#12 Exploring Adversity, Resilience, and Personal Growth in Midlife: Insights from Lifespan Developmental Psychologist, Margie E. Lachman

This episode is a deep dive into the rich tapestry of midlife, featuring insights from lifespan developmental psychologist Dr. Margie E. Lachman. Our discussion navigates the balance of growth and decline that defines this phase and how it can surprisingly catalyze creativity and invention.

From understanding the role of a spouse or parent to discussing the increasing trend of adults choosing not to marry or have children, we tackle the many elements that shape our midlife journey. We shed light on the challenges and rewards of the 'sandwich generation' and explore the intricacies of generativity, a state of peak concern and caring for others that brings purpose and meaning to this phase of life.

As we close our conversation, we discuss adversity, resilience, and personal growth in midlife. Learn how early life experiences cast a long shadow over midlife and how resilience can help us overcome these limitations. We also emphasize the crucial role of physical activity in maintaining health and well-being during this phase. Inspired by the American Psychological Association's special issue on Rethinking Adult Development, we invite you to rethink adult development and the stress that often accompanies midlife. So, tune into this enlightening episode for a fresh perspective on midlife.

American Psychological Association Special Issue on Adult Development: https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/special/amp-rethinking-adult-development-pdf

Midlife in the United States Website: https://midus.wisc.edu/

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

So welcome to the show, Margie. Really happy you're here.

Speaker 2: 0:03

Well, thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here.

Speaker 1: 0:05

Oh, you're welcome. Could you start by giving our listeners some insight into your background and how you became interested in the topics we'll be discussing today?

Speaker 2: 0:13

Sure, I'd be happy to. So I'm a lifespan developmental psychologist and the main premise is that development and growth are possible throughout life, and that seems obvious now, but when I first started in the field, it was largely believed that development was pretty much completed by adolescents, and this grew out of views promoted by Sigmund Freud and Jean Piaget. And I first became interested in aging and ways to promote successful aging from this lifespan perspective. Prior to that, old age was primarily studied by geriatricians, who were mainly focused on how to treat illness and disabilities that come with age, whereas the lifespan approach that I use enriched the study of aging by focusing on the process of aging. So how is later life influenced by earlier periods and what can we do to optimize aging with a focus on prevention?

Speaker 2: 1:11

So I first focused on child development, the early end of the lifespan, and then on the later end of the lifespan, and then I was invited to join a research group funded by the John D and Catherine T MacArthur Foundation, where they asked us to focus on midlife, because they determined that midlife was really the least studied area of the life course. So we set out to try to understand what happens in midlife and we began a very large study today it's known as midlife in the United States which started with a nationally representative sample of over 7000 adults between the ages of 25 and 75. And we followed them for almost 30 years and we're currently continuing our study and we've learned a lot about this midlife period and I will say that I find midlife to be very fascinating period with a lot of interesting issues.

Speaker 1: 2:07

I'm laughing, margie, because that is awesome. You're the perfect podcast guest for this. This is wonderful. Delighted to hear that. So could you tell us a little bit, then, about what makes midlife unique in the context of human development and lifespan development?

Speaker 2: 2:24

So first I want to think about what we mean by midlife. Usually the first question I get asked is when is midlife? So if we use chronological age to define midlife, then we think it typically encompasses ages 40 to 65, plus or minus 5 or 10 years. But another way that I like to think about midlife is as an event or role based position in the family or work setting, and that's not directly tied to age, because people have different life course events at different ages.

Speaker 2: 2:58

So in that sense, midlife is when you're in the middle generation and the family and in the workplace, and so you're interacting a lot with those who are younger and older, and so being in the middle, which sometimes we call the halfway point, actually has special significance. And so what you did earlier in life can have a big impact on how your midlife plays out, and what you do in midlife can have an important impact on later life, and I like to think of this as a pivotal period. Pivotal, according to the dictionary, means of crucial importance in relationship to the development or success of something else. And so I've called midlife a pivotal period, because it does play a very important role in one's own development and the development of others in your social network.

Speaker 1: 3:51

Yeah, that's a really great way to frame it. I know in your writings you've talked a little bit about midlife being a balance of growth and decline, which is something that we need to confront. Could you tell us a little more about that, please, Sure.

Speaker 2: 4:04

So throughout life we experience both gains and losses, or we could call it growth and decline, and in midlife there are some things that I think we know are on the decline path Things like how speed of processing or your memory, functional health and physical things like bone mass, lung function, muscle strength. These are all losses or things that are on their way down, although we can do some things about it. That's the important thing. Sometimes we are able to maintain functioning without loss. But then there are other things that are increasing. So things like knowledge we had, gaining experience, we're getting better at emotion regulation, we increase our sense of purpose in life and meaning in life. A sense of control increases, self-confidence increases. So that's what I mean, in the sense that there's both things on the downswing and things on the upswing, and we thought that this balance would actually put midlife in a favorable spot, that it would be a peak period of functioning, and we actually investigated this with a study of inventors. I did this with two economists, adam Jaffe and Mary Kultenberg, and what we hypothesized was that because certain aspects of cognitive functioning, or intelligence, what we call the pragmatics of intelligence are on the increase, these are the things that are really on the way up and in fact they're very close to a peak in midlife. This is based on your experience and all the knowledge that you've gained. On the other hand, what we call the mechanics of intelligence that's on the down swing. It decreases with age, but yet in midlife it's still pretty much intact. It still has a ways to go before it goes too low and people find that these changes at different rates for different people.

Speaker 2: 6:01

But so what we postulated is that midlife would be the most productive period, given this balance of the pragmatics, or growth, and the mechanics on the decline. So, on the one hand, the processes that are declining are still pretty good they've not reached their low point and the things that are improving are continuing to rise and reaching their peak. So we thought this balance could be an ideal time for creativity and invention, and we in fact found support for that. So we found that midlife was the peak period for patenting across the lifespan. Inventors continue to be creative and get patents into later life, and but patent filers were most productive around midlife. We also found that about 22% of the first time inventors were over the age of 50 years of age. Some inventors continue to be productive well into their 60s and beyond, and it was not unusual for inventors to file patents for the first time later in life. So this is something that continues to develop. People can be creative in midlife and beyond.

Speaker 1: 7:15

Yeah, I really like that because to me it signifies something we can start. Now isn't too late. It may be something that we can still have longevity in investing in and creating and becoming what we want. I think sometimes that isn't the popular conception of midlife. I think sometimes there's some misconceptions, and I'm guessing you found some of those in your research. Would you tell us about some of those please?

Speaker 2: 7:40

Yes, you are right about that. Of course, the big one is the misconceptions about a midlife crisis, so I would be remiss if I didn't address that. If you say the word midlife, most people immediately associate it with crisis. I've done this with my class Free association midlife and they say crisis and I think it's just a universal. Now, of course, the midlife crisis has gotten a lot of attention in the media in novels and movies and TV shows and it's certainly the source of many jokes. It's kind of a fun thing to talk about. We have these sort of stereotypic images of what the midlife crisis is, but our research shows that most people do not have a crisis in midlife. Now, that said, there are some people who do have a legitimate crisis in midlife, so we can't discount it completely.

Speaker 2: 8:33

We found, depending on the sample, between 10 and 20% of our adult population will report that they have had a midlife crisis, although many more than that expect that they will have a midlife crisis based on the stereotypes and the expectations, and I think that contributes a lot to people in their 30s really dreading turning 40.

Speaker 2: 9:28

So we're thinking about having a midlife crisis. The other thing to keep in mind is people have different definitions of what they mean by crisis, and so we don't really have a clear sense of what people say they're having a crisis, what they mean by that. In fact, in our research there were some people who said, yes, I had a midlife crisis, and we asked them, like, how old were you? We thought you know, it might be 40 or 50. It's actually was 30 or it was 65. So it's not the crisis that they call midlife doesn't necessarily occur in midlife. So people do have issues that occur at all points in the life.

Speaker 2: 10:04

You don't have to be in midlife to have a crisis, and so, I think, in midlife, what is common is that you get to a certain point, whether it's turning 50 or turning 50, and it can trigger some concerns about growing older and fears that time is running out.

Speaker 2: 10:22

And it is a time when people think about where have I been, where am I going, where am I now? And it's only natural to think about making changes. Is there something wrong with making changes or going in new directions? But I wouldn't necessarily want to label that a crisis.

Speaker 1: 10:40

That's actually.

Speaker 2: 10:42

But, that said, midlife can be a stressful and difficult time. Not everybody is at the top of their game in midlife, and so we do want to acknowledge that. There's been much written up late about the deaths of despair in midlife due to drug and alcohol use or suicide, and that is a really serious concern that we do need to address. There are some people that are down and out and not doing well. In fact, clinical depression does peak in midlife. Fortunately, that's something that can be treated, and so I think it's important for people to differentiate a midlife crisis from depression, for example.

Speaker 2: 11:21

So people may be feeling bad and having issues but to say it's a midlife crisis. We don't necessarily have treatments for midlife crisis, but we do for depression. So I think it's important that we really understand what's going on and not necessarily label it as a crisis. I think many people do raise questions at midlife about what they've done. Have they met their goals, have they accomplished what they set out to do? And they may want to make some changes, or they realize they didn't do everything they thought they did, and they may revise their goals and go in new directions, and I think that's really a natural process at any transition point, certainly in midlife, but it also could be at other points in time as well transitioning from early adulthood into midlife, or from midlife into later life, or after one graduates college or whatever it might be. Transitions are a natural point for thinking about where one is and where one's going, and it can create some uncertainty and something that we do need to take into account and address.

Speaker 1: 12:28

Oh, definitely, I love that perspective. That's really the point of we associate midlife with crisis, and one of my faults on the show is being kind of an optimist about changing the narrative about these generations, even just in a small way, like you said, acknowledging that we do experience difficulties in midlife. We also experience them across the lifespan, but we're also in a unique place in midlife to adapt to those challenges, hopefully in a healthy way, with support and knowledge. I know one area that is unique to midlife is we have intergenerational relationships. Can you talk a little bit about how that relates to the midlife experience?

Speaker 2: 13:15

Yes, definitely. I think of midlife as a period where we bridge across generations. You literally are in the middle of the younger and older generations, both in terms of one's family, but also in society in general, in the workplace, but the trajectory of midlife will really differ depending on what roles you have. It's typically the time with the most roles, so you may be a spouse, a parent, an adult child, a worker, etc. But not everybody has the same role, so there's a lot of diversity, and that complicates our study of midlife, because people have different life situations.

Speaker 2: 13:58

And the other thing to keep in mind is that there are a lot of demographic changes going on right now, so the number of adults who are marrying has been declining, as has the number of people who have children, and the age at which people marry and the age at which they have children are creeping up.

Speaker 2: 14:17

The timing of when these events happen really does have an impact on how midlife plays out in terms of relationships with younger and older family members, and some people are actually grandparents in midlife. It depends again on how young you were when you had children, or how young your parents were when they had you, and so the intergenerational relationships of aging Really do play a role in terms of what roles you will have in midlife, but there are many middle-aged adults who have grandparents and some people don't become grandparents until Well past midlife. But I do think that the Consistent experience is that much of the attention in midlife is to the needs of other people, whether they be your children or your co-workers or people in your Religious institutions or other other settings. It's a very common focus.

Speaker 1: 15:18

Yeah, for sure. A term I've heard is sandwich generation. Yeah and that speaks to what you're saying and I think I'm guessing there's a lot that goes on psychologically in terms of the emotion, rewards of that and the challenges. So could you talk just a little bit more about what you've seen in your research with that, yes, yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:37

In midlife there is a need to balance multiple roles and juggle demands, and that can be a primary source of problems and stress, and so the prototypical middle-aged adult who has children living at home and adult parents who are aging and starting to need help in a variety of ways is what we refer to as the sandwich generation, and kind of squeezed between the needs of the younger and the older adults in the family and at the same time these middle-aged adults are also dealing with their own demands at work and taking care of their own health, because after all, middle-aged adults are Experiencing changes in health and physical functioning that really do require attention.

Speaker 2: 16:21

So it really can be a very stressful time. And I think this notion of sandwich, kind of slapped in between these Slept between two pieces of bread, or I'd like to think of it more as a bridge. I like that, that analogy, better that there you go.

Speaker 2: 16:38

Bridge between generations, but certainly the sandwich generation or the squeeze, does get a lot of attention. I think it's also important to point out that this is it can also be a very rewarding time, because you really are experiencing a lot of positivity in the typically in the kinds of roles that you're playing. They're very rewarding and also we do find that life satisfaction does increase with age. So this is a time, this period that we call Sandwiched in between generations. It's a time when you are needed and it makes life very meaningful. It's a time when caring for care I guess what. It's a time when caring and concern for others is at a peak.

Speaker 2: 17:25

We call this generativity, yes, being something that this comes from Erickson's work that I know that you've spoken about in some of your earlier podcasts.

Speaker 2: 17:36

So this notion of jet generativity, or concern and caring for others, really is at a peak in midlife, if not by default, but I think it's really makes a lot of sense because Developmentally, it really you're no longer have to worry about who you are and what you're doing, necessarily where you're becoming, so now you can actually, based on your own experience, help other people to develop and become full-fledged adults.

Speaker 2: 18:03

So I think this can bring a lot of satisfaction and sense of meaning and purpose, and one can derive a lot of pleasure From guiding and helping others. So we see this play out not just in the family but also in the workplace, religious groups and volunteer work in the community and other organizations. And Another term that I like to think about is mentoring. Mentoring comes naturally in midlife because you've gotten, you've had, you've gone through the ropes in a way. You've obtained experience in certain domains and now you can share that with other people and so you can make a difference using your own accumulated experience and skills, whether it's you know people in the family or children or neighbors, or People in the workplace or other avenues in society. It's a mentoring becomes, I think, a really satisfying role in midlife.

Speaker 1: 19:00

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can definitely provide purpose meaning and just a positive way to interact across generations, in my Experience and I would imagine for others.

Speaker 2: 19:10

I would agree very much so.

Speaker 1: 19:13

I'd kind of like to move into talking about Adversity and the challenges, but then growth, you know, from a I guess you'd call positive psychology type of perspective. Really, there are a couple areas of adversity I've seen in your writing. One, one area that I've heard are kind of those early Life events that influence midlife. Yes, please talk a little bit more about that.

Speaker 2: 19:35

Sure, we've done a few studies that have looked at how Experiences in early life have a long reach into midlife, both emotionally and physically. So, for example, childhood adversity Can really have long-term effects on midlife. So two kinds of things that we've looked at is people from low socio-economic environments, where they have Limited resources in childhood, or if they have mistreated, say maybe child abuse or something along those lines, can have long-term effects and they may be tied to things like chronic diseases in midlife, inflammation, poor cognition, early immortality, and we do see what sometimes referred to as the biological residue of these early life events. But I don't want to stop there, because the good news is that it's possible to mitigate these effects of adversity. So even though you may have some adverse experiences as a young adult or a child, that doesn't predetermine that you're going to have problems in midlife.

Speaker 2: 20:46

There are what we call resilience factors or plasticity, that allow you to adjust and adapt and Really overcome the limitations.

Speaker 2: 20:56

So you're at risk You're at greater risk for poor outcomes, but there are many things that can mitigate or moderate these effects, such as psychological resources like having Warm family Relationships or having people, a support network of some sort that can play a buffering role To protect your health against adversity, or people who get more education. Those additional education in adulthood can really overcome some of the limitations that or risks that you might be associated with having early life adversity. So, and also there's other sort of psychological resources like having a sense of control what I call it can do attitude Can really help you to overcome some of the limitations. So, yes, we do see that early life Influences can play out in midlife and can have negative effects, but we are really happy to find that there are these resilience factors that can help people to reduce the risk and to basically have these benefits and resources that will help them to Really play out in a much more positive way in midlife.

Speaker 1: 22:15

Yeah, so fascinating and such an important point. I I've been thinking too about the unique adversities of midlife, or some of those that are more common, maybe a death of a parent, a child moving out, a divorce, you know. Would you say that it's similar in terms of personal growth, or are there some unique factors to consider in that as well?

Speaker 2: 22:37

Yeah, so, um, we In midlife, there are going to be a lot of adverse events that could happen and we can. That's good thing. That I that we really know from the work that we've done, is that you can learn from your past experiences. So we all are going to face challenges throughout life, and one of our studies we found that among those who had faced adversity such as an illness, death of someone close or loss of a job, unemployment can be very distressing. More than 80% said that they were able to learn something beneficial from the hardships and that they experienced personal growth. So what they did? They are able to draw on their past experiences to cope with new problems and To share their experiences with others in times of difficulty. So learning from difficulties can really go a long way and if you can get through the hard times and find ways to cope, this can help To increase your self-esteem and your confidence to handle other challenges that are likely to come along, because we all do face challenges.

Speaker 2: 23:50

So adversity is. We don't like to experience adversity, but once one is able to cope with it, it actually can lead to some positive growth. The effects of midlife Are long, also have a long reach on later life. So your health in midlife and how well you're doing in midlife can have long-term effects on your later life health and longevity. There's been a number of studies that have shown that Things like hypertension in midlife or obesity in midlife Increase your risk of having problems such as dementia or Alzheimer's disease in later life many, many years later. So this is a good reason for being vigilant in midlife about exactly what's health and well-being In midlife?

Speaker 1: 24:37

Yeah, yeah, it's important to Take those small steps we can now to cultivate Well, wellness and well-being, and I'm sure some of those action steps have been shown in your research, you know. Could you talk about some, some maybe specific actions that people can take towards growth and happiness and well-being?

Speaker 2: 24:57

Sure. So I want to acknowledge that midlife can be challenging, given all the demands.

Speaker 2: 25:03

There's no doubt about that, but there's always going to be bumps in the road, so it's important to develop skills to meet them and something that will help you to acquire skills that can be shared with others. So I think it's important to keep in mind that there will always be ups and downs and that this is particularly salient in midlife. So things that I think are really important are having a good social support network. That can go a really long way. So Asking others for help and support can be important for navigating the middle years. One should not hesitate to ask for help, because you also will be able to give to others and help others, and that also seems to be beneficial. So it's not just receiving support, but giving support and helping others goes a long way in terms of being beneficial for your well-being.

Speaker 2: 26:02

So I wanted to add one other thing that I would be remiss if I didn't mention, and that is that what seems to be a panacea for everything is physical activity. I've done a number of studies on physical activity, and the percentage of people who are physically active is relatively small, believe it or not, in the United States, and there are so many studies that show the positive benefits of being physically active for all aspects of health. Now, it doesn't necessarily mean going to the gym or this activity. It could be moderate activity with things like walking, but being physically active increases one's well-being, both physical health, psychological health and cognitive health, and this is the one thing that is like not refuted in the literature. There's never been anything that shows it's negative. It always has positive, long-term effects. So I want to emphasize that physical activity and I think you could combine your social interactions with physical activity you can go on a walk with someone else, and there you get.

Speaker 2: 27:16

You've got two things going at the same time. You've got your social contact, social support and then also physical activity, but also exercising the brain is important as well. Keeping your mind active with cognitive-stimulating activity seems to be protective for loss of memory and other cognitive abilities which many people in midlife report are seen to be starting to show declines.

Speaker 1: 27:44

Can you give an example of keeping your cognition active?

Speaker 2: 27:50

Yeah, it could be, as well as listening to a podcast. You're digesting information and you're learning something new. Learning something new is really the key because it creates new pathways in the brain. So it's always good to learn something new, whether it's listening to information in a lecture or a podcast. But also learning new skills like learning how to nib or learning how to work a computer, whatever it might be all of those things learning new things are really good for improving one's cognitive abilities.

Speaker 1: 28:28

Yeah, great Boy, I lobbed that softball up to you and knocked it out of the park. I just want the listeners to know we didn't plan that.

Speaker 2: 28:36

No, it was definitely spontaneous.

Speaker 1: 28:41

So this has been so much great information, margie, as we move towards the end of this. I know this is a really difficult question for someone who's written and researched so much about midlife, but if I asked you to give us a primary takeaway or a message you want us to know about midlife, what would it be?

Speaker 2: 29:00

Yeah, I like that question. You're right, this probably could take another half hour or so, but I won't. I would try to make it succinct, but I think this is what I would say. What one does in midlife has an impact on the well-being of those younger and older in the family, workplace and society in general, and it also has long-term consequences for one's own later life. The young and old alike rely on those in midlife to provide resources, make decisions and solve problems. So what I would say is investment in one's health and well-being in midlife can really pay big dividends in the future, not only for oneself, but for all of those who are in your social realm.

Speaker 1: 29:55

Well said and something to continue to think about and integrate into our lives. Thank you so much. I'm wondering I'm sure you've sparked a lot of interest in the listeners in terms of wanting to learn more. Along this line, what resources would you recommend for those that want to continue learning?

Speaker 2: 30:15

Yeah, I'd be happy to suggest. I think the first place I would go is to the website for our Midlife in the United States study.

Speaker 2: 30:24

Okay, we have a wealth of information, not only for researchers but also for the general public, and so that website is very simple it's Midas W-I-S-C, e-d-u, so it's headquartered at the University of Wisconsin.

Speaker 2: 30:42

That's why it's W-I-S-C, so MidasWisp E-D-U is a really fantastic website that has all of our research from the Midas study and it's really, I think, a lot of information that the general public would find interesting. For those who are more adventurous and might want to read something from a scientific journal, there was a special issue that I worked on with colleagues Jeff Arnett and Oliver Robinson in 2020, may 2020. There was a special issue of the American psychologist, and you could get that at APAorg so the American Psychological Associationorg and it's a special issue called Rethinking Adult Development, and it has a lot of interesting papers about how things are changing in adulthood, with a particular focus across the young, middle and later life. But there's quite a few papers on Midlife per se that I wrote with colleagues Frankenfer and Dennis Gerstoff, and also there's some papers about stress in midlife and how it's increasing. So I think people would find it quite interesting, and it's written in a more general sense than some of the scientific papers that you might find, so I would recommend that as well.

Speaker 1: 32:10

Oh, that sounds perfect. So put those links in our episode description as well, to make it easier for people to find. Okay, excellent. So those are great, margie. As we come to a close, this has been a really enlightening, thought-provoking discussion on a well-lived midlife and beyond, and it's really empowering to know that the things we've been talking about are backed up by research, and so, on behalf of everyone listening, thank you for all the work that you've done to provide that research background for us to learn from and for us to grow from, and also just thank you for sharing your time with us today and your knowledge. It's been a real pleasure.

Speaker 2: 32:52

Yeah, well, I've enjoyed it as well. It's been my pleasure to share the information and I appreciate you're asking me to participate in this podcast. It's been a lot of fun. I enjoyed your questions. Wonderful and we're stimulating it, so I appreciate that.