Journey with me and my mom, Marlon Najam, as we trace our family's footprints from India to America. This is a tale woven with excitement, anticipation, and heartfelt decisions. Remembering my mother's youthful dreams of living in Canada, her love for Leonard Cohen, and the sacrifices made to give her children a life in the U.S, we paint a vivid picture of our transition. Our episode is a tribute to those who dare to dream and cross borders in search of better futures.
Our conversation meanders through the labyrinth of cultural identity and values in a foreign land. We reflect on the significance of bilingualism, the exposure to diverse cultures, and the importance of respecting family values. This is a dialogue about the delicate balance of teaching children the etiquette of their roots while allowing them the space to sprout their own unique identities. Together, we probe into the impact of male chauvinism and why children's happiness should always be a priority.
As we break stereotypes and explore personal passions, our discussion takes a deep dive into the unique cultural influences my mom encountered while raising her children in America and how she deftly navigated these challenges. We discuss the joy in individual successes and the freedom that our family valued, allowing us to chase our passions. This episode is a humble tribute to the strength of immigrant parents and a stark reminder of the power of love and the importance of showing it. Join us, be a part of our journey, and let our experiences resonate with your own.
Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/effinfunny
Sign up for the ABCD Email List: https://mailchi.mp/effinfunnyproductions/abcd
Join the conversation on Discord: https://discord.gg/effinfunny-783006672439345154
Journey with me and my mom, Marlon Najam, as we trace our family's footprints from India to America. This is a tale woven with excitement, anticipation, and heartfelt decisions. Remembering my mother's youthful dreams of living in Canada, her love for Leonard Cohen, and the sacrifices made to give her children a life in the U.S, we paint a vivid picture of our transition. Our episode is a tribute to those who dare to dream and cross borders in search of better futures.
Our conversation meanders through the labyrinth of cultural identity and values in a foreign land. We reflect on the significance of bilingualism, the exposure to diverse cultures, and the importance of respecting family values. This is a dialogue about the delicate balance of teaching children the etiquette of their roots while allowing them the space to sprout their own unique identities. Together, we probe into the impact of male chauvinism and why children's happiness should always be a priority.
As we break stereotypes and explore personal passions, our discussion takes a deep dive into the unique cultural influences my mom encountered while raising her children in America and how she deftly navigated these challenges. We discuss the joy in individual successes and the freedom that our family valued, allowing us to chase our passions. This episode is a humble tribute to the strength of immigrant parents and a stark reminder of the power of love and the importance of showing it. Join us, be a part of our journey, and let our experiences resonate with your own.
Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/effinfunny
Sign up for the ABCD Email List: https://mailchi.mp/effinfunnyproductions/abcd
Join the conversation on Discord: https://discord.gg/effinfunny-783006672439345154
Listen to that cheering. Listen to that cheering. Hello everyone. Hello, how's it going? Welcome to ABCD. Thank you so much for joining us. this week We have a very special episode commemorating the holiday. My name is Omar Najam, but, more importantly, i am joined by my mother, marlon Najam, hello.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello.
Speaker 1:Hello, welcome back. Welcome back. You made Sandy very jealous of the popularity of your episode, you know.
Speaker 3:We've not heard the end of it since.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a daily text I get.
Speaker 2:I'll try very hard to not be a one hit wonder.
Speaker 1:Whoa, okay, so I'm not going to pull a block of seagulls, all right, our show, abcd American born chatty daisies is a podcast within a live stream within our lives is to American born daisies. It's a pod duck in. This is for anyone out there who, like us, is navigating your cultural identity and you just want chat about it. Normally we have the podcast broken to three acts, but instead we are just focusing on talking with my mom, so we'll be doing that just a second. But first I got to mention our sponsors. We got two really great sponsors specifically for this week, special sponsors. The first one is, of course, daisy quest, that's right, an actual play, ttfg set in a South Asian mythology inspired universe built by star GM Jasmine, that bronze gold bull, or with a seller cast that includes cook role darling Anjali Bamani, who's also on dimension 20, dimension 20 darling Rick Ashanka, who's also on dimension 20, and two more darlings me, who's also been on dimension 20, and Sandy. Our other sponsor is, of course, you. That's right, it's you. Thank you so much for helping us out.
Speaker 1:Head over to patreoncom slash f and funny E, f, f, i, n, f, u, n, n? Y. We've got multiple tiers for contributions. For $5 a month. You get to play with us during our after show on Twitch for $10 a month. We sing your name in the credits. That's going to be me today, have my guitar singing right next to me and we've got a ton more on there, so go ahead and check that out. If you want to support. They see us just doing cultural stuff and creative stuff and you want to help us keep the ABCD lights on. Head over to patreoncom, slash f and funny. So with that business out of the way, should we get started? Does that sound good, mom? Yes, honey, great. So we are here to talk about being a Dasty parent in America, which you have some experience with. Is that correct?
Speaker 2:Yeah, i've seen, as all three of you were born here in this country and I'm Dasty, so that fits all the categories.
Speaker 1:Let me ask this Was it a conscious decision? because what you moved from India to England, was it a conscious decision to not have children in England, that you were like we're going to go to the States?
Speaker 2:No, not really. I was just waiting for the right person to have children with, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:But who wasn't an American? I need to clarify.
Speaker 3:It's a British man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, So wait, you and dad were you like did you have plans to raise a family in England? or were you like we'll probably go to the States if we're going to have like a house and stuff.
Speaker 2:I don't know, because every time I say something, you're going to go, mom, really So. I have to be kind of careful how I put it.
Speaker 1:That's what the people want. Let's get on the front page of Reddit.
Speaker 2:Let's go. The really answer. Okay, so it's all about timing, right? It dad had the freedom to kind of establish his career and do all the things that he really wanted to do and seeing that he had already lived here in Texas before and stuff like that, he was very familiar. I wasn't, and my reluctance was that it was going to put me several hours farther away from my family. Either way, i looked at it, whether.
Speaker 2:I lived in New York, or whether I lived in the West Coast, as it turned out. In my very younger days, i used to always aspire to go live in Canada.
Speaker 1:Okay In Canada.
Speaker 2:In Canada And I have no idea why. Now I can't even recall my. I looked at as time has passed.
Speaker 1:You've been like really soured on Canada.
Speaker 2:No other than other than being, you know, being alive. And in Toronto, when Leonard Cohen was alive because I'm a huge Leonard Cohen fan, right, i was just like, oh my God, i want to go and have coffee where he has coffee and I want to walk around the streets. He's walked on the street. You know that's fandom, right? I mean, that's what you do, yeah, but it didn't work out. It worked out, it all came together When dad and I came on a trip here.
Speaker 1:Okay 87,.
Speaker 2:I think, Yes, it was Right. Yeah, that just said let's go to California. I said why? And he says because, and I said that's good enough reason, let's go. So we did And we actually started. We did a coast to coast trip. That was fantastic. We started in New York, met up with his friends and hung out in Long Island for a bit And then we got on the plane, came clear across the country to San Jose, california, and then rented a car from San Jose, went to Los Angeles, you know, did the Disney thing that everybody does And then we drove through the desert and everywhere.
Speaker 1:What you went to Disney when you were first visiting here. Like Disneyland, Yes.
Speaker 2:In a very has to do that.
Speaker 1:Did you because you haven't been back since right.
Speaker 2:No, i have been back. once. You were a few months old, okay, when your uncle came here with his boys and we promised the boys that we would take them to your cousins.
Speaker 1:Okay, so not to derail going to the desert, but real quick. is there a particular reason as to why, if you after like for now 30 something years you've been like I'm not going to do, for half the age of Disneyland you've been like I'm not going back to the park?
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, it's nothing like that. I just don't have the kind of craze that you guys have. Okay for going there, because to me it hasn't changed or it doesn't change Right And I'd kind of like gone past that stage. You know, i was kind of like approaching my 30s, so I was just like Yeah okay.
Speaker 3:I am Okay, but like.
Speaker 1:That's very funny for you to be like. I'm not like you guys. Anyway, i was in my 30s. I was growing out of this.
Speaker 2:I was maturing and getting on to my life. To me I have friends that are 67. Yeah, That would go to Disney twice a year.
Speaker 1:Yes, twice a year I used to go. I used to go once a week.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:Because the annual pass honestly was cheaper than therapy. That was kind of the reason that we said that we would go once a week. It's great, it's great.
Speaker 2:Would you be open to?
Speaker 1:going here, speaking on the internet and on this podcast. Would you be open to trying it again 30 years later?
Speaker 2:I would, because now I've learned how to dress for the roller coasters and things, because coming from England? yes, one does not go on roller coasters with a skirt on. that is that makes sense, the dumbest thing that one can do, because it goes on your face and then you can't see where you're going.
Speaker 1:That makes that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do want to get too much information.
Speaker 1:I also want to see the attractions around me. I completely agree. What isn't it an incentive to tell you that they took out Splash Mountain?
Speaker 2:I like that.
Speaker 1:No, it's not, it's like it had it. It was kind of uncomfortable. We kind of got rid of some stuff that needed to get rid of. We're upgrading it I'm saying it like I run the park We're upgrading it to Princess and the Frog.
Speaker 2:Princess and the Frog Yeah Or Fog.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Okay. I want you to tell me right now What do you think the movie Princess and the Fog would be. Please, please, explain to me what Princess and the Disney's Princess and the Fog would be. What would that film be?
Speaker 2:The Princess and the Fog would be this princess, who has this image of a prince that she absolutely desired.
Speaker 1:Literally no one's allowed to right now. We're all on strike This is so sad Okay so far you've got a princess as an idea of a prince.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she has, like this, you know, image of a prince in her mind And she's like she's looking for him everywhere amongst people and amongst you know other, i don't know training schools, like you know, training to be a warrior or something.
Speaker 1:But she's looking for the prince and get this.
Speaker 2:She goes into this. You know foggy evening. She's just strolling through this street.
Speaker 1:Go for a walk, sure. And what time period is this, by the way?
Speaker 2:Huh What time period is this.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Any time period you want it to be.
Speaker 1:I don't mind, i'm just interested in the 90s.
Speaker 2:Okay, earlier than that, maybe even.
Speaker 1:Okay, so 87 when you were visiting the states?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then she's walking around and all of a sudden her foot gets stuck in a hole and in the ground And then she's like help, i can't get out. And and she realizes that it's all foggy And there's no one around to rescue her. and she goes and she says look skyward. and she says I will never find my prince and just then guess what happens? The prince arrives.
Speaker 2:Okay, He says are you interested in my lady? And she says yes, I am, And could you help me? Uh huh, Yeah. He says I will, absolutely. And then he bends down and you know, he just un wedges Her like foot out of the hole and stuff. And he just gives it a good drop and says is that good? And if she was like me, smart, she would say no, I can't walk, You'll have to carry me.
Speaker 1:So I see.
Speaker 2:You see where it's going. The fog came in handy.
Speaker 1:Is that? is that the full run of the two hour film or is that the opening?
Speaker 2:Uh no, that's kind of two thirds, I think it's great.
Speaker 3:I mean, lord of the Rings is mostly walking. I don't see why this movie can't be mostly walking in fog, that's very true, or like it's one of those filmed in real time kind of kind of movies, so like she's stuck in that hole in real time and you're experiencing every moment.
Speaker 2:And if it was a third, then she could say he would say my lady, you look very famished, why are you hungry? And she says I am because I was stuck in the forest and I have nothing to eat. And he would say let me take you to my cottage. I have a fresh deer I just hunted or something Okay.
Speaker 1:And she would say but I'm a vegetarian Right, Is this extended? I don't know. I think they needed to stretch. Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:If we needed to make sure there was more time And that she would be reward.
Speaker 2:She would just fall for him And then the next day all the soldiers will arrive from her father's kingdom and they would go back and report to the king that this nice young man rescued your daughter And he would command him to come over. And then he would say ask me for anything you want for saving my daughter's life. And he would say, sire, i only desire your daughter's hand in marriage. How sweet is that.
Speaker 3:You're hired.
Speaker 1:That's great.
Speaker 3:I can't be hired right now because all the writers are striking, so you're not hired currently.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, omar, please Are you open to this being animation?
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, it could be.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, it could be animated.
Speaker 2:It could be a puppet show We'd like to watch. Yeah, I'll have that, i'll have some marines and do a stream show. Yeah, the little zoo that we have in Saturday.
Speaker 1:I mean, 3D is not really taken off the way we thought it would. Maybe we should pivot to marionettes.
Speaker 3:It's gonna save us so much money on casting. I really like this idea.
Speaker 1:Incredible. Okay, you do Let's talk about in terms of, like you know movies and stuff like that, which is all part of culture, and you know puppet shows. I want to ask you when we were growing up as kids me and my two younger siblings, and we lived in the suburbs in San Jose did you feel that there was a culture clash, like? did you feel like you wanted to raise us more Desi, less Desi? you wanted us to not take in certain parts of American culture? What was kind of your experience with that?
Speaker 2:Um, you know I've said this so many times before. I'll reiterate My whole philosophy of raising you guys is first is your own image. your own self image mattered a lot to me. If you identified as a Brit, i would have found a way to take you back there and, you know, put you in a boarding school if you wanted to be, or I would have stayed there. I would have stayed there with the kids that wanted to grow up, which?
Speaker 2:is why we put you in the International Baccalaureate? Because once we realized that you had a way with words, we were like he should go to Cambridge. Get the hell out of.
Speaker 1:America.
Speaker 2:This one can talk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so you so there. So there was an association you had with England That you were like it's this, what about Dacey culture? Because we I don't recall growing up super like as Indian, as like some other people that I know, or like other family members, but I do feel like there's a bunch of stuff that we did that I thought was everyday American Everyone in this country does it And it turned out that it was like specific to Indian culture. So did you want to be like here's how Indian things happen, or were you like this is I'm just going to craft my own like melting pot culture of like general American stuff, general Indian stuff, californian values, english values. What was like your thought process through that of like what you were going to introduce to the house?
Speaker 2:Again, it was a bit of this, bit of that. I wanted you to be able to converse with your grandma when you went back to England. We did prayers So you understood that when you arrived in England and there was a certain requirement and you need the, you knew the etiquette.
Speaker 1:at least you know okay, I see So with the idea of like interacting with family, like being prepared for situations.
Speaker 2:Right, right, right, and and the because the funny thing was hold on my, your butt is falling out. So, anyways, because the thing of it was that I grew up amongst look, i speak five languages. Need I keep reminding you? So what happens is there? I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm not, you know saying this nicely, but I should say it nicely that it was purely because as kids we respected everybody's cultures. As we went from home to home to visit our friends and stuff.
Speaker 2:If we did not know how to greet our friends as parents in their vernacular or their mother tongue, as we say in in Queens English or now Kings English, we were considered rude. You know, if we went to somebody's house and we said, hello, uncle, i'm here to play with your daughter, that wouldn't cut it. You know you would, you would be courteous and you would say, you know, in their language, say they were Punjabis. You know you'd go there and you say Namaste, aunty, tosikite, tico, janga Ji, tanji, kaila Naya, and all this kind of stuff. Or if they offered you food, you know you wouldn't say, oh, we Bengalis, we don't need this. You know that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:It wouldn't happen. So that's the kind of stuff, kind of philosophy I raised, and credit to your dad, i mean he was really he was really generous in letting me do these kind of things.
Speaker 2:He never interfered. I always consulted him and if he said Yes, you know we did it as a whole family. If he said No, then then he, you know, didn't do it and we did it. Likewise, you know, when you traveled to Chicago and we had exposure to all different, different denominations of Bengalis, not just Bengalis and Indian Bengalis, they're Bangladeshi people and other, you know, people from other regions that maintained So yeah. however, all that said, we did not have as much exposure to the Indian slash Bengali culture because of dad's friends and their companies. So we had to make room for that, you know. So, so yeah, so I think you guys did well to honor that.
Speaker 3:Thank you I respect you guys for it.
Speaker 1:What were there any and you can? this show is mostly like a gory show, so don't worry about getting in trouble with the homeland are Were there any aspects of Indian culture that you did not want us to absorb? Were there any expectations that you thought were like archaic or problematic in any way that you were like I'm not introducing my children to this Because I don't like we, for example, like I don't remember ever growing up with any idea of like what the caste system was until, like I was much older, like I never got that sense of like a taxonomy of importance societally within people until we went to India, i think, for the first time, that I was like old enough to be like wait, what is this and how does this work? So, yeah, were there any things in Indian culture that you're like we're not touching this, like things from your childhood that were like you were like I'm not, i'm not doing this, my kids are not going to experience this or learn about this in this way.
Speaker 2:I've been waiting for a long time to answer this question Well, well, thank you.
Speaker 3:I was standing with Delvin for.
Speaker 1:My tongue.
Speaker 2:I was just like whoa. I want to say this, Okay, So can I just say that it was male chauvinism. I absolutely Okay. Or male chauvinism.
Speaker 2:Sure If somebody if somebody, even even when, remotely, i was a child and I was a younger person and and he was my uncle and he was, you know, probably much older than my dad, even, or whatever And very learned person. But then you know they had that weird way of talking to you and kind of like, like you know I'm your uncle, respect me? Hell, no, i see, i will respect you if you prove yourself. You know so. So I had that barometer. People have to measure up to my, my kind of Graph.
Speaker 3:Whatever?
Speaker 2:So yeah, if, if you respected me, i respected you back. I mean, you've heard the stories about my sister's wedding rate. I mean I think there was like there was some chaos about there, like, oh, why this and that you know it's like is the?
Speaker 1:girls happiness.
Speaker 2:It matters, and it matters the most. And who are you guys? I mean, you know you don't pay for my food bills. My dad does. And but it's, you know, a lot of it is. They're not even aware of it, which is really pathetic and very sad, because they they feel like they're doing the right thing by you. They're like, oh, you know, you guys have become too American or too foreign. You know, because dad used to travel a lot abroad and they would say oh yeah yeah, yeah, you bring those ideas back home and look at your children.
Speaker 2:Why does she have to take off archery? She doesn't need to do archery, she's an Indian kid. It's like yeah, so what Indian Maharanis and the goddesses used to do? archery and sword swordmanship, sword person ship, you know they mean how to do all of that. So so I learned that too.
Speaker 1:So I don't know if we talked about this and I mean then we'll come back to, i think, like the main sort of core of what you're saying. but like, really quickly, is it? you were so you did archery. Do you also do like sharp shooting?
Speaker 2:Target shooting.
Speaker 1:Target shooting. And were you like an Olympic, like you could have gone to the Olympics or something?
Speaker 2:I. I was in National Cadet Corps, which is easy, yeah, and I did this score very, very well, and they used to always try to convince my mom because that was easier to deal with. Mom wasn't. So they would always be like can we take her for tryouts? Can we take her for tryouts? She could really go on a national level, you know, and my mother would be. I don't know, i don't think so.
Speaker 3:Well.
Speaker 2:I, can we speak to your husband? She goes no, you're talking to me and I'm just telling you. And you know that my mom wasn't a big woman, She was just a little person and right and now very demure and very like quiet and you know, but once in a while she, she just like bring out the fire and she just turned out and say why you don't think I'm capable of making decisions for my daughter, Something like that.
Speaker 2:And then they would all be like, because Bengalis, by nature, are supposed to be very gentle people.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So we kind of people assume that if you're Bengalis you know you're going to be very demure and I eat stuff. Well, i grew up with the Punjabis and stuff and I was I was a tough kid, so just like yeah, but I mean that is something I really do enjoy. I did enjoy it immensely and I was like I wish I could, but then I found other things. You know, i found theater and that just kind of like yeah, okay, never mind, i can do theater and make a name for myself, you know.
Speaker 1:so Let me ask the big stereotypical question that is done to death But we can it's. If it's not done to death, we can kill it here now. Your children turned out to be in reverse order of age, like an art gallery owner and professional Magic, the Gathering player, a National Park Ranger and a craftsman and a professional D&D player, and these are not necessarily traditional jobs. When you think of, like raising Indian family, did you, did you ever have the expectations of that like engineered, doctor, sort of like old, like 1980s sort of joke version that, while we all are just like, no one thinks that anymore. So many of my friends are, all you know, engineers or you know, and developers or doctors. Did you ever feel that pressure to us to put that on to us? Was it like a conscious decision to like avoid that language in the house?
Speaker 2:Let me answer that with another question.
Speaker 1:Are you?
Speaker 2:a happy human being.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i mean in terms of my creative life, in terms of how much money I make It's a struggle, but but in terms of being creatively fulfilled and having no regrets about the decisions that I've made, sort of professionally.
Speaker 1:I would say yes, like I would say that I can, i've worked The closest I've come to a quote unquote normal job is a marketing job and I couldn't do it. I kept trying to recreate all their systems and improve them and I couldn't do things the way they were established and I was told to do So. Yeah, i would say yes, i feel very much like myself.
Speaker 2:So I've done my job. I've done my job. I've given you my answer. You've answered it for me. Let me tell you. Let me tell you When people would come to me after your gate.
Speaker 1:teacher, remember, Miss Shaffer, a gifted and talented education.
Speaker 2:Good, i mean, god bless her. She was just so amazing And she would come to me and she goes. do you know what a joy it is to have him in my class? And I would say oh really, and she'd go. why do you say oh really? I said no, i'm just asking.
Speaker 1:Because it's such a dour presence in the house.
Speaker 3:So happy to give up the schools. I'm going to wait for a little bit.
Speaker 1:You know the worst part of my day.
Speaker 2:Do you know what? Let me say this also And I have thanked you before I'm not doing it because I'm on your show. I am saying it because I truly am thankful for the way you would take things on and take them to 100% and beyond, and it was something that you truly were how shall I say it? dedicated to and gifted to also. And we never, as parents, we never said you had to do something, even if you hated it. If you wanted to do something and you were not capable of, then, as parents, we provided you that opportunity and that incentive to see if we could entice you into going that way, but we would never consider forcing you.
Speaker 2:I mean, we think that your middle brother is an excellent engineer, excellent engineer. He's got this such a divergent thinker And he can just give him some problem. And then in the morning he's like OK, here's the solution. And I was like why did you not switch off your light last night? It was burning all night. I was working on this problem, you're working on this problem. So, as parents and like I say, we are good partners, your dad and I, in that sense that we were in unison, Even if I did not agree with some things.
Speaker 2:He was saying I'd take it on away from you guys. But I'd be like, oh, you're supposed to say this? We are his parents. And he'd be like, oh, because he was like that And Grandpa was like that. Grandpa, don't forget, Grandpa was like hey, I brought you to a land of opportunity. You guys are on your own. Make it or break it.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know And that's kind of like is in the genes of the family that you are given an opportunity. It's up to you. You know You're going to make it or you're going to not make it.
Speaker 1:So are you saying? for you it was more of a case of there's no confines. Does that make sense? Like it's not a rebellion against the stereotype. It was like if you want to do this, then great. If you don't. And you want to do this, then great.
Speaker 2:See, we were all, yeah, i think, in my family. I can speak for my family more than I can dad's, but as much as I know because I was a good friend with your grandma.
Speaker 2:I was always chatting with her and she would confide in me and she would tell me all these wonderful stories about how grandpa opened a school for these people. Because when grandpa was repatriated from India and he was given like 120 acres of land or something middle of nowhere and said, ok, this is your land, make whatever you will out of it. Well, he made a citadel out of that deserty, barren thing. He built a school. He used to get magazines American magazines for the kids to just do around. I mean, dad knows all the aircrafts because grandpa was in Royal Air Force, all his brothers were in Royal Air Force, all cousins and everybody. So they know about all these aircrafts. And then engineering was such a big deal And yet nobody went into engineering from three of our children.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that was OK with him. He didn't force anybody to go anywhere. But we understand and we see some of your friends are big time entertainment attorneys and stuff and owning homes and things. It's great. I love them equally, but for me it is the peace of mind and that joy of living I am having to do this because it is enforced on me, whether I can or not. It's like do you recall the fight I had with one of your English honors teachers in the middle school? Because she Yes.
Speaker 1:Ms Bailey.
Speaker 2:Yes, i was going to name her, but anyways.
Speaker 1:I'll say it, i'm here. Ms Bailey, this is for you.
Speaker 2:This is for your viewers or listeners. I never took her class. There was a teacher who thought Omar does not belong in English honors class in seventh grade. So she said, well, I can't have him because he doesn't qualify, even though you were coming for a gifted and talented student from elementary school. So I wasn't going to throw the race card at her and stuff, because at a certain time I decided that you were going to speak for yourself And I was just waiting for that opportunity. Because along came the young author's book fair Guess whose book got the top prize. Then came the speech contest Guess who got the award for it?
Speaker 3:And the greatest thing was, it was William Shakespeare.
Speaker 2:Eighth grade English honors teacher came to me somewhere during middle of seventh grade And she says I can't wait for your son to be in my class next year. And I said and how would he go? because he hasn't done seventh grade, because it was a prerequisite you had to have done the seventh grade to have gone to the eighth grade. So she said she looked at me and she said I want him in my class. And I said so I'm hearing you say your lips are saying something, but I'm hearing you say that you will make it happen for him. She said yes, and I said I just said you're the best And you belong in the hall of famous teachers. You don't belong, seriously. I mean Miss Lawler, god bless her. Even now, every time she steps in that office she walks up to me and she'll say what's my boy doing these days? Tell me about him.
Speaker 2:You know it's so adorable that she still follows your career and she follows what everything. When you had selected 50 most interesting people from UCSB, she was the one person I called and I said Miss Lawler, you've got to hear this. And she said I mean, i've got goosebumps, i'm talking about it. And she was just like I could have told you that. Why am I surprised? And she said I'm not surprised at all. She said I knew he had a place and he had a place. And we were like great, that's sometimes. You have to just leave it there And it's better to retire on a high note than to drag it down to a point where it's like, eh, i don't know what happened, we should have just left it way back there.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So, yes, i could have pushed you guys to be someone that you perhaps would have been, could have been, should have been. But I'm not a would have, could have, should have person. I'm just like, enjoy it. And that's how I was. I mean, i did all the crazy stuff And everybody was like, oh, she should have done that. I wanted to go to Indian Film Institute in Pune, which was very new at that time, and the reason that was given to me that I couldn't go there was I had to go by myself And they could not permit a young child to go by. I mean, i wasn't a young child, i was a young adult that I could not have gone. So I said, all right, i'll just leave and go live in England. So There you go. But anyway, i mean, and you know what? Here's the thing, all these things said, i always say everybody has a path that they carve for themselves, they walk the walk.
Speaker 2:Some do talk the talk, don't do walk the walk. But for me it was like it just was different. I mean, i don't know. Amir calls it neurodivergent or something these days. It's like, i don't know, i don't think it was divergence, but it was neuroalright, but it's just like but anyways, i don't mind. I mean we are friendly and we are allowed to say things In our home. At least we say we speak openly. If you couldn't speak in your own home, where could you? You could say it outside and get beaten up. I mean that would be the wrong message to give to your child that go outside and just say whatever crap you want to say and then be like whoa, why did you come home with a black eye? Because I said something. The guy didn't like it So he punched me.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So anyway, that's that Yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:I mean that's a very I'll ask. I'll definitely ask a question around that off, because that note is a pretty big one to end on. But first something I should probably should have asked earlier did you unplug your headphones Because I can hear a little echo, did I?
Speaker 2:do what?
Speaker 1:Unplug your headphones.
Speaker 2:No one of them came off a little bit. Maybe that's why Hold on. Sorry, it did come off.
Speaker 1:Mr.
Speaker 2:Soundcheck Man is supposed to say something to me. Tell me, you got to make a card.
Speaker 3:You were telling an excellent story. I didn't want to interrupt you during it, so I've just been mitigated by trying to like, when all are saying something, just like muting you for the stream for a second and then unmuting when you go back, so that it's mostly only a little bit more here in the echo.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, we're just waiting for it to come off. Sweetheart, you're treating me like a mother should be treated on Mother's Day. God bless you, child.
Speaker 1:So let me ask it to sort of like address and wrap up the uh, the day itself, the holiday in a way, but not to make it so pointed or limited in scope And the spirit of everything that you've said. It's been, it's been antithetical to that, it's all been. It's not about restrictions, it's not about labels. That's the thing we talk a lot about on the show being away and outside from, feeling confined and not being like uh, culture is a thing that squeezes you into a box. If you have labels, those are things that emancipate you and that inform you. It's not anything to make you just one way or the other. It's something you get to celebrate. So I'm going to ask you a question that is outside, like the specifics of, like, mother's Day, um, and this is just you as a person, like, not even specifically, my mom, but just you as a person.
Speaker 1:Uh, there is a lot of reconnecting going on right now, with us emerging from the enforced quarantine and uh and and trying to re-socialize, trying to start new relationships, whether those are romantic or not, uh, friendships or business relationships, Um. So I'm going to ask you this question How do you, how do you show, share and foster love with other people? What do you think is your specific way that you let people know that you love them and that you care about them?
Speaker 2:Hmm, that's a heavy question. No, it's kind of waiting.
Speaker 1:You can go back to Princess and the fog. Do you PG?
Speaker 2:13, the R. What do you think? To leave the fog alone, that's fine, because, no wait, i did. What I didn't tell you was I'm in dad's office and the fog was so beautiful early on, so it was easy for me to spin that story you know because visualize it, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. So the question was what now?
Speaker 1:So attentiveness is maybe something we can strike off that list. Got it, i got it.
Speaker 2:I recalled it. I recalled it, i recalled it.
Speaker 3:Sorry, i got distracted by the princess and the fog.
Speaker 2:So the thing is you, you have to value people in your life, right, mm-hmm? And my personal you know theory is if I value you, i am with you, right, okay? And if I don't value you, you can be a person of really high stature, with a lot of money and fancy cars or whatever. You're still an asshole for me. So I'm sorry, i'm not supposed to say that, maybe. I'm sorry You didn't hear it.
Speaker 3:Nope. So on the internet it's out there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, good, no, but anyways, what I'm saying is, if I value a person and, for any reason, that person was sick or whatever, i would do whatever that person needed to nurture them and to care for them. It is not about anything else at that point, it is about the fact that you care for them. And just recently there was a friend and they were diagnosed with something and their partner said that they had thought that they should speak, they should say something because they saw something And it is like that, you know. It is like if it is something you can help them with, then I think you should rise up to it and do it.
Speaker 2:But do not be foolish. Do not do it in a way that you are harming yourself, that you render yourself useless for yourself, others or how should I put it? even a second occasion with the same person, god forbid. So yeah, i mean, you know, i went to nursing school and I got my degree and I was in a dilemma whether I wanted to go into midwifery, because I love delivering babies and I love babies and stuff, or do I want to just go to accident emergency, which was high action, i mean, that is like high octane, high adrenaline thing. And back home those days all senior nurses went in the ambulance with the drivers, the crew. So that was really amazing And actually it is odd that you would say it was all happening about the time that AIDS was happening in England and world around the world.
Speaker 2:And so, yeah, i mean there were patients that came in and there would not be. There was a lot of ambiguity about their diagnosis and they were perhaps in isolation unit or something. We didn't ask questions, we took the oath to care for the individual and we would just nurture them and care for them. However, if it was something that we, you know I mean I don't want to sound really grandiose about the whole thing, but you know, when I was, i was only about 13 when I wanted to go and meet Mother Teresa and and I, that was the thing And everybody said, oh no, no, no, no, no, girls don't go work in leper colonies and stuff. You know Why not? I mean, you know they need help too. So that was the kind of philosophy I had And I still have, and I would do it in a heartbeat.
Speaker 2:You know, if somebody needed my help And I knew that they had something that you know was not I don't know how to put it, perhaps it was contagious It would not stop me.
Speaker 1:Right, it would not stop me, so I you know, we used to end the show And we still do when we have episodes that are promoting a cause and bringing attention to something. We end the show with like compliments to one another, and what I will say is because you've been very complimented in this episode, so I will just pay this back to sort of like wrap this up. One thing I've always admired about you is that you do act like actionably care about people. I know a lot of folks who do care about people. You find ways to do things that care about, you know for the people you care about, or to care for people, and I don't just mean this in a way where it's like especially the fan presenting people with society.
Speaker 1:There's like an expectation. It's not that, like you, your profession has always been helping people. Anything you volunteer to do is like teaching art classes or assisting people. Anytime you do something, it is to better the folks around you, or whatever you're doing, you know naturally and organically betters the people around you, and so that's a compliment that I wanted to pay to you on this day. That, i think, is a really great way to piggyback off of sort of that last thing you said, which it is doing things to help people and not in a time that you're going to get a whole lot back. Necessarily It's not transactional, it's just that you care about people And I think that's great. So I want to thank you so much for joining us this week.
Speaker 3:It's over, that's it, and the show's over. The show's over.
Speaker 1:I'm so sorry. It's a tight podcast. We run a real tight ship here.
Speaker 3:I say, as we started 10 minutes late, Started 10 minutes late took 20 minutes to get into the actual podcast of the free stream, but you know.
Speaker 2:Well, that's all my fault, You can blame it on me Is weird. I have a suggestion, a suggestion, okay, i have a suggestion.
Speaker 3:This is some part of the podcast where we get feedback.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Very good, there's still some time for Christmas to come, so you guys can perhaps put together a briefcase for me with my laptop and my phone. Oh, you want a remote recording studio. I don't echo that.
Speaker 1:You want a voiceover booth. You want us to send you a voiceover booth.
Speaker 2:I see, Oh, I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm very, I'm very blessed that you guys can laugh with me.
Speaker 2:I am really thankful to God that we as a family are just so wacky. And you know, my niece sent me and I my niece knows which one it is I tried to do this without crying because it is just so beautiful. She, when, when she wants to pay, pay me an ultimate compliment, she'll say just stay weird. And you know, to me that is like such a high honor Because most people won't get what she means by that, because by being weird, i have achieved so much in my life and being able to give it to people, being able to receive it. And that was hand in hand. Because you can't just say I'm just a giver, i don't like receiving Right, if you cannot receive, you cannot open your heart to people, and if you cannot do that, you cannot be a good giver. You're not one of the. You know it's like okay, they're.
Speaker 2:They're gazillion examples of you know how to be a giver, But that compliment on this Mother's Day was just something. It was just so sweet and so adorable because the way I was, the way I have been and the way I continue to be truly is weird to a lot of people, Right, And to me it's not, it's just me. Take it or leave it. So I'm glad that you guys take it. I love you all so dearly and I love your dad the most. I mean without that man, No, seriously, seriously. I mean I'm not saying because it's Father's Day, It's my day and I can hog it all if I want to, But I'm giving you know the thing And Neville, Mr Neville, you still owe me Happy Mother's Day. Greeting.
Speaker 3:There was another segment I was prepared for and we didn't get to it. So Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 2:Excuse me, did you say something, delvin? I didn't hear you Wow.
Speaker 1:Oh, the shade.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, what is that apple? I love this. I have not met you and I cannot wait to meet you. I just have so much fun. I'm so happy, i'm so happy I'm so happy, i'm so happy, i'm so happy.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy, i'm so happy, i'm so happy, i'm so happy, i'm so happy, i'm so happy, i'm so much fun, i'm telling you.
Speaker 3:You're the best, mark, you're really the best.
Speaker 2:We'll make a huge cauldron of gumbo and just have a great time, you know.
Speaker 1:And we'll have a nice cauldron of hot orange juice.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It would be good. Yes, folks, this has been our show. Thank you so much for joining us. We want to give a quick shout out to our sponsors. The first sponsors Day, sequest, the TTRPG that stars Sandeep and me and some other folks that you will like. It's going to be awesome. It's coming out soon. If you want updates, go to DaySequestcom to sign up for that mailing list and you'll get up to the minute news about the show. Our other sponsors are you wonderful folks, our Patreons.
Speaker 1:And Sandeep usually sings a little song, but instead I'll be doing the honors, so I don't know what chord he actually plays, so I'm going to play my favorite to C slash G. The last people I'd like to thank are the Patreons who put money in our bank, which includes Joshua Ryan, tall, bm, carlo Wuzak, benjamin Low, hunter P Brown, miranda Hollinger, vaden, Michael Long, christina Romero, danny's Corner, raelyn Fox, lena B, nervous Rex, sarah H Grassy, santa Cruz, dotech, a Caplet, olly, olly, oxenfree, john Leang, little Bug. And the thing about this last guy he's got a gorgeous face, the sexiest man in Ohio. His name is the real Brandon Pace. The show is produced. Thank you, let's make that list even longer.
Speaker 1:The show is produced by D Aguilinau. The show's technical director and sound designer is now, canonically, mr Soundcheck Guy. The show's executive producers are Saadi Parikhidadan Shah. This is edited by Sean Meager. Our music is by Harshal Sassodia, josephio Singh and Malik Zavari. This has been an effing funny production. On behalf of me, omar, and our wonderful co-host, my mom, may your chakras be aligned and smothered in chutney.
Speaker 1:There, it is There it is There it is. Thank you so much for hanging out with us, Mom and guys. Some great comments about Princess and the Fog.
Speaker 3:People are in for Princess and the Fog Also. apparently, chad has cast me in the role of the Fog.
Speaker 1:There's no doubt about that. D-man says I have seen two bears on my drive home. All right, all right, it's two more than me, hey.
Speaker 2:Nobby's sending, nobby's sending questions this time. huh, our comments.
Speaker 1:No, we have some comments. This was amazing by Ginger Chris. Let's see here. Let me scroll up.
Speaker 3:The template says that you have them beat by two languages.
Speaker 1:A joke all in complimented your tension building, so congratulations on that. Linda said I love your, i love her commitment to this plot for Princess and the Fog. Hey, they did. Frozen Fog is just different weather. That's good, you're right, you're right. We all, totally, terry says. We all aspire to be Canadians now. So yeah, let's see. We'll see if any more pop up. Unfortunately we're not going to be. Are you running something after this? I?
Speaker 3:think I'm running anything after this, yeah.
Speaker 1:We'll wait till Sandeep joins us again for us to have some fun. And we'll make up for missing a week, for sure. But was that mom? Did you share with?
Speaker 2:Delvin that I had this idea of having Sandeep's mom and I in a team and you and Sandeep.
Speaker 1:Yeah a battle of the generations. Total generation off.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Whichever, whichever.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Yeah, it's going to happen. It's going to happen.
Speaker 2:We'll definitely get you both on a show which will be absolutely wild, I think it will be fun because, like I was saying after the first show, what I took away from it was how the synergy between you and me. I say things and you're already nodding. You know where this is going And that just was so beautiful And it always has been, and if people hear us argue, they'll say This is family.
Speaker 1:It's not the worst argument we've ever had. This is a very timid Costco sample of Yeah, no, seriously seriously.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, we've had fun.
Speaker 1:In regards to the battle of the generations, dodeca says please, please, please do. That Sounds amazing, oh my God, very good. So, folks, we'll wrap this out. We'll let you get back to your Sunday. Thank you again. So much for joining us And we'll be back with more Sandy next time. Have a wonderful week, everybody, and again, hop in discord, chat with us over there. And, mom, do you want to send a picture of your paintings? I'll post in the discord.
Speaker 2:Oh, i will One of these days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks, oh one of these days, all right. Well, everyone hang tight. It might or might not happen.
Speaker 3:It's something wrong with your list.
Speaker 1:Roll toss up.
Speaker 2:I'm in the King Reha so I get up on the wall. I have to get up on the ladder and get them down.
Speaker 1:I mean, you can just take a picture from afar. It's up to you, you're the artist.
Speaker 2:Actually, in fact, I'll do it and just send it to you before we have to do the show and stuff.
Speaker 1:There we go, so great. Well, all right, have a wonderful night Everyone. Have a wonderful week and we'll talk to you in a little bit. All right, thanks.