The Attack on Traditional Families

Today we discussed our feelings on an article written about Ballerina Farms by The Times found HERE. Go give it a read before listening. We definitely had feelings on the interviewers tone in the article. She didn't come in with an unbiased stance. As a result, she made several snide comments about Hannah, her husband and her children. We discussed the overreaching theme of the article as an attack on traditional families.

Have you read our article from last week about adding herbs to your vegetable garden. Read that HERE

If you're wondering what we said in our first trad wife episode, you can check that out HERE

Transcript

Recap

The portrayal of traditional families in the media can be negative and judgmental.

Women should have the choice to pursue a career or stay at home and raise a family.

Society should respect and value different lifestyles and choices.

The family structure and dynamics have evolved over time, and it's important to adapt and support each other.

The first wave of feminism gave women the option to have a job and not get married, but it's important to recognize that different choices can bring happiness. Women should have the choice to prioritize their role as mothers without feeling shame or judgment.

Being a stay-at-home mom allows for more quality time with children and the ability to be present for important milestones.

The traditional wife and mother role should not be associated with subservience or perfection.

It is important to challenge societal expectations and support women in their choices.

Follow and share the podcast to stay updated on future episodes.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Current Events

11:44 Discussion of the Controversial Article

18:46 The Attack on Traditional Families

21:02 The Importance of Choice and Respect

22:42 The Pressure and Judgment Faced by Stay-at-Home Moms

26:12 Choosing Motherhood: The Joy and Importance of Being Present

32:13 Breaking Stereotypes: The Modern Traditional Wife and Mother

35:27 Supporting Women's Choices: Challenging Societal Expectations

44:27 Stay Tuned: Follow and Share the Podcast for More Insights

Transcript

Ellyn (00:11.425)

Today on WifeStyle Hustle, we're talking about ballerina farms and an article that was written about them.

Lauren (00:20.512)

Yeah, I'm sure you guys have heard something about it. I've heard about it like eight different places So it was some pretty interesting stuff and we're gonna get into it today because it kind of pertains to our way of life.  But first We'll Talk a little bit because why not? So the big news here is we've got flooding big time

Ellyn (00:50.141)

And here we are, six hours north of Lauren, and I also have flooding. The remnants of Debbie is coming through. most of the East Coast has flooding right now, and it's disgusting. We're kind of over the rain here.

Lauren (00:59.832)

Yeah.

Lauren (01:06.944)

I know we got all of our summers worth of rain today.

Ellyn (01:13.032)

Right, I looked at my rain gauge and we have over two inches already and Lauren picks on me because she says I'm old for having a rain gauge, but I think that's just good sense.

Lauren (01:13.518)

which is.

Lauren (01:22.57)

All good gardeners have a rain gauge, know, but I'm gonna wait until I'm at least in my 60s to get one.

Ellyn (01:29.899)

Well, how will you know how much rain you get between now and then? I just don't know how anyone could live without a rain gauge.

Lauren (01:31.022)

They don't even need to know!

Lauren (01:38.444)

I don't know. just, I don't know. I feel okay about it. So we also had our VBS this week, which is Vacation Bible School. And I don't know how much you guys know about VBS on a whole, but when we were kids, VBS was always during the day. It started in the morning and was usually done by lunchtime or maybe right after lunch. Anymore, it starts after dinner.

and your kids are up until like 10 o 'clock every night. It's brutal.

Ellyn (02:19.36)

And the difference is, of course, that a lot of mothers don't really stay home anymore, and mothers and fathers are the ones who make VBS happen. So I'm sure that the powers that be decided if they wanted help, they had to put VBS in the evening. And it's the same around here. I know that a church that we used to go to had theirs in the morning still.

Ellyn (02:48.051)

but it was murder trying to get help. It was mostly the stay at home moms and there just aren't a whole lot of us anymore.

Lauren (02:51.384)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (02:59.232)

And like as the mom, I, as the mom in this scenario, I think it's actually kind of nice to have the older generation that maybe doesn't have any kids at home anymore doing the lion's share of the VBS. So VBS for those that don't know, Vacation Bible School, is where the kids go to a church every day.

And they talk to him about Jesus and they give him a snack and they dance and sing songs. ours also had a game section and a science section. So they did experiments every night. I was like, Whoa, I've never seen that at VBS before. That was interesting.

Ellyn (03:38.321)

Play games.

Ellyn (03:44.71)

Mm

Ellyn (03:49.598)

And I think every church handles it a little bit differently. In our travels through life, we've actually done quite a number of VBSs at different churches. And everybody kind of has their own unique spin on it. One of the churches that we went to, decorated, and a lot of them decorate, but this was kind of over the top. They decorated the entire church and the kids.

Lauren (04:04.951)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (04:17.149)

The one year I remember in particular, the kids pretended they were the Israelites wandering through the desert and the entire church was decorated like a desert. And so they went to these different stations throughout the church. It was super fun. And they got to have a snack in one station and they got to hear their Bible lesson in another station and the games were in a third station. So it was really, really fun. And I, but I, that was the only church that did it quite like that. And some of the other churches are, you know, a little bit less, to quite that level. I think it really depends on how dedicated and how many helpers you have. You can pull off something really good if you have a lot of helpers, but it's harder if you just have a few people willing to really put in the time and.

Lauren (05:15.586)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (05:17.252)

artistic talents to such things.

Lauren (05:20.044)

Yep. I think a lot of churches buy a VBS kit these days. So it comes with the music and all the decorations and any costumes and the music I think is the big thing. most of the time it's prerecorded. Like when we were kids, we didn't even have a piano out there. just.

Ellyn (05:25.316)

Right, I think so too.

Ellyn (05:38.085)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (05:48.748)

had to figure it out. I'm not really sure how they figured out how to sing the songs. Or maybe we didn't even do like we didn't do a kit then. I really like it's all very fuzzy. But I know that they did it. Sorry, go ahead.

Ellyn (06:04.003)

It is. I was gonna say, our mother was the VBS leader for years and years when we were kids. So I'm slightly ashamed that we don't remember. She did a good job, but I don't remember what it was like. But it's fun. And the kids love it. And it's just a really good way to get them excited about learning about Jesus and learning about.

Lauren (06:10.828)

Right.

Ellyn (06:36.289)

especially I loved it when they did some of the Old Testament stuff because that really can be kind of dry for little kids and It's it's good for them to get that background knowledge and have an understanding of what happened in the Old Testament So I really enjoyed our years in VBS Today we took our youngest bowling because you know, obviously can't be outside since we're getting inches of rain. We're forecast for five inches of rain. I don't even know what that's going to look like. Anyway, it is a lot of rain. So we went bowling today because we didn't want to sit around and look out our windows. And it was my husband's idea. And it was so fun. It was the first time she had really been bowling. I think she went once when she was just too little to really understand. But this time when we went, she got it. And

Lauren (07:10.55)

That seems like a lot.

Ellyn (07:35.86)

It was a blast and we happened to meet some friends there that we didn't even know were going to be there, but they had the same idea as we did. You know, let's just get out of the rain and it was fun. We had a really good time.

Lauren (07:49.906)

And it inspired us for going bowling tonight.

Ellyn (07:53.887)

Are you really? That's so exciting.

Lauren (07:55.094)

Yeah, we had some I was just going through an old wallet the other day and I found two coupons for two people getting to bowl free and was like, well, we need to go bowling.

Ellyn (08:08.822)

What a fun time!

Lauren (08:12.682)

It is. at our local bowling alley, they do kids bowl free all summer. And I haven't, I haven't taken them yet this year. And I guess it's because I'm a terrible parent.

Ellyn (08:20.799)

really?

Ellyn (08:25.193)

So kids bowl free and you have two free bowling tickets. So you guys are going to get to go bowling for free tonight.

Lauren (08:30.326)

You bet. I think you have to still buy the shoes.

Ellyn (08:35.798)

but still, I will say this about bowling and that Jason did get us a deal. Also, he found where you can go for $5 per hour. So that was actually a pretty good deal because usually it's more expensive than that. But I remember when we were kids, bowling was like cheap fun. Games are a buck. Shoes are a buck. You know, you get out of the whole experience for five bucks and

Lauren (08:48.814)

Ooh, yeah, that's really nice.

Lauren (08:56.332)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (09:03.293)

anymore. is not a cheap thing to do. And I don't fault small businesses for having to charge more to keep up and be able to stay open. don't fault them at all for that. But it isn't cheap fun anymore. And it's too bad because I remember it fondly as something we did.

Lauren (09:05.122)

That is no number two.

Lauren (09:22.648)

To be fair, we no longer have to take score on a little scorecard either. Like things have upgraded since then.

Ellyn (09:29.92)

You know, you're not wrong. You are absolutely right about that. They do keep track of that for us. And so that that technology I'm sure is costly. So I can't. Yeah, I hadn't thought about it quite like that. You're right.

Lauren (09:44.754)

You remember what they used to do for the bumpers too? Like when you were really little kids, it was like this giant inflatable thing that they stuck into the bump, the gutter. And yeah.

Ellyn (09:49.693)

Yes.

Ellyn (09:58.198)

there was those. Maybe these were more recent where they had this big hook thing where they came around and like pulled the bumpers out of the gutter.

Lauren (10:08.526)

yeah. Yeah, I've seen that too. But now it's all electronic and they pop like, it's pretty amazing. If you haven't been bowling for, you know, 10 to 20 years, then now you can set it so that the bumpers only come up for one person in your party and are down for the rest. Yeah, it's pretty amazing.

Ellyn (10:14.133)

It's all automatic.

Ellyn (10:30.017)

which is really nice. And the place we went to today was it's all lighted. The bumpers are lighted. And the gutters are lighted. So as your ball goes down, the lights follow your ball down the lane. It was pretty cool. And there's all kinds of electronics in there. And Jason was actually saying that you can go at night.

Lauren (10:48.238)

Wow, that is exciting.

Ellyn (10:57.371)

And then they have all these LED lights, which really, I'm old. And that stuff has started to mess with my vision, know, big flashy lights and stuff. So I don't know that I would enjoy that, but I know my youngest would. So maybe we'll have to do that.

Lauren (11:11.597)

Yeah.

Yep. Good times at the bowling alley. That's, you know, that's where we're at in life. So on to the ballerina farm. if you haven't heard about this, this, the ballerina farm is a, they're a business primarily. They have a big farm and they have lots of animals and crops and they are very wealthy people. And they run the farm as like a way of life, a life choice, almost. And this reporter decided that she wanted to go out and interview them. And then she wrote an article about it. And the article was really bad.

Ellyn (12:12.094)

And a little bit more background before we move into the article. This is a family, of course, a husband and wife and their kids. The mom of the family used to be a ballerina and gave that up to be the mom in this family. And they have eight kids and they homeschool and they...

Lauren (12:16.087)

Yeah.

Lauren (12:26.445)

Hmm.

Ellyn (12:37.17)

They're a beautiful family. Their last name is Neelman. If you want to go look them up, they really are just really sweet looking people. And so this reporter from the Times.

Lauren (12:54.017)

London, I think.

The Times in London. She's British.

Ellyn (12:59.559)

Okay. All right. I believe you. She asked to visit them on their farm and so she came out and

Lauren (13:03.96)

I

Ellyn (13:15.589)

from what we can see.

Lauren (13:15.886)

She made it.

Ellyn (13:19.679)

It looks like she came out under the pretense of just writing about their family. And then the article comes out. She was, I'm sorry, she was really ugly. She ran down this woman's husband constantly and he was controlling and critical and just ugly. And she was

Lauren (13:28.878)

She wrote a hit piece.

Lauren (13:35.683)

Yeah.

Ellyn (13:47.503)

clearly offended by her children. And I don't know why. I don't know why you would visit someone with eight kids and then think that they're not going to be there.

Lauren (13:50.562)

Yeah. Like, why do they have to be around all the time? She said that like a couple of times. And things had a certain reason. And one of her kids was still nursing. So, I mean, any time that you're with a nursing mother, you have to expect that that baby's going to be with her all the time. That's the way life is for a nursing mother.

Ellyn (14:14.425)

Mm -hmm. And the way she said it, she took the baby near the time that the reporter got there, and then she held her for the next four hours as if that was wrong. It was just such an ugly article. 

Lauren (14:26.124)

Right.

Lauren (14:29.484)

It was clearly written by a person who hadn't ever had any kids or a family of her own. So it was written from a place of complete ignorance, but she didn't, she didn't say it like that. Well, I just don't know now the way that a sane person would do. Instead, she made it soundIt like it was wrong. Like the way that they did things was wrong. Like she shouldn't be holding her child, you know, a lot or with any of her other kids. And it actually kind of brings me back to the, the childless person who's like, well, when I have kids, I'm never gonna blah, blah, blah. And everyone does it. I think, I don't know. People who have sense don't do that.

Ellyn (15:23.82)

Well, I won't say I had a lot of sense. So, but I mean, I think that you're right. Everyone does think that they're going to be a different kind of parent than they were, than they, are. But the difference is this woman went and wrote an entire article about it. So now the whole world knows that she's dumb. Sorry. But.

Lauren (15:42.476)

Yeah. In public.

What a jerk she is. Sorry.

 She touched on several areas like in the very beginning of the article, I was like, okay, this isn't too bad. I mean, she said a couple of things that were a little off here and there. But then towards the end, there were a couple of things about the article in general that bothered me as far as the writing. She wrote it like she was writing a story rather than a like something that you were going to publish somewhere. It sounded like she was just typing it out on Facebook or you know, something like that. Just talking about herself and like a journal entry almost. And it wasn’t very factually like there weren't any real facts in it. Like I said, it sounded like she was writing a story and, and I didn't, I don't know. I just don't go for that kind of writing as much. I like facts. They're actually kind of my favorite.

Ellyn (16:58.02)

It was a story written about somebody she didn't like. It was a mean girl story, really.

Lauren (17:02.551)

Exactly.

It was, it wasn't just someone she didn't like, it was someone she didn't know. You can't sit down with someone for four hours and think, well, now I know everything about that person and this person did. And, you know, I just, yeah. Yeah.

Ellyn (17:20.668)

Right. And she was disdainful of her entire life and her... just everything about her disgusted this reporter. So this really got us thinking about the whole trad wife. And I know we've touched on this once before. And I think what we did before was like the fake trad wife where you stay home and wear a frilly fifties dress for your husband don't have kids. That was the trad wife we were talking about before, but now we're talking about real traditional lives. You know, the ones who wear their sweatpants and work in the garden. Okay. This is where we are. Fine. Okay. Yoga. Capris in the summer. Anyway, so we're talking, we've kind of gotten away from that.

Lauren (18:02.39)

Right, not sweatpants, yoga pants.

Ellyn (18:18.792)

last version of the trad wife more toward a traditional family. In what that looks like in what this whole article felt like was an attack on traditional families. And by traditional families, it's, know, parents who are married and have kids together and maybe one parent stays home some or all of the time and takes care of the kids and the house and does that traditional way of living, which, you know, Lauren and I have both done pretty much since we had kids. So it really felt like an attack on our way of life. So it got us thinking about why, why is the family under attack? So that's what we're going to talk

Lauren (19:11.23)

That's the main topic. We're not just going to rag on this author for another 20 minutes, but I think I could come up with enough content to make that happen. Yeah. Cause she, kind of made me mad, but yeah.

Ellyn (19:19.588)

could. yeah. We could do that. But that would be pointless. So why is the family under attack? Why don't we look at a traditional family or traditional wife and think that's nice? What happened in society to make that happen? Go ahead, Lauren.

Lauren (19:42.21)

I think this, I think I'll take it away. Take it away, Lauren. Anyway, I think this started with the first wave feminism. Am I right? The first wave was basically giving women the option to have a job and to not get married. And you know what? I'm all for that. I don't think it's a bad thing. I worked for

Ellyn (19:45.721)

Ha ha!

Lauren (20:09.902)

10 years after I got married full time. And I, like I said, I don't see anything wrong with it. And I fully intend to go back to work once my kids are a little older. I'm probably not going to wait until they move out. But I don't see why that's such a bad thing. And looking around in society,

at people my age who have taken the girl boss route instead of getting married and having a family and they're not happy. And I get to see people's lives play out on Facebook because that's the way they want it. They let things play out on Facebook.

Ellyn (20:51.908)

Mm

Lauren (21:02.176)

And even with the pictures of them, you know, like going on vacation by themselves, I, it's not even hard to see that it's not making them happy. And, and that's what we really, what I feel like we need to examine as a society. We've pushed women into, we've pushed women from being able to make the choice. Okay. I'd rather stay home or I'd rather work to if you don't work, then you're lame and a loser and not taking advantage of all that society has to offer when really I just don't want anything to do with society. I don't really like you people that much.

Ellyn (21:38.304)

Mm

Ellyn (21:48.142)

I live in my little house with my little kids and enjoy that, my garden. And I agree, you know, I have my older daughter is about to be an adult and not too terrible long. I just try not to think about it too much. And I want for her what I had. You know, I got to get out into the world. I got to have an adventure. I got to realize that that was right for that season, but it wasn't what I wanted to do with my whole life. And I want that for her to be able to make that choice for herself. So I don't think that women, unless they want to, should necessarily get married right out of high school and start having babies and stuff. But that's not wrong if that is what they want.

Lauren (22:42.712)

Right, right.

Ellyn (22:45.401)

and it isn't wrong if they want to go and do something else with their lives for a while first.

But it's when society says to the 23, 24, 25, 26 year old woman, well, you can't possibly, you would be wasting your life if you went home.

Lauren (23:04.067)

Yeah.

Ellyn (23:10.086)

In my mind, that isn't the right way to treat women in a society. Women should have the choice to do that and not feel shame. When I finished my degree and I decided that next year that I wanted to bring my kids home and we, I mean, I didn't make the decision by myself. It was my husband and I. When we decided to bring our kids home and homeschool them, I got flack from people who knew that I had finished my degree.

Lauren (23:18.734)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (23:40.083)

Well, aren't you going to go to work? No, I'm actually going to use my degree where it matters most, at home. I got my degree ineducation. I got a degree, not so much to teach other people's kids, but to teach my own. And I do have the benefit. And so does Lauren of having been a veteran. 

Lauren (23:47.608)

with my own kids.

Ellyn (24:08.862)

I didn't come out with a bunch of student loans where I felt obligated to go and earn money to pay those back. you know, we do have some veterans benefits that paid for college for us. And so that was certainly an advantage.But from other women, I heard people say, well, I can't believe you're not going to go get a job. You just finished all that work.  I don't know, it felt so ugly.

Lauren (24:44.334)

It does. Like, why are we being pushed in that direction instead of saying, okay, yeah, that's going to be great for you. It's not like you started doing crack, you know, and spending 20 hours away from your fam, like that no intervention was necessary here. I know, but people feel like intervention is necessary. Like.

Ellyn (25:06.149)

Right. I can make this decision myself.

Ellyn (25:13.767)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (25:14.188)

really, you're just gonna stay home and not do anything? And I remember, I know, I know. I remember several years ago after I had my first and I actually, think she was two and my son was one and I heard through the grapevine my aunt asking a question. What does she do all day? That's what they said. What is she? So she's just going to stay home? What does she do all day? That was a question. And I was like, I'm too tired to answer this.

Ellyn (25:53.629)

Hmm

Ellyn (26:05.146)

I barely keep my head above water.

Lauren (26:10.51)

I enjoy being with my children and hand making all of their food instead of sending them off with a fruit roll up and a, what are those things called that come in little package with the circles of meat and cheese and crackers? Lunchable. Fruit roll up in a lunchable. Thank you.

Ellyn (26:28.091)

Lunchables.

some goldfish there you go you're set for the day.

Lauren (26:37.174)

That's what I do with my time lady. What does she do all day? It was just, it was actually one of those questions that the husband in memes always asks right before he's killed. What have you been doing all day? The house is a mess and you haven't made dinner.

Ellyn (26:40.592)

Mmm!

Ellyn (26:56.982)

and then he died.

Funny.

Lauren (27:02.102)

I've been maintaining my sanity until now!

Lauren (27:11.374)

But back to the joy of motherhood. It really is a joy. I wouldn't want to send them off to be the teacher that gets to enjoy their fun. that's the other thing. I personally, and I know lots of teachers do, but I personally, don't enjoy other people's children the way I enjoy my own. I don't think they’re as funny and I don't really want to be with them. Like, I don't know, maybe I'm just not a kid person. But my kids are hilarious. And they are fun to be around and they dance and they're a little bit noisy. But most of the time, it's okay. I

Ellyn (27:56.483)

Little.

And I think that most parents feel that way.

Lauren (28:03.808)

Yeah, most teachers feel that way. Like they don't appreciate your kids the way that you do.

Ellyn (28:11.931)

I want to give the best to my own family. And if I am out working all day long, my best is at work because by the time I get home, I'm tired. And I, like I've said in previous episodes, I have gone back to work, in a very limited amount. So at most I will work six hours once a week, once or twice a week. So not very much at all. But when I come home from that, I'm tired. So my kids are not getting my best on those days. Now, my husband is here and he's giving his best because he's not working on the days that I am. But I can't imagine working a 40 -hour week and then still be, you know, trying to give my best to my family because I couldn't do it. There's no way I could do it.

Lauren (29:10.732)

Yep. Agreed. And I, mean, when I worked, I felt exactly the same. I don't work right now. For some reason, I can't seem to find the time to do much. But I have, when my kids were smaller, I worked sometimes on weekends and weekdays too, depending. And I feel like every person, everyone wakes up with so much do.

Ellyn (29:21.562)

You're very busy.

Lauren (29:40.526)

every day. There's, there's this many hours of useful activity that are allotted to you. And maybe that's 12, but that's still not all day. Okay. All day lasts longer than that. So I like to use my hours of activity on my kids. And I certainly, I don't object.

to, I don't object to women not doing that. If you decide that that's not the life for you and you want to have a job, then okay, you you go on ahead and do that. So why do women who, who do things differently than I do object to my way of living? I find it, and then write articles, nasty articles about it. It's like,

You know what? Go back to wherever it is that you came from and leave me alone.

Ellyn (30:39.8)

Right. don't, I mean, for me personally, I wouldn't want to have a 40 hour week, but I actually give a lot of credit to women who can manage that. And, you know, there are societal things that sometimes dictate your being able to stay home with your kids. You know, sometimes in some areas, money, you have to have more money to live. I'm glad I don't live in one of those areas.  But I don't hold against any woman who wants to work or even needs to work some. So I've always, but I've always felt the pressure from women, especially, that think that I shouldn't do what I'm doing. And I don't know, it's not really a fair thing, I think. I, if I'm choosing to live the way I want to live, what does that matter to other people? But I do feel that pressure.

Lauren (31:47.148)

Yeah. I think that they feel like it's letting down feminism or like women's rights or whatever for women to choose to live the old way before people fought for our rights. And I won't deny people did. Our rights had to be fought for. And now I can vote. And I'm glad now I can go get a job if I want to. And I'm glad. and the things that I have now, I'm glad to have them, but I don't feel like there's something that I don't have that I need still. Does that make any sense?

Ellyn (32:32.499)

I don't feel the obligation to do it just because it is my right to do it. And someday I will. Just like you said, there will come a time, but the time with your kids is so short. I'm finding that out now as my kids have started to grow up. Really? They were just babies. And they'll be gone soon.

Lauren (32:39.264)

Right.

Lauren (32:47.287)

It is.

Lauren (32:54.178)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (33:01.445)

I look back on that and I wouldn't trade it for anything because there are only a few years and you have the rest of your life to work. And I'm choosing to spend these few years with them rather than.

Lauren (33:09.42)

Yep, you do.

Ellyn (33:16.73)

with other people's kids, which is what I would have been doing. I like other people's kids, but I like mine the best and that's where I'm going to spend my time. And I also feel like for our family that

Lauren (33:19.594)

Right, exactly.

Ellyn (33:31.684)

Jason appreciates it, that he didn't have to worry or he didn't really have to worry. He didn't have to think about, well, is everything okay at home or is everything okay at daycare? Or is everybody doing all right? And he didn't have to deal with any of that through our kids whole growing up. And I think that was the load off his mind not to have to think about it. It did put more stress on him financially because he had to provide for us, but

Lauren (33:36.749)

Yeah.

Lauren (33:45.496)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (34:01.924)

as not having to think about whether or not the kids were okay, because he knew that they were with me all the time. All the time.

Lauren (34:10.818)

Yep. yeah. Every single moment. I was always there. But yeah, I definitely with our marriage, it was a little bit different. Steve, he didn't think it was wrong for me to want to stay home, but he also grew up in a little bit different of environment. His mother worked full time as a teacher and she was really good at it. So for him, it was different doing it this way. It was something that he hadn't experienced and no one in his family was a stay at home mom, which is actually for their day was not normal. There should have been at least one, but there were none, not a single woman in that family stayed home with the kids. So for him, it was a little bit of a departure from the norm or whatever of society. And I didn't have to talk him into it, but he had to get used to it.

Ellyn (35:18.032)

Mm

Lauren (35:27.02)

He had to get used to the idea that I wasn't going to go back to work.

Ellyn (35:31.685)

Yeah.

Lauren (35:33.738)

And he was, he's also been very supportive. he, whenever I doubt, whenever I'm like, what am I even doing here? He's like, you're doing this and this and this and this and this and this. And the list just goes on and I'm like, okay, I feel good now. Thanks.

Ellyn (35:52.656)

Thanks for that. Yeah, and I think for Jason, it was a little bit more natural because for most of the time that he was growing up, he's the oldest. And so I think his siblings, his mom went back to work like while they still lived at home. But for him being the oldest, pretty sure she was home the pretty much the entire time he was growing up. So it wasn't a hard jump or a hard leap for him to imagine that I would want to stay home. And he also has always been very supportive of this. And I don't know, now we're starting over. So who knows? Who knows how long I'll be home now?

Lauren (36:38.83)

Kind of. Yeah, exactly. Things might be a little bit different this time, and that's okay.

Ellyn (36:45.858)

That's right.

Lauren (36:48.044)

But basically what I objected to about it was besides just the kind of slimy way that she went about writing the article, like she didn't go there saying, Hey, I'm going to write a hit piece on you. She made it sound like she was writing something nice about their farm and their way of life. And instead she went and just, just was horrible.

Ellyn (37:19.159)

I imagine if they had known the kind of article she was going to write, that they probably would never have let her come. So she must have lied to get in the door or must have been less than forthcoming with how the article was going to go when she got to their house. Because I can't imagine that they would have allowed her in, had they known.

Lauren (37:25.91)

I know they would have been like, no, you can just stay home. Yeah.

Lauren (37:38.348)

Yeah.

Ellyn (37:47.233)

And these people are somewhat famous. are social media famous, at least, but they are, like Lauren was saying, they're very successful businessmen. They're, they call themselves partners. 

Lauren (38:08.161)

I wouldn't even really call them a trad wife, you know, kind of family. She makes a lot of stuff from scratch and she makes videos on it. But I wouldn't really call that any different than like a television star baking something on like it's no different except for that. She always has a kid in her arms. They don't usually do that on TV, but I

Ellyn (38:26.255)

Mm -hmm.

Lauren (38:36.322)

Like, she makes videos for money. I don't know if that's really all that traditional. 

Ellyn (38:43.253)

And I think that she has monetized her traditional life. So I think she still lives that life, but she has figured out a way to monetize it and more power to her. I don't condemn that at all. I think if you can figure out how to make a living or while still hanging out with your kids, that's amazing.

Lauren (38:47.542)

Yeah. Yeah.

Lauren (38:53.11)

Yeah, definitely does.

Lauren (39:09.1)

 yep, totally. It's great. But I wouldn't say that she's like even she in her response, she's like, I wouldn't really identify with the trad wife lifestyle or whatever she I guess, because a lot of people see trad wives as some subservient thing to their husband. And I don't really see that either. In my personal life. I think we, we make our, we talk about things. If there's a big amount of money to be spent on something, we talk to each other about it. I don't think that that's like necessarily old timey way of behaving. It's just a good way of behaving. If you want to have a happy marriage, you shouldn't buy stuff that's really expensive behind your husband's back. There, that's my bit of advice for today.

Ellyn (39:56.491)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (40:03.368)

And vice versa. And it's good, good advice too. And I think that is part of a lot of people's problem with the trad wife. They don't see it as just a woman who stays home and takes care of the kids. The trad wife has kind of a negative connotation to it. That, well, she must do everything her husband says and her kids are probably perfect.

Lauren (40:10.541)

It is.

Ellyn (40:33.0)

all this because she's always making them do right and everything, which I mean, I don't identify with most of that myself. My kids are far from perfect.

Lauren (40:42.187)

Yep. It was almost more for me than them. Like I just didn't want to miss out on their stuff. I didn't want to miss first words, first steps. I, I, I can't imagine them having those things at a daycare instead of in my presence. And I, I just didn't want to give that stuff up. And there's so many things like that.

Ellyn (40:56.041)

Mm

Ellyn (41:05.406)

Mm hmm. Right.

Lauren (41:15.212)

so many firsts that you're going to miss if you're not there and I didn't want to. So that's why I stayed home.

Ellyn (41:22.641)

Mm hmm. I remember when I watched a little boy for a friend of mine for a school year. She was a teacher and he actually did have his first steps at my house and I didn't tell her because I didn't I didn't want to take that from her. I wanted her to have the first steps. So I just didn't. And she's not a listener, at least not yet. And if she ever

Lauren (41:43.309)

Mm -hmm.

Ellyn (41:52.508)

does listen. Sorry, but I didn't tell her.

Lauren (41:55.79)

Sorry, but that was actually at my house. Sorry you missed it.

How many kids have you babysat for? Like nine, right?

Ellyn (42:05.66)

Yes, at least.

Lauren (42:07.394)

Yep, it's been a lot.

Lauren (44:05.294)

All right, guys, that's about all we have to say about that today. I think we just about covered how annoyed we were by that article. Thanks so much for listening today, guys. If you want to review the show notes or the transcript, you can check out our website, WebstyleHustle .com.

Until next time.