Ho'oponopono - a Hawaiian Forgiveness ritual for conflict resolution and restoring balance

In this episode I explore the ancient Hawaiian forgiveness ritual, Ho'oponopono, which has been shown to assist in conflict resolution, restoring connections, balance and deepening self-love.

In this episode I discuss:

⭐️The significance of Ho'oponopono
⭐️How it became more widely known in western energy healing communities
⭐️Some of the available scientific evidence discussing its various applications in conflict resolution disputes, including in family law matters, as well as unexpected uses, such as being used as an  adjunct therapeutic method for more conventional hypertension treatment
⭐️ My own personal experience of using this ritual to repair conflict within my relationship
⭐️ Suggestions for how you can utilise it within your own relationships with others.

And to further help you on your journey of deepening your understanding of yourself and your relationships, I have also created the "Love Languages & Spirituality' workbook, which can be downloaded completed FREE, right here: https://07bb-tatiana.systeme.io/e709d8cb

Be sure to SHARE this episode to anyone you feel may be interested or benefit from this content.

And please don't forget to hit SUBSCRIBE to keep up to date with our episodes and give us a RATING below. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Intro and Outro music: Inspiring Morning by Playsound

You can also find me on Instagram @integrated_wisdom

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Tatiana: 1:25

Welcome to the Integrated Wisdom Podcast. I am your host, Tatiana Da Silva. Join me as we discuss what it means to live an integrated life and explore ways for you to create a life filled with greater meaning, peace, and connection by integrating the wisdom of spirituality, psychology, Neuroscience, Epigenetics and Energy Psychology are hoped to empower you to create deeper and more loving connections with yourself and others, whilst also paving the way for humanity at large to be reimagined and inspired to become the very best version of itself. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the integrated wisdom podcast. Thank you so much for joining me for yet another week. This week, I am going to be talking about an ancient Hawaiian forgiveness ritual known as Ho'oponopono. Some of, you may have heard of it. Some of you may not. So today's episode is going to be about that practice. I'll be talking about the origins of this practice, what it entails. How it came to be more broadly known within Western circles. Uh, and also how I've utilised that were in my own personal life. And the intriguing. Results that I've gained from doing that. and I'll be ending it with some suggestions with how you might be able to use it within your own lives. So let's just dive in. As I mentioned before ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian tradition. It's been deeply embedded in their culture. And Ho'oponopono if you were to translate it to English, roughly translates to making things right. Bringing things back into balance. And it represents, or it embodies the perspective of reconciliation. So making things right. But also from that place of recognition that we're all interconnected and so what affects one person affects the other and we're all intrinsically linked. And have a mutual responsibility for each other's wellbeing. But it's also a practice of self-love. It's about recognizing that when I heal myself. When I love and nurture myself. I then become this beacon of love and light for those around me. And I have the ability to then through my own healing, heal others. So this concept of Ho'oponopono this forgiveness, ritual and the impacts. that have been attributed to it. started to become more broadly discussed in more Western circles after a story came out about the work of a clinical psychologist within a Hawaiian state facility for the criminally insane. And so I will. Give you an overview of the story. Says and then discuss some of the different perspectives that came out afterwards. So it's in essence. This psychologist named Dr. Hen Lew was working within this facility for about a period of four years in the mid eighties. so 84, 88. I think it was. And when he started by his own account, when he started working there, You know, the facility was just an awful place to be. Staff were calling in sick all the time. The inmates were just super aggressive and it was a really kind of. Violent. And volatile environment. And Dr Hew tells the. The story about taking some of the files of the inmates into his office and as he was looking through the files and understanding their history, He started to mentally verbalize A couple of the key phrases of the Ho'oponopono. And so he would essentially just internally say, I love you. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. And it came from this. Perception that he had that anything that we perceive in the world, any difficulty that we perceive in the world is part of our own creation. And so in verbalizing these things, as he reviewed the patient files, And, you know, in response to some of the emotions that reading those files evoked in him. He in essence took responsibility for what he believed to be his part in that situation. And the story goes that, you know, in this time, He basically didn't work with the patients directly at all. He would just go into his office, sit with these files. And just sit there for hours Working through these process with each one. And allegedly the most miraculous thing started to happen. These inmates. These patients started, went from being really aggressive, really volatile and menacing. To starting to come down. To starting to become More easy to manage. To eventually even Being able to be transferred to a lower risk facility or in some cases, or in many cases, goes the story. They were able to be released completely. Until we eventually. towards the end of that fourth year. Most of the inmates had been released and it wasn't viable anymore to keep that facility. Open. And so the last couple of inmates that were still left, whose behavior had improved drastically where then transferred permanently to. Lower risk facilities and that particular hospital was closed permanently. And, some of the story also talks about how the whole ambiance of the hospital improved significantly during those four years, that doctor Hew was working through this process. The staff were no longer calling in sick, people wanted to be there. The whole environment. Felt more inviting, more peaceful. Until, like I said, the facility itself. was no longer needed. Which is a remarkable story. Right. that, something like that, that a process and energetic process like that. Could it yield such a result is mindblowing. It's in some, some might even say. It sounds impossible. Which I guess is why it's important for me to then to also highlight that. I have done some research in trying to find validations for Dr. Hew's story itself. When you research into the story. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of collaboration. This story came out into more Western circles through a book, a self-help book. Written by a Dr. Joe Vitale. Called zero limits. And out of all the different stories that he included in this book. About human potential for self healing and manifesting and all sorts of things. He included the story of doctor hew. And. When I researched inter the actual evidence for this story, unfortunately there's does non forthcoming. You anything. There's a documented rebuttal from a psychiatrist, a forensic psychiatrist that worked in the facility during that period that basically states the story is categorically false. Now so why am I telling you a story about a sequence of events that allegedly never took place? I think it's for a couple of reasons. One is. Often in spirituality circles. There are some remarkable stories that float around. That talk about the power of different strategies and how we can achieve all sorts of results with particular types of rituals and so forth. And. People can get so caught up. In the stories very little time is taken to discern whether it makes sense or not, whether it's legitimate or not. And people fall in wholeheartedly in to putting these practices into place. Sometimes to their own detriment making themselves vulnerable to people who are, are a little bit more exploitative. And sometimes lead to an unexpected positive event. To say that this forgiveness ritual has the power to cure an entire ward full of psychotic dangerous criminals seems fanciful, in fact, it has been shown to be not true. But that doesn't take away from the fact that this particular technique means some other circumstances on a personal level. yield some benefits or some positive impacts. And so. I guess the cautionary tale here is not so much in the use of the practice itself. But in the fanciful claims that are made are around this technique. To kind of draw people in to signing up for all sorts of things and following blindly into all sorts of practices that maybe in the long run, aren't actually being run by individuals who, who are sincere in their desire to help. And so whilst there is no evidence, of Dr Hen Lew story. That does not mean that there is no evidence for the technique itself. And I think. Why I am so big on. The importance for there being scientific studies for the need for a reasoned Approach or use of discernment to spirituality is so important because we run the risk of throwing the baby out with the bath water, right? Like for anyone who's coming across the technique and listens to Dr. Hen Lew's story. They'll either be blown away or they'll think this is complete. BS. And disregard it. And for those of you, or like me who were a little bit more. Curious to understand or. To question things. And when you go looking for the evidence, you don't find it. If anything, you find contradiction. It's so easy to go off. You know, this is BS. Not gonna waste my time on that. And. Where it's not a legitimate thing where there is no legitimate use to the technique. Fair enough. But we run the risk of completely disregarding a tool that could have transformative power. Because we're relying on the wrong evidence. Now, like I said, there is no evidence for the story that Dr Han Lew describes in In Dr. Vitale, his book. But there is an abundance of research on the ho'oponopono technique itself validated clinical research. Looking at a variety of different applications. From the use of it within the context of a conflict resolution within the use of in the therapeutic context. There's some research studies that I've read. That were done in the early two thousands to look at it, its application within a family law. Or family disputes context. And even a really interesting study that I read. Where they looked at the use of ho'oponopono to work, to integrate it as part of treatment For hypertension, believe it or not. So this study was published in 2007. In the journal of. Ethnicity and disease. Volume 17. And it looked at self identity using ho'oponopono an adjunctive Therapeutic method to hypertension intervention. So they were looking at whether the fostering of a greater sense of self through the practice of ho'oponopono how that could positively Or not influence one's blood pressure outcomes. So in the methodology, these participants were taught how to use the ho'oponopono methodology to develop a greater sense of self identity to manage their stress. Stress to create more internal, energetic balance. As a way of treating or working in conjunction with other more conventional treatment methods for addressing their. Hypertension. So it's important to, to highlight that in this study. When they were applying the ho'oponopono as a methodology they were measuring the impact on blood pressure, just through the use of the ho'oponopono method. Okay. So it wasn't combined with medication. They wanted to understand how just The standalone use of the ho'oponopono what impact, if any? And what they remarkably found is that blood pressure fell. For all participants after the use. The methodology. No. This was a preliminary study. Uh, the authors. Concluded that there was statistical clinical evidence that there was a positive impact. Through the use of the ho'oponopono in helping to lower blood pressure. But it preliminary research and, you know, it requires a little bit more review and more study. So they were quick to point out that he needed to be studied further. And I guess this is the biggest problem with these energetic spiritual practices. That unfortunately, within the broad scientific community, there's very little desire or interest in studying the impacts of these methodologies more seriously. The only institution that I'm aware of that is doing this. Consistently in very, very seriously. Is the department of perceptual studies at the university of Virginia that I have spoken about in a previous episode. They have this entire department where they're studying really methodically. A variety of spiritual concepts. But they're not yet studying. Energetic healing modalities like this, like the ho'oponopono. Like Reiki you know, another spiritual or kind of energetic healing modality. That's only now reached clinical significance or clinical validity is emotional freedom technique or tapping as it's most commonly known. So there is a really, I believe deep need for using the tools that are available through science. To study these, these techniques and demonstrate their. proper use so that people understand what they can reasonably expect from these techniques. Manage their own expectations. And use it for true transformation. I believe sometimes less scrupulous practitioners don't really take the care necessary. To manage people's expectations about how to use a technique what's possible. What's not possible. So I believe, you know, having the studies to, to not just validate it, but also inform it are really important. And so there is, like I said, there's, there's this body of scientific studies that have been done For the use of ho'oponopono in a variety of different contexts. And the studies seem to suggest that there is a lot of positive uses that this technique can have for that internal transformation. For that relationship to self. For unlocking our potential for self healing. But also for. alleviating conflict. Within really tense situations. Which I guess leads into. How I have used it in my personal life. I find that sometimes as with all couples when my husband and I are having some conflict and things are very tense. I will sometimes use this technique. As a way of just kind of taking, taking the edge off. The situation. And the way that I do it. And without fail every single time that I have used this technique. When we've had a conflict and I'm talking about a particularly meaty conflict. But every single time that I've used this technique. It has completely alleviated the tension. And, you know, There's usually a repair that follows. Very quickly after. We can both be quite upset with each other. Retreating to our wounded corners. And after doing the ritual. Usually within my. I mean, I haven't really tracked it, but I would like to say within less than an hour there's a big energetic shift in the dynamic between us. And we're able to, to talk through things more. calmly more lovingly and repair the conflict that we were having. efficiently and we can move on. In a really loving way. And so I would like to share with you the way that I approach this process, but I think it's important for you to. To also think about how you might want to use the process yourself. I've also used this technique with clients who have reported the same thing. They have also found that when they've used it in a situation of conflict, It has led to Spontaneous apologies and all sorts of things. So I do think it's, it's a remarkable tool. That can be used for. For those moments. So I'll talk you through the way that I do it. So that you can practice it or play around with it yourself. So often what I do. Is I imagine. Myself. So mentally imagine myself standing in front of my partner, but in your case, it might be whoever you're having. Uh, conflict with, or some tension with. And I imagine that from my heart center to the middle of my chest, where my heart chakra sits at the heart center, I imagined a pink light. big, bright pink light. Beaming out from the center of my chest. Connecting to the center of his. So we have this kind of. Really big, thick pink. cord, if you like connecting our, our heart centers. And as I imagine that. I've I say to myself mentally, and I say it seven times. The sequence of the ho'oponopono ritual and it's just four simple phases. It's just four simple phrases. It's I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. And thank you. And so I will say that. Seven times. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. And I will repeat that seven times, the whole time, envisaging myself and my partner standing in front of each other, connected through this bright. cord of pink, loving light. Going down heart centers. And once I've done the, that seventh, I've said the phrases seventh time. I imagined. Uh, again, connected with them pink cord, which expands into a bubble around us. Snuck a pink orb. And then I let it go. And like I said, without fail, it always leads to, to repair attempts, to a resolution of some sort. So it's a really powerful technique. And what's remarkable as you start to say these phrases over and over is that also it can create this expansiveness. This feeling of transcendence where you understand. That really you're talking to yourself, but more importantly, you speaking to the divine. You're speaking to the creation. Of All of these things, all of these situations. So, if we were to analyze what the sentences are saying, I'm sorry. I'm really what I'm saying is I'm sorry. For the part I've played. In creating this conflict. Please forgive me is literally. Please forgive me for this part that I've played. and help me clean this dense energy between us. I love you is a love you. And I love me. Right. It's about that nurturing of self. And. In loving myself. I love the other. And then finally, thank you. Thank you for bringing this to my awareness. Thank you for helping me understand. The parts of myself that I still need to work on. That, so that I can no longer continue to create this dynamic that doesn't serve me or a you. There's no real way that you can do this wrong. As long as what you're focusing on is in that desire that desire for healing. That desire for repair. That recognition that letting the conflict go is for the highest good of volume. So I invite you to play around with this technique. if, and when you find yourself. In a situation of conflict where there's a little bit of tension. Envisaging this in your mind? Running through this, this ritual. Like I said, I visualise the pink line between my heart center and my partners because we're in a romantic relationship. But you could also use a white neutral line, which is embodies everything. You could use a green light, which is a healing light. It depends on who you're visualizing. It can be a family member. It can be your partner. It can be a work colleague. So I encourage you to use that. And if you do, I would love to hear from you. I'd love to hear how you found the technique. What showed up for you? If you have any questions You can always reach out to me. On Instagram at integrated underscore wisdom. So I'd love to hear from you. And one final thing that I'd like to say is I am here to serve and I really want to be able to help people. By bringing these insights and bringing these strategies. To help people transcend suffering to help people improve their lives, to become more empowered in their lives and their ability to navigate their various needs and situations with greater ease. So. please share the content. If you feel like it will be of use to somebody you know, who may be able to benefit. From these topics from this information, from these strategies. I'm here to serve. And so I'll be eternally grateful. For any assistance that you may be able to give me in helping to spread. Some of these information more widely. So that it can reach people. They can be truly helped by what we're talking about here. So that's it for this week. I thank you so much again for joining me and. I'll see you all next time. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Integrated Wisdom. It is my sincere wish that today's episode may have intrigued and inspired you to reclaim your power and step into becoming more fully integrated spiritual beings. New episodes are published every Wednesday. And I hope you'll continue to join us as we dive deeper into what it means to live an integrated life. So if it feels aligned to you, I invite you to hit subscribe and share it with others who you feel may benefit too. You may also find me on Instagram at integrated underscore wisdom. Remember, each moment is an opportunity to embrace your divine potential and create a world that is more frequently inspired. So for now, stay connected, stay inspired and keep shining your light. Into the world.