The Kandid Shop

The Business of Pleasure: A Kandid Chat on Legalized Sex Work w/Madam Bella Cummins

May 21, 2024 The Kandid Shop Podcast LLC Season 4 Episode 105
The Business of Pleasure: A Kandid Chat on Legalized Sex Work w/Madam Bella Cummins
The Kandid Shop
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The Kandid Shop
The Business of Pleasure: A Kandid Chat on Legalized Sex Work w/Madam Bella Cummins
May 21, 2024 Season 4 Episode 105
The Kandid Shop Podcast LLC

Shoot Me A Message!

!!Content Warning!!
 This episode contains discussions about legal sex work and is for the purpose of supporting legal sex workers' rights, work health, safety, and well-being. If this content offends you, please don't listen further. Thank you and enjoy the show.

Join the conversation as I sit down with the insightful Madame Bella Cummins, Owner of Bella's Hacienda Ranch and Founder of the Onesta Foundation, to unravel the intricate tapestry of legal sex work in Nevada. Discover how Bella's personal journey and unwavering advocacy for sex workers' rights have forged a trail of empowerment and safety in an industry often shrouded in misconception. Our chat illuminates the benefits that regulated sex work offers to both the courtesans and their communities, from health and well-being to economic stability and public safety.

Imagine a world where sex workers harness the freedom to choose, build entrepreneurial skills, and craft their futures with precision and care. This episode transports you to the heart of Bella's Hacienda Ranch, where women are mentored to embrace financial wisdom, fostering a culture of independence akin to running their own salon stations. Bella's passionate discourse on the Onesta Foundation's mission to support women in achieving financial independence and prosperous career transitions paints a portrait of hope and ambition, pushing the boundaries of a judgment-free society.

We wrap up with a reflective dive into the human experience, sharing life lessons that transcend industry lines. We uncover the importance of authenticity, the transformative power of forgiveness, and the emotional clarity found in a simple phone call. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain of the sex work industry; it's an exploration of deeper connections and the universal yearning for understanding and unconditional love.
Tune in to tap into the power of open dialogue and join us as we champion a more kandid, compassionate world.

Connect with Bella:
http://www.bellas.us
https://onestafoundation.org/

Support the Show.

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338

Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Shoot Me A Message!

!!Content Warning!!
 This episode contains discussions about legal sex work and is for the purpose of supporting legal sex workers' rights, work health, safety, and well-being. If this content offends you, please don't listen further. Thank you and enjoy the show.

Join the conversation as I sit down with the insightful Madame Bella Cummins, Owner of Bella's Hacienda Ranch and Founder of the Onesta Foundation, to unravel the intricate tapestry of legal sex work in Nevada. Discover how Bella's personal journey and unwavering advocacy for sex workers' rights have forged a trail of empowerment and safety in an industry often shrouded in misconception. Our chat illuminates the benefits that regulated sex work offers to both the courtesans and their communities, from health and well-being to economic stability and public safety.

Imagine a world where sex workers harness the freedom to choose, build entrepreneurial skills, and craft their futures with precision and care. This episode transports you to the heart of Bella's Hacienda Ranch, where women are mentored to embrace financial wisdom, fostering a culture of independence akin to running their own salon stations. Bella's passionate discourse on the Onesta Foundation's mission to support women in achieving financial independence and prosperous career transitions paints a portrait of hope and ambition, pushing the boundaries of a judgment-free society.

We wrap up with a reflective dive into the human experience, sharing life lessons that transcend industry lines. We uncover the importance of authenticity, the transformative power of forgiveness, and the emotional clarity found in a simple phone call. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain of the sex work industry; it's an exploration of deeper connections and the universal yearning for understanding and unconditional love.
Tune in to tap into the power of open dialogue and join us as we champion a more kandid, compassionate world.

Connect with Bella:
http://www.bellas.us
https://onestafoundation.org/

Support the Show.

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338

Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

!!Content Warning!!
 This episode contains discussions about legal sex work and is for the purpose of supporting legal sex workers' rights, work health, safety, and well-being. If this content offends you, please don't listen further. Thank you and enjoy the show.

Kandidly Kristin: Hola, Podcast Nation. It's your girl, Kandidly Kristin, and this is The Kandid Shop. Your number one destination for kandid conversations. If you're new here, welcome to the show. If you're a regular listener, welcome back and thanks so much for your support. So today I am sitting down for a candid chat on legal sex work with Madame Bella Cummins, owner of Bella's Hacienda Ranch and founder of the Onesta Foundation. Welcome, welcome, welcome Bella to the Kandid Shop.

BELLA CUMMINS: Hi, Kristin. I'm really happy to be here.

Kandidly Kristin: I am so happy to have you. This is a chat I've been trying to have for probably a year. So I'm super duper excited now. Sex work has been called the oldest profession, but it still carries a lot of stigma and judgment. So I really wanted to have this discussion to maybe enlighten some and inform others.

BELLA CUMMINS: I would like for your audience to just Just allow the information without judgment. And always remember that people should do whatever they'd like to do, as long as it harms no one else. And we don't have to approve or disapprove of someone's profession.

Kandidly Kristin: Agreed. So before we get into the meat of the conversation, can you just briefly tell me and my listeners who you are and what inspired you to open Bella's Hacienda Ranch?

BELLA CUMMINS: Well, I'm Madam Bella Cummins, and I am the longest serving living madam in the United States and maybe the world. I actually purchased what was then called the Hacienda with my very late husband. And really and truly, I didn't realize what I was stepping on board to learn and eventually lead and speak out about. However, 38 years of being a mentor and an empowerment scenario for women that are choosing to be in a misunderstood career is apparently something I'm strong enough to do. And so I am still doing it.

Kandidly Kristin: Good. Now, Nevada currently is the only state in the U.S. where sex work is legal and regulated, correct?

BELLA CUMMINS: Yes, it is the only state where it's regulated and legalized in locations. It has to be a legal brothel and they're all located in rural Nevada. The big cities where it's unregulated, they have no districts that allow for women to really work legally and license as courtesans. That's what I would call them.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay, okay. Now, in the areas of Nevada, like where your ranch is, where it is regulated and legal, what does that mean for you and the ladies that work with you for you, like to protect their rights and their safety?

BELLA CUMMINS: When the ladies work with me, I always say they work with me because they have the same credentials I have, meaning business licenses, things like that, that are paid, we have to pay the state for those. The only difference is my business licenses cost more money, but they look exactly the same, which makes them independent legal entrepreneur contractors.

Kandidly Kristin: Okay. And so when Nevada made this decision to make it legal in brothels and to regulate it, I guess, what does that offer them in terms of, you know, protection, rights, safety, all those kinds of things?

BELLA CUMMINS: And that was really the second half of your question. When the legislature in 1971 made a Nevada revised statute section that dealt with legal prostitution. They gave the vote to the people of the counties. If they wanted to have brothels, then they had to vote that they wanted them and then how many in each county. But then there was a little smaller part of that that went to incorporated cities within a county. And then those cities could make their own rules and regulations in alignment with the Nevada revised statutes and determine how many brothels would be in that city. Okay. What that did was offer the ladies a location to be legal workers and have medical testing. It gave them a place that was decriminalized as far as sexual activities went for both the buyer and the seller. It also gave clients that same public safety type of thing where people came in and they knew that as long as they were within that building, everyone was safe. No honey was going to come to anyone. And so obviously that brought about some things that the town wanted, which was public safety for the town and taxation, licensing fees would generate revenue. But in all honesty, that's what businesses are about. They are about being an asset to a community. Yeah. All right. And that means money. That means public safety. That means in these rural areas, we have no sex crimes. Right. There's there's places for people to go. And that, you know, every. I'm going to say group of brothels that are located in different areas in the state of Nevada, they have a different demographic of of clients that they're going to attract. You know, there's some in the South. Well, they're going to be, you know, let's say, attract some people from Las Vegas that are visiting California, Arizona, New Mexico. So they're down there in that South. get up in the Northwest, in that Reno area. They're going to attract people coming to visit Reno or that other part of California over at Dulles Hacienda Ranch. Our demographic is the crossroads of the Western United States, which everybody goes through, and the two most sexually repressed states, which is Utah and Idaho. So that's our demographic, those people can come and safely experience being human without judgment, without anyone in their community wondering what they're doing.

Kandidly Kristin: Gotcha, gotcha. Huh, that was interesting. Two of the most sexually repressed states. And I was thinking, what's she going to say? When you said Utah, I was like, yep, yep, yep. Oh my gosh. So you spoke a little bit earlier about misconceptions and myth stereotypes about sex work and the industry as a whole. How do you, when you encounter them in any form online or in conversations with other people, how do you kind of address them to people?

BELLA CUMMINS: It's very interesting because many judgmental people, if I get them one-on-one, they don't really come across as so judgmental. They come across as wanting information, but it's difficult to have it penetrate because they have a cloak of judgment that thinks that it's wrong to have God-given hormones that make us want to be with one another. And I think the very best way to talk to courtesans about it, about a career that very few can do, I know it's less than 1% in the world that can do it, have a calling, and really do it well, where they're actually They're more of a therapist, but they're therapists in this very human way. And most of us have never had this great first sexual experience. And so there's sort of baggage that goes along with it. But these beautiful ladies never need to go out and tell people what they do. It can be a very private thing in their life because they're actually giving part of themselves to help someone else heal or merely have an experience and they're on their way. But it's done without manipulation, without harm to someone else. And, you know, I understand that there's religious beliefs and things that get in people's way that is out of alignment with what I really believe we're here to experience. And that is our sensual, sexual sides of ourselves that when repressed, create unbelievable, violent at times scenarios.

Kandidly Kristin: Yes. Yes. And suffering and it's unnecessary. I mean, we're sexual creatures and not just to procreate. You know, that's not the only reason why people have sex. So talk to me a little bit about your clientele, not their demographic, but more their motivations to come into the ranch. And I know they're very varied and individual to each person, but I guess what I'm trying to get, not all sex work is about sex.

BELLA CUMMINS: Absolutely, you are correct. Sex work has changed since the pandemic. Locking, separating people, holding them apart, brought something besides just the physical. There was the emotional, the mental, and I like to say the spiritual part, because we still are energy. And that holding people apart created anxiety in a way and a frustration of the need to be together. And I see in more individuals that they, more time is spent talking, laughing, being heard, where it's, It's really an important part now of our interacting because then if you throw in things like, my God, how in the world can a person leave the house without their cell phone? And then they got so used to that that they lost the ability to interact with one another. And it's as if some of that is shifting where these young people, let's say 19 to 24, over half of them are still virgins. Everything's on this device sitting in their hand. Yeah. Okay. And then when you take, you know, like, uh, 26 to two, I think it's 30 ish. There's still a percentile that are still virgins. And I know in my heart that that gets into another metal situation where, how, how do they feel? Do they need a counselor? Do they need a lady that's going to show them the way and, and have no judgment. and sort of ease them into the experience that they're finally ready to have without somebody talking about it in town because it happened with this individual and well, this one's going to tell this one and off it goes into this situation that becomes incredibly embarrassing.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, because let's face it, it's losing your virginity is, you know, really not the flowers and hearts and all that, that for most people, their experience is not that great. It's like, ugh. And then once you get past 20 or 25, then it's like, Jesus, I'm still a virgin. Now you feel all this pressure to at least have the experience. And I think that having somewhere to go where you know you're safe, that your privacy is protected, your autonomy is protected. And as you make that choice, then you get to kind of do it your way. You know what I mean?

BELLA CUMMINS: Absolutely. And many of them want to learn how to be sensual in their experience when they do find that person that they're really wanting to be with. And there's just so many people that get out there and they watch all this porn and it's not, they think, oh my God, we're just going to choke her and do it. That's not good.

Kandidly Kristin: I'm sorry. Oh my God, I'm sorry.

BELLA CUMMINS: But you know, it is out there. And so some of the online stuff is very unrealistic in the sensual, sexual part of us.

Kandidly Kristin: OK. And it's it's they're making a movie. I tell people, think about porn like that. There are a bunch of people on the set of this shot that you're that you're looking at that looks so natural and flowing. They probably called cut three times and repositioned. And it's not very intimate.

BELLA CUMMINS: So no, no, that's a whole other conversation. But that's the sensuality part. And what they're showing usually has more to do with. Like an out of control erotica or a little bit more without using BDSM tools that it looks more forceful, it looks like someone is being taken advantage of. That is never part of the clients that visit Bella's Hacienda Ranch. Of course, they come from all walks of life. Sometimes they're just young and they want to know. Other times, people really don't have time for a relationship. It's their career or it's all those things that keep them from having the time. And then you have another group that no got really tired of splitting their possessions over the possibility of sex And then the fourth group are are people typically men that are a little older And their wife either isn't interested or she's ill He loves her yeah, but His psychologist is saying, look, you're still alive. Go to Bella's, do something safely. Even if you have no sex, go talk to somebody, be with somebody, cuddle. And he's still gonna go home. It's never about breaking people up, pulling them apart. It's about the desire. And all those types of areas, I understand. I would never judge that, but all these years have led me to understand on a grand scale, probably a sampling of our humanness and how need repressed can be incredibly devastating no matter what age.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah, yeah, that's so important. Like those four groups, that was a really important point to make, especially the older people or the married people who have spouses who for whatever reason aren't interested or they have an illness that prevents them from physically being able to. Because I think in general, society's vision of sex work or prostitution or whatever you want to call it is, they're just homewreckers and they're, you know, They're coming in between a dismarriage and these kinds of things, more misconceptions, misinformation. And I think some people just like holding on to that. And because to, to even let a little bit more truth in about this topic would be to, you know, negate something they believed for years and years and years have been told for years and years and years. So. De-stigmatizing it, this is really important.

BELLA CUMMINS: Someone, someone long, long ago helped all of us make an agreement that somehow or another the things that we were feeling inside from a hormone level were wrong. We needed to suppress those. Well, the fact is it's time to make a new agreement. The new agreement should be a different understanding of how to be human correctly.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah. Because honestly, the old agreement didn't work. The suppression and repression, it exploded in very violent and ugly ways. That's what stuff that's repressed does. So definitely need a new agreement.

BELLA CUMMINS: Yes, we do but we don't we never need to manipulate another and see that never happens inside a brothel It's two people Discussing what they would like to experience. They will probably never see each other again But it's a it. I always say it's a healing Because they were able to do something that would be impossible to do outside of a brothel Because it's all in this environment that's safe for everybody where you can talk about it out loud. You don't have to do it in sign language and some secret language about what you want to do and what it might cost. And you don't have to look over your shoulder because you're totally safe.

Kandidly Kristin: I agree. I agree wholeheartedly. So I want to talk a little bit about the why and the mission of the Onesta Foundation and how it kind of comes alongside your Hacienda rent.

BELLA CUMMINS: Oh, the Onesta Foundation was formed during a time when a legal. No, I'm sorry, where Legal counsel represented a religious group. That thought that they needed to have brothels and 2 counties. Close no longer exist if you will. And there you go. That is the biggest part of judgment, because we're going to tell you, because of our beliefs, that what you're doing is incorrect. And I always have said, there's something bigger than us that better be doing the judging, because we are not, we are, we've never been qualified to do that. We can barely stay out of our own way. What do you mean, make up our minds for somebody else? So this, I created the Onesta to give support to the houses. Petitions were circulated. It actually went to a vote in front of the people in Lyon County, and the people said, we want them, no way. Down in Nye County, it didn't make it that far, but it never happened. No businesses were closed for even a moment. But this man and another lady is kind of at it again. But it isn't going to go anywhere because when women come in to a legal brothel, she has a criteria that she gets to meet in order to be a legal licensed businesswoman. I would like to say entrepreneurial. And in medical clearances and state business licenses and work cards that include FBI fingerprinting checks, it is virtually impossible for someone to be there against their will. And so these beautiful ladies wind, you know, are in these houses by choice so that they can make their money without the threat of arrest, criminal prosecution, harm, you know, being hurt physically, having to kind of protect themselves against the police because it's obvious who they are. So the idea is it gives them a way to do what they want to do and still be a business and an asset to a community and asset to themselves without, you know, fear. And truly, the medical is a weekly thing, you know, where blood is taken once a month and then every week of the month is a culture. So, you know, the health issues and safety are adhered to stringently. Once again, That's good for everyone. Condoms have come a long way. I was actually at Bella's in the 80s when it was legal to have sex without a condom. But we didn't have disease. We didn't have those things that the clients that frequented Bella's, they knew they were clean and they wanted to stay clean. But as I said, condoms are mandatory. And so everything is about safety all the way around.

Kandidly Kristin: Right, for everybody. Yeah. So Bella, do you ever see a time when this is not just Nevada, but in every state? Can you ever see us getting there?

BELLA CUMMINS: Here's what I can see as far as other legal locations. Nevada's model has worked in only rural areas because the big cities want to do their own thing. So we all know what that is because Las Vegas is number two in trafficking in the country. And so we prove that all the rest of us show that it works and that it gives people a destination. So in my quest, my mission, my vision as the longest serving madam, I want politicians to be pro-business, pro-taxation, pro-public safety, instead of labeling it sex work. It's the largest unregulated, non-taxed industry around the world. Why not give it a chance to have locations in other states? Do it the same way. Let these smaller communities be a location so that they can bring this revenue into their community. They can keep their communities more free, if not totally free of sex crimes. and be an asset to moving our time on this earth forward.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah. Yeah. Because there are a lot of rural places in many states that could benefit from the revenue.

BELLA CUMMINS: That are on crossroads.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah, yeah.

BELLA CUMMINS: People are going to be traveling, passing by, you know, in most states that have like areas that are like big travel plazas, truck stops, if you will. And it's it's absolutely like a haven for illegal activity. And when you hear, you know, these long haul drivers talk about it, it's like they hate it. You know, people banging on the side of their truck and stuff. And Wells has five travel plaza. And we have no illegal activity. See, that's just one. It's just one benefit right there. If you've got this big 5,000 acre travel plaza, put a brothel. Maybe you won't have that situation.

Kandidly Kristin: you know, had that situation and the ladies that were banging on sides of trucks have somewhere safe to go. Absolutely. To work and the town, wherever it's located, gets revenue. It's just, it really is a win-win. And the people who travel through there, whether they're truck drivers or coming from other communities, have somewhere safe to go where they can be their authentic self without judgment.

BELLA CUMMINS: Correct.

Kandidly Kristin: It's a win-win.

BELLA CUMMINS: The ones that aren't looking for that, they just don't leave their truck. The ones that are, they've got a place to go.

Kandidly Kristin: Listen, it's not like somebody is going to be standing outside with tassels on their nipples with a big sign. The people that want to go there are going to know it's there. You don't have to have flashy neon signs and all that kind of stuff. It's just there. And if you want what's there, then you go there. And if you don't, you go in a diner and eat and go on about your merry way.

BELLA CUMMINS: And without judging who does go through the door.

Kandidly Kristin: Exactly. Exactly. Because people are still going to be concerned about that. You know what I mean? No matter what, they're going to be like, oh, somebody sees me coming in here. But here's the thing. Once you're inside, you're safe. You're safe, period. Coming up to it and going inside. So that's the biggest part of the destigmatizing prostitution, sex work, whatever term you want to use, is that people don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed to go to a brothel.

BELLA CUMMINS: Correct. And, you know, I'm a few years older than maybe some of your audience. But. Back in the 60s and the 70s and part of the 80s, it was this crazy one night stand thing where people people. If we were going to spread disease, that would have been a great opportunity, but there wasn't any really to spread. So but but some of these ladies, many of them. And today's. brothel timeline are different from us. They look at their sexuality and their sensuality differently from how we did. And they're not upset about it. To them, it's like, this is something that they're going to do until maybe they reach a financial goal or they put a time limit on it. And I feel like they should. because there's always something else they're supposed to do. It's a short career designed for people basically in their 20s and 30s. And then from there, there's always something else.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Interesting. So Bella, Tell me what you think is the most important aspect of what you do and what the ladies do that the general public as a whole should understand and or appreciate.

BELLA CUMMINS: The general public has made so many assumptions about things being maybe this wild, crazy, people aren't wearing clothes or swinging from their chandeliers. And I'm going to share with your listeners, these women wear more clothes than your high school student. Say that again. they have on more clothes than that than the children you see walking through stores that you know where their clothes are barely hanging off their body or these women are are classy they've got nice dresses or or they're very elegant and they there's a class act to them instead of it looking like some of these kids think that that's sexy, but in a way it looks more like they should be on the blade. And their knees hanging out of their pants and everything's half ripped off. And then you get women that are definitely adults and they're doing the same thing. They got clothes that have more shredded blue jean to it than blue jean material on their body. Courtesans do not dress like that. They're sexually dressed for being what they don't find outside of the brothel. There's a seduction, there's the temptress, there's the enchantress, there's that part of her sexuality that likes that experience. it's getting more and more difficult to find. Just by the way people dress. You think it's okay to go everywhere in a pair of sweats and slippers? I don't even own a pair of sweats. And if I'm going to town, I don't have to be dressed like I'm going to a fine dining institution, but I'm gonna look nice. Okay, because it I feel like I'm representing me. I'm representing not madam Bella But who I am as a woman And I think men do the same thing. We've we've kind of lost respect for ourselves as As being all we can be Yeah, yeah And here's the other thing Bella

Kandidly Kristin: What's funny is that the half-nakedness and everything hanging out that is thrust in our faces on social media and everywhere, music videos, most guys, that's not what they're looking for, per se. They might say it is, they're around the guys, and yeah, you know, but they really want a class act. They want somebody that can be sexy without being half-naked.

BELLA CUMMINS: Yes, so and you can be seductive and fully dressed Absolutely And that this is you know, I know that this is part of Something i'd like to see shift Where it there's more pride in our appearance There's more pride in how we present ourselves authentically, not all made up and fake. I mean, you see, I dress that way at home, I dress that way out there. There's no difference. That's our authenticity and that's what we should be presenting to the world. Who are we today?

Kandidly Kristin: I agree. I so agree. So, look into the future. What are your hopes and grandest aspirations for both the Hacienda Ranch and the Onesta Foundation?

BELLA CUMMINS: You know, my grandest hope for the Hacienda Ranch is to rise to the forefront as a courtesan, as the example of a courtesan run house, legal house, instead of these rules and regulations and possible lockdown codes from some of these cities and counties that that never allow the industry to progress. I have to work with self-starters. When a courtesan comes to Bella's and she needs these real tight rules and regulations, she's in the wrong house. I need women that can be self-starters and they know that they're going to work their, I'm going to call it their career from this hour to this hour, typically, and that they're going to take care of themselves correctly and, and that everything around their business plan is created for their individual success. That's what I mentor. I mentor that. There are many other houses that it's tight rules and regulations, and it's almost 20th century. And for the ladies that need that, it isn't a bad thing. They're in the correct house. They are going to reach their financial goals. And maybe at some point they'll, they'll get a taste of having some ideas of what their business plan looks like as they're continuing to grow. At this time in my life, I I've already done that part and I'm, I'm a leader, I'm a farther along in the evolution of this industry. So I want to be able to walk out the front door and know that everyone's 100% honest, that they're going to keep their shifts, they're going to do all the things they should do to be successful that day. And if they aren't, that they understand they've got to change, they've got to fix that. Because even an Olympian has to practice every day, even when they don't feel like it.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah.

BELLA CUMMINS: So if their success is in that industry, then that's the business portion of their industry. That means they have got to hold themselves accountable. And not look out and be victims or or or or blame something else, because it's always an inside job. And for the Inesta Foundation, I want that to be part of this movement that says there are so many women out there that are the way I just described. Their success is just right there. They just need me and my location in order to reach that financial security and whatever it is they're going to do next. And I also help them understand they have got to hang on to the money. That's really a big part of their thank you for being in service in a way that very few can do. But if they spend the money incorrectly, they're never going to reach their long-term goal of stepping away from the industry into what's next. as quickly as they could have, and in some cases, forever.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah, that's important.

BELLA CUMMINS: Yes, it is. And so, I mean, I understand a little bit of, you know, okay, I've always wanted that purse. Okay, just get the purse. Right, not five of them. No, not five of them. And that way, there's things that I can do to help them with their dreams and goals, whether it's a house, or a car, or going back to school, or being an esthetician. All those things are very, very attainable. And then, obviously, whatever that is, let's say esthetician, then they may have to understand that they may make the same kind of money every day, every week, or it might be a little bit less, but they can adjust their lifestyle to suit that dream and goal. That larger amount of money merely allowed them to attain that and to continue on their path. So I mean, I and I'm going to add this just because it's important to me. How can a person that has. A judgment about what they think I do. Think that I am not making my abundance from these women because they do split their money with me. OK, with the company. But what makes it different is I'm like a hair salon. They they rent a station from me Okay, and that this station, uh is is let's say, um 30 a day Okay, and and for that half of their money I I'm providing their advertising their safety a huge part of their clientele uh all their utilities the insurance the licensing everything that goes along with them being able to follow their path safely and without judgment right and that's the difference and i'm promoting them i'm helping them reach their goals if they if they aren't successful and moving forward in their life they have nothing to share with me for all these expenses. Right, right. So my my mentorship lifts them up, reminds them what they said to me about their dreams and goals. What did you change your mind? No, I just got off track for a minute. All right, well, let's get back on track. And that's the difference between possibly out there on the blade or understanding what I'm offering these women without judging them for their choice. I love it. I would want that to be.

Kandidly Kristin: That was awesome. That was amazing. This entire chat has been amazing. Like I said, I've been trying to have a conversation like this for better part of a year. And I'm so glad that it was you that I got to have this chat with because you've been doing it longest and best. So, you know, that's what I want on the show.

BELLA CUMMINS: Well, and I'm glad to really happy to be here. And, you know, this particular industry that I I didn't come from this. I was the oldest of six kids. We didn't know we were poor. They called it middle class. It's been my platform for growth. I had to grow and become what I'm talking about in order to help the courtesans, to help them understand whether they're in their 20s or 30s, or sometimes there's some in their early 40s. It's like, where are you going? And why are you here? It's never for the money. The money is the barometer of how of how genuine they are as a courtesan. But it's always an in-service to people, whether you're a great listener, whatever that is. And the money just happens. If you hate what you do and you're only here for the money, it is not gonna work. And I know that sometimes there's difficult parts to it. And I know there's other parts that are exhilarating to them. And I'm gonna say everything in between. But they learn something from every client. And the client may not remember their name, they may never remember the client's name. But there's some interaction on a soul level that happens. And that isn't ours to judge.

Kandidly Kristin: Nope. I agree. That is not ours to judge. Bella, thank you so, so, so much. Thank you so much for doing what you do, for being who you are, for coming and sharing this time and helping to hopefully open the minds of some folks that may hear this at some point in time. But we're not done. That's we got the formal part of our little chat out the way. But now we get to the fun stuff and we to play 10 candid questions. So it's just super random questions, and the only rule is you have to answer candidly. So you ready?

BELLA CUMMINS: Yes.

Kandidly Kristin: All right. Question number one. What is your favorite curse word?

BELLA CUMMINS: Bullshit. Nice. Bullshit. Definitely bullshit. You know. Love it. People tell you stuff. People tell you stuff all the time. And you know what's going through your mind.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah. Got to call bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. All right, question number two, dogs or cat?

BELLA CUMMINS: Oh, you know, I'm going to go with dogs, but I have both. They have got barn cats and I have two great Airedales and they're just different. You know, dogs are about loyalty and cats are about cats. Yes, indeed. They are who they are. You can cut me today, and I can claw you tomorrow, you know?

Kandidly Kristin: Tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. That's so true. Oh, my gosh. Question number three. What do people misunderstand about you the most?

BELLA CUMMINS: People take my kindness for weakness.

Kandidly Kristin: Hmm.

BELLA CUMMINS: Hmm. I'm a really, really strong Scorpio. born on like a Chinese, like the Chinese sign of the arc. And I just, you know, I, I just don't quit. And at this time in my life, I am so working to be so much more like a monk where a monk would say, is that so, you know, where, where you're not active. And that is really hard. And so in my dealings with people, sometimes I'll say, you know, it would really be best for the business if you would do it this way. And best for your business as well. And the next thing I know they're doing it, what they wanted to do anyway. And that brings out a part of me that says, you in the wrong house. Yeah. Yeah. But I would rather be soft because I think my energy can be really scary. Only because it's a big energy. Yeah.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So question number four, tea or coffee?

BELLA CUMMINS: Coffee. Me too. Coffee fever. Yeah. You know, I always wind up drinking tea when I'm under the weather, like sick, you get the flu. Yes. And so it's like, oh, somebody see my cup of tea. Oh, yuck. I'm healthy. I'll have a coffee, please.

Kandidly Kristin: Yes, please. And thank you. Yeah. Question number five. If you had the world's undivided attention for five minutes, what would you say?

BELLA CUMMINS: How's that working for you? They don't really have it together up there. Most of us down here at this level, we're wondering, what are they thinking? Because they act like we don't know anything, like we need to be told what to do. And yet, we're just kind of going around the rock in our little canoes, our little rock Right. And like, they think that they've pulled the wool over our eyes. And I just staring around them going, hmm. Yeah. I wonder who is still going to be here when all of you realize there's more of us than you.

Kandidly Kristin: Hmm. Interesting. I like that answer. Huh. All right. Question number six. Beaches or mountains?

BELLA CUMMINS: I live in the mountains, but boy, I like to get to the beach.

Kandidly Kristin: Mm hmm. Yes, indeed.

BELLA CUMMINS: So I always have this water. Yeah. You know, you know, that water sign of Scorpio, which I think is kind of interesting, a little land creature. Yeah. Fine.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah, that is.

BELLA CUMMINS: There's something about the energy of the ocean, you know, and then I always link it back to why did they prevent us from going to the beaches during COVID? Why did they prevent us from getting to that sanctuary of the ocean and the waves coming in and out and the peacefulness that goes along with sort of settling everything down, and it's like, oh no, can't go there.

Kandidly Kristin: Right, yeah, why did they?

BELLA CUMMINS: Well, I would say that they were working to control us, and they just don't realize we aren't very controllable.

Kandidly Kristin: Yeah, yeah, they haven't learned by now. I don't know when they will, but… We have to call bullshit. We have to, okay, we have to call bullshit. All right, question number seven. What's the most valuable lesson you've learned from a mistake or failure in your life?

BELLA CUMMINS: Forgiveness. Forgiving myself. Because if I could have done it differently, I would have. You okay? I just wasn't far enough along at that time to make decisions that I knew were better. Instead, I hoped they would work out. They never did for very long.

Kandidly Kristin: That's a great answer. That is a really great answer. All right. Question number eight. Phone calls or texts?

BELLA CUMMINS: Phone calls.

Kandidly Kristin: I knew you were going to say that. I don't know how I knew.

BELLA CUMMINS: Absolutely. I like to hear what someone has to say. Hear the inflection of their words. Their heart comes through. It's like, where are they at really? It's easy to ask questions then. You never miss a text. What do you mean by that? Everything gets written in. There's those assumptions and then people take it personally and it's like that at all. Right. So texting is just like, no, they could remove that from my phone.

Kandidly Kristin: I hear you. She said they can remove that from my phone. I love it. Question number nine. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

BELLA CUMMINS: My first wish would be that the people that are asleep around the world, meaning consciously asleep, that they would wake up, wake up, okay? My second wish would be that people could be more forgiving. They're way too aggressive with one another. and we're all linked, we're all the same. If one hurts, we all hurt. And with learning forgiveness, the third would be their unconditional love would shine through because there would be nothing to block it.

Kandidly Kristin: Oh, I like that a lot. I like all of that so much. Thank you for that. And the last question, and this question is the same for all my guests. How can my listeners connect with you, with Bella's Highlander Ranch, or the Onesta Foundation?

BELLA CUMMINS: The Onesta Foundation is .org, just like that. OnestaFoundation.org. The emails from the Onesta Foundation, when you click that link, come to me. If anyone has a group of people, whether it's by Zoom or whatever, that they would like to connect with me for me to speak and answer questions with them, please reach out and we'll schedule a time when this, some of the ideas that I have about moving across states, do they know anyone I could talk with privately that could help in the direction? There's a little form, fill it out. I'll get right back to you just as soon as I'm able. And I usually do my best to be within about 24 hours. And then Bella's Hacienda Ranch has a very condensed web address. It's merely bellas.us, B-E-L-L-A-S.us. And if you email from there, you'll get me, I'll answer it, and the same thing applies. I am, I'm a person that answers these things personally because I really come from a place of the unconditional love and the forgiveness and the idea that being sensual sexual beings is a good thing. And life is so short and understanding it that don't have to be part of it, but understanding it can help alleviate some of the negativity that people are carrying, even if it's on a cellular level, and moving on with their lives.

Kandidly Kristin: Love it. Love it. All right. Well, listen, all of Bella's Contact and the Hacienda Ranch and the Onesta Foundation, all of that, the show notes, if you didn't write it down, it's all going to be there forever and ever. Whenever somebody listens to the episode, it'll all be there. So Bella, thank you, thank you, thank you. I really can't thank you enough for number one, your time today, your authenticity, the great work you're doing and advocating and empowering ladies to make choices that reflect their current goals and future goals and just allow them to be authentically themselves. So thank you.

BELLA CUMMINS: Well, I'm honored to be here and it It's something that I'm very passionate about, and I trust that your listeners will have a little different view of being human.

Kandidly Kristin: I think they will. I think we've this one podcast, one conversation, one candid conversation at a time. It's going to happen. So thank you again, Bella. And listen, guys, again, all of Bella's contact info website links will be in the show notes. And don't forget to visit my little old website. at www.TheKandidShop.com. Candid with a K. Listen to an episode, drop a review, and please share the show with your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, complete strangers. Just share it. And until the next time, I want everyone out there to keep it safe, keep it healthy, and keep it kandid.

Legal Sex Work
Destigmatizing Sex Work in Rural Areas
Courtesan Industry Dreams, Goals, Mentorship
Life Lessons and Connection Opportunities
Empowering Women Through Authenticity