The weKIN Rundown
Strange News and Comedy: A Perfect Mix
What happens when you mix Apple Cinnamon Moonshine with discussions on bizarre news stories, animal behavior, and sleeping techniques? You get one entertaining episode of the WeKIN Rundown! We kick things off by talking about Drew's upcoming comedy show in Sarasota, Florida, the King's Tide phenomenon, and even a revamped playground at Lewis Park in Bradenton, Florida.
From whales protecting seals to faking your own funeral, this episode covers a fascinating range of topics that will leave you scratching your head and wanting more. Listen as we discuss the incredible intelligence of whales, the outrageous prank by TikToker David Barton, and the bizarre case of a dismembered sex doll found in Texas. We even dive into the world of comic book fandoms and the power of pain when it comes to our mentality.
As if that wasn't enough, we also examine an international drug syndicate smuggling methamphetamine in maple syrup and canola oil, and the curious case of 'Hvaldimir', the alleged Russian spy whale. Don't miss out on this wild ride of an episode, and be sure to join us next week for more intriguing stories and thought-provoking discussions. Cheers to a fantastic weekend!
Support the show in any way possible! Rate the episodes! Share if you can!
What happens when you mix Apple Cinnamon Moonshine with discussions on bizarre news stories, animal behavior, and sleeping techniques? You get one entertaining episode of the WeKIN Rundown! We kick things off by talking about Drew's upcoming comedy show in Sarasota, Florida, the King's Tide phenomenon, and even a revamped playground at Lewis Park in Bradenton, Florida.
From whales protecting seals to faking your own funeral, this episode covers a fascinating range of topics that will leave you scratching your head and wanting more. Listen as we discuss the incredible intelligence of whales, the outrageous prank by TikToker David Barton, and the bizarre case of a dismembered sex doll found in Texas. We even dive into the world of comic book fandoms and the power of pain when it comes to our mentality.
As if that wasn't enough, we also examine an international drug syndicate smuggling methamphetamine in maple syrup and canola oil, and the curious case of 'Hvaldimir', the alleged Russian spy whale. Don't miss out on this wild ride of an episode, and be sure to join us next week for more intriguing stories and thought-provoking discussions. Cheers to a fantastic weekend!
Support the show in any way possible! Rate the episodes! Share if you can!
One, two, three, four. Hey guys, this is your host, drew, and welcome back to this week's episode of the Weekend Rundown.
Speaker 2:This is your host, daniel. That was a pretty cool intro there, drew.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, I like that. So your show's coming up pretty soon. What time was it at and do you have the address?
Speaker 1:to that place. It's 7pm on the 28th and it's 1923 Ring and Ring Boulevard, Sarasota, Florida.
Speaker 2:Alright.
Speaker 1:I'll be there for sure. It's like in your downtown. Yeah, i appreciate that man. It's going to be, i think, fun. I got some jokes. I think some of them are really, i think could be potentially, you know, like some of my good stuff, and then some of them are just like I need to. it's five minutes, dude. It's harder to fill than you think it is.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? like all the jokes that you're going to have to say, Can't you just tell one five minute long joke?
Speaker 1:That's hard as fuck, dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, the thing is is I guess you could tell one long five minute joke, but then, like, you got to also think like within that joke you need to tell other jokes because you're trying to get at least three laughs per minute. I didn't know there was a science behind it. I mean, that's why there's successful comedians, I guess, and unsuccessful ones.
Speaker 2:Fair.
Speaker 1:I don't know. This is just what I'm learning right now. This is just what I'm learning right now.
Speaker 2:Well, rooting for the three, three laughs threshold for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a pretty low threshold. I think back in the days of one liners it was like seven laughs a minute, which sounds crazy. That's insane.
Speaker 2:That's like more than one every 10 seconds. I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's why Rodney Dainter feel like, like, say those crazy, like you know, like is it even pleasant to laugh that often? I feel like at some point, like you're laughing and like you know, like when you open up like a hose or like a like you turn on a faucet and it's just easier for it to keep going because it's like on, you know that's what I feel like Like, once you get that many, you're like 12 laughs, steve, so you're just going to keep laughing at anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I just feel like it gives, it opens up health problems. Right, you can't laugh that long, i think you'll rip something.
Speaker 1:I think you can laugh that long. I think it's totally fine and laughter is the best medicine. Right next to this, um, this fun stuff that we're drinking Shot of shine A little little shot of shine. What? what do you got here? What do you have for us here?
Speaker 2:That's just a little apple cinnamon moonshine.
Speaker 1:Oh nice man. Where'd you get this from?
Speaker 2:Can't tell my secrets.
Speaker 1:I was hoping you were going to tell me, like in some weird way, like if I told you that I don't have to beat you with the tin still, that I made it with. Oh no, i didn't make it.
Speaker 2:Nope, wasn't me.
Speaker 1:Not that cool, yep.
Speaker 2:Actually, I just call it shine.
Speaker 1:It tastes really good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's actually angry orchard.
Speaker 1:Uh, it doesn't taste like angry orchard, but I put a shit ton of cinnamon in it.
Speaker 2:Just let it just marinate with cinnamon sticks for a month.
Speaker 1:I don't believe any of that. So yeah, man, How was your weekend?
Speaker 2:dude, i had a pretty tame weekend, to say the least. It was Father's Day and I didn't want to do too much, but I ended up. oh man, yeah, that was tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i was going to talk about it if you didn't.
Speaker 2:Well, so I tried to take Archer Fish in, but it was. the tide was pretty rough. I'm King's tide baby Yeah, and I couldn't, i couldn't drop the cast net in.
Speaker 1:Can you explain the King's tide to our listeners?
Speaker 2:Man, i don't. I don't feel like I have enough information on it to explain it properly, but I know that it's rare. It happens every once every few years, and it's just a rising tide that, like you, could drive down Riverview Boulevard and it wouldn't have rained for weeks and the road will just be underwater.
Speaker 1:Right, i believe, like I don't know, like the exact signs of it, like you were saying, you don't either, but I believe what it is is like all the lunar conditions and all of like the celestial conditions are like the exact perfect thing.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty confident it does have something to do with the moon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, And it's just like incredibly high tide on top of like super moon tide on top of like the fucking crabs around here making the tide higher, kind of thing. Yeah, you know, just crazy shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, I mean. so fishing just kind of was thrown out the window for us. So then we went and checked out Lewis Park, which they've halfway finished.
Speaker 1:Which side did they finish? the baby side? or like the grown up No, just the just grown up kid, like that's a thing.
Speaker 2:No, they finished the side that both of the playgrounds on, so it's like the big kid playground and a little kid playground. Well then the other side has swings and stuff which people have torn the caution tape off of and already started using. But they have a mini witches hat there. It's not like our witches hat, where it was super dangerous, like this one has like a plastic bottom that goes all the way up to it So that really doesn't swing like ours did.
Speaker 1:That's stupid.
Speaker 2:But I thought it was a cool touch that they added to the, which is like tried They added it for us. I feel like, yeah, whatever architect was there was like so what was the original?
Speaker 1:The Lewis Park needs a witches hat. Like it's and if you guys don't know what a witches hat is, basically just It's a giant like like octagon or or something like that.
Speaker 2:It looks like a giant witches hat. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:The chains. But the chains come down to the octagon and like it's like sits on this gyro and it like moves around like a giant swing and you kind of just hold on. It's like if a very dangerous. Yeah, if like a seesaw and like a swing had, like a weird baby that was like super overweight. Yeah, like you could also spin in a circle and you could also like kill your siblings on it.
Speaker 2:And I think the worst part about it was that it, when you could push it all the way in, so like that part you were standing on would slam against the pole, and I mean that was just enough to make you frickin fall off right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there was. There was no safety precautions. It was one of those things that was designed in the 50s and like should have went a long time ago. But like metal slides.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those are not designed for placed in the sun?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you just drop sand on it, just to shoot down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'd wear jeans like to the playground. Just because you're like dude, i want to go down the slide today.
Speaker 2:Exactly Like trying to have some fun out here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't care if I sweat. Do you remember being a little kid and like that one summer where we didn't have AC at all?
Speaker 2:I don't think I was in the house enough to ever notice if we had AC or not.
Speaker 1:You don't remember because we slept. What house was it, it was the, the 129th Street. Across the street There was one summer where we didn't have AC. It was terrible. You're so lucky You don't remember that. I don't remember. Yeah, good for you, bro.
Speaker 2:That was blocked it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just a thing to block out for sure. So yeah, man, do you want to start some articles up? I'll start an article, if you want me to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you want to start us off, that would be great.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah. Actually, I want to go back into the fact that we moved that overly gigantic piano this weekend.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Shoot.
Speaker 1:We skipped that. That was not fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I went to Lewis Park and then after that I called you up and you came and met me and we moved to piano. Yeah, it was not fun.
Speaker 1:There's like. There's like I love people, but there's like a herd mentality with people and one or two of them decided they weren't going to help. So all the rest of them decided they weren't going to help and they all just stood around and watched us try to move this thing. That weighs, like it's somewhat, but there's like pieces of iron on it that are painted like wood.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there was like cast iron on that thing, but I wasn't going to give up only because there were so many people that were watching us.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, but like that's like the thing. It was almost like hey, either help or go away, like yeah, no, but. I understand that this is your house and you want to make sure we don't fuck anything up, so maybe, like one of you can watch, but like the rest of you, go the fuck out of here.
Speaker 2:Like. At one point I thought to myself there's, we're not going to be able to do this. You know we can't. We can't bring this piano just two guys onto the back of a pickup truck. It's not going to be humanly possible. But then when I saw all of them standing and watching us, i was like, yeah, we're going to get this done.
Speaker 1:I totally was in the same boat as you where I was like we're moving it like inches by inches by inches, and then I was like dude, i'm not the guy, i don't think I can move this, i don't think I can do it. And then you looked at me and you said, if we can clear this door, that's like three foot away. It has wheels that can move like that, like long ways. And I just put every ounce of strength I had into that.
Speaker 2:And then they move long ways, a little bit. Yeah, but we didn't really have to lift it much after that, except for into the truck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, what does that thing weigh? Like like the same amount as like a fucking baby hippopotamus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe more. I don't know. I don't know what a baby hippopotamus was. I don't know what that thing weighs.
Speaker 1:It felt like we were fucking wrestling like an adolescent elephant in like a mud pit, like in the middle of like like I don't even know, like the heat was just so much and the like inches we were trying to move it, and then the fact that we had to put it like up on its end to like slide it into your truck and getting it out of the truck. It almost crushed me. That was cool, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you forgot about that, right. Yeah, I thought you were dead. Thought that was it.
Speaker 1:I thought I was going to finally get that cool robot leg I always wanted.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, no, I didn't think I was going to be able to get the piano off of you. So I was like he's just going to have to lay there and tough this one out.
Speaker 1:It's like that. What's that movie where the guy gets like the boulder stuck on his arm?
Speaker 2:and he just sits there and then he cuts it off 48 hours or 72 hours Like just 72 minutes under a piano. Like a gangster.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that guy's badass man.
Speaker 2:Jesus. How do you get the willpower to do that?
Speaker 1:Oh, because he was sitting there for long enough and like at first he was like don't give a fuck. Yeah, somebody's going to save me, Somebody's going to save me. And then it was like hey, no one's going to save me, I could save myself or I could stay here and die.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, he made that decision in three days. Like people ask me oh, since you don't eat vegetables, if vegetables were the only thing on earth, would you eat them? And it's like, fuck, yeah, i would eat the vegetables. I'm not going to eat them on the first day, i'm not going to eat them on the second day and I'm not going to eat them on the third day. Yeah, but it's going to take me a week or two to put a Brussels sprout in my goddamn mouth. And this guy fucking cut his arm off with a pocket knife. After three days, 72 hours.
Speaker 1:Well, that's you got to say. That's different circumstances, because one his arm was probably already dead, Like being crushed under that boulder for 72 hours. It was probably already couldn't be saved. Well, he said he like stabbed it and like air came out, but no blood, like a fucking tire.
Speaker 2:He said, when I stabbed it, air came out with no blood and it smelled like it, like decay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Oh fuck.
Speaker 2:But he said the problem was once he got to the bone and he had to crack the bone. He said he had to like put his weight onto the other side of the boulder and then like pull his arm up. He had to keep doing that.
Speaker 1:I'm laughing because that sounds terrible.
Speaker 2:He said even worse than that once he broke the top bone, he had to break the bottom bone. So then he had to grab the bottom side of the boulder and fucking pull on that until he's feeling it the whole time Feeling the bone. Yeah, yeah, the bone he felt. He felt he felt that shit, fuck that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that guy's hardcore Your bones don't die, bro.
Speaker 2:I mean, i guess you don't feel it. I guess you don't feel a broken bone. Okay, no, you don't feel it.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:No, I think a broken bone is like the shock of it.
Speaker 1:It's like psychological, because you're like you hear it, You're like that's my bone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like it's more the psychological thing of it and fucking maybe if it breaks skin or something.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But I don't think.
Speaker 1:Like you said, no blood was coming out, it was air.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, Would breaking a bone hurt? I've broken many bones but I know when I broke my arm it didn't really hurt that bad. I know when I broke my collar bone.
Speaker 1:Every time you broke your collar bone, it hurt.
Speaker 2:Well, the first time I was a child and everything hurt.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right.
Speaker 2:When I broke my arm, I freaked out until I realized I remembered somebody told me that pain's in your mind and I was like put a hat over it. When they put a hat over it, i calmed down and it didn't hurt anymore.
Speaker 2:Even though it's sideways Even though it was still fucked up and the paramedic was walking over. But then I remember the second time I broke my collar bone, i went like two weeks with that before I even went to the doctor and it hurt, but it only hurt like whenever I hit it with pressure or something like that. Right, so if you snapped your bone real quick and real clean, i don't know that that would hurt that bad?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:It would hurt afterwards. but I don't think the initial, I think the initial would be shocked.
Speaker 1:I don't know how clean you can make it with a boulder.
Speaker 2:No, it's not going to be clean? What are you giving them saying?
Speaker 1:I do, i do, i do. He had the intention of breaking it. Well, he had the intention of living, no matter what.
Speaker 2:He lived.
Speaker 1:He did, he did the thing.
Speaker 2:And then he didn't even have to work ever again.
Speaker 1:All he had to do was talk about how badass he is, that's because he shouldn't have fucking lived. And when you do live through something that you shouldn't fucking live through like you earned, you chopped your arm off with a fucking, i bet you there's tons and tons of people.
Speaker 2:There's tons of people that live through things they shouldn't have lived through and nobody talk about them Because they don't write books about it.
Speaker 1:They're idiots.
Speaker 2:There was that guy that was in a whale's mouth recently And he got struck by lightning like twice and attacked by a shark before.
Speaker 1:Sounds like.
Speaker 2:The odds for this guy is like through the roof.
Speaker 1:It sounds like he literally is a biblical character.
Speaker 2:He's like a statistical anomaly though.
Speaker 1:He literally sounds like the dude that got swallowed by the whale and fucking the Bible and got struck by lightning because, God was mad.
Speaker 2:And then, whenever they asked him, whenever they asked him like So what do you have to say about the ordeal where you got swallowed by?
Speaker 1:the whale already laughing.
Speaker 2:Oh man goes so bad time. Oh, you know, i mean, these things happen, these things happen. No, bro, do not happen, people don't get swallowed by whales bro.
Speaker 1:In fact stop cheating death actually Speaking of whales, have you seen that like? what is it? is the the blue whales, or is it the sperm whales, or whatever it is? Maybe they're blue whales or humpback whales, i don't know, but they, like, literally, will save seals from killer whales just because they have been warring with killer whales for so long. Like it goes in their DNA, do they not eat them? No, they save them.
Speaker 2:They literally will like but I'm saying, are they doing it as out of spite, or is it just not on their diet anyway?
Speaker 1:No, they're doing out of spite towards the towards the fucking killer whales, because they they're like they war with them for territory, and the killer whales Started like attacking them like thousands of years ago. Even though they don't like, they're just trying to be the big dog in town, you know. So I guess groups of them can fuck up one, but whenever there's more than one of them, they're like you know what I'm saying can do whatever they want. And if there's one of the humpback whales and only like one or two of the killer whales, they still can do whatever they want. So lots of times, like they'll just go up to a seal and like put it under their flipper and like flip Their back and just hold it, like become an island for the seal so that like that's crazy.
Speaker 1:And then like they'll also like once they're so smart and then, once they save the seal, they'll follow the fucking killer whales in the next place. It goes to be like nah, brah, i don't want you to eat today. You're fuck you. Let's talk top. Yeah, brah, because all he has to do to eat is just open his mouth and get like the fucking plankton. He's eating the whole way, following this dude being like you're not eating.
Speaker 2:That's crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's sometimes being the killer whales.
Speaker 2:They're like attacking boats off of Portugal or Spain.
Speaker 1:I think they know that, though, that those things are eating their food and they viewed as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, scientists say that they believe that it's Overfishing or that they're associating these boats with overfishing. But I guess they've done it for a long time, as they're like run into the, the Motor, until they like bust it and the people will call for a tow and I'll get towed in. But I guess just recently they started after they bust the thing up while the boats getting towed in, they'll keep ramming the fucking boat.
Speaker 1:It's trying to sink it.
Speaker 2:It's like damn, bro, you imagine getting sunk with killer whales around we? I mean, they're called orcas, But we've nicknamed them killer whales. That's like Mike Tyson. We call them killer, mike, you know right, because he's a fucking killer. Just just imagine that, like he just, decided you were punch, not like an ironic name bro.
Speaker 1:Right? No, they're not. they're not nice just because we have Shamu.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, i would not. That's probably. That and a hippopotamus are the two animals that I would really not want to run into in the ocean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't want either of those things. But, yeah, yeah, you want to. You want to get into these articles now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's, you're gonna start us off, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i got this one, Um, where this tiktoker faked his own death and then showed up at his own funeral to teach his family a quote. Unquote life lesson. Tiktoker David Barton can't say that right. Bear bear tin came up with the idea after becoming Disheartened with how much his family had grown apart. Okay, i guess you're not gonna say anything with that. Anyways, the Belgian tiktoker faked his own death, turned up to the funeral to teach them the lesson. He's known as Ragnar Lafau on social media. He came up with the idea. Obviously, i already said this about how his family was fractured, but uh, he says what I see in my family often hurts me. I never get invited to anything. Nobody sees me. We all grew apart. I felt unappreciated. That's why I wanted to give them a life lesson and show them that you shouldn't wait until someone is dead to meet up with them.
Speaker 1:He sounds like an idiot sounds like a fucking asshole dude. He sounds like somebody who can't like reach out and text or call somebody or like literally be like hey, i want to kill myself. Spend time with me.
Speaker 2:Like do you go to a second funeral?
Speaker 1:like if you die ends up really no, no, now you, now I wouldn't go to, i don't even go to the second wedding.
Speaker 2:You want me to go to your second funeral? No, absolutely not.
Speaker 1:Dude, yeah, you don't even, You don't go to use the second wedding, like okay, so like the second funeral is like like what are they gonna do for that one? Like it's just like a real quick thing on the beach, like We don't actually have a pastor for this one, yeah. Yeah, we just. It's just a no. It's just a no to republic. We paid him with a six pack of Budweiser.
Speaker 2:Was a great guy. We already did this one, so we hope this one really works out.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I got an accent because this boy is Belgian In order to pull off the prank this 45 year old tick-tocking asshole country?
Speaker 2:what country is he from from?
Speaker 1:Belgium, belgium. It says that he To pull off the prank. He got help from his wife and kids. Rest in peace. Daddy, i will never stop thinking about you. One of his daughters wrote on tick-tock before the service Why is life so unfair? Why you? you were going to be a grandfather and you still had your whole life ahead of you. I love you, we love you. We will never forget you. Jesus, horrible people that that guy sounds like he logged into his kids accounts and fucking just. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Like how do you does he? it's like was his, does it save? his mom and dad were like this meant.
Speaker 1:It does not say that yet, but it says he has over a hundred and sixty-five thousand followers. And then he made a fucking grand appearance at his fucking funeral funeral in a helicopter. Brown Showed up in a helicopter.
Speaker 2:He says how ironic would it have been if it crashed? Oh Yeah, i don't like think plain crashes are funny, but like no, in certain I said ironic, it's funny.
Speaker 1:Well, the funny thing is that irony is funny.
Speaker 2:It is funny, but I'm not alluding to that. I'm just saying it would have been ironic had His helicopter went down whenever he showed up at his funeral. Oh my god dude.
Speaker 1:He hugged some of the relatives, while others seemed confused, and he Seemingly responded to pushback about his stunt saying only half of my family even came to the funeral. That proves who really cares about me. Only half of those who didn't come didn't contact me to meet up, so in a way I did win.
Speaker 2:So that you could have lost. you could have lost on that. Yeah, yeah, when he crashed the plane, i Guess the helicopter, but I don't think he was saying that. I think he was saying no, no, he, yeah. He meant. He meant like oh, i'm because I know, i know who my real family is.
Speaker 1:Oh god bro, like you cried in the first place about them not being in your life and now, like Now, the people who were gonna be in your life are not gonna be in your life.
Speaker 2:I don't reminds me of like that prank I saw where the kid wakes up in funeral box and everyone's like at the, the morgue and he was like super drunk or whatever. Oh, shit. And he'll like he like. Wakes up after a night of drinking super heavy inside of this. What do they call a casket?
Speaker 2:Okay, Yeah and his whole family will be there. Everyone will be there dressed in like their suits and he'll like get up out of the casket and look at everyone, like what, what is going on, you know, and they'll be praying and it'll climb out and like walk up to like his Mom or his brother or something, and like wave, like this, and they'll like act like they can't even see him And he'll be walking around to everyone like, and then after a while, you know, they'll realize and but dude, i think I've seen two of them and the guys faces were so fucking scared like they believed they were dead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100% thought they woke up at their funeral, like, like they thought that they were like out of body, experiencing it 100%.
Speaker 2:That's what they and they were. They were both foreign like countries whenever I saw it, but it was pretty funny I thought.
Speaker 1:I'm glad that we can add on a funny note, because this guy's an asshole and Yeah, no, that guy wasn't funny.
Speaker 2:That one wasn't a prank. I could never. I was a reverse prank.
Speaker 1:I could never Pretend to be dead free, like to get you guys to like want to love me. Like that's weird.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. You have sympathy, or maybe not sympathy, i don't know. Daddy issues something.
Speaker 1:You just don't know how to reach out to your family in a healthy way because you're all about social media. That's like. One thing I don't like about social media is that like it it's like almost a Like people live this fake life on social media Where they they care about what it looks like and what their followers like, like, even though their followers is watching your video. If you have a 45 second video, they're probably watching the 30 seconds. They like, maybe even less, and pressing like and all you care is that 20,000 people like that video, when really what you should be caring about is like Being around your family. You know, i don't know. I understand that that's how some people make money, but like, do that after caring about your family and being close with real-life connections, you know yeah, and what is it?
Speaker 2:What does it matter if somebody like you, don't know what somebody was thinking, like what if it was too hard for that person to Freakin show up at your funeral or something?
Speaker 1:I'm saying also no offense, dude, but like if I, if I have a funeral and you have something like going on, like obviously, like If you got to work that day And it's not important, like get off work and come, but like if you're like dude, how many people?
Speaker 2:fucking change their plans to go. This guy's fucking fake funeral What if somebody else and so one of those people's family died in their funeral was actually Said I can't go, and he was like, oh, I gotta make a choice. Oh, i choose this fucking guys funeral. He goes this fucking funeral instead of the actual, real fucking funeral.
Speaker 1:Oh my god. Then you kill that guy and then you make it sure he has a funeral. I'd be a rate.
Speaker 2:Would it even be murder if you kill the dead person?
Speaker 1:That's a very good question. If you had a death certificate, no, but he probably doesn't have one because it was all fake Propagation. What a fucking Asshole. I just said the f word like six times and I guess I Don't know. Whatever, it doesn't matter doesn't matter doesn't matter. Explicit content baby. Yeah, you want to go into your next article.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Or your first article, rather.
Speaker 2:The next article which, yes, is my first day next It's actually about Deceased body that was discovered in Texas, and it actually turned out to be a dismembered sex doll wait.
Speaker 1:So how long was his body thought to be deceased for?
Speaker 2:It says, authorities in Texas made a strange discovery Wednesday when they were called to a residence in Harris County after a body was discovered on the premises. The sheriff's office responded to the 5,800 block of Brunswick, near East Mount Houston Road, hirsch Road and the s sticks East X free freeway, as a deceased female was discovered. However, upon closer inspection the officials determined it was a sex doll. False call on this one. Upon closer inspection, not a body, said sheriff Ed again Zales.
Speaker 1:Timeout. So how dirty was that sex doll, to where they thought it was a fucking human body.
Speaker 2:I said it was wearing only a pink bra And underwear at the time it was found. It was also dismembered.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe, maybe the guy needed to get rid of it because his wife found it or some shit.
Speaker 2:They said foul play. This is kind of confusing. Foul play was suspected, but did not say if charges were filed in connection with the discovery. How would? what charges would you file?
Speaker 1:So they felt they stayed, they could file charges for foul play when it was a body, but then, like they probably didn't say if they filed charges, because if they did and then it turns out to be a sex doll, then they're the laughing stock of their Division probably, or whatever department. That's what I'm imagining. Just just like my brain prank these together.
Speaker 2:I mean they said they found two other bodies like actual, real body at the same place in the area. Oh, this is the. No, not the same place, but in the same area in the past few days. This is a picture of the, the sex though.
Speaker 1:Dude, the sex dolls are getting pretty realistic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she's dismembered too.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So like I mean like at first glance, like he, we're trained to like not want to look At dead bodies because that's shit's like horrific in real life. So like well, glance like real quick, that looks like a dead body. It does, i would believe it at first It's just kind of. It's just kind of funny that like After closer inspection, yeah, what fucking 15 seconds.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You, you poked it with your pen and we were like this this is made of fucking latex. I mean, somebody called it in without walking up to it. I mean, the person who called it in was probably like oh, i'm gonna record this. This is funny. This is my sex doll.
Speaker 2:This is my.
Speaker 1:I just want to see what these cops are gonna do. Yeah, so that's. That's just weird to me that like I Don't know, like Someone would dismember that thing and then throw it out there, like why do you think someone would do that?
Speaker 2:There's fucking crazy people in the world.
Speaker 1:I know, but that like, can you just give me like a Speculation of a scenario that would be fun for the show?
Speaker 2:Have you seen the episode of Cleveland show?
Speaker 1:I don't know where you're going. I've seen a lot of them, but where?
Speaker 2:Who's the little short? guy Oh oh, where he, like hope, kills the sex doll because he's trying to be more grown up exactly. You think that's what happens.
Speaker 1:So this is like some like 18 year old guy, or they said 24 year old, like kid, who like got a real job And he's like I have a girl or no, fucking really crazy.
Speaker 2:We got a breakup, cindy, oh yeah, where he's just really crazy and he's like Cindy's the name of the sex doll This is the next. This is the next step. You know I've been fucking this sex doll. Now I gotta. Why is it always crazy? because it's crazy fucking people in the world, man, and that's the problem is a lot of people don't want to identify like hey, yeah, that dude was just kind of fucking crazy. All right, that's, that's fair whenever like they.
Speaker 1:Romanticize these serial killers, like in, like these new documentaries and all these women are like Oh man, have you seen the new?
Speaker 2:Jeffrey Dahmer like Dexter.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, Dexter is like is fucking crazy. It is crazy, but that's just had him know what I'm gonna say about Dexter is it's fictional.
Speaker 2:It's yeah, oh yeah. So I was just saying, like what people are into?
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, i'm saying, when they romanticize a serial killer like Jeffrey Dahmer and people are like, oh, did you see homeboy and the Netflix special about Jeffrey Dahmer? he's so sexy, it's like first of all I.
Speaker 2:Can kill her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude red flags everywhere. Yeah, man, i mean I get that. They like made it sexy ish in like a weird trailer parkway.
Speaker 2:I don't know what your list and like the perfect man would be, but I do know what it should be and I do know it should be at the very top and your personal safety Should be number one above everything. Am I gonna die?
Speaker 1:like that, that it goes along with the can. Can I have a comfort? like, will they give me a Comfortability in life? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the thing is, I'd say, above everything, above, i meet this person Alone. Yeah, are they gonna fucking kill me right. Jeffrey Dahmer is gonna fucking kill you. Yes, what's attractive about?
Speaker 1:that That's not, that's not attractive, and I think I I don't. Maybe it's cuz he, i don't know you don't want to feel safe with.
Speaker 2:This is somebody. I don't understand it. I don't, i don't know, i think, i think I wouldn't even feel safe I'm like an able-bodied man, do you think it's like? and I wouldn't feel safe alone in the room with that fucking little skinny dude with his weird Nimes and shit Yeah no, he's gonna fucking break his glasses off, poke me in the eye and fuck him. Before I know it, i'm shanked in the neck. No, i don't know what he's capable of. He's crazy, crazy crazy people, man.
Speaker 1:I don't know, i don't know how we got onto that. That was like a cool little fun tangent. Crazy yeah oh so, speaking of um crazy shit, you want to hear my next article. That's got some crazy shit.
Speaker 2:Crazy shit. Let's hear it.
Speaker 1:It's uh, it's Illinois. Man was charged After telling police. He shot himself in the leg during a dream at about a home intruder. That's a like crazy. That's like cheddar Bob. Shit bro.
Speaker 2:The fact that he got charged is crazy. He shot himself in his own home, that's what I'm saying like cheddar Bob disaster.
Speaker 1:And then he went the next level and he told the police what happened and they fucking Charged him. It says a suburban Chicago man is facing firearm charges. After he told the officers He accidentally shot himself in the leg while dreaming that an intruder was breaking into his home.
Speaker 2:So he was defending himself.
Speaker 1:Well, he's dreaming it, and the man was charged about two months after Lake County Sheriff Deputies were called to his home Reporting that a person was with a gunshot wound. To do it, says the deputies found the 62 year old man. With holy shit. He was 62, with the gunshot wound in one of his legs Applied with a homemade tourniquet to the limb because he was losing a significant amount of blood well, if he had said that he tried to kill himself, would they have charged him with a gun crime?
Speaker 2:Probably you think so? Yeah, yeah, for sure and then we get charged with gun crime And you shoot yourself. You get charged with gun and then you get like a crazy charge too. No, I think you only get the crazy charge, bro. I think it's fucking 14 days on the seventh floor and then they'll release you.
Speaker 1:Oh man, so they, they. They charged him, though, because his firearm owners identify vacation card had been revoked.
Speaker 2:Ha ha. Legally, because illegal possession man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude You. You saved that for the end, which makes sense though, because I was thinking why this guy getting trouble? You gotta fall. Like that goes back to the thing we said on the other podcast you got to follow the gun laws.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't have a choice. I mean, gun crimes are like minimum two years.
Speaker 1:And that's like minimum, minimum. This says, like him, recklessly just charging the firearm.
Speaker 2:I don't think anybody should be a prohibitive possessor, though.
Speaker 1:It says. It says because it was a recklessly discharged of a firearm and possession of a firearm without the valid card. He has two felonies.
Speaker 2:I mean, i think crazy people should be prohibited Possessors, but like was he crazy is my thing, like if it was like cuz he was a felon.
Speaker 1:This man's gonna be screwed dude because, it says it's, it's, it's gonna be an online court, in that the online court Just gives like a state attorney and the 62 year old man doesn't have any flipping Way to do that dude, so I don't wonder. That's not good for him. It's not good. Jeez, shooting himself in the leg, bro We should start go for me for that man. We should start to go for me, for this man.
Speaker 2:For how's it gonna get charged for shooting himself in the leg on accident? He's trying to defend himself. He's just really fucking old What does it say this kind of?
Speaker 1:wish I knew Why he wasn't it doesn't say his name, but after the podcast, when I go home. I will research his name and I will start Yeah, i'll start to go find me for him. But yeah, man, i don't really know what else to say about that. Like it's just crazy. Like to shoot yourself with your gun. Like I don't care if you're 62, like I'm not gonna have a dream and Shoot myself.
Speaker 2:How do you know, dude? I, i'm a, i'm a sleepwalker. I guess you could say, oh shit, that's scary, yeah. And I guess Mom has seen. Mom saw me the other not the other day, this was a few months ago but She said I woke up and I couldn't find the clicker. And We were looking for the clicker for like a day and then we asked mom, we said hey, mom, do you know where the clicker is? And she said the last time I saw it I came out of my room and Daniel was standing in the middle of the Of the living room And he was holding it, just staring at a blank TV, and I asked him if he was okay. He didn't respond to me And then he stood there. She said I said okay, you should go back to bed and I went out into the garage or she went into wherever. And Then I Remember I vaguely remember being out there And I just remember throwing a clicker away. That's all I can remember is Like throwing a clicker in the trash, do you?
Speaker 1:throw it away. That's what I remember. Did you go find it?
Speaker 2:I had been like a day or two since mom told us what happened and I didn't remember it until mom told me that and I was like Fuck I was like threw my clicker away. Well, i don't remember it. I just remember like for some reason, that in my mind is like a deja vu type of memory.
Speaker 1:Right like jogged, your memory of me waving in front of cuz.
Speaker 2:I have that touch, i had that touch, this. Yeah, trash can out there. So I remember just waving in my arm in front of it just throwing a clicker in the trash can. And then walking back to my bed, laying down and going back to sleep, but I don't ever remember waking up. I don't remember that incident, i just it's like a vague memory.
Speaker 1:It was like.
Speaker 2:It was like your body remembers it and then I had that girlfriend that I punched in the face while I was dreaming and I still remember I was fighting this kid that I know and It was like a dream. Like you, know, how, like if you fight somebody, you have rubber bands on your arms.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, like you can't punch, you can't hurt anybody. So I'm like working this kid's mid-section. You know, i'm just fucking getting them, but I'm not fucking touching them at all. And then I come around with a left, smoke them in the face, wake up to a slap in my face because Apparently I actually did swing a left and the girl I was sleeping with caught it, punched her right in the face, bro, and the fucked up thing is obviously I did it subconsciously, like I was asleep. She didn't have to slap me in the face, so fucking well, she was awake.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, she didn't know. I mean, I'm not.
Speaker 2:She knew I was asleep. She fucking knew I was asleep.
Speaker 1:I can. I can totally believe that you um have like some sort of sleepwalking thing, because I also have like a sleeping disorder. I have fucking sex almia. Have you ever heard of that?
Speaker 2:What is it?
Speaker 1:It's called sex almia or it's called sleep sex. It's like that, like literally, where you will engage in sexual activities with the person with you while you're sleeping. So like after the fact, the person you're with is like Like.
Speaker 2:I was, you're bad and you don't remember about it.
Speaker 1:It's not that they don't tell you. it's like I remember, like Specifically in the beginning, before I found out I had it, i'd be like, i'd be like, oh you, really, you were really in the mood, you really wanted. daddy, you know, you woke me up for it And she's like what are you talking about? you Stuck it in me. You woke me up, you're the one and it's like wait, i did what now?
Speaker 1:No no, i didn't know. It's sleeping. I'm sleeping And it's like I remember, like not believing it at first and then hearing about it from someone And then like it's actually been, like used in a defense for a guy who this woman said that she, that he raped her, like it actually worked. That's crazy. Well, because it's a real thing. But I'm not saying they had to prove that the guy had it. You know what I'm saying. They had to prove that the he was like I was sleeping next to this woman, we had been sleeping together before that. He's like she's like I didn't consent that time. He's like I didn't want to do it either, like I'm sure he wanted to, but you know it wasn't like. Like it's a, that's a thing, like if you even want this.
Speaker 1:No, but like I actually tell women that like if I, when I'm dating them, if I sleep next to them, that I have that, because I don't want that to be a thing. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Like it's like.
Speaker 1:Hey, you need to know that this could happen, because, yeah, that, or I'm sleeping with two layers of pants on, just in case I try to rip them off. I'm sleeping and I'm not making that up.
Speaker 2:That's a real thing. Yeah, i just don't sleep a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i've been sleeping more since I stopped with the caffeine.
Speaker 2:I usually like last night I think I got two and a half hours. That's disgusting. Yeah, I usually if I get over five, like that's pretty good, Mom usually will give me a little bit of time to sleep in on like a weekend.
Speaker 1:But that's normally why you take a nap, like almost every day. Old man naps bro, You'd be needing that shit.
Speaker 2:You're like I would call them power naps, bro, but I don't do them for power, i do them because I'm old.
Speaker 1:You ever hurt, you're hurt. Ever heard of the way that Batman sleeps?
Speaker 2:upside down like a bat.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's a good joke. I like that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it wasn't joking. I assume that that should be a correct answer.
Speaker 1:Oh fuck, okay, so no. But Batman, this is a real technique that I guess, like some weird ancient ninjas invented in like ancient China or Japan, We're talking fictional ones. This is real life. This is a real technique that people can use, but I guess it's really hard to do. So what it is is you only sleep like 15 minutes every four hours, like you train your body to needing 15 hours of sleep every four hours 15 minutes every four hours.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I meant 15,. what did I say? 15 minutes every four hours is what he needs.
Speaker 2:So it's like what was the life expect? What was the life expect? and see those people.
Speaker 1:I don't know, i have no idea, um, but Batman whoops ass until he's like 70 and he's also fictional, but that is a way of that does explain how he is able to go out and be Batman. You know what I'm saying? Cause like he'll be like out in like a 12 hour stakeout and he just has to rest real quick for like 30 minutes and like really if he needs to, and he like can't rest. He also has like some sort of like adrenaline in his fucking thing and caffeine pills to keep himself awake. So it's fine.
Speaker 2:If you need any information on DC or Marvel characters, this is your guy.
Speaker 1:I don't know that that's true. Batman is just awesome. I don't know why I started talking about Batman like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, i'm not really into the Batman or Marvel Marvel guy, but even around you I don't want to talk about Marvel because you make me insecure About my Marvel fandom.
Speaker 1:I don't try to do that, but I understand, because there's definitely people who know more than me and it's like they try to be gatekeepers. But I don't feel like I'm a gatekeeper to you.
Speaker 2:I feel like I just know you're not a gatekeeper, it's just. it's like if you're in shape around not in shape people you feel like you're in shape, but then you could be in that same shape around, really in shape people like people who are actually fucking in shape. And you're no longer the best. You know you, just you're not going to teach them anything. You know, that's how it is with Marvel, with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like an average Joe. I could show them up, but then you walk into the octagon and I need to just walk out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I'm not trying to be like that. But I get you. I get what you're saying.
Speaker 2:That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying, you do it intentionally.
Speaker 1:Oh, I get what you're saying. It's just intimidating my level of knowledge.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that, dude. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying people that are ripped to get ripped to make other people be like oh God, i'm not as ripped as that guy. Yeah, that wasn't that wasn't the intention of what I was saying.
Speaker 1:Right, I mean I got you. I appreciate the compliment, bro. Do you want to go into your next article? I think the next one's a fun one. At least if I, if I have it lined up correctly, i believe it's a funny article title. It's OK, that's Daniel's dog. In the background, my dog is making all kinds of noise. She just wants to be out here in the garage, and you know, dogs have nails Life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as I don't know if we have that. I don't know if we have the same lineup, but next up, i had one about the drug syndicate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the one. Can you talk into the circle? Yeah, talking into the sound so much better now You should turn it to where your phone is, like behind it up here, so you're actually talking into it, you know, and reading it like pull your phone up, you don't have to have that far away to you. I mean, i don't know, there you go Now. That just sounds better, you know it's fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:All right, I got one. It's a drug syndicate that hid meth in Canadian maple syrup. Canola oil bound for the down under.
Speaker 1:Oh, good old Australia. Things are going to put the Canadian maple like hidden meth syrup on, like the shrimp on the barbie.
Speaker 2:Meth syrup. Now, if it was like cocaine syrup.
Speaker 1:Do you think that like what we're? obviously going to look more at the article, but do you think that it was just part of the syrup and it had to be taken apart, or was like wrapped up inside the syrup?
Speaker 2:Oh, it had to be wrapped up in it, they weren't extracting. I mean, maybe they would extract meth from syrup. I don't know how into it they are. I know that they do make it in like a lab in fucking RVs, right.
Speaker 1:That sounds like dedication. I'm trying to, i'm trying to read a little bit ahead, but So it says.
Speaker 2:A drug syndicate that tried to smuggle tons of methamphetamine from Canada to Australia and New Zealand by hiding it in shipments of maple syrup and canola oil has had its ruse busted. Authorities from the three nations say they worked together for more than five months to unravel the elaborate scheme that was worth billions of dollars.
Speaker 1:That seems like only five months to get rid of billions of dollars. Seems like they didn't really have a good infrastructure.
Speaker 2:And they say they've made dozens of arrests and expect more to come, while the Canadian authorities said they're still investigating the case and aren't yet providing all the details.
Speaker 1:You know why the Canadian authorities are so upset? right, They think because it's like they were the exporters Well that and also like don't fuck with our maple syrup, that's our thing Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, i think the Canadian people were like less upset because they're the ones that said we're still investigating, while New Zealand and Australia were like we've already made dozens of arrests, right. But you got to understand, canada was the fucking exporter, like it's like the opium wars, you know.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:England was trying to force opium on China. You know, we're the exporter, we want to win this. We don't give a shit what you take. Australian police said they intercepted four separate halls of meth weighing more than six tons. Jesus, luminies, Goodness, that's a lot, that's a whole lot, dude.
Speaker 1:Six tons, That's like a ton Like also like that's like a car right.
Speaker 2:They filed charges against six men. That equates. I mean, i don't know what the men were charged with, but assuming each one was charged with a ton, imagine being charged with a ton of meth. Like how much meth did they find you with?
Speaker 1:Oh, I just I sold some drugs. How much an elephant's worth?
Speaker 2:A fucking ton bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, but like how?
Speaker 2:much Yeah, no, man a ton.
Speaker 1:Like not not like like an actual physical ton.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like a ton, like 2200 and whatever the fuck it is pounds More than you.
Speaker 1:Did you read farther down, where it said they said the Canadian authorities swapped out the meth for harmless substances and allowed the shipments to continue?
Speaker 2:I did not get that.
Speaker 1:That's, that's how fucking funny, Because they found this in January and they found 2900 liters and they said that they were just like oh you know, let's just take it out and put some other stuff in there and just let it go on through.
Speaker 2:So I guess it was liquid meth, so they just hid it amongst the other bottles.
Speaker 1:Oh, like, lazily Like, oh, 20% of these are actually.
Speaker 2:Damn see, and that's why Canadian and Canada let it go through is because they're just trying to make a dollar, bro. That's what it's about.
Speaker 1:Canada wants to make a dollar out of a dime Everybody wants to make a dollar out of a dime, bro.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to make a dollar out of a penny, bro. Everybody wants to live the American dream. Nobody wants to work.
Speaker 1:At the end they try to like it's like, say like oh, international drug trade is wreaking havoc on our world.
Speaker 2:It says. Police said the syndicate tried to hide more than three quarters of a ton of meth and a shipment of maple syrup the largest such shipment that had been intercepted at New Zealand's border. They arrested five men, so it was five and six, so that's 11. They said they've made dozens of arrests.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i think these are all, just all the different nations that are like arresting all the different people, you know, i see. So it's just like adds up, adds up, adds up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, i feel like that. that's the rest of this is pretty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's pretty cut and dry, but like, if you ask me like it's, it's pretty funny to think about like Canada being pissed that you're giving them bad maple syrup like reviews, and then Canada also being like well, we have to export our maple syrup, so let's just take the bad shit out and put non-bad shit in there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fuck, yeah, i mean, what are do they? what do you want? You rather have no reviews or bad reviews.
Speaker 1:I mean, i think, i think, i think I'm, if they don't have a product to review. I think Australia, those just pissed because they're like Ayo, like, could you have said something to us?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they, probably they got a drought, you know, they don't know if they had a recall. They're like Ayo, like could contain meth?
Speaker 1:Yeah right, Why do we have less maple syrup guys on the shelves? Oh, you didn't hear about the nationwide meth syrup shortage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why isn't my baby losing his baby teeth twice?
Speaker 1:My baby's teeth are already rotted out and that tooth came in six days ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the fuck is going on.
Speaker 1:Oh man, that's a little too fun. That's a little bit too much fun to have further.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so don't do meth Yeah no, no meth, apparently.
Speaker 1:I would never try that one.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of drugs I'll advocate for. Meth is not one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, like I think people should be able to do what they want, but like, also, like, if you want to do meth, i also think that you probably aren't smart enough to realize what you really like could be doing to yourself. So yeah, i don't know, i don't know that maybe that's why some people say everything in moderation. That's what grandma used to say. I'm writing a joke about that, because what the fuck does that mean? What Everything in moderation like, a little bit of crime in moderation Like is that?
Speaker 2:okay, yeah, oh, a little bit.
Speaker 1:A little bit of crime, you don't?
Speaker 2:do it A little bit. A little bit, you don't speed now and then A little bit You don't run a red light.
Speaker 1:A little bit of cheating, j-walk A little bit of cheating and moderation A little bit of.
Speaker 2:In moderation, it's all in moderation, bro.
Speaker 1:I don't think it's okay. I don't think it's okay, like, i understand the cheat day process, but like, what does in moderation mean to you? Like one day, or do you mean like oh? every day, between 9 pm and 2 am.
Speaker 2:I'm going to eat cookies. No, if you eat cookies every day, that's not in moderation. If you go to a fast food place every day, that's not in moderation. If you go to a fast food place once every four months, that's a little more moderate.
Speaker 1:That's like more than moderate. That's like just get sparsely.
Speaker 2:I don't know, that's sparsely. That's probably still more than you should go. I don't know Once every four months, once every four months, three times a year. Do you know how much that is in that shit?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I think that's okay More than three times a year.
Speaker 2:Oh, so now I know why you don't want moderation.
Speaker 1:Okay, whatever, i don't think that's moderation. I think moderation is one-some-month.
Speaker 2:Trying to snap up the culvers and the Chick-fil-A's.
Speaker 1:I don't like culvers, but I'll eat all the Chick-fil-A's I'll eat all the Chick-fil-A's, not on Sunday. That's why I don't go to Chick-fil-A Whatever, dude, that's one of my days off and I don't like that. They're closed that day, kfc baby.
Speaker 2:I mean, I found that Culver's Chicken is actually better than Culver's Chicken.
Speaker 1:It's better than Zach's Bees. I think is open on Sunday. It's better than Chick-fil-A, so you just did one right.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And I have my last one and then you have your last one after that. So, yep, i'm gonna go ahead. This one's kind of crazy. This one sounds like a fucking Rob Schneider movie dude 28-year-old woman accused of posing as a Louisiana high school student. That's like some undercover 80s, fucking new story. Fucking movie headline.
Speaker 2:Can I just interject and say that also reminds me of whole From Cleveland show.
Speaker 1:The callback bro the callback.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that so much.
Speaker 1:Did he go to a school, he?
Speaker 2:like he imitated a pitcher.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, Because he was like, because he was actually like a minor league player, right Yeah In the show. Yeah. And so they needed him to pitch for their team, and so he pretended to be in high school, pretended to be in high school, but, like the only thing about him, he was really short, and so he could pull it off Like he lived with his mom anyway. And he had. He had beers after or something, and that's like what, like, like.
Speaker 2:Louis cover. Yeah, he like showed up drunk or some shit.
Speaker 1:This. This woman says she posed as a 17 year old student to learn English. So yeah, she was just.
Speaker 2:I mean that is clever, because she was using the public school system. Yeah, she's getting a free English, that's why they arrested her.
Speaker 1:It says her and her mom were arrested Tuesday in St Charles. How old was she actually? 28. The woman was 28 and the mom was 46. So they were both arrested and charged with one count of injuring public records, which I think means just like lying on a public record.
Speaker 2:That's not a felony right.
Speaker 1:I think it is to lie on a paper like that. It's totally a felony. It says Serrano Alvareddo used a fake passport and birth certificate from Honduras to register and roll her daughter at Hanneville School for the 2002-2003 school year.
Speaker 2:the sheriff's office said I mean, see, that's why I disagree with the law. You're going to punish somebody and now they're going to have this felony on their record, all because they wanted to better themselves.
Speaker 1:They didn't harm. They didn't harm anybody.
Speaker 2:Did they harm anybody?
Speaker 1:I don't think anybody got harmed. I mean, i don't know, like what she did in school.
Speaker 2:If she was learning English, I mean, I don't think she was doing any harm. Yeah, it actually sounds like The teacher was going to be teaching anyway, you say, oh, she took our tax dollars, the sheriff wasn't even enrolled.
Speaker 1:The sheriff that was talking about the case at the news conference. He even defended her and said she wanted to learn English. She wanted to become proficient in our language. He said there was no nefarious reason behind this. He just said that falsifying government documents was bad judgment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, obviously it's bad judgment, but I mean.
Speaker 1:He said. He said there's other avenues. She just wasn't, she just didn't know like she could have took an ESL or a GED program.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she could have got some sort of financial aid or something and got whooped. She didn't get a chance.
Speaker 1:Apparently she didn't get in trouble in school.
Speaker 2:She didn't get a chance at the public school.
Speaker 1:To me. I just know that Polly Shore is going to be here next week at that comedy McCurdy's actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I feel like this is a Polly Shore movie, you know, or some shit.
Speaker 2:I haven't seen a Polly Shore movie since 2000 and like two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it was also 94 when he probably came out of the movie.
Speaker 2:No, I'm just saying like I haven't seen a new one.
Speaker 1:I think In the.
Speaker 2:Army Now came out in like 2001,. Right.
Speaker 1:Maybe I'm not exactly sure, but I know that he did come out with one on Netflix recently. I think it's called Animal. No, it's something animal. It's called like House, Something or Neighbors.
Speaker 2:Animal House.
Speaker 1:No, that's a different movie. It's called like Neighbors or House Neighbors or something like that. It's on Netflix. If you look up Polly Shore on Netflix, this is his most recent thing. It happened during COVID.
Speaker 2:I remember Biodome and In the Army Now.
Speaker 1:Dude, I want to get a Blu-ray copy of Biodome And Encino Man and I want Polly.
Speaker 2:Shore to sign them. Oh, Encino Man too.
Speaker 1:Dude Encino Man was so good. Dude Brendan Fraser like barely talks in that movie until the end, you know. I mean that's kind of his character.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's just like, okay, man but I love that shit.
Speaker 1:It's so good.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that's what got him George of the Jungle.
Speaker 2:honestly, The fact that he can go through a whole movie without saying a word.
Speaker 1:He just like looked good as a caveman, and they're like, hey, we could do that in the jungle.
Speaker 2:It's like I am legend. There was like four words in that whole movie because there was nobody to talk to.
Speaker 1:No, that's not true, no, the end he talked Yeah, and he talked to his dog a lot.
Speaker 2:But at the very, i mean he didn't like say much.
Speaker 1:No, he didn't, And he talked to the mannequin. It happened more and more and more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was, just there was a lot. It started off really silent and there was a lot of silence in that movie.
Speaker 1:Damn bro. They let this woman make it all the way to four days. Actually, they let it. she went through the whole school year, bro, and the investigation started four days after.
Speaker 2:So is she fluent? yet Probably not. Maybe a tall task. No, if she's fluent and they should just waive the charges. I agree with that, but I don't, it doesn't If you can pass this test then This says this wasn't the first time that somebody did it.
Speaker 1:In January, a 29 year old woman was charged of using false documents to enroll in a New Jersey high school. She attended classes over a four day period.
Speaker 2:And why did she say she did it?
Speaker 1:I don't know, But a judge allowed the woman the other woman to take a pre-trial intervention program and like not getting trouble.
Speaker 2:That's horseshit.
Speaker 1:It is horseshit. That's like some fucking favoritism shit. Yeah, that's bullshit.
Speaker 2:That's a Debbie Downer of an article. In the end, i feel like just because she got charged, Yeah, I don't think that's cool.
Speaker 1:I don't like that at all, but I do think it was a fun title and something to talk about? No, certainly certainly I hope things work out for her. I need to remember to start to go fund me for that dude, that fucking shot himself.
Speaker 2:Fuck dude Are you ready for my final article?
Speaker 1:Are you ready for your final article?
Speaker 2:That's my question I am ready. Yeah, dude, let's do it. I feel like it's a fun one. It's a fun one, yeah, so it's really alluding to. The amazing fact is something I guess that there was an article written about four years ago, but this is an alleged Russian spy whale and that was spotted in.
Speaker 1:Sweden, like James Bond, fucking spy whale at.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the reason that he's being mentioned.
Speaker 1:again, we're on the whale theme this time. Yeah, we are.
Speaker 2:But the reason he's being mentioned again is because he was spotted in Sweden, but I think it was four years ago. They said he surfaced and he was found with a camera strap to him. That said property of St Petersburg.
Speaker 1:We know that's not.
Speaker 2:And he was clearly a domesticated whale like you could tell he was raised in an aquarium and he was around people, and I just think that the fact that, like they're saying in the article, they call him Havladimir, which is a combination of the Norwegian word whale, which is Havla, or Vla, which is with an H on the front and the president of Vladimir Putin's first name, but they say the problem with this is that beluga whales are actually They live in pods, so they're What is it? Group animals or whatever. So this whale, for the past four years, has been by himself, so anytime he sees humans he just swims right up to him, because these whales crave not human interaction, but just social interaction And that's what it knows And he knows human interaction.
Speaker 2:So through that he's been cut by propellers.
Speaker 1:people throw things to him that whales can't really eat, but he eats them anyways.
Speaker 2:And he'll eat it anyway and it kind of fucks him up. So he actually has a foundation made just for protecting him.
Speaker 1:He's like still out there doing this thing.
Speaker 2:But the crazy thing about it is that it says he'd been wearing a harness labeled Equipment St Petersburg, which led many to believe he'd been trained by the Russian Navy for intelligence purposes. Russia and the US are among the handful of countries that have military training programs incorporating aquatic mammals. So now I'm going to go off here really quick. So now there's a link that I can click for incorporating aquatic mammals, and that takes me over to a different article, and this article is titled a Russian naval base is defended by dolphins. It's not as unusual as it sounds.
Speaker 1:No, i've heard about that before. they did that kind of shit before. That is crazy to me Why they're super smart. They're like as smart as us, almost.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, they keep them in like a cage around this naval base.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, They're highly aggressive to their territorial animals, So they're like get the out of here.
Speaker 2:I mean, I just never knew that we were using. I mean, does Peter know about this? I don't think Peter has anybody told Peter.
Speaker 1:He only cares about the ones we eat. They don't care about the ones that are smart enough to have jobs like Like I mean the beluga whale story.
Speaker 2:I mean that's sad, bro, That is sad. You know, that's like the loneliest whale type of story.
Speaker 1:That's like literally, like that must be where the guy the avatar thing we talked about last week that must be where he got it, because like there's literally like a solo one, that's like not part of the pods And like he is exactly like what you said, like Well, that might be the story of the loneliest whale, which was a like.
Speaker 2:It was recorded on an underwater sonar.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:And it was frequency that no whale has ever made and they can't match it to any type of whale, so they're like this whale like doesn't know how to talk to Exactly. So. So the theory is that he talks to himself, but it's actually not that sad, because a lot of scientists theorize that, because he speaks in such a manner that he makes these frequencies in such a manner that he can probably actually communicate with more whales than most whales can Oh, but they. Just because he has such a wide range of frequency.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's fun Yeah.
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, so the loneliest whale becomes the friendliest, Yeah, but they're also like the most popular, they're like lonely or most popular, but also like when they're by themselves.
Speaker 1:You got to think like being in the ocean sounds scary, but when you're that big and you have like no natural predator and you're just like whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, i mean, it's not scary, but if, if you're programmed for, oh, like social interaction, social interaction.
Speaker 1:Maybe the dude has flippin social anxiety or you don't know, man, maybe he's got like some whale equivalent, equivalent of it, you know I.
Speaker 2:I well, he doesn't, because he goes up to humans looking for interaction. He's like hey, what up, bro He doesn't know how to be part of a pot He wasn't born into a pot. He was born into a zoo and then trained to be a freaking spy.
Speaker 1:And he's just the friendliest spy ever. He comes right up, he's like hey, you guys want to know what I do for a job? Look, i got a camera. I got a camera. Say cheese, yeah, bro.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're just going to take that off me, okay, all right, see you later, bro. Oh, you're going to put a new tracker on me, can I get one of them?
Speaker 1:bush lights.
Speaker 2:I don't matter here, i'll be back. Don't leave, don't leave, i'm coming back.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a like a hey guys, i'll be right back in whale time. It'll be like it'll be like one day, and then he comes back like two years later.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was like four years. It's been four years since they last spotted.
Speaker 1:That's the thing Like whales don't have like a regular like time like us. It's just like they have like migrating seasons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's crazy that he even follows them when he's by himself. Well, he just knows, it's just like a natural thing that they're just like programmed to do.
Speaker 1:He's like I'm going to go this way and there's going to be some people there, probably.
Speaker 2:They're like we can domesticate an animal so much, but he's still going to like have natural instincts.
Speaker 1:Well, that's like us. We still have natural instincts.
Speaker 2:Like what.
Speaker 1:We've we've like forced most of them out, most of them, but like we've also glamorized the one that like creates more of us. What sex? Yeah, that, and also fight or flight, is like a natural instinct.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you don't. always we squander fight, or flight.
Speaker 1:A lot of the reason why people don't get out of their comfort zone and actually achieve their dreams is because we're programmed to be comfortable, because comfortable is safe And being safe is like oh, we won't die. So that's like why, like scary situations, that like could actually better, you Like we don't want to do. You know what I'm saying? Cause, like in our primitive brain, we're like oh, that could kill us.
Speaker 1:We don't want to do that, even though it's not going to kill us. to do the scary thing Unless. like the scary thing you want to do is like fucking I don't know rockets, like become an astronaut or something like that Evil can evil type shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. But like we're like dead afraid to, like I don't know, like my instance, like was dead afraid to do the standup comedy thing, but like something I'm not going to die, like I could be not funny but I'm not going to die. No, you're not going to die, it's fine.
Speaker 2:But I think, I'm funny.
Speaker 1:I think it'd be fine.
Speaker 2:And even if you're not funny I mean, you know how many cities there are just in America you wouldn't even have to leave the country. I'll go be funny Someone else. Exactly, you go somewhere else. You go to a town where there's like 17 people and I bet you the funniest motherfucker there.
Speaker 1:I probably not, because there's some of the humor. It's probably like you don't know what a boondag diggers like with that dang long boondagger They won't even understand you. What's this?
Speaker 2:fancy talk boy.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I don't even know a six syllable word. I don't think there is one, maybe supercalifragilistic That's not a word.
Speaker 2:That's not a word. But how many syllables in that, but there are six syllable words, that's seven. What about isn't there a city called Constantinople?
Speaker 1:Constantinople. That's five, i think, and now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.
Speaker 2:There's a song about that.
Speaker 1:There is a song about that.
Speaker 2:There's a fucking song about that Constantinople. I knew you were going to do it.
Speaker 1:I had to do it so I could argue not to. If you hear it, I think it's impossible, if you know the song, not to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had to do it, sorry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, no, don't apologize. Do you have anything else to talk about? about the whale or?
Speaker 2:No, I just think that that's crazy. I did not know that we had an intelligent mammal. No, that's spy unit.
Speaker 1:That's definitely crazy. I thought it would be fun. I wonder if we use turtles. We talked about whales so much. I don't think turtles respond the same way as mammals. They're not mammals really?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Are they mammals? I think they are. No, they're reptiles. Sorry, sorry, Sorry, don't give me that. Look bro. Okay, bro, they live really long bro.
Speaker 1:The mammals don't live as long as them.
Speaker 2:Some mammals maybe.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I almost said a tree. It's getting late. Yeah, a tree lives longer than that. We're getting real far away from mammals now.
Speaker 1:But yeah, man, so it is getting kind of late, so maybe we should wrap this one up. What do you think Sounds good to me, dude? Yeah, so guys, remember about my comedy show coming up Yeah, McCurdy's Comedy Club at 7 pm on the 28th. Other than that, thanks for joining us for this episode of the Weekend Rundown. I've been your host, Drew.
Speaker 2:And this is Daniel, and we hope you join us for the next episode. What we're gonna try and push that one out Sunday next week or Monday.
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, we're gonna do it whenever we're gonna do it.
Speaker 2:Alright, we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 1:Same time next week. Same general time.
Speaker 2:Alright, sounds good.
Speaker 1:Alright, Tuesdays have been our lock, so we'll see you guys next Tuesday. Bye.