Would you describe yourself as a leader? Maybe a self leader? Well you are!
And today we're talking about eight powerful ways that we do express leadership. This is also a bit of a swan song to women leaders around the world, including my mom, who's got some bang up advice for dealing with tricky situations.
Welcome to the modern Creative Woman exploring the art and science of creativity. This is the podcast for women who want to elevate their creativity and start applying creative thinking in their everyday lives. I'm your hostess and creativity expert, Doctor Amy Backos. I'm a licensed psychologist and a registered and board certified art therapist with almost three decades helping women live their authentic lives at the Modern Creative Woman, we are obsessed with helping you build your creativity and self leadership. Through our conversations and creative insights, I'll provide simple tricks and practices that will help take the mystery out of the creative process so you can start each day feeling empowered, creative, and ready to take on whatever comes your way. Let's get started.
I have eight ways that you can use your self leadership in a wide variety of situations at work, at home, and in relationships.
1. Let's dive in. The first one is curiosity. This is one of the core strengths identified by the positive psychology movement. So curiosity is really about, are you paying attention to the world around you? Are you interested in exploring new ideas and concepts? If you're listening, you probably have some curiosity. Self leaders who can maintain an open mind and are eager to learn new things are really going to find that their curiosity pays off. So when we come across something that conflicts with our existing beliefs or is simply new, it's really important that we take time to learn more about it. A self leader knows that there's always something valuable to learn, and sometimes we think, well, I've never thought of it that way before, or that's not what I was taught or what I grew up with. And then we reject those different kinds of ideas. And when people do that, they really get stuck in their ways. And you can tell when people stop growing and developing, they're very stuck in old fashioned ways of thinking. So when I think about curiosity, I think a lot about asking questions. I just did a book review about a book called Think Like Leonardo da Vinci, and I sent the book review out to the woman who subscribed to the Modern Creative Woman email list. And the whole book was so interesting and exciting in ways to be a curious thinker. One of the key concepts in the book that da Vinci used to pique his curiosity was to ask questions. So here's some questions that I have found really helpful for myself and the women that I work with. What is your role in this situation? What are all the options? How might some other women see this and what is the best thing that could happen? In relationships, I learned from my mom a lot about curiosity, and every now and again she would say, when I ask a question, you might have to go figure that one out for yourself. And she would direct me. And it was from simple things like learning how to use a dictionary when I was really little to figuring out how to take care of my car when I got older. That idea that we can figure things out, everything is figure out able, as Marie Forleo says. And it's not scary, it's exciting, it's interesting, and there's certainly a lot of available resources for us. It's all about trusting that we can go have a look and then make some decisions. Melanie Perkins is the founder and CEO of the software platform Canva, and it's a software program that you can use to create designs, business cards, Instagram photos. So she said in the beginning when they were starting to pitch this idea. She said. Every time we got a knock back and understood why people wouldn't invest with us. We changed and revised our pitch because failure was never an option. I love that idea. Failure is really not an option. We're not going to fail at life. There's no F grade in life. So just the idea that we can shift and change is so interesting, and it allows us to be a self leader in a really powerful way.
2. The second is having self-trust and you can call it trust, confidence, intuition, belief, faith. A sign of a great leader is knowing what you know and knowing what you don't know. That's a quote from Angela Ahrendts who is former CEO of the British luxury fashion house Burberry. And she did a lot to increase the revenue of that company. And for her, it's about the modesty of knowing what you don't know. I think that's one of the most beautiful things about getting more and more education is you realize how little you do know. That's interesting. It leads back to curiosity. So when you think about yourself as a self leader, do you trust yourself to make decisions? Follow through with your plans? Can you lead yourself when things are not going so well? I think leadership and especially self leadership requires an incredible amount of self-confidence. It's about trusting that you have your own best interest at heart, and that you're willing to do what it takes to succeed in whatever you're endeavor is to move closer towards your values. It's always a struggle when we lose that self-trust, and self-trust does not mean we're always going to get it right, or that we feel like we have the perfect answer. Self-trust means that we believe in ourselves, that we trust. We can figure it out as we go along. Melinda Gates said, if I didn't fill my schedule with the things I felt were important, other people would fill my schedule with the things that they felt were important. Trusting yourself to prioritize what matters to you is very important in self leadership.
3. Number three, I called calm, cool, and collected. That's another quote from my mom. Let's just try and be calm, cool and collected. To. Can you remain calm, clearheaded and focused even in difficult circumstances? As a self leader, we want to avoid kneejerk reactions. When something pushes a button in us emotionally or we experience a trauma trigger. When we're self leaders, we pull the idea of calmness to give us mental strength. To really fully assess a situation, figure out what's most logical advantageous, what benefits the most people. And as a self leader, we can stay calm when other people seem to fall apart because of stress or uncertainty or disappointment. My mom would say, be kind, be safe, have fun. And it's another way of reflecting on staying calm that it's important to be calm in stressful situations. But it's also important to be calm in exciting and interesting situation so we don't get swept away. As Susan Wojcicki is one of Google's first employees, and she says, things are always changing. Part of being successful is being comfortable with not knowing what's going to happen. Let me repeat that one part of being successful is being comfortable with not knowing what's going to happen.
4. Number four is about getting clear. It's knowing your thoughts, your feelings, your past conditioning, social situation conditioning. It's also being clear in your dreams and the players at hand who will be impacted by your decisions. In addition to you to. When we think about clarity as a self leader, it's about looking beyond your own biases and your own preconceptions to reach a really clear, accurate view of the situation. I've talked a lot about making contact with the present moment. That really applies here. Everyone has their own beliefs and biases, and smart women work hard to recognize our own biases, as well as recognize those of the people around them. As a self leader, we can strive to see the big picture and the fine details so that our decisions aren't based on how we've been socialized to think about other people or ourselves. It doesn't rely on past experiences to predict what's happening in our future dreams. Angela Merkel says, for me, it's always important that I go through all the possible options for a decision.
5. Number five compassion. Now, I'm pretty sure you're compassionate to other people where women tend to struggle, I think is self-compassion. Sarah Blakely, she is the inventor and founder of Spanx, says, don't be intimidated by what you don't know. That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else. Having self-compassion means that you're willing to listen to that inner voice and see where it leads you. So are you aware of your own humanity? Are you compassionate about your own struggles and your own limitations? I think good self leaders are able to acknowledge the struggles of themselves and the people around them. Self leadership really requires us to push and motivate ourselves, while also having a degree of understanding and compassion towards our own personal limitations. Growing edges, personal struggles. Oprah Winfrey said, I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I've become. If I had, I'd have done it a lot earlier.
6. Number six bravery. If I was struggling with something in the future, trying to anticipate what might happen, or what I would do if someone complained about what I was doing or judged me, this is what my mom would say. Don't worry about that now. We'll burn that bridge when we get to it. She didn't say we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. She would say, we will burn that bridge when we get to it. I love that message that if something gets in our way, we can adjust and make changes than worrying too much about the future, the judgments or the. Side. Eye glances we might get from other people does not serve us. So when you think about self leadership, can you hold your head high and take a first step in the direction of your values? Many important goals require a lot of risk. Now, the direction towards our values isn't always the easiest or the cheapest, or the most acceptable to the people us. But self leadership asks us to bravely move in the direction of our values, regardless of the risk. Now, I didn't say fearlessly move in the right direction towards our values. We can do it with fear. Remember, bravery shows up when we have fear. Amal Clooney says courage, as they say, is contagious. People who have had the courage to change their societies in India, South Africa, the United States, they inspire each other and create rights for future generations.
7. Number seven, this one's my favorite. Can you guess? It's creativity. Vice President Harris says there will be people who say to you, you are out of your lane. They are burdened by only having the capacity to see what has always been instead of what can be. And she advises, don't let that burden you. So when you think about creativity, are you coming up with fresh ideas and new options each time you approach a problem? I think self leaders are able to see beyond the usual or expected actions. And find solutions that are unique or can even accelerate our results towards our goals. Creativity is the unique missing ingredient that allows us to step away from the crowd when we need to. It allows us to stand out in business, in relationships, and in many other places. Now, not everyone's really comfortable moving away from the crowd, and it can be very uncomfortable doing things that are considered novel or strange. But self leadership is certainly easier if you have creativity and you're brave enough to really follow through with those ideas. Lisa Sue is one of the few women to run a fortune 500 company, Advanced Micro Devices. She says the world is starving for new ideas and great leaders who will champion those ideas. Trust me, the world is not saturated with ideas. The world needs your voice. World is starving for new ideas. I love that quote.
8. Okay, number eight last one community. Rosalind Brewer says, think about this. Have I been bringing enough people along? You can help a peer become a leader. It's not a competition. It's not a race. So do you feel like you're a part of a larger group? Are you connected? Self leadership requires a lot of independent thought and action, and ultimately you're the woman who makes decisions about her life. However, acting as a team and having a community is essential. I've talked before about the heroine's journey. The hero's journey is going out and fighting the battle and returning home. The heroines journey is much more complex, and it includes going out and gathering a community of people and working together to solve problems and achieve collective goals. Kendra Scott is a entrepreneur and has billion dollar company. Around jewelry and home decor. And she says, I'm always looking for new mentors and asking people, hey, if you were in my shoes, what would you do? It's pretty amazing what you can get from that. I love that quote. If you were in my shoes, what would you do? And it doesn't mean you take their answer of someone else. It means you add it to your list of possible brainstorming ideas.
Let me know what you think of these eight areas of self leadership inside the modern creative woman. This month we did a self inventory looking at how well we are able to express ourselves in each of these areas and figuring out our strengths and our growing edges. And then I taught how positive psychology has given us this incredible concept of using our strengths to pull up areas of personal growth, and then we can start to make it fun. And playing little games, conducting some experiment, and taking steps committed actions towards our values using these self leadership techniques. I also wanted to say thank you to the women athletes who reached out to me to share their experience in athletics. I talked in episode 39 about women's sports psychology, and how it has shifted our understanding of athletes to consider the whole intersecting identities of each athlete, rather than simply focusing on their athletic skill. And what it has brought to sports psychology has been tremendous and very powerful.
So thank you so much for sharing your stories. I love hearing the impact of athletics on your personal growth and your self leadership. Have a wonderful rest of your week. Now that you know about how to use your creativity, what will you create? Want more? Subscribe to the Modern Creative Woman digital magazine. It's absolutely free and it comes out when some men and I know you can get a lot out of the podcast and the digital magazine. Yet when you're ready to take it to the next level, I want you to know you have options inside the membership. And if you're interested in a private consultation, please feel free to book a call with me. Even if you just have some questions, go ahead and book a call. My contact is in the show notes and you can always message me on Instagram. Do come find me in the Modern Creative Woman on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest at Doctor Amy Backus. If you like what you're hearing on the Modern Creative Woman podcast, I want to give you the scoop on how you can support the podcast. You can be an ambassador and share the podcast link with three of your friends. You can be a community supporter by leaving a five star review. If you think it's worth the five stars, and you can become a Gold Star supporter for as little as $3 a month, all those links are in the show notes. Remember to grab your free copy of the 21 Day Gratitude Challenge. The link is in the show notes and you can find it at Mountain Creative Women Comm. Have a wonderful week and I cannot wait to talk with you in the next episode.