuff and I've actually been trained to do so. All I'm saying is this man, you yeah, of course, piss, poor planning. How's it go? Proper planning prevents piss, poor performance. I think I nailed it shout out to kamau wherever you are, big dog that's. My guy stopped talking to me after I told him I was a favorite of president trump.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we're getting off on a fucking side note into the bushes and weeds and shit. All I'm saying is I feel like, so you committed that crime. You're living with your family doing you, everything's good, you can go to church on Sundays. But you know, deep down, man, you fucking committed that crime. You've asked God for forgiveness. Are you truly forgiven if you don't confess that crime to authorities on planet earth? Think about that. Are you truly, uh, asking for forgiveness and and and redemption?
Speaker 2:Because I me personally, and it's obviously one of those things that's easier said and done, but me personally, and I don't have biblical scripture, I'm not a bible thumper. I believe in god, I believe in heaven and hell, and you know I probably should be in my book a lot more than I am. But you know everybody's got an excuse right. It's like the same excuse. Like man, I was going to join the army, but I was going to join the Marines, but I was going to join the. I should be in this book as opposed to I should be in the book before I record the podcast. You know what I mean Before being honest and you know you want to talk about like what a good Christian might look like. But anyway, I just feel like man.
Speaker 2:If you commit that crime and you get away with it, you ask for forgiveness from God. I do believe God forgives you, but does he only forgive you if you confess that sin to the authorities here on earth? I think it's an interesting question and I'm sure that there's somebody way more smart than me them theologians out there. They'll bust out some scripts you on real quick. I knew one dude. He was a theologian, had a whole bachelor's degree in that shit, but he didn't seem too biblical.
Speaker 2:I don't know. The more I look back at it, the more I think he was a theologian, had a bachelor, a whole bachelor's degree in that shit. But he didn't seem too biblical. I don't know. The more I look back at it, the more I think he was a hard-headed liberal and I was a young, naive kid and he just, uh, he had a better education than me at the time. But you know, you live and you learn and you, you, uh, you take the licks where they may come from. I guess, right, write that down on your fucking wall of shit to do. You know what I mean speaking of shit to do. This comp, this comedy deadline thing. This it's uh, it's closing in quick and of course, the birthday is closing in quick and, uh, I was writing yesterday for the first time.
Speaker 2:I sat down and, mind you, I started writing. Man, I couldn't give you an exact date, maybe 10 years old, I don't know. I have memories of like writing or dabbling in like short stories and then kind of moving on to poetry. But I kind of started moving on to the poetry because I discovered that Tupac wrote poetry and I was a big old fan of Tupac, so I started trying to dabble in poetry and I actually had a poem. Fan of Tupac. So I started trying to dabble in poetry and I actually had a poem that was published one time someplace. Supposedly they sent me a letter back in the day I couldn't tell you the exact age, maybe 12, they sent me a letter that said congratulations, this poem is going to be published in some book, and I don't know. We didn't have Google back then so you couldn't just like. You had to write a snail mail letter to get any kind of response and I was just kind of like, oh, that was dope. The poem was called, I wonder. It was basically just, uh, wondering about god. That's deep shit for a 12 year old, to be honest with you.
Speaker 2:But I always, you know, as a kid man, I spent a lot of time by myself. I spent a lot of time time just waiting for people to get home from work or, you know, couch surfing, bouncing back and forth between. You know, in the summertime I'd have to like go visit my mother in Illinois and bounce from Buffalo, new York, where I was originally from, and so I spent a lot of time. You know, it's neither here nor there. No blame on anyone, this is just a fact. So, I would you know, poetry transitioned to rap and rap went back to poetry because I wasn't good at it and then I wasn't good at the poetry, so I went back to the rap and I was great at it and, uh, you know, um, it's just always been a thing to me, always been a writing has, and I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:I love it because you can take yourself any place or create anything. You can be anyone almost, or create anyone to be the person you wish you wanted to be. I think writing is fantastic. Reading is fantastic. Uh, I used to do it a lot, man. Obviously, with the uh invention of these phones and all these gadgets, I got more lights around me right now and this 5G radiation just flying everywhere that who the fuck knows.
Speaker 2:I think there's something to be said about just sitting down with a good book or sitting down with empty, fresh, like there was nothing better to me than a fresh marble notepad man and a brand new fucking pen like a dope pen. You know, nowadays kids are like a dope pen. What the fuck is that? A drug? No, it's just a nice looking pen and it was a pleasure to write with anyway, it's just fun.
Speaker 2:So I dabbled in all that in in my extended vacations that I've taken in the past. That's all I really did. That's how I passed the time. I read and I wrote, and that's you know what worked for me. I worked out too. But I mean you, the time I read and I wrote, and that's you know what worked for me. I worked out too. But I mean, you know, I'm saying you can only do that for so long. So in the other times that, the long ones, the lonely ones, the the ones that are, um, when even you're not in a solitude from the uh, you know the technical perspective, like solitary confinement, you're still alone in a sense, but you can take your mind someplace and be free, and that's what I used to do.
Speaker 2:And so I sat down yesterday. I just wanted to kind of see. I've never written a joke in my life. I wrote one the other day and I kind of bounced it off everybody's chest. A couple of people anyway that I thought were different types of people had different personalities. Everybody laughed. Thank you, thank y'all for your input and appreciate you, um, and I did run them through a lie detector test, as they were telling me if they liked the joke or not, just to be sure that they weren't. You know, I don't want to be fluffed up here. Try to come in, hot bro, make this shit work. It's fun, it's gonna be a fun time.
Speaker 2:It was kind of like an eye-opening experience to me because it reminded me of that kid man that was laying on the carpet no tv, no nothing, and had a pen and a pad. They cost my mother maybe a buck and I could make that shit last for a fucking a month. I'd give anything to find half of my lost rhyme books, some of them probably still better than most of these adults out here to be these days. Even poetry man, even the poetry. My grandmother rest in peace. She used to love listening to me when I'd read my poems to her and, just you know, run them by her, see what's up.
Speaker 2:So it's one of those things where I've been doing that so long that I'm super confident in poetry, I'm super confident in my, I'm super confident in my ability. I get up in front of a stage right now, a million people, and spit a verse, no problem, no problem. But this is different, and I'm, you know, maybe that's what makes it unique is because it kind of made it leaves me kind of vulnerable, obviously, to the crowd and even more critique. But I think you know this podcast, too, has taught me a lot about how to kind of vulnerable, obviously, to the crowd and even more critique. But I think you know what this podcast, too, has taught me a lot about how to kind of. You know, I, like I said, I'm not, uh uh, objectionable to any kind of negative criticism. I appreciate it, man. It's gonna make me a better host in it and hopefully a better comedian and a better person all the way around, with whatever it is that I choose to do.
Speaker 2:You know, I did make this episode a little bit about me. I don't give a fuck. I talked about Diddy enough. He's got his own problems. He's on his way down, I'm on my way up, and that's why I want to just drop this gem real quick.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to keep these short for now, because I got a lot on my plate and I got a lot of shit that I got to do and I got a to work with. I'm lying, I'm trying, though I'm trying. Anyway, man, again, I know your day and your time is precious and there's a million different places that you can find content. You ain't even got to listen to your boy, tex Terry, terry Von Tejas, plain old Terry. Whatever the case may be, some people even call me TJ that's what they used to call me Terry Jason, switheastcommy Terry Jason. Anyway, I'm gonna leave it there because I think I said enough. I think I've taken up enough of your time.
Speaker 2:I do appreciate you listening and again, if you do happen to find your way to X, hit me at special app radio. Hit the follow. I'll follow you back. Fuck it, why not? You know what I mean and we can keep each other informed on the days goings-ons. My turn Also. Catch me at SpecialOperRadio, at Outlookcom. I think that's it, man. You know what I mean. We're going to keep you posted. The episodes are going to drop more frequently. Please don't get tired of my voice and if you do fucking, just, you know, don't play it for a couple days and then come back and we'll be here waiting for you. Once again, thank you very, very much. I'm Tex Terry. This is Special App Radio.
Speaker 2:We'll see you pretty soon, peace. Thank you Bye.