How much does it really cost to raise a child?

Today, we discussed our thoughts on a CBS report found HERE. This report states it costs over 300,000 to raise a child to the age of 18. We discussed our numbers on one of our own kids..well Lauren's kid. And just to be clear, this figure doesn't not include the cost of the child's college education. To rephrase it, this is just for the cold hard day to day costs from birth to adulthood. Listen to this episode to hear if we think these numbers are right.

Before you go listen to this episode, could you do us a favor and share our podcast with a friend? If each of our loyal listeners shared our show with one friend we would double our listeners in one day. If you know a young mom who is feeling overwhelmed, we would love for them to be encouraged by women who have been there. Let's build community!

Lastly, have you heard our episode about getting kids interested in gardening. Listen to that HERE Gardening is a great way to save on food costs for your family. Why not make it a family project and include the kiddos.

Music is by Oliver Massa. It is called Weekend Chores

Transcript

Recap

The cost of raising a child is often exaggerated, and it is possible to raise children for much less than the estimated $330,000 over a lifetime.

Making conscious choices and prioritizing expenses can significantly reduce the cost of raising children.

Buying secondhand clothes, growing your own food, and budgeting for extracurricular activities are effective ways to save money.

Undoubtedly, having children is not selfish; it brings joy and fulfillment to many people's lives.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates

06:05 Debunking the Myth: The Cost of Raising Children

25:33 Saving Money: Buying Secondhand Clothes and Growing Your Own Food

29:05 The Joy and Fulfillment of Raising a Family

34:57 Conclusion

Transcript

Lauren (00:04.302)

Hello listeners! This is Lifestyle Hustle. Thanks for coming to listen to us today. Because of a vacation that we have coming up, we are recording another episode kind of on the heels of the last time that we recorded, so we don't have a ton to talk about with our personal life, unless you'd like to hear the same thing that we talked about last week.

Ellyn (00:30.151)

you

Lauren (00:31.95)

Ellen, what do you have going on that's different? I heard that you went to the big city today.

Ellyn (00:37.799)

We did. And by big city, I mean, not, not real big kind of like small city by our standards. We live in a very small town. So the next town over is where the bigger stores are the Walmarts and the Sam's and restaurants and the home improvement store, all that stuff that is about 40 minutes away. And so we honestly don't get up there very often just because it's so peoply up there. So we like our little town. But about once a month we got to go up there and do a Sam's run and you know get whatever home improvement things we're working on and all of that stuff. So today was the day and we braved the big city and the humanity.

Lauren (01:31.47)

Yeah, huge.

Ellyn (01:35.174)

There's just so many people up there. Well, for me, it's the day before July 4th as of this recording. So it was very busy up there because everybody's getting their hot dogs and their hamburgers all ready for tomorrow. And we were too. So we just joined the throng and went into it. So that was my big excitement on the day. And since we don't go up there very often and

We just took our youngest with us and she was just over the moon about it because, you know, small town life is kind of boring. Big city living is good. She likes it. So we had fun.

Lauren (02:22.99)

I did something kind of exciting today too. One of my friends has children that's coming of age, so they're looking to do odd jobs to support themselves, and I hired one of them. Ha ha! To come and weed my side flower bed that I despise. I hate this flower bed, and it shows.

Ellyn (02:57.317)

And how'd they do?

Lauren (02:59.182)

So he's gonna, he's coming next week. I got his phone number and I conversed with him like he was a businessman so that he could have the experience. I kinda like it because my son is going to do this someday and now that friend owes me. Ha ha.

Ellyn (03:03.397)

okay.

Ellyn (03:13.253)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (03:23.397)

And I love it when people are willing to help other people's kids have grown up experiences and conversations. I have always appreciated that when my teens were able to talk business, whether it be something like that or just conversing with adults. And I think that that is kind of an advantage that a lot of homeschoolers have in that they are out in the community a little bit more. So they get a little bit more interaction with adults, but getting the chance to go and have a business conversation, like I'm going to take care of your flower beds for you and here's how much I charge. And I

being able to assert themselves for a purpose. And I think it's so good for him. And I was so thankful when teens, when my teens had that opportunity with other adults. So I'm sure that she will be very thankful to you, maybe thankful enough even to hire your kid in a few years.

Lauren (04:36.046)

I know, in another, you know, five years. I'm gonna be marking this on the calendar. If he does a good job, I might have him come back in the fall. This is a really despised flower bed. I don't like it because it's in a sunny spot for like an hour out of the day and the whole rest of the time it's in the shade. And because of that, it's hard to figure out what plants to put there. Our late afternoon sun on that part of the yard is just brutal and that's the kind of sun it's in. So I can't put anything shady there, but I can't put sun loving plants there either because they would also die. So yeah, I just really hate this bed. I hate messing around with it. weeds grow really well in it. 

Ellyn (05:31.235)

which is what he's going to handle for you.

Lauren (05:34.862)

Yes, exactly. I think it has like two plants that I don't want them to pull out.

Ellyn (05:40.483)

Hehehe

Lauren (05:43.31)

So today's topic is the extraordinary cost of children, at least what they tell us is extraordinary. Over a their lifetime, it's like $330 ,000.

Ellyn (06:05.347)

Or so the experts say.

Lauren (06:07.758)

Exactly. So when I heard the figure, I thought that's ridiculous. It can't really cost that much. And so we set about checking and going through our numbers at home to check and see if our kids really cost that much. And we figured it out by the year. So that the numbers would be a little bit easier, but Our number is less. It's almost half of what the government says that it should be. And we took it out of my higher cost of living area here. But I don't know, a lot of me thinks that

It's not a made up number. I'm sure they came up with someone somewhere who's spending that much money on their kids. But I feel like it's something that they came up with to discourage people from having kids. What do you think?

Ellyn (07:13.919)

I completely agree. There are too many people in this world, so let's come up with a ridiculously high number and then maybe people won't have any more kids or have any kids.

Lauren (07:25.07)

Mm -hmm. And young people are the targets of this and young people don't have the life experience to be like, well, no, they don't cost that much because they're young. Also the people that have the most children are young. 

Ellyn (07:40.414)

So like Lauren, I feel like that where you raise a family does play a pretty big role in how much your yearly expenses are. Lauren definitely lives in a more, I like to say, hoity -toity area than I do. But, But there are certainly higher costs living areas to live than even where she does. So yes, you could definitely spend closer to that $18 ,000 a year mark, which is what $330 ,000 works out to broken up over 18 years. So yes, you could spend more. I mean, if you send your kids to the most expensive private school, yes, you could absolutely spend way more than we're doing. But I don't think you have to. In fact, I know you don't have to because we don't.

Lauren (08:44.686)

Mm -hmm.

I wonder too if that number includes college. I've heard the number before and I've heard the inquiry about it including college.

Ellyn (08:55.868)

It doesn't because it's from birth to 18. That was the figure from birth to 18.

Lauren (09:03.918)

Okay.

Ellyn (09:09.5)

So college would be in addition to this if a parent chose to pay for their kids' college, which I don't wholly advocate for. But that's another topic.

Lauren (09:22.702)

I think it depends. Yeah, it is. I mean, we didn't get into it just shallowly. I think it really depends on what your kid wants to do. If they want to be a doctor, clearly they have to go to college. But I don't know. I don't I wouldn't ever push it on my kid. Like this is a foregone conclusion. You're definitely going to college. No, I don't think that's the world we live in anymore. I think you can be very successful without going to college.

Ellyn (09:35.003)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (09:44.539)

Right.

Ellyn (09:52.058)

100 % agree.

Lauren (09:52.142)

And I think that it's a problem with our generations, millennials and whatever you guys are, I don't know. I know you're a different generation. But I think it's a problem for us that our parents, not our parents specifically, but in general told us that we need to go to college. Everyone goes to college. You can't be anything unless you go to college. Nothing worthwhile.

Ellyn (10:22.425)

Mm -hmm. And I actually remember that from my talks with my guidance counselor in high school. And she definitely was pushing college on students. And personally, I knew that I didn't want that at that stage in my life. So I didn't really pay attention to that talking point from her. But I know it was pushed on us. And I feel it's caused a lot of problems.

Lauren (10:51.214)

Definitely.

Ellyn (10:52.312)

for adults our age to pay student loan debt. But anyway, that's not really our topic for today.

Lauren (10:58.51)

Moving right along. So, but it does kind of feed into our topic. How often are we as people, as parents, as citizens, spending more money on things than we really need to be for convenience sake, because it's what we're told that we should do and that

Ellyn (11:17.624)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (11:25.646)

I think that that number, that 330,000 is real for someone. It's not real for us because, I mean, you guys know that we're pretty careful about budgeting, but I think that number's probably low for some people, depending on where you live and what you're doing, like the kind of stuff that you're buying, how

Ellyn (11:43.736)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (11:52.302)

how much you're making with your own hands as opposed to buying and Not sure exactly where I'm going, but I think you can save a lot of money in different ways. And I mean, just the other day where we're like, we should do another budgeting episode. And we were like, budgeting for groceries. Nope, did it. Budgeting for baking. No, nope, we did that one. Because we.

Ellyn (12:11.733)

Ha ha.

Ellyn (12:16.597)

Vacation, no, did that too. In the garden, no, no, we did that too. We did two on that. Anyway.

Lauren (12:27.438)

We should do a budgeting for kids episode. That's kind of what we're doing today.

Ellyn (12:31.22)

Hahaha!

So a few of the areas that we looked at when we were coming up with this figure, and this is definitely Lauren's figure, but I did help her come up with areas. So, you know, I got to input too. Anyway, so extracurriculars, and we definitely feel that extracurriculars, so this would be things like the sports your kids do, an instrument that perhaps you pay for lessons on, maybe boy scouts or girl scouts or clubs and stuff that they would be in. So these would be your extracurriculars. Obviously, we've talked about this in the past. We do feel that this is an important part of raising a child to give them a well -balanced childhood and you know.

Lauren (13:09.742)

and gymnastics, sports, we already said sports.

Lauren (13:29.518)

But...

Ellyn (13:30.803)

being able to do some extra things is good for them.

Lauren (13:34.67)

Yeah. Is that in your number? Like, I know some people really don't think it's important to do extracurriculars, and in that case, you'd be spending a little bit less money. Well, I altogether we have four extracurriculars that our kids are participating in right now. Some of them are participating in the same one. But, so maybe you wouldn't want your kids in that man. Maybe you just do one at a time and save some money. But for me right now, that's how many and my number is still about halfcof what the government says it should be. And we didn't include everything in there probably like not on purpose, but because we just, I'm sure we missed stuff that they're costing that we just didn't think of or couldn't figure out.

Ellyn (14:47.696)

And so some of our other areas that we looked at were housing and utilities, electric, vehicle costs. So we really tried to make it something that was.

over the span of the entire child, not just what that specific child is using, but all the things within the home that a child would take part in that would end up possibly costing the family more because of the child. If that makes sense. So your utility costs are going to be slightly higher. You're going to need a slightly larger home. If you have kids, you're going to need a slightly larger vehicle. I mean, you're not going to drive a Volkswagen bug with three kids because you can't. 

Lauren (15:26.318)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (15:44.174)

Well, you could. I've seen people do it. I don't know how they fit them all right there, but they did it.

Ellyn (15:50.896)

I bet they don't have the long legs of your kids. Maybe little people might be able to manage it, but we are not little people. And so we need a big vehicle.

Lauren (15:54.286)

Probably not, no. I know my sister-in-law. Well, she had a Sedan for a while, but she only had two kids. I've seen other people squeeze three kids into the back seat of a Sedan.

Ellyn (16:09.808)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (16:15.12)

Doesn't sound fun. And it sounds very grumpy.

Lauren (16:16.686)

No, it's, it's, I mean, we have, I know we have a car that only has one backseat instead of the two row seats, but we only squeeze the kids into it when

Ellyn (16:28.144)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (16:45.966)

there. I can believe this. We only squeeze the kids in there when we're going like for inspection or some cars being repaired. Like it's in the most dire of circumstances that all of them back there. And because of that, it's actually kind of exciting. They're like, we're all so close together. And when my youngest was a baby, that was a really exciting because they had like more access to her back there.

Ellyn (16:57.232)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (17:02.768)

Hehehe

huh. She was not fond of the car rides there for a while.

Lauren (17:14.798)

Not sure how she felt about it.

Lauren (17:22.286)

No, she never was. I had two pukers that puked the whole time that they were rear -facing. So, yeah. Not to get off the subject or anything into something that may ruin your dinner, but yeah.

Ellyn (17:37.072)

All right, moving right along.

Lauren (17:43.022)

I yeah, getting back on the topic at hand. The education costs are actually a consideration for us too, because we have either done private school or. Or homeschool. So that's you know, that's an expense that most people don't have. So where are we saving money? I think that that's an important part of this topic that we should kind of cover. Why is it costing us less besides just the place that we live?

Ellyn (18:22.128)

And before you move on to that, which I'm looking forward to, but the, in addition to that, we did add in a thousand dollar incidentals because we know that we haven't covered everything. There are incidental costs on, having a child, but Lauren's figure was actually 8 ,500. 

Ellyn (18:53.2)

okay. All right. So we added in an additional thousand dollars for the things that we didn't think of. So, and we still only came up with a half. So I think that with that, that is a fairly accurate representation of what this child costs her parents every year.

Lauren (19:20.302)

You

And this is the child that's in the most expensive extracurriculars. So we picked the most expensive child.

Ellyn (19:32.368)

And your oldest child, so her clothes actually will be passed down, which will lower the cost of your third child.

Lauren (19:43.182)

Mm -hmm.

Yep. So that's a good place to start is clothes. Every single year I get clothes from a few sources that are all really cheap or free. Free is my favorite. The lady across the street has given us clothes from her two sons for my son. Since we have lived here, we've gotten clothes from her.

Ellyn (20:04.24)

Hmm

Lauren (20:15.534)

from for either free or she gives us a garbage bag full of clothes for 20 bucks. And they're good clothes too. And it's not like already ruined stuff or anything like that. It's it's all name brand and her kids must spend a lot of time inside. Because the clothes didn't have any holes. Now, like when he's done with them, I

Ellyn (20:35.152)

It's good.

Lauren (20:43.982)

have to throw half of them away. Half or most of them get thrown away and I just donate the rest. Anything that doesn't have holes in it. But, and my youngest inherits her full wardrobe from her older sister and those are all perfectly good clothes too. Now my oldest gets her clothes from either her grandma, her grandma works at a secondhand store and she gets a lot of stuff for really really cheap there for her or she inherits it from her cousins. And I know everyone doesn't have access to really nice neighbors across the street or cousins that are just going to pass down everything. That's where the consignment sales come in. And I looked this up in your area Ellen, you have a consignment sale in the city.

Ellyn (21:39.888)

I know. Yes, it's in that big city. I know. But...

Lauren (21:43.278)

Yeah, so if you look on Facebook or even on the just regular internet in any medium -sized town or where you live, they have these sales and it's a it's like a gym, a high school gym size

room where it's just filled up with clothes and and I don't know about everywhere but here they won't take anything that has holes in it or stains or you know anything like that and it is it's really nice stuff. I got Ellen stuff from mine this year. Yeah I felt really useful. It was.

Ellyn (22:21.712)

It's nice stuff.

Ellyn (22:29.456)

That was a fun video call.

Lauren (22:34.606)

She's got her daughter on there and we picked out a whole bunch of clothes for her.

Ellyn (22:42.16)

And if not a consignment sale, which Lauren is right, they are all over because everybody's kids grow out of clothes and it is nice to get a little something back out of the clothes that they grew out of. So a lot of places do this, but if that's not for you, that's okay. Or if you can't find one in your area, go to the yard sales, go to the Salvation Army, go to any of the, you know, brick and mortar secondhand places, they all have clothes and they generally have standards by which they will keep their clothes looking nice. They're not going to have stains and stuff on them. And that is an awesome way to save a whole lot of money. I, if I spend  $200 on all of my kids clothes for a year, That's a lot because I really do try to keep them in clothes that I didn't have to buy new. I shop clearance sales all the time when I'm in stores. I've actually gotten both of my teens on thrifting. It sounds cool when you call it thrifting.

Lauren (23:48.014)

It is.

Lauren (24:08.366)

I know, it does, it really does.

Ellyn (24:11.088)

So, and this has saved us a lot of money. And I started with, I don't think I did it with my son, but with my daughter. I said to her, well, I've got $100 to spend on your wardrobe for this season or for this year. You can spend that money however you want. So she could have gone out and bought herself a really nice pair of sneakers, but then she would have on her own for the rest of her wardrobe. But she's learned that you if you go to these places and you shop around, you can get nice stuff for a lot less money. And so I'm, I'm kind of proud I instilled that in her.

Lauren (24:46.705)

And it's good for them to do that. Yep. I remember my husband's parents did that too and with him I bet he just wore the same clothes for several years. I moved out and the army gave him free clothes. Here, here's your clothes.

Ellyn (25:05.072)

They were all the same thing, but you know, they were free.

Lauren (25:09.55)

I know. They all looked like an army uniform because they were. But yeah, they were free.

Ellyn (25:19.28)

No.

Lauren (25:22.254)

But that's not the only place that you can save money. I definitely advocate for.

Lauren (25:33.518)

Growing your own vegetables too, that will save you a little bit of money in the food budget and making your own food is just such an amazing way to. And if you want a little help with that, we have several episodes on homemade food. And we also have a whole bunch of recipes on our website. If you guys want to check those out for just ways to save money when you're cooking.

Ellyn (26:06.307)

Mm -hmm, definitely.

Ellyn (26:11.943)

That's huge.

Lauren (26:14.51)

We've talked about it before too with the vehicle. When you're purchasing a vehicle, if you get a brand new car, then that's going to cost you a lot more. And also if you don't save up for it, you're going to end up paying a lot in interest. So that's another way to save a little bit of money. Like it's it's a little bit harder because you're going to go through a few years with the beater. Well, you're saving up but that beater isn't costing you anything. As a person with kind of old car right now, I love that car because it doesn't cost anything.

Ellyn (27:00.129)

We're at the beater stage in our vehicle ownership and it is a humbling experience, but you know what? When I'm parked next to nice cars, I just think to myself, they're making payments and I'm not.

Lauren (27:16.974)

I know. And you know, there is a point where an old car is no longer worth it, but I'm not there yet.

Ellyn (27:25.729)

Nope, me neither.

Lauren (27:27.726)

Takes a while to get there, actually.

Lauren (27:57.742)

So let's talk a little bit about why these numbers are a thing. We talk about it a little bit at the top, but I feel like if a young couple or young people are told, well, every single kid that you have is going to cost $330 ,000, it sounds insurmountable. Like right now to me saying it's going to cost you about $10 ,000 a year for one of your kids, that seems crazy.

Ellyn (28:25.888)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (28:36.59)

But that's not how you're paying it. Like you're not, you're not just handing over $10 ,000 and they're handing you a kid or $330 ,000. it's, it's just not like that. And I also want to point out that things change as you get older. The cost of a baby is way less than the cost of a teenager.

Ellyn (28:46.974)

Right.

Lauren (29:05.87)

And when you have your babies is usually when your income's lowest. Yeah, so your income also increases over time. And then when they move out and that weight is lifted, it's like, wow, we have an extra $30 ,000.

Ellyn (29:22.782)

Just sitting around. I also feel like it can be such a discouragement. I'm glad that this figure wasn't around when we started having kids because I feel like it would have been such a discouragement like, we're never ever going to be able to afford to have kids. And it's just not true. Honestly, you make it work.

Lauren (29:36.878)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (29:51.005)

I know that when we had our first child, we financially were not in a position to be adding people to our household. But we did it anyway and we made it work. It might be that you don't get to go out and have as much fun when you add a child to your house, but it's okay because all the fun is now in your house.

Lauren (30:04.814)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (30:17.998)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (30:18.333)

You get this snuggly little person that you get to hold. So I would encourage, I guess, young people that do not pay this too much attention because I don't feel like it's valid. Somewhere someone is spending that much money, but I don't think most people have to. And those that are, are choosing to.

Ellyn (30:49.403)

through whatever life circumstances they've created for themselves. Maybe they live in an expensive area. Maybe they are choosing very expensive extracurriculars for their kids. Maybe they do drive very, very nice cars. These are choices that they're making that are making it cost more than it has to. And so I love to see a young couple with a baby, even knowing how expensive it is to live right now, that they have chosen to think outside themselves think about wanting to bring new life into this world.

Lauren (31:29.838)

And it's not just, it's not just thinking outside yourself. It's selfish to have kids. And a lot of people think that it's selfish not to. No, it's, it's a little selfish to have them too, because you get to see them grow and you get to witness everything about their little lives and I love that. I've loved that. And when I'm old and I look back on my kids and their kids and the impact I made on the world, that's what I'm going to really appreciate. Not.

Lauren (32:16.462)

I don't know. Like, I can't think of anything that's even comparable.

Ellyn (32:19.226)

not saving that $18 ,000 a year. What's the point of money?

Lauren (32:23.374)

No! What would I spend it on? Yeah. If you don't have any kids. Like, I don't know. I can't think of anything else I'd like to spend it on. what kind of life did I live when I was single? I don't want to live like that forever.

Ellyn (32:40.698)

I don't remember. Jason and I were married for five years before we had kids and you guys were married for longer than that even. And I don't remember, what did we do with ourselves? I have no idea. We must have had so much time, but.

Lauren (32:50.734)

Yeah.

Lauren (32:57.55)

Well, I remember we went and we went and saw movies. I had a full time job. We went out to dinner at least once a week. But those were such shallow things. I can't imagine trying to fill my life up with.

Ellyn (33:15.289)

Yeah.

Lauren (33:18.222)

Like I said, I'm glad to be where I'm at. I can't imagine being anywhere else. And I would trade, you know, $18 ,000 a year for a child. Thankfully, I think that number is extremely unrealistic. I don't think they cost anywhere near that much. And even the number that I did come up with, I think it's less than that because I did give some to incidentals and because I did a fifth of everything when I don't think that they really cost us a fifth of everything. I think Steve and I use up most of the utilities, but you know.

Ellyn (34:02.425)

The kids just sit around in the dark. I'm kidding.

Lauren (34:06.638)

Exactly, they do. They just don't cost that much to run.

Lauren (34:15.022)

yeah, I don't know. I think the number is really discouraging. And like I said, I don't necessarily think that the people who came up with it are malicious. I think that it's had a bad impact on people. Whether or not they intended it to, I don't think matters as much. I'm just looking at the results of that.

Ellyn (34:57.527)

Okay. Well guys, this has been a fun little topic to explore. I hope you enjoyed the show today. If you want to leave us a comment, head on over to the website or our social media pages and let us know what you think. Do kids cost $18 ,000 a year to raise or is that number too big? Or not enough. Maybe it costs you more where you live, which wow. Until next time.