How you get a BILLION people to vote ~ Lok Sabha, Ms. Marvel, Bus-sized Snake - (A·B·C·D) Sn2 Ep4

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Episode Description:
Ever wonder what happens when the world's largest democracy holds an election or how a 50-foot snake can reshape our understanding of ancient life? That's where my co-host, Omar Najam, and I, Sandeep Parikh, step in, breaking down these enormous topics with equal parts humor and insight. We're not just talking politics and prehistoric predators; join us for a riveting conversation with Sabir Pirzada as we navigate the cultural labyrinth of Indian vs. American weddings and spotlight his thrilling projects in the comic realm.  

And as we celebrate our Desi of the week, Meena Alexander, we're reminded of the power of community and storytelling. From wedding banter to giant snakes, and navigating the unpredictable seas of the entertainment industry, this podcast is an eclectic mixtape of topics that promises to keep you engaged, entertained, and perhaps even enlightened.

Show Notes for the 36th Episode of ABCD:
Sandeep Parikh X: https://twitter.com/sandeepparikh
Sandeep Parikh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandeepparikh/
Omar Najam X: https://twitter.com/OmarNajam
Omar Najam Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omarnajamfilm/ 
DesiQuest: https://www.desiquest.com/
Sabir Pirzada Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sabirpirzada/
Ms. Marvel: Mutant Menace: https://www.marvel.com/comics/issue/115100/ms_marvel_mutant_menace_2024_1
Dandelion: https://www.amazon.com/Dandelion-Sabir-Pirzada/dp/153439754X

What's Got Us Confused #1:  How Does the election in India work?
https://www.cnbc.com/2024/04/18/india-elections-lok-sabha-polls-start-april-19-what-you-need-to-know.html

What's Got Us Confused #2: Huge Snake Fossil found - the size of a bus?! 
https://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/ancient-snake-india-longer-school-bus-weighed-ton-109385834

What's Got Us Confused #3: BJP is monopolizing India's helicopters?
https://www.reuters.com/world/india/helicopters-ads-indias-ruling-party-snaps-up-bulk-election-props-2024-04-18/  

Auntie vs. Auntie Watch: 2024
Nikki Haley: https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/nikki-haley-zombie-campaign-trump/ 
Kamala Harris: https://youtu.be/d_XCKpxsp5k?si=0rcFHh0vi4D52IZl

Desi of the Week: Meena Alexander
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meena_Alexander
https://doodles.google/doodle/celebrating-meena-alexander/ 
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/meena-alexander

Producer: Anand Shah & Kaylin Mahoney
Technical Director & Sound Designer: Delvan Neville 
Executive Producers: Sandeep Parikh & Anand Shah
Editors: Kaylin Mahoney & Anand Shah 

#msmarvel #comedyinterview #desi #abcd #indian #desiquest #ttrpg #ttrpgnews #desi #desioftheweek #tabletopgaming #ttrpginspiration #patreon #dnd #dndinspiration #dungeonsanddragons #nerd #nerds #nerdstuff  #chakra #chakras #chakrasystem

Transcript

Sandeep Parikh: 0:01

What? Oh me oh my. No way. Full house. Another full house. We did it, Omar. Another

Omar Najam: 0:10

full, another reboot of Full House. This is incredible.

Sandeep Parikh: 0:13

Another reboot of Full House coming at you live. Hey, I'd like to introduce my co host. He is, ladies and gentlemen, RFK's new running mate, Omar Najam. Here we go. So excited. I want to dip my toe in. I want to dip

Omar Najam: 0:30

my toe in.

Sandeep Parikh: 0:31

I think this is the move. I think it's a good move.

Omar Najam: 0:34

And folks, I want to introduce the host of this week's podcast. It is none other than the one man who is taking literally all of the helicopters in India. It's Sandeep Parikh. Oh, man. Ooh, baby. If you don't know that

Sandeep Parikh: 0:50

news story, you're gonna. You're gonna. You're gonna know. You're gonna hear all about it. Real soon on this episode. This is our show, ABCD. It's the American Born Chatty Desi's podcast. Yes, it is. As many of you know, at this point, it's a live stream. It's a podcast within a live stream. So we're live right now within our two lives as two American born Desis. It's a pod ducken. So this is for anyone out there who like us is navigating our cultural identities and just want to chat it out.

Omar Najam: 1:16

Yes. Yes. What are we chatting about today's in deep? Let me tell you. First, we're going to talk about some stuff that's got us confused. That's in the news. We're gonna figure that stuff out. We did a little bit of research. We're gonna, we're gonna find some, some information. Yeah, we did our own research. And by us, I mean, of course it was Kaylin. and then we're gonna talk about, what it's like to be, a brown creative, or really to do anything, that's straying slightly from the stereotypical path in our segment, "Not a Doctor". Then we're going to catch up on"Auntie vs Auntie Watch: 2024". Folks, it's heating up, not to spoil anything. Then we will play our ABCD game,"Mostly Real Election Stunts". And finally, we close it out with the "Desi of the Week". Ah, but first, we have some sponsors to thank. Do you mind if I run through our first sponsor real quick, Sandeep? I don't. I never will. Okay, our first sponsor happens to be DesiQuest. It's the Dungeons and Dragons 5e campaign that stars me and Sandeep, as well as Rekha Shankar, Anjali Bhimani, a collection of amazing guests, all set in an original South Asian mythology inspired world from the brilliant mind of Jasmine "ThatBronzeGirl" Bhullar, a truly fantastic GM. All the episodes are out right now, which means you can watch them. And if you want to watch the whole thing without ads, you can become a citizen of the DesiQuest world by signing up at patreon.com/DesiQuest. You can watch the whole thing ad free as well as every episode of our after show podcast, streams with our character artists, VoodooVal, and so much more. Again, check that out at patreon.com/DesiQuest.

Sandeep Parikh: 2:52

Do it. Well, hey our next sponsor is... it's you guys. It's you guys out there You guys are making this happen by going on to our patreon and subscribing and we so appreciate that. We just kickstarted the Effin Movie Club. And this is to aid in my research of, moviemaking as I embark, on my True mission to make a film. So that's happening and I want to bring you behind the scenes on how all that movie magic comes together all the highs and lows. Because there's gonna be plenty of those And so to do that to get involved you go over to patreon.com/effinfunny, E F F I N F U N N Y. I think I got that right. And join the, and join the movie club and get an insider's look at my directing process throughout my journey. Are

Omar Najam: 3:37

you gonna watch, Umbrellas of

Sandeep Parikh: 3:38

Cherbourg? At any point? Oh my gosh, I gotta write that down. I don't even know what that is, but I'll do it. Yeah, I gotta shit. I gotta get on top of that. We just watched Baghead, which is a really cool Mumblecore film from the Duplass brothers. It was very inspirational to see something that was created for such little cash, go to Sundance, do amazing things. You know, times are different now, but it was still very inspirational to see what you can do with a few resources and a little chutzpah. Yep. You know? Yep. So those are our sponsors again, that's patreon.com/effinfunny. Help us keep the lights on over here at ABCD.

Omar Najam: 4:15

Folks, we appreciate it so much. And to show appreciation, should we get into the show?

Sandeep Parikh: 4:21

Yeah. Oh yeah.

Omar Najam: 4:23

All right. Let's hop into "What's Got Us Confused". All right. For our first story, India is having its election right now. Did you know about this?

Sandeep Parikh: 4:35

Yeah, I did. Yep. Yeah, I've heard about it. It's huge. It's happening.

Omar Najam: 4:39

Story number two then. Just go ahead and hop over. Now I've got some fun facts I want to share with you about the Indian election and also talk about how the system works. Do you know how the Indian election goes? Do you know how it's all kind of like how they choose their leaders?

Sandeep Parikh: 4:52

I'm sorry. I said I've, I've heard about it. I don't know anything about it, but I have heard about it.

Omar Najam: 4:58

well, did you know that India's election is actually the largest democratic election in the world?

Sandeep Parikh: 5:04

I, that I do know because my dad constantly brags about how India is the biggest democracy in the world. Just like randomly, we'll be like, at a TGIFriday's and he'll just shout it out to the waiter for no reason. So that I know,

Omar Najam: 5:17

yep. Can I get y'all some $2 margs? You know what actually? Let me get you something, a little insight into democracy. Exactly. there are close to a billion voters that participate in the elections, in India and the way this works. is that votes fill in the seats of the lower house, which is called the Lok Sahba. I should look up how to pronounce that properly, but also once I do, I'll still mispronounce it. I'm going to be fully honest. but it is the lower house. It's the more powerful house of India's parliament. And that's Desided for the next five years. There are 543 seats up for grabs in each election. and your party or coalition needs 272 in order to win because the winning party gets to Deside who is in charge of the country.

Sandeep Parikh: 6:04

A Parliamentary Process.

Omar Najam: 6:07

Yes. Yeah,

Sandeep Parikh: 6:08

so it's not like our whole electoral college situation. This is you know, you're electing your local leaders. Yeah who then elect the prime minister Of the country.

Omar Najam: 6:19

You know what? Let me ask you really quick, cause I did a little bit of research about this before I kind of tell you, sort of like the main folks that are kind of in the running right now in terms of the parties, also like how long the election goes for and everything. Let me ask you a genuine question. Do you know how the electoral college works?

Sandeep Parikh: 6:38

I feel like I get taught every four years and remember then and then I immediately forget how it works. But yeah, very, very vaguely. I just know that we don't choose our, our electorates really, that they are essentially chosen by the parties.

Omar Najam: 6:54

yeah. Yeah, that's correct. And also the reason that you might be a little confused, too about like, you're just like, I have ambiguous thoughts about it is because it's pretty ambiguous. I looked up who can be an elector and it says you can't be a member of Congress. you cannot hold federal office, okay, that makes sense, and then you can't have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the United States or given aid or comfort to its enemies.

Sandeep Parikh: 7:21

That'll never come up. Like, that'll never, that's, that seems arcane. It's kind of a puppet position, right? Because in the end they're supposed to go with whoever wins the popular vote for that, that state, right?

Omar Najam: 7:33

Yeah.

Sandeep Parikh: 7:34

It's all or nothing.

Omar Najam: 7:34

Well. When you say supposed to, it's kind of like, there are many states where that is legally the requirement, but there are also states where that's not legally the requirement. And for those folks, our election is kind of a suggestion to the electors as to what to go for.

Sandeep Parikh: 7:50

Oh, cool.

Omar Najam: 7:51

Yeah, yeah. So that's not how it is

Sandeep Parikh: 7:55

in India.

Omar Najam: 7:56

But that's not how it is in India. In India, you are voting for, again, those seats. in the lower house. The election runs for, you know how we have an election here? How long does it last? How many weeks does our election last, Sandeep? Like, our voting process. How many weeks? We have a day

Sandeep Parikh: 8:11

to vote.

Omar Najam: 8:12

Oh, a day. That's right. We have

Sandeep Parikh: 8:13

one day. So we have one. So how many weeks? One seventh.

Omar Najam: 8:19

In India, the election runs from April 19th to June 1st. That's six weeks of voting. Also there is a rule. That's wild to me. There is a rule that there must be a polling station within two kilometers of every registered voter. Do you wanna know how many polling stations that is?

Sandeep Parikh: 8:37

Oh man, this is like one of those like Google interview questions. how many pennies could fit in this room? And you're like, oh, yeah, I can figure that out. Hold on. I don't know. Two, two million.

Omar Najam: 8:52

That's actually a pretty close guess. So that's pretty good. 2 million pennies could fit in this room. Welcome to Google. It's 1.05 million polling stations, which, then takes up 5.5 million electronic voting machines and this all requires 15 million staff and security overseeing the election.

Sandeep Parikh: 9:12

That's almost the amount of people that actually vote in the US election, 15 million

Omar Najam: 9:17

So anyhow, that is kind of a rundown of this election that's going on and, the election currently is essentially between these two, you know, parties, I don't think it's going to be super hard for you to remember these two parties, one is you keep it a secret, when you join a job and the other is the name of the country. So we've got the National Democratic Alliance, that's NDA. That's the

Sandeep Parikh: 9:38

BJP? I didn't know that.

Omar Najam: 9:40

Within, within, yeah, the NDA. And then you've got the Indian National Developmental Inclusive Alliance, which if you take the first letter from each of those it spells INDIA. INDIA was formed last year. Wait, I love that. Wait,

Sandeep Parikh: 9:53

the first letter is Indian?

Omar Najam: 9:55

Yes. This was formed, last year actually, with more than 40, opposition parties joining forces. So this election is not only super important, cause this is the largest democratic election. But also, really interesting in India's political history, because we are looking at a party that is an amalgamation of a ton of opposition parties that are going to be working together. so we'll be keeping an eye on this election, but for now, I do have my last question to you, which is, are you feeling informed, confused, or baffled?

Sandeep Parikh: 10:28

I'm definitely feeling more informed. I think, you know, the thing that I'm impressed by the whole six weeks. Like, yeah, if a billion people are going to vote and if you actually care about the voters and counting their votes, then you give it the time to, I mean, I don't know what the flip side of that is. Maybe the flip side is that it gives, it gives more time for corruption or something. I'm not sure, but it just seems to make sense to give people actual time to get to the polls and you know, instead of being like, it's Tuesday or bust.

Omar Najam: 10:54

How do you feel about India's electoral system versus

Sandeep Parikh: 10:56

ours?

Omar Najam: 10:58

I

Sandeep Parikh: 10:58

don't, I mean. I don't know. There's parts of it where it feels like it's probably a better system. I feel like this is a longer discussion to have USA or

Omar Najam: 11:07

India, just put your vote now and then your, your electoral college representative will actually do the Desision in the after show for you. Don't worry about it.

Sandeep Parikh: 11:17

Right. What about you?

Omar Najam: 11:19

I didn't know that much about Indian, democracy until, Kaylin did a ton of this research, to, sort of like inform us about how this all goes. I think it's, I think it's fascinating. So I'm feeling way more informed, about how the process goes. And I do have some follow up questions, which we can discuss in our post show.

Sandeep Parikh: 11:36

And if you have follow up questions, you can hit us in chat, you can hit us on, all of our socials. we'll be glad to answer those, or look up, or have Kaylin research the answers to those. Now moving on to story number two.

Omar Najam: 11:48

Okay, here we

Sandeep Parikh: 11:48

go. This I think, you know, obvious segue, there's been a huge snake fossil found and can you, can you guess... what, you know, mode of transportation that they are comparing this snake fossil to?

Omar Najam: 12:07

A snake fossil?

Sandeep Parikh: 12:09

Yeah.

Omar Najam: 12:10

And it's big. A snake

Sandeep Parikh: 12:11

fossil, fossils found near a coal mine in India revealed an ancient snake that stretched to 50 feet long.

Omar Najam: 12:16

50

Sandeep Parikh: 12:19

feet?

Omar Najam: 12:21

I'm gonna say like, okay, a canoe. A canoe. Let's say a canoe or a kayak.. Sandeep Parikh: Okay. Yeah. It's like, no, a bus. It's longer than a school bus. Okay. And it could have weighed up to 2200 pounds. No. Compared to this largest living snake today. Mm-Hmm., which is Asia's Reticulated Python. Mm-Hmm. at 33 feet, which is also horrifically long. Hold on. I'm sorry. Wait, what? What's, what's that snake called?

Sandeep Parikh: 12:50

It's called Asia's Reticulated Python. Okay. I don't know if Asia's in the title or if it's just like, it's in Asia.

Omar Najam: 12:59

No, it belongs to the band Asia. I'm looking it up right now. That's probably it.

Sandeep Parikh: 13:03

That makes sense. Anyway, so yeah, this one, which is 17 feet longer, this newly discovered behemoth lived 47 million years ago. So take a breath. It's not coming back anytime soon. We don't think. In western India's swampy evergreen forest and it does have a name. It's named Vasuki Indicus, after the mythical snake king Vasuki who wraps around the neck of the hindu deity Shiva. Which I didn't know like that is amazing to me because we had a shiva statue at our house and has the snake coming out of the head and around his neck. I didn't know that that snake had a name. That's so cool. so this snake is now named after that snake. and he was slow. Okay. Since he was huge, he can only kill via constriction. So he had to choke you out, I guess. Not, he didn't have like any sort of speed.

Omar Najam: 13:52

Thousands of pounds or something. You said

Sandeep Parikh: 13:55

2200 lbs. And so can you guess what animals were its common prey?

Omar Najam: 14:03

This sounds like Galactus as like a snake. I'm going to say elephants.

Sandeep Parikh: 14:10

Elephants isn't on the list, but that would make sense to me.

Omar Najam: 14:12

Okay. Rhinos.

Sandeep Parikh: 14:15

Rhinos not on the list. Am I thinking

Omar Najam: 14:18

too small? Like, is the answer the moon?

Sandeep Parikh: 14:21

So it goes catfish, turtles, crocodile. So you're not thinking too small, but then you are thinking too small because even primitive whales, this snake may have eaten whales. I don't know how they know that. You know, mostly lived in the wetlands. So I guess there were whales in the wetlands?

Omar Najam: 14:39

I mean, we have dolphins in the Ganges River, right? We've got the Sisu dolphins, so this is Right? Am I right in saying that those are the dolphins that are there?

Sandeep Parikh: 14:47

So maybe the whales

Omar Najam: 14:48

followed. Also, the whales historically, swam through the rivers in, New York City in the movie, in the documentary Avengers Endgame. So this makes sense.

Sandeep Parikh: 15:00

Imagine being Pinocchio and Geppetto inside the whale.

Omar Najam: 15:04

And then getting

Sandeep Parikh: 15:04

out of the whale, only to realize that you were inside of a snake.

Omar Najam: 15:09

Papa. Haha.

Sandeep Parikh: 15:11

Haha. Papa, where are we? Okay, now here's the scariest fact of all.

Omar Najam: 15:15

Oh, you haven't gotten to it yet? Oh, very good. Okay, please continue then. Snakes,

Sandeep Parikh: 15:19

as we know, are cold blooded. Yeah. We all took 8th grade biology. Meaning that they require higher temperatures to grow into larger sizes. Yes. So does that mean that global warming could bring back these monster sized snakes? In theory, it is possible. So we all were worried about, like, oh, melting ice caps or, you know, tidal waves or earthquakes. No, no, no. It's snakes on this motherfuckin plane.

Omar Najam: 15:48

On this jumbo jet. I can't believe that. I'm hesitant to say I'm informed. I am baffled. And the reason I'm baffled is because why haven't I heard about this until just now?

Sandeep Parikh: 16:01

Because you weren't listening to the ABCD podcast.

Omar Najam: 16:04

Oh, is this a show where this comes up on a weekly basis? You have a trend that's going. There's a herpetology trend that I'm very concerned as to what next episode's gonna bring.

Sandeep Parikh: 16:13

So if you had to rate the story informed, baffled, or confused, you are more baffled by this?

Omar Najam: 16:19

A hundred percent. I'm sorry, a magic school bus snake just roamed around and ate whales? Yeah, Sandeep. I'm a little baffled by this existence of this snake that I can't quite comprehend.

Sandeep Parikh: 16:31

And it's not snakes on a plane you have to worry about, it's planes in the snake.

Omar Najam: 16:35

Okay. Oh my god, are you ready for the last news story we're covering? Sandeep, you like helicopters?

Sandeep Parikh: 16:43

Oh my gosh, they're so fun.

Omar Najam: 16:45

Yeah? Yeah? My

Sandeep Parikh: 16:46

son is crazy about helicopters right now, so. Oh,

Omar Najam: 16:49

okay! Well, I got some bad news if you're going to India. Oh. Yeah, because India's Congress Party says it is struggling to find enough helicopters to ferry its leaders during the general election. according to helicopter experts, Modi's party, the BJP that you mentioned earlier, is hogging all of the country's helicopters. Chartered aircrafts are a critical part of Indian elections, and since national leaders need to attend multiple rallies per day in order to reach many of the 1.3 billion citizens and that nearly billion, citizen voter base, they require helicopters to get around. But the BJP has reserved the largest share of domestic private helicopters to fly its leaders all over the nation. So now they've actually had to change the way that elected, officials move about the country, and you have to let them know 24 hours in advance of where you're going and the details of the aircraft you'll be using. This has essentially become a giant rent a copter for the entire country of India.

Sandeep Parikh: 17:52

Interesting. It's like almost game respects game. I'm a little bit impressed, I guess, with the level of, I don't know if corruption is the right word or, or what, but it's certainly some, some level of, some gamesmanship here. It's almost like

Omar Najam: 18:05

opportunism. Yeah.

Sandeep Parikh: 18:06

Yeah, it's like, oh, the traveling basketball team is coming into your town. So let's like, make sure that all the practice, basketball courts are, happen to be, filled up.

Omar Najam: 18:17

Yeah. Oh, sorry. We're doing all the repairs at that time. We're actually renovating all the basketball courts at the time. It would be like if you're playing Slick move. Slick move. The popular, game "Ticket To Ride" with some friends and they go to lay down some train tracks to gain points. And there's a note from the manufacturer that goes, sorry, the person sitting across from you bought all the trains we have done for you to play with at this current time. But good luck. We really hope you enjoy this. It's wild. It's helicopters. Think about this now, how many helicopters are then in the air at any given moment. that, that are being flown in LA,

Sandeep Parikh: 18:53

like over us, like 17, it's nonstop.

Omar Najam: 19:01

It is absolutely bonkers to go after all the helicopters so much that an entire, political body has to say, okay, can we, can we pause and talk about the helicopters? I think that's absolutely amazing. so with this, are you feeling informed, baffled or confused?

Sandeep Parikh: 19:18

I think, informed. Yeah. I think this, this, this tracks. I'm not, I'm not confused by anything here. It's the ruling party figuring out how to manipulate the situation, you know, just like ever vigilant about ways that they can do to suppress the vote for the other side, you know.

Omar Najam: 19:32

Do you feel that this is. Propelling us towards democracy. Nice. Oh,

Sandeep Parikh: 19:40

that's a good pun.

Omar Najam: 19:41

Genuine question. Serious question about the democratic election. Do you think that this is propelling us? Oh, that's good.

Sandeep Parikh: 19:49

I hope it has a soft landing. I don't know. I don't, I don't know the helicopter terms,

Omar Najam: 20:00

but just wild. Imagine if you were like, I got to go somewhere. And they're just like, sorry, we're all out of helicopters. What do you mean we? Oh, India.

Sandeep Parikh: 20:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta take the take the bus. Oh, I'm sorry, that's been swallowed by a snake. And now up, next up is our interview segment, which we, where we search out far and wide to find any South Asian out there who has a cool job or career that, and you might want to sit down for this. Is "Not A Doctor".

Omar Najam: 20:32

Oh my goodness, this week we are interviewing television writer, comic book writer, and a very good friend of mine who actually not only got me into comic books, but took me to my first comic book convention. It is my very good friend, Sabir Pirzada. All right. Welcome to the show. Sabir Pirzada. Hello. Thanks for having me. you are a comic book writer. Is that correct?

Sandeep Parikh: 20:59

Yeah, it is correct. Yes.

Omar Najam: 21:00

and also we grew up together. yes. All before all of this stuff. so yeah, we wanna ask you just a couple questions. First of all, how did you get into writing comics to begin with?

Sabir Pirzada: 21:11

I got into writing comics, just kind of from reading comics. It was just, you know, Mm-Hmm. an obsession of lifelong passion of reading and collecting, you know, a superhero collection at first Marvel, then DC and then sort of following just writers and artists that I liked. And then eventually reaching the point where I had been experimenting with just prose fiction, writing short stories and things like that. And then from that organically, I grew into wanting to bring my stories from prose over into having them illustrated. And so I started looking for amateur artists online who could then, you know, bring the words into a panel format and then put together pitches for comic books to different publishers who accept that type of submissions. And then as luck would have it, I ended up getting one publishing deal with a publisher called Arcana comics by the time I graduated from college. And so that was the beginning of comics writing for me, even though it probably took another 10 to 15 years from that point. To actually write anything that anybody had actually read because, you know, that was a multi publisher. Took a long time for it to come out. It came out, nobody read it, you know. it really wasn't until my work with Marvel Studios on the TV side happened that it started to open more doors for me in comics. So, you know, yes, I'm a comics writer and a TV writer, but the two things kind of went hand in hand in that one of them opened the door for the other.

Sandeep Parikh: 22:28

I'm just like, how did your parents,

Omar Najam: 22:30

are you suffering with, like, how did they,

Sandeep Parikh: 22:33

how did you break the news?

Omar Najam: 22:35

That's a good question. Yeah.

Sandeep Parikh: 22:39

Yeah. Well, I'm so

Sabir Pirzada: 22:40

glad you asked because I'm glad that Omar is here because Omar was a big source of inspiration to me as a writer because Omar was the first writer that I knew. So a little bit about you, Omar, just to turn back on you is that you were this incredible playwright. Start at the bottom, writing your own original plays. And it was so eyeopening. And that was the first, you're the first person I met who was like, yeah, I just, I'm just writing for fun and realize like, Oh, you could do that. And then realizing later that people can make a career out of that. Like that was such an important part of my journey as a writer is to see all that you had accomplished and were accomplishing in your life. So that was sort of the gateway to that. In terms of how I broke the news to my parents. It was gradual. It was sort of like, you know, the, the hobby became the passion became the obsession. The thing that I was going to do on the side while I was going to become a psychiatrist and then, you know, slowly that turned into i'll just become a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. just that was more just based on my interest in, in, you know, mental health and where that journey was taking me. And then it was, okay, I majored in psychology, but now I don't want to pursue graduate school in psychology. I want to just go become a writer, and move to Los Angeles. And the only reason that was a smooth process as it was, is because I had one uncle who lived in Los Angeles, who worked at Disney at the time, right? He wasn't on the creative side. He was on the marketing side, but the idea that you could have a job in the entertainment industry was something that was known to us because of this one uncle. And so that made the process a little bit smoother.

Sandeep Parikh: 24:01

Did he actually hook you up? Like, did you get any, he hooked me up with a couple of like

Sabir Pirzada: 24:06

informational meetings with, you know, writers, and, and producers. And, you know, my first time on the Disney lot was through a drive on that he had set when he was there. So, so yes, no, I do, I do owe him a tremendous amount, but it was one of those things where it's like, when you get there, you take these meetings, you know, you're there to absorb information and, you know, take all the advice you can get. But fundamentally, nobody can help you if you haven't written any scripts, if you haven't, you know, put the time in, you know, potentially as to, to get the skills you need to be an assistant and work, work your way up the ladder for those who choose to follow that path. And so that was the long, that was the beginning of a long road for me. And so it was almost like those meetings that my uncle had set for me were kind of premature in that sense. And that I couldn't really take full advantage of them because I was meeting people who couldn't really help me because I had nothing to share with them yet. You know, so interesting. Yeah, that's a great

Sandeep Parikh: 24:54

point. That's a great point. Cause, cause I get, I get, I'm at that stage now where I'm probably the uncle, and I have those meetings, right? And I'm just like, yeah, no, I think that's, that this may be too early of a meeting. It's good to meet you, but let's just meet each other like as humans and then, you know, build up some skills and then meet each other again. That makes, it's a good way to,

Sabir Pirzada: 25:19

or as I would say, I'll see you in another life, brother. And some of them would get it, but most of them wouldn't.

Omar Najam: 25:26

I want to ask about your journey in TV as well, but not to make it such a journey specific thing. So I'm gonna start with this question. What for you was the first time, what was the first moment that you felt like you could hit up your parents and be like, "See, this is real". And I know your parents, your family is my family. So this is like, I don't mean it in terms of like, you'd have to prove it. But like, you know how like, there's like always a moment. Well, you get to be like, there's a billboard or at this or like, I told you, I promised you, I said that it's like, this would deliver on some level, you can put this in the WhatsApp group. I think that's the moment. What was the WhatsApp group moment where you felt like your parents could take the screenshot and send that?

Sabir Pirzada: 26:05

I mean, it was, it was It was probably the first time I saw my name credited on a television show, which was "Person of Interest", you know. and so what a lot of broadcast shows have is something called discretionary credits, which means that you can work on an entire season of a TV show, but your name is actually only going to show up once. On one episode, because you're sharing that space with all the other people who are working on this show, who are in that same sort of category. So I didn't know, they don't give you a heads up when it happens. You're just watching TV. And then all of a sudden you see your name pop up at the end, you know, when they're showing a preview for the next episode or whatever it is, and it just so happened to be whatever it was. I can't remember now, probably like 13 or 12 episodes into the season. I was like, whoa, that was my name. There we go. And then I, you know, I told my parents to kind of keep an eye out for it on their DVR, And so, yeah, that was, that was where it kind of felt real for, for me to be able to share with them to say, see, it's a real thing now because it was on TV.

Omar Najam: 26:59

That's so great. I've actually bumped into people at, conventions, at Big Bad Con, two years ago where I had folks, make the connection because it's a Bay area convention and we grew up in the Bay area where, they've been like, Oh my God, do you know Sabir? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know Sabir. And then they'll talk about how your career has been an argument for them. in, you know, like South Asian communities to have that conversation of like, no, I can pursue creativity.

Sabir Pirzada: 27:24

That's amazing. I mean, look, the thing that people don't really like to talk about is the money part of it. Right. Which is like the typical advice we're given is that there isn't much money in this career. So go do something that is a stable job that you know is going to, you know, provide for you and your family for the rest of your life, which is sound advice, you know, but that was the eyeopening thing for me, which is when I became a writer's assistant on a TV show. And I saw these writers and they all drove nice cars. They all had nice homes. Like this was very eyeopening for me to realize that, no, this is a career that pays well for those who can get those jobs and getting the job is hard when you have the job, and holding onto the job is hard because shows get canceled all the time. So the stability isn't there, but the money is there. If you can, if you can get those jobs and that's an important thing that we need to tell people in our, in our communities and in our culture, to open their eyes to the fact that like, this is a legitimate career. You just have to kind of swallow the pill of like the ups and downs of the industry, which is easier said than done. But that's like a lot of things that's not exclusive to entertainment, I would say.

Sandeep Parikh: 28:24

Yeah,

Omar Najam: 28:25

yeah,

Sandeep Parikh: 28:25

Where do you think it's going then because I wonder about the stability of that middle class writer lifestyle that I see eroding kind of before our very eyes. I think that even three years ago I would have felt more confident in giving the people that advice and truly I feel less so. So I'm just curious where your head's at? With

Sabir Pirzada: 28:45

that. Yeah, I mean, what I would say is thank God for unions, right? I mean, the WGA minimums that we have negotiated. are things such that if you get one episode, it's something that you can kind of live on for a while and it, you know, earns you enough at least for a one hour drama's worth amount. If you're able to get that, like, that pays for your healthcare and your family's healthcare for a year, you know, so. It's, it's one of those things where it's like you have to accept the risk of like there's going to be long periods where you're not going to have work and you're going to need to prepare for that time and plan accordingly with your savings, you know? but one of the things I love about the industry is that like everyone, everyone at every time is always still looking for the next big script or the next big pitch, whatever that is. It's like that idea that they think is going to make them a lot of money. and so some of that is identifying the trends, whatever they are. I would encourage people to never lose hope, no matter how hard it gets. Do some homework. This is an industry, like, and the industry is changing rapidly, but it's not going away. People are always going to be making television, they're always going to be making films, they're always going to be making comics. So, somebody has that job, there's no reason it can't be you.

Omar Najam: 29:51

Wow, that's really good. Man, you're inspiring me, and I'm in the industry.

Sandeep Parikh: 29:57

Was there ever a time where you were kind of ready to give up? Was there ever a time where you had to pull yourself back up by your bootstraps, so to speak? Take us into that moment, because I feel like we never hear those.

Sabir Pirzada: 30:07

Sure. There have been a few. I mean. Probably the roughest time for me was when I felt like I was on track to get promoted, right? To staff writer on a hit show at the time. It was Person of Interest, right? The CBS show that at some point was doing 22, 23 episodes a season. It was on primetime, right? Like, and then, you know, all of a sudden we hit this magic episode 100, you know, category where all of a sudden if a show is owned by a different studio than the network it airs on it actually becomes very expensive to continue to produce it... and all of a sudden we got a shortened order. The show was very likely not to continue, you know.

Sandeep Parikh: 30:45

At the time you were not a staff writer? You were a like... I was a writer's assistant.

Sabir Pirzada: 30:50

Yeah, I had written one episode of season four and then I was, I was given another episode of season five. So I was actually supposed to get promoted to season staff writer season five, but because of the, the, the smaller budget, there just wasn't room in the budget to promote me or the other writers assistant. So we were lucky that we've still got another freelance episode that we could write and kind of walk away with that. But. But it was a scary time because it was the same time that my agent at ICM had dropped me at the time. The same week that I had just gotten engaged to be married. And so now I had to explain to my fiance that like, Oh, I think I just got definitive confirmation that our show is not coming back. And my agent just dropped me, you know, like all of a sudden, my fortunes had, had, dramatically reversed. How good was your relationship at that moment? She's, she was a really good sport about sticking with me through, through that tough time. And I actually owe her a lot of it. She, she literally was marrying an unemployed writer. That's what happened is, you know, that show ended, I did not have a job, you know, and I had to learn the hard lesson that a lot of people have to learn when they do get dropped by an agent or their show gets canceled. It's is that you have to worry about the career, not the job. If you put all your hopes and dreams into the one job, your hopes and dreams are going to get crushed. Every TV job ends at some point. Or very few. Like, you know, continue on forever. You know, you could count those on one hand. so expect that it's going to end. At some point, At some point, someone may lose faith in you, and that's okay. Like, you have to have every faith in yourself. Like, this is an industry where, you know, everyone's going to say no to you at some point. It's kind of only about the three yeses you need out of the, compared to the 97 no's. So, you know, got to buckle down, work hard, reinvent yourself and, and put all that ambition that you had to begin with, like back into a new script. You're, you're a better writer usually now than you've ever been before. and so, you know, sometimes it's it's a game of patience. But constantly making sure that you're doing things in the meantime that are going to open up new avenues for you.

Omar Najam: 32:41

That is so incredible. And with those avenues, you've worked on some stuff that's kind of, especially for the topics of this show, like, changed the world. You've written on many iterations of Ms. Marvel. And, I believe episode two was, I think, like, the first time I think I've seen, and I'm biased because we got to work on that show together, but, that we got to see, like, Eid on television. Like on a American mass media. And it was like proper, like just all the people hanging out and there's all the politics of like what happens at like all the parties and stuff like that. The IlluMeena Aunties and everything. Different subgroups that you find at the, at the local malls. That was like one

Sabir Pirzada: 33:19

of the most fun sequences that we got to break in the writer's room. Yeah.

Omar Najam: 33:23

Featuring friend of the podcast, Anjali Bhimani. So, how has that been for you? You know, going from someone who started, you know, going to comic book conventions, we saw very little representation for us, and we were XMen kids growing up, so in all fairness, the general idea of diversity, the general idea of opportunity was out there through comics, but now to definitively get to guide a prominent Muslim voice in In comics and television, how does that feel?

Sabir Pirzada: 33:49

I mean, look, it's been a humbling experience from the beginning. I've been a fan of this character of Kamala Khan from the time that she debuted. I went to the store that Wednesday morning, I bought three copies of the very first print. You know, I was all about this character and really was, I think it was a second issue where I realized that to me, she was the new Peter Parker, in my life. She had this sort of relatability to her, and that I had lived all of these, all these conversations she was having with her parents and with her brother. I felt like I had those with my sisters and with my parents, you know, and so I felt very grateful that this character existed and was in my life and was something I could just, you know, go to the comic store and read the next adventures of her every month for years, you know, until the show came around. And then all of a sudden I felt. This tremendous sense of responsibility of sort of, you know, safeguarding this character as we were bringing the adaptation to life from comics to the screen. And so when the time we started, you know, there was no, we didn't know who Iman Vellani was. We hadn't casted it yet. So it was a lot of, you know, conversations about just in our minds. Okay. How do we translate the tone of this and the feel of this and the characters that we love so much? To fit within the MCU and make it fit within, you know, the six episodes that we were told was going, was going to be the show. and you know, the, the reassuring part of it was that I wasn't alone, right? Like I was one writer who had this Pakistani American Muslim background, but I wasn't the only one. Fatimah Asghar was there, you know, Ayesha Puri was there. Bisha K. Ali was the head writer.

Sandeep Parikh: 35:14

There was more than one. Oh gosh. This was the second time in my career that I

Sabir Pirzada: 35:22

got to be a, be in a writer's room with other South Asian, writers with my background. The first time was on, on Roswell, New Mexico, which was also a treasured experience to have writing television. So the fact that that has happened to me multiple times in my career is not something I imagined, earlier on, but, but it does happen every so often. And, and it's, it's tremendously helpful because then you can argue with each other and say, well, my experience was like this. Well, well, mine was like this.

Sandeep Parikh: 35:45

I love that because I always have the nerves when I'm the only one in the room where it's like, wait, like, I'm not sure if we all did this. Like, I don't know if it's just specific to my, you know what I mean? And then all of a sudden this is representational for everybody. And then you get a bunch of flack for like, what is this guy talking about?

Omar Najam: 36:00

Or, or even the flip side of that, like in, not to ruin anything, but like, our producer Anand was like, we got to do a Taco Bell episode at some point. Indian families love Taco Bell. And I was like, that wasn't just us. That was a cultural activity I was doing at the time. I didn't realize like my parents love Taco Bell.

Sandeep Parikh: 36:21

That's actually the one thing we all do have in common.

Omar Najam: 36:29

That is amazing. We want to bother you about writing all the time and have you essentially do a TED Talk for us, Sabir, but we do have a game for you that we're going to toss you into. Because, it's one thing to represent the South Asian experience. It's another thing to represent the American experience, but when you have to do both, there's a little bit of navigating we do. And so we're going to force you to choose. We're going to, we're going to force you to the most black and white thinking possible, with a little game called "This Versus That". And then after that, we're going to ask where folks can find all your stuff. And also what you're working on right now and where people can purchase some books that you've got out there in the world. But before then, Sandeep, you wanna run Sabir through a little, "This Versus That"? Alright.

Sandeep Parikh: 37:09

So I'm going to give you a this versus that, and then I'm going to tell you that we've done this on the show before and had the audience also vote, so we're going to compare your answers to what the audience said. Okay? So there are wrong answers here. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. No, but truly, what's your opinion here? Chai versus coffee. Start off with an easy one. I go Chai every time. Okay, that is obviously the correct answer. well done, well done. Ding, ding, ding. Ready? Okay. Let's go American wedding versus Desi weddings.

Sabir Pirzada: 37:47

I mean, look, the line does blur sometimes, but I go with Desi every time. Desi weddings are a lot of fun. They're a lot of work, but, you know, I think there's no other way to party.

Omar Najam: 37:59

It's strange showing up to a wedding where you haven't had to like put out the tables or the giant fans or set up the tent. Like it's just a strange experience for me. Like just going and I'm just like, this is a trap.

Sandeep Parikh: 38:12

I go to my American friends weddings, and I'm like give me a job. Yeah.

Omar Najam: 38:15

Yeah,

Sandeep Parikh: 38:15

right. I'll sweep like what do you need? I need to do

Omar Najam: 38:19

let me bus this table. We have someone doing that. Well. He's doing a bad job

Sandeep Parikh: 38:25

I guess the most popular version. I'm seeing now though is the like Taking the American or like the length of an American ceremony

Omar Najam: 38:33

and

Sandeep Parikh: 38:34

putting it in the trappings of a Desi celebration. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the new, the new thing. all right. We got two more for you. Let's go. This is gonna be interesting one, Bollywood/Tollywood versus Hollywood.

Sabir Pirzada: 38:50

Oh, I think I have to go Hollywood cause it's, it's my industry. And so it's what's feeding you

Sandeep Parikh: 38:56

right now.

Omar Najam: 38:56

He felt the heat rise in the room.

Sandeep Parikh: 39:00

Alright, here's the, here's the final one. This'll be interesting. I don't know if you're a practicing Muslim, I am indeed. You are? Okay. So this'll be an interesting thing. Polytheism versus monotheism. In some ways, the Avengers is kind of polytheism. Okay. I'm just saying, if you're going to remove polytheism, you're basically taking the Avengers out of the equation. You're saying Superman over.

Sabir Pirzada: 39:30

I feel like any answer I give, I'm like starting a war or something.

Sandeep Parikh: 39:36

I know, it's a tough time, it's a

Omar Najam: 39:37

tough time. We, I can't

Sandeep Parikh: 39:39

believe

Omar Najam: 39:39

we had people vote on this. Like, I can't believe we legitimately had people vote.

Sabir Pirzada: 39:44

I feel like I'm being struck down, you know, by, by the one or by the many. It's scary,

Sandeep Parikh: 39:51

because what if you're wrong? Yeah, okay. I'll let you slide with the pleading the fifth. Polytheism was the answer that was chosen. I'm gonna give you a fifth one though. More of a, more of a down the middle. ketchup versus chutney. Maybe actually just as polarizing in some ways.

Sabir Pirzada: 40:05

This is the hardest one yet. This is harder than the previous question.

Omar Najam: 40:09

My mom is mad at Sandeep for his answer. And keep in mind, my mom doesn't remember what you said.

Sabir Pirzada: 40:17

This is like the Alien vs. Predator of I think I gotta go with Chutney on this one. I know that's a tough one.

Sandeep Parikh: 40:29

Chutney was also the audience's answer. Ketchup was my answer, yeah. Crazily enough. I can't believe it.

Omar Najam: 40:37

Mr. Audience! absolutely incredible. Well, thank you for speaking for the people, Sabir. I know that we said that the goal of a writer's room is to spread the experience, but I think you're kind of doing it with one solo voice. Well, since you've now won over... Happy to be the "down the middle" answer.

Sabir Pirzada: 40:53

As the audience turns on me now.

Omar Najam: 40:55

C's get degrees. yeah. Since the audience, before the audience turns on you, while the audience is still basking in the fact that they finally see themselves represented in media through you, and your opinions, can you tell the wonderful folks at home where they can find you and maybe, what you've got on the shelves right now or what to check out?

Sabir Pirzada: 41:11

Well, online you can just find me on my Instagram handle, which is just my name, @SabirPirzada. in terms of what I've got coming out right now, I currently am co writing Ms. Marvel Mutant Menace with Iman Vellani, so Ms. Marvel herself, who is a fantastic writer. It's been such a privilege to co-write that with her. Issue 3 comes out on May 15th, I think, which is next week. and then I have an original graphic novel with Image Comics called Dandelion, which comes out on Wednesday, June 19th. And a couple of other things with Marvel Comics that I can't talk about yet, but they'll be announced soon.

Sandeep Parikh: 41:44

On the way out, as we say goodbye to you, to new writers out there, is there a saying, a mantra, something that you, you know, you wake up in the morning and.

Sabir Pirzada: 41:53

sure, it's kinda dark. I mean, basically, what I tell myself is, stupider individuals than myself have gone further than I have. So, why not me? And that's, that's kinda the, the inspiration.

Omar Najam: 42:06

I love it. It's huge. Earlier in the episode, we were talking about what's going to be our merch and I wonder if we can possibly commission that from you. No commission. That's all right. It's all yours. Thank you so much for joining us, Sabir. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thanks for having me.

Sandeep Parikh: 42:24

Lovely

Omar Najam: 42:24

interview.

Sandeep Parikh: 42:25

And we are back now just in time for.

Auntie vs Auntie Watch: 42:29

2024. Ooh. That's right. It's our segment where we track the 2024 US presidential election to see just how close we are to achieving a presidential race between Democratic Auntie Kamala Harris and Republican Auntie Nikki Haley. Reminder that they are both, at least, part Indian, hence that they're aunties. And that, you know, "The Don" is facing a million indictments, and Joe is, you know, old. so, you know, unlikely, at this point, but still, totally possible. Okay, at least we say so, to the tune of 11%, that's where we were at last time.

Omar Najam: 43:07

11%, and if you're just like, 11 percent of what, we'll get to that at the end, maybe. But, yeah. You know, we started this segment kind of out of pure curiosity, and with an intention to stay, aware of politics and South Asian representation here in the United States of America. Okay. And to manifest this reality, we started this watch, right? We started this watch, right? Okay. I want to give you an update about Nikki Haley, cause here's the thing. The nation.com says Nikki Haley has a zombie campaign running right now and is picking up traction. Sounds a little bit, to me, like the rest of the world is catching

up to Auntie vs Auntie Watch: 43:46

2024.

Sandeep Parikh: 43:49

They're listening to this segment! I think we are

Omar Najam: 43:53

owed. I think we are owed. so they steal from us, I'm gonna steal from them. Here's some facts from the article. since she stopped campaigning, Haley has piled up close to a million votes, bringing her primary season total to over 4.1 million. That's more than 20 percent of all the ballots cast in the GOP primaries and caucuses this year. Even though she's been called a zombie candidate, Haley continues to run up strikingly high vote totals and percentages, and states that Trump has to win if he is to be the Republican nominee in November. So, what do you think of this? I mean, I got some numbers to throw your way. I got some battleground states to throw your way, but the press itself is calling this a zombie campaign, Sandeep.

Sandeep Parikh: 44:33

This is great. I'm pumped. I wonder if it's just aunties getting out the vote themselves. Yes. Like, you know, they're in the temple kitchens and they're just going like, let's go, let's get out there. We gotta show up. That would be amazing. What are the numbers you got? Ok.

Omar Najam: 44:49

in Pennsylvania, Haley won almost 158000 votes at 16.5 percent of the total in a state that Trump lost by over 80000 in 2020 and won by about 44000 in 2016. And it's also gone very similarly in Wisconsin and Michigan, which are both, as you know from following elections, those are battleground states. Those are important states right there.

Sandeep Parikh: 45:16

The Rust Belt. Yeah, it's crazy.

Omar Najam: 45:18

That's wild.

Sandeep Parikh: 45:19

So, I mean, I guess the idea is that, hey, these are Republican votes that may not go to Trump.

Omar Najam: 45:24

It's not necessarily saying that like, well, Haley's picking up some steam. It's that Haley's had steam this whole time. We're just hearing the toot toot of that train of Auntie vs Auntie Watch: 2024, with which we owe, we're owed full credit. So that's the update on Nikki Haley. How, how is it sounding on the other side of things?

Sandeep Parikh: 45:40

Okay. Let me tell you about Harris and why I think we should add some percentages here. Mamala. Mamala. The term "Mamala"..

Omar Najam: 45:50

You mean Kamala?

Sandeep Parikh: 45:53

No, Mamala. The term Mamala is, is making the news. So last week, Harris guested on Drew Barrymore's talk show. During her interview, Harris shared that her husband's kids call her Mamala. And then after the show aired,"what does Mamala mean?" in quotes, spiked that search term, okay. Spiked on Google 4400% and Mamala alone spiked 2450% in the US. So this is huge."What does mamala mean?" was Googled most by an overwhelmingly large margin by folks in Arkansas. That's traditionally a red state and they're all wondering... what is Mamala about? Okay. People are thinking about her. There's some energy flowing her way, you know, I'm just saying this is really indirectly booster for Auntie vs Auntie Watch.

Omar Najam: 46:49

What are we, two questions. Where do we stand then on Auntie vs Auntie Watch: 2024? What percentage are we at? We're at 11%.

Sandeep Parikh: 46:57

11 percent chance

Omar Najam: 46:59

of it happening. Okay, good. Are we feeling like it's going up, the percent, the chance of this is going up? Are we increasing in the possibility of Auntie vs Auntie Watch 2024 or are we going down?

Sandeep Parikh: 47:08

I'm voting yes. I'm going plus two.

Omar Najam: 47:12

Plus two, so, okay. For my side. for your side, I'm giving another plus two for my side.

Sandeep Parikh: 47:18

Okay. We're at 15%. We're at 15%. You heard it here first. Okay. Listen, all you zombie voters out there. Let's rock that vote.

Omar Najam: 47:28

All right, well that wraps us out for Auntie vs Auntie Watch: 2024.

Sandeep Parikh: 47:33

Now it's time to play."Mostly Real Election Stunts". It's our ABCD game. I bet you can't guess what this one's about you guys. It's right in the title.

Omar Najam: 47:45

Each question contains two truths and one lie about things real life politicians and political candidates have done in the past to try to get elected. Sandeep and I will need to correctly identify which of them is completely made up outta the three choices each time, Sandeep and/or I guess correctly, we will earn one point.

Sandeep Parikh: 48:05

Yes, and the winner, per usual, will be the host of the next episode as, as I am, so that you know, I mean, I'm obviously a reigning champ over here. The loser is gonna have a minute to announce their own never before used election tactic in their campaign to become everybody's favorite elected position, the district commissioner. Mm hmm. You're gonna need to know this cuz you're probably gonna lose

Omar Najam: 48:27

I think you're gonna need to know this. Wow! Because this week I'm taking it. Fighting words. Because I've already bribed a couple people including the one who's gonna be running this game. Take it away Delvan.

Delvan Neville: 48:38

Yeah. Thank you Omar, by the way. It was very sweet of you. I appreciated it. We're still enjoying it. Anyways, onto the game. What did he bribe you with? We can't get into it. We can't get into it. We can talk about it later. This is a tight podcast. We run a tight ship. We can't do it on air. We can't do it on air. We gotta stick the time. Sorry. Sorry. We'll get into it later. Okay, so first up, which of the following election stunts is completely made up? Okay. Okay. Okay. A) Leftovers. A 17th century English politician publicly ate the leftovers off King Charles II's plate to demonstrate his loyalty to the crown. B) Immortality. A Russian candidate once promised voters immortality if elected, proposing to fund scientific research towards eternal life, or C) Hologram. In Spain, a party leader used holograms of himself to appear at rallies simultaneously in multiple cities.

Sandeep Parikh: 49:32

That's, see, if someone's stealing his choppers, he's, he's okay, he's using holograms, that's smart, that's, that's thinking ahead. Okay, so, the immortality one, did you say? Like where that happened or anything like that. It was russia the

Delvan Neville: 49:49

candidate was russian. I didn't say where they were running... okay... it's probably implied by that that perhaps they were running in russia.

Omar Najam: 49:54

Okay. Got it. Gotta get it I think promising immortality is pretty standard. I'm gonna actually go, believe it or not, with the leftovers. Omar is saying

Delvan Neville: 50:03

leftovers. Yeah,

Omar Najam: 50:04

eating leftovers. I don't think it's a very strong argument to say, "I'm the best." The king's leftovers?

Sandeep Parikh: 50:11

Okay, I'm gonna go with, that's actually what I wanted to go with, but for the sake of trying to score a point. Mm-Hmm.. I'm gonna go with immortality.'cause I feel like holograms is legit.

Delvan Neville: 50:22

The

Sandeep Parikh: 50:22

fake one is...

Omar Najam: 50:22

Mm-Hmm. is Mm-Hmm.

Delvan Neville: 50:25

Leftovers is indeed the fake one.

Sandeep Parikh: 50:29

Should have stuck with my instincts. Snoozers are losers. Point for Omar. It was leftovers.. Oh my God. Thank you for keeping it competitive Sandeep Dammit.

Delvan Neville: 50:42

Which of the following campaign tactics has never happened?

Omar Najam: 50:46

Okay.

Delvan Neville: 50:46

A) Musical trucks. In Japan, it's common to use campaign trucks blaring theme songs and political messages. B) Giant Monopoly. A candidate in Brazil transformed an entire beach into a giant game of Monopoly to criticize political corruption. Each square highlighted scandals or issues with "Jail", which is written in quotes, I hope you can hear my spoken quotes when I say "Jail" being a stop for corrupt politicians. Or C) Kidnapping. A Philippine candidate arranged his own kidnapping, "escaping", again, you can hear the quotes, right before election day to frame his opponents and make himself appear dangerous to the party in power.

Sandeep Parikh: 51:32

That's amazing. oh my gosh. Only one of these is fake?

Delvan Neville: 51:39

Only one of these is fake, two of these have happened.

Omar Najam: 51:43

I'm... okay... I'm saying I'm saying it's the music trucks. I need the other two to be real.

Sandeep Parikh: 51:52

I know, that's how I feel too. The music trucks is like, feels so real. I think I think the music is Music trucks. Okay. I'm gonna just again.

Sabir Pirzada: 52:03

Mm

Sandeep Parikh: 52:04

hmm. Go against my own instincts and say that... the Monopoly is... no, that's too specific. It's gotta be the... fine. It's, it's I'm gonna say Monopoly.

Delvan Neville: 52:18

No. Okay, we have Musical Trucks and Monopoly, and as it happens... you're joking. You're both wrong. Kidnapping is the one that we made up. Yes, Musical Trucks and Giant Monopoly have both occurred.

Sandeep Parikh: 52:31

My thought was that the Monopoly was so creative that I was like, "Oh, Kaylin probably came up with that one."

Omar Najam: 52:36

Is this game called"Things That Haven't Happened Yet?" Cause that's a great idea.

Delvan Neville: 52:40

Alright, going into round three, the score is currently one to zero. You have a tiebreaker on deck if you manage to tie this up Sandeep. This one takes it though. You are still in it. This one takes it. If you win it, you take it. But if it ties up, we have a tiebreaker. I got it. Don't even worry about it. I got

Omar Najam: 52:54

this one. I got this one. Yeah.

Delvan Neville: 52:58

Which of the following things couldn't possibly be true?

Omar Najam: 53:02

I might not.

Delvan Neville: 53:03

A) Gator Fight. In his bid for governor of Tennessee, a candidate wrestled a live alligator to demonstrate his tenacity. B) Stool Guy. Facing criticism for his age, Norway's oldest Prime Minister candidate at 84 years old, used results from a stool sample to assure voters of his good health. Or C) Chair Debate. During a gubernatorial debate in Oregon, a candidate debated an empty chair after his opponent refused to participate. One of these is false.

Sandeep Parikh: 53:41

I'll let you go first again because I have to choose different than you anyway.

Omar Najam: 53:45

I think, I think the chair one is fake. I think the chair one is based off of a Clint Eastwood story. I don't think he was a candidate. I think he just yelled at a chair.

Sandeep Parikh: 53:56

That was during the RNC. He did, he did do that. I'm gonna go with the, oh god, I'm gonna go with the gator wrestling.

Delvan Neville: 54:06

The actual fake story here is No! Damn it! It's the stool guy. Sorry Sandeep. That was your chance to tie it up. Omar with finding a single correct answer is our victor. Congratulations Omar, you will be the host on the next episode. Sandeep, you now need to deliver your never before used election tactic for your campaign to become district commissioner.

Sandeep Parikh: 54:34

All right, the American people, you guys deserve a, a district commissioner that, can commission the district. I mean, we all know what we do, we, commission all sorts of, things for the district and, so for that, you know, I'd like to, like to, I'd like to rock the vote. So you've heard that, that slogan before. By bringing back stoning. So what I've done for you all is, I've put rocks in all of your, in all your mailboxes, with my, campaign slogan on it, which is, Let's Get Stoned 2024. So I think, you, you guys know, we need to, bring back more, corporal punishment into our society to keep people, in check in order for this district to be commissioned properly. Please find your, hand painted stones, in all your mailboxes. Me and my family, we, my, my daughter, my daughter, Charlisa, six years old, painted all these stones with me. I'm a family man, obviously. So, i hope you enjoy we bedazzled many of them. And, yeah, go out, go out there and go ahead and, you know, stone anybody that did you wrong. Thank you. Benjamin,

Omar Najam: 55:54

Benjamin Lowe from the Guardian. Hi. Do you mind if I ask a quick question? Absolutely. How big are these stones?

Sandeep Parikh: 56:02

Oh, they're just, you know, kind of, like, gumball size. They're not, you know, They're not, they're not too dangerous. It's like a gentle pelting. you know, we're not, we're not trying to, trying to, not trying to kill people. Just, you know, put them in their place. Thanks.

Omar Najam: 56:17

Hey, how's it going? KB Doves from New York Times. Quick question, why don't you go with gumballs instead, as like a gumball campaign?

Sandeep Parikh: 56:26

That's a great question, you know, gumballs in this economy? Are you kidding me? gumballs, highly expensive, mostly made in China. Wouldn't touch the stuff. Is the minute up? Is the minute up?

Omar Najam: 56:42

last question. hi, this is Caleb Mahoney from the L. A. Times. does this campaign have anything to do with the fact that your, opposition, the two parties you're running against, are handing out scissors, for let's cut the rug? That is absolutely right. And as we all know, that Thank

Sandeep Parikh: 56:58

you so much. As we all know, rocks beat scissors. So thank you very much. no further questions. Thank you so much. All right, we did it. Can you tell that I had nothing?

Omar Najam: 57:13

I had no backup, I had no plan, but while you were doing it, I was like, what would I have said? And mine was going to be, I'm going to go around the district and make 30 seconds of sustained. Unblinking eye contact with every single registered voter.

Sandeep Parikh: 57:28

That might be even more horrifying than the stone, to be honest.

Delvan Neville: 57:32

Which for the record is the bribe that Omar provided to me.

Sandeep Parikh: 57:36

Wow. Okay. Just, oh, that's beautiful. Just, just someone paying attention to you Delvan. Just someone looking you in the eyes.

Delvan Neville: 57:42

It would be like, 7:15am, 30 seconds, unblinking.

Sandeep Parikh: 57:46

All right. Now that we're done with that, we're on to "Desi of the Week" and our "Desi of the Week" this week is Meena Alexander.

Omar Najam: 57:56

That's right. if you're like, "Hey, this name sounds really familiar. I've heard this name recently." That's because, Meena Alexander was the first person featured in the Google doodle for this year's Asian American heritage month. she's a poet and a scholar known for her work on migration and identity.

Sandeep Parikh: 58:17

I love that. I just love that lead into like you heard this name because like you're just assuming that people always read the Google doodles

Omar Najam: 58:25

When it's an interesting one, you always click on it. I mean, there's ones where it's just like, you know, it's like a bird and you're like, okay. And then there's one where you're like, I'm sorry,

Sandeep Parikh: 58:33

who, actually, who is that? Well, good. I'm glad you clicked on it. And in case you didn't, here is what Meena Alexander is all about. Born in India, raised in Sudan, educated in England, a longtime resident of New York City. She was known for drawing on her experience of multiple migrations. conflicting identity, and the customs of four continents to produce eight books of poetry, a memoir, and two novels.

Omar Najam: 58:55

Her honors included grants and fellowships from institutions including the Guggenheim Foundation, the Fulbright Foundation, the Rockefeller Foundation, and many more. She taught at schools that I think that you would know nothing about, Sandeep. Brown, Columbia, and several other colleges and universities. Wait a second!

Sandeep Parikh: 59:15

I went to one of those. I don't know what more you want to say. One of those rejected me and the other one accepted me. In Alexander's poem, Question Time, she asked, What use is poetry? Her response, We have poetry, so we do not die of history. I love that. For Alexander, the task of poetry was to make beauty of life's challenges and render it somehow survivable. I think a thing we need so much more of especially today. So we are super happy to shout out Meena Alexander. If you didn't happen to see her doodle then hopefully you heard this and are inspired to go check out her stuff.

Omar Najam: 59:54

Yes, and head over to the Poetry Foundation and search Meena Alexander, if you want to read some of Meena Alexander's works as well as hear some of them read out loud

Sandeep Parikh: 1:00:03

And that is the show. As always, our big ask is that you just go out there, find one person in your life who you think would love this show and share it with them.

Omar Najam: 1:00:12

Hey, you know, next week I would love to have a special guest and you know who that special guest should be? You! That's right! You can send us a question that you want to ask us about something culturally specific or advice, maybe some insight and we will look into it or answer it. We will answer it poorly, but we'll answer it on the show. You can write in or send us a quick audio file of the question. tell us your name and where you're from and send it over to abcdpodcastshow@gmail.com. That's abcdpodcastshow@gmail.com

Sandeep Parikh: 1:00:44

Yes, yes. Let us know something you're confused about. We'd love to, we'd love to chat about it. Alright, and now it's time to shout out our Patreons and listeners at the top. 10 or above level. Here we go. Here's our ballad of love to our Patreons at that shout out level. what's, what's the genre we're doing it in Delvin?

Delvan Neville: 1:01:03

The genre or style that you're doing it in is in the performance of Samuel L. Jackson from the upcoming film, Planes in a Snake. Oh. Okay.

Sandeep Parikh: 1:01:18

You start Omar.

Omar Najam: 1:01:23

Okay. I'm going to, okay, here we go. I'm thinking Sam Jackson in, I'm going to do a couple of different Sam Jackson's. I'm going to start just to give you an idea. I think I'm going to oscillate between some Nick furies. I think I'm going to, maybe, some diehards, but right now I'm going to go with, Samuel, I'm gonna start off with Samuel Jackson, from unbreakable. Oh, okay.. . Joshua Ryan Tall, BM Carlo, Benjamin Lowe, Miranda Hollinger,

Sandeep Parikh: 1:01:57

Mike along Ray Lynn Fox. Selena. B. Nervous Rex. Watch our Sarah Planes on those snakes.. Omar Najam: I still I'm cheering you on. Moldy. Where were you back there, Philip Dizon. I'm proud to call you a friend. Kathleen Shagle. Ducati. Reverend Coutinho. Brandon Pace. Motherfuckin Brandon Pace.

Omar Najam: 1:02:27

Monroe Maxwell. I'm also proud to call you a friend. Jeremy Schwartz. What were you doing over there? 8 Bit D. 8 Bit D. Chris Sims, get over here.

Sandeep Parikh: 1:02:37

What is that sign that Dan Wally is wearing in the middle of Harlem? He's gonna wear that in the middle of Harlem? Jeremy O'Brien? Astra? Brendan Bradley? Get out there! Get him!

Omar Najam: 1:02:52

Let me see, hold on. Samuel L. Jackson monologue. For our gods, we gotta do something a little special here. Hold on, let me just see if I can okay, hold on. Here we go. Google, thank you so much. Sometimes, and, oh, you're knocking over. Did something just, that's, I'm watching over Serena's dog right now. and, and, and I will mark Tucker great vengeance upon them with furious Hannah Lehman's, and they shall know James Gaffney. That I am the Scribbles and Flapjacks when I shall lay my Vaidin upon them. Thank you. That was awesome. Thank you. Thank you.

Sandeep Parikh: 1:03:43

Amazing. Well, look, if you're live, stick around for some bonus content, which will only be available via the VOD on the EffinFunny Patreon. Otherwise, that's the show. The show is produced and edited by Anand Shah and Kaylin Mahoney. The show's technical director and sound designer is Delvin Neville. The show's executive producers are me and Anand Shah, music by Harshal Sisodia, Jasvir Singh and Maulik Zaveri. This has been an EffinFunny production. And on behalf of our co hosts. Omar, I've been our host Sandeep, may your chuckles be aligned and smothered in chutney.