"Munch and Midler" with Kara Klenk

Stand up, writer, actor, fellow podcaster and our dear friend, Kara Klenk joins us to discuss murder, Connecticut pimps, them Hargitay kids, Virgos=Serial Killers, married stand up duo, "That’s Messed Up: An SVU Podcast", secret smoking, Fox News Alumni, teaching english in Italy, The Ice Storm, smoking weed with Fin & Munch, Kara's uncle Tony Hendra, Bob Saget, being a Page at NBC, Bette Midler: Beaches & bum outs, Matt Lauer's free wine and translating for Al Roker, living across the street from Christopher Walken and Kara's Dateline episode.

Website:
karaklenk.com

WWTWH YouTube Channel

Laura Kightlinger
Twitter: @KingKightlinger
Insta: @laurakightlingerlives
Web: laurakightlinger.com

Daniel Webb
Twitter: @thedanielwebb
Insta: @the_danielwebb
Web: thedanielwebb.com

Transcript

0:09

Daniel, it's so great to have a laugh, especially with this next person. I had an interpreter. She's a member of the German consulate. She won second prize in the Bavarian donut eating contest. I won first. Please welcome the amazing comic and good friend of ours, Kara Klenk. Yeah. Wow. Hi, darling. I haven't seen you since the finals of the contest. I know I've been. What is making it? Sniffing it. caked on as a glaze. Bavarian donuts or just donuts with cream and Bavarian cream. It's kind of my favorite. You can't walk past a donut, I just. No matter what. I can't walk after a joint eating competition. I know. Well, yeah, and I can't walk past it. I have to always get it. Thanks for coming. Thanks for me. This is a dream. I know you. Guys. And your podcast. The idea of it sounds amazing because I love true crime. You just tell us. Okay, so for those who don't know, I host a podcast with my friend Lisa Trager. Another very funny comic. Yeah. we host a podcast called That's Messed Up, and it's about Law and Order SVU, specifically that franchise. The longest running, I think, live action television show on on TV. and, it's basically we recap an episode of the show, but we go all over the map. It's like one week, it's season eight, one week of season 22. You know, like, we're not going in chronological order. And then we, recap the true crime that it's based on. And then we interview an actor from the show. And a couple times we've interviewed, like a showrunner or a writer, but mostly the actors that are in the episodes. And do you ever get them in the people that the true crime is based on? Do they ever? We never really dip into that, but I will say that I was contacted by a family member of someone whose true crime I covered, and I was. What were they saying? I was really. They were just like, you know, there's more information about this case if you want to know about it. But, you know, because it's not everything that's on, like, the internet's not true or whatever. And I was like, okay, but the episode was out and there was nothing like, you know, I didn't really want it, I did it. I was too nervous to engage, to be honest. Right. Right. Yeah. what is your what's your favorite kind of crime? Just a murder. An old fashioned murder. what's my favorite kind of crime? I don't know, like the great question and Murdoch stuff, right. I like embezzle. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Things like when people like when they, you know, you just find out, like through. Oh, this. You know, they bought this house. They bought this, this. Oh, no, we bought it. You know, like all the lies that build a building. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you like a white collar criminal, I guess. Yeah. See, she has so much class. Yeah. No, we we definitely have covered, though, like embezzlement. We've covered like, wild, like, there were these two. There was a whole arc on Law and Order SVU where these two, I don't know what the. You know, a woman is a madam and a man is a pimp. You would see that like un-pc to say pimp, I don't know, like they were like, he's not a John. He's like the the guy running it, the broker, the basically two brokers, a man and a woman who are fighting each other in the Law and Order SVU episode. And then it was in real life as well. One of the women was like a soccer mom who became a madam so quietly and, but was running a very like had politicians and like famous people like on her roster or whatever. And then or not her roster. Her client list. Yeah. And then the guy was like a wild man who, like, moved to Connecticut. And I'm from Connecticut and I, like, took all his money and moved out to Greenwich and acted wild and had these big parties stuff. And I was like, you're going to stick out like a sore thumb in Greenwich. It's like, yeah, Greenwich is old money, you know what I mean? Like, you're gonna notice when, like, literally a pimp moves to town and starts having, like, pool parties. So, those kind of crimes are so funny to me. Like, just like when there's, like, social society stuff going on, too. I like a pimp moves to town as a kind of an update of Our Town. Yeah. I think one of my there was a TV show called Autopsy and with. Michael, Doctor Michael Barton, I. Think. Yes, yes, it was on yo. Yes, it was on HBO. He's on. I are both obsessed with it. We reference him all the time. Okay. So but he was around in like 2000, right. Like there was an older. It was like on in the 90s or I think because I watch it as a, as a kid. Yeah. And then I don't know if they redid it or they just it's like everything from HBO is on Max now. So like I don't know. But it's the same doctor, right? Yeah. He would like examine people's of like, vomit or like their stomachs to find out what time they died and like, so trace it. Back to that blew my mind was they found this woman's body on a hillside in Colorado, and they could prove that her body had been moved because, it was the plant matter that was all over her body didn't grow on the shady side of the mountain and grew on the sunny side of the mountain. It's like a leaf. Solve the crime. But the best. This was an oak cliff, which I love, which is a part of Dallas. And according to them, an underdeveloped portion of the Dallas area. two sex workers had killed their pimp, and and who was in bad good for them for like saying get the money. But while the way they were able to tie it to one of the sex workers was because in the middle of the murder, she took out her gum and, like, put it on the nightstand. Find that shit all the time. Oh, cigaret butts smoked a cigaret after they killed someone. She had fillings that were so specific that match to that, right? Oh. The gum. Well, you know, that's why I'm. I'm really fascinated with forensic entomology and that's it. That's I mean, that's when, you know, there's a dead body and then there's certain kinds of bugs that are in the body. They're like, you know, like they they uncovered this dead body and they, they found that there are a certain type of maggot that. What did you call me? Yeah. Imagine. Oh, no, not you. I was a maggot fagot. and they, they said, well, this type of, you know, bug, whatever, this maggot, it doesn't, go into a body until it's been there for months and months and months and months and months, and that's how they. Can trace it. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I love that, yeah. Like the the body tells a story is like what Michael Martin used to say or like. Yeah. And like, no criminal doesn't like you always leave evidence. Yeah. Whether it's late. In here. Or like, you know. But now too, I'm keeping up with DNA now, with the. Yeah. That every, every cold case is being reopened, which I think is really amazing. I they can. Find how people are being exonerated from DNA. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. They ended you know, there's no you don't get like, oh. Here's $100,000. Sorry. We put you in jail for 20 years. Like there's no, what do you compensation? Oh, yeah. Well, you get sue your district and stuff or like your county, because, remember, in making a murderer, did you guys watch that with the guy from Wisconsin? That was like the huge Netflix documentary that everybody was obsessed with. It was this guy who went to jail for like, almost 20 years for a rape that he did not commit. Wow. And he was about to get millions of dollars from Wisconsin or his county or whatever. And then he was convicted for murdering this girl. but like, the whole documentary is like, did he do it or is this them setting him up again so that they don't have to pay? Like. But wow. And I'm like, I'm such a sucker for these docs. Like, you know. Oh, yeah, they make it specifically with the slant that this guy's innocent. And I'm like, he didn't do it. And then you talk to anybody with like common sense. They're like. Wow, wow, I love the Durst documentary. Oh my gosh. Thanks. Yeah. That's you know, that's coming. Did I kill them all? Of course I did. What does he say. He goes killed them all. Of course. Yeah. That's so crazy. There's a second one that just came out. Yeah, yeah. Aftermath. I don't know. I haven't watched that one yet, though. Yeah. How crazy. I can't ever, get over the fact of the fact that Mariska Hargitay was in the car with her mother, which is a gruesome whatever. And here she is every day doing these, like, gruesome crime scenes. I'm like, what is it in her therapy that she can't? But she's like, get. Away from the accident. Scene. But she's also, like melded with her character. Like she is this, like, empathetic person that like, started this like foundation called Joyful Heart and like, works to like end the backlog of rape kits. Like she's literally like doing all this advocacy like because of her character in her show. Oh that's amazing. Like, so now I think it's like she thinks that's like, probably what she was put on the planet to do, you know? But like. Yeah, when I, her mother wasn't actually decapitated. In fact, she did. They went under a car, right under a truck. And the rumor is that she was a commentator, right? Yeah. That's true. Yeah. And now, like, the trucks have a bar on the bottom of them that's called a mansfield bar. Shot of. After her. Whoa. So that you cannot go underneath a truck anymore? That's because of. Her? No. Wow. But the three kids are in the backseat with her. She had three kids, I think. And Mariska is one of them. That's not. And her other brother, Mickey, owns a plant shop in West Hollywood, right? Right. He's Mickey Hargitay's plant or Mickey's plants or something. Yeah, yeah. Wait, I've been there. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. Not the one. Yeah, it's across from the dispensary. Yeah, I don't know. They. I have plants from the. I have a, I have a mansfield plant. Yeah. Yeah. You do you see the DNA? Yeah. It's in the DNA. I love this town. Yeah. One time I met this lady, it was after a show, and she was. I was, she was like, come here, come here. I want to talk. I want to talk with you. Yeah. She goes, you don't know who I am, but I know comedy. I'm like, who are you? She's like, you don't know. But anyway, let me tell you. Talk to you fast. You really funny. But you need to slow down. I'm like, who are you? And she goes, you don't know. My mother was Shari Lewis. I'm like, like lamb chop shirt, you know that? I was like, of course I. Yeah. That's I love living in stupid LA is because you run into people like. hey, man, you don't know me. That's just so. Good. Oh, yeah, I actually, if you want to hear. Oh, crazy true crime story. Yes. When I first left Hollywood, I had this landlady who was, you know, a little bit eccentric. But we got along, and she, you know, whatever she would say. Kind of weird. Like when I was signing my Lee, she goes, I know I said, you could have a cat, but, you can't have a panther. And I was like, okay. And she was like, because we had a, we had a, a person that tried to bring a panther and I go, yeah, man, I don't even have a cat. So like, I'm not jumping up to Panther yet. Yeah, yeah. And anyway, she just was kind of wacky. And then I found out after I moved that her mother was murdered in the Wonderland murders that are like famous Hollywood murders. And Jimmy Garoppolo played her mother in the movie. Wow. She in the movie. That's like with Val Kilmer. That's called like Wonderland I think. Yeah, yeah I don't I haven't seen that. But like can I tell why we just played a theater. We it was Margaret Joe's show, in Yakima, Washington. Yeah. And the theater had ghosts. It was the theater. People were telling me all about the ghost. It was great. And apparently it was haunted by a panther, because in vaudeville, there was a there was an act that had animals, and a panther was one of them come to bite me. And, the panther died or was sick and they but they still had two more shows that weekend. So they just put the Panther on ice. And oh, my gosh. the theater. I mean, I want. That to happen to me. Are you, But their ghost was a panther. Put me on ice. Yeah, put me on. Oh, I thought you were going to say something different. Because Washington state has had so many, like, murders and. So you're here's. So I feel I think murder is dictated by the region you live in. As in like in Texas where it's hot, there's irrational quick crimes like kidnap a girl and take her in a car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the Midwest where it's really cold and you're inside and it's winter all the time. You can you think about the crime plot? but then the. Because you. The crime does go up in the summer and hot in hot. Temperatures. Oh it does, that's what I say. The I feel like in the, in the colder places where it's like we're going to bury or, but we'll leave a straw so you can breathe for three days. Oh, gosh. Kind of. Crime. Like they try to stretch out the torture. Yeah. They're more like here. Yeah exactly. They're like. Yeah. We covered a case where a guy in Alaska was kidnaping girls and bringing them to his, like, reserve, where he lived, and he was hunting them. Wait, no, that's not the coffee shop. The the, the he was called the baker. The butcher or something. The baker. The candlestick maker thing. Yeah. I'm sure there's the kid who. Okay. But who's the crack that was in? He was a serial killer. And the last he got busted. Because it was the girl in Alaska who was working in the coffee shop, and he came up. It was the last customer and bought something. But that's the last time she was seen on video. But it turns out he was a serial killer. That was. He would, stash, like, caches of weapons and kill kits around the country. Kill kids. I know, right, that should be our band name. Right. Ma'am, please welcome to Kill Kits. Yeah. And we do polka. Yeah. but no he, he like thought it out. Thought it out. But yeah. Yeah he was creepy because you just see the footage of for like closing up the coffee shop. Oh. Oh it's like over. do you ever think you are solving a crime in real life when you're, like, at the store, do you ever see, like, a kid misbehaving with their parents? Be like, I think they kidnap that child. Oh, well. I definitely have my eyes open for it. Yeah, right. Definitely like that. My co-host, like, always, tells a story about how she was in a cab one time and it stopped. And she goes, why are you stopping? This is not where I was gonna to get out. He was like, it's a red light. And she was like, because, like, we just, like, research this shit all the time, but. I don't think I've fully cracked the case, but I will say, like, from doing all this research and stuff, it's really crazy how so many things are just like crimes of chance. Yeah, like just like this horrible murder home invasion and murder that happened in Connecticut, actually, that I'm obsessed with. Because that's like my home state. Yeah. Like just these guys just saw this little girl at the grocery store, like, one day, and that's just like, caught. It's like, what if you didn't go to that grocery store? You know what I mean? Oh, it's just all like little things of chance and or guys that are out looking and, you know, you happen to be like, you know, if your car breaks down, whatever. You know, all this just like the chance of it all is so. But I feel like I'm very, I'm, I can't I cannot get murdered now. So do you know the the old signs that said, like, the the neighbors are watching? Oh, yeah. Yeah. The crime. Oh, yeah. I either had the I or that. Yeah. Those used to scare the shit out of me. Like I never felt safe. I see the. Eye watching. You. And then there's the one that had the literal. I was like, man in trench coat with hat and then just eyes. Right, I remember. Yeah, yeah, that was what the. Neighbors are watching or something like that. And I remember asking my dad being like, what is that? It's like, it's to, it's to watch for burglars. And then that I thought that meant there were burglars present. Yeah. And so as a. Kid, it scared the shit out of me. Yeah. Because it looks like Inspector McGraw for whatever. Yeah. I'm watching your neighborhood. Yeah. That's great. But you also thought. No, don't don't peer meant you can't be dumped at the area. Like I did the no dumping zone, you know that. But, you know, on the side, they say no dumping. Yeah, yeah, I saw that sign. And also just learned what being dumped meant. My cousin had just been dumped by her boyfriend. so when I saw that I was just in the car with my parents, I saw the sign. I was like, oh, you can't, like, ditch your boyfriend or girlfriend. you have to, like, leave them in a. Nicer food dump. Yeah, I really thought that. Not at not in this back alley, you. Know. Like by a lake or something. But it was Joanne's parking on, and then you don't care. What? Have you guys ever seen Henry? Portrait of a serial killer? No. Wait. About about, yes, I have, I think. Wait, is it the, Who's it about? Is it about the guy that's like it was based on? No. Okay. I don't think so. It was before that, and Michael Rooker played it, and it was just chilling the way it was shot. It was so kind of slow. It was. It felt like it was in real time. And it was just really, really upsetting, like all the ways that they tried to, you know, that they got that they killed people for fun there. Two convicts who got out and, yeah, they were two convicts. Oh, I've. I've covered their real life. I've told you, Larry, you have the story of the two real guys. But I haven't seen the movie. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, amazing. Yeah, yeah. And the director was incredible. There's the story in Houston. The kid, he was the college age kid who did the set up, got a hitman to kill his family, and he went out to dinner with them, knowing that when they got home, the hit was going to be waiting for them, and he was going to go in and take a bullet to make it look convincing enough. Oh, really? While his brother, mother and father were all supposed to be killed, the father lives and he knows his son did it. He's like been arrested and going to trial, and he still invites his kid to live in the house with him. Oh my Christ son paid a hitman who was friends to kill his wife and his other son. That sounds like this. Hankou who chicken murders. You know there's a whole murder. What? The Vanko chicken family. And that's an la. You know the doesn't go check in places. No. Yeah. Wikipedia that. Their food tastes so. Good. Yeah. The son tried to kill a bunch of his family, and so he did. He succeeded. Is that was NQ means fucking kill your family means. Kill your fam. How's motherhood increase your interest in crime? No. Thinking of killing your family? Yeah, yeah. Speaking of, I hope my kids don't kill me. It's actually been. Yeah, much harder to watch the show since I had kids. Why? Because it's a show about crimes against children and murders. You know, like, just. I don't know anything. Anytime I see a parent die, I'm like, what if I die? And I leave my kids, like, just with my husband? He doesn't know how to pay any of the bills. You know what I mean? Like the tough we. Used to, we would do that with our parents. we would ask who our godparents were. Oh, really? Because we wanted the fun. Aunt and uncle. Yeah, the like, down to earth. And Jews don't have godparents, so I never had any. What happens? I don't know, they just don't do that. They don't have like specific godparents. But like I had a my parents have a friend who's French and she lives in France and Paris and she was our Aunt Laura. And I was like, why do we call her that? And they're like, well, she's kind of like your godmother. But we were never going to like, go to France if anything happened. Yeah, right. My mom is one of 14 kids. She was like one of them. You know. She was like one of them. I'll take you like there was no backup plan for. If my parents were both. Like, just the numbers were. Yeah. They were just like someone I'll. We'll pop down the line. She's. And Carrie, you're one of six and. I'm one of six. Yeah. What? Oh, yeah. What order. And I'm done it too. Yeah. Where are you? This is. That's how. That's how the number of to. Get started. Is happening in the United States. Out of six. What number? I'm number one. Oh, you are number one. How don't. You forget. It? No, I can tell. are you managerial of your other siblings? I'm well, speaking of serial killers, you know, a lot of serial killers. If you look at the list of, like, the most famous serial killers, Virgos are, like, the most, prevalent. And I'm a Virgo. Wow. And I'm very organized. So I do think if I was ever going to kill someone, I would, with all my knowledge I have about murder. Plus, I love spreadsheets. I think I would probably get away with it for a little while, and. When you moved to LA, what were you wanting to be a stand up? you were a stand up, but like, what was the purpose of moving to L.A. from New York? Well, I thought I never wanted to leave New York. I was like, envision myself having kids in a brownstone in New York. And then I realized brownstones cost$7 million year. But like, Jared was like, where will we have kids? Like, oh, I one of these. And he was like, do you have any idea? Like, I just didn't even, like, think about I didn't know anything at the time. but my he had been like like being like, let's move to LA, let's move to LA. Everybody was going like, we just in New York. It was just like an exodus of like, you know, dozens of people every few months were like going out to LA. Which is it? Sorry. Jared Logan is. Yes. My husband Jared. Yeah. He's. And then he got a job writing on the James Corden show. I was just seeing stories about him. All right. I'm in. Tulsa. Out there. Yeah, yeah. And Virgos, by the way, are also really, really, really smart and funny. Are you ever gonna. Take care of. No. Oh. Thank you. Yeah. When's your birthday? September 20th. Okay. Just Sophia Loren and Michelle beside, nice. You have both of their energy. Yeah. The nicest thing. I can ever hear. Sophia Loren, without hearing a Joan Rivers joke where she goes. I remember when I was older than that bitch. there she goes. She's been so pulled so many times. She, has to take off her earrings before she takes a shit. Oh, there. Oh, my earrings. I have to make a boom boom. Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Go ahead. I don't know. What was I talking about? Oh, Jared. Okay, so we came out here, to do that, and then I wanted to write for TV, and I still do. And, I have here, but, that the the dream is continuing. Yeah. And then stand up. Like, I love stand up and I keep doing it, and I really enjoy it, but, once I had my kids, I was like, something's got to give, and I don't. I just, like, I never really saw myself as like, Joan Rivers, like someone on the road, like, late into my life. I just don't think I could, I, I wasn't even headlining before I had kids. It wasn't like that was going to start popping off. Yeah. So I love doing it. And I still I run a show in LA. I have a great time with stand up and I, you know, we'll open for people or whatever, but I'm not. It's not my number one thing. I would say. Your show in LA is great. I did it once. It was really fun. Oh, that's really fun. But it was. For the. Return. But it's really, it's such a good. It had such a good vibe. I remember. I mean, first of all, I was outside. Yeah. And, and even and I think that's, that's gotta be the hardest, you know. Think it is hard. Continue. We always we always also say this is the only show where you get heckled by helicopters, just helicopters flying over or like someone's car alarm. Yeah. But, thank you for saying that. Our show is very fun. I host it with my husband, and I was telling Laura before we started today that we have actually started to do standup together. Oh, wow. Because people, like, come to the show and they like what we do, our banter up top, and I'm like, you guys should work. So we're actually like working on an hour right now. It's like us because nobody really does that. Yeah. Like there's twin brothers and stuff. The twins that get up on stage together, but there's not like any duos that are like married. But and Irish bars. You could say that. I have Lucas brothers. Oh my God. Our friend Weinbach has twin little brothers that are Max and Nikki that they do stand up. It's like all twin brothers that I know that do. So yeah. Where are the twin girls? Yeah, I know the twin girls. They they, they run the row. Yeah, they're busy being billionaire. They're busy. But. No, but I remember too. I thought it was real. It was really funny that when you two were on, because you'd say something. And then Gerard said, no, that's not what happened. Yeah, yeah. We're trying to, like, figure out the line of, like, being funny and teasing each other on stage, but not coming off like you're watching like an annoying couple that fights at a restaurant. You know what I mean? Like, we don't want to be, like, nagging each other the whole time. So I we're trying to write material together where, like, you know, each one of us gets a moment where we were. I got I remember just getting the feeling like that you were a good couple, like you were having fun. And it was, you know, it's taking it. We're nine years married this summer, and I think, and 14 years together, and I think it's taken us this long to be able to do that because we started other projects together where we've just like, fought and been like, this isn't good. We shouldn't do this. And now I feel like we're at a place where he, I'm a little bit more of a sissy on stage. Like, if he makes fun of me, I get more offended. And he goes, you know, you can say anything to me like, I don't care. And I'm like, well, I'm just more sensitive. Like, yeah. so you're already being vulnerable on stage, just to be honest. Yeah, I'm I have it that. And plus living with someone like poor Garrett, you know, he has to deal with me. normally, anyway, he calls me his his teenage son, but also, like, doing this. And it's really hard because. Because he's. You know, he's taping and editing and I'll come in and, you know, when he's editing it. And I said, wait, and look like I need more, but get out, get out, get because I'm so vain. I don't know. But there is an art to, like being a couple that can argue in a good way. Yeah, yeah. It's constructive. Yeah. Like it's entertaining. I've just been around like I've been at dinner where it's like us as a couple and I ask me a lot about me and my boyfriend and another couple. I'm like, wow, you guys actually hate each other. Like, yeah, like. And we don't we, we like joke. We were like, oh, come watch us get divorced live on stage. Like, that's like our joke. But we honestly are not anywhere like we don't. We're really in a good place. So. But it's funny because, like I'm saying, all these boys that are twins together when they perform, it is like it does feel like the soldiers kind of feel like they're molding into one voice. Right? Right. They literally are so in tune with each other. And then it's like. When their voices meet and they say this, it's this weird sonic thing. It's really, what is that? So yeah, no. And it's really cool. And the Lucas brothers same thing, but like, it's weird. I mean, we're like totally different voices, totally different opinions, life experiences. Like, so it's, it is like to do a duo stand up act. I haven't even, I don't even know who to compare it to back in like the older days stand up there. Oh, she may know people, but like, yeah, we nobody's really doing that right now. So we're trying to. I love it you know trying to corner. The market. That's great. Do you like all comedy like that? I, I do. I have not you know, I would say like 80s comedy is probably as far back as I go. Oh. I love not not, not on purpose. I'm not like avoiding all comedy. I haven't sorted out. I, you know, what I was obsessed with when I was a kid was, Rosie O'Donnell. Stand up. Spotlight on the one. Yeah. Oh, I would see so many people about. Were you ever on that? Like, I was, I would see you do stand up on TV and stuff when I was a kid, but like, well, that. Was a long time ago. Thanks. Well, no, I mean, when I was like, you know, I was 12, you were 22. I know, I was just like. How if even I was probably 30, I know I want to, you know, what I want to do. Have you. Ever. I know, but I want to because I keep going back for you. I want to get my I want to get the cigaret holders like the. Love of your life. Phyllis Diller, we both. Yeah. And I never met her. Oh. Okay. Well I met her. She look at that. I do like I still, I went to a birthday party at the 90 when she was turned 92 which was fucking amazing and so funny and cool. And that was Henry. I meant, how do you know Henry from New York? Have you met? Oh, I know, but I, But no, I would like to smoke if I could do it like that. I feel like I quit smoking, but I always said I would start again when I'm old. But congratulations. Do you still smile? No, no, I quit a while ago, but I quit. A long time. Ago. I quit when I quit when I turned 30. I was quit for five years. And then at my bachelorette party, all these bitches were like, oh, they're like, you just have won. You've been quit for so long. It's like a big deal. And I slide right back. Like, if I have a couple cigarets, I'm like, buying secret packs. When we first moved to LA, my husband and I were both secret smoke. Fucking lovers. And not telling each other. And the way I found out was I would hide my cigarets under the seat of the car that was. He's never gonna go under there. Yeah, and when I went under there one time, there were two packs. Fucking like he's fucking doing the same thing. Brilliant. And I. Was so funny so. Fast. And he was like, I just at work. Everybody takes smoke breaks. So I go do it, and I go, I know, I just felt like when I moved to L.A., I was a little bit stressed and I just like it was slow and like it was so silly. I loved it. I was just like, yeah, yeah, we spoke the same kind. What's your brand? Well, we were Parliament smoke very. Did you hear the shame in her voice? Like I'm like, oh. When I. When I lived in Italy I smoked Marlboro like, oh, but in Italy they're heavier than they are. Yeah. And, I live Marlboro. That was me. Oh. I would bum a rat at a party. No problem. Oh, yeah. Wait a second. Growing up in Connecticut and smoking parliaments, doesn't that kind of give you away? Like, okay, maybe we're not rich. You moved from Connecticut to New York. So I went to college in Connecticut as well. What? I went to college at the same place Tucker Carlson went. Not to brag. Tucker Carlson and Jesse Waters, two Fox News nightmares. Yeah. We talked about, like. Tucker Carlson. They was like, this bad one, but like, Jesse Waters. Is that he's like, he was only like a class or two above me. Shut up. Oh, yeah. like he's the worst one. Yeah, he's really busy. Yeah, yeah. I love the kind of like, snark he gives. No, I had to, like, leave an alumni group for my college where they were like, a couple people were just like, Tucker. So great. He's really representing the school. And I was like, why? Oh, I like it. He's so gross. But like, And then after college, I moved to Italy for a year. Yeah, I taught English in Italy. Amazing. And then. I did Scala con le mani and Tosca. Running on the stairs with money in my. Daddy. Oh, falling down the stairs with money in my pocket. Con la money and. Tosca with my hand in my pocket. Yeah, it's a curse I hope you. Why did you text me? Oh, I know that's the only Italian. Oh, that's so fucking good. De la Scala con la money and Tasca. Going to crash. For real. I hope you fall down the stairs with their hands in your pockets. Oh, God. I don't even know. I don't know that curse. Oh, how about Conejo? Carajo pinata? Come at me. Do you want me to? What? Your pussy? No, this is my. This is my. This is my, roommate who was from the Bronx. That I guess used to say Hispanic. And she. And then when the alarm went off, she's, kind of hoping that. Come with me. Just let me let me fuck you can't, eat me something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's that Spanish cono corral that's Spanish. You said puta. I reckon that's the word. There was one when I was in Rome that my friends would say that was tedo and cooler a, my for you to wake up Lila was. That was basically like, I want to put my finger in your ass. I'm gonna put it in your ass and then let your hair on fire. Ha, ha. And let's call Sacha Baron Cohen everything. Bjork. Bjork was in a band and an Icelandic. I think it's like one word, but it's it's like. Like cork fits in bitches ass. Oh. It paints a picture. Like, I. Really just in one word. They said. That. Exactly. Yeah. But then I would have stayed in Italy longer than I was there. But my aunt lived in a rent stabilized apartment in New York City. And was that my parents lived in when they got pregnant with me. And so my aunt lived in it for like 20 something years. And then I was living in Italy, and my parents were like, your aunt's going to move if you want to get into that apartment and ever live in an affordable place in New York City, you have to come home. An amazing move. To New York. Where was it in New York? On the Upper West Side. Oh, Italian. I didn't were born in. I mean, it was possibly the house I was conceived in. Wow. Yeah, possibly. I don't know where my parents, like, did it, but when they knew they were gonna have a kid, they were like, we got to move out of a one bedroom. So they moved up to, like, Cabrini Boyle, like the Washington Heights area. And then my aunt moved in and she lived there for 25 years. And then I moved in when I was 20. Yeah, 4 or 5. Did you keep it? I know I lived in it for 11 years. And I was telling I was saying this before, I was telling, Garrett because, the guy who bought the building bought me out. Oh. And I was like, I was going to try to keep it, but I knew I was moving to LA and I was like, I could keep it. But if he finds out I'm not living in it primarily, he could probably legally take like, get me out. And so I might as well just take this money and run. And then that money sort of helped us buy a house in LA. So fantastic. But in retrospect, I'm like, he never moved his family in there. Like he was lying. He said, he's going gonna move his family in there. And that's a way that landlords can get like stabilize people out is if I'm gonna move my family in here. Oh, shit. So he just gave me money and I got out, and, it was on. It was on line, like two months later for, like, six times. What? I pay interest. Sure. So per all the Covid stuff I told you about not getting money and things like that, I was in trouble with my rent. So I started going to these online forums for like how to represent yourself and eviction. Oh my god. Wow. And get all your renters rights and then your Covid renters rights. Yeah. So but yeah, because I was so paranoid, I didn't know that no one in the building, like, had gotten through Covid without like, missing rent. Yeah, but it was one of those things where I was like, that's one of the things they can move in their daughter and kick your ass out. Yeah. Or they can say they're going into renovations and just pay you like a $1,000 hotel for sure. All these ways they can get you out so they can maximize it. But tenant law tends to favor the tenant, they say. So like you can fight a lot of things. Yeah I just yeah. So it was like the I forgot to tell you this. So when my parents moved into this apartment, it was my dad Kay Clank and my mom are Meissner. When my aunt moved in, they just change the R to a G because their name was Grace. And then that was my dad, Ken. And I'm Cara, so we. So my name technically was on the lease, but the lease started before I was born, so that's how I clear. It goes. Into it. and the landlord, I think, didn't figure it out. He was an Italian man at the beginning, actually, but. It was at the end. But it was, I don't know, a different kind of guy. a really rich guy who worked at a bank from Long Island is the guy who, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. where in Connecticut are you? Okay, so I'm from a town that's called New Canaan. If you ever saw the movie The Ice Storm, it takes place in New Cane. Oh, my. God, it's one of my favorite movies. Yeah, I. Love that film. When I was in high school and I was gagged because it was like ang Lee was the director, and I had just seen Sense and Sensibility and was like, obsessed with him. Yeah. Why that movie, like, really hit for me. all the, like, buttoned up sexual repression. And, Christina Ricci was in town, and they were they were all in town making this movie. And it was April in Connecticut, but they were coding all of the trees and leaves with, with this gel to make it look like ice and stuff. And I was like, I live in Hollywood. This is Hollywood. Like, I like we were just like it was a buzz. Like at our Wow and everything. So that was like, but that's the my I would say my town's probably only claim to fame, but it's just like a New York commuter town. Like people go into the city. It's like less than an hour commute on the train. They filmed Miss Congeniality two in Austin around the UT campus, and that was the most Hollywood thing I'd ever like. So mind blowing. Oh, the first one. I was the first one. Sorry. Because it was Candice Bergen who I saw her. Yeah. All I saw was her hair, like on the other side of a car. I was like, oh my God, Benjamin Bratt. Remember that guy? He was dating Julia Roberts forever. Of course, I sort of met him. It seems like he was on Espnu or something. Oh wait, no, Benjamin Bratt was on, I think regular, like, oh. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. He was on a, as I call it, original recipe. Forgive me, I, I am how many are there. So that started out law and order. Yeah the original with like Lenny Bruce go. Yeah Jerry Orbach and Jesse Al Waters and then Chris Noth was in that one as well. Thank you for putting the L in there. Yeah. I just want you to. Yeah. Oh, just Jesse L Martin, not waters. That's a fucking loser. I went to college with. But, but, and then it spun off to SVU, and then it spun off to Criminal Intent, which was Vincent D'Onofrio and Catherine Irby. Oh, right. Then that one got canceled. Then Law and Order got, like, canceled. Now Law and Order is back. But SVU has been on continuously for 25 seasons. It was the one that. Richard Belzer was on. Belzer was on his view. Yeah, because I've got his book up here. I'm. Not a legend, but I play one on TV. In the 90s, there was a lot. I mean, I know that, like cop shows or not, I'm new to television, but. Yeah. What was the one that David Caruso quit to because I. Was sure David Caruso was on CSI right. Before that. NYPD. Blue. No. what's it called? Hill City. Oh, Hill. Street Blues. That one. Yeah. Right. who was the one who didn't? Franz. Oh. Show does. And was on NYPD blue. And he showed it. I remember was the first time you saw. Me interviewed the woman who played his wife on our podcast, Sharon Lawrence. Did she? Fantastic. Oh, yeah. This was guys. Did you did y'all get Kathy Griffin on to talk about her episode? We want to. She was filming her TV show when she talked about filming that and how hard it was. Yeah, because she's amazing. It's such a good episode. We've covered it a live shows, actually. We did a live show. What I'm thinking about was our guest, and then Margaret came on and we asked her, like all these like SVU related questions because she's a fan, too. And one of our questions was, who would you rather smoke weed with, Richard Belzer or Ice-T? And she's obviously smoked with both of them. Yes, like my iconic answer of all time. She's like, well, yeah. And she's like smoked with like one of them. She smoked for that Snoop Dogg Thanksgiving. I was like, this is the wildest story. Margaret I, Margaret Cho is fascinating because it doesn't matter what person you mentioned, what famous person in the history of the world, she's like, oh, I know them. Yeah. It's like two degrees of Margaret Cho really got six degrees. Yeah, they're the guy she does know. Everybody. Everyone. Ringo I made I made a joke about Ringo. She's like, oh, he's really nice like you fucking. But the. And I feel like I can tell this because she's talked about in other places. But she and Rosie O'Donnell got kicked out of Radio City Music Hall for smoking weed. No, which I am like, that's a great story. And I think Rosie just talked about it on something. But we would love to get coffee. I have a friend who is friends with her that I've been trying to kind of be like. If you can mention it, because I would love to get her. Like, I don't know, she plays a lesbian. Yes. Who is part of a group called Les Be Strong and she hits on Mariska Hargitay, tries to kiss her. Yeah. And then it turns out in the end, she's dating a man, and she just want anybody to find out because she does want the lesbians to find out. And then when they find out, they're like, you traitor! Like, you get into like like. Kathy's a big fan of the show. Of our show. Yeah. You'll hear this. Yeah. Do you have into the other. We need you 30 minutes on zoom. How many? How many episodes does she do? What's the one. She gets out? It's like they love to have comics. Like they. I mean, Martin Schwartz been on it. Oh, yeah, Bob Saget. We had Bob Saget on our podcast Restaurant Recipes. like Margaret, I mean, they love to put I think it's it's unnerving to put a funny person as, like, a creepy criminal. Absolutely. Yeah. Martin Short was like a raping murderer of underage girls because he, like. Like the way that sex with a virgin felt like that. Ooh. And he pretended to be a psychic to try to, like, get closer to the cops about the cases. Like. And that's. You don't see Martin Short like that to me. Martin never would turn down a role like that because it might affect their career. I know at his point, but like. And I don't know, the the show's really changed a lot like current episodes are. They're very dark. But back when Belzer was on, there was like there was even though it's very dark subject matter, there was a comedy. Yeah, element to it. Like because it's like you got to laugh or you'll cry. How pressing all this shit is. And that element is kind of gone now. And so, like, I don't think you're gonna find like a standup comedian guesting on SVU anymore, but like back in the 1999 to like 2009 or 10. Yeah, that was a big thing to get that stuff. Yeah. Nixon won an Emmy for it. Like, you know. Yeah. Wow. It's that coveted guest. Let me get. This. I have to get this because, you know. Oh, I've. Never seen. It's a mercy. He was such a doll. Also to my mom. Richard Belzer. Yeah. We've got we've both stood in line. Well, he let me, like, let me cut the line cause I knew him from stand up a little bit. But he said he wrote something in here, to me and my mother. I am not a cop. Let me see my mom. Oh, it's said my novel. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought. It was maybe a memoir. Yeah. Oh, to Laura, my beautiful friend. Love, Richard Belzer. Oh, my God, let me. Oh, no. Everybody has, like, nothing but wonderful things to say about him. And he was so nice, my mom that. He like has when he, when he at the end of his life he was just living in France and they said this, his house would just be like drawers of joints and condoms. And he just wanted everyone to, like, live. Well. Yeah. Cheese and baguette and stuff. Yeah. What was it? Amazing. Well, you know how he got his place in France, right? No. Okay. He was on a show or something with Hulk Hogan who nearly broke his neck. Yeah. And so. That's right. Yeah. And so I think Hulk Hogan offered the the money to. He was really nice about it. I don't understand when you get a good check if I ever get a good check. Goodbye. Yeah. I mean, I like a place in France. See you in Iceland. Yeah. You're. Of course I'm to come and have my condoms. Yeah, but I'll see you. I think I would. Yeah, I feel the same. Like I would go. Yeah. Thank you, thank you. Goodbye. Like, I don't understand these like psycho gazillionaire who keep keep going. Yeah. What are you. Going to go? Higher and higher. That's not good ambition. That's AI, is it? Ambition? I think we're mislabeling it because. Well, yeah, it might not be an ambition. It might be a malignant narcissism. You know. I know we're looking at narcissist. Yeah, yeah. It's like I'm. Because like Liza says that all the time too. Like whenever we're talking about like also like I said, as we talk about nepo babies like kids are. Oh, yeah. Rich. It's like, why are they trying? She's always like, why are they trying to do a clothing line? Just be rich, stay home. But I'm like, I'm like, I get that because it's like, you don't want to just have your whole identity be taking your parents money. I can understand that. But if you're like somebody who struggled and struggle, that you know what it's like to not have any money and then you hit it fucking big. Yeah, yeah. Bye bye. See you later. I never understand that. Yeah. What was it like to talk to Bob Saget? He was so great. Yeah, he was so great. And he had known my uncle, who was, like, involved in comedy. Who passed away was your uncle? My uncle's name was Tony Hendra, and he was, in the movie Spinal Tap. He plays, my God, he plays the manager of the band. He's like a British guy. Yeah. My God, like a lazy eye. Yeah, I know that, uncle. Yeah, sure. You guys have met, like, over the years. I think it's. Spinal Tap is my favorite. One of my all time favorite movie. Yeah, that's. I've always talked about. Yeah. So he's my uncle and. And he and he made this book that is so hilarious that I still to this day, like, want to get my hands, like, called tales from the crib. And it's literally just photos of babies with funny captions. I, cover of the book is Bob Saget and my uncles heads on babies bodies in a crib. Wow. Oh, wow, wow, wow. And I just thought it was the funny. I mean, they wrote it when I was, like, ten. I was like this. They were friends. They knew. Each other. Yeah. Back at back in the day. And so like I talked about that and we talked about his SVU episode and he was like, so, you know, he, he was like really so great. And he just like was he felt really like privileged to be honest with you and like talked about it like he took it really seriously. And, you know, he was great. He answered all our questions and. Okay, I'm sorry. Here's the this is what he meant. He fell asleep. He had fallen asleep. Finally, during Bob Saget. You need to respect the memory of the victim, okay? Are you enamored or excited meeting famous people? I am, I get it, I get stupid, I. Am, but I try to play it chill, but, like, you know, if you meet somebody that you really, like, been obsessed with for a long time or whatever, I'm always feel like I'm like, just acting. Like. Well, like, okay, so I was a page at NBC, so I worked at Conan and I escorted all the guests up to their dressing room, got them their plate of cookies, had them sign their paperwork, and then I brought them backstage before they went out to eat. And that show, that has to be a really hard role to play, because you can't really fangirl out. Exactly. So I would always be like, hi, welcome to Conan. Like right this way. Like I really never told people I love your work or anything like that, but when I met Tina Fey, I was just like such a big fan. like. I would like was so into 30 Rock and was just like, do you want to is it this way? Like, I just, I kind of was, but I don't, I don't know, I, I really try to play it cool, I guess, but who knows. Oh my God. 60 as an NBC page, who were the who are the bad behaving famous people? Who are the worst people? We'll bleep all the names. Oh, you all know. Oh yeah I'm like well. We'll talk. I don't want it. Well okay. You don't have to okay. Well I'll just tell you okay there we go. Can we Bleep the names. As a comedian okay. Yeah I'll just say it was a comedian and I could I'll tell you guys off my I don't want to get like you don't want to work in this. You're fine. But I whisper Scientology. Yeah. I also like, I, listen, so this comedian came on and he was really obnoxious and annoying, and, he. That's all. And I was like, you're like the least famous person I've escorted, and you're so worst. Yeah, like. But I'm at, like, Jake Gyllenhaal. I'm so hot in person. I really never really cared that much about him on screen. I mean, yeah, guy, but in an elevator with him, I was like, you don't look directly in my eyes. Like, so, so good looking. Who's the guy from? What's the soccer TV show that's super popular? Oh, Ted Lasso. So who's the handsome guy who does stand up around town? Brett Gold, Brett Goldstein, that guy. Have you seen him in person? No. Yeah. Holy fuck. And I've been. Friends with him since before that show. Do you do my show? Yeah. And I would always go, this guy so fucking cute. Does he have a girlfriend? Yes. I'm married, but, like, why is it somebody, like, who's on this and then, like, cut to two years later, he's in like, the hugest star in the show and everybody like, wants to jump him. I've never. There's just that he's so angular. There's just something about him and he's not even my type or anything like that. But he is devastatingly handsome in person. I love his like dark. I love the dark. Hair, the shadow. It's like. Not when married to it all. Yeah, like the complexion. All of it. The dark hair. He's got these corners. Yeah. Everything has a corner. And he's a nice guy. I mean, he's I don't know if fame has changed him a lot, but I've seen him since he got famous briefly. And he's seems like such a lovely guy. Here's my family. Come to our show. All I'm trying to do is try. I'm trying to look like the guy that I used to have a crush on, David Gilmore. And then I just got my haircut to my. Yeah, yeah, you're the single wife. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love my. Ex. Gilmore on Pink Floyd. Oh, I thought you said you crush Christ. Okay. Oh, God, I wish. I I'm so Stockholm syndrome for any straight guy. That's just nice to me. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, not flirting, not insecure, just straight middle of the road, like. Hi. How are you? Just like. Oh, melting. God, I love you. Thank. He's. Thank you for respecting me. Like, how pathetic is that? He could not have been nicer. So I was like, oh my. God, you're. Oh yeah. And you're super. Nice. Hi, this is Sofia. I got really tongue tied. it was an Emmy, one of the Emmy Awards shows or whatever. And I saw Jenna Rollins in the ladies room, and it was like between, you know, breaks or whatever. And it was just her getting ready to leave the bathroom and me standing in the hall going, oh, oh. Oh, oh, my God. And she was like, oh, well, Thanks, honey. Yeah, I'm just really sweet because I just, I you're so you're you're incredible. And I just, I can't really I was a one time, I think I got totally, totally starstruck. No. yeah. Have you seen her since? No. She has a warrant out for my arrest. I never know what to say after I say I'm just. I just love your work so much, and they're. They're like, thank you. And you're like, my. What you want is you want to say something different that not everybody says. If you want to make an impression. I have a little story for when I was a kid. So do you guys ever see the Woody Allen movie scenes from them all with Bette Midler? No, it's no lesser. Like whatever. The whole thing pretty much takes place in the mall in the town next to mine. That was my mall growing up. Oh, so we were walking around the mall, my mom and I, and I was just the biggest Bette Midler fan of all time. I mean, I still am I beaches like all my birthday party, auto. Take slinger. Auto tips. Before I knew I was gay. Yeah, I would sing. I would sing every word for you right now. Like that was my first one of my first tapes was the soundtrack. Like my birthday parties were. The girls would come to my house, eat pizza. We would do each other's hair and watch beaches. Yeah. I was obsessed with. I'd seen her whole filmography at this point in my life, and I was like, 10 or 11 walking around this mall with my mom, and I was like, mom, they're shooting this Bette Midler movie here. My mom goes, oh, there she is. And she walked right by me with her daughter. And I was like, and we followed her to a store that she went into. Her mom goes, go say hi, because I was a kid. I was like, go say hi. And I was like, I can't, she's with her kid. Like, I just. And then for years, my dad would I'd be looking out the window, the car. My dad would go, what are you thinking about? And I go, it's time. I didn't say hi to Bette Midler. Like, it was like, it's one of my like, I'm dying of your one day, so I can tell her, like, I didn't say hi to you as a child, and it's haunted me my whole life. she would have totally spoken to me. Now. I'm. Yeah, I'm. No, I'm an old lady. Just being like, I love you are excited. There's an award show where Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler. It's like an American comedy awards or some weird thing that doesn't actually exist anymore. But they they come out and they said something about, like, Lucy, we love you. If you're watching, we hope you invite us over for lunch. And she was. And she. Did. Whoa. There's a photo of them when she talks about that moment with Oprah. Wow. Yeah. Huge. my high school girlfriend sort of looks like Bette Midler, which I think should have been a read for a little bit as well. yeah. Totally. Like I should have been like it was. It was her song and dance that I love so much. She was one of the first people that I realized that people on TV and movies are so short, like I thought she was. I mean, I was also a kid, so all adults are big, but she's like five feet tall, so that's I was like, wait, what? It's a lie. Like you. Yeah. Cruise. And my favorite, when people are trying to take the piss out of Lady Gaga for being so revolutionary when they're like, your meet dress, Cher did it like all these things that she did first. And it was like, I believe Gaga performed as, like a mermaid in a wheelchair. And everyone's like, honey, Bette Midler did that in the 80s like, check it, read it. Right. It was like, yeah, she's the biggest fag hag. Oh, like, oh, God. so like NBC page, did you think, what was that? Not job choice. Career choice. But what were you doing there? Well. It was like this program that was, like, kind of hard to get into. And like, I had a family friend that worked at NBC. and I'll just tell you, it was Brian Williams, the the anchor. Amazing. babysit for his kids. So it's like he basically just got my resume to the top of the pile. Then you got to go in and do this, like, insane apprentice style interview where you answer questions, but you also give a presentation. And I was like, oh my God. So. So you. Babysat Alison? Yes. Wow. Yeah, I babysat. Can I tell you what was this show on MSNBC, The Last Word or whatever, I think. So I miss I have such a hard on, not in a sexual way, but in a nurturing way for like Peter Jennings. and like, now that Brian Williams aged into that kind of category when he was did the last word. Yeah. He was in that same I need a, I need a prime time male figure to like. They can like sort of I think they're trying to sort of, cancel him because it's. Like he was. Is he sort of like told a conflated lie. Said he was in a helicopter that he was shot at in Iraq. Yeah, but that happened. And then he had his show. They did bring him back. They did. They took him off of he was on fire. Yeah. He was one of the three anchors. And he lost that job and they gave it to the guy who still has it. But he was he was like such a nice guy. He would drive me to parties after I babysat for him and stuff. Like, very nice man. It's a weird thing to be canceled for, considering everything else that people are getting off scot free for, but. It seems like they asked him if he saw action and he thought he just meant have you had to. Fight like you? But they're people got really. It's the troops. You can't really the Iraq war. But it's also like to be a newscaster. It's like the one there's a comedian who lied about being a 911. Yeah, we're over that, I guess, because completely. And it doesn't matter. But he's the one that's telling me the news. I think people are the problem. Okay, you can't do that. But I hope he's allowed back because he's a lovely man. And I thought he was great for this job. The last word I loved his to, especially when Trump took over. I was like, man, I need someone who's like, warm. See this on this? Oh my god. See, now you said Trump and he immediately passed out. But did you think when you were at NBC, were you trying to like, climb any of that ladder? Yeah, I thought I was going to like, do comedy. I wanted to write. I wanted to get a job at cone, and I wanted to get a job at the Today Show. I mean, I was. On that. Before. I didn't know what I was going to do. I ended up leaving because I got a job at the Olympics in Torino, and I worked at the Olympics for the today show, and then I was like, oh, maybe I'll get a job at the today show, like, but it's like morning television. Like, that was my passion, like. But I ended up through that, getting a job with this producer who I worked with for a few years, and then he, like, put me on camera for stuff and like, you know, and then I started doing stand up because I had been doing improv at the minute. I moved to New York and I was like, I was one of those people that was like, I would never do stand up to the same joke over and over. Improv is magic. It only happens once. Then minute I started doing standup, I was like, oh, this is way better. Yeah, I like this way better. I mean, I liked improv a lot, but, But what was all that about? You're in improv, you're doing standup. You were wanting to be. I wanted to perform, like, yeah, I wanted to perform. I wanted to do comedy. I never really was like, oh, I want to be like a famous actress. I think I've always wanted to just be like the best friend in a, in a in a TV show or something like that. Give me wacky neighbors. Yeah, yeah. Like, never to have thought I would be an Anne Hathaway. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's not my vibe. But do you know the Laurie Metcalf version, the and Jackie story is that she moved to L.A.. That was her first audition. no. Yeah. And she got, like, wacky. And. Are you. Serious? She is so talented. I she's really incredible. In a play on Broadway, like, five years ago. And she was amazing. Yeah, I was in A doll's House, part two is what I was. I think she was part of the Wooster Group. Right? Like the. Yeah, she's a real jerk. Yeah. And if you ever watch that show on HBO called Getting On, it's her. Niecy Nash. No, it's so good. I love Niecy Nash. It's about people that work in a certain, I think, like a palliative care or a hospice ward of a hospital. It is so good. Yeah. So good. It only got one season, which is a shame. But she's so good in it. And Jackie and Laurie Metcalf, she's so good. She plays like a doctor who, like, had, is up her ass. It's so good. I gonna say it's got because of the name. It's got to be based on an English show, right, a British show. I was wondering, yeah. what was it like working for the Olympics? What were you doing? It was cool. I so I was a runner for the Olympics, so I was there with, like, a bunch of other people that were doing the same thing, and I. But I have relatives in Torino, so I lived with, like, a cousin the whole time, and I spoke Italian, and I was one of the there was only two runners who spoke Italian. Fantastic. Now to go do little errands and stuff like that. So it was cool. I was like, but I, I helped the food stylist a lot. Like there was like a food segment. So I would help him. He'd send me to go get like a specific kind of truffle or whatever. And that was for the Today Show. Yeah, like. One time I was holding a bag of like $2,000 worth of truffles, just a little paper bag. And I was like, that's great. Can I tell you I love I'm obsessed with morning television. Oh, yeah. Yeah, especially mid morning television. You like the view? any of it? Yeah. On how Hoda. not. Well, it depends. Each one I like to dissect for different reasons. The view is in and of itself. Right. but I had things like the today show where they're segments. Yeah. And there's a cooking segment that there's never enough time for. Right. We do not. We have to move or there's like a, a product, like there's the, there's like the pedestal one, two, three, four. And we're showing off the new products for summer skincare. Yeah. And you never make it to the fourth podium, right? There's never enough time. And so the, the rushed urgency of it all when nobody cares. Yeah. Nobody needs any of this shit. But today show 11 a.m. hour. Go fuck yourself. No. But it gets so. That it starts out with like, hard news at 7 a.m. by 10 a.m. it's like the best hula-hoop for your party. Yeah. Like, but in there I'm hooked. You want so obsessed with it. Yeah. Morning television. I can't get it. I worked with Katie Couric, ML hour, and Al Roker. I was on a hit with Al Roker where I translate it for an Italian person for 10s. Damn, I have it on VHS. What is the. Where are you there in the Matt Lauer scandal? No, I was there before, obviously, and he was honestly really nice. Nice guy. And he gave me a bunch of free wine. Not in a gross way. Yeah. Like he was like leaving town. And he goes, I'm leaving on my flight tomorrow. Why don't you go to my apartment with, like, the runners, and you guys can have all this extra wine I have there. And we drank all this Matt Lauer wine. Lester Holt two. I have partied with Lester Holt. He's. Who got the brat? Brian Williams. Yeah. Montreal. Great guy. Very nice guy. Yeah. I love is there a newscaster in America that you haven't? Fuck. Great question. Where is Connie Chung? In your phone? No one I wish I love. No Connie Chung for me, but, yeah, I don't know why. It's like you. I was just kind of doing anything, but I was just trying to figure out what I was going to do. And then once I started stand up and stuff, I was like, okay, this is. And then I really wanted to do TV writing and stuff, and I got like a couple of little gigs in New York, like do it. I got to punch up on the one a season of Broad City and like, punch up on another show. And then I worked on the show Girl Code for MTV, you know, like shows that aren't really, like, scripted shows but have writing and totally, you know, and then I just bounced out here to La La land. Right. And then I. Hear you've been going up and up ever since. Oh my God, you're on fire. I just yeah. And now we've got to wrap up a little bit. So what where do you have like a like if people want to go see your stand up, where to where we find you. Well, if you want to see a very old tape of my standup, it's on my YouTube channel. But, no. Like, I have a live show in L.A called Better Half Comedy. Every one which is called Bandini Weekend. Yeah. And then I have a my podcast is new episodes out every Tuesday on the exactly right now work. You can get that wherever you podcast. And then I'm just Kara Klenk on all the socials and you guys case anywhere you think there's a see you. And you go tour with your. Show. Yeah, we tour with the podcast. Yeah. Oh that's awesome. What was that like? It's fun. Who? Your audiences. Our audiences are like mostly women and gay men. And then the women who bring their straight male partners who are like, who start the show like this. Yeah. Like they had to trade it for a football game or something. And then by the end, when they come meet us in the merch line, they're like, that was actually. Pretty funny, Like, thanks, bro. is it with straight men they cannot enjoy like, a woman, you know, mean like. They can't some of them can't. I mean, a lot of these women have really nice boyfriends that are like, oh, my God, we listen to you all the time. Mostly because my girlfriend is obsessed with that, you know? Yeah. But like, and then, you know, I love the gay listeners the most, the gay male listeners and the gay women listeners. But is it wild to have, like, I mean, when you guys started a podcast, did you think, oh my gosh, we're going to be touring? And like. No, we had no idea. I mean, like, we didn't know how it was going to hit at all. Yeah. so there's. Like a personal interest in the show. Yeah, we love the show. And we were like, this is a good idea. And then we were on a network like, we're on a network with a pretty popular podcast. So we thought, oh, we'll get some people from them, of course, but you never know. Yeah, yeah, it's going to hit. They have there's other shows on other networks that are big that don't get listeners. You just have to, you know, that's the thing. That's what they're realizing in podcasting right now is like, they tried to give all these big fucking deals to like Meghan Markle and all these celebrities and stuff where they got multimillion dollar deal. People don't they don't want that. Yeah. They don't. They want like befriend the minutia. Yeah. Like, because they're not like, they want you to talk about every episode of Murder She Wrote or whatever the fuck thing is. They like, like, oh, I like this podcast about the office where those two ladies go through the office or whatever. I guess they're kind of celebrities, but in general, I think it's like finding something people are into, or finding a cool hook or angle that people like. And being a celebrity, it's like. Yeah, you have nothing to say. There is no life experience. I have a question though, too, about, okay, when you do a live show like that, do you do you have guests from the audience? No. So we so what we wanted to do was like, I had gone to see some live podcasts before, and I was like, people paid tickets to just see two people sit at a card table and just talk. Yeah, I was like, that's nuts. So we wanted to like kind of up it a little bit. And so we do like a full PowerPoint. There's like visual jokes. We do. We did our first tour. We did trivia where we brought people up on stage. Oh, okay. They did trivia. We stopped doing that because it was just I was like a little bit too time consuming. But we played games with the audience where they like, vote on stuff and we banter up top, and then we just we actually, on the tour dates, we don't talk about the true crime because it's like you're paying for a night out. I don't really want to tell you about, like some toddler that got kidnaped, you know? Yeah. Like we're we do the campy episodes like we did Kathy Griffin's episode. We do the episodes that are more like the one where the chief opens up a basketball and a gibbon monkey comes out like there's all these wild episodes. Those are the ones we do, the ones that are, like, a little funnier. Yeah. And, we do those on the tour, and so that's what's. That's our fun, though. Once in a. One, when you guys did it, a moon tower and Margaret was. Your butt. When we did the show, our first live show ever was that Moon Tower. Yeah, we had Margaret Bush. She was at the festival. I was supposed. To. Be there just with her recording, but that's the one time I've missed my flight, so. Damn. And it was like they closed the door, but I could still see the plane. I was like, I think I just, you know, I'm like, I lost my job. I'm not going to go the best of, like everything was melting down. But somehow I still made it there, like right after y'all were gone. But I remember being really, pissed because I wanted to be there for that. I wanted to be. She was so great. She was such a good guest, and I'm sure we like we were full that night, and I'm sure it was like we were new. Some. It's like, I'm sure we had some listeners, but I think a lot of people came from Margaret, which was really nice. Like we did a Q&A after and it was like my questions for Margaret. personal questions. Ha ha ha. For what do you like, ask me about her yapping about my life every every week for a couple hours. But is there a criminal that you would love to interview or that you've thought about? I've never thought about meeting or criminal. No, I. Really have it. Well, you know who you know who is kind of fascinating is Ed Kemper, who was such a violent criminal but is actually extremely smart and has, like, worked with authorities to, like, help them understand serial killers, like he would be somebody interesting. And he's still alive. Yeah. you. Know, I think it's also it's rare that. I mean, I think it's kind of like a stereotype that these and and I think it's a in fact, I think it's partly due to Hannibal Lecter, the, you know, the character that you think of or, you know, they're they're scientists, they're brilliant. You know, that's. Not the case. Yeah. Also that. I know that they're they're just they're just creeps and just, you know, scary guys. Are creeps. But also, a lot of them have been severely abused in their youth. Right. And a lot of them also got away with it for so long because cops never spoke across different jurisdictions. You can be committing crimes in Wisconsin and then move to Ohio and then go. Ted Bundy was in multiple states. Like nobody connected the dots. I was the Hillside Strangler, you know? Yeah. Cop. Yeah. That's why, like, the 70s were kind of like the golden age of the serial killers. what do you think happened to Natalie Wood? Natalie wood? Yeah. Do you know who was on that boat? I know it was Christopher Walken, and it was her. Husband. Peter and Peter. Lawford. No, no, no, Robert Wagner. Wagner. But Peter Lawford wasn't on the boat. No, it was it was Christopher Walken. Yeah. Oh, I'm talking was the. And the third person. Yeah. That's it. Oh I'm sorry, I, I mean she. Was deathly afraid of swimming. So how did she end up in the water. I don't get it. I don't know. But Christopher Walken lived right across the street from me in New York City for a. Shut the fuck. Up. I could see into his apartment. No. Wow. From the front stoop. My apartment face the back. Yeah. Did he ever say, like I push off the boat? Of course. Oh, no. Yeah, I. Got her, of course. No, no, I, I, I don't know, I don't know a lot about the Natalie Wood. It's so it's so, tragic, but, like, I especially for someone to die in a way that is their biggest fear. Yeah. Like, is so horrible. Well, and what about, you know, William Shatner's wife, who was an Olympic swimmer, somehow drowned in their pool. When did that happen? Why? When was that? In the. 80s. In the old days. Damn. I'm telling you. She hosted a show called rescue 911, and he couldn't rescue one of his own. Oh, no. Oh, my God, scared. The shit out of me. You should listen to his 911 call. My wife is struggling to get to me, but I. I know that she's in the white, she's struggling and I don't know what I do for, but I. 402 yeah, yeah. But that was really it that that is true. I should I get her out of the water or should I let her keep looking at me? Eric, I can't believe you haven't heard about that day. Oh, yeah. He let her drown, basically, or whatever. Didn't get the sentence. I mean, me, that's part of it because of the way you speaking. But he didn't do anything to help her, let's put it that way. Oh. Like, you. Ever heard that, though? Oh, about that. I think everybody should know. But it's really the. Truth. Oh my God. Okay, well, the next time you're here, I need some answers about Natalie Wood. Okay, I'll look into it and I'll look into it, and I will text you my findings. Okay? Yes. Thank you. I mean, was their motive were was one of. Yes. Were they about to get divorced? She was filming something with Christopher Walken. She had just gotten back together with Robert Wagner. There were rumors in the press about her having an affair with Robert. because Walken. Yes. They were anchored off of Catalina, and their receipt from dinner is in the autopsy because they drank so much champagne that. That's, like, all that was in her. wow. Which I find very glamorous, actually, I know, right? What a way to go. But that they were so hammered. Hey, my autopsy read 100% champagne in the stomach. Yes, you got to get in there. But wasn't was was Robert Wagner, dating Jill Saint John at that time? They had they were they had separated and I were back together. Oh, really? Because I think they were married when she died, they split up. And then there was an interim and then they got back together. But then there were rumors that she. I just don't like. Let's kind of move, but. I'll wait until Saint. John. No was with what was was with Wagner like, wasn't he cheating on maybe. Yeah, maybe. I mean, it seems most likely what happened was there was just like a fight went overboard. Right? Or they. You know, famously, I was on Dateline once. I was on Dateline because when I was a page there was this big this girl I went to college with, her husband, disappeared from their honeymoon cruise. Oh my God. Yes. And wait. There was what? There was. On the. Dating on the day you knew. Her. I went to college with. Shut the fuck up. So they were like. I went into lunch one day with my page friends and my friend. That was the Dateline page goes, did anybody here like, go to this college? And I was like, I went there. She was like, did you know this girl? Like, I sure did. And she goes, do you want to be on the show? And I go, I sure do. I showed up and I was I wasn't going to say anything like about about her, even though I knew some shady shit about her. But I only said nice stuff about her. Yeah, and I but I thought they're gonna do my hair. Makeup. They don't do that on Dateline. Yeah, no, I'm on Dateline like glam girl, bloated from college. I'm like, you know, like, no glam. They're shooting B-roll of me. Like, looking at books on a library shelf. Like Miss Your. Friend. Yeah. And then. And then I just I just talked about how literally do. I don't know, my quota is on the show. Yes. They go. So what was she like in college? I go, you know, she was always really pretty and done up. She did. She wore makeup all the time. She was a star soccer player who would never play with a full face of makeup. In saying, I was like, I was like. She was always like, really pretty and done up. And, you know, you just always think people like that are going to make happy lives for themselves. That's literally what I said. I cracked the code. Nothing bad ever happens to beautiful people. If you put your makeup on, you're not going to kill anybody. I talked about it on my podcast and I go, unfortunately, the clip is down. I can't find the clip anymore. And my podcast listeners found it. It's out. Oh, it's. shady. Shady fucking. Yeah. Like a Russian clip. I know, Russian website. Yeah. Oh come on. I really, really wild. So they never obviously never found him. They never found. But what happened to her? They got married. They got hammered on a cruise ship. They got in a fight, they separated. He was hanging out with these, like teens from the Czech Republic or something. Wow. And then somebody said they heard a scuffle. A scuffle? Yes. And then there was another tourist girl took a photo of, like, a blood splatter on the down the deck. And but everyone's like, well, he couldn't have fallen and made it off the deck because there's like precautions for people. It would have like set off alarms. But what's the thing that is? I don't think she had anything to do with it, I truly don't. I think that they unfortunately, I think that them getting so drunk is like, what led to this? Like, yeah. Like if she, if they had stayed together that night, hopefully this wouldn't have happened. But but I think it was some kind of reaction and but the thing that you find out is that those cruise lines are shady as fuck. Oh, God. International water. Yeah. Yeah. Don't. I was footage like that when she went on Oprah and the thing is she got a lot of press because she went on all these shows like Oprah, Scarborough Country and stuff. And she wasn't crying. She wasn't doing the women like, the way that a woman is supposed to grieve, act, and so everybody was like, she has something to do with it. She was just. Kind of poker faced and was like, we don't know what happened. And, you know, I I'm devastated. But like, people deal with grief in different ways. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. But she's like the they were going on all these shows to force Royal Caribbean or whichever one it was to give them the answers like, yeah, there's like not a corner of those boats. That doesn't have a camera on it. Yeah. No, but they're all like, yes, it's true. But the other thing is it's pretty easy for people to get shit hammered and fall off a boat like that. Right? But I think that they have like, precautions on those boats, like alarms that go off. Yes, go. Off or whatever. And so there was just a reason why they were like, he someone would have had to have pushed him or shoved him over like he could've jumped far enough or something, I don't know. so you sort of have interviewed, so I guess. I mean, I guess I do sort of know she's not. She didn't do anything. Oh, yeah. But I was on Dateline and I gave them a photo of my college softball team because me and this girl played on our college intramural. We smoked cigarets all we played, and, she I gave them this photo, and I go, can you just not zoom in on me? Because me and the photo is this. my eyes are closed, and it's my senior year. I've been doing nothing but drinking, and. And I go, can you not zoom in on that? And you bet your ass Keith Morrison was going Kara Klenk! No, they do right to my picture and zoom in on my ugly face. And there's. No, no. I look terrible. I say he's secretly hot. Oh, I didn't meet him. He just did the voiceover. I think he's secretly. Keith Morrison I think, yeah, I think he like the. Way his voice is so funny. I mean, I listen to this podcast that they did called The Truth About Pam Renee Zellweger. Or it's called The Truth About Pam. It's called what up with Pam or what about Pam or something like that. They did a Renee Zellweger did a show where she played the main character, but first it was a podcast and he narrates it and he what a voice for podcast. But wasn't he? Isn't he the stepdad? Yes. Okay. Matthew Perry oh that's right, that's right. So when he was being interviewed on the news, you know, when a news person is being interviewed, when they are on the news, yeah, they're not just reporting, but they know how to. I know how to answer a question like that. Yeah, that's my favorite thing. like I use person on the news. Yeah, yeah. It's that's it. Kara. We love you to pieces. And we. Thank you so much. Great. So we, if when people want to go see if they go to Kara, Klenk. I go, karaklenk.com. And that's got all my social stuff. Okay. video from 2016 of me doing stand up. If you want to watch that. It's pretty good. and then. Yeah, if you're in L.A. Come to better half comedy and see Laura and Daniel, but. Yeah, yeah. Super fun. I want together sometime. I would love. To be great. We'll be sure. Husband and wife. You can talk. We're also good. Yeah, I love it. Don't take our gig that we're. The more, the merrier. Watch out. Okay, okay. Thanks. Thanks for having. Fun.